A Fighting Chance

I will admit that I'm far from a fighter. In fact, if I told the number of fights I've been in during my 29 years of life it may be a little embarrassing. LoL. However, there are those times when you may hear a particular song and it just some how puts you in a mood. It just does something too you. Whether you're in a club a lil tipsy, driving in your car or just vibing to yourself on your Ipod. You don't even have to be mad, upset or even irritated (however if you are any of the above this type of song will only intensify those emotions) to get this feeling. That song will put you in a mood to do what my brother and I have commonly referred to KAMO or Knock A Mufucka Out! So since we haven't done a top 10 in a while here are our top 10 KAMO songs.

#10-LL Cool J- Momma Said Knock You Out


Gotta take you back to the old school here. I remember this beat coming on and shadow boxing with a towel on my head like LL. I don't know who I was preparing to KTFO (perhaps my brother for some infraction. lol) but LL definitely got me hype to do so. I still don't know why his momma was telling him to knock people out but hey if momma said it you better do it. lol.

#9-DJ Khaled - Go Hard Featuring Kanye West & T-Pain


Between this beat, T-pain with that funny voice shit and Kanye Snapping on the lyrics you can't help but to go hard. Oh can't forget DJ Khaled's Ass yelling over the beat as always. "We The Best!" Definitely puts you in the mood to go hard!!

#8-Ludacris-Move Bitch Feat. Mystikal

This may be the Road Rage Anthem here but it's still applicable. Soon as you hear those horns at the beginning tell me you're not bobbing your head and ready to push someone out of your way.

#7-Tupac-My Ambitionz Az a Ridah


"I won't deny it I'm a straight ridah you don't want to f**k wit me" Man this is honestly one of my favorite Pac songs right here. You can even hear the ring announcer in the beginning "Get Ready to Rumble." So you already know what's going down once you cut this song on. Don't ask which one, but I think there was a Mike Tyson fight where he actually came out into the ring with this playing.

#6-The Lox-Wild Out!


The Lox fresh off Bad Boy Records making Shiny Suit music what else was there for them to do but Wild Out!! I was surprised that The Lox could even come this hard when I first heard the song I had a new found respect for the trio. The song gave you specific instructions too. "If a nigga step on ya goddamn shoes! Wild Out!!" This was definitely a no-nonsense song and let you know the smallest thing could cause one to wild out!!


#5- Brooke Valentine - Girl Fight Feat. Lil' Jon & Big Boi

This song itself was so so for me. But the reason it made it to the #5 spot for us is simple. What guy doesn't enjoy a good girl fight? Lol. Of course it's always for the wrong reasons but it's the truth. So why not give the ladies their own anthem too? Assistance from Lil' Jon and Big Boi complete this record giving it KAMO status.

#4-I-20 - Fighting in the Club Feat. Chingy, lil Fate, & Titi Boi


The title alone tells you what it's all about. Fighting in the Club. We pretty much can sum this song up as hard lyrics over a hard beat prompting you to start unnecessary ruckus in the club. Add that to some grimy niggaz fueled by alcohol and the title of the song is what you get. I loved how in the video they were the ones causing the fights to start yet the fighting parties had no clue. LoL.


#3-Rocky Theme-Eye of the Tiger



The other songs were all Hip-Hop, but way before Luda, Lil' Jon, 2pac, The Lox, or even Mike Tyson ever made it big this song had all of America getting hype ready for their next fight. Yes Rocky Balboa the people's champ, the underdog had this wonderful theme song. To this day if you throw on this song it's gone put you in Rocky mode ready to go to battle in the ring. Either that or run up a bunch of damn steps.

#2- Lil' Jon - Damn Near Any song (Bia Bia, I don't give a F_k)




I know Lil' Jon & the Eastside boys are considered the Kings of Krunk, but he really should be the King of KAMO! I mean damn near any Lil' Jon song you play is gone get you up out your seat and ready to fight someone. Even on the "Love" song he did with Usher the nigga was still yelling. Honestly, you didn't know if you wanted to beat it up to the song or beat her up. LoL. But for the most of his songs between the Krunk hard hitting beats and Lil' Jon yelling What!?! over the damn track what more motivation do you need. Above are 2 of his classic KAMO songs.

#1-Bone Crusher-Neva Scared! Feat. Killer Mike & T.I.


I'm sure you were all waiting for this one. But it had to go at #1. Although Bone Crusher has since fallen off, his debut song had everyone in the club ready to fight anyone that even bumped into them. The saying "I aint neva Scared" was added to everyone's vocabulary. The menacing beat along with the taunting lyrics from Bone, TI and Killer Mike placed this song forever #1 KAMO song. LoL @ "What's my name is Shawty!!"

--C-Recks--
--Driza Dre--

101st Post: Humble Beginnings

Well we made it to our 100th post y'all. Honestly we didn't think we would make it to this mark this soon, but we're here. The funniest thing about this whole blog is that the idea for it just started out from us constantly talking. We probably talk and or communicate in one way or another on a daily basis. Whether it be on the phone, through text messages, Instant messenger, or those few and far between occasions we get to kick it in person. But regardless of how we communicate, we are going to express an opinion on something at some point. And one day the idea was thrown out to start a blog. We were both reluctant because we didn't want to just be talking about our daily and sometimes mundane lives. Not that there is anything wrong with that because many of the blogs about people's daily occurrences that I've read are extremely interesting and addicting enough to keep me coming back. So, as we were talking one day about some subject and expressing our perspective it just dawned on us. "This should be the blog!"

Well with those 5 words, this blog was birthed. We've come a long way; from having barely knowing how to work this blogger, to having no readers and or followers, to where we are today. We appreciate everyone that takes the time to stop by and read and leave comments, especially those that were readers from day one. For those who haven't had a chance to explore our archives, we'll soon be posting some of our older blogs on "Throw Back Thursdays." But we hope to have the privilege of doing 100 more posts in the near future.

So, we were trying to come up with something special for this 101st post. Well we couldn't. LoL. Therefore, we just decided to let you guys have a peak of how some of our conversations tend to go. That way you'll get a general idea of exactly why we chose to write this blog. Here are some back and forth text messages between us. They are not all from the same day, nor in any kind of order. They are simply how we talk. Someone will start a conversation about a subject, then we'll both speak our piece and that'll be it. Most are usually longer and more drawn out than these, but these are a few shorter example. Please pay attention to the randomness and craziness of some of the texts. ____________________________________________________________________

Dre: Man, when I get on Jeopardy, my goal is just to make it to Final Jeopardy. It's gotta be embarrassing as hell when Alex kicks you off the show. LoL

C-R: Hell yeah, even worse than that would be to answer the Final Jeopardy question, get it right, but forgot to write it in question form.

____________________________________________________________________

C-R: I'm watching House of Payne. You know I can't stand this show but when I heard strippers and bachelor party in the opening scene I was pulled in. lol.

Dre: That's all it ever takes.

C-R: Man if I ever get married again don't listen to me when I say I don't want or can't have a bachelor party. Just do the damn thing and don't tell no one. lol

Dre: Man other than not holdin it down, ya boy held you down. lol.

C-R: No doubt that was my first strip club experience. So you definitely held me down.

____________________________________________________________________

Dre: Man I forgot that nigga Scottie Pippen was on the Olympic Team. That nigga was ridin Mike's coat tails worse than Banya was riding Jerry's.

C-R: Lmao. Hell yeah I forgot about that too. The nigga was 4 Real. He was exposed once Mike retired.

Dre: Man he owe everything to Mike. If he getting any P, he need to immediately call Mike and say thank you.

C-R: Lmao. Man hell yeah. You aint neva lied. "If a nickel bag is sold in Harlem I want in." lol

Dre: Exactly. LoL

___________________________________________________________________

C-R: How soon do you think it will be before a rapper uses a metaphor about Plaxico Burress in they lyrics? LoL.

Dre: Shit, I'm gone use it. lol.

C-R: Lol you mean in a blog? I can hear Ludacris now... I fill up like Texaco/ when giving sex to hoes/I'm next to blow/ so shoot ya self like Plaxico... Lmao

Dre: Lmao, Nice. Yeah in a blog.

C-R: Lol. Yeah I gotta hear yo take on this one.

____________________________________________________________________

Brothers' Perspective

--DrizaDre--

--C-Recks--

No Butts About It

I was listening to the radio yesterday and they happen to play a throw back song. Now I'm an avid Hip Hop listener. But some of this new stuff today I can't even categorize as Hip Hop (Soulja Boy we still got unfinished business). So when I hear a classic song it just takes me back to an era when the music was pure. Well on this particular day I heard the beat come on I thought oh hell no it can't be!! Then I heard the talking at the beginning of the intro and I simply had to laugh as I could envision the video in my head. And as soon as it finished I heard the rapper begin the verse with four words which right away told what the rest of the rest of the song would be talking about. Anyone from my era remembers these four famous words...

"I Like Big Butts..."

I'm sure that's all I had to say and most of you were probably able to fill in the rest of the lyrics probably up until the hook. LoL. But in 1992 when Sir-Mix-A-Lot released "Baby Got Back" he probably never imagined the impact this song would have. I'm sure long before 1992 men (especially black men) had been admiring women's rear ends. But he brought to light something that was obviously on a lot of men's minds but they weren't bold enough to say. Let alone bold enough to write a whole song about it.

Well I was only 12 back in 1992. And as appealing as the video (which was banned by MTV for a short time) for "Baby Got Back" was I had really just gotten into the full mode of liking and pursuing girls. My brother and I used to joke about certain girls belonging to what we considered the BBC (Big Booty Club), but unlike some 12-14 year old girls now a days none of the girls at our school really had this "round thing" that Mix-A-Lot mentioned. Well it wasn't until I moved back to Chicago in 1994 and started High School that what Mix-A-Lot spoke of came more into focus. It was during that High School career that I learned a new term to describe a woman's physique. This term was "Thick." Perhaps it was new to me because I had never heard the term while in California.

The problem I had with the term "Thick" back then, which has gotten worse now is that there was no real criteria for someone to be classified or classify themselves as thick. My assumption of what thick meant was that you maybe had a little extra weight in the areas of the thighs, and booty. For those of us men that don't always go for the skinny model type females this is very appealing. Giving us something extra to... well you get the point. Just think of the term "more cushion for the pushin." However, I think the term thick somehow began getting misused. No offense to anyone, but some women began referring to themselves as "Thick" but were in fact a little or sometimes even a lot more than thick. But regardless, the fact is that thin is definitely no longer in. I can't count how many times I've heard or seen females that are slim or thin saying they're trying to get thick. Or they want a booty. I remember when my cousin moved from Chicago down to Atlanta. She was as slim as can be hence why we put the [Lil'] in front of her name. Well within a couple of years she was no longer the skinny young girl we all knew she had indeed gotten a bit thick. Could be that down south food I'm not sure but if you go down south you will definitely see ass for days and cheeks for weeks. LoL.

Now typically the thickness and the big "sometimes ghetto" booties are seen on black women. That was until a new phenomenon (as rapper Ludacris referred to it) occurred. And some how White girls even started getting these booties. Black men had no clue what was occurring was it something in the water or what? I remember when most white women suffered from the Nassatall (No Ass At All) disease. But my brother and I think that we figured out what it is though. Yep you can find one in just about every suburb and city. It's tasty goodness is just as addictive as crack. Yes the beloved Starbucks is our theory as to why white girls are getting thicker. Think about it, they are the main consumers of Starbucks, they probably drink it at least daily or possibly more. They hang out at the stores with their laptops sipping they're Caramel Macchiato Grande size in a Venti Cup with extra whip cream (yeah that's the only thing I've drank from there before and it's damn good I must admit). But usually white guys aren't attracted to big butts. So who are the white girls trying to attract? Hmmm? You be the judge: conspiracy theory or true fact? Check out ya girl Kim Kardashian. LoL.

(Starbucks in hand)

(With her Black man [Reggie Bush])

Well my brother recently told me that a white girl asked him this question? "Why do black guys like Big Butts?" This prompted a short discussion between him and I about this topic. We both agreed that in our opinion although big butts are great, they're not the end all to be all. We much prefer that a female's body simply be well proportioned. Basically if you're a slimmer female and really have no booty there is nothing wrong with that as your booty matches your body type. But to be extra slim but then have a humongous booty is just a little disproportionate. The opposite also holds true. Now I know E-40 mentioned the booty big enough to sit a cup on in the Lil' Jon song "Snap Yo Fingaz;" however, I can hold my own cup thank you very much. LoL.

So really, what is the draw?

We all know that men are visual creatures where as women are more turned on in the mental. So any man (black man especially)would be lying if he didn't admit that a big butt is nice to look at. Also, he'd be lying if he says he doesn't check out women's butts. In fact it's probably the opposite he probably doesn't miss an opportunity to get a glimpse as a female walks past. Just waiting for that opportunity to do like Craig and Smokey looking at Mrs. Parker in Friday "Daaaaamn!" LoL. The sad thing is that some men feel that even if the woman's face and or appearance aren't too appealing that as long as they are thick and or have a big butt that it can make up for the fact that they aren't attractive in the face. Now I may offend some men and possibly have a lynch mob waiting on my after I say this next statement, but I have to be honest. Although they have some of the biggest butts in in the business, Buffy the Body and Deelishis (Flavor of Love) both fit into this category. They are not the best of lookers. So I'm sorry me personally, I'll take a pretty face and little to no booty any day over an ugly or unattractive face and a huge butt. If I can barely stand to look you in your face what's the point? Am I just going to just talk to exclusively to your booty? Can I have an intelligent conversation with your booty? Do we sleep head to foot and I get to wake up looking at your booty instead of your face? When we get married will the minister say I now pronounce you man and booty, then I unveil the booty revealing a nice lil' thong? I know I'm getting a little extreme but you basically get the gist of what I'm saying.

(Buffy the Body)

(Deelishis)

Well the bottom line is that all women are beautiful in their own regards. But there is no real explanation or reason as to why men [especially black men] like big butts. You can try to be theoretical and go back to ancient African civilizations and say it has something to do with a woman's child bearing ability. Or you can simply say men are horny freaks and their admiration of big butts is simply proof of that. Either way neither explanation will change the fact that at the end of the day if a woman walks past with a big butt that a man will break his neck to get just the slightest glimpse of what kind of junk she has in her trunk. Also, it won't stop him from picking up the latest issue of King Magazine. And if you have never seen an issue, lets just say men aren't buying them to read the articles. Although I'm sure there is pure journalism excellence inside each issue.

--C-Recks--

A Penny For My Thoughts

I've once again had some things on my mind and I've felt the need to share them with you. Lucky for you the price hasn't changed yet. But times are hard so don't be mad if it's a nickel for my thoughts pretty soon. LoL. But again this will be an on-going topic so look for more to come. And remember my unique perspectives on things are usually a little more twisted the the average. LoL. But with no further ado I bring to you...A penny for my thoughts...

"Just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen." - Jay-Z

I once saw 2 handicapped guys in wheel chairs in an Atlanta, Ga strip club. Now I have nothing against the handicap at all. In fact, I never even knew these 2 guys were handicapped at first. When we first got in and sat at a table they were behind us also at a table. It just looked as if they were sitting at a table. It wasn't until they paid for lap dances that I noticed these guys are handicapped. I believe that I made the comment to my brother "I guess a lap dance would be the only kind of dance they could get so why not." Now I'm never hating at all on anyone especially the handicapped. However, I don't know if these guys were regulars or what but they seemed to get all the love in the strip club. So, not only did they get the parking spaces in the front but the most strip club love. And while the emcee was steady calling all the guys out that were not tipping of course they didn't get called out. And I didn't see them go up there and tip one time. But as they left I was waiting for the d.j. to play the songs "Roll Out" or "Stand Up" by Ludacris. LoL. What? Naw see I was just saying that because you know Luda is from Atlanta. LoL.

Where is this little boys parents? We've all seen him on stickers placed on the back of someone's car window. In the sticker he's usually peeing on something. I've seen him peeing on everything from a car emblem, to sports teams, to the name of Osama Bin Laden. Now my question is why in the hell haven't his parents thought him to pee in a toilet yet? I'm definitely not advocating beating other people's kids because lord knows if someone touches mine it's on. However, if I caught this kid pissing in public I'd have to pull my belt off and hand him more than a few deserved licks. But for peeing on this 4 more years I would actually let him get a pass. LoL

Speaking of peeing. Has anyone ever watched the TV show Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel before? Well if you haven't seen the show the basic premise is that viewers write in and come up with dirty jobs and the host of the show Mike Rowe goes and does the job while being filmed on camera. Well over the Holiday weekend I was exposed to something that I feel should be on this show. So here you go Mike Rowe. Who in the hell has the horrible job of cleaning Port-O-Potties? And how much do they make? I don't care if you gave me a fire hose and paid me $100/hour I just couldn't do it. My bladder can be about to explode and some of these things I still wouldn't go in to use. My son put it best. I once took him into a port-o-potty to pee when he was probably only 3 years old. As soon as we walked in and he said "that's just disgusting!!"

Speaking of jobs. There's one job I would say has to be one of the easiest highest paying jobs ever. If you've driven through any highway construction zone then you've seen someone holding this sign that says slow. Now for some reason usually the person holding the sign is a woman. I'm not insinuating anything by that statement I'm just stating the facts. But besides having to stand for long periods of time, maybe having to endure extreme temperatures and the danger factor of possibly being hit this is not a hard job at all. Especially when they're probably making $35-50 an hour to hold that sign. I mean besides the extreme temperatures your average gas station clerk endures the same things for about $7 an hour. They have to stand all day and they can get robbed at any point. I mean I've seen instances where I guess the sign holder was on break and the sign was just stuck in the ground. Now if you can just replace someone's job by putting the sign in the ground that goes to show you that it's not really a required position. I'm just saying.

Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be sort of a stickler for grammar. Although I make mistakes in spelling at times (you may have caught some in previous blogs) and I talk in slang a lot, for the most part I try to speak correctly. Depending on the setting it can actually annoy me when someone isn't speaking proper English. One of those settings for me is at work. When I'm at work I have to put on my professional hat and speak professionally when I'm on the phone with a customer. Outside of work you'll hear me speaking slang, cursing, you name it. Well a few weeks ago my co-worker was on the phone with a customer. The customer (I could tell from her voice and grammar) happen to be a black woman. The customer had a discrepancy with her account balance and as my co-worker was trying to explain it to the customer she started to get loud and ignorant. Gotta Love my black people. Well it was at the end of the day on a Friday so my co-worker put the lady on speaker phone just so we all could hear her going off. Now I've heard it all said when it comes to bad grammar. However, this lady said a word that I had yet to hear before. She said and I quote "Nuh uhn Lady!! I'm not paying no $7000 the MORE-EST I'm paying is $5000." My ears perked up as soon as I heard it and I tapped my other co-worker (She's black) that was standing next to me listening. I said "Did she just say the more-est?" Not the most but the "more-est?" My co-worker was already laughing but as soon as I said that she busted up laughing and ran out the room so she wouldn't be damn near on the floor. But I guess the customer was pretty damn adamant she wasn't paying the 7.

Speaking of black women. I love ya'll by the way. Shout out to all the black women. LoL. But I recently thought of something. You know how they tell men that the best way to know how a woman will look when she gets old is to look at her mother? Well I have another rule that's along those same lines. Do you want to know how a black woman will look most of the time behind closed doors especially at night before bed time (you know at the hour you may be feeling a little frisky)? Well all you have to do is walk up to that fine black sista whether it be in the club or wherever and ask her to kindly... put on her head scarf. Yep I said it. You know that lovely silk scarf that they put on at night to wrap their hair up. All I can say is if she still looks fine to you in the head scarf then you now know what you'll be in for probably 6 out of 7 nights of the week. If a black woman has enough hair to put a comb through then 9 times out of 10 she wears one of these to bed. Underneath her hair will be wrapped up in a cone head style. The purpose is to eliminate them having to redo their whole head in the morning when they wake up. It's just one of those rules they have like "never going swimming." They'll dip their feet in the water but actually swimming head under the water style nope it's a rarity to see. I didn't watch the but did anyone see any black women on the U.S. Swim team in this year's Olympics? LoL.

I'm not sure who came up with this bright idea but have you ever heard of or seen someone with permanent makeup? Well there are people that get their eyebrows tattooed on in the arch of their choice. This way they never have to get their eyebrows arched. I guess they simply shave them off when they grow. But my thing is this why would you want to risk someone messing up on your tattooed eyebrows. I mean if they're doing the arch and they sneeze or something they may have you looking surprised for the rest of your life. LoL. I believe this works for lipstick as well. So you can get your favorite lipstick color tattooed on your lips permanently. Again, it doesn't make sense if the color you get is red why would you want to be stuck with that one color all your life? I guess you can put another color on top of the red but won't certain colors mixed together make other colors? Didn't we learn in grade school how red + blue = purple? LoL

Alright that's all I got that's another $.07 cents you owe me. The total would be $0.17 cents. Don't forget to tip if you were at all entertained. LoL

--C-Recks--

I Now Denounce You Man and Black!

For the brothas and sistas reading this, you'll feel me. To those of you from other races, this may be a little insight into the inner workings of how some black people feel. Sit back, relax, and try to keep an open mind.

Is anyone else concerned about the amount of backtracking Barack Obama is having to do. Well, maybe backtracking is not a strong enough word. Denouncing is what the media is calling it. I choose to say its more white washing. Since Barack became a strong candidate for President, around February, left and right it seems like Barack is having to somewhere apologize for or justify his connection to something. At this rate, Barack will have to denounce the fact that he's a black man by election day. (Hence the title of this blog).

It all started with Jeremiah Wright, his controversial pastor. Now, I have to admit that I'd heard of Trinity United Church of Christ long before this controversy. I knew a few individuals that were members there, but I myself have never attended. Personally I knew those particular individuals had a very benign opinion of Jesus Christ, and I could only imagine what kind of church they would be willing to attend. So it was no surprise when I was listening to the Sean Hannity show this past November or December, and he played some audio of the pastor's sermons. I listened to the audio and thought to myself, hmmm, this isn't good. Not what the pastor said. (Hell as black people we might not necessarily agree with Jeremiah Wright on everything, but as a black man who's lived on the Earth 50 plus years, we definitely respect his right to say it). Instead I was thinking, this isn't good for Barack.

Now things didn't immediately blow up about the issue. Instead, the Jeremiah Wright fiasco was brought up once Barack seemed to be making some headway against Ms. Hillary. I believe the best way to describe it is as a firestorm! Now prior to this firestorm erupting, Barack's camp was more or less silent on the issue. Well, no longer was that a possibility. Barack became very vocal on the issue. First he and wife officially withdrew as members of Trinity. The controversy culminated in him giving what was hailed as Obama's speech on race.

Obama came through the whole fiasco relatively unscathed. Sure, it cost him decisive defeats in Pennsylvania, and West Virginia, but at that point, those defeats were marginal at best. However, the most important thing that we discovered is that when the going gets tough, Barack will distance himself from the tough. Now that may have been his toughest test, but it certainly wouldn't be his last.

At a fundraiser in July, Obama had fellow Chicagoan Bernie Mack speak. During a brief routine, Bernie Mack told a joke that caused some nervous laughter, and even more booing and calls for Mack to leave the stage in lieu of the person they were there to honor in Barack. Mack's joke spoke of explaining the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question to his nephew. To demonstrate, he tells the nephew to go ask his mother if she would make love to the mailman for $50,000. The mother says she would make love to the mailman and anybody else for $50,000. He tells the nephew to go ask his sister if she would make love with her neighbor for $50,000. She says she would make love with the neighbor and anybody else for $50,000. So he tells the nephew: “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hoes,” Bernie Mac said.

Now I don't know about you, but I found the joke to be funny. Call it a crazy sense of humor, but I heard Bernie's voice in my head, and couldn't stop laughing. Well I guess Barack didn't find it as funny. Upon taking the stage, Barack told the crowd that unity was essential in the Democratic Party. He said it should not be divided by race, religion, region, class or gender. "That means, by the way, Bernie, you got to clean up your act. This is a family affair.” I would consider that denouncement number two.

Well you should know where I'm going next. What's more offensive than black comedy? Of course, rap music. Now Nas has a new album out. One of its hottest tracks is inspired by the potential presidency of Barack Obama. "Black President" samples Tupac's quote in Wonder if Heaven got a ghetto. "And though it seems heaven sent, we ain't ready to have a black president".

Barack has been mentioned in a few other rap songs. Common, Will I am of the Black Eyed Peas, and Jay-Z have all mentioned Barack in various songs. Without much fanfare. But again a firestorm, this time on a smaller scale, erupted when what seemed like a freestyle by Ludacris hit the Internet.

Well, in what's become typical Barack fashion, his camp quickly moved to distance himself from the slightest appearance of approval of such behavior. A spokesperson for the politician says, "As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism and degrading images that he doesn't want his daughters or any children exposed to. This song is not only outrageously offensive to Senator Clinton, Reverend Jackson, Senator McCain and President Bush, it is offensive to all of us who are trying to raise our children with the values we hold dear. While Ludacris is a talented individual, he should be ashamed of these lyrics."

As a true fan of hip-hop, Luda snapped. Were his lyrics patently offensive, to Senator Clinton, Jesse Jackson, Senator McCain and President Bush, perhaps. Was I offended? No. Hell, Luda said some of the things that I've been wanting to say in this very same blog. (Don't worry Jesse, I haven't forgotten about you. Another day, another time). Should you be offended by hearing Ludacris' rhyme? Well to each his own, but the problem I have with denouncement number three is that Barack seems to neglect the fact that a large segment of his support is coming from the youth. In advance of the Pennsylvania primary it is stated that 70% of the 218,923 new registered voters were between the ages of 18 and 35.

http://thehiphopcosign.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/pennsylvania-youth-voter-registration-increased-over-70-in-2008-national-hip-hop-team-vote-summit-in-philadelphia-makes-an-impact/

With so many individuals falling within that 18-35 demographic, you have no choice but to label them the Hip-hop generation. So why would Barack more or less spit in the eyes of some of his staunchest supporters? A better question is, are we gonna let him get away with it? Unfortunately the answer is "Hell Yeah"! And he knows that. The prospect of having a black president is so overwhelming in the eyes of most of us that Barack could announce that slavery would be back in effect the minute he took office, and I'd bet you that at least 25% of black people would still vote for him. They'd say "oh he's just using reverse psychology to trick white people into voting for him". (Let's keep it real, any black person who would still vote for him at that point probably has no clue of what reverse psychology is).

With all this denouncing that Barack has been doing, let me do some denouncing of my own. (On his behalf of course). As unofficial spokesman for the Barack Obama for President campaign, I would like to denounce the following:




I denounce Lil Wayne - Sometimes you display skill. But please stop referring to yourself as the greatest. (That is unless you're saying you're the greatest from Louisiana. That would make you akin to a gold medalist at the special Olympics).






I denounce the people who are still driving around with spinning hubcaps - It was never an acceptable fashion statement. However, 3 years after the apex of the spinning rim revolution, you just look ridiculous. As my cousin LaTressa would say "Stop The Madness"!






I denounce anyone remotely associated with the movie Snakes on a Plane - From Samuel L. Jackson down to the guy who brought coffee to the director. If it were possible, I'd like to revoke your citizenships. The worst movie ever made. Period!

I denounce cut buddies who catch feelings - If two people hook up on a sexual level, sometimes that's all it is. I know it sounds harsh, but if you desire more than that, establish it up front. Allow the other person to decide if they want to go there with you. Anything after that is patently unfair.

I've only run for one political office. I ran for vice-president of the student body when I was in the eighth grade. I Lost! I like to believe that I only lost by a few votes. (I hope it wasn't a landslide. Even worse, I hope that myself and my brother weren't the only two votes that I received. You did vote for me right Cor?). That being said, I comprehend the concept of pandering. I also understand the more important concept of staying true to one's self. Barack, keep it real man. I know that when you heard Jeremiah Wright preach, a portion of what the man said resonated within you. When you heard Bernie Mack's joke, you probably laughed yourself. And being that you are a fan of Ludacris', you yourself bobbed your head to the beat when you heard his freestyle. Stop being a politician. Understand that what people appreciate about you is that you're not the average politician. Keep it real. I know you want to win the election. But as Cee-lo said "I'd rather struggle on my feet than to live on my knees". Words to live by man. Because if you do lose, remember, you have to come back to the hood. Wouldn't you like our respect when you get there?


-DrizaDre

P.S. In case you do win. You need to begin preparing white people for the fact that niggas are gonna act a fool. The local championship celebration is gonna look like a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese by comparison. Just a word of advice. You already know the "first black president" is gonna get blamed for everything. Let white people know that this one is beyond your ability to control. Either that or just blame it on Bush. He technically will still be the president. lol

Hand Solo

We've all thought it at some point, Hell some of you bold individuals have even done it before. But this thought can be directed at a number of people, whether it is at your kids, your boss (or Stupidvisor as my Grandfather commonly referred to them), your friend, your significant other, the grocery clerk, your co-worker, the waiter/waitress, or the cashier at the fast food restaurant. Regardless of who it may have been, the fact that you thought this means that the person must have really done something ignorant, stupid, or upsetting. Or perhaps they did nothing at all and you simply don't like this person; therefore, you thought this way.

Well I'm sure you're probably in suspense thinking what is this thing that we have all thought at one point. Well that thought Ladies and Gentlemen, can be described in one word the "SLAP." Also, referred to as the "SMACK" or even the "Bitch Slap" and or "Pimp Slap." However, they all mean the same thing basically someone has or is about to catch a mouth shot.

Now if anyone knows me personally then they know I have a certain ring tone on my phone it's the song "Slap" by Ludacris. I'm not really a big ring tone person but I do keep this one on my phone. I particularly use this ring tone for my alarm in the morning. Why? Well the answer is simple I know that waking up each morning at some point in the day I'm going to just as the song says "Feel like slapping somebody today!!"

Ludacris "Slap"

Now you're probably thinking to yourself and scratching your head, wondering "have I ever wanted to smack or slap someone?" Without knowing anything about you I can easily answer the question. It's an overwhelming YES! In the opening I described some people you may have thought about slapping at one point. Now let me expand a little and describe a few incidents involving some of those individuals and then you tell me if you too wouldn't be thinking about slapping someone.




Incident 1: You get to work this morning and realize your co-worker has called off sick but you know damn well they weren't sick yesterday. So your boss calls you in the office and assigns all of your co-worker's work to you on top of your regular work load. Now tell me what would be going through your mind? Me, I'll keep it real I'd be thinking I could slap the hell out of my boss right now and I owe a slap to my co-worker when they get back to work tomorrow!!

Adam Sandler and David Hasselhoff in "Click"

Incident 2: It's your lunch break and you're starving so can't wait to eat the juicy burger you've had a taste for. You stop at your local fast food restaurant and order your # whatever off the drive through menu. You pull up to window 1 and pay for your food, then proceed to window 2 grab your bag of food and drink and rush back to work to eat. However, when you get to work and open your bag not only are your french fries cold but to add insult to injury there is a chicken sandwich instead of a burger in the bag. Now tell me what you would be thinking? It's okay you don't have to admit it yet. I'll keep it Real, I'd be thinking I should drive back up there and slap the drive through attendant with this damn chicken sandwich!!


Incident 3: You're having trouble with your cell phone, so you decide to call your cell phone provider with hopes that they can assist you with the problem. So you make the call, the automated menu alerts you that there will be a 10 minute wait for a representative. So your 10 minute wait actually turns into 30 minutes and you're frustrated and on edge already. However, when your call is finally connected with a live representative you get a foreigner and you can't understand a word they're saying. (No offense to any foreigners of course). So you spend another 30 minutes explaining and re-explaining your problem to this individual who even if they spoke perfect English still couldn't help you because they're incompetent to begin with. So finally, my question is what would you be thinking? Well maybe it's just me, but once again I'll keep it Real. I'd be thinking I wish I could reach through the phone and slap the hell out of the person on the other end!!

Now please keep in mind I'm in no way promoting or supporting violence towards your fellow man or woman. I'm simply stating what we all are thinking at times. I would hope that random slapping assaults don't rise due to this blog because that is truly not its purpose. The above incidents are just a few of probably hundreds that can occur within a given day. So we have to some how find a way to whooo sahhh!! and attempt to refrain from just hauling off and slapping the hell out of someone. Trust me I'm just a few hours into my morning and I've already refrained at least 2 times so far. Not to mention, I'm expecting to be up to at least 5 times before 5pm. Therefore, if someone did decide to slap someone today for any incidents such as above or worse I guess I would understand. However, the disclaimer above retracts any and all responsibility from myself or my brother. Also, I'm sure that somewhere in it's Terms of Use Google has also done the same thing. LoL.

So what is the fascination with the slap? What does it do for the person doing the slapping? Does it relieve some kind of stress? Or could it be the sound that the slap makes? I think although a slap is less painful than a punch, it still lets the person receiving the slap know you mean business. So if you want to still inflict some type of pain but not necessarily injury you'll use the slap. For instance, when a pimp wants to reprimand one of his hoes he'll use the "pimp slap." Why? I'm sure a punch to the face would get the point across just as easily. But let us not forget that punches usually leave bruises and that could hurt business I mean who wants a "date" with a bruised up prostitute. However, a slap will usually just sting a bit and perhaps leave the face red depending on the amount of melanin you have.

I personally think that the slap is more for the audience. I mean if you're about to get into an altercation with someone the last thing you will be trying to do is line up the perfect slap. No, instead you're trying to knock they ass out like Deebo on "Friday." So, basically if someone gets slapped in the midst they will usually feel some sort of humiliation. Usually, if a slap is or was involved it's the very first hit because no one is going to just stand by and take multiple slaps to the face. That's like well no pun intended but a "slap in the face." Now the main reason I really say the slap is for the audience is because more than anything the slap gets the most reaction out of crowd. Think about it, any fight I can remember witnessing back in school days started with a big circle and 2 individuals in the middle. Of course the shit talking takes up more time than the actual fight itself but what would a fight be without a little shit talking? But if you ever take the time to listen to the instigators in the crowd you'll hear this from at least one person. "Slap his ass!" or "Slap her ass!" And whenever the first slap comes its usually the last because the next hit will definitely be a punch. But trust me with that slap you'll hear "Lots of oooohs and Dayums." Think about any episode of Jerry Springer and you'll get the visual I'm depicting. However, even if the fight is lost or in cases of a draw the initial slapper could still be deemed as the winner of the fight just because of the slap he or she got in.

Now I don't claim to be a slap expert in anyway. In fact, I can't really recall ever slapping some one before. Although I do remember as a kid reciting lyrics to an Eric B. & Rakim song "I aint no Joke" where he states "you could get a smack for this." Well me, my brother, and cousin would say that then smack each other but beyond that I've never slapped anyone. But I would tend to think that more women use the slap than men. I guess a man slapping another man just isn't a manly thing to do. In fact, in the Dave Chappelle skit with Rick James Charlie Murphy stated this about Rick James slapping him (As depicted towards the beginning of this blog). "First of all, you don't slap a man. Ok. I mean, even when slapping was fashionable, ya know, they did it in Paris, some guy would come up, "I challenge you to a duel." They would have a gunfight after that, somebody had to go!" But keep in mind that slapping is not always for violent purposes. For instance, if someone is being hysterical it is okay to slap that person to bring them back to their senses. Don't worry that's the only other example of a non-violent slap I could find too.

But I did find out that there are such things as slap contests. Yes that's right 2 people slap it out to see who is the winner. I'm not sure why people would engage in such an activity nor what the official rules are for such a competition. But I did find a description of the different types of slaps online. So for those of you that may find yourself in a slap fest, or slap contest here is a bit of information that may help you.

http://www.wikihow.com/Win-at-Slapfest

Types of slaps:

Forehand - a slap across the cheek executed with the palm and fingers of one hand. Use this if you see an opening or if it is the easiest slap possible.



Backhand - a slap across the cheek executed with the back of one hand. Not a good idea if you are going for pain infliction.



Double forehand - a slap on both cheeks executed with the palm and fingers of both hands. Make the slap hard and loud for effect. All the opponent's friends will laugh. This slap is TOTALLY embarrassing.

Double backhand- a slap on both cheeks with the back of the hand. Slightly better than a backhand.

Tap on the shoulder reverse - when you tap your opponent on one shoulder, then when he turns his head, you slap him on his opposite cheek. Only available at master level


Ninja slap - pretend not to slap the victim, but instead lightly punch his cheek. He will think it is a punch, but the judge KNOWS.

Now speaking of slapping contests. I even found that a popular radio station in New York Hot 97 apparently holds an annual Smackfest where the winner receives a $500 prize and continues on to compete for the $5000 grand prize. Below are a few examples of that smack contest. However, if you Google Hot 97 Smackfest or search it on youtube you will be taken to numerous Hot97 Smackfest videos.

So in closing, unfortunately I can't give you full the history of the slap as I was unable to find information on who committed the very first slap. However, I'm sure the slap goes back even to biblical days. Although he was non-violent, I'm sure that even Jesus at least had the thought of slapping Judas for selling him out. LoL. But in parting I will leave you with a collection of videos showing some classic and modern slaps. So enjoy.

"Tastes so good, Make you wanna slap Yo Momma"

Friday After Next

"Baby Powder"

How High

The 3 Stooges

A collection of classic Movie Slaps

This one is just for you Mom.

C-Recks

When Thug's Cry...

Ever listen to a song that almost made you want to cry? Or a song that some how tugged at your emotions enough to actually make you shed a tear? I'm sure every one's answer is yes and can come up with a list of songs to fit this category. But have you ever listened to a Rap Song that caused you to get a bit emotional? Yeah it's going to take you a little longer to think of one that fits that category.

Given that the majority of rap music listeners are male it's probably hard for them to admit that a rap song may have touched their heart even a tad bit. But as an avid listener of hip hop music for over 23 years I racked my brain and was able to come up with my top 10 list of the most emotional Rap Songs. Now being a man I know it's hard to admit but if you can say that none of these songs ever touched your heart at some point in life when you heard them (not every time but at least once at least one of the songs) not even a little then I don't know what to say but you gotta be damn near heartless.

But anyways here we go with the countdown starting from 10 down to 1.

#10 Runaway Love- Ludacris Feat. Mary J. Blige

This is the most recent song on the top 10. However, Ludacris came with it on this song. The song basically tells 3 different stories of young girls and them going through different struggles. One in an abusive home, another becoming a victim of her gang infested environment, and the last dealing with teenage pregnancy. As if the lyrics don't already make you a bit emotional, Mary J. singing the hook only makes it that much more emotional. As you listen to this story you can almost visualize the tragedies these young girls are going through. "Now little Lisa's only 9 years old she's tryin to figure out why the world is so cold why she's all alone and aint never met her family mama's always gone and she never met her daddy." Ludacris also receives even more props given that this type of song was far from what you're used to from Luda. So Take that Bill O'Reilly!

#9 We'll Always Love Big Poppa - The Lox

Mar. 9, 1997. That's a date that most hip hop fans don't easily forget. It's when we lost one of our Hip Hop greats. The Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls aka Big Poppa. Given the tragic events that took his life at such a young age it was a shocker too the entire Rap World. However, This song by the Lox was not the only tribute to The Late Great Notorious. In fact Puff Daddy (at the time) now known as P.Diddy or Sean Jean had a song called "I'll be Missing You." But I tend to give a little more credibility to The Lox since it seemed like Diddy sort of used this song as a spring board to his solo career. But that's a totally different blog. Back to the Lox. They basically pay their respects to B.I.G. and give you a little history on BIG's Impact and their dealings with him though it was only for a short amount of time. "It make me look back,to where he took rap Dude brought the East back, y'all better believe that He never had a warning, One More Chance was right before him everybody must answer when God's callin."

R.I.P. Big Poppa, We'll always love you BIG!

#8 Dead Homiez - Ice Cube

Now most remember Ice Cube from his N.W.A. days and as a hard core Gangsta rapper. But even as hard core as Cube was back then he took the time to pen these lyrics to reminisce on lost friends. "He got a lot of flowers and a big wreath What good is that when you're six feet deep? I look at that shit and gotta think to myself And thank God for my health 'Cause nobody really ever know When it's gonna be they family on the front row." There are so many quotables on this song to even list without listing the whole song. But a few that come to mind are: "They say "Be Strong" and you're tryin' But how strong can you be when you see your Pops cryin'?" And "But no, I pay my respects and I'm through (whaddup Cube?) Hug my crew, and maybe shed a tear or two." Now a Gangsta Rapper crying, you can't get too much more emotional than that people.

#7 Brenda's Got a Baby - 2pac

I remember this was probably one of the first 2pac solo songs I ever heard. (Yeah those of you that don't know 2pac used to be in a group called Digital Underground Google it). But when I first heard Brenda's Got a Baby it hit me like damn! I mean the lyrics were so vivid and real you couldn't help but feel Pac. Plus it was so far on the other end of the spectrum from what he did with Digital Underground. On this song it was like you almost knew Brenda. He painted her as someone that could be anyone any of us knew. " I hear Brenda's got a baby, But Brenda's barely got a brain A damn shame The girl can hardly spell her name (That's not our problem, that's up to Brenda's family) Well let me show ya how it affects the whole community." This song was also unique because Pac just flowed continuously about Brenda way past the normal 16 bar verse. The chorus didn't come until the very end of the song. But if the intro wasn't enough to get you thinking by the time Pac hit you with this line later in the song I don't see how it didn't affect you. "He left her and she had the baby solo, she had it on the bathroom floor And didn't know so, she didn't know, what to throw away and what to keep She wrapped the baby up and threw him in the trash heep." And the video was even more vivid as we actually saw Brenda throwing her baby away. I'm sure once Pac saw the impact that songs like this had on people he began to throw at least one into each of his albums. (2 of which are on this list so keep reading). Unfortunately, there was no happy ending for Brenda as Pac concluded "Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby."

#6 Tha Cross Roads - Bone Thugs in Harmony

I remember when Bone's first album "Creepin On Ah Come Up" dropped it sparked a buzz for the anticipation of their second album "E. 1999 Eternal." I remember the original version of Cross Roads was just okay nothing major or to really keep your attention. But when Easy Mo B dropped this remix version to the song (which later became the video version) it blew Bone up to a level not even Eazy-E probably ever expected they'd reach. Bone had everyone singing/rapping the lyrics to the chorus "See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads So you won't be lonely, And I'm gonna miss everybody, I'm gonna miss everybody." Not to mention this was like the groups' dedication to Eazy-E their mentor and Label Owner, that had passed away from Aids just a few years prior. But I know for fact this was a song that had the hardest Thugs singing "I miss my uncle Charles."

(OK Half We're Way there ya'll...)

#5 I Miss You - DMX Feat. Faith Evans

The diary of DMX Which aired on MTV, I recall DMX going to perform this song and literally breaking down in tears on stage trying to get through the lyrics. At that point I had a much higher respect for this song and it's lyrics. In the song DMX is talking about his Grandmother which raised him. "Gran'ma, I really miss you and it ain't been the same I drop a tear when I hear ur name." I'm sure a lot of us can relate to being raised up by our grandmothers. So on this emotional tribute X even chooses to air out some of the family's dirty laundry. "But what I'm about to say a couple of family members gone hate me but I'm gonna let you know whut's been goin on lately you know since you left a lot of things bout your kids done changed." Along with assistance from Faith Evans on the chorus this is another that will definitely touch your heart.

#4 Dear Mama - 2pac

Now if this one hasn't gotten you at some point I'm speechless. Tupac Shakur Dear Mama had to have touched home with any and everybody and I'm sure still does. This came from Pac's 3rd album "Me Against the World." He was still keeping with putting a song with this theme on each of his albums so this was was no different. Pac essentially describes his relationship with his moms which wasn't always peaches and cream. But he's describing it in a way to where he's basically reconciling it through his lyrics. "I reminisce on the stress I caused, it was hell Huggin on my mama from a jail cell." Ironically during the time this song was release Pac was actually in jail serving a bid for an attempted rape charge. Not saying he was guilty or innocent because I don't know. But a song like this was perfect to drop and smooth over his image. I recall the video which he wasn't even able to be in but his moms was and she made the video come to life even more. If you recall the Hook used an interpolation of the "Sweet Sadie" by the Spinners which was already an emotional song itself back in the day. But with all these factors put together it made this song even more emotional. And with lyrics like "even as a crack fiend mama you always was a black queen mama," I'm sure we'll be hearing this song played for years to come and not just on Mother's Day.

Shout out to my moms while we're on the subject.

#3 All that I got is you - Ghostface Feat. Mary J. Blige

Ghostface was always a story teller. I would actually dare to put ghost up there with Slick Rick when it comes to story telling. When I first heard this song I was able to instantly invision the struggles he and his family went through growing up. And it had me thanking God my struggles weren't this bad. "Family aint family no more, we used to play ball after school eat grits cause we were poor grab the pliers for the channel fix the hanger on the tv rockin each others pants to school wasn't easy..." and "15 of us in a 3 bedroom apartment roaches everywhere cousins and aunts was there, for in the bed, 2 at the foot, 2 at the head, I didn't like to sleep with jon-jon he peed the bed," and "Mommy where's the toilet paper use the newspaper." Again Mary J lends her soulful vocals over the Jackson 5 sampled beat. And ghost leaves us with with a deep question to comptemplate "I ask myself was I meant to be here...why?"

#2 Keep Ya Head up - 2pac

As previously mentioned in writing about Brenda's Got a Baby (#7 on the list) and Dear Mama (#4 on the list), 2pac definitely knew songs that packed an emotional punch went over well with his fans. This song was 1 of 2 memorable songs on 2pac's "Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z." album (I Get Around being the other). But Pac definitely made it known at the beginning of the song that who his target market was. "I give a shout out to my sistas on welfare 2pac cares if don't nobody else care." Pac goes on to state "you it makes me unhappy (what's that?) when brothers make babies and leave a young mother to be a pappy, And since we all came from a woman got our name from a woman and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women do we hate our women?" Ironically, Pac would later be sentenced to jail for attempted rape charges (As mentioned in song #4). The song used a familiar chorus from The Five Stair Step's "Oooh Child." This only added to the emotional effectiveness of the song. But with this song Pac was spoke the truth he even got political with lines like "You know it's funny when it rains it pours they got money for war but can't feed the poor Say there's no hope for the youth but the truth is it aint no hope for the future." On a side note the war he spoke of was the first coming of George Bush not the present day version. But I'm sure if Pac was still around he'd have much to say about George Bush #2 also. All in all Keep Ya Head Up remains an anthem of motivation that continues to uplift long after Pac has passed as I'm sure Pac originally intended.

Okay Finally we're Down to the #1 song the moment you've been waiting for
(Drum Roll Sounds...)

#1 Retrospect for Life - Common Feat. Lauren Hill

When I first heard this song I remember just thinking man this is a deep song. But it wasn't til I was older and actually had a child that the impact of such a song really hit me. More recently, I recall the possibility of someone close to me being pregnant. Of course with all the options including abortion being discussed this song and the lyrics immediately entered my head. "Knowing you're the best part of life do I have the right to take yours cause I created you irresponsibly subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of the start of something I'm not ready to bring into this world." Common takes on a subject never before mentioned in the history of rap music. He takes you through his mind state while wrestling with the decision. In verse one he's actually talking to the child that never came to be. "I look at your mother's stomach wondering if you're a boy or a girl, turnin this woman's womb into a tomb." He even breaks down to apologizing to the child stating, "instead I lead you to death, I'm sorry for taking your first breath first step and first cry." He then attempts to explain his actions but doesn't even attempt to make excuses by immediately taking full responsibility. "But I wasn't prepared mentally or financially having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me plus I wanted you to be raised within a family." In verse 2 common is speaking to the woman about the situation. "Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself you had our child in you I'll probably never feel what you felt but you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are through our trials and tribulations child's elimination." And in today's times of baby mamas being acceptable Comm begs to differ stating "we talkin spending the rest of our lives it's too many black women that can say they mothers but can't say that they wives. I wouldn't choose any other to mother my understanding but I want our parenthood to come from planning." The completion of the full emotion of the song was Lauren Hill singing the chorus. I remember reading that she and Comm had both recently had children when they collaborated on this song, making it even more fitting. Honestly, I was back and forth on if this song would be #1 or #2 even up until writing this. But after listening to the song again and reading the lyrics it's no doubt that Common has the #1 emotional rap song. Whether you've had a child before, had to face the difficult decision of abortion or just listen to the song overall you'll feel have to agree that this is a song that will definitely get directly to your emotions.

Well there you have it my Top 10 emotional Rap songs. Just as an observation it seems the formula for these type songs is this. Take a touching topic (i.e. moms, lost loved ones) write some deep lyrics and top it off with a chorus sung by an R&B singer = An Emotional hit. However, Only few have been able to pull it off and they definitely deserve credit for doing so. Lastly are a few honorable mentions are below.

Be A Father to Your Child - Ed OG and the Bulldogs

The Message - Dr. Dre Feat. Mary J. Blige

We Survive - Talib Kweli

C-Recks