Off Da Hooky!!

Many of you are off of work today in observance of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not as lucky as some of you. My job doesn't give me the option to have this day off, so I'm here still slaving. And yeah I'm kinda hating on y'all on the low. LoL. However, I do plan on calling in sick tomorrow.

Yes we all know that tomorrow is the day we've been waiting for since November 4th. Yes the inauguration of our nation's first black President Barack Obama will take place tomorrow. Some of you lucky individuals will have the opportunity to attend the historic event in person. I will not be in attendance, so for those of you that do attend, I look forward to hearing all about it. So you're probably wondering why am I calling off then?

Well the reason I plan on calling off is because I have a job interview tomorrow. Now I won't front things at my job are on very thin ice, and at times I feel like I weigh 500 pounds. For this and many other reasons I have been trying to find a new job. So, as ecstatic as I was when I got that call back after my phone interview to interview in person, I was still reluctant. The reason being that the only date they had available for this interview is tomorrow. Yep the same day as the inauguration. Just in case you're still wondering what's the big deal I'll break it down even further.

I'm the ONLY black person in my office now. Tomorrow is the inauguration for our first black President. Therefore, I feel like regardless of what excuse I use to call off, in their minds they'll be thinking "bullshit, this nigga is just calling off because of the inauguration." Well that is false I will actually miss the majority, if not all of the inauguration due to the scheduled time of the interview. But it's cool I got my DVR set to record. As much as I'd like to watch live, unless Barack is going to hook me up with a job I'm going to have to check out the DVR version of the inauguration. LoL.

But this whole calling off tomorrow got me to thinking about excuses and reasons used to call off from work. I don't call off too often, but the times I have I'm sure I've used some type of excuse that they just had to accept as truth. For instance, my brother and I took a road trip to St. Louis, Mo. back in November to watch the Chicago Bears play against the St. Louis Rams. After drinking during tailgating and during the game, we knew we weren't driving back home to Chicago. Which meant I would have to call off work on Monday morning. Well since I was quite intoxicated it was nothing for me to wake up early that morning and in my best sick voice call off. I mean technically I was sick right? Plus sick voice and hang over voice pretty much sound the same so no one could tell the difference.

Funny thing about that story is when I came back to work that Tuesday a co-worker of mines asks me "Did you go to the game Sunday?" I immediately said no. Then she goes "oh okay I just asked because I went and someone told me you may have been going." Dammit I forgot I told one person in advance I may be attending the game. Also, I remembered my brother saying he was on the Jumbo Tron and he was excited about it. So I'm thinking to myself I hope she didn't see me on the screen as well. Luckily, this is someone that I'm cool with so she wouldn't snitch on me. I hope. But I just found it funny.

Now as a general rule I try not to call off with excuses that involve any type of emergency for fear they may come true. For instance, I've never really used the whole "my son is sick or had an accident" excuse. Only because I would feel horrible if something were to happen to him or if he got sick after me saying so. However, I won't hesitate to claim I'm sick or something that has to do with me.

So to be honest I have no clue what excuse I will be using tomorrow when I call off. I may just freestyle it as the phone rings and come off the cuff. I'm good like that. LoL. But I tried to find some info online that would be informative but this is all I got. "The top three reasons healthy employees call out sick, something 35% of workers admit to are personal errands, appointments, catching up on sleep, and simply relaxing, according to hiring managers surveyed by CareerBuilder.com. They had some bizarre excuses used by some employees, but they were simply stupid excuses that would never fly or even be believed by the stupidest of managers. For instance "I was sprayed by a skunk, I was spit on by a venomous snake, or a hit man was looking for me."

Needless to say I won't be using any of those dumb excuses. However, I'm curious to know what excuses you guys would suggest for me to use? Also, what are your most outrageous and or frequently used excuses to call off from work? (That worked of course). Hopefully, the whole interview on inauguration day will have some significance and I'll land this job. Wish me luck y'all. Below is a funny clip about black people calling off from work by D.L. Hughley. Classic Material. The part I'm referring runs from about the 1:00 to 1:45 minute mark.

**** UPDATE ****
For those of you that may be wondering what excuse did I come up with to call off today here it is. I left a voice mail saying this. "Hi _(Manager)_ I'm calling because I just dropped my son off at Pre-School and on my way to work they called me and said I had to come back and pick him back up because a bunch of kids were sick. My son was just sick last week so I don't want him to be exposed. My son's mom and grandparents are out of town so I'm the only one available to watch him. I will try to see if I can find a sitter and come in later I will let you know."

I called later. "I was unable to find anyone to watch my son so I will just be in tomorrow morning any questions or suggestions you can call me at #...."

The interview went very well. Hopefully, I'll have some good news come next week. But we'll see tomorrow the reaction I get for me having called off today.

Thanks for everyone's advice.

--C-Recks--

Black to the Future

It's late afternoon on March 23, 2050.

"Grandaddy. I need some help with my homework". Jesse, a cute little girl of 9 snuggles up to her grandfather.

OK baby, what do you need help with.

"You know that President that just died? Well we need to do a report on him. Our teacher told us to interview someone who was alive when he was President. So I figured I would interview you".
You mean President Obama baby?

"I guess" the little girl shrugs.

OK, well what do you want to know?

"I don't know. Tell me about when you voted for him and stuff like that".

OK. Well, it's actually a very funny story. See, I was in Chicago on that Saturday before the election. I was absolutely determined to get back to Los Angeles to vote. I mean, this was going to be historic, and I didn't want to be sitting on the sidelines for this moment in history. So I left Chicago on Saturday evening. I was supposed to go bowling with my brother Cory and my nephew Cory, but they wouldn't let us. Some snake league was bowling. In hind sight, its probably best that I didn't get the chance. You'll understand why later.

Anyway. I left Chicago that evening, and back in the day I actually drove cars. Not how you guys have flying cars now, I actually had to steer and drive myself. So I drove all the way to Denver, Colorado. I made it there on Sunday evening. From there, I had to drive to Salt Lake City, Utah. I didn't make it to Salt Lake City until Monday afternoon. I would have caught a flight from Salt Lake to Los Angeles, but your grandfather isn't the flying type. So I bought a ticket to ride the bus. Well, the company the ran the buses back then was called Greyhound, and let me tell you that they were the absolute worst. I got on the bus, and the bus was supposed to leave at 6:30 p.m. Well, at 7 p.m., the bus was still sitting in Salt Lake. And as a matter of fact, the driver put me off the bus so that they could put on some other passengers.

I was so upset. It really was beginning to look like I wasn't gonna be able to make it home in time to vote. But I got a bright idea. I called someone from my job, and I figured out that if I took the bus to San Francisco, I could pickup a car and drive myself to Los Angeles. So I went for it. I made it to San Francisco around 2:30 p.m. that Tuesday afternoon. Greyhound was supposed to get me there earlier, but again, they were the absolute worst company back then. Probably the reason they are no longer operating this many years late.

So I left San Francisco at 3 p.m. Well unlike today, we had a such thing as traffic back in my day. And San Francisco was notorious for having some of the worst traffic in the country. I can't deny, I was weaving in and out of the car pool lanes trying to pass up some people. Eventually I made some headway, and I was flying. I mean, going so fast that I could have given these flying cars of today a run for their money. I had to drive 344 miles, and I needed to get to my polling place by 8 p.m. It was hectic for sure. I pulled up to my polling place at 7:58 p.m. (Pacific Time) I ran inside. Out of breath, I asked the lady for a ballot. She said "you barely made it". I told her that after all that I had been through, I was happy that I made it at all. She handed me my ballot, and I went to do my civic duty. I finished voting, got my stub and my "I voted sticker" and I went back out to the car.
As soon as I got back in the car, they made the announcement that Barack Obama would be our 44th President. I was ecstatic. I mean, after traveling all that great distance, I had cast the ballot that sealed the deal for Barack Obama.

"No you didn't Grandaddy. You just voted, that's all"

Hey, I'm telling the story not you. Were you there in 2008?

With a big grin on her face, Jesse shakes her head no.

Alright then. Anyway. The most important thing that I want you to take from this story is this; too often our people, back then, believed that their vote was insignificant. And unfortunately, that's exactly what certain segment of our population wanted them to believe. But President Obama reminded people that it was not only a privilege to vote in this country, but a responsibility. And plenty of our ancestors died for us to have just this very privilege. That's why I tried to move Heaven and Earth to get myself home in time to vote. I mean, I knew one day that you and you brothers and sisters would need to hear this story. And most importantly, you one day would tell your own children and grandchildren. Your Grandaddy voted for the first Black President of the United States. I know that it doesn't seem like much now considering that we've had other Black Presidents, including Barack's daughter Malia, but you need to know that on November 4th, 2008, the world did change. President Obama did make it to where we as black people understood that we were important in this country. And yes, we could make a change.
So when you do your report, you make sure you let your class know that though I never thought I'd ever see a black President, I give glory to God that I was absolutely wrong.

"I will grandaddy, I will!!"


-DrizaDre-

Vote Today!!

I'm sure everyone will be busy watching the polls and voting today. I Just wanted to pass along the message for all to get out and Vote today. I did as you can see. I hope that everyone else did or does too.

--C-Recks--

Paint the White House "Barack"

"When you win, sometimes you really loseAnd sometimes when you lose, you really win"
Rosie Perez in White Men Can't Jump

In the interest of intellectual honesty, I want to start by saying that the following words are not written with any formal training in politics. However, they are rooted in 29 years that I've spent on Earth as a black man.

Barack Obama will be the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee! I repeat, Barack Obama will be the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee.

Is anyone else suspicious of Hillary's refusal to concede victory? I understand that they have a particular number of delegates that each person has to get to offically capture the nomination. 2,026 . But nobody believes that Hillary has a snow ball's chance at getting to 2025.

So it sounds like Barack is golden right? As they've been calling him, the presumptive nominee, right? Well let me equate this to sports for you. Right now, its about 2 minutes left in the game, and Barack is ahead by 2 touchdowns, and has the ball. Hillary is out of timeouts. So Barack should just be able to kneel his way to the victory.

Well Obama fans, prepare yourselves for a stunning defeat. Here's what my gut says.
The final primaries are on June 3rd, and in all likelyhood, neither Hillary nor Barack will have the necessary 2026. Which opens up what is called a brokered convention. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brokered_convention
Well for those of you who are politically unaware, that is where I suspect that Hillary Clinton and her minions will put on the fight of her life. And I believe she will emegre victorious.

Here's why.

As hot as Barack was at one point, winning 10 consecutive elections between February 9th and February 19th, those contests will not help him at all. The states that will decide his fate will have been Pennsylvania, Kentucky and West Virginia.

Barack has lost in those 3 states by what could be considered a large number. WV and KY by around 30%. Many of the pundits say that middle class white voters went overwhelmingly for Hillary, partly as a consequence for the whole Jeremiah Wright controversy.

However, it will be the results from those states in which Hillary will mount her vigorous comeback. She will argue that working class whites won't vote for Barack in the General Election, virtually gift wraping the Presidency to John McCain, should the party go through with nominating Barack. (If this were sports, lets just say that Obama fumbled the ball, and Hillary recovered and ran it back for a touchdown. She's still down 7 though).

She will find some way to convince the delegates that blacks will vote for Barack, even if its as the VP. Maybe not in as large a number as in the primaries, but in far larger numbers than in typical elections. (Ok sports fans, Hillary just recovered the onside kick).

The last thing that I believe will take place is that there will be some serious arm twisting being done by Hillary and the rest of the Clinton Machine. The likes of which, I don't believe that Barack will be able to withstand. I believe they will find a way to convince him that its just not his time yet. Sit back and be VP for 8 years. You'll be able to learn, gain experience and in 8 years, you'll be primed for the White House. Hell, he'll even have the blessing and backing of the Clinton Machine.(And that's it, the Hail Mary touchdown pass with the 2 point conversion).
Hillary Clinton wins in dramatic fashion!

Now I want to go on record and say that I predicted more than a year ago that the Democratic ticket would wind up being Hillary-Obama. So maybe this scenario would just be fufilling my own prediction. And there were times that I thought Barack might pull it off, hell I voted for him. However, slowly but surely, Hillary's hanging on. I can't call that a coincidence. Can You?

--drizadre