Shadows of Doubt

"You put on two tube socks, you couldn't walk in my shoes" Jay-Z

So last week I saw some tweets that were being sent regarding Diggy Simmons [the son of Rev Run] and a freestyle video that he had put out. The consensus of most of those tweets were that he did a pretty good job in the video. However, I first ignored those tweets and formed my own opinion before even hearing it. My reasons were based solely on the fact that Rev's other son JoJo Simmons is a so called "rapper" as well. And well let's just say his skills are less than quality if you ask me. (See Video Below if you want to form your own opinion the cat that's first to spit is Jo Jo).



So after seeing another tweet about the Diggy video I went ahead and checked it out. Now I will admit that his flow was okay but average at best. However, I will say 3 things though. First, he is definitely way better than his brother Jo Jo. Secondly, knowing that he's still really young he's probably the best in that age category right now (if such a category even exists presently), and also better than some "rappers" twice his age. Lastly, I feel that if he stays at it in 3-4 years he may be top notch in his craft. (Check out the Diggy Vid below)



Now those reading may think I'm being hard on the kid. Now don't get me wrong I respect the kid's hustle and the fact that he's doing something positive and probably isn't using his dad's influence to make it happen. However, you have to understand that as a lover of Hip Hop (since a young child) and as an Emcee myself I judge rappers on a different scale than most. So basically it takes a lot to move me and convince me that you have skills in the rap department.

But if I was to go into therapist mode on the situation, I'd say Jo Jo became a rapper because he was trying to get his pops attention and or approval, while Diggy was more just doing what he wanted to do. But I have no degree in that field so this is purely my own speculation.

Now I said all that to finally approach the subject at hand. How do you as a child of someone great, following in the same footsteps as your parent(s), ever attempt to match the greatness of your parent(s). And is it even possible? In the above examples, I questioned will Diggy or Jo Jo ever be as great a rappers as their dad was and achieve the level of success that he did? Run DMC was 1 of the first Hip Hop acts to really hit on a mainstream Level. And thus Rev Run has become as successful as he has. Now to me that's not something that's easy to follow up. So my prediction would be no I doubt if either of them can reach those levels, but I guess only time will tell.

But more than anything I guess my answer to this question is more like why would you even want to follow behind someone great? I mean to be honest my father once was into music. But if he had been a huge music superstar then I don't think I'd even be willing to go down that path. Even if that was something he was pushing or even if I showed real talent in that area I just don't think I would be willing to do the same. I just think the possibility of falling short and always being compared to a legend is hard to overcome. So if the Cosmic Era (inside family joke my bro will laugh @ this one) popped off back in the 80's and my dad ending up being one of the great musicians in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame I think I'd go opposite. I think I'd be like a master Chess player or something. Check mate MF! lol.

Although I have to big up to those that have the ability to withstand the criticism, ridicule and pressure and do so, I'm just saying I don't think I could do it. For instance Jesse Jackson Jr., he's a good example, as he followed in his dad's footsteps and became a politician, activist and a man of the people. Obviously he hasn't put in the work his pops has (standing next to Dr. MLK Jr. and all) but all in all he's done a pretty decent job if you ask me.

But there are others that I just don't think will ever get close to the level. For instance, in my opinion Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player to ever dribble a ball. He has 2 sons, both of which played basketball in high school and now in college. However, I would venture to say that neither of these sons will ever get even close to the level of basketball player that their dad was. Although I haven't followed their careers, just based off having not heard much of anything in the news, I can conclude their efforts in comparison to their father's are pretty lack luster. Now again, I'm not being critical, and they may indeed go on to have pretty decent NBA careers down the line. But will they ever achieve the same status of their dad? I would be willing to bet money they won't.

Now in contrast this weekend I also happened to hit a link that took me to a live U-Stream video of P.Diddy and his oldest son Justin. Don't ask what made me hit this link. Bored I guess. But after watching for a little bit I noticed 2 things. 1 I want to be rich just so I can have a TV as big as Diddy's (my God you should've saw the size of this screen). Oh and on the subject at hand, when asked his son said he has no desire to be an entertainer and actually wants to be a football player. This actually shocked me. Just because I figured that since Diddy loves the lime light so much that he'd be likely to push his kids in that same direction. Especially after having previously seen the video below.



Also, on that same note on the anniversary of Notorious B.I.G.'s death I heard an interview with B.I.G.'s daughter's mom. They of course asked her if her daughter wanted to be in the entertainment industry at all. Her response was no she has no desire to be an entertainer, she actually is into fashion design and wants to go to college for that. I was happy to hear this. Likewise, we all know that we lost Michael Jackson last year. Michael Jackson was the greatest entertainer of all time. But we know he has 2 children and I think I may have heard that one of them sings. But I don't care how good they may be I hope they never ever try to go into entertainment. Because those are 1 pair of shoes (or glittery socks) I don't think anyone can ever fill, even his own offspring.

I'm sure I can go on and on naming examples of people that both prove and disprove my theory. But as I said this is just my personal opinion and how I would react given the situation. I'm not hating on anyone or anything like that. Also, I'm not saying that if your average Joe or Jane is a doctor or lawyer or in some other high powered position that they're child shouldn't strive to be the same. Again, I'm referring to what I consider "Great" or "the greatest." So I just think regardless of the situation it's difficult to come behind the greatest in any field and fill those shoes.

Well that's my take. What's yours? Leave a Comment at the Beep!

--C-Recks--

Marriage Confidential

Well the weather is nice, the sun is shining, and love is in the air. So that means it's that time of year again. Yes it is summer time but actually that is not what I was referring to. I'm referring to the coveted wedding season. But before you love birds jump that broom, stomp that glass, light your unity candle or whatever your tradition is, there is one piece of business you may want to have in order prior to saying your "I Dos."

Now I'm sure you may think you know where I'm going with this, but please keep reading before you assume and dismiss what I'm saying. I know you're probably thinking along the lines of what Kanye West said in his song "Gold Digger." "Shoulda' got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey(your money) If you ain't no punk holla' we want pre-nup WE WANT PRE-NUP!, (yeah) It's something that you need to have Cause when she leave yo' ass she gon' leave with half." Okay well you partially got me, yes prenuptial agreements are vital in some marriages. But that's actually not what I'm speaking of. I personally think even more crucial than a prenup would be a Confidentiality Agreement (Or as I'll refer to it in this blog CA).

Now you're probably thinking as I did when I got married that hey I'm just a regular Joe or Jane. I work my 9-5 for a minuscule salary just to pay my bills and do a little extra, so why would I need a prenup or a CA? Well I agree that for us regular folk a prenup or a CA aren't really things we think about when we decide to get married. That is unless you think those lucky numbers in the fortune cookies may have a chance at showing up in tonight's lotto drawing. So yes pending luck the average person may not require a prenup or a CA. However, you must admit that the idea of a CA is sort of intriguing. So you may as well continue reading to find out why. Lol

Okay so unless you're working a 6 figure job, or have a position of prestige the CA may not be for you. But for people such as celebrities, athletes, and politicians well it should be mandatory. Why, do you ask? Well I'm glad you asked that question. You see we all know that in a marriage you're joined together with a person that you're supposed to be able to tell your inner most thoughts, fears, and secrets to. Well God forbid you and that person split up or divorce for any circumstances. But if by any chance you do, let's just say that the other person has no obligation or incentive to keep the things they know about you to themselves. So, what's to stop them from spreading your personal and intimate business? The answer is nothing, that is unless you have a nifty Confidentiality Agreement.

So what can the CA really do for you? Actually it's not about what it can do for you but it's about what it can prevent from happening to you. Let's look at some examples. You've probably all seen or heard of Tricia Walsh-Smith aka the Youtube Divorcee'. Well in the midst of a bitter divorce she decided that she was going to air out her soon to be ex-husband's dirty laundry and discuss their divorce. But instead of just telling his friends, family, and or co-workers she took it a little more extreme. In this technological age there is no better way to put someone on blast than by using the Internet. And not just any old Internet site, but with a video on http://www.youtube.com/.

Now I personally feel like she was totally wrong for doing this regardless of how wrong she felt he was being in the divorce. I mean yes he may have told her he can't have sex due to high blood pressure and she may have found condoms, porn magazines, and Viagra but should that be told to the world? That's obviously something personal he didn't even want her to know, let alone the millions of Youtube subscribers. But somehow the media took a liking to this particular video and the next thing you know the video is being played on the news and shows like The Insider. So, what she may have done thinking it was seemingly harmless, has become a huge ordeal. And information that should have remained private has now been exposed on a worldwide level. She's even gone on to do 2 other videos updating the status of the divorce. I even found that she has her own website now http://www.triciawalshsmith.com/ where she is also discussing information about the divorce. So I'm sure some of you are thinking, well doesn't she have the First Amendment right to express herself as she chooses just as long as she's not saying anything that is false and defaming his character. Well based off the episodes of Judge Mathis I've seen in the past you would be correct. Although her husband was smart enough to protect his money by having her to sign a prenup, he did nothing to protect his character from being assassinated. However, if he was really smart he would have had a CA and then he wouldn't be going through what he is now. As soon as this video surfaced on Youtube the judge would have slapped her with a Gag Order quicker than a pimp slaps a hoe that's come up short with his money. Unfortunately, he did not and I'm sure his soon to be ex-wife will continue broadcasting his business and information regarding their divorce until her number of hits drastically decreases and no one cares anymore. Also, I'm sure that with her being an actress and writer that this whole exercise of free speech will land her some type of book, movie, or reality show deal in the end. So kudos to Tricia way to get around the air tight prenup her husband's lawyer drew up. I'm sure she read it and didn't see any CA in there and there we have it.

Now speaking of Book Deals our next example comes from the book "Confessions of a Video Vixen" by none other than Karrine "Superhead" Steffans. I'm sure most of you are familiar with Superhead and her book so I won't get into who all she screwed and what she said about them. I personally never read the book, however; I do recall being in a book store one day and reading an excerpt. Well what I read was pretty shocking to me. She was describing an incident that took place with her then (now ex) husband rapper Kool G. Rap. So if you haven't read the book, basically G.Rap suffered from some sort of seizures and took medication for this condition. However, as she stated he was too masculine to even take the pills and as a result on this particular occasion had a seizure while on the toilet. She then went on to explain how she had to wipe his ass so that when the paramedics came he wouldn't be embarrassed. Now as I'm reading this I'm thinking come on now of all the things to tell you had to go and tell this. I'm sure I am not the only one that had a lot of respect for Kool G. Rap. But I have to be honest that after reading this, it's sort of tainted my view of G.Rap especially his hard core rap image. So again, in the case of Kool G. Rap he could have spared himself some embarrassment had he had a CA when he married Superhead.

Other notable "tales from the ex" as I like to call them include rapper/actor Mos Def's ex-wife Alana Wyatt Smith and her tell-all book "Breaking the Code of Silence." Also, former New Jersey Governor (The Gay Governor) Jim McGreevey's ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey has a tell-all book called "Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage." Actually, come to find out that her book was only a response to Jim McGreevey's previously released book entitled "The Confession." Likewise, famous Oscar winning actor Marlon Brando's ex-wife Tarita Teriipaia released "Marlon, My Love, My Suffering." Next, there is Marc Anthony's ex-wife Dayanara Torres' book "Married to Me: How Committing to Myself Led to Triumph After Divorce." I doubt if Hollywood actor/director Clint Eastwood felt "lucky" when his ex-wife Sondra Locke wrote her book "The Good, The Bad & The Very Ugly." Former baseball slugger turned Steroid snitch Jose Canseco's ex-wife Jessica Canseco is doing some snitching of her own in her book "Juicy: Confessions of a Former Baseball Wife." R&B superstar Whitney Houston's ex-husband the infamous Bad Boy Bobby Brown is releasing "Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But." Let Bobby tell it Whitney is the one that turned him on to cocaine. Also, there is a book in the works by crooner Tony Bennett's ex-wife Sandra Grant Bennett that may destroy Bennett's good guy image. Lastly, Britney Spears first ex-husband Jason Alexander is even trying to write a book about their 55 hour marriage. This one I don't understand. How many pages can you even fill up surrounding a 2 day marriage? But as you can see if someone will buy it they will write it.

Nevertheless, there are those not fortunate enough to get a book deal. Therefore, they don't hesitate to accept magazine and television interview offers. For instance Tori Spelling's ex-husband Charlie Shanian spilled it all in an issue of Men's Monthly. Also, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's ex-wife Debra Marshall verbally body slammed Stone Cold on Fox News with allegations of physical and steroid abuse. Finally, we can't forget about the unmarried individuals that never even stood a chance when it came to being outed by their exes. Such as, rapper Nas whose ex-girlfriend/baby mama Carmen Bryan wrote a tell all book entitled “Sex, Drugs and Hip-Hop – Oh, and Did I Mention Love?” Also, P.Diddy's ex-girlfriend/baby mama Kim Porter did an interview in Essence Magazine giving details of their relationship and break up.

Now I haven't had the chance to read any of the material listed above, however; I can bet they all have a central theme. One being long ass titles, what's up with that? Lol. But beyond that I can guess the pages are filled with bitter exes telling how their relationship with (enter celebrity name here) was abusive, how they were cheated on, and how they have been caused such distress and or depression because of the past relationship. Oh and I'm sure there will be tales of alcohol and drug abuse and sexcapades mixed in there as well (You have to sell the book don't you?). Now the rest of the book, I'm sure, will be filled with boring background on the person writing it and their childhood. However, in an effort to get to the good parts about that celebrity they married you'll read the whole book as not to miss anything. If anyone has read any of the above material please let me know if I am on point or not with my assumptions. Now I'm not the one to say whether any of the allegations are true or not. But even if they are true, telling the world won't change what happened to you in the relationship. Perhaps it will give you some satisfaction by getting revenge but that's about it. If you really want to get it all off your chest so that you will feel better, wouldn't a therapist be the best person to seek? But wait oh wait! I forgot to mention the Money! Duh! Of course, silly me they're getting paid to write and publish these books. Well at least be man or woman enough to admit that is why you're doing it. So in the continued theme of exes writing tell-all books I predict that we should soon be seeing books by notable exes such as: Juanita Jordan (Michael Jordan), Shaunie Nelson (Shaquille O'Neal), Al Reynolds (Star Jones), Mary Lee Harvey (Steve Harvey), Malaak Compton-Rock (Chris Rock), and Kevin Federline (Britney Spears). That is unless a CA was signed at some point.

Believe it or not, of all these celebrities, I was only able to find one that was smart enough to get themselves a CA. I'm sure there are plenty others that have CAs and we never hear anything about it (which is the point). But this particular celebrity made news because of her CA. So the award goes to none other than Jennifer Lopez aka J-Lo (I'll accept it on her behalf. Lol). Apparently after ending her 11 month marriage with first ex-husband Ojani Noa, Noa attempted to write a tell-all book entitled “The Unknown Truth: A Passionate Portrait of a Serial Thriller.” I guess what Noa failed to remember or attempted to get around was that he and Lopez had signed a nondisclosure, “non-disparagement” agreement during an earlier legal settlement. So, Noa attempted to black mail or extort (which ever term you want to use) J-LO into paying him $5 million in hush money for not spilling her secrets. Well J-Lo sued him for "violating a confidentiality agreement they had by circulating a manuscript that contained private information about their lives together, report news sources. It was the violation of that agreement that won Lopez the $545,000 - $200,000 in damages for breach of contract, and $348,000 in attorneys’ fees and arbitration costs - along with a permanent injunction against Noa which prohibits him from disclosing any intimate details from their relationship." http://www.celebitchy.com/5120/j-lo_awarded_her_ex-husbands_dough/ You see the CA works like a charm every time. Not only were J-Lo's ex-husband's efforts to write a book telling all her secrets thwarted, but he ended up having to pay her and her legal fees in the end.


So in conclusion, let us take a lesson from all of these celebrities that have been burned by their exes. Unfortunately in today's times divorce rates are steadily increasing. Therefore, I do can easily turn into I don't, I love you can turn into I hate you, and I take this man/woman can turn to get this MF the hell outta my face. LOL. So all I'm saying is we all know car/house insurance is a rip off because on average you won't use it and you're usually paying premiums for nothing but the possibility of something happening. But just in case a natural disaster strikes your home, your brakes go out on your car, you want to be prepared and protected right? Well I say the same goes for marriage. Yes I know with being just the average Joe or Jane that having your reputation ruined may not affect you financially like those celebrities. But hell since Tricia Walsh-Smith started it, who really wants to be on the receiving end of the next Youtube divorce video? I know I wouldn't!! I'd want my skeletons to remain in the damn closet like R. Kelly. Although I've been told by my brother that I could talk Jesus out of getting married, that is not the intention of this blog. If you're confident that your future wife/husband will always keep any intimate details of you a secret, then I say do your thing. No CA needed or required, congrats and my best wishes on a lifetime of marital bliss. However, if you're even a little suspect whether or not the person you're about to walk down the aisle with will sell you out quicker than the new I-Phone then the Confidentiality Agreement may be an option for you. I'll leave you with a quote from one last celebrity that was put on blast in a movie after his divorce, Ike Turner in "What's Love got to do with it."

"Eat the cake Anna Mae"

C-Recks

Full Clip to Pulpit???

In 1996 when first heard Mason Betha aka Mase rap on the remix to 112's "Only You" I think I kind of had a neutral reaction. In other words, I had no strong opinion of him either way, he was just sort of blah to me, nothing spectacular, but at the same time he wasn't the worst rapper either (Suga Free still holds that title). But at first, I think it wasn't a big deal because I knew Bad Boy still had the greatest of all time on their team the Notorious B.I.G. So to add a Mase to the team was like the Chicago Bulls with Michael Jordan adding Pete Myers, it's not going to add to or take away from the team's ability to win. Unfortunately, the tragic death of Notorious B.I.G. took place soon after on March 9, 1997. After mourning, label owner Sean "Puffy" Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P.Diddy still had to make executive decisions. Much like Chicago Bulls GM Jerry Reinsdorf had to do when Michael Jordan retired.

So when executive decision time came Diddy went ahead and ran with what he had which was Biggie's "Life After Death" album, Mase, himself and some no name acts currently riding the bench at the bottom of the roster. The Life After Death album dropped approximately 3 weeks after Big's death (Keep this fact in mind). Of course I was one of the first in line to buy my copy of what would be Big's last studio album. Well when I looked at the song list on the back I noticed something that seemed strange. There were 3 songs that featured Puff Daddy including a song called "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" which also featured Mase. Now it was never unusual to see Puff Daddy sharing part of Biggie's limelight (go back and watch any Biggie Video). However, to hear Puff rapping was very abnormal in my eye. Even though there was a single that I had heard from Puffy and Mase it was still not the norm. Now producing, doing ad libs (Take That!), and dancing in videos that was Puff's M.O. all day. But rapping just seemed out of the norm at that time to me. Well later down the line after Puff's solo career took off he explained that he had Biggie's blessing and that Big always encouraged him to go ahead and rap. So I guess with "Big's blessing" he chose to explore this part of his career on Big's Life After Death album.

Well to again refer to the Chicago Bulls analogy with Pete Meyers, it's easier to run with or behind the greatest than to take over for the greatest. Although Meyers was at one time hyped to be the next Michael Jordan when he had to prove it all by himself...well you get the point. I'm not sure if Puff's next decision was an experiment or what but as mentioned above he released "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" which was Puffy Daddy Featuring Mase. The song sampled Grand Master Flash's "The Message" and the chorus had an interpolation of another old song "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder. Well I was trying to remember the exact time when this song was released and couldn't quite remember. So after doing some research I found out that this single was actually released prior to the Life After Death Album and its first single "Hypnotize." However, in my opinion it was a flop and a very lack luster effort and first single for Mase or Puffy. But this somehow flew far under the Bad Boy Radar because don't forget Big's Album release date was quickly approaching so we all somehow let Puffy and Mase off of the hook for this one. Ironically, the single would go on to appear on Puffy Daddy's first solo album "No Way Out" which would actually end up dropping prior to Mase's first album. For some reason Puffy's album dropped only 3 months after Biggie's album. I'm not sure how Puff found the time to mourn the loss of his closest friend all while finishing recording his solo CD, do promotional touring for it, and still run a successful record label; however, I guess we all mourn differently and don't forget as they say "the show must go on." Well go on it did No Way Out went on to spawn 4 successful singles including "All About the Benjamins," "Been Around the World," and "Victory" all which conveniently featured the Notorious B.I.G. And who can forget Puffy's dedication to Big "I'll Be Missing You."



Well it was apparent that Mase nor Puff were able to hold their own on their own so what was the next logical move to make? Well let's just say that Mo' Money Mo Problems just so happen to be the 2nd single selected off the "Life After Death" album. Now keep in mind that Life After Death was a double CD so it had a total of 24 tracks (22 full songs minus the 2 interludes). So, this was a solid album that had many songs with single potential, but I always wondered why Mo' Money Mo' Problems was picked as the follow up single to Hypnotize. Well I say if you want to know why a puppet makes certain moves look to see who's pulling the strings. So next up was Mo' Money Mo' Problems which sampled the Dianna Ross song "I'm Coming Out." Then, add a million dollar video directed by Hype Williams, a couple of "shiny suits," some old video footage of B.I.G., some horrible acting by Mase and Puff and BAM! you've got your next 2 platinum selling Bad Boy artists.



After one more single from B.I.G.'s album ("Sky's the Limit" featuring 112), it was time for Mase to take his place as Bad Boy's new lead act. By this time Mase had made plenty of guest appearances not only on Puff's album but on remixes for other artist such as Brian Mcknight and Mariah Carey. Therefore, it was time for "Harlem World" Mase's debut album. Honestly, after the "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" and "Mo Money Mo Problems" I had already decided I was not a fan of Mase. So when I heard the first single from his album "Feels So Good" it was to no surprise that it was heavily influenced by Puffy. Once again an old song was sampled, this time it was "Hollywood Swinging" by Kool & The Gang. Also, once again a lot of bright lights and shiny suits were in the video. His next single, "What You Want" Featuring Total had another sample from Curtis Mayfield's "right on for the darkness." I would go on to say this song and the single to follow "Lookin at me" somehow made Mase more appealing to the ladies. Well that and I'm sure the baby face and the dimples helped them to overlook his oddly shaped head (trust me I'm not hating. lol). But on the flip side of that his single "24 Hours to Live" Featuring Black Rob, DMX, The Lox, and Puff Daddy, was probably the song that to me to finally gave him a little street credibility. Prior to hearing this song I sort of felt like Mase was just a better version of Puffy. So when I heard him say "I'd even look for my dad that I never knew And show him how I look and my Beretta too," I was shocked yet intrigued since I had heard that Mase's nickname used to be "Murder Mase." Well Regardless of what you thought about Mase, no one could deny the success of Mase's debut which sold over 270,000 in his first week and later went on to go multi-platinum (4x).



With much hype surrounding Mase's 2nd release "Double Up" many had high expectations especially after going quadruple platinum on his first effort. However, skeptics such as myself questioned whether the sophomore jinx would somehow affect Mase. With Double Up's release date set for summer 1999, not even Miss Cleo or Syliva Brown could have predicted what would happen next. About one month before his 2nd album was to drop Mase announces that he's become a born-again Christian and is retiring from Music. In a Bad Boy press release he states
"I'm grateful for all the blessings bestowed on me that were a result of my music career, now it's time for me to serve God in His way. The Lord sends you messages when He's ready and not necessarily when we are." In a separate interview with Jet Magazine, he went on to say "I said the first day I walked into music that I'm not here to be a 30-year-old rapper. I wouldn't be intelligent to think that I would be ... It just so happens that I'm pursuing God, and that's shocking for some people because that's not every body's idea of what I'm like." Even more shocking, his new commitment to God apparently would only allow Mase to make spoken word engagements for the promotion of the Double Up album. Needless to say, the album sales suffered due to this decision, only selling 107,000 in it's first week and only going on to acheive gold status. According to Wikipedia, Mase later ended up moving down south to "Atlanta, GA where he would study at Clark Atlanta University. Mase received an honorary Th.D from St. Paul's Bible Institute in New York and began to address himself as Dr. Mason Betha. He became the founder and pastor of both S.A.N.E. (Saving a Nation Endangered) Church International and Mason Betha Ministries in Atlanta."

Although there were many rumors surrounding Mase's sudden retirement, I think that many believed he would eventually come back to the rap game. I myself (being the skeptic that I am) also remember saying that he will come back. I felt that no one that is this young and making this much money would just walk away from it without valid enough reason. Being a rapper myself I can admit that I would never walk away from it unless I had a good reason. I mean everyone's dream in life is to be able do what you love doing and make money doing it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying religion and dedicating your life to God isn't a good enough reason to quit because it's more than enough. However, for me personally his reasoning didn't help my suspicions at all. So I too came up with my own conspiracy theories as to what may have prompted Mase's early retirement. I will only share one those theories as to avoid any defamation of character lawsuits.

Theory: Despite what they may want us as believe, rappers are not "Ballin!" So although we may saw Mase wearing all kind of diamonds and "bling" in his videos, we can't immediately assume that he was rich because of the success of his one album. Yes Mase did go quadruple platinum and IF he was able to pay back his label aka Puff Daddy he may have had a decent amount of money in his bank account. But in the game of music that's a big IF. Let us not forget that I previously mentioned how some of Mase's singles had some pretty well known samples in them. Keep in mind that all of that money that was paid out by the label for those sample rights have to be paid back by the artist. It's called recouping. Plus, don't about forget the videos, hope that you didn't expect the "shiny suit man" to pay for those suits. So basically, one of my theories is that after going 4x platinum Mase like most rappers probably thought that he was "ballin!" I'm sure that got him a much bigger advance check to hit the studio and work on the next album. Oh yeah and advances have to be paid back as well, so whatever he was advanced for the first album also had to be paid back. However, after those royalty checks began rolling in and the amount he was getting was cut up 5 and 6 ways I'm sure it was a shocker. So, the theory is that he quit because he wasn't seeing the money he expected or was probably promised and thought he could just quit just like that and be out of his contract. (Later we'll see that it doesn't quite work that way). As biggie himself said "that's why my money never funny And you still recoupin, stupid!!"

So, after about a year of retirement, most people (myself included) figured we were wrong about Mase coming back, and the rumors died down. We accepted that Mase was now Pastor Mason Betha and that Murder Mase was gone for good as he now dedicated his life to serving the Lord. Now personally after the first year I pretty much forgot all about Mase. If it weren't for the few reminders given by other rappers who threw Mase in their rhymes, I may have completely forgotten. For instance, Common stated "You better goin to God like Mase did" and Kanye West exclaimed "If you could feel how my face felt you would know how Mase felt." Other than that I personally had no second thoughts about Mase, his retirement and his new occupation as a Pastor. If that was his calling then who am I to say anything about it. God Bless him, his congregation, and his calling. Actually, I remember reading some magazine articles that had interviews with Puffy and he basically said the same thing and wished Mase his best. But as we know Business is never personal, so eventually even Diddy moved on focusing on other rap acts on the label, The Lox and Black Rob. Another determining factor in this decision was that Mase's 2nd album had done nothing close to it's anticipated numbers. I know there had to be one but I personally can't even recall a single from the Double Up album.

So there you have it Mase retires and goes on to serve the Lord, end of story right? Well needless to say, if that was the end of the story then there would be no point in me writing this blog. So of course not! My skepticism served me right to begin with. In 2004, after a five year hiatus from the rap game, Pastor Mase comes back to rapping. Mase's new single and album were ironically titled "Welcome Back." The song sampled the theme song from the 1970's television series "Welcome Back, Kotter." Well when I first heard the news, just like most of you I was somewhat shocked. Then I said to myself "I knew it!!" But finally I thought about why Mase said he originally left the rap game. He said that "the music business was incompatible with the way he wanted to live his life." So now I'm thinking how is rap music now compatible with his new found way of life? What had really changed in 5 years to make the game compatible? Well those questions were simply rhetorical because the answer was nothing had changed. And after hearing the single nothing had really changed about Mase's rapping either. Oh and before I forget to mention it, you better believe that the album was released on Bad Boy Records. As I mentioned before in my conspiracy theory, if Mase thought he was getting out of his contract he should have thought again. Yes five years later and P.Diddy is still waiting to collect on that contract he signed. Now back to the song, to me the beat/sample is what made the song more than anything. All Mase needed to do what come up with two 16 bar verses saying anything and he could have gotten the same response from me. Add a subpar chorus partially sung by Mase, some female and some exploited kids and there you have it a new single by Mase. The video had all the familiar faces from Bad Boy P.Diddy of course, Loon, Ness, Babs, and then Mase doing his signature dances in the video. Seems like the same old Mase right? Well not quite. Don't forget he's a Minister now so he's cleaned up his lyrics. "I'm just a bad boy gone clean, I'm the diamond chain choker, always remain sober don't drink liquor and all the games over." Also, he goes on to state "See I rep the most high, still I'm the most fly I win so much, they wanna know who I'm coached by." And finally, "I make my money man without the coca Livin' la vida without the loca." Wow could it really be that Mase had really changed and planned on bringing a new image to Hip Hop?



In an attempt to not judge Mase I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and not immediately call him a hypocrite for coming back to rap. I mean hey you listened to the lyrics he's changed so, maybe he would be a breath of fresh air to the Hip Hop game. I read some articles that had interviews with Mase and he discussed why he returned to the Rap Game. In fact, during an interview on http://www.askmen.com/ when specifically asked what compelled him to return to the industry Mase responded "I felt like I could be a huge asset to the hip-hop community. It is a genre where everybody is expressing themselves. I felt like I had something else to express that hasn't already been expressed." Also, he was asked how he reconciled doing music and being a minister he stated "What makes it so powerful is that I may not be the first one, but I am the first one doing it the way I am doing it. My situation is different than the ones previously. Most people go to God because they have to. Everything I have ever done is because I wanted to and not because I have to." Finally when asked what to expect on the new album Mase answered "What makes it similar is because I am pretty much talking about the same things, but what makes it different is that I am doing it from a different perspective and from a different mindset." I later heard that the new album would also have no cursing and also no misogynistic lyrics degrading women. Well that's definitely a change and a new Mase. So maybe his calling to God was the spawn of not only a change in Mase but a change in Hip Hop Music with Mase leading the way. As Mase himself stated in the 3rd person "After a soul stirring vision from God, [where I saw] Mase leading souls to hell, the ex-rapper now returns as Pastor Mason Betha, leading souls to Christ."

Well I never purchased or listened to any of the "Welcome Back" album except for the lead single. So, I can't tell you what was on the album nor can I judge it. However, as research shows the single and album did go gold. Well at some point during the promotion of the Welcome Back album I recall hearing rumors that Mase was signing to G-Unit. Yes that would be the same G-Unit that houses such acts as 50 Cent, Young Buck, Lloyd Banks, M.O.P., Mobb Deep, Tony Yayo, and formerly The Game. Now I'm sure you're thinking as I was when I heard this rumor. Why on earth would Pastor Mase be looking to sign to a record label such as G-Unit? Don't they go against everything that he now stood for when it comes to his music and lyrics? The answer is yes of course they do. However, at the time these were only rumors at best. That was until I got to hear a song entitled "300 Shots" which featured all of the artists on G-Unit including none other than (yep you guessed it) our very own Pastor Mase. Now when I heard these lyrics I was just as surprised as most of you were. From the onset Mase starts his verse "You know you messin' with a nigga that do this for a livin' Put two in the street while theres two in the kitchen Put guns in niggaz mouth like "Who's u dissin'?" We give for they knew who u was missin, nigga You can either have a gun at the chain, or one at the brain I have hoes back of the church, hummin' ya name. Even then I feel it's like cheat my men Watch God leave the sky to come and greet my men I pop niggas in the chest they never breathe again." O-M-G this just can't be!! Mase Is back to the old Murder Mase. Speechless yet? Well trust this is pure sarcasm because I definitely was not surprised one bit. I read in an interview from 50 Cent on http://www.vh1.com/ where 50 stated "The new Mase music is going to sound like the old Mase music — the real old Mase music, pre-Bad Boy, when he was named Mase Murda (or Murder Mase)." My question is what happen to the clean lyrics he sold us on when he returned to rapping? I would almost go as far as to call his lyrics blaphemous when he mentions "watch God leave the sky to come and greet my men." Especially when the next line says "I pop niggas in the chest they never breathe again." And we can't forget "I have hoes in the back of the church hummin' ya name." Well if these are the words of a reverand I need not go to church but simply pop in the latest G-Unit release to get my daily bread.


G-Unit - 300 Shots (Mase is 3rd to rap)

So let's quickly recap we go from Rapper to Pastor and back to Rapper. So is this the final chapter for Mase? Well I too assumed that it was. Although I hadn't heard any new material from Mase or G-Unit I didn't think too much of it especially since 50 Cent's "Curtis" album was the last to be released on the label. Well that was until recently during a late night of channel surfing I come across none other than Pastor Mase on tv preaching. Utterly appalled, I was so intrigued that I just had to watch and make sure this wasn't an old sermon that I was watching. So I sat watching Pastor Mase preach. Unfortunately, much like with Mase's music his preaching didn't move me much either. I couldn't help but to picture him as the preacher formerly known as Murder Mase trying to tell me and other's about God. I can't lie I also awaited for him to catch the Holy Ghost and do his signature 2-step. So, as I sat and watched for about 30 minutes it got to the end of the sermon and there I saw Mase and his wife telling people about their ministry and televangalizing. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to call the number on the screen and recite the lyrics from "300 Shots" and ask if this rang a bell? Well after I finished watching the program I called my brother and told him about it and he said he too had seen one of Mase's sermons recently. With that confirmed I guess Mase was back to preaching. So to total the score that would make it tied [Rapping-2 and Preaching-2]. I wonder if Vegas has odds on which will break the tie. But who knows what Mase will do next, maybe acting because he seems to play the role of a rapper turned preacher, turned rapper, turned preacher again pretty damn well.

I know in the end we are all God's children and that he has a purpose for all of us. I also know that we all backslide and fall short of his will. And you better believe I'll be the first to admit that I am no saint and have done my share of bad and good. But I would never take on the role of calling myself a preacher as Mase did and then not live up to what I was called upon to do. Although we all have a responsiblity to ourselves and one another, I feel like in the role of a preacher/minister it is a little greater responsiblity, in that you essentially bare some of the responsibility for the souls of others. So, the words and actions that you say and do are weighed much heavier than the average person. Therefore, I pray that this time Mase will stick with his decision to return to preaching and doing God's work from the Pulpit as opposed to his Murder Mase alter ego with a full clip. However, if you want to know my deep down honest opinion on it all well it rhymes with both full clip and pulpit.



C-Recks

When Thug's Cry...

Ever listen to a song that almost made you want to cry? Or a song that some how tugged at your emotions enough to actually make you shed a tear? I'm sure every one's answer is yes and can come up with a list of songs to fit this category. But have you ever listened to a Rap Song that caused you to get a bit emotional? Yeah it's going to take you a little longer to think of one that fits that category.

Given that the majority of rap music listeners are male it's probably hard for them to admit that a rap song may have touched their heart even a tad bit. But as an avid listener of hip hop music for over 23 years I racked my brain and was able to come up with my top 10 list of the most emotional Rap Songs. Now being a man I know it's hard to admit but if you can say that none of these songs ever touched your heart at some point in life when you heard them (not every time but at least once at least one of the songs) not even a little then I don't know what to say but you gotta be damn near heartless.

But anyways here we go with the countdown starting from 10 down to 1.

#10 Runaway Love- Ludacris Feat. Mary J. Blige

This is the most recent song on the top 10. However, Ludacris came with it on this song. The song basically tells 3 different stories of young girls and them going through different struggles. One in an abusive home, another becoming a victim of her gang infested environment, and the last dealing with teenage pregnancy. As if the lyrics don't already make you a bit emotional, Mary J. singing the hook only makes it that much more emotional. As you listen to this story you can almost visualize the tragedies these young girls are going through. "Now little Lisa's only 9 years old she's tryin to figure out why the world is so cold why she's all alone and aint never met her family mama's always gone and she never met her daddy." Ludacris also receives even more props given that this type of song was far from what you're used to from Luda. So Take that Bill O'Reilly!

#9 We'll Always Love Big Poppa - The Lox

Mar. 9, 1997. That's a date that most hip hop fans don't easily forget. It's when we lost one of our Hip Hop greats. The Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls aka Big Poppa. Given the tragic events that took his life at such a young age it was a shocker too the entire Rap World. However, This song by the Lox was not the only tribute to The Late Great Notorious. In fact Puff Daddy (at the time) now known as P.Diddy or Sean Jean had a song called "I'll be Missing You." But I tend to give a little more credibility to The Lox since it seemed like Diddy sort of used this song as a spring board to his solo career. But that's a totally different blog. Back to the Lox. They basically pay their respects to B.I.G. and give you a little history on BIG's Impact and their dealings with him though it was only for a short amount of time. "It make me look back,to where he took rap Dude brought the East back, y'all better believe that He never had a warning, One More Chance was right before him everybody must answer when God's callin."

R.I.P. Big Poppa, We'll always love you BIG!

#8 Dead Homiez - Ice Cube

Now most remember Ice Cube from his N.W.A. days and as a hard core Gangsta rapper. But even as hard core as Cube was back then he took the time to pen these lyrics to reminisce on lost friends. "He got a lot of flowers and a big wreath What good is that when you're six feet deep? I look at that shit and gotta think to myself And thank God for my health 'Cause nobody really ever know When it's gonna be they family on the front row." There are so many quotables on this song to even list without listing the whole song. But a few that come to mind are: "They say "Be Strong" and you're tryin' But how strong can you be when you see your Pops cryin'?" And "But no, I pay my respects and I'm through (whaddup Cube?) Hug my crew, and maybe shed a tear or two." Now a Gangsta Rapper crying, you can't get too much more emotional than that people.

#7 Brenda's Got a Baby - 2pac

I remember this was probably one of the first 2pac solo songs I ever heard. (Yeah those of you that don't know 2pac used to be in a group called Digital Underground Google it). But when I first heard Brenda's Got a Baby it hit me like damn! I mean the lyrics were so vivid and real you couldn't help but feel Pac. Plus it was so far on the other end of the spectrum from what he did with Digital Underground. On this song it was like you almost knew Brenda. He painted her as someone that could be anyone any of us knew. " I hear Brenda's got a baby, But Brenda's barely got a brain A damn shame The girl can hardly spell her name (That's not our problem, that's up to Brenda's family) Well let me show ya how it affects the whole community." This song was also unique because Pac just flowed continuously about Brenda way past the normal 16 bar verse. The chorus didn't come until the very end of the song. But if the intro wasn't enough to get you thinking by the time Pac hit you with this line later in the song I don't see how it didn't affect you. "He left her and she had the baby solo, she had it on the bathroom floor And didn't know so, she didn't know, what to throw away and what to keep She wrapped the baby up and threw him in the trash heep." And the video was even more vivid as we actually saw Brenda throwing her baby away. I'm sure once Pac saw the impact that songs like this had on people he began to throw at least one into each of his albums. (2 of which are on this list so keep reading). Unfortunately, there was no happy ending for Brenda as Pac concluded "Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby."

#6 Tha Cross Roads - Bone Thugs in Harmony

I remember when Bone's first album "Creepin On Ah Come Up" dropped it sparked a buzz for the anticipation of their second album "E. 1999 Eternal." I remember the original version of Cross Roads was just okay nothing major or to really keep your attention. But when Easy Mo B dropped this remix version to the song (which later became the video version) it blew Bone up to a level not even Eazy-E probably ever expected they'd reach. Bone had everyone singing/rapping the lyrics to the chorus "See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads So you won't be lonely, And I'm gonna miss everybody, I'm gonna miss everybody." Not to mention this was like the groups' dedication to Eazy-E their mentor and Label Owner, that had passed away from Aids just a few years prior. But I know for fact this was a song that had the hardest Thugs singing "I miss my uncle Charles."

(OK Half We're Way there ya'll...)

#5 I Miss You - DMX Feat. Faith Evans

The diary of DMX Which aired on MTV, I recall DMX going to perform this song and literally breaking down in tears on stage trying to get through the lyrics. At that point I had a much higher respect for this song and it's lyrics. In the song DMX is talking about his Grandmother which raised him. "Gran'ma, I really miss you and it ain't been the same I drop a tear when I hear ur name." I'm sure a lot of us can relate to being raised up by our grandmothers. So on this emotional tribute X even chooses to air out some of the family's dirty laundry. "But what I'm about to say a couple of family members gone hate me but I'm gonna let you know whut's been goin on lately you know since you left a lot of things bout your kids done changed." Along with assistance from Faith Evans on the chorus this is another that will definitely touch your heart.

#4 Dear Mama - 2pac

Now if this one hasn't gotten you at some point I'm speechless. Tupac Shakur Dear Mama had to have touched home with any and everybody and I'm sure still does. This came from Pac's 3rd album "Me Against the World." He was still keeping with putting a song with this theme on each of his albums so this was was no different. Pac essentially describes his relationship with his moms which wasn't always peaches and cream. But he's describing it in a way to where he's basically reconciling it through his lyrics. "I reminisce on the stress I caused, it was hell Huggin on my mama from a jail cell." Ironically during the time this song was release Pac was actually in jail serving a bid for an attempted rape charge. Not saying he was guilty or innocent because I don't know. But a song like this was perfect to drop and smooth over his image. I recall the video which he wasn't even able to be in but his moms was and she made the video come to life even more. If you recall the Hook used an interpolation of the "Sweet Sadie" by the Spinners which was already an emotional song itself back in the day. But with all these factors put together it made this song even more emotional. And with lyrics like "even as a crack fiend mama you always was a black queen mama," I'm sure we'll be hearing this song played for years to come and not just on Mother's Day.

Shout out to my moms while we're on the subject.

#3 All that I got is you - Ghostface Feat. Mary J. Blige

Ghostface was always a story teller. I would actually dare to put ghost up there with Slick Rick when it comes to story telling. When I first heard this song I was able to instantly invision the struggles he and his family went through growing up. And it had me thanking God my struggles weren't this bad. "Family aint family no more, we used to play ball after school eat grits cause we were poor grab the pliers for the channel fix the hanger on the tv rockin each others pants to school wasn't easy..." and "15 of us in a 3 bedroom apartment roaches everywhere cousins and aunts was there, for in the bed, 2 at the foot, 2 at the head, I didn't like to sleep with jon-jon he peed the bed," and "Mommy where's the toilet paper use the newspaper." Again Mary J lends her soulful vocals over the Jackson 5 sampled beat. And ghost leaves us with with a deep question to comptemplate "I ask myself was I meant to be here...why?"

#2 Keep Ya Head up - 2pac

As previously mentioned in writing about Brenda's Got a Baby (#7 on the list) and Dear Mama (#4 on the list), 2pac definitely knew songs that packed an emotional punch went over well with his fans. This song was 1 of 2 memorable songs on 2pac's "Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z." album (I Get Around being the other). But Pac definitely made it known at the beginning of the song that who his target market was. "I give a shout out to my sistas on welfare 2pac cares if don't nobody else care." Pac goes on to state "you it makes me unhappy (what's that?) when brothers make babies and leave a young mother to be a pappy, And since we all came from a woman got our name from a woman and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women do we hate our women?" Ironically, Pac would later be sentenced to jail for attempted rape charges (As mentioned in song #4). The song used a familiar chorus from The Five Stair Step's "Oooh Child." This only added to the emotional effectiveness of the song. But with this song Pac was spoke the truth he even got political with lines like "You know it's funny when it rains it pours they got money for war but can't feed the poor Say there's no hope for the youth but the truth is it aint no hope for the future." On a side note the war he spoke of was the first coming of George Bush not the present day version. But I'm sure if Pac was still around he'd have much to say about George Bush #2 also. All in all Keep Ya Head Up remains an anthem of motivation that continues to uplift long after Pac has passed as I'm sure Pac originally intended.

Okay Finally we're Down to the #1 song the moment you've been waiting for
(Drum Roll Sounds...)

#1 Retrospect for Life - Common Feat. Lauren Hill

When I first heard this song I remember just thinking man this is a deep song. But it wasn't til I was older and actually had a child that the impact of such a song really hit me. More recently, I recall the possibility of someone close to me being pregnant. Of course with all the options including abortion being discussed this song and the lyrics immediately entered my head. "Knowing you're the best part of life do I have the right to take yours cause I created you irresponsibly subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of the start of something I'm not ready to bring into this world." Common takes on a subject never before mentioned in the history of rap music. He takes you through his mind state while wrestling with the decision. In verse one he's actually talking to the child that never came to be. "I look at your mother's stomach wondering if you're a boy or a girl, turnin this woman's womb into a tomb." He even breaks down to apologizing to the child stating, "instead I lead you to death, I'm sorry for taking your first breath first step and first cry." He then attempts to explain his actions but doesn't even attempt to make excuses by immediately taking full responsibility. "But I wasn't prepared mentally or financially having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me plus I wanted you to be raised within a family." In verse 2 common is speaking to the woman about the situation. "Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself you had our child in you I'll probably never feel what you felt but you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are through our trials and tribulations child's elimination." And in today's times of baby mamas being acceptable Comm begs to differ stating "we talkin spending the rest of our lives it's too many black women that can say they mothers but can't say that they wives. I wouldn't choose any other to mother my understanding but I want our parenthood to come from planning." The completion of the full emotion of the song was Lauren Hill singing the chorus. I remember reading that she and Comm had both recently had children when they collaborated on this song, making it even more fitting. Honestly, I was back and forth on if this song would be #1 or #2 even up until writing this. But after listening to the song again and reading the lyrics it's no doubt that Common has the #1 emotional rap song. Whether you've had a child before, had to face the difficult decision of abortion or just listen to the song overall you'll feel have to agree that this is a song that will definitely get directly to your emotions.

Well there you have it my Top 10 emotional Rap songs. Just as an observation it seems the formula for these type songs is this. Take a touching topic (i.e. moms, lost loved ones) write some deep lyrics and top it off with a chorus sung by an R&B singer = An Emotional hit. However, Only few have been able to pull it off and they definitely deserve credit for doing so. Lastly are a few honorable mentions are below.

Be A Father to Your Child - Ed OG and the Bulldogs

The Message - Dr. Dre Feat. Mary J. Blige

We Survive - Talib Kweli

C-Recks