Low Profile

As the light turned green the driver began a left hand turn. As he turned he looked right and noticed a police car stopped at the red light. As he turned fully onto the street he said to his passenger "Damn the cops." The passenger replied "what did you do? You're not drunk are you?" "No I only had 2 beers with dinner."

As the light turned green for the cop car he immediately pulled up behind the driver. The driver then said to his female passenger "I'm about to be pulled over." She replied "what? Why? how do you know?"

The driver pops a mint in his mouth right before taking off at the next green light.

As the car passed through another major intersection, the cop shined his bright light and turned on the police lights to pull over the car. As the cop pulls up the driver begins to roll down the window. The cop has his hand on his gun and flashlight in the driver's face. He motions to him without saying it to "keep his hands where he can see them."

Next comes the questions and answer session, which covers everything except the color of your mom's vaginal walls when you were delivered during birth:

Cop: "What state are these tags from?"

Driver: Ohio Sir

C: They expired last year

D: Actually they are not expired you can see that someone tried to unsuccessfully steal and remove the tag

C: Whose car is this?

D: My girlfriend's she's right here.

C: Do you have a license?

D: Yes... *reaches for ticket in his wallet* I'm driving on a ticket, but I paid it and they still haven't sent me my license. Perhaps it got lost since I've moved.

C: You didn't change your address?

D: No not yet.

C: Well where are you coming from?

D: From Home

C: Where do you live

D: Give his exact address

C: How long have you lived there

D: A few months

C: [Speaking to the Girlfriend] You do know you're supposed to change over your tags within 30 days of moving?

GF: Yes, I'm here for school.

C: How long have you lived here?

GF: 2 months.

C: Where do you live?

D: Attempts to answer..."She"

C: Give look of I'm not talking to you nigger I'm asking her...

GF: We live together

As he speaks to the couple the cop continues to shine his light into the car looking for any suspicious items, drugs, guns, etc. The cop's partner is on the passenger side with his flash light doing the same. An under cover car pulls up as they're interrogating to ask if they need assistance. The cop waves them off & the Under cover car speeds off.

C: Do you have insurance.

GF: Yes I just have to look for it.

GF begins to look through the glove compartment for the insurance card. Pulling out papers from the glove compartment she gives some to the driver to look through as well. She finds a card but it is expired.

Cop walks away and goes to run the plates and license while they continue to search for the insurance card.

GF: I must not have put the updated card in here.

D: Oh well nothing we can do now.

Cop comes back to the driver side.

C: You need to remove that placard from around your plates because you can't tell what state it's from. Also, you need to get this registration changed over as soon as possible.

**hands license to the driver**

C: You folks have a good night.

D: Thanks

As the cop car pulls away. The couple begins to notice it wasn't just one car that pulled them over, as they begin to count together aloud...

D/GF: One, Two, Three, Four... Four Cop cars Wow!

D: And there was an undercover one I saw too but they just didn't stop.

The End...


The story above is a true story I am the driver and the passenger is my girlfriend. We were pulled over for no reason 2 nights ago. We were less than 5 minutes away from our home and racially profiled.

My story is one that has been told before not only by me, but by the many black males throughout the country that face this problem on a daily basis. Yes it's 2010 and guess what? No matter what people may think, racism and racial profiling still exists. I've seen it time and time again that I've been pulled over for no other reason than the fact I'm black.

Some would say "you're lucky you didn't get a ticket." Or it could've been worse. Well I guess I say to that. If I had've gotten a ticket it may have at least made more sense to me. It may have made it more random. But the fact none of that happened well it just goes further to prove my point. But again, my plight is not greater than any other black man in America. The only difference is that mine did turn out good. I only imagine how it would've turned out if I had've had a record. I'm sure they would've searched the car. But wait, I've had that happen to me in the past same situation same girlfriend, just a different car. So, all I can say to that is this is reality.

I once said that to know when the police are behind you for a black man is like a "6th" or "spidey" sense that you're about to be pulled over. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's just that when they do get behind you just anticipate that it's going to happen and being black means that the odds are in your favor that it will happen. Irregardless, the end result is the same. You get left feeling humiliated, embarrassed and pissed all at the same time.

Side Bar: I guess the only thing they haven't done to me yet is pull me over with my son in the car. That is a day I absolutely dread. The main reason being is this. When I was my son's age I witnessed my father handcuffed, arrested, thrown into the back of a cop car and accused of a crime he didn't commit. While I stood there and got to play on the police computer in the front seat. I could only imagine the thoughts that went through my dad's head at that time. I pray I never have to experience that situation, and pray that 10 years from now when my son is driving that things will have gotten better.

But I guess that's what it's all designed to do anyway. Especially if they can't actually pop you on any type of charges. Honestly, I can go on for days and days and honestly, the handful of times I've been pulled over probably don't even equal 30% of the times my brother has been pulled over. He drives for a living so unfortunately he's had to face this on many more occasions than I have. He keeps a tally of the # of times he's been pulled over but I don't.

**Sends text to brother to see his current total # of times he's been pulled over**

So the figure I got back was a whopping 42-44 times he's been pulled over. I don't know how far back he went with that statistic but regardless that's a lot of times to be pulled over. I would say in my lifetime it's probably been less than 15, so my 30% is just about accurate. To close I'm know that I'm working on 1 day being a successful business man. But regardless of what kind of money I make in the future as Kanye said "Even if you drive a benz you still a nigga in a coup."






I know this was supposed to be a comeback blog since it's been so long since I've written, but sorry that it turned out to be a long drawn out story.


--C-Recks--

@crecks on twitter follow for more daily insight.

Happy Halloween!!!

I'll be honest I'm not a big Halloween person. I haven't dressed up since...Damn I can't even remember but it's been that damn long. Since I've had a son I've of course involved myself in the "holiday" more than normal, but I still don't do too much. Ever since my son's first Halloween where I bought his costume I have somehow become the designated Halloween costume purchaser. And I'll be honest those damn costumes are far from cheap! It was easy when he was 1 and 2. But ever since 3 and up he's been able to express his opinion on what costume he wants. And I swear I pay at least $40 and up for each costume that gets 1 wear and that's it!!

I can actually recall each costume:
2004-Fireman $20
2005- Batman $20 + tax
2006 - Mater from the Movie CARS - $38 + Tax
2007 - James from Thomas the Train $38 + Tax
2008 - Blue Power Ranger $40 + Tax
2009 - Indiana Jones $47.47 with tax and shipping (Yes I had to order this costume from off line)

So in 6 years I've spent over $200 in just costume costs alone. If I keep this up by the time he's 16 I would have spent another $400 in costumes. If he's dressing up after 16yrs old we need to 1.) have a talk and 2.) have a job cuz I'm not buying it. Although $600 over 16yrs is not a whole lot of money spread out over time like that it's still not chump change. So to who ever said kids weren't expensive needs to be choke slammed and put in an arm bar until they tap out! lol. Well that's enough complaining because come next year I already know that I'll be investing another $40+ in a costume for Jr. regardless.

Plus now he's in school so I'm sure his costume requests will only get more elaborate and more expensive as he tries to out do his classmates. As for this year please don't ask why a 5 year old wants to be Indiana Jones. I blame it on the video game "Lego Indiana Jones" but I can't see many other kids recognizing who he is. But I don't think he even cares he was mostly concerned with making sure he had that damn whip as an accessory. Lord I pray no one catches a slave lashing from the boy in school. I'm not ready for those types of calls from the teacher.

Well that ends my mini Halloween rant. I hope everyone that celebrates Halloween enjoys their celebration. Please make sure everyone is safe when doing so. I'll be attending a party hosted by my son. So this should be very interesting. Oh and I've been told I must dress up for the party and I have no costume so this should be even funnier.

P.S. If anyone is looking for any of the aforementioned costumes come next year between sizes 12 mos - 5T they will all be posted on ebay or a craigslist near you. **praying his momma didn't throw out the old costumes** I'm trying to recoup some of those funds!! LoL.

P.P.S. My cousin sent me this damn video on Facebook she made. It features my brother and I, her and my other 2 cousins. I don't know why but the shit had me dying laughing out Loud Literally. So maybe someone else out there can get a quick laugh from it. Watch for my brother at the end of the video! Pure hillarity! Enjoy! Happy Halloween!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

--C-Recks--

Life After Death

"It sounded like Vietnam man."


I nor him had ever been in the Vietnam war; However, as he described the story it was reminiscent of stories told to me by my Grandfather who actually had been in the Vietnam war.


I sat there listening intently. I was in awe at the words coming out of his mouth. A lump formed in my throat that I couldn't even begin to attempt to swallow away.

"Man we kicked it out at club Ruby that night. We didn't get into it with anyone it was all good we had a good time. After the club we went to Maxwell's right off of the E-way. It was six of us in the van. As we're riding along I barely had 2 bites of my polish when bam!!

They began to shoot up the van. "Man it sounded like Vietnam."

"They shot over 20 times into the van. Elliot got hit 6 times. Then one of our other guys in the back seat also got hit once. We didn't see anything. It all happen so fast. The craziest part is that I was in the passenger seat. But after leaving the club I was cold and the driver had the air blasting so I was trying to change seats with someone in the back. But no one would switch with me. They even joked around and even threw me a blanket up to the passenger seat. So I could've easily been in that back seat as well."

"The only explanation the police could come up with was that it may have been some type of gang initiation. We were in a Hispanic neighborhood and you know those Mexican gangs you have to kill someone to be initiated."


The only response I could muster was man that's crazy. I mentioned it was so hard to imagine and I had just seen him the week before in the barber shop.

"Man I cut with him every day and have worked with him in different shops for 10 years, so imagine how it is for me. I still can't believe it. It still hasn't even hit me yet."

The subject then turned to his daughter. "Her 5th B-day was yesterday. I stopped by and dropped something off for her, but it just wasn't the same man." I replied "She's the same age as my son and also starting kindergarten next month." He replied back "Man my daughter is only a few years older. So that could easily be me."

As he said that I looked over at Elliot's old barber booth station. I noticed his barber chair was gone. However, they had created a make shift memorial in his honor. They had pictures up along with his obituary and flowers.

Of course still saddened by his loss. Seeing the memorial some how gave me a bit of comfort. I felt like it was great to honor his memory in that way.

If you read my last blog entry "Senseless" I talked about the tragic death of someone I knew Elliot Thompson, that was shot and killed a few weeks ago. The above story is recounted by someone that was there in the vehicle that he was shot in. Well a week prior to hearing the actual story I attended his funeral. Like all funerals this one was definitely a sad one. But for a few reasons this was sadder than most. Perhaps it was because he was still so young (only 31 years of age). Or perhaps it was because he was a young father (his daughter would be 5 this month and starting kindergarten next month). But when I think about it I think that what hit me most was the fact that I have seen myself in his place...

Let me explain what I mean when I state this. I am in no way a person that always discusses death. In fact, I don't even fear death. I realize it is something that will eventually happen and nothing I can do will prevent it when it's my time. So in my expect the worse hope for the best mentality, I simply hope and pray I stick around long enough to accomplish a few more things and see all those I love do the same.

However, when I think about death and really get around to answering the question of how and when I think I may kick the bucket, (buy the farm, push up daisies, meet my maker, give up the ghost or whatever death idiom you prefer), its pretty specific. Now I know you shouldn't speak n certain things because of the chance of speaking them into existence. However, as I stated and as we all know death is something that is unavoidable.

But to be real this incident that killed him was something that could have happened to anyone that was driving in that area at that particular time. I for whatever reason see myself going out in a sad unexpected manner such as this. Nothing that I provoked, nothing that I was doing reckless, nothing that was anticipated and I knew was bound to happen. However, I think it would/will be something swift and totally unexpected that will happen much before my time.

I say all that to say that today is barely promised and tomorrow is out of the question. It's a blessing of God that I'm sitting here typing these words. And if I'm here tomorrow to be able to do the same it's even more of a blessing. Life is precious. I enjoy living every single day I get to do so. Although I may see myself going out sudden and perhaps tragically, I pray God has a bigger plan for me, which includes living a long time and seeing my son (and/or future kids) and grand kids grow up and live their lives as well.

However, it's sad that some don't see just how precious lif is and will do things such as take another life. They don't even see how far past the person they're killing it affects. That's someone's father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandmother, grandfather, grandchild, etc.

For some reason it took me a good while to finally finish writing this blog as it stayed in draft for over a week. Sorry if it's all over the place.

But all I can say is embrace those you love and Live life. There are no guarantees in life except...Death.

Beat It!!

Considering we're all adults, I'm not sure why, but whenever a topic dealing with sex is brought up on this blog the comments are slim to none. But that's neither here nor there, I guess it just is what it is. With that said this is not going to be a long post about this subject. So don't worry. However, someone sent me this link to this article. The link is below, but I've actually copied the article for all to read it's short and sweet and I have one comment to make after you read it.

Article

March 11, 2009

Police: Son pleasures himself, then punches mom

DADE CITY -- It all started about 7 p.m. Tuesday, authorities said, when a mother looked outside and saw her 19-year-old son masturbating in the back yard.
The mother yelled. The son, Antwan L. Grandberry, 19, walked around to the front of the house on 13th Street in Dade City and rang the doorbell, according to a Dade City Police report. The mother answered and began cursing and yelling at Grandberry, who then punched his mother in her face, the report said.

Grandberry, who is listed as unemployed, was arrested on a domestic battery charge and is being held in the Land O'Lakes jail in lieu of $500 bail.

___________________________________________

Okay here's my final word and you can quote me on this...

"As if beating off wasn't enough you mean to tell me he had to beat up his momma too?"

SMDH!!

Not sure what's going on with people these days, but they said he was unemployed so maybe the economy to blame. Hell sounds like a plausible defense they blame it on everything else.

Well that's it for now.

--C-Recks--

Cereal Killer

So just like any given weekend my son is here with me. I will admit that he's a very picky eater. But he does get it honest. So when breakfast time rolls around and he's given the usual choices for breakfast, you never know what exactly he will choose. Well this morning he chose to have cereal. However, my son chooses to eat his cereal dry no milk. But will take a cup of juice on the side. Don't ask me why, but like I said the boy is a picky eater. Well this morning I decided to join him in a bowl of cereal. But as I was eating I asked myself a question that I have asked before. Am I too old to be eating some damn cereal?

I mean I've never seen any age restrictions on a box of cereal. But this morning as I was eating my cereal, I sat and thought should a grown ass man really be eating Fruity Pebbles? I mean just the name of the cereal alone doesn't sound like anything a grown ass man should be associated with. I guess Fruit Loops fits this same category. LOL. Now that's not necessarily my favorite cereal, but it's what we had in the cupboard at the time. I mean I very rarely will even eat breakfast at all. But the very few times I eat cereal, I will admit that I have a very strange way of eating my cereal. I'll break down how it works.

While most do the typical pour cereal in the bowl and add milk then eat, I choose a different approach. See my main goal in eating cereal is to avoid it getting soggy. I don't know about anyone else but soggy cereal is probably one of the most disgusting things there is. I have never liked it since a kid. I can't even watch someone else eat soggy cereal. And I hated when I got told "You better finish your cereal before you get up from the table" especially after it got soggy. Why someone has not invented a way to keep a cereal from going soggy behooves me to this day. I found this supposed "invention" online called the "New Angle Cereal Bowl" that's supposed to eliminate the cereal from getting soggy. You can watch the video of the commercial for yourself, but it seems very suspect to me. My version of eating cereal does the exact same thing if you ask me.

But anyways I digress. Back to my cereal eating process.

Step 1: Add Milk to bowl.

Step 2: Bring bowl with milk and spoon and box of cereal to table.

Step 3: Pour a small amount of cereal into the milk.

Step 4: Quickly begin to eat the cereal.

Step 5: After cereal in bowl is gone repeat steps 3, 4 and 5 until the milk is all gone.

Again, I admit that it's a weird process to eat a bowl of cereal but it eliminates the chance of it getting soggy. Small amounts of cereal poured in at a time limit this from happening. I will also admit that for this reason, when I eat cereal I don't really get to enjoy it. I feel like it's a race against time. I have to devour what's in the bowl before it gets soggy. This is one of the reasons I choose to eat cereal alone. Well there is another reason, but that is probably equally as strange. For some reason I can not sit and eat cereal with another person. Don't judge me. I will attempt to explain and plead my sanity case a little further. LoL.

I can remember being younger and at breakfast time my brother would sit across from me. But for some reason listening to him eat cereal just got on my damn nerves. I mean I'm so far from being the morning person. Therefore, already waking up being irritated and hearing him slurp down a bowl of cereal made me want to toss my bowl across the table at him. Sorry Bro, but it's true. LoL. If you asked he will probably admit that he felt the exact same about me when it came to cereal eating. I guess cereal is just not a quiet enough food to eat.

Lastly, I'm curious has anyone else ever done this nasty mess here. I remember my bro and I being at my cousins house. Now it was about 4 of them at the time so imagine a house full of 6 kids ranging from ages 5-10. Well when breakfast time came just like all little kids we wanted cereal. Well just like that scene in the movie Friday, we all poured up big bowls of cereal. And of course we go to the fridge for milk and there is none. Well we were all pretty broke in those days and we were told there would be no milk for this breakfast. I can't recall the culprit, but I have a clue. But someone yelled out I'm eating mines with water and proceeded to pour up. WTF? Water? I was going to eat mines dry like my son, but that ruined my entire appetite there. LoL. In an effort to keep the not snitching streak going I won't mention any names.

Well I don't know if me occasionally enjoying a bowl or 5 of cereal constitutes juvenile behavior but if so then it is what it is. If I could enjoy breakfast in bed (which I recently had. ;-) LoL) on the daily with pancakes, eggs, and bacon then I would stray away from cereal. But until then I will surely be enjoying a bowl of cereal every now and then. Not to mention I'm not a milk drinker so eating cereal allows my minimal amount of calcium intake. LoL. In closing gotta give a shout out to a few of my favorites.

Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, Fruit Loops, Honey Comb, and Golden Grahams. Oh and I found this one quite interesting. Obama O's. LoL. It's a damn shame, but someone's probably buying this mess. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Tons of Guns

"I got mines I hope you [got yourself a gun]" Nas - "Got yourself a Gun"

I'll be honest I don't listen to or really read the news. The reason being is because it's usually all bad news. So I can appreciate when ClnMike does his Good News Tuesdays. But last week I came across an article about a young 11 year old boy that killed his pregnant step mother with a gun. Well the twisted part is that apparently the gun used to kill the 8 month pregnant step mother was a youth 20-gauge shot gun that was given to the child. Just 2 weeks prior to this tragic event the boy won a turkey in a shooting competition. I just don't understand what some parents are thinking these days. This tragedy could have been prevented so easily. But now a woman and her unborn baby are dead, a young boy is facing life in prison for double homicide and a family is torn apart.

Now I know I started off with something a little depressing, but that story made me think about me and guns when I was a young boy. So on a lighter note I have a little confession. When I was younger like most young boys I had a fascination with guns. Upon saying that some may assume that I had plenty of toy guns to play with. Well actually it was the total opposite. My parents absolutely refused to buy or allow me to play with toy guns. Yep they were all off limits. Water pistol? Nope! Cap gun? Nope! Suction gun? Nope! Trust mom and dad vetoed them all.

So, as a young boy I was stuck at a crossroad. I mean how am I to play cops and robbers with no gun? What kind of cop or robber has no gun? So what was I to do? Well being the innovative young boy that I was (and still am) I didn't need an actual gun. Yes ladies and gentlemen I turned any and everything into a gun. I made guns out of legos, Lincoln Logs (that's old school for the younger readers out there. Lol), sticks, and of course my finger. Pow! Now as much as my parents tried to stop this behavior they just couldn't keep me from making more guns. As soon as they took one of my make shift guns away I would immediately grab something else, aim it at someone, and say POW! I think its just one of those things about little boys. Its somehow in their nature. Although I will admit I was an extreme case.

Likewise, my son's mother and I adopted the same philosophy to keep our son away from guns. But of course it doesn't stop him from running up on me with his finger or some other object and unloading on me. POW! Lol. Luckily for me his fascination is with cars and rarely thinks about guns or violent toys. As for me I eventually turned to sports cards and video games and my gun fascination died down some. However, when the super soaker was out I had to have one.
Again, the key word is it died down "some." I can recall at about age 12 a friend of mines and I bought these 2 toy guns. They resembled 9 millimeters. But what kept them from looking real was the fact they were painted in camouflage fatigue colors. Well in an effort to make them look realer we came up with the bright idea to spray paint the guns black. So, after spray painting the guns to the average untrained eye the gun really did look like a real 9 millimeter (similar to the toy gun to the left). Bright idea #2 came when we decided to actually carry these guns around. Yep just like they do in the movies in the waist band. Now we didn't do anything devious with these guns but we just carried them around to make us look or feel cool.

Fortunately, no one ever mistook the guns for real guns. However, there was one particular incident that I recall so vividly. Now let me first paint the picture. The year was around 1992 or 1993, the place Los Angeles, California (Technically the San Fernando Valley). So this was after the Rodney King verdict and L.A. riots. So tension between blacks and police were at an all time high. A 12 year old young black male walks out of a local mall. He has a toy gun spray painted to look realistic. A police squad car with 2 white officers in it passes by and they notice him reaching for what looks to be a gun. They immediately stop! They tell him to stop and one of the officers walks up to him and asks what he has tucked in his jeans. He pulls out a toy gun and immediately states "it's just a toy." Officer #1 replies "this thing looks real why are you carrying it?" The boy replies "for no reason its just a toy." Officer #2 states "don't you know we could have shot you thinking this gun was real?" The boy keeps quiet. Officer #1 says "we're going to give you a bag to carry this thing in."

Next, Officer #2 interjects and says "no better yet we're going to just drop you off at home. What's your name and where do you live?" The boy panics and tries to think fast. He gives his first name. They then ask him his last name. He attempts to think even faster. Well he didn't want to give his real last name, so the only thing that he could come up with quick enough was Mc Williams. "Mc Williams is your last name?" Officer #1 asks with a suspicious look on his face. He then sarcastically states "Okay then hop in the back we're gonna drop you off at home Mr. Mc Williams." On the trip the young boy realizes he can't be seen by his parents with a squad car dropping him off. So as they approach his apartment complex he tells them to stop at the building right before his. The officers let him out of the back and give him the gun in the bag. They leave him with a stern warning not to carry the gun out in public any more.

Well of course that young black boy was me. Whenever I think back to the incident I just think God was with me that day. Those cops could have shot me and would have gotten away with justifiable homicide because I decided to carry a fake gun. Then I laugh at me choosing the last name Mc Williams. There was a white girl in my class with the same last name so I guess that's all that came to mind in time. Back then I didn't realize that it was strictly an Irish last name. So the chances of a black man having that last name were the same of Rodney King still having some of the money left that he won in the civil trial. Although my brother once out drank an Irish man and called him self Dre Mc Williams, beyond that it wasn't a plausible alias. LoL.

I don't think my fascination with guns was quite the same after that incident. Pretty much non existent would describe it best. Although once my ex father in law (an ex-police officer) took me to the gun range once when I was about 21. That was the first real life gun I had ever held let alone fired. So I guess that allowed me to finally live out some childhood fantasy. Whatever the case may be a child does not have the mental capicity to handle real guns. Hell there are plenty of adults that shouldn't even be handling guns. So to purposely hand a child a real gun is a tragedy waiting to happen. Just my take on the story.

--C-Recks--

Myspace Madness

When we first started this blog our cousin made a comment. She said "if you're not making a personal diary on this blog then won't you eventually run out of things to blog about?" Well Cuzzo we're 9 months in and still going strong. As much as we try to not make this a personal blog, there are often times when certain things just get thrown in your lap. Well at that point you have no choice but to blog about them. I have a song I wrote called "Walk in my Shoes" and part of the chorus states "If you take a walk in my shoes and lace em' up/ you'll see that I'm for real man I can't make this up." So here is one of those situations.

Here's the background info: I'm not going to go personally into all of the nitty gritty, but let's just say due to certain circumstances my brother and I aren't the closest with our father. Now in recent months he's made attempts to rebuild the relationship. But to be honest, let's just say as Jay-Z said "It's a slow process and I ain't got nothing but time."

So a few days ago I get a weird text message. After reading it I realize it's a text message sent via yahoo messenger. The message happened to be from my father. So I'm in my head like "who in the hell put him up on yahoo messenger?" Not that he's too old or anything because my mom uses yahoo messenger at times. But for some reason it was just weird coming from him. So the message is general so I go ahead and reply. Then he begins to ask me about my music and when my cd is coming out. So I tell him and give him my myspace link www.myspace.com/crecksinkrowd. I think nothing of this innocent gesture as I felt if he was really interested he would appreciate seeing the site. He said he would check it out and that was the end of the convo. At least so I thought.

Well I got another of these texts from him last night. I was actually online at the time, so I just went ahead and IM'd him directly through yahoo messenger. He was going on saying how much he liked my myspace page and how professional it looked. Also, he stated that he was looking forward to hearing my CD. Now my father was into music way back in the days. But just like all musicians I guess you just never give up on the dream. So, he was going on about how he wanted to collabo with me (LMAO), how he can help me, about this artist he's producing, and how he knows so and so he can give my cd to. Blah blah, Yada Yada. So in parting he makes this statement. "Who are the ladies on your myspace page?" I'm like I don't know it's a music page everyone gets approved so it could be anyone. Some of them I know some are just myspace friends. So, he closes saying "Well I don't know which were which but Wow!! had me thinking... Never mind talk to you later son." I shook my head as he signed out of messenger and again thought that was that.

So not too long after that I go on to my myspace page to check my messages and play that damn Mafia Game I'm addicted to. LoL. So I notice I have a new friend request and a new message. I get all kinds of friend requests, so I never really pay attention to nor ever visit the pages of some of the clowns that send me requests. As I said everyone gets approved! So when I looked at this latest request. The name first stuck out. But I'm like Oh Hell No this just couldn't be. So I go to my messages and see I have a message from this person as well. I read the message and immediately start to "crack" the hell up like Bobby and Whitney. I go to the person's page and see the main picture and just begin to shake my goddamn head. I begin to read the profile and let out a WTF aloud. Can this nigga be serious?

I'm sure you guessed it by now. But yes my damn father had created a myspace page. Now my father brings about all kinds of hilarity just for no damn reason some times. I've referred to him as dad and father here, but trust he gets called a lot of names by us and neither of those are often spoken. Trust if I got down and personal I would have endless blogs that would have you dying a slow death from laughter. However, this officially took the cake. I immediately got on the phone and called my brother. When I tell him the story we're both damn near in tears. But wait here's the kicker. You ready? The nigga listed his age as 40!! 40? Are you serious? My brother is 30 and I'll be 29 this year. So you were 10 and 11 when you had us? Get the hell outta here. This so reminded me of the episode of Boondocks where granddad was on myspace meeting women. See the clip below.



See this is why certain technologies are dangerous when they fall into the hands of either young children or older people. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with older people being on myspace. So if any of your parents have myspace pages then more power to them. However, I do have a problem with MY parents being on there. In addition, I would have a problem with my parents frequenting the same club I hit up. I don't want to see pops trying to holler at young girls or mom's (not that she ever would) dropping it like it's hot. There just has to be certain boundaries that are set and respected.

So in an attempt to see if I was alone in this boat, I did some research and just did a quick browse on myspace for people ages 50 (my dad's real age) - 68 (the maximum age field myspace allows). Well apparently within a 250 mile radius of my zip code there were about 3000 people men and women that fit that search criteria. I clicked through a few pages and noticed the majority of them were white people. But I guess I felt a little better knowing that I'm not the only child being embarrassed by their parent.

I just find it funny that I just wrote a blog about being the cool dad to my son as he gets older. I mean I want to be up to date with slang and technology; however, at age 50 my son will be 26. By that time as cool as I would want to still be in his eye, I think I would have just embraced my old age.

I'm honestly still debating on whether to approve this friend request or not. The good thing with having over 1000 friends is that he would be buried in the pile. But there's absolutely no way in hell that he's going in my top friends. I'll keep a running update on how the new myspace adventures are going. I'm sure my brother will have to also state his take on the situation. So this definitely won't be the last you hear of this subject. All I know is if I get a friend request from my mom I'm closing that damn page down quicker than a buffet when a bus load of obese people pull up. LoL. Oh and to my cousin as long as I have gold like this I'll never run out of stuff to blog about. And by the way cuzzo you're in my top friends on myspace, so check your inbox. I'm sure that your uncle sent you a friend request too. So far he only has Tom and some unforsaken victim. LMAO!!

--C-Recks--

For the Cool in You

"Cause I am so cool, cool, cool..." Redman "SoopaMan Luva 3"

So last weekend I'm sitting with my son and we're playing video games. Then all of a sudden of the blue he says something that I didn't expect at all. He says and I quote "You know dad you're pretty cool." Well I couldn't help but to put on that Kanye smile as The Game said. well I guess I should say that C-Recks smile, check the picture below.

Don't laugh at me with my kool-aid smile. That pic was taken on election night and I had just used my same drink ticket for the 4th time in a row. I should sell this to Heineken for one of their advertisements. LoL.

Well after he made this statement I asked him why he thought I was so cool? He replied "because you play video games with me and stuff like that, so that makes me a cool dad." Well it is true we do sit around and play his race car video games for hours. So if that makes me cool I'll take it and bask in it for the moment. However, sometimes I wonder will I maintain be able this "cool" status in the years to come.

When I hear people (especially young people) say they want to have a baby or children for some reason my response is always "if you can help it...wait!" That's not to say that I don't love being a father, because it's one of my favorite things in the world. However, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Balancing being a parent, working, having social life, and hobbies seems to be a juggling act at times. I somehow by the grace of God am able to do it for the most part. But then there are times when my son reminds me that I'm definitely not 100% in balance. On my way to drop him back off this past Sunday he says "Dad I wish you got fired so you could be with me everyday not just weekends." After gasping, I had to correct what he said. "As much as I would love to be with you everyday dad can't get fired. So let's say I wish you could get a better job and have more free time." He agreed and repeated what I said. Although, I wanted to say no job = no child support which = dad in jail. Not to mention my slim frame is conducive with jail bids and the fact that soap is slippery. LoL.

When my ex was pregnant her and I thoroughly discussed how we wanted to raise our son. Of course we didn't stay together so certain things were altered, but as they said "best laid plans." But that didn't change what I needed to do as a father for my son. I know I'm old (getting old), but I still feel young, so my son confirmed how I feel. I feel like I'm cool as a fan or the other side of the pillow. You pick one of those Stewart Scott one liners. I think I'll always try to keep my ear to the street as my son gets older. I can't have him pulling one over on me because he thinks I'm too old and out of touch with slang and what's going on in his young world.

For example, a while back a friend of mines asked me about a slang word. Now she's older than I am, maybe in her mid to late 30's. She has 3 teenage sons. In the past she's come to me to ask me about different slang words. Well apparently her sons had been using this term around her and wouldn't tell her the meaning. So at one point she's talking with the kids and they used the term and since they wouldn't tell her what it meant she just started saying it too. "Well if that's the case I'm a "Blank" your brother is a "blank" and your dad is also a "blank." So, the kids simply laughed at her and she was still left in the dark. As she's telling me this story I'm like NO! you didn't say that did you? She's like yeah I did why? So I go ahead and explain to her what the term means. She was shocked and says "I'm gone get they asses!" LoL. I laughed but then I thought man I gotta stay on my slang game even when I get older.

Just in case you're trying to fill in the blank, the word she/the kids were saying was Bust Down! SMH!!

Now I realize that I won't always be the cool dad. So I need to bask in this coolness while I can. There will be a time when I will be replaced as his video game buddy by one of his boys. The same goes for when it comes to going out riding bikes, going to the mall, the arcade and all the other cool things we do together. Eventually, dear old dad will not be cool enough to hang out with Lil' C. I'll get the "I'll just call you when it's time to pick me up speech." Or the "Can you drop me down the block because I don't want anyone to see you dropping me off." So when that day comes I won't let my feelings get hurt. I'll just think back and say. "Hey there was a time when you thought I was cool. And trust in 5 or so more years when you're 18+ years old I'm sure I'll gain that status back again."

--C-Recks--

Child Abuse

By the title of this post you're probably automatically thinking that I'm referring to some sort of physical or verbal child abuse. First off I must say that I am in no way making a joke or mockery of child abuse. However, as horrible as those types of child abuse are, I think there is a child abuse that is over looked. Whenever, I see this behavior exhibited I want to immediately get on the horn and call DCFS. There are certain parents that suffer from what I'm going to refer to as: IknowyougotnotalentbutIdon'twannahurtyourfeelings. I would form that into an acronym but it would probably look like something my son typed. (IKYGNTBIDWHYF) LoL. For an example please check out the video below.



We've all seen it, season after heart wrenching season on the show American Idol. the new season just began earlier this month. I like some of you, used to look forward to this show just to see the opening weeks auditions. I just wanted to get a quick laugh at the talentless individuals that make fools of themselves. Well probably 3 or 4 seasons ago I could not take any more. I just had to ask myself where are these kids parents at? Although it's funny to watch, it's really more sad than anything. It began to feel like I was watching a child get beat over and over. I mean I've seen a kid or 20 get spanked before in my lifetime. Initially it's pretty funny (don't judge me for laughing), but to see them get spanked over and over and over eventually saddens me.

Whenever I watch the show auditions I'm always left wondering who let them go on this show? I mean who heard them sing and actually encouraged them to go audition? Well if it was friends I don't fault them. Maybe they just wanted a good laugh or something to blog about. However, when I see the parents consoling their crying kid after Simon rips them a new one, I just have to Shake My Head. Then it amazes me that the parents have the nerve to get upset and say that "the judges are wrong and can't recognize talent if it bit them in the ass."

Well I have a message to those parents. Yes we all love our kids and we want them to think they are the best and encourage them to be the best at any and everything they do. However, as parents we must be realistic. At a certain age (I would say by the teenage years) this has to stop. By this age you and your child(ren) should be able to understand that there are some things they're great at, some they're just average at, and some thins they just suck at. Therefore, when you hear them sing and you can barely stand it, what makes you think others will enjoy it?

Unfortunately, I don't know what all of my son's talents hidden talents will be 10 years from now. His grand dad taught him to play drums. So, I know at 5 he can already play a mean set of drums already. And when I say play I mean like really play not just banging them to make noise. I was amazed when I first saw him doing this. As a producer, I can play the hell out of a drum machine and make a tight beat (See Left). However, I'm not coordinated enough to play a set of drums. Lol. Also, I wish I could put it on here, but I got pics and video of him lip [rapping] syncing to a song and holding this microphone. Sorry, but I got a rule about not posting pics or videos of my son anywhere online. But trust me It's too hilarious. I've never taught him any of this showmanship, but I can see he's a natural performer.

In the end I think it boils down to if you love your kids you have to love them enough to be honest with them. Yes it may be hard for me to sit my son down and tell him that he's not that talented in a certain thing. However, I would rather him hear it from me someone that loves him, than someone that loves them. It's far better than letting him go on TV in front of millions of people to only embarrass his damn self. I would be more than glad to help him develop whatever the talent he lacks skills in. But to fill his heads with lies knowing he is no good to me would be child abuse.

Speaking of abuse. No offense but even Joe Jackson's non parenting ass had sense to beat his kids until their talents were flawless. LoL. Now that is truly not funny and of course extreme. But I tend to just think of it in terms of your child liking or being in love with a girl or guy that you clearly see just isn't into them. They obviously don't see it, but are you going to sit back and let their heart constantly be broken over and over as they get rejected by that person? Or are you going to Man Up and just say hey son or daughter they're not into you like you are them. But don't worry you're wonderful regardless and there are others [talents] that will appreciate you the way that you should be? But then again perhaps it's just me and my keep it real mind state.

Well to all you American Idol fans have fun watching the new season I'm sure there will be plenty laughs to be had at more talentless kid's expenses. But don't feel bad when you're on the floor breaking your back to laugh. Because behind it there is a parent to blame. So to those parents I must say Shame On You!

--C-Recks--

I Got The Hook Up!!

"I got the hook-up, Holla if you hear me. Ugggnnnhhh!!" - Master P

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone mention that they have the hook up on this or that I wouldn't be rich, but let's just say I'd be a little more financially stable than I presently am. I mean I like anyone else, enjoy a deal as opposed to paying the full price. However, if you've ever experienced a "hook up" why does it seem like the savings you're getting are never quite worth the hassle?

While some people live and die by them, honestly I personally don't look for hook-ups. Now every so often they may get presented to me and at that time I weigh out the worth of what I'm saving as far as time/money vs. how much I want what the hook up is. For instance, over a year ago I'm walking home from work and minding my own business. I walked past an Indian market and saw 2 black guys in there. Okay at that point I was no longer minding my own business I was being nosey and also making sure nothing was about to go down. LoL. I mean why were these black guys in this Indian store? So I slowed down and saw they were trying to sell something, which I figured from the start. My eye spied a box that looked like a Playstation 3. So I slowed my walk down to a halt. I waited around for them to come out of the store. As they came out I asked what they were selling. They confirmed it was a brand new PS3 and that the Indian dude wouldn't bite. So, I inquired as to how much they wanted if I could check out the merchandise. They showed it and gave me a price which was substantially below retail value. The box was brand new and they proceeded to open it in front of me.

See this lesson I learned a long time ago from my Uncle Michael. I was maybe 7 or 8 could have been younger. However, all I remember was my father clowning my uncle because the fool bought a VCR from someone on the street. And when he went home and opened it well it was a box of bricks. LMAO.

So, I first inspected the goods and could see they were inside Styrofoam and all. This was legit. I didn't ask where they acquired said merchandise nor did I want to know or care. I made a quick call to my brother and confirmed that the asking price was well below the actual and completed the transaction. My Ps3 worked and has worked fine ever since I purchased it. Now that is a great hook up if you ask me.

Now it is very rare that I take advantage of hook ups because I am probably the biggest skeptic in the world. Think of the saying "believe none of what you hear and half of what you see." Well even if I see it right in front of me and can touch and feel that it's real I'm probably going to still question it. So anyways, over this Christmas season I won't front some situations had me just a bit strapped for cash. A few weeks ago my best friend informed me of a hook up one of her co-workers knew about. Without disclosing exactly what the hook up was, basically you could pay this particular bill to the hook up man and they would double what you pay them on your bill. So if your bill was $80 you pay them $40, they most likely pocket the $40, but somehow the $80 on your bill is paid.

When I was told this I didn't think anything of it and told my BFF that I'm good I'll just continue to pay that bill the regular way. Well that was until an unexpected charge appeared on that bill. I was then faced with a tough decision. Pay the bill entirely and be dead broke over the Holidays or try out this hook up. Damn! Although, I had met my BFF's co-worker once before, I didn't know this 3rd Party person or how this hook up worked. However, I was desperate and went against my better judgement (which I rarely do). So, the co-worker makes the call and I'm to meet up with the 3rd Party at where they work. Now the bill I was getting taken care of was not like a $50-$100 bill. It was a lot more than that or else I would not have even considered this avenue and would have just paid it.

So I meet with the 3rd party at the location and the individual turned out to be Arab (Clue #1-I don't trust Arabs for some reason. No offense to any of them but they just seem shady to me and this one was slick talking as hell). Now for some reason I was expecting this 3rd party to be a brotha name Tyrone, but it just wasn't the case. So I walk up to him confirm he's the guy I'm looking for, but he acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about (Clue #2-I hate secrets and secretive actions. I don't like code names and code words if I can't speak openly about it then I don't like to deal with it). But he quickly says "oh [co-worker's name] sent you right?" I'm like yeah she did. He then rips the corner piece of paper off of a larger sheet and hands it to me. He explains for me to write down my name and account information and give him the money. I proceed to do as I'm told.

He then says "okay give it 24-48 hours and the payment will be posted to your account. I then ask a dumb question, but excuse me I'm just too used to dealing with legit establishments. "Can I get a receipt or something showing this transaction?" The guy laughs (Clue #3 - I know I can often be funny and make others laugh, but don't laugh at me when I'm being serious about something, I hate that) and says "there is no receipt. Your girl [co-worker's name] is your receipt. She knows how this works and if you have any problems just come back and see me." Again the skeptic in me wanted to tell this fool to give me my damn money back and get the hell out of here. Unfortunately, the desperation in me talked me into saying alright give it a chance because if it's a legit hook up you are golden and can continue to come back to utilize it. So I studied this guys face very closely before I left. I figured just in case things went bad I could make sure I was whoopin the right person's ass over my money.

Alright, so this original transaction took place on Monday December 15th. So I'm expecting my bill to be paid by Wednesday evening. But Wednesday comes and when I checked online guess what? It wasn't paid! So I ask my best friend to holla at her girl [co-worker] and see what's the deal. She tells me she texted and called the 3rd Party and he didn't respond. So come Thursday I again ask my best friend to see what's the deal with her girl. Well this time her girl's response is almost on some well I'm not in it type fashion and that's between them. Not to mention she wouldn't give up the 3rd party's phone number. So my skepticism leads me to believe that maybe this chick [the co-worker] is in on this shit and they just stuck me for my paper like Biggie said? Well I knew that the following day was going to be my best friend's graduation; therefore, I didn't want to keep burdening her about this especially given she had other stuff to deal with. So, I let it alone and figured I would just go back up there over the weekend.

All day Friday I had been checking online to see if the payment was posted, but nothing. Same thing Saturday and nothing. So Sunday evening I popped up on the 3rd Party. Now the first time I was more in business mode. This time I was more in "wish a nigga would mode" and it showed. He tries to play as if he didn't know who I was and asked "can I help you?" I tell my man's "look you already helped me on Monday and said 48 hours it's been 5 days why you bullshitting me?" So, he proceeds to thumb through a pile of about 20-30 of these scraps of paper with peoples names and account info written on them (Clue #4 - Not sure if this was a good or bad clue on one hand I'm like he obviously does this all the time if he has all these sheets, but then I'm like it's a scrap of paper this shit can get lost at any point then what?). He gets about midway through the pile and pulls out my name/account info. He then picks up the phone and calls someone and begins speaking his native tongue (Clue #5 - Anyone can pick up a phone and speak something in a different language especially if the other person doesn't understand them). This tactic didn't move me, he could have been calling his girl having phone sex at that moment and I still wouldn't have known what he was saying.

So he gets off the phone and tells me it'll be posted in another 24-48 hours. Now by this time I'm cursing (remember "wish a nigga would mode") "that's the same shit you told me on Monday either make this happen or run my cash back." He says "I assure you it will be posted some times it can take up to a week ask your girl." I say "she ain't tellin me shit so I don't know what the procedure is all I know is my shit ain't paid." He asks "what do you think I'm taking your money?" and proceeds to pull out a wad of cash. Off eyes, glance it was maybe $600 or so. He says "I have money thanks to God (Clue #6 - don't they worship Allah? Could be an ignorant assumption but still suspect all in all) I'm not trying to take your money I'm just trying to help people out get them half of their bill." I tell him "first off if you subtract what I gave you, your pockets ain't all that laced, second of all I don't give a fuck about other people or all that madness you talkin I just want my bill paid." He then says "here take my number if there is any problem you call me, no better yet text me and I'll respond right away." Now I won't front this made me feel a little more at ease, because now I wouldn't have to have my best friend bothering her co-worker on the daily about this. Now I could simply go directly to the source. Also, I figured if shit got any worse I know exactly how to track this cat via his phone number.

So I take his number and dial it and make sure his phone rings. It does and I lock the number in my phone. So I started my vacation the Friday of my best friend's graduation and was going to be off all week. Well guess what? Another 48 hours passes and still no payment posted. Now this shit is messing up my vacation. I'm supposed to be on relax mode and the company I owe this bill for is calling me every hour on the hour. So I call up 3rd party and of course get a voice mail. I was about to text him then I get a text from him saying "what's up?" I'm thinking I know he don't think we just cool like that. So I text him back saying "it's been 48 hours still nothing and they keep calling and probably about to disconnect my services. If you can't make it happen then give my money back." He replies "I'll be there after 5." So, after 5 comes and mind you it's snowing in the Chi on this day. We had a few snow storms back to back and the roads are terrible. Now this drive is probably about a 30 minute drive on the street on a regular day, but over an hour in snow traffic. I hate the snow!

So I get there and walk up and guess what? He's not there! (Clue #7 - This MF out Christmas shopping with my money and had no plans of coming in). At this point I'm fuming, if I was a cartoon you could see the fumes rising from my forehead. I walk up to the guy that was manning his station and ask where 3rd party is. He said "oh he didn't come in, he lives far away and it's snowing so he couldn't make it here." I'm thinking I just traveled in this damn snow and made it but he decides to call off, ain't that some convenient bullshit. So I tell the guy the story and he then hands me a small piece of paper and tells me to write down my info again. He gets on the phone and also begins talking in his native tongue. Of course he gets off the phone and says what? "It's done just give it 48-72 hours." I'm like "the other guy said the same shit it's been over a week." He says he knows but I guess whatever blather he just said in his language some how insured it would be done this time. He promises and gives his word that within 72 hours this would be done. Unfortunately, at this point I can't do shit but take his word, but if it was the other guy I'd demand my cash. Although I can't lie I eyeballed the laptop the guy was on and appraised it to be worth about the same amount as I gave the 3rd party. But I then thought that snatching the laptop and running to my car could get me a felony charge and I didn't want to be in jail on Christmas. So I walk out hoping that his word is bond.

Another 48 hours (Damn I feel like Eddie Murphy) passes and nothing. But well it's Christmas and nothing happens on Christmas right? Plus it's been a good one so I try not to worry about it and proceed to enjoy my day. Next day still nothing. It's been 72 hours. My phone still blowing up, at least they took a break from calling on Christmas though. I'm probably the most patient person there is but everyone has a boiling point. I had my son for the weekend and was enjoying his company so I didn't even bother going up there. I figured I'd make the trek on Sunday. But guess what happens Sunday morning at like 3am? Yep my services are disconnected. WTF? Are you serious? So Sunday I already knew what the mission was going to be. I didn't go up there first thing in the morning I figured the later it got the better chance I catch the 3rd party up there. I didn't text him, I didn't call him.

But as I'm getting ready to go up there my son's first tooth came out! So that made my mood better and I was extremely happy and excited. So after taking some pics and him asking me about the tooth fairy I got ready to go. Prior to leaving I was on the phone with my brother and made the comment to my son "whatever you get from the tooth fairy hold it down because your dad may need bail money." He didn't get what I was saying but my brother laughed.

I actually decided to bring my son with me thinking that if he's there it will lessen the chance of me choking this dude out. Also, it crossed my mind that if nothing else he may be able to collect some more teeth for the tooth fairy and raise this bail money quicker. LoL. So we walk in and I see the 3rd party and also the other guy who promised me. Great! I had to wait in a bit of a line. Now I don't know if it was time for the other guy to leave, but when he spotted me he grabbed his coat and left (Clue #8 - If looks could kill, he caught my stare and dodged a bullet and wasn't sticking around for the next to enter the chamber). So, I walk up to the 3rd party and don't even have to say anything. He grabs the paper with my name on it and gets on the phone immediately. As he's on the phone I tell him "hey don't even worry about it just run my cash." He says "hold on one minute I'm just finishing up with this customer if you wanna have a seat I'll be right with you." I immediately notice that the distance from the seating area would give him enough time to escape like his boy did, and say "naw I'm waiting right here."

So, as he's on the phone I notice him reach in his pocket and count his money. Funny some how his cash flow had mysteriously decreased greatly from the previous time he was flaunting and thanking God. Next, I watch him go into the cash register and start counting money. My eyes are that of an eagle ready to swoop on their prey. I count right along with him, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100, etc. Yep that's enough to cover what I'm owed so I don't wanna hear no BS. So, he finishes with the customer and goes back to the register and takes out the money owed to me and says "here you go, but if you can give me 5 minutes. I can take care of this right away for you." I tell him "man don't even waste your time because if you were gonna do it it would have been done it's been 2 weeks and now my services are disconnected. Just run my change and I'll just go pay the stuff (notice the edit version, my son was with me) like I should have from the beginning messing with y'all and this bull." So I took my cash and left. I went and paid the bill and got my services back on and no one got hurt.

But of course there is a lesson learned from this one for me at least. First, don't trust anyone and they damn hook ups no matter how desperate you are or how great they seem. Next, If it's too good to be true it most likely is. Third, If it's not a tangible product that you can touch, smell and or taste don't even play yourself out. Lastly, always follow your first instinct. In this case mines was telling me to not even try doing this dumb shit. But honestly even if in the end the 3rd party had gotten the bill taken care of, the hassle and headache was not even equal. He would have had to do that plus throw me $50-100 to make it even. So next time I hear those famous words "I got the hook up" you can miss me. Don't holla ya hear me?

--C-Recks--

Any Given Son Day

November 28, 2008

Dear Son,

It was almost 5 Years ago to the day when your mom and I realized you were indeed on your way. It was November 29th 2003. It was around 1am in the morning. I was up late as always, but I can't recall what I was doing. I believe your mom was sleeping. However, something awoke her. I'm sure it had something to do with you moving around. She said she had to use the bathroom. So I helped her up and as she stood up she said I think I peed on myself. Well she then went to the bathroom to clean up. But she came out and said I don't think this is pee. After making a call to your grandmother and to the doctor she was able to determine that a portion of her water had broken.

So we packed up and drove to the hospital. Your mom did all the hard work I just tried to be supportive and not get on her nerves. But almost 22 hours later at about 10:50pm that night you were born. I remember when your head popped out, the doctor pulled you out, and your eyes were wide open and you looked right at me. In between tears I smiled, as the doctor wrapped you up and handed you to your mom. She quickly called me over to hold you as well.

It was hard to imagine that I had spent almost 9 months talking to you through a barrier of stomach that grew by the day. You used to kick whenever I talked to you. But then and there I was holding and talking to you in the flesh. I had overwhelming feelings of joy, happiness, nervousness and even fear. Yes me the self proclaimed fearless man was scared at that moment. The thought that your life was essentially in my hands had me scared to death. The thoughts of what kind of father I would be to you, and would I be able to do this job forever had me fearful. But I vowed to you even less than hours old that I would do any and everything to take care of you and be there for you.

Well it didn't take too long for me to get the hang of the parenting thing. However, there was trouble on the home front. I can and will explain to you the entire story as you get older and are curious as to what happen. But a long story short your mom and I ended up splitting up and eventually divorcing. I had to make some of the hardest decisions of my life during those rough times, but in the end I feel like I made the best decision when considering you. It was difficult to make such decisions and not want to be selfish. However, I had to take a look at a much bigger picture which went beyond just myself.

You may hear different variations of the story when you get older, but I have no problem being open and honest when you're able to handle it. You weren't old enough to remember your mom and I ever being together. Which in part I find a good thing most times. The way your life is now is how you have always known it to be. So you don't remember some of the back and forth and changes that took place back then. Regardless of what has taken place, just know it had nothing at all to do with you. And in many ways what took place forced me to be the man I needed to be. The man I needed to be for myself and for you.

When I think of you being five years old it is still hard to imagine. Time flies is all that I can say. I mean I can truly recall it all like it was yesterday. From your first words (which were da da don't let anyone tell you different), to your first steps, your first fall (I dropped you), and recently your first dentist trip (I took you, poor thing you shook like a leaf you were so scared). I've made sure that I have been there every step of the way. Not only financially, but also physically and emotionally there as an active father in your life. Besides a hand full of weekends out of town and when for whatever reason your mom had something else planned, I don't/didn't miss a weekend spending quality time with you. The same goes for calling and talking to you on a nightly basis.

Over these five years I've watched us begin a bond as father and son that is undeniable. I wouldn't give it up for anything or anyone in the world. It reminds me of how I was with my father when I was a kid. Unfortunately, that relationship slowly whithered away over the years due to some circumstances that I will reveal to you later as well. But I vow to you that I won't let anything get in between us remaining close and me being a constant in your life. In the next 5-10 years I'm sure you'll be experiencing many more firsts. Including, your first day of school (real school), first crush (Kim Possible doesn't count), first heart break (sad to say but it's going to come), first fight, etc. Just know that you will have me there for you and there to help guide you through each of those events and more.

I love you so much and I am so very proud of you. And even prouder to call myself your Dad. I wish you the happiest 5th birthday ever and so many more to come.

Love,

Your Dad.


--C-Recks--

It's A One-derful Life

Chorus:

"I been looking for the One but she's so hard to find, so I guess I gotta grind, until the stars align, Don't mind, waiting if it's gone take some time, but I wish someone would just show me a sign..."

Verse 1:

"I searched the ends of the earth and still haven't found, someone to hold me down, and wear my crown, I need a queen is that too much to ask? Someone with class, that's gone erase my past? Cuz I done been through (been through) heartache and pain, and I'm getting too old to be trying to play games, and I done changed (changed), my ways a lot, but my heart kinda empty there's a vacant spot, I'm just looking for the one to fill, and come for real, if I'm broke with bills, or holding a mil, still, she gone be there, it's only fair, and I won't even lie it's getting lonely here, I need love like L, sometimes it might fail, and you gone get used like drugs that hypes sell, it's like hell, so I gotta see heaven quick, the rest irrelevant, I want someone that's heaven sent. I want the one..."

C-Recks - "The One"

The above song lyrics come from a song I wrote and produced entitled "The One" which appears on my upcoming album Ripped from the Headlines (Shameless plug I know). Well I have had this conversation with people in the past. But I still question, is there really a such thing as The One? I mean is there really that one soul mate that God created for each and every one of us somewhere out there in the world? Are they searching just like you and waiting for that opportunity for your paths to cross?

These are questions I often ask myself. If you've read anything on this blog that I've written in the past then you know that I often reference the fact I used to be married. Marrying and then divorcing will often cause one to lose their faith in the love and marriage area. So I often question the existence of "The One." Although I'm very content with my current situation, it doesn't mean that I don't have the same human characteristics as anyone else. You know what I mean. The wanting to be loved, and wanting to give your unconditional love to another.

Now I say that; however, I'm not the type that will just settle for any old relationship. Nor am I the type that yearns to be loved so much that I will accept the first or next person the comes along trying to give me their love. Truth be told if I just wanted any old relationship I could have had that by now. But maybe I'm too specific in what I want. Some may call it high standards I just say I'm waiting on "The One."

I mean there's someone for everyone right? At least that's what the advertisements for the Internet dating sites want us to believe. LoL. I recently saw an on-line article stating that world's heaviest man (700 lbs) just got married. Now I'm in no way trying to talk about him or hate on him. But if this man can find someone to love all 700 pounds of him, then there's got to be someone for my buck and some change frame. LoL. If nothing else, I think this guy getting married illustrates one of the greatest things about real love. It shows the fact that it's truly unconditional. When I love again I want someone that will accept me as I am. Flaws and all. Not someone that says "well I really like this about you, but you can stand to change this or that." As the saying goes if you can't accept me at my worst you don't deserve my best." Well who knows when that time will come when my One comes along. But I found some words I wanted to express to her now. Please continue to read on while Ruben Studdard helps co-sign on the previous point.

Ruben Studdard - "Change me"

Dear "The One, "

Where ever you are and who ever you are there are some things I want to say to you in advance. I have so much love to give to you that it's not even funny. And believe me when the time comes I will love you unconditionally as you are. I won't try to change the person that you are. All I ask is that you do me the same. Below I've listed some of the things that make me, well me. They are in no particular order of course.

1. Please accept the fact that I am slim in stature and no matter how much I eat I have never and probably will never be able to gain any significant weight. I've always been this way. Call it high metabolism, good genes, or whatever you want. But please feel free to cook all you want to try and fatten me up as I love to eat.

2. Accept that I drink. Nothing excessive of course. But I mainly drink beer. After a long hard day of work there is nothing better to come home to than you, a great meal and a nice cold beer (or 2 or 4). LoL. But I promise I would never let beer or alcohol affect me or us in any way. Hell I don't even have a beer belly (review #1).

3. I have a son and he is truly my world. We are a package deal. Therefore, if you accept me then you must in turn accept him. He is a lot like me so you should have no problem getting along with and eventually loving him too. But I warn you he gets attached to people fast. So if you don't get to meet him right away just know that's the parental instinct in me. Also, he's a little flirt too, so don't be surprised if he has a bigger crush on you than me. And don't worry me and his mom have absolutely no drama going on. So rest assured that you'll never be put in a drama type situation when it comes to my son.

4. I have a passion for music. I have been into music since a young boy. I really got deep into it when I started to write and perform. I would love to eventually turn my passion into a career. But at the same time I'm rational and know that the odds of that happening are slim to none. So, I still work my regular 9-5. However, being that this is my passion I will always be doing it regardless of whether a career ever begins. So accept that some nights I may be in the studio doing what you may even consider nothing or even a waste of time. But please don't ever say that. I'm just doing what I love. Don't worry I promise that I will never let it take away from the time we spend together. Besides I'm a little talented I even wrote and produced the song above [The One] about you before I even met you.

5. I tend to be like most men and hide and don't show my emotions too much. Well just know that the only reason for that is because I was probably the opposite a long time ago and was criticized by the person I was with for it. So now I'm this way. I know it may seem as if certain things don't move me emotionally, but know that is probably not the case. I have a heart and once I've allowed you in it I can't control certain emotions and feelings. Therefore, if you hurt I hurt, if you cry I cry even if it's not seen outwardly.

6. I am a man of few words the majority of the time. I know I write these blogs and can say and express so much. But on average I don't say too much. You may tell me about your day and have a million and one things to say about what took place. However, if you ask me how my day was, 9 times out of 10 I'm going to respond in one of a few different ways. "It was OK, aight, cool, or deeso." This doesn't mean that I don't want to let you know how my day was or that I'm hiding something. However, if it's not interesting to me I usually won't speak on it. My daily mundane activities at work don't thrill me and I wouldn't expect them to thrill you or anyone else. Every now and then I have something happen that's interesting, but those days are few and far between. However, I will listen intently to every detail of your day and respond accordingly.

7. I'm hard to read. You may never be able to tell what it is that I'm thinking at a particular time. However, please don't try to speculate or assume. If you want to know all you have to do is ask and I will share. Not much upsets me or gets to me, but I can't stand assumptions especially incorrect ones. I hate arguments and fights and avoid them at all costs, even if I have to apologize knowing I did nothing wrong. Most times I probably have something similar to the patience of Job. But making an incorrect assumption will for sure upset me, possibly prompt an argument and test my patience for sure.

8. I'm not ballin and I may never be. If this music thing never makes it to the majors or mainstream, I may be stuck working a typical 9-5 until retirement. I will always work my ass off for the man just to keep what we have stable and try to get more. I may not make 6 figures; however, I will always be striving to make more to provide for us. Even if that takes me going back to school (which I plan to do hopefully next year), starting my own business, or even working 2 and 3 jobs.

9. I know that after we make hot passionate love for an hour or more that you want me to cuddle with and hold you. However, that's rarely going to happen. I may start off that way but most likely I'll end up on my side with about a foot of space between you and I. Please don't think that I don't like holding you or that the sex we just had wasn't worthy of you being held afterward. Neither is the case. I just have a particular way of sleeping. I get hot in my sleep and my instinct is to move away from the heat source. I may move from you, then remove my blankets all in the middle of my sleep. But then I'll probably get cold, so don't be surprised if you find me snuggled up next to you again at some point in the middle of the night. Just know it still won't last long. LoL.

10. I like to dress a certain way. My clothes do not make me who I am. I am who I am regardless of how I dress. I'm not saying that I walk around in bummy clothes or anything. It's quite the opposite. However, my love of hip hop and music pretty much dictates my wardrobe. I know that I am close to 30 and some may say "you should dress your age." But I say I'm doing me. So if that means wearing a hoodie, a fitted hat, and some Air Force Ones, then that's how you'll find me most of the time. It doesn't mean that I'm a thug or hood, because I'm far from it. It's just how I dress. Now that doesn't mean that I don't know how to switch it up given the occasion. I have plenty of casual clothing that I can wear when I take you out on a date. Also, I have suits I can wear when we're going to so and so's wedding, graduation, etc. But please accept this and don't try to force me to wear what you want me to wear.

P.S. There are plenty more things about me, but I will end it with these 10. Just keep in mind that curse (kind of a lot), I look young (not at all like I'm about to be 30 soon), I may or may not want any more kids (I'm on the fence about this one), my credit is bad (divorce hurts more than your heart), I don't attend church (at this time at least), I'm not that handy, Etc.

If you can accept these things about me and not try to change me, then you will have a man that will love and do almost any and everything to make you happy. A man that will love, honor, respect, and cherish your very being. Because just by accepting me for me you will be making me happy. So I would want to return that type of love to you at almost any cost. And we will truly have a wonderful life.

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Cory.

Now that I look at it all written out like that I guess those are a lot of things to accept. Perhaps that's why there can only be 1, One. Many are called but One is chosen as they say. Depending on the response to this I may post the second verse of the song which goes into a little more depth and reply to it as I did here. We'll see.

--C-Recks--