Re-Post: It's Goin' Down!!

Last night I was out with my girlfriend at a bar and many were watching the Lakers Vs. Celtics Game 5 via the Bar's Direct TV service. Well at 1 point it began to drizzle outside and as any Direct TV user probably knows that's all it takes for the thing to freeze up or go out. So as the game froze up you were able to immediately hear most of the conversations throughout the bar since there was no volume on the TV. So my girl and I kind of zeroed in on some of the conversations. The one that caught our attention the most was between 2 different groups, some Lakers/Kobe fans and some Celtics fans that had began to "trash" talk amongst each other about the game and their teams.

Now the 2 groups of individuals were all black men. And as we all know when black men discuss sports and their favorite teams they tend to get very passionate and sometimes even loud. So as we were being nosy and observing this conversation we immediately noticed how uncomfortable the majority of the white people in the bar got. Many of them looked nervous as if something was about to jump off between these 2 groups. However, we of course knew that they were just having a discussion and of course they weren't about to fight, pull out guns or anything like that. At least based on the conversation at hand we knew that nothing was going to happen. But we also know which words and phrases to listen for to indicate to us if something was about to go down. Eventually the Direct TV came back on and with the volume and everyone went back to watching the game and rooting for their team. And as we suspected it was all Love in the end, even after the Lakers lost.

However, this situation just reminded me of this blog I wrote so I thought I'd repost it!

Oh and Ironically, the "best friend" that was mentioned in the blog below from November of 2008 is now my girlfriend that I was with last night. Go figure. lol.

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I consider myself to be a very observant individual. Some may call it nosey but trust me it's really not. But whenever I'm out in public or an unfamiliar environment, I'm very aware of my surroundings. I don't try to do it on purpose but I guess I'm just a naturally suspicious and skeptical person. Therefore, if I walk into a public place it won't take long for me to scan the room. Within maybe a few seconds I can inconspicuously survey the scene with ease. I know it probably sounds a little weird, and perhaps I should have be in the FBI or CIA. Lol.

Well the reason that I am this way is not because I am scared, paranoid, on drugs, or anything like that. Honestly I think that I'm this way because I always want to be prepared in case something jumps off. Not that I always expect or think that something is going to happen, but just in case something goes down I prefer to be prepared. For example, here's a true story:



So my best friend and I went out to eat at a Buffalo Wild Wings a few weeks ago and ordered some wings to go (They always give us more wings when we order to go. Gotta love boneless Thursdays. lol). So they took our order and told us it will be up in about 15 minutes. So, her and I sit down and talked while we waited. As we talked I noticed there were 2 guys and a girl sitting across from us. Then next to us was a guy and his girl. Then a final guy walked up and he and one of the guys across from us shook hands and said what's up etc. Then the guy that walked up noticed the guy on my right and apparently he knew him too. So he also shook up with him and said what's up, etc. Then he said to the guy on my right "Hey you know so and so right?" Pointing to and talking about the guy across from us.

Now all of this took place in a matter of maybe a minute at most. All the time my best friend is telling me about her day at work. I am listening to her and still paying attention to what's going on right in front of us. Well as she's digging deeper into the events of her day, I heard something that took my complete attention away from anything she was saying. Before the guy on my right could answer the question that was posed to him, [if he knew the other guy across from us] he was interrupted. I heard the guy across from us say "Yeah I know that Bitch Ass Nigga!!"

First of all neither of these men were black so that's an automatic attention getter (but that's another story and blog). So like a dog hearing a dog whistle my ears perked up and I was no longer listening to a word my best friend was saying. Yet she apparently didn't hear what was said, since she continued to talk and go on about her day. However, at that point I was completely focused on what was being said by these 2 guys. Next thing I heard was the guy across from us say "I oughta whoop yo ass!!" The guy to my right played it off and was laughing at the other guy. However, The guy across from me didn't find it funny at all and the next thing you know he's standing up as his girl is trying to calm him and get him to sit down.

At this point my best friend said something and I guess she noticed I wasn't even paying attention to what she was saying. She says "Are you even listening to me?" I replied "uh huh yeah," all the while watching the activities transpire in front of us. She then replies "no you're not," then she noticed the guy across from us standing up. Well from here the guy on the right's girl left out and went to get the manager. Right before the manager came the other guys voluntarily left out of the restaurant. So my best friend goes "that's why you weren't paying attention." I told her yeah "I noticed it about to go down before it happen."

So, the moral of that story is this: A peaceful quiet moment can turn into something no one expected in a matter of seconds or minutes. Then the eye witnesses will be saying "I don't know what happen all of a sudden I saw someone get hit or I heard a shot." Now I'm not saying that everyone should be like me and all extra observant and what not. However, there some key indicators that you should be aware of that will let you know when something is about to go down. Below I've compiled a short list of some of those things.

"Bitch Ass Nigga" - Just like with my story above if you hear someone getting called a bitch ass nigga you better believe that there will be some sort of retaliation. Usually this term is directed at another man (usually black) and no man will tolerate being called a bitch. Let alone a bitch ass nigga. That's just over kill. Also, another variation of the usage of this term could be "Shut yo bitch ass up!!"

Multiple People Running - If you see one or two people running it doesn't really mean much, perhaps they're trying to catch a bus or something. But when you see a group of people running (I'd say 3-5 or more) then something has either already went down or is about to go down. So if you see a group of people running, trust me you'll be better off if you just run with the crowd. You don't want to be the person caught not running or trying to be curious as to what is going on. If you remember Cedric The Entertainer illustrated this point in the movie "Kings of Comedy." Check out the clip below.

"Who the F**k you think you talking to?" - If you hear someone ask this question it will usually be in a very loud octave. Therefore, you won't be able to miss hearing it. But the biggest clue as to whether or not something is going to go down is based on the response to this question. However, once that question is even posed you should be aware that the odds have increased for something to go down. If the person wants to avoid confrontation they simply won't answer the question. But the likelihood of someone just shutting up is slim to none. If they really want to throw salt in the wound they can respond "I'm talking to you, you bitch ass nigga!!" LoL.

"On My Momma...___" - You can fill in the blank here, but pretty much once someone puts something on their momma they're not playing. So whatever they say after putting it on their momma I would venture to say that they are serious about doing. For instance, if someone says "On My Momma it's about to be on up in here." Well you can pretty much trust and believe it's about to be on. That should be your cue to move around. Also, if you hear someone talk about some one's momma that's also another clue as to what will be taking place next.

"I'm going to the car we'll see when I get back" - If an argument has just ensued and for some reason someone feels compelled to go to the car, you may not want to be around when they get back. This also applies to someone saying they are about to "pop the trunk." Trust me they aren't going to the car to feed the meter or check on the air pressure of the spare tire. They're going to get some sort of weapon most likely a gun. For an example, check out the video from the movie "White Men Can't Jump" below. The scene occurs at about 2 Minutes in if you just want to skip right to the part I'm talking about.

"You gone Let him get away with that??!!" - Where there's an argument or fight there is usually someone there to instigate. What may be harmless or not close to escalating to more than a verbal disagreement can always turn into much more when an instigator is present. So you should always listen for someone in the crowd instigating. Once the instigator speaks their piece you may want to take that as a sign to vacate. Take my opening example, what if the guy's girl didn't go get the manager? What if instead she said "You gone let him call you a "Bitch Ass Nigga?" Well if that had happened I doubt he would have laughed it off as he did. I'm pretty sure that he would have felt obligated to respond to the nonsense that was being directed towards him. The instigator has the ability to put an indirect attack on someone's manhood, increasing the chances a fight even more. Other examples of the instigator at work are "If that was me I'd Whoop his ass," or "He must think you a punk (and or a bitch ass nigga)." Notice the multiple people smiling in the background of the image to the left. Any of them could be the suspected instigator in this fight.

Now keep in mind that these are simply precursors indicating that something may possibly be about to go down. The reaction and or response to the above items will most likely be the main indicator. I'm sure that there are probably many other things that would qualify to appear on this list. However, these are the main ones I came up with. Feel free to add your own to the list. But in conclusion just be more aware and on the look out. Because like Young Joc you never know when "It's Goin' Down!!"

--C-Recks--

Beat It!!

Considering we're all adults, I'm not sure why, but whenever a topic dealing with sex is brought up on this blog the comments are slim to none. But that's neither here nor there, I guess it just is what it is. With that said this is not going to be a long post about this subject. So don't worry. However, someone sent me this link to this article. The link is below, but I've actually copied the article for all to read it's short and sweet and I have one comment to make after you read it.

Article

March 11, 2009

Police: Son pleasures himself, then punches mom

DADE CITY -- It all started about 7 p.m. Tuesday, authorities said, when a mother looked outside and saw her 19-year-old son masturbating in the back yard.
The mother yelled. The son, Antwan L. Grandberry, 19, walked around to the front of the house on 13th Street in Dade City and rang the doorbell, according to a Dade City Police report. The mother answered and began cursing and yelling at Grandberry, who then punched his mother in her face, the report said.

Grandberry, who is listed as unemployed, was arrested on a domestic battery charge and is being held in the Land O'Lakes jail in lieu of $500 bail.

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Okay here's my final word and you can quote me on this...

"As if beating off wasn't enough you mean to tell me he had to beat up his momma too?"

SMDH!!

Not sure what's going on with people these days, but they said he was unemployed so maybe the economy to blame. Hell sounds like a plausible defense they blame it on everything else.

Well that's it for now.

--C-Recks--

Just Deserts

Don't worry I didn't make a simple spelling error in my title. You'll understand the spelling as you continue to read. So, a few months my best friend was having an argument with some guy about who was thirstier men or women? So she e-mails me and asks my take on it. Well my immediate response was "Men of course!" My first example proving my point to her was for her to simply log into her myspace. I told her that I bet with her just being logged in [cue the blinking on-line indicator] and not doing anything more that the guys would flock. However, if I were to do the exact same I would maybe [on a good day] receive 1 request to her every 5-10. Unfortunately, she agreed with me that guys are thirstier; therefore, she didn't try my little "social-networking" experiment.

However, my blog entry "It's a One-derful Life" prompted another friend of mines to re-open their previously closed myspace account to prove a point. On her profile she listed 10 items about her as I did in the aforementioned blog. However, she proceeded to tell me that the "resume" as she called it, prompted her to receive 70 friend requests. All of these requests came within a matter of barely 24 hours, from men wanting to be her "One." Well without even asking her to participate she conducted my "social networking" experiment for me. So my response to her was that the 10 items was irrelevant. I feel that even without her putting her 10 items on there that just a picture and no words would have gotten at least half of those requests. Why? Because guys are thirsty.

Still not convinced? Well here's yet another example. A few years ago I was in the grocery store picking up some items for my grandmother. Well my eye spotted a gorgeous woman shopping and pushing her cart along. Now before my mind could even formulate the thought of stepping up to her and say something someone had already beat me to the punch. So, I played the back and watched her shut this guy down as he walked away shaking his head. Within less than a minute I saw another guy make the same attempt only to be shut down. As guy #2 was shut down there was a third guy lurking in the shadows just hoping for his turn. Even after seeing guy #2 get shut down, the third guy proceeds to take his chance. By this time I'm simply laughing because it's become quite comical. Well it's no surprise that guy #3 got the same treatment as his 2 predecessors. The young lady proceeded to the meat department to pick out some poultry, but it wasn't long before guy #4 made his appearance. I couldn't hear what any of them were saying to her, but with her picking out chicken, I'm sure his "original recipe" line that he used wasn't too original. Therefore, he was sent home with no consolation prize along with the previous contestants.

Well I won't front that my mind was thinking hell "give it your best shot worst she can say is no." However, I then thought of it in this way. If I just saw 4 people try to cross the same bridge and all met the same fate of falling in the water would I still try to cross? The answer was an astounding Hell No!! Plug up the Gps and find yourself another route. LoL. So, I told myself I'm just not a thirsty type guy and simply admired her beauty from a distance and kept it moving.

I mean I know I'm from Chicago and perhaps thirstiness just exists here, but I doubt that's the case. I've come to realize that Chicago niggaz just take it to an extreme level. However, I'm sure that women from all over the world can attest to the fact that they've experienced many moments dealing with thirsty guys. We've attempted to come up with a list, let's go through it and see how far we get.

- The guy that buys you a drink at the club and thinks you drinking that drink is some sort of non-verbal contract obligating you to talk to him the rest of the night. So he follows you around the club all night.

- The guy that you actually decide to give your number to; however, he doesn't adhere to the 1-2 day buffer and calls you the same day.

- The guy that when he meets you and you won't give him your number decides to give you his number. But not just his number. He includes his work number, his e-mail address, his instant messenger, and just in case you can't reach him at any of those his momma's number.

- The guy that first tries to holla at you. Then when you shut him down moves on to your girl. But when she doesn't give him any love either he then makes an attempt at your other girl. Eventually he goes through the rest of your crew, but even though no one takes his bait it doesn't deter him from trying.

- The guy that you've barely known a week or 2; however, he already wants you to be his woman. But wait he's not just satisfied with you just being his girl. Within that same week or 2, he wants you to meet his momma, be his wife, and go half on a baby with him.

- The guy that calls you and when you don't answer he leaves you a voice mail. But before you can even check the voice mail he's calling you again. But when you don't answer the next time he's sends you a text message. My brother commonly refers to these individuals as Serial Dialers.

- The guy that will admittedly do anything to get you to sleep with him. Including but not limited to offering to buy you any and everything you want as if money will all of a sudden make you want to be with him.

- The guy that sees you walking down the street as he's driving and tries to get your attention by yelling from the car. When you ignore his disrespectful attempt, he continues to drive along side you trying different lines on you hoping you change your mind.

- The guy that you openly treat like s**t, yet he takes your s**t and whatever else you do to him just no matter how bad it is. He doesn't care because he just wants to be with you no matter what.


Alright that's all we could come up with. But feel free to add to the list in your comments I'm sure we've left plenty things out. But the bottom line is that although there are some thirsty women out there, they don't close to match the numbers of thirsty men. I guess some of these guys didn't get the memo that women out number men in most places. You would think that would deter them from being so thirsty; however, it doesn't and it won't.

So to those thirsty men out there. Please stop being so damn thirsty! Ya'll make it harder for us regular guys to even get a chance because of how thirsty the last guy that tried was. So calm your thirsty asses down, for starters here's a glass of water on me. LoL.
--C-Recks--
--DrizaDre--

The Mother Load

A couple of weeks ago I was at work and dealing with an irate customer over the phone. This is probably an every day occurrence in my line of work. So, it's nothing for me to maintain my professionalism while being verbally badgered by customers. This particular customer had his car repossessed and was upset because when he got his car back he had no license plates. So, he was going off about the fact that he couldn't drive his car with no plates. As I'm trying my best to help this customer he starts speaking Spanish in the back ground. Now I'm in no way fluent in the Espanol language. However, I did use to live in California for about 7 years. During those years a lot of my friends in school were Hispanic. So, I picked up on a lot of Spanish words that I still can recall. Fortunately/Unfortunately, those particular words happen to be mainly the curse words.

So as I'm explaining to him the procedure he must go through in order to get his plates, I can hear him saying in Spanish MF this, F**k that, B**ch this, A-Hole that. Now again, I sometimes deal with irate customers on a daily so phone bullies don't bother me because any one can be big and bad over the phone. However, when I over heard him say in Spanish "F**k your Mother" well let's just say at that point a nerve was officially struck. In an attempt to maintain my professionalism I had to hang up on that customer. Although the black in me wanted to serve his ass with a few choice words of my own, I was able to hold back in an effort to keep my job. Brother got child support and bills to pay. LoL.

I honestly had to think about the last time I even had someone say something about my mom. It had been quite a long time. I want to say around 5th grade. But it was only because for some reason other kids would come to me to come up with good "Yo Momma" jokes. I won't front a was pretty good but I'll admit most of my good ones were stolen. The ones I came up with personally were not as funny. LoL. But back then it was fun to joke and talk about someone's mother. At least it wouldn't come to blows in the end. So I'm sure that I had my mother talked about and talked about even more mothers. But I remember I used to get em' with some of the classics like these:



Yo Momma So fat she jumped in the sky and got stuck!
Yo Momma So fat she stepped on a rainbow and made a pack of skittles!
Yo Momma So broke she can't pay attention!
Yo Momma So black she went to night school and was counted absent!
Yo Momma So old her Social Security Number is 1!
Yo Momma So stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

If you sit back and think about the impact of someone saying "Yo Momma!" it would amaze you. But why is that the one of the top things that can set damn near anyone off? Here's another example. My mother was talking with my son recently. Whatever they were discussing she told him something like "you need to ask yo momma and yo daddy." Well he's only 4 and probably has never experienced having his momma talked about. However, his response to my mother was "what you say about my momma?" We couldn't help but to laugh. But that just goes to show you that hearing someone say "Yo Momma" is enough to get a rise out you even at 4 years old.



Unfortunately I can't go into the history of "Yo Momma" jokes and enlighten you on who delivered the first diss to someone's momma. However, remember when people talked about you when you were a kid, what was usually your mom's favorite response? "So what they talked about Jesus!!" Therefore, that leads me to conclude that if they talked about Jesus I'm pretty sure that someone talked about Jesus' mother as well. I'm sure this one was a popular one back then. I could hear them now "Yo Momma aint no virgin." LoL.

Well it really boils down to the connection between mother and children. She carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, and then raised you. So how can you not be protective of dear old mom? Although it's never funny when someone talks about your momma, I will admit it's pretty damn funny when someone else's mom is talked about. In fact, hearing someone's mother get talked about is so entertaining MTV even came up with a show dedicated to just that, talking about other people's mothers. The subtly titled "Yo Momma" pins contestants against each other to see who can deliver the best punchlines, jokes, and disses toward their opponents.

Even rappers have capitalized on the fascination of talking about people's mothers. Most people remember the rap group Pharcyde for their hit single "Passin' Me By." However, Passin' Me By was their 2nd single. The group's debut single was actually a comical song entitled "Ya Mama." The song title was pretty self explanatory as the group basically went back and forth talking about someone's mother. More recently Chicago rap group Hotstylz did a song entitled "Yo Mama." But I'll take the original Pharcyde version any day of the week over this version. In my opinion this gong sounds just like their other single "Lookin' Boy" except on a different beat. But you can be the judge.

(Pharcyde - Ya Mama)

(Hotsylz - Yo Mama)

So if you ever find yourself playing the dozens like in the clip below from the show In Living Color now you know to go for the jugular like a vampire. In this case, the jugular being their momma. Just make sure you come correct with your punchlines. I don't want to hear anyone using my old 5th grade punchlines trying pretend like you just made them up. LoL. Finally, to that customer don't think that I forgot about you. I may not have gotten to say it to you over the phone but I certainly will now. Yo Momma is so hairy that she uses a riding lawn mower to shave her back. Matter of fact she hires you and your brothers to come by weekly and landscape it for her. To any Hispanic readers please don't take offense because in actuality the customer did work for a lawn service. LoL. (Oh and that wasn't stolen I made it up all by myself).

(In Living Color)

(White Chicks)

--C-Recks--