Karma = B**ch?

"Because karma, karma, karma comes back to you harder." - Lauren Hill "Lost Ones."

"But that karma is a bitch you steady asking God why." - Talib Kweli "Memories Live."

We've all heard the sayings above when it comes to the dreaded karma. However, I often sit back and think about my life and some of the things I've been through and done. At times that leads me to wonder is this karma thing real? I mean like anyone in life I've done some things in life that I consider to be bad. I'm not going to go through a list, but you can trust and believe it's the truth. But when I think about those actions and think about whether or not I was paid back by karma I can't always correlate the two.

Alright I'm sure you're awaiting at least one example. Well as a youth I wasn't always the model of outstanding citizenship I try to be today. LoL. Let's just say that running with the wrong crowd will get you to doing the wrong things 9 times out of 10. Now I'm quite sure the statute of limitations on vandalism has past; however, in an effort to not snitch nor self incriminate myself I'll just say this. Broken pieces of a spark plug hurled at a car window can shatter it. Now based off of karma and it's creed one day I should come out of work or my apartment and find my car windows busted out right? Yep like Jazmine Sullivan herself had just came out the studio after recording the song and my car was the first she saw.

**Side Note: I wonder if there has been an increase of random acts of vandalism and car windows being busted out since the release of that song? I guess I can ask the same for random engagements happening since Beyonce' and the "Single Ladies" anthem. But that's all for a different blog.**

Back to karma. Now thank God I've never had to experience this, but then again I'm still fairly young in age. Therefore, I guess karma doesn't have a time line of when it strikes either. Right? Or does it just mean that karma doesn't necessarily pay you back in an "eye for an eye" kind of way? I mean bad fortune is bad fortune regardless of how you look at it. I just walked outside and my car tire on my car is flat. Now the window wasn't busted. However, it's probably 15 degrees at best outside right now and I have to go and change and put on my spare tire. Then pay to get a new tire tomorrow. So could this be karma rearing it ugly little head? Hmmm I wonder.

Now when it comes to karma I'm always reminded of a TV show that I love to watch. I'm probably one of the few black people in the world that watch it, but I was instantly pulled in from the pilot episode. The show My Name is Earl deals directly with karma. The lead character earl was an overall bad person. He basically hooked and crooked his way through life on a daily basis. Until one day he scratched off a lottery ticket (which he stole) and won $100,000. Well the very next moment he runs outside of the liquor store in celebration and BAM!! He's hit by a car. The lotto ticket blows away and Earl is stuck in the hospital with serious injuries. While in the hospital something on TV reveals the laws of karma to him. This then prompts him to create and write down a list of all of the bad things he's done in life. Once out of the hospital, he sets out to make up for and to all the people he's done wrong to in his lifetime. Upon completing the first item on the list, the unthinkable happens. Yep! The lottery ticket magically finds it's way back to Earl. Convinced that this is only the act of karma Earl sets out on these wild adventures to complete all of the items on his list.

Don't worry I don't work for NBC or anything and I wasn't trying to sell anyone on that show. LoL. But, it is relevant to the topic at hand. I mean on some real talk I've had people do some truly wrong things to me in life; however, to be honest I have never wished karma's wrath on them. I mean I've been lied to, cheated on, stolen from, and so much more. Likewise, I've probably done some equally wrong things and had the worst wished upon me for those things. Yet I try to leave those things in the past and attempt to lead a life that presently is filled with doing things that for the most part are good.

Although none of us are without sin, we all know the old saying "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I can think of people in my life that at least in my lifetime, I have never seen do any wrong. Take my grandmother for example. Since I was old enough to remember she has always been that person that just helped any and everyone she could. She has always been very religious and went to church every Sunday. When she stopped being able to get to church she still paid her tithes. Now of course she had her ways that may have annoyed people, but overall she is a caring and loving person. She is one of those people that when you think about who's going to heaven it's just no question that her name is already written in the book. I mean you name it she will do it for you if she loves you, cares for you, or even if she just feels God is telling her to do it. You're down on your luck and need a place to stay, don't worry you can stay with granny. You need to borrow money, of course granny will lend it to you. You need advice, prayer, a babysitter, a meal, you name it and she would do it for you. Sadly, I've seen people steal from her for no reason at all. Because if they really needed the same amount of money they stole she would give it to them no questions asked.

Well in recent years my grandmother's situation hasn't been the best at all. Horrible things have happened. From her health deteriorating, to losing the house she owned for over 40 years (the house I grew up in as a child pictured to the left. It pains me to drive past the house and see how it looks now). When this happened no one was there nor in a position to help her. Including her own church which she gave only God knows how much money to over 40 + years. (Again that's a different blog entirely). I wasn't trying to make this a sob story, but I say all that to ask was this karma's wrath eventually catching up with her? I mean I've heard stories that my grandmother wasn't always a holy individual. So, was this the payback that she may have been avoiding all those years?

Honestly, I really don't know the answers to all the questions I asked in this post. I know I kept mentioning karma, but I think it simply alludes to the fact that there is a higher power. Therefore, we all need to do better and at least attempt to live our lives to a higher standard. No one is or can be perfect and will fall short of his grace. I'm by far not the most religious person at all. But I like to think that good deeds are rewarded with blessings. And well in contrast nothing good can come from bad deeds. Unfortunately, there are some people do wrong all the time and seem to still live far better then those that constantly do good. But I go on doing good knowing that there always has to be a balance in the universe. Not that I wish bad on anyone, but I guess eventually things will shape out and those bad deeds will never go unpunished. Call it a bitch or whatever word you want to use. Either way I guess that's just karma for you.

P.S. I wrote this with thoughts of someone that recently did me extremely wrong. They left me in a horrible situation knowing they could have easily done something to help. I'm not sure if they still read this blog or not. I could easily say I hope karma repays you for doing me wrong. But regardless just know that I don't have it in me to hate you for what you've done to me over this stretch of time. So with that said I don't wish bad upon you at all. I know you've been through much in the last year, so in fact, I hope and pray for you and your family. I pray that this year for you will be a 180 from last year. And not that you're concerned or worried about me anyway, but I'll always be alright in the end. So no hard feelings.

--C-Recks--