Lost Without You

As much as I try to front and act like I don't need you in my life I was confronted with not having you there the other day. Although it was only for 24 hours I won't lie it seemed like an eternity. I guess I just got so comfortable and so use to you always being there. So when you couldn't be I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm a man first; therefore, I couldn't cry and I couldn't let anyone see how much not having you there was affecting me. But inside... Inside I felt empty. I missed your company, communicating with you and through you, and just being able to touch you. Throughout the day I would try to reach out to you, but I knew that you were unavailable. I knew that if I tried to call that I wouldn't get through. Or if I even tried to send a text that it wouldn't make it to it's destination.

How can this be? I was never this type of guy. I always tried to make sure I did all I could to keep you happy. I took care of you in every way including financially. I always made sure that wherever I went you were there with me. And even when I laid in the bed at night you were right there next to me. And when I woke up in the morning you were the first to greet me. I know that we've made a long term commitment as we've been together going on 4 years now. I truly don't know what I would do without you in my life. I guess that not having you there the other day just made me realize how important you are to me. So important that even one day had me missing you like crazy. Perhaps I was spoiled? You were always so good to me giving me almost everything I needed and more. Now I was reduced to having nothing at all. Was this your way of telling or showing me that I should cherish what we have more than I do. And to never take you or what we have for granted? If so I got the message.

They say that you never really know what you got until it's gone. Well I now understand what that means. But why does it always take being gone for someone to realize. Although it really wasn't my fault, I was left pondering so much throughout those 24 hours. What could I have done differently? I sought advice from so called experts, yet even they were no help. I was left with no choice but to wait for you to come back to me. I sat at work with nothing but you on my mind the whole day. I Wondered how long it would be before we reunited. I even wondered if maybe this was a sign that I should move on to another. Maybe try to start something new. Perhaps we weren't as meant to be as I first thought. But we've been together for such a long time, you know what I need and I know what you need. It's a mutual agreement and we make it work day in day out month in and month out.

But I would be lying if I didn't admit that many have tried to tempt me and take me away from you. However, everyone eventually gets tested right? And if you can pass those test even if not with flying colors you come out stronger on the other side right? I tried to concentrate on work as to not think about you. But you were all I could think of. I sat hoping that later that night we would be back together like old times. I just knew that another day like this would absolutely kill me inside.

I don't know how, but I made it through what seemed to be the longest 8 hour day in the world. Not knowing what to do I once again sought the so-called expert advice. This time it was suggested that maybe if I bought something for you that you would come back. As much as I desire to be with you it just bothered me that I may have to go to this extreme. I mean we were able to always work out any problems we had amongst ourselves. I didn't have to go shopping at the mall to please you. You were always satisfied by me, but maybe this advice was worth a try. At this point I really didn't care. I was willing to try almost anything to be with you again. So I ventured out into the cold and trekked through the snow to the nearest mall. I hate shopping especially during Christmas season. But for you I was willing to step out of my comfort zone.

As I walk into your favorite store I seemed a little lost. The sales associate immediately noticed I probably don't shop here often and asked if I needed help. I told them what I was looking for and they proceeded to assist me. Thank God, because sometimes these type of shopping experiences can be a little embarrassing. So, they found exactly what I was looking for and as I began to leave the store something just felt right again. It was like this one act on my part instantaneously brought us closer. I could just feel your presence again. That empty feeling had gone away. I proceeded to try to send a text message and guess what? It went through. :-D So I immediately called and guess what? It went through, I got an answer. :-D We were once again re-connected and all I could do was smile ear to ear. :-D I don't ever want to go a day without you again...

I must thank the experts at T-Mobile for their advice because it worked. All I needed was a new sim card. They activated it at the store and my phone was back ya'll. I was once again reunited and just like the song says it felt so good. It was so hard to get through an entire day without being able to use my phone. I felt disconnected from the world. I couldn't text, make calls, send e-mails, IM, or anything. I know it's sad but I actually did feel lost. I'm not saying I can't survive without my cell phone, but I will say I've gotten used to having it and all it's technology and capabilities. So in a way I am spoiled. And to go from that to nothing cold turkey is hard. So thank God that I have you back and I don't ever want to go another day without having you.

Has anyone else ever had to experience being without your cell phone for an extended period of time? And if so did you feel the same way I did? I can't be the only one to have gone through this before. LoL.

--C-Recks--