Set It Off

I recently saw the above sign while I was in the bank a couple of weeks ago. I apologize that it's not legible. But I took a quick picture and that's the best I got. I don't think they take kindly to people taking pictures while inside of the bank. But for those that can't read it the sign says:

No Hats, Hoods, or Sunglasses

In an effort to better recognize and serve our valuable clients, please remove these items before entering. Thank You.

Now when I first saw this sign I was a little taken a back. When I saw the sign I was in front of the teller cashing my check and I was actually wearing a hat and hoodie at the time. I read the sign and then looked around to make sure security wasn't about to come tap me on my shoulder and ask me to remove my hat and hood. I finished my transaction and as I exited the bank. I hadn't paid attention, but as I left I noticed that the same sign was also on the front door. I attempted to take a picture of the sign, but then I saw the security guard start walking towards me and I thought I should leave right away. Black man in a hat and hood taking pictures in a bank probably not the best idea. However, the next time I was in the bank I took the picture above.

Upon analyzing the sign I first understood why the bank chose to implement this rule. Obviously a real customer won't mind removing these items. Where as, a potential bank robber will want to stay disguised behind their hat, hood, and or sunglasses. Nevertheless, I then began to think that this sign had some unrealistic expectations. First off, the day I went into the bank the temperature may have been 10 degrees max and probably closer to 0 with the wind chill factor. Therefore, having come into the bank from the cold my initial instinct was to stay warm and not to remove my warm clothing.

Likewise, the same goes for when it's summer time. I don't wear sunglasses, but I have seen people wear them indoors and outdoors. And I personally wear hats during any season and don't usually remove them when stepping into a store or bank. Now I've never attempted any bank robbery in my life, but I'd be 100% lying if I said it's never crossed my mind. Now don't get to thinking I got a criminal mind like I'm plotting in a basement like in the movie Dead Presidents or Jason's Lyric. But we've probably all been here before. You're in front of the teller and you're cashing your measly weekly check for whatever underpaid rate your job pays. Then one of the bank employees behind you brings a bag of money out [gotta be 10-20 stacks easy] and starts counting it in the money machine. You feel like "damn why they have to do this right in front of me?" Then right there for a split second that thought runs through your head. If I hop over the counter grab a bag and be out they won't miss it. LoL.

Okay well maybe I'm the only one and if that gives me a criminal mind so be it I'm just keeping it real. Of course I would NEVER in my life act on such thoughts; however, if I were to attempt something so foolish as bank robbery I think I would be a bit more creative with my disguise. The sign mentions NO hats, hoods or sunglasses. However, in defense of the banking industry, when I went to search for images of bank robbers I was shocked. The majority of the images I noticed were of individuals wearing just that a hat, sunglasses and or hood. Go figure!

Now it was my understanding that when you're robbing a bank the object is to get in get the money and get out without being caught or identified. We all know banks have cameras every where. Even upon entering you are being monitored for security purposes. I know that with sunglasses and a hat you can blend in with the regular customers and can get the drop on security. Thus increasing your chances of making it out of the bank before security is alerted. But what about in the long run? Are you really going to get away with this crime when your face is plastered over the evening news? Isn't someone going to say that looks like so and so down the block just with glasses and a hood on?But maybe I'm the only one that would consider that before pulling this idiot move.

Disclaimer: We at Brothers' Blog do not condone nor recommend anyone to utilize any of the information provided to try to rob a bank. It is illegal and just not a smart thing to do. This information is purely for entertainment purposes. Also, if I am ever accused of such a crime this blog shall not be used as evidence to self incriminate me. LoL.

Okay so below are some of the other more popular, weird and down right stupid bank robbery disguises I found while searching online.

Presidential Mask
I guess while you're stealing dead presidents what better to wear than a mask depicting some of our dead presidents right? I know of the 4 in the pic Carter is still alive. But I still say stick to the presidents of old when going this route. I don't want to see anyone robbing a bank with a Barack Obama mask on. Don't do our first black president like that!!

Stockings
Stockings are another disguise that don't really make sense to me. I mean you can see right through them. Although they do distort your image some what, if you know who the person is you will be able to tell it's them with or without the stockings on.

The Ski Mask Way

The ski mask always seemed to be one of the best ways to disguise yourself. All you can see is the eyes and the mouth. I guess it doesn't hide what race you are though because you can clearly tell this is a black man under this ski mask.

Bandanna
The bandanna was one used back in the Wild West days. Although this guy didn't tie the other over his face but just held it to his nose. Therefore he got the cool nick name "The Runny Nose Bandit." Yeah I'm sure a threatening name like that is gonna for sure keep his man hood in tact when he reaches Federal Prison.

Cross Dresser

This is a pretty extreme disguise of choice for my man right here. He actually dressed up as an elderly female. While no one probably expected him to rob the bank, I'm not sure it was worth cross dressing for. Unless that was something he already was into. Hey I don't judge anyone do what you do. LoL. But again in prison not sure if the "cross dressing bandit" is a cool nickname to have.

Motorcycle Helmet
Now I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but this was a pretty smart disguise. You clearly can't tell who the individual under the helmet is. Let's just hope he was smart enough to use a car for a get away vehicle as opposed to his motorcycle. Bank robber with a motorcycle helmet on a motorcycle sure no one will ever suspect that.

Muslim Garment
This clever outfit shows nothing but the eyes. She or he can walk into the bank and no one can say remove those garments to them. This is part of her culture and religion. However, as you can see the person under the garments used their culture to their advantage. Not to mention you can't even tell if the person under the garment is really Muslim or not. It could just be a regular American using this outfit to just rob banks.

Duct Tape
Now this on just baffles the hell out of me. Why the hell would this idiot try to bandage himself up like a mummy using duct tape?Now I know duct tape has 1,001 uses but I can't see bank robbery disguise as one of them. He would have been better off wrapping up in toilet tissue. I hope that he shaved every hair on his head and face before suiting up in this attire. Also, I hope for his sake that he didn't get caught by authorities wearing this duct tape. Because I could see them enjoying ripping every inch of that duct tape off his head. And if he did have any hair on his head or face prior to he definitely wont after this stuff comes off.

Fake Beard

Well what better way to disguise your face than to wear the fake beard and or wig? That way the authorities can never tell it's you once you're clean shaven. This guy sorta looks like Santa Claus on vacation with that hat and sunglasses. I hope he had Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer prepped to high tail it outta there once he makes his way out with his sack of money.

Doo Rag

Now I just found this funny because my mans just kept it all the way hood. He still rocking his doo rag and he threw on some stunna shades and tried to get away with robbing this bank that's obviously inside a grocery store. And doesn't that look like a work shirt from a local mechanic shop or something he probably works at? Come on bruh. SMH!

Not sure if anyone else have seen these signs inside of banks. But perhaps this bank is just getting ahead of the game. I heard recently on the news theft and shop lifting are up due to these tough economic times. So, I'm sure bank robbery probably has increased as well. But banks have been getting robbed since their inception. And as long as banks remain around there will always be some fool that takes the mere thought of trying to get rich quick to the next level. I guess at some point they'll be adding these other items to the list of No Nos to wear inside of the bank. But regardless of what your disguise of choice is, robbing a bank is just not a smart thing to do. You will eventually get caught and bank robbery = Fed Time. So that means you're doing almost day for day in the Fed. So in the end like Just Jasmine indicated in her recent blog it's just not worth it. Crime really does not pay. Did we not learn anything from Queen Latifah and the crew? Leave the Setting it Off to the movies.

--C-Recks--

Elementary My Dear Employee

Objective: Experienced, and educated individual seeking exciting and challenging position within a growing company.

Translation = Please hire me so I can escape this HELL they call a Job.

Like many of you I have been through many years of schooling and now work a 9-5 job. Well maybe it's just me and my job but I swear sometimes I feel like I'm back in school. You name the grade; 1st grade, 6th grade, or 10th Grade. Honestly it tends to vary on a day to day basis. As I have mentioned before I work with mostly women. But I like to consider myself the quiet type employee that basically sticks to himself and does his job for 8 hours a day. I try to mind my own damn business and not get involved in the every day gossip and trivial things that go on in the work place. Basically, I just want to do my time so I can go home at the end of the day.

However, that doesn't stop me from being very observant as to the happenings around our small office. Some things are funny, while others are just down right stupid and a waste of my time and thoughts. You can read examples of what I'm talking about Here. as well as Here. Well recenlty I went throughout the office and taken a few pictures of some things that are just down right ridiculous in nature. They truly make me feel like I'm back in grade school as opposed to at a Job with other adults. As you continue to read you'll see what I mean.

This lovely sign was inspired by the abundant number of individuals that would make their coffee or eat their lunch and leave a damn mess. I don't drink coffee. If I do it's a rare occasion or a very restless couple of nights. Also, I go home for lunch. So there is no chance that I'm the guilty culprit. However, other people think that their mothers work here as well. Therefore, they aren't even considerate enough to clean up after themselves when they make a mess. The sign has slightly deferred some from leaving a mess behind. But then again there are those people that you just wonder to yourself how do they live at home. Like you just know they live nasty as hell.

Here's another sign that's in the kitchen. Now who in today's times doesn't own a microwave oven? Well even if you don't own one I'm sure we've all used a microwave before. Therefore, who doesn't know that when you heat up food in the microwave that food can splatter as it gets hot? Well apparently one or more of the idiots I work with don't know this. Either that or they're just that damn lazy to cover up their food when heating it. Then when they do make a mess once again are so inconsiderate they'll leave the mess for the next person to clean. Well this sign has at least kept the microwave messes to a minimum lately.

Okay here's one last kitchen sign. This sign is posted on the refrigerator just like my [4 year old] son's art work is on my fridge at home. Well anyways this particular sign was inspired for a couple of reasons. First, people would bring their lunch and if they didn't eat it all they would leave it in the fridge. I don't know if they just forgot about it being in there, or if they were just too lazy to take it out and walk the 10 steps to the trash to discard their food. But when the fridge gets full and people try to make room then they notice some old Chinese food or Pizza in the back growing mold. Then someone gets stuck spending 30 minutes cleaning out the fridge. Just ignorant I tell you!!!... Now on to the other part of the sign. So, people put items such as yogurt, soda/pop, juice, and condiments in the fridge for later use. Well some employees feel the need to take other peoples food as if it is community food. We've complained about the problem before. However, after the manager had her yogurt stolen she decided to post this sign on the refrigerator.

Now this sign would be very appropriate and I believe required by law if I were working in a restaurant. However, keep in mind I work in a small office. There are no more than 15-20 people ever in the office at a time. This sign is just appalling to me every time I go to the bathroom. Do you mean to tell me that grown ass people have to be reminded to do something that we were taught to do at 2 years old? Well apparently the answer to that question is a sad yes. This sign was put up after someone pissed all over the toilet seat. Of course that means that a man was the likely culprit. And being one of the few men in the office I was pissed to think that someone may be thinking it was me. Of course that is not the case, given that between my mom and my ex-wife I've spent 25 years living with women. Therefore, I'd say I'm pretty well trained in that department. As for the other part of the sign, another time someone else handled their business and didn't flush. Come on this is just damn ridiculous.



Well these signs can get pretty redundant. I would think that someone would be able to notice that the picture of the man means it's the men's bathroom. Also, the picture of the one in the skirt would mean it's the ladies restroom. Likewise, the one with both the man and woman would be a unisex or co-ed bathroom. Well tell this to the old guy that inspired these signs. The old guy no longer works with us. However, he took it upon himself to bypass the unoccupied men's and unisex restrooms to go into and use the ladies room. Well I don't know why he did this I'd say he must have been an old pervert but who knows. All I know is the women were up in arms about this and stated he even left the toilet seat up. Therefore, the manager was prompted to post these signs on the restrooms just as a reminder. I couldn't get the picture of the men's bathroom but the sign was blue since blue is for boys according to my son. LoL.

Fortunately, that's all that I have for now. But you get the point. I'm sure come next week there will be another stupid violation that will prompt another sign to be posted somewhere. I'm expecting a sign stating "Don't cut in line at the water cooler." Or "Quiet while others are on the phone." Now I know that most of you are thinking how can you even work in an environment like that? Or that I should find a new job fast. Although I'm thankful I even have a job in these tough economic times, trust and believe that I've been trying to escape like Remy Ma. Unfortunately, I've been having the same luck that she did. LoL. But anyone with a job hook up in or around the Chicago Land area by all means holla at ya boy. I'll promptly forward my real resume to you. LoL.

--C-Recks--

I Beg Your Pardon

We have all seen them at some point. Some people fear them, while others detest them and wish they'd go away. Some people even laugh at them, but many more feel sorry for them. It doesn't matter if it's day time or night. They walk amongst us every day. Nor does it matter if it's downtown, in the city, in the ghettos, or the suburbs. They are every where. Although they are not extraordinarily abundant in numbers, you can't seem to avoid them. Whether you're walking down the street, coming out of the store, or even driving in your car. The "signs" of their presence is apparent. Regardless of how you feel about them they're not going anywhere.


By now you're probably all curious as to who or what I am talking about. Well if you haven't yet figured it out this blog is dedicated to the Homeless. Also known as bums, panhandlers, and hobos.

The homeless are the poorest of the poor. So poor that in some instances, they have no choice but to live outdoors even in cold climates. So poor that they're only income and or meals usually come from begging. It is very sad when a person becomes homeless and has no roof over their head or food to eat. I am actually one of the individuals that at times feels sorry for these individuals especially when they are children or disabled. We can debate all day about the homeless and the role the government should play in helping to assist them. But that's not what I'm focusing on. In this blog I want to discuss the panhandling tactics of some homeless individuals.


Although I do empathize with the homeless, I guess the skeptic in me won't always allow me to give to the homeless panhandlers. I guess bottom line I don't always trust my hard earned change is going to food or shelter or whatever they've told me they need the money for. In fact, I have the perfect example. One cold winter night I was in the hood and I had a taste for White Castle's chicken rings. So, I stopped at the drive through. As I'm placing my order a homeless man comes up to the car and said "If you have any change after you pay can you help me out with getting something to eat?" Now again, anyone that knows me knows I'm a big skeptic (Ask my cousin about Cris Angel. LoL). However, since he mentioned food and it was cold out I felt I should help him out. So, I went ahead and ordered my chicken rings, an order of fries, and a White Castle's Burger aka a slider. So, I proceed to window 2 and pay and receive my food. As I get ready to pull off the man is waiting right there after the window 2. As I drive past I reach in my bag, roll down my window, and hand the man the burger.


Now I can't calculate how much change I would have had without buying that burger but it's safe to say that a $0.59 cent white castle burger was about equivalent, and possibly a little more. Well as I hand this man the burger I have the slight feeling that I've done something good. Not really to better the world but at least in this man's life for right now. But that feeling quickly turned to anger when I noticed the look on the man's face as I handed him the burger. The look on his face was almost in disgust that I gave him food as opposed to money. He just looked at me and didn't even say thank you. I was comptemplating going snatching my burger back. But I was so pissed that I said "yeah you're welcome" and just rolled up my window and quickly sped off.


I don't know about any of you, but the 2 things I hate wasting the most are time and money. I was upset that I wasted my money on this homeless man. Some may be thinking it's only $0.59 cents what's the big deal? Well the change I spent won't make or break me but it's really a matter of principal. That change could have gone into my son's piggy bank like the rest of my change usually does. But no I wasted it on a burger for someone that didn't even appreciate my effort. I hate to sound cliche but "beggars can't be choosers!!" No pun intended of course.


But that's just one experience, but I can't lie it definitely didn't make it any easier for another homeless person to get my spare change out of me. Likewise, I saw a segment on an episode of Manswers on Spike TV that had to do with professional begging. In that segment I saw some statistics that made me damn near blow a gasket. It stated that some professional beggars can earn up to $49 an hour, $300 a day, and even $78,000 a year. I was floored to think that as hard as I work it would take me almost twice as long to earn what some of the top professional beggars do. After hearing this story I was done with helping panhandlers. That 50 cents can stay in my own pocket as opposed to helping someone live better than me for free. Watch the video below.

However, there are some homeless individuals that I would consider giving to. For instance, here in Chicago a lot of the homeless will sell a newspaper called The Defender. This is a homeless publication and I believe the proceeds go to help the homeless. Now I don't have a problem giving these guys a buck from time to time. At least they're working for their money, and at least I get a newspaper for my dollar. Also, the homeless that will clean your window I sometimes don't mind giving money. Again they're working for their money. If my window is dirty and they're willing to clean it for some change then it's a fair enough deal. But I will admit that I do hate when they just come up to your car without asking and clean the windshield then expect some money. No one gave you permission to clean my window man. Maybe I wanted that bird crap stain to stay there for a while.

The bottom line is that if they're trying to get money out of me they have to do much more than just hold out a cup or tell me a sob story. In addition, just holding up a sign saying something like "Homeless please help. God Bless" isn't good enough for me either. Perhaps some of you would/will give based on these things and God Bless you for that. However, I'm talking about me here. You want this change you better come with it. LoL. I mean if you're at the strip club and a girl just stands there in front of you and doesn't even take off her clothes or dance is that enough to make you want to make it rain? Well maybe some of ya'll but not me LoL. I worked hard for this money so you're going to have to convince me that it's worth my dollar is all I'm saying. It's no different than any other transaction. Again, no pun intended but maybe they need to try to think "out of the box." LoL. But, I took the time to find a bunch of panhandling signs that are all very unique. I've commented below on them and explained how much I would give and why.

This is a very creative sign. Very colorful and attention getting. The caption is actually funny. I love how they wrote out vibrator as if the letters themselves are vibrating. I'm not too sure if I empathize with the guy though. And I'm not down with contributing to someone else's inner freak especially if I don't benefit. LoL. Maybe he should have included a picture of his wife. If she's ugly then I can understand him wanting to get her a new vibrator asap. LoL. But just based on the comedy factor I'd give him 50 cents. $1-$2 if he could produce a picture of an ugly wife. LoL.

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm a gambling man. So I wouldn't be able to resist taking this guy up on his bet. I'd bet about $1. He doesn't look that fast and his knee looks to be injured so I would even be willing to give him 2:1 odds on this bet. But I believe in paying up on bets so if I lose I would definitely pay up and even let him keep the quarter. I'm sure it's probably a scam though. I would get ready to throw the quarter and his ass would be dodging quarters like The Matrix. LoL. But if I did win I couldn't see taking his money. But I would let him keep the winning quarter for being a good sport.

Man this guy has my attention already. I feel him 100%. I have been there before. When my divorce finalized I had to give up the house I had bought, fixed up and lived in for almost 5 years to my ex-wife. I was essentially homeless. Thank God my grandmother let me crash on her couch for a few weeks until I found me a new place to live. But when I think back I also thank God I had a job because if I had neither I would have been homeless for real. So to this guy I'd give him at least $5 just because I feel his pain. As the song says sometimes it's "cheaper to keep her." LoL.

This is another comical sign. We all know the story behind New York Governor Elliot Spitzer and his prostitution bust. I'm assuming this guy is in New York. So if I was in New York and saw this guy and his sign I'd give him at least $0.60 just for the laugh. I would give more but I'm not trying to contribute to his prostitution addiction especially not at that astronomical price. If I had a condom in my wallet I would throw that in the plate as well. He will need it if he ever reaches his goal.

First off is it just me or does this guy bare an eerie resemblance to the late great Issac Hayes? Well as for his sign. Depending on how my day has been going I may have to take him up on his offer and tell him off for $2. So for $2 I'd go ahead and get my vent on. First off are you hot or cold? I mean you have a leather coat with the fur on the collar but yet you have no shirt on under it and the coat is unzipped. So make up your damn mind!! Put on a shirt and cover up that taco meat on your chest. Next, get a job stop begging and work for your money!! Lastly, wake yo ass up!! LoL. I mean what have you done to make you so damn tired? It's not like you just worked a 9-5 so you have no reason to be sleep in the middle of the day. And put on some socks man!! Okay I feel better now. That was actually worth my $2. Thanks.

Well if you've ever read any of my blogs and their titles then you know that I like to use the play on words. So this sign is right up my alley. First off the guy is a big guy so he definitely looks as if he can get his eat on. So, just off the funny factor of the sign I would be willing to give him about a buck for a burger or something. He definitely doesn't look to have missed too many meals so his sign must be working. Also, is it me or is he dressed like he works at a Target? I don't know he could be suspect. Maybe he's just on his lunch break and forgot his lunch or something. I would have to pull the sign back if I see a name tag he gets nothing from me. I'm not giving anything to someone that is gainfully employed.

Okay I'm going to walk lightly on this one because I know the secret service may be reading. All I must say is that this man has some balls. So I admire his boldness. However, he was smart enough to make sure his face was blurred out of this pic. But to even whisper those words like the Ying Yang Twins can get your ass locked up if the wrong person hears you. I'm not even going to type them. The picture is clearly not of a black man so to the C.I.A. it's not me. I don't know the date of this picture but if it was recent he wouldn't get anything from me Bush will be out soon anyway. But just for saying what I'm sure a lot of Americans want to say. I'm not saying me personally for Big Brother that's watching. But to this guy I'd give him about $3 buck for his boldness alone.

Now this is another bold move. However, if I was driving along this road I'd have to thank this guy. Apparently the Sheriff's Department are doing some sort of traffic sting and this guy is giving motorist a fair warning to be prepared. So now you can slow down, buckle up, and toss any illegal drugs or guns in the stash spot. If you were ticketed for speeding or no seat belt you're looking at a ticket of at least $25 or more. And if you're riding dirty well you already know that's going to cost you your freedom. Therefore, just on potentially saving me money I'd give this guy $5. And his friend at least a dollar I'm feeling the shirt (see blog entitled 9-1-1 Is a Joke). LoL .

I don't know if this was a shameless plug or what. But I tried to put in this website address and got nothing. So maybe he was just trying to be creative. However, I'm not trying to be funny but he should have put http://www.spareteeth.com/. I see him needing that more than the change. Maybe the tooth fairy will fly past and drop something off in ya boys' cup. LoL. But he seems to be in good spirits about his situation so I would help him out with a dollar.

Okay finally!! This is what I been waiting for. Finally a panhandler that's keeping it real. No sob story here about being down on his luck or nothing to eat. He's putting it out there that he's trying to get money for not just beer, but also pot, and a hooker. Well if I came out of the liquor store from buying a case of beer and saw this sign I'd help him out. One ice cold beer from my case. About $0.75 value. Just a token of my appreciation for this man not wasting my time with a bullshit story in order to get my spare change. Enjoy the ice cold refreshing beer my friend. You'll have to get someone else to help you out with the hookers and weed.

Okay this guy is really going to the extremes to get his panhandle on. I have 2 problems with this guy's tactics. First, this guy is out of order for portraying himself as Jesus.
The robe and collection plate are way too much. Secondly, this sign is way too extreme. It's bad enough I have to worry about eternal damnation when I'm in church and pass the collection plate without contributing. But now I got this guy out on the street trying to condemn me to hell fire if I don't give to him. This guy wouldn't get a dime from me. If you read my blog (E-Mail and Text Forwards) I don't respond to scare tactics especially dealing with Hell. LoL. Also, being a black man white Jesus doesn't scare me much anyways. So, if his collection plate passed my way I'd most likely drop some chicken bones in it like Arsenio Hall on Coming To America. LoL.





So you mean to tell me someone kidnapped your wife and demanded a large ransom or they would harm your wife? Then you scraped and collected all this money to give for the ransom and when you counted it you were exactly $0.98 cents short? Man get the hell outta here. LoL. Even if that was the case if you're going to hold a sign that says your wife was kidnapped then you may as well have gone to the police. Then they would be handling the kidnapping and negotiations so you wouldn't have to be out begging for $0.98 cents. Although I give him props for attempting to be creative, he didn't think his story out well enough for him to get any money out of me. If his wife was really kidnapped I may let him use my phone to call 9-1-1 that's about it.






Hey doesn't this guy look familiar? And wait doesn't the sign look familiar too? I think it's our friend with the kidnapped wife. It's obviously a different day as he's changed clothes. Hey look even his sign has changed. He now needs $0.99 as opposed to the $0.98 cents he needed on the sign before. So did he somehow lose a penny during his attempt to scrape up the ransom money? Oh I get it, the kidnappers called and decided that the ransom wasn't high enough and decided to up it by a whole penny right? Man get this sign out of my face! I didn't fall for it the first time and now that I see you again with the same sign you're definitely not getting even that penny from me.





This sign is a nice attempt of this guy to be clever. However, the one thing he's not thinking about is that on every alcoholic beverage there is a disclaimer from the Government. "(1)According to The Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems." So in other words if you drink you will get drunk and your liver will look like a raisin in the sun if you drink too much. So the Government has done all the research necessary on alcohol and they don't need your help. Nice try though. You get an E for effort, but no money from me.

Now this sign is funny for a couple of reasons. First, I'm picturing big man here in a tight karate
outfit trying to learn kung-fu. Next, I'm trying to imagine a bunch of ninjas coming to the hood to kill this guys' family. I've been to enough hoods to know that even trained ninjas won't go there. So, if a group of individuals wearing all black killed his family I guarantee they weren't ninjas. Now if you subtract the nj from ninjas and add gg in it's place then the sign would be much more believable to me. I know I'm joking about someone's family being killed but I'm following his lead he's the one with smiley faces on the sign. I got a good laugh on this one $0.60 cents from me.

Another keeping it real sign. "Why lie I need a beer." Truer words could not have been spoken. I have to feel him on this one. Who doesn't need a beer from time to time? Again, if I had a beer on me I would definitely be willing to share with this man. Plus it looks hot out so I'm sure the cold beer would cool him off.

Again this guy is keeping it real. However, beer is one thing. I'm not going to support someone's drug habit. I know you're probably like you'll help destroy someone's liver but not their brain from drugs. Well yes it's a double standard but I have that right to choose where my money goes. I'm not forcing the beer down the man's throat. LoL. But back to this sign. I like the fact he is admitting he's not even homeless. If I were homeless and saw his sign I'd come over there and kick his ass. He's taking away from me being able to eat when he just wants to get high.

So the moral to this story a panhandler must be clever and creative to maximize their opportunity for getting money, especially from me. But hell, if a top notch professional beggar can make $78,000 a year then I'm definitely in the wrong profession. I am actually in the process of looking for a new job. So, Don't be surprised if you're walking downtown one day and you see me holding a "Will Rap For Food" sign. I'll have a portable CD player playing my debut CD "Ripped from the Headlines" and have copies of the album for sale (album coming soon, shameless plug I know). But at least I'll be selling you something and not just begging. But for real if you see your boy out there show me a little bit of support. Even if you don't buy a cd I'll spit a hot 16 for you for your spare change. LoL.

--C-Recks--

(Crank Dat Homeless Man)