Re-Post: It's Goin' Down!!

Last night I was out with my girlfriend at a bar and many were watching the Lakers Vs. Celtics Game 5 via the Bar's Direct TV service. Well at 1 point it began to drizzle outside and as any Direct TV user probably knows that's all it takes for the thing to freeze up or go out. So as the game froze up you were able to immediately hear most of the conversations throughout the bar since there was no volume on the TV. So my girl and I kind of zeroed in on some of the conversations. The one that caught our attention the most was between 2 different groups, some Lakers/Kobe fans and some Celtics fans that had began to "trash" talk amongst each other about the game and their teams.

Now the 2 groups of individuals were all black men. And as we all know when black men discuss sports and their favorite teams they tend to get very passionate and sometimes even loud. So as we were being nosy and observing this conversation we immediately noticed how uncomfortable the majority of the white people in the bar got. Many of them looked nervous as if something was about to jump off between these 2 groups. However, we of course knew that they were just having a discussion and of course they weren't about to fight, pull out guns or anything like that. At least based on the conversation at hand we knew that nothing was going to happen. But we also know which words and phrases to listen for to indicate to us if something was about to go down. Eventually the Direct TV came back on and with the volume and everyone went back to watching the game and rooting for their team. And as we suspected it was all Love in the end, even after the Lakers lost.

However, this situation just reminded me of this blog I wrote so I thought I'd repost it!

Oh and Ironically, the "best friend" that was mentioned in the blog below from November of 2008 is now my girlfriend that I was with last night. Go figure. lol.

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I consider myself to be a very observant individual. Some may call it nosey but trust me it's really not. But whenever I'm out in public or an unfamiliar environment, I'm very aware of my surroundings. I don't try to do it on purpose but I guess I'm just a naturally suspicious and skeptical person. Therefore, if I walk into a public place it won't take long for me to scan the room. Within maybe a few seconds I can inconspicuously survey the scene with ease. I know it probably sounds a little weird, and perhaps I should have be in the FBI or CIA. Lol.

Well the reason that I am this way is not because I am scared, paranoid, on drugs, or anything like that. Honestly I think that I'm this way because I always want to be prepared in case something jumps off. Not that I always expect or think that something is going to happen, but just in case something goes down I prefer to be prepared. For example, here's a true story:



So my best friend and I went out to eat at a Buffalo Wild Wings a few weeks ago and ordered some wings to go (They always give us more wings when we order to go. Gotta love boneless Thursdays. lol). So they took our order and told us it will be up in about 15 minutes. So, her and I sit down and talked while we waited. As we talked I noticed there were 2 guys and a girl sitting across from us. Then next to us was a guy and his girl. Then a final guy walked up and he and one of the guys across from us shook hands and said what's up etc. Then the guy that walked up noticed the guy on my right and apparently he knew him too. So he also shook up with him and said what's up, etc. Then he said to the guy on my right "Hey you know so and so right?" Pointing to and talking about the guy across from us.

Now all of this took place in a matter of maybe a minute at most. All the time my best friend is telling me about her day at work. I am listening to her and still paying attention to what's going on right in front of us. Well as she's digging deeper into the events of her day, I heard something that took my complete attention away from anything she was saying. Before the guy on my right could answer the question that was posed to him, [if he knew the other guy across from us] he was interrupted. I heard the guy across from us say "Yeah I know that Bitch Ass Nigga!!"

First of all neither of these men were black so that's an automatic attention getter (but that's another story and blog). So like a dog hearing a dog whistle my ears perked up and I was no longer listening to a word my best friend was saying. Yet she apparently didn't hear what was said, since she continued to talk and go on about her day. However, at that point I was completely focused on what was being said by these 2 guys. Next thing I heard was the guy across from us say "I oughta whoop yo ass!!" The guy to my right played it off and was laughing at the other guy. However, The guy across from me didn't find it funny at all and the next thing you know he's standing up as his girl is trying to calm him and get him to sit down.

At this point my best friend said something and I guess she noticed I wasn't even paying attention to what she was saying. She says "Are you even listening to me?" I replied "uh huh yeah," all the while watching the activities transpire in front of us. She then replies "no you're not," then she noticed the guy across from us standing up. Well from here the guy on the right's girl left out and went to get the manager. Right before the manager came the other guys voluntarily left out of the restaurant. So my best friend goes "that's why you weren't paying attention." I told her yeah "I noticed it about to go down before it happen."

So, the moral of that story is this: A peaceful quiet moment can turn into something no one expected in a matter of seconds or minutes. Then the eye witnesses will be saying "I don't know what happen all of a sudden I saw someone get hit or I heard a shot." Now I'm not saying that everyone should be like me and all extra observant and what not. However, there some key indicators that you should be aware of that will let you know when something is about to go down. Below I've compiled a short list of some of those things.

"Bitch Ass Nigga" - Just like with my story above if you hear someone getting called a bitch ass nigga you better believe that there will be some sort of retaliation. Usually this term is directed at another man (usually black) and no man will tolerate being called a bitch. Let alone a bitch ass nigga. That's just over kill. Also, another variation of the usage of this term could be "Shut yo bitch ass up!!"

Multiple People Running - If you see one or two people running it doesn't really mean much, perhaps they're trying to catch a bus or something. But when you see a group of people running (I'd say 3-5 or more) then something has either already went down or is about to go down. So if you see a group of people running, trust me you'll be better off if you just run with the crowd. You don't want to be the person caught not running or trying to be curious as to what is going on. If you remember Cedric The Entertainer illustrated this point in the movie "Kings of Comedy." Check out the clip below.

"Who the F**k you think you talking to?" - If you hear someone ask this question it will usually be in a very loud octave. Therefore, you won't be able to miss hearing it. But the biggest clue as to whether or not something is going to go down is based on the response to this question. However, once that question is even posed you should be aware that the odds have increased for something to go down. If the person wants to avoid confrontation they simply won't answer the question. But the likelihood of someone just shutting up is slim to none. If they really want to throw salt in the wound they can respond "I'm talking to you, you bitch ass nigga!!" LoL.

"On My Momma...___" - You can fill in the blank here, but pretty much once someone puts something on their momma they're not playing. So whatever they say after putting it on their momma I would venture to say that they are serious about doing. For instance, if someone says "On My Momma it's about to be on up in here." Well you can pretty much trust and believe it's about to be on. That should be your cue to move around. Also, if you hear someone talk about some one's momma that's also another clue as to what will be taking place next.

"I'm going to the car we'll see when I get back" - If an argument has just ensued and for some reason someone feels compelled to go to the car, you may not want to be around when they get back. This also applies to someone saying they are about to "pop the trunk." Trust me they aren't going to the car to feed the meter or check on the air pressure of the spare tire. They're going to get some sort of weapon most likely a gun. For an example, check out the video from the movie "White Men Can't Jump" below. The scene occurs at about 2 Minutes in if you just want to skip right to the part I'm talking about.

"You gone Let him get away with that??!!" - Where there's an argument or fight there is usually someone there to instigate. What may be harmless or not close to escalating to more than a verbal disagreement can always turn into much more when an instigator is present. So you should always listen for someone in the crowd instigating. Once the instigator speaks their piece you may want to take that as a sign to vacate. Take my opening example, what if the guy's girl didn't go get the manager? What if instead she said "You gone let him call you a "Bitch Ass Nigga?" Well if that had happened I doubt he would have laughed it off as he did. I'm pretty sure that he would have felt obligated to respond to the nonsense that was being directed towards him. The instigator has the ability to put an indirect attack on someone's manhood, increasing the chances a fight even more. Other examples of the instigator at work are "If that was me I'd Whoop his ass," or "He must think you a punk (and or a bitch ass nigga)." Notice the multiple people smiling in the background of the image to the left. Any of them could be the suspected instigator in this fight.

Now keep in mind that these are simply precursors indicating that something may possibly be about to go down. The reaction and or response to the above items will most likely be the main indicator. I'm sure that there are probably many other things that would qualify to appear on this list. However, these are the main ones I came up with. Feel free to add your own to the list. But in conclusion just be more aware and on the look out. Because like Young Joc you never know when "It's Goin' Down!!"

--C-Recks--

Life After Death

"It sounded like Vietnam man."


I nor him had ever been in the Vietnam war; However, as he described the story it was reminiscent of stories told to me by my Grandfather who actually had been in the Vietnam war.


I sat there listening intently. I was in awe at the words coming out of his mouth. A lump formed in my throat that I couldn't even begin to attempt to swallow away.

"Man we kicked it out at club Ruby that night. We didn't get into it with anyone it was all good we had a good time. After the club we went to Maxwell's right off of the E-way. It was six of us in the van. As we're riding along I barely had 2 bites of my polish when bam!!

They began to shoot up the van. "Man it sounded like Vietnam."

"They shot over 20 times into the van. Elliot got hit 6 times. Then one of our other guys in the back seat also got hit once. We didn't see anything. It all happen so fast. The craziest part is that I was in the passenger seat. But after leaving the club I was cold and the driver had the air blasting so I was trying to change seats with someone in the back. But no one would switch with me. They even joked around and even threw me a blanket up to the passenger seat. So I could've easily been in that back seat as well."

"The only explanation the police could come up with was that it may have been some type of gang initiation. We were in a Hispanic neighborhood and you know those Mexican gangs you have to kill someone to be initiated."


The only response I could muster was man that's crazy. I mentioned it was so hard to imagine and I had just seen him the week before in the barber shop.

"Man I cut with him every day and have worked with him in different shops for 10 years, so imagine how it is for me. I still can't believe it. It still hasn't even hit me yet."

The subject then turned to his daughter. "Her 5th B-day was yesterday. I stopped by and dropped something off for her, but it just wasn't the same man." I replied "She's the same age as my son and also starting kindergarten next month." He replied back "Man my daughter is only a few years older. So that could easily be me."

As he said that I looked over at Elliot's old barber booth station. I noticed his barber chair was gone. However, they had created a make shift memorial in his honor. They had pictures up along with his obituary and flowers.

Of course still saddened by his loss. Seeing the memorial some how gave me a bit of comfort. I felt like it was great to honor his memory in that way.

If you read my last blog entry "Senseless" I talked about the tragic death of someone I knew Elliot Thompson, that was shot and killed a few weeks ago. The above story is recounted by someone that was there in the vehicle that he was shot in. Well a week prior to hearing the actual story I attended his funeral. Like all funerals this one was definitely a sad one. But for a few reasons this was sadder than most. Perhaps it was because he was still so young (only 31 years of age). Or perhaps it was because he was a young father (his daughter would be 5 this month and starting kindergarten next month). But when I think about it I think that what hit me most was the fact that I have seen myself in his place...

Let me explain what I mean when I state this. I am in no way a person that always discusses death. In fact, I don't even fear death. I realize it is something that will eventually happen and nothing I can do will prevent it when it's my time. So in my expect the worse hope for the best mentality, I simply hope and pray I stick around long enough to accomplish a few more things and see all those I love do the same.

However, when I think about death and really get around to answering the question of how and when I think I may kick the bucket, (buy the farm, push up daisies, meet my maker, give up the ghost or whatever death idiom you prefer), its pretty specific. Now I know you shouldn't speak n certain things because of the chance of speaking them into existence. However, as I stated and as we all know death is something that is unavoidable.

But to be real this incident that killed him was something that could have happened to anyone that was driving in that area at that particular time. I for whatever reason see myself going out in a sad unexpected manner such as this. Nothing that I provoked, nothing that I was doing reckless, nothing that was anticipated and I knew was bound to happen. However, I think it would/will be something swift and totally unexpected that will happen much before my time.

I say all that to say that today is barely promised and tomorrow is out of the question. It's a blessing of God that I'm sitting here typing these words. And if I'm here tomorrow to be able to do the same it's even more of a blessing. Life is precious. I enjoy living every single day I get to do so. Although I may see myself going out sudden and perhaps tragically, I pray God has a bigger plan for me, which includes living a long time and seeing my son (and/or future kids) and grand kids grow up and live their lives as well.

However, it's sad that some don't see just how precious lif is and will do things such as take another life. They don't even see how far past the person they're killing it affects. That's someone's father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandmother, grandfather, grandchild, etc.

For some reason it took me a good while to finally finish writing this blog as it stayed in draft for over a week. Sorry if it's all over the place.

But all I can say is embrace those you love and Live life. There are no guarantees in life except...Death.

Senseless

So as I'm sitting at work yesterday and checking out Facebook I happen to notice a couple of old High School people's status messages. They both referred to the death of someone we went to school with. Elliot Thompson. The first name was a name that I knew, but it also could have referred to a couple different people. The last name I had no clue of so I was at a loss as to who they were referring to. So I inquired from one of the individuals as to who they were referring to and what happen. When the girl responded she gave his name and said that he was shot and killed. I told her that the last name didn't ring a bell although I knew of more than one Elliot from high school. She then replied with a description saying he was a barber at a particular barber shop. I replied back that it can't be the same person I'm thinking of and expressed my condolences for his loss.

However, the person I had in mind had the same first name (I couldn't recall his last name) and was also a barber, it was not at the barber shop she mentioned. She replied back that it was indeed the same person and to go to another high school person's Facebook page and he had a picture of him up on his page. Well when I finally got around to checking out the picture it was after work hours. As I'm looking at the picture on my phone. It hit me! Damn That's E.

I went home after that and found the news story online here.

Of course like any death of someone you know it causes you to reflect on the person and memories of the person. Well to be honest Elliot was not even a friend of mines back in high school. I knew who he was and would see him. But we didn't speak and I didn't have any classes with him. Elliot was a couple years older than me and in fact he actually graduated in my brother's class in 1996. After high school he became a barber. In high school believe it or not I had braids. But towards the end of high school I cut off all my hair and began getting hair cuts. Well I was first going to a particular barber at the shop I was at. That was until one day that barber wasn't there and that's when I saw Elliot. Or E-Ness as we referred to him as. I didn't even know he cut hair. But I went to him to get my hair cut and began going to him regularly after that. I believe he even cut my hair for like my prom.

Well for whatever reason I started using a different barber after a while and eventually found myself having my hair cut with the present barber I have now. I've been going to the same barber I have now for probably 8 or 9 years now. My barber has changed shops quite often and of course I would just follow him and go to wherever he was cutting at. From time to time he would relocate to a shop where Elliot was cutting at as well. I would of course say what's up to E and chat with him etc. A couple of years ago my barber had a party at his place and invited everyone in the shop. Of course Elliot was there. I recall kicking it hard that night with him especially. Well eventually my barber changed shops again and then at the end of last year my barber opened his own shop.

This was a great deal as I had seen my barber grinding going shop to shop and he definitely deserved to have his own. Needless to say that slow but surely many of the other barbers he cut with back in other shops began coming over to his shop. Probably a few months ago I went in for a cut and I saw Elliot. To be honest I probably hadn't really seen him since the party a couple of years ago. We hollered for a minute and were asking about each other and what was going on in each others lives. We both spoke about our kids and I remember that he spoke proudly about his daughter and I about my son. Ever since then when I would go to the shop I would see E and say what's up and holla at him for a sec just to see what's good. When I went to get my hair cut this past Thursday prior to going out of town for the weekend I saw Elliot. He was chilling sitting in his chair on his laptop like I often saw him doing. After my cut I walked past him and said what's up and we shook up. Who knew that would be the last time I would shake his hand.

So although I didn't kick it with E often or holla at him outside of the barber shop he was still someone I considered a friend and to be cool with. His death is tragic and very sad. I think about his daughter that is most likely around my son's age and it saddens me even more. Gun violence is so rampant in the city. But when you see and hear about it as tragic as it is we still are distant from it. However, when it hits home it really hits home. It's just such a shame that a young man (age 31), a father has been taken away and most likely over some nonsense.

I hate to sound preachy and we all hear this often. But its true no one is promised tomorrow. The friend or family member you see today can not be here next week. So embrace your loved ones and friends while you still have them amongst you. As Ice Cube said in his song Dead Homiez "Cuz nobody really ever know, when it's gonna be they family on the front row." Real Talk.


R.I.P. Elliot Thompson aka E-Ness



--C-Recks--

Tons of Guns

"I got mines I hope you [got yourself a gun]" Nas - "Got yourself a Gun"

I'll be honest I don't listen to or really read the news. The reason being is because it's usually all bad news. So I can appreciate when ClnMike does his Good News Tuesdays. But last week I came across an article about a young 11 year old boy that killed his pregnant step mother with a gun. Well the twisted part is that apparently the gun used to kill the 8 month pregnant step mother was a youth 20-gauge shot gun that was given to the child. Just 2 weeks prior to this tragic event the boy won a turkey in a shooting competition. I just don't understand what some parents are thinking these days. This tragedy could have been prevented so easily. But now a woman and her unborn baby are dead, a young boy is facing life in prison for double homicide and a family is torn apart.

Now I know I started off with something a little depressing, but that story made me think about me and guns when I was a young boy. So on a lighter note I have a little confession. When I was younger like most young boys I had a fascination with guns. Upon saying that some may assume that I had plenty of toy guns to play with. Well actually it was the total opposite. My parents absolutely refused to buy or allow me to play with toy guns. Yep they were all off limits. Water pistol? Nope! Cap gun? Nope! Suction gun? Nope! Trust mom and dad vetoed them all.

So, as a young boy I was stuck at a crossroad. I mean how am I to play cops and robbers with no gun? What kind of cop or robber has no gun? So what was I to do? Well being the innovative young boy that I was (and still am) I didn't need an actual gun. Yes ladies and gentlemen I turned any and everything into a gun. I made guns out of legos, Lincoln Logs (that's old school for the younger readers out there. Lol), sticks, and of course my finger. Pow! Now as much as my parents tried to stop this behavior they just couldn't keep me from making more guns. As soon as they took one of my make shift guns away I would immediately grab something else, aim it at someone, and say POW! I think its just one of those things about little boys. Its somehow in their nature. Although I will admit I was an extreme case.

Likewise, my son's mother and I adopted the same philosophy to keep our son away from guns. But of course it doesn't stop him from running up on me with his finger or some other object and unloading on me. POW! Lol. Luckily for me his fascination is with cars and rarely thinks about guns or violent toys. As for me I eventually turned to sports cards and video games and my gun fascination died down some. However, when the super soaker was out I had to have one.
Again, the key word is it died down "some." I can recall at about age 12 a friend of mines and I bought these 2 toy guns. They resembled 9 millimeters. But what kept them from looking real was the fact they were painted in camouflage fatigue colors. Well in an effort to make them look realer we came up with the bright idea to spray paint the guns black. So, after spray painting the guns to the average untrained eye the gun really did look like a real 9 millimeter (similar to the toy gun to the left). Bright idea #2 came when we decided to actually carry these guns around. Yep just like they do in the movies in the waist band. Now we didn't do anything devious with these guns but we just carried them around to make us look or feel cool.

Fortunately, no one ever mistook the guns for real guns. However, there was one particular incident that I recall so vividly. Now let me first paint the picture. The year was around 1992 or 1993, the place Los Angeles, California (Technically the San Fernando Valley). So this was after the Rodney King verdict and L.A. riots. So tension between blacks and police were at an all time high. A 12 year old young black male walks out of a local mall. He has a toy gun spray painted to look realistic. A police squad car with 2 white officers in it passes by and they notice him reaching for what looks to be a gun. They immediately stop! They tell him to stop and one of the officers walks up to him and asks what he has tucked in his jeans. He pulls out a toy gun and immediately states "it's just a toy." Officer #1 replies "this thing looks real why are you carrying it?" The boy replies "for no reason its just a toy." Officer #2 states "don't you know we could have shot you thinking this gun was real?" The boy keeps quiet. Officer #1 says "we're going to give you a bag to carry this thing in."

Next, Officer #2 interjects and says "no better yet we're going to just drop you off at home. What's your name and where do you live?" The boy panics and tries to think fast. He gives his first name. They then ask him his last name. He attempts to think even faster. Well he didn't want to give his real last name, so the only thing that he could come up with quick enough was Mc Williams. "Mc Williams is your last name?" Officer #1 asks with a suspicious look on his face. He then sarcastically states "Okay then hop in the back we're gonna drop you off at home Mr. Mc Williams." On the trip the young boy realizes he can't be seen by his parents with a squad car dropping him off. So as they approach his apartment complex he tells them to stop at the building right before his. The officers let him out of the back and give him the gun in the bag. They leave him with a stern warning not to carry the gun out in public any more.

Well of course that young black boy was me. Whenever I think back to the incident I just think God was with me that day. Those cops could have shot me and would have gotten away with justifiable homicide because I decided to carry a fake gun. Then I laugh at me choosing the last name Mc Williams. There was a white girl in my class with the same last name so I guess that's all that came to mind in time. Back then I didn't realize that it was strictly an Irish last name. So the chances of a black man having that last name were the same of Rodney King still having some of the money left that he won in the civil trial. Although my brother once out drank an Irish man and called him self Dre Mc Williams, beyond that it wasn't a plausible alias. LoL.

I don't think my fascination with guns was quite the same after that incident. Pretty much non existent would describe it best. Although once my ex father in law (an ex-police officer) took me to the gun range once when I was about 21. That was the first real life gun I had ever held let alone fired. So I guess that allowed me to finally live out some childhood fantasy. Whatever the case may be a child does not have the mental capicity to handle real guns. Hell there are plenty of adults that shouldn't even be handling guns. So to purposely hand a child a real gun is a tragedy waiting to happen. Just my take on the story.

--C-Recks--