Set It Off

I recently saw the above sign while I was in the bank a couple of weeks ago. I apologize that it's not legible. But I took a quick picture and that's the best I got. I don't think they take kindly to people taking pictures while inside of the bank. But for those that can't read it the sign says:

No Hats, Hoods, or Sunglasses

In an effort to better recognize and serve our valuable clients, please remove these items before entering. Thank You.

Now when I first saw this sign I was a little taken a back. When I saw the sign I was in front of the teller cashing my check and I was actually wearing a hat and hoodie at the time. I read the sign and then looked around to make sure security wasn't about to come tap me on my shoulder and ask me to remove my hat and hood. I finished my transaction and as I exited the bank. I hadn't paid attention, but as I left I noticed that the same sign was also on the front door. I attempted to take a picture of the sign, but then I saw the security guard start walking towards me and I thought I should leave right away. Black man in a hat and hood taking pictures in a bank probably not the best idea. However, the next time I was in the bank I took the picture above.

Upon analyzing the sign I first understood why the bank chose to implement this rule. Obviously a real customer won't mind removing these items. Where as, a potential bank robber will want to stay disguised behind their hat, hood, and or sunglasses. Nevertheless, I then began to think that this sign had some unrealistic expectations. First off, the day I went into the bank the temperature may have been 10 degrees max and probably closer to 0 with the wind chill factor. Therefore, having come into the bank from the cold my initial instinct was to stay warm and not to remove my warm clothing.

Likewise, the same goes for when it's summer time. I don't wear sunglasses, but I have seen people wear them indoors and outdoors. And I personally wear hats during any season and don't usually remove them when stepping into a store or bank. Now I've never attempted any bank robbery in my life, but I'd be 100% lying if I said it's never crossed my mind. Now don't get to thinking I got a criminal mind like I'm plotting in a basement like in the movie Dead Presidents or Jason's Lyric. But we've probably all been here before. You're in front of the teller and you're cashing your measly weekly check for whatever underpaid rate your job pays. Then one of the bank employees behind you brings a bag of money out [gotta be 10-20 stacks easy] and starts counting it in the money machine. You feel like "damn why they have to do this right in front of me?" Then right there for a split second that thought runs through your head. If I hop over the counter grab a bag and be out they won't miss it. LoL.

Okay well maybe I'm the only one and if that gives me a criminal mind so be it I'm just keeping it real. Of course I would NEVER in my life act on such thoughts; however, if I were to attempt something so foolish as bank robbery I think I would be a bit more creative with my disguise. The sign mentions NO hats, hoods or sunglasses. However, in defense of the banking industry, when I went to search for images of bank robbers I was shocked. The majority of the images I noticed were of individuals wearing just that a hat, sunglasses and or hood. Go figure!

Now it was my understanding that when you're robbing a bank the object is to get in get the money and get out without being caught or identified. We all know banks have cameras every where. Even upon entering you are being monitored for security purposes. I know that with sunglasses and a hat you can blend in with the regular customers and can get the drop on security. Thus increasing your chances of making it out of the bank before security is alerted. But what about in the long run? Are you really going to get away with this crime when your face is plastered over the evening news? Isn't someone going to say that looks like so and so down the block just with glasses and a hood on?But maybe I'm the only one that would consider that before pulling this idiot move.

Disclaimer: We at Brothers' Blog do not condone nor recommend anyone to utilize any of the information provided to try to rob a bank. It is illegal and just not a smart thing to do. This information is purely for entertainment purposes. Also, if I am ever accused of such a crime this blog shall not be used as evidence to self incriminate me. LoL.

Okay so below are some of the other more popular, weird and down right stupid bank robbery disguises I found while searching online.

Presidential Mask
I guess while you're stealing dead presidents what better to wear than a mask depicting some of our dead presidents right? I know of the 4 in the pic Carter is still alive. But I still say stick to the presidents of old when going this route. I don't want to see anyone robbing a bank with a Barack Obama mask on. Don't do our first black president like that!!

Stockings
Stockings are another disguise that don't really make sense to me. I mean you can see right through them. Although they do distort your image some what, if you know who the person is you will be able to tell it's them with or without the stockings on.

The Ski Mask Way

The ski mask always seemed to be one of the best ways to disguise yourself. All you can see is the eyes and the mouth. I guess it doesn't hide what race you are though because you can clearly tell this is a black man under this ski mask.

Bandanna
The bandanna was one used back in the Wild West days. Although this guy didn't tie the other over his face but just held it to his nose. Therefore he got the cool nick name "The Runny Nose Bandit." Yeah I'm sure a threatening name like that is gonna for sure keep his man hood in tact when he reaches Federal Prison.

Cross Dresser

This is a pretty extreme disguise of choice for my man right here. He actually dressed up as an elderly female. While no one probably expected him to rob the bank, I'm not sure it was worth cross dressing for. Unless that was something he already was into. Hey I don't judge anyone do what you do. LoL. But again in prison not sure if the "cross dressing bandit" is a cool nickname to have.

Motorcycle Helmet
Now I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but this was a pretty smart disguise. You clearly can't tell who the individual under the helmet is. Let's just hope he was smart enough to use a car for a get away vehicle as opposed to his motorcycle. Bank robber with a motorcycle helmet on a motorcycle sure no one will ever suspect that.

Muslim Garment
This clever outfit shows nothing but the eyes. She or he can walk into the bank and no one can say remove those garments to them. This is part of her culture and religion. However, as you can see the person under the garments used their culture to their advantage. Not to mention you can't even tell if the person under the garment is really Muslim or not. It could just be a regular American using this outfit to just rob banks.

Duct Tape
Now this on just baffles the hell out of me. Why the hell would this idiot try to bandage himself up like a mummy using duct tape?Now I know duct tape has 1,001 uses but I can't see bank robbery disguise as one of them. He would have been better off wrapping up in toilet tissue. I hope that he shaved every hair on his head and face before suiting up in this attire. Also, I hope for his sake that he didn't get caught by authorities wearing this duct tape. Because I could see them enjoying ripping every inch of that duct tape off his head. And if he did have any hair on his head or face prior to he definitely wont after this stuff comes off.

Fake Beard

Well what better way to disguise your face than to wear the fake beard and or wig? That way the authorities can never tell it's you once you're clean shaven. This guy sorta looks like Santa Claus on vacation with that hat and sunglasses. I hope he had Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer prepped to high tail it outta there once he makes his way out with his sack of money.

Doo Rag

Now I just found this funny because my mans just kept it all the way hood. He still rocking his doo rag and he threw on some stunna shades and tried to get away with robbing this bank that's obviously inside a grocery store. And doesn't that look like a work shirt from a local mechanic shop or something he probably works at? Come on bruh. SMH!

Not sure if anyone else have seen these signs inside of banks. But perhaps this bank is just getting ahead of the game. I heard recently on the news theft and shop lifting are up due to these tough economic times. So, I'm sure bank robbery probably has increased as well. But banks have been getting robbed since their inception. And as long as banks remain around there will always be some fool that takes the mere thought of trying to get rich quick to the next level. I guess at some point they'll be adding these other items to the list of No Nos to wear inside of the bank. But regardless of what your disguise of choice is, robbing a bank is just not a smart thing to do. You will eventually get caught and bank robbery = Fed Time. So that means you're doing almost day for day in the Fed. So in the end like Just Jasmine indicated in her recent blog it's just not worth it. Crime really does not pay. Did we not learn anything from Queen Latifah and the crew? Leave the Setting it Off to the movies.

--C-Recks--

Trick or Treat??

Rappers are known for introducing new slang and terms into our culture through their music. Now being a rapper I can usually let most of the ignorant things slide for the most part. Soldier Boy will never get a pass though someone better Tell em' (but that's a future blog). But there is a saying that I have been hearing in some of the latest songs on the radio lately. And I can't lie for some reason I'm a little disturbed by it. To most it's not really major and I guess I should probably be more in an uproar about the vulgar and misogynistic comments about women, guns and drugs. But unfortunately we all know that and most accept them as a part of rap music in general. As a rapper myself all I can do is try to portray a different image of rappers through my lyrics. With that said buy my album "Ripped from the Headlines" coming really soon. (Shame less plug I know).

But back to the subject at hand. The saying that I have been hearing goes like this:

"It aint trickin if you got it."

You may have recently heard the above term in songs like "Whatever You Like" by T.I., "Got Money" By Lil' Wayne Featuring T-Pain, "Can't Believe It" by T-Pain Featuring Lil' Wayne and "What them Girls Like" by Ludacris Featuring Chris Brown." Now for those of you that are unfamiliar with the term or not well versed or fluent in slanguage the meaning of the saying is this. If you've got the money you can spend it on whatever and it's not considered a waste of money. So basically you can blow thousands of dollars on any and everything with no regards just because you have the money. In theory this statement is very true. It's your money so feel free to do whatever the hell you want with it, and whose business is it what you do with your money? However, the problem that I have with this saying is that in some instances if you have it or not it is Trickin. Below I've listed just a couple items I feel like no matter how much money you have to spend and throw away some times it's still considered Trickin.

Strip Clubs

Now I'm curious to know who was the first person to go into a strip club take a hand full of money and throw it on stage? I would just like to know what was going through his head when this occurred. I wonder if it could have been done on accident. Like what if the man had just got change for $100 in all singles as he's walking up to the stage to tip he trips or slips and all the money goes flying out of his hands onto the stage. As the bouncer comes over to help him up he looks at his money and then looks at how swole the bouncer is and intelligently decides to just leave the money where it landed. However, he then notices the reaction he's getting from the stripper on stage and other strippers in the club. And there you have it the first person to make it rain in the strip club. LoL.

Well I don't know how the phenomenon was really invented but regardless some how this has become a regular trait in strip clubs. I remember being in Atlanta in a strip club and watched a guy walk in the front door walk up to the main stage throw an unknown amount of bills into the air and then walk towards the bar. Very shortly after I didn't see the man anymore. I'm assuming he left out probably because he was out of money. Now I'm not the smartest person but I do consider myself to be pretty economical hell even at times pretty cheap. LoL. So therefore I'm always going to try to get the most for my money. Whether it be a gallon of milk, a gallon of gas, a shirt, a hat, and yes even a lap dance. lol. I mean why not get the best deal you can. Now maybe that was all my mans needed to get his money's worth but I'm sorry even if he had it I must say he tricked off his money. LoL.

Speaking of Atlanta and strip clubs here's another example to prove my point. Back in 2005 rappers Jermaine Dupri and Nelly partied it up big in a strip club spending $10,000 on strippers and alcohol. Well apparently they felt so guilty the next day that they decided to match their charitable donation to the strippers' college fund with a charitable donation to underprivileged children. They apparently purchased $10,000 in toys for the children and passed them out. Now as much money as these 2 have to blow even they had a moment of clarity and a conscious when they realized how much money they had spent. Either that or they're just smart business men and realized at least they can write off the toys whereas the strip club tips were simply Trickin!!

Our last example comes from the infamous Adam "Pac Man" Jones. In 2007 the NFL player was partying at a Las Vegas strip club during the NBA Allstar Weekend. As the story was told to me and as I read in an article this is basically what happen. The rules in the club he was in prohibit strippers from picking up money while someone is making it rain. They must wait until the raining stops. However, apparently the promoters for the club began scooping up his money in garbage bags while he was still making it rain. Apparently Jones didn't appreciate this after words were exchanged a melee began. To make a long story short as Jones exited the club shots rang out and 2 people were hit including a female patron, and a bouncer that ended up paralyzed. Police reportedly seized $81,000 (no that's not a typo) of Jones' money from the promoters. I don't even like to carry over $100 on me in cash. So how do you realistically walk into a strip club carrying $81,000? And that's just what he was making it rain with when the incident occurred, there's no telling how much he actually had on him. Now I've already mentioned that making it rain is definitely trickin, but apparently it can also be dangerous ask Pac Man Jones.

I enjoy the strip club as much as the next man, however; no matter how much money I get I can't see just throwing thousands in the air up for grabs. I mean I may make it drizzle a little bit and throw some change on the stage but I'm not trying to hurt no body. LoL. But It was put best to me by a friend of mines. I asked them if they'd make it rain in the strip club. They simply replied "Nah. I wouldn't. I'd rather tip the regular way it promotes good work ethic." I thought that answer was brilliant. Thanks for the quote Kris. LoL.

Prostitutes

My brother works with a special individual we've nicknamed Rain Man (yeah like the movie). But recently my brother told me that he found out that Rain Man hadn't had sex in damn near 10 years. Apparently all he does is work and play video games. Again, I'm not the type to pay for sex but damn 10 years? At that point I would understand him considering paying a few hundred at least once a year to get him some because apparently whatever other method he's utilizing is obviously not working for him.

However, I discussed pimping and prostitution in a early blog entitled "Hard for a Pimp?" Now nothing has changed since back then. I still have never and will never pay for sex. Maybe I'm cheap, but I'd rather say I'm just not this damn desperate. I have no clue what the going rate for some of these services are but I'm sure they can range anywhere from $50 (street hooker) to $1000 (High class escort services). Now if you're one of these guys that feel the need to pay for sex I just can't understand why you pay so much. I understand the quality of the prostitute probably increases the more you pay. In other words you're willing to pay an extra $100 to make sure you're not dealing with some potentially diseased crack whore. That I get. But at what point does it just become too much? When the amount you're paying for prostitutes begins to reach hundreds and even thousands of dollars per session that is just damn ridiculous. If this isn't trickin then I don't know what is. In fact in the pimp game prostitutes consider having sex with their clients "turning tricks." Therefore the clients that purchase prostitution services are called just that a Trick!!

In conclusion, I'm not the one to tell people what they can and can't do with their money. However, it's bad enough some rappers mislead people when it comes to their lyrics and so called lavish lifestyles. But stop with the catchy sayings that are completely false. There are plenty things people trick their money off on whether they have it or not. Look at these damn major banks that are on the verge of bankruptcy. They had billions of dollars to loan to individuals they knew wouldn't be able to afford to pay their mortgages. Now look at the state of our country's economy. It's called trickin! Even Beyonce's wig collection was recently valued at over $1 Million dollars. Although that's barely 1.25% of the $80 Million she made last year, it's still ridiculous. I know black women are particular about how they want their hair to look. But $10,000 a wig come on! I'm sure a personal stylist won't cost you that much. But then again she probably still has a personal stylist to make sure the wigs stay tight. What a shame.

*Shakes Head*

--C-Recks--