Testimony Tuesday

Well we had to take a week off due to just being down right busy. But we're back with another Testimony Tuesday. I know it's still a day late because it's Wednesday, but at least we're back. We had quite a few e-mails over the break, and as usual we can't get to them all but here is the latest Tuesday Testimony.

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Bros,

Ok here's the situation. I got involved with this girl a few months back. She's a real laid back cool ass chick. Attractive, funny, smart, etc. all the good stuff a guy would want in a girl. Well you know how everyone has a deal breaker when it comes to relationships and dating? Well mines is dogs. I truly can't stand the filthy muts! And I always vowed I would never date a chick with a dog.

Well when I met this girl I didn't know at first about the dog but within a week of knowing her quickly found out. Well as you and any fellas know when it comes to a fine woman a guy will compromise certain things. So I decided as long as I don't have to be around the dog then it shouldn't really affect me. So I went ahead and lied about my dislike of dogs and significatnly downplayed how much I hated them. Basically she thought I was cool with them.

Well gradually as we progressed thinking that I didn't have a problem with dogs she started bring the dog around more and more. Long story short now I'm in too deep in dog shit! Literally!! She's got me dog sitting, walkiing the dog, cleaning up it's shit, playing with the damn thing. I'm trying not to go Mike Vick on the poor Dog but I don't know how much more I can take. I mean she's fine but if her and the dog are a package deal I may have to return to sender!

What should I do?

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Driza Dre: Well, I know this topic was near and dear to your heart considering you're such a dog lover. LOL

C-Recks: Lmao I feel his pain man! “But if you having girl problems I feel bad for you son.” Unfortunately, he’s probably wishin he was on some jay-z shit “99 problems but a bitch wasn't one.” Lol

DD: The dog right? Lol

CR: Lmao oh… yeah. Lol

DD: Man, the funny thing is that the whole time I'm reading it, I'm thinking, if she fine, this really ain't an issue. I mean, a whole lotta brothas have put up with a whole lot worse in the infinite pursuit of P. Suck it up, and do what you gotta do.

CR: Man I'm trying to think how fine a chick would have to be for me to put up would a damn dog though! I mean is she Rachel from Caribbean Rhythms fine or Rachel Ray fine? I know Rachel Ray is yo girl. Lol

DD: I know we always talk about dimes, but even a 5 that can cook is a 7 in my book. Food means a lot to me.

CR: Lol man I feel you on that but the dog is getting most of the kibbles and bits in this instance

DD: Its still just a dog. But I did think of a couple of instances in which this dog is a relationship killer.
1) If she puts any kind of clothing on the dog when she makes you walk it
2) If she kisses the dog on the mouth or asks you to kiss the dog on the mouth
3) If the pooch doesn't have its own bed cuz it sleeps in the bed with her

DD: Any of those, and its time to be out man

CR: Man those are all reasons I can't stand dogs and dog lovers! Lol

DD: Well not all dog owners are those kinda dog owners. Some actually treat their pets like pets

CR: Well my man didn't get into the specifics but its gotta be something major for him to be ready to leave a dime chick over it. So should he just man up and deal with the dog? Or should he come clean about his dislike for the mangy mut?

DD: Well, I would come clean about it. But only if he's willing to work with her on the dog issue. Cuz the dog ain't going away. And if he presents it on some its either him, or me stuff, brotha might as well pack his bags right now. But I am saying that if the chick and the relationship are worth it, this is a minor problem. She'll know that if he's worth keeping around, she needs to be more understanding of the fact that dogs really aren't his thing.

CR: Right she ain't pickin the nigga over her dog. If he comes clean he may just be able to get outta of some of the dog duties. But something tells me he may be killin himself like suicide if he says anything. She ain't gone appreciate him lying to get wit her and furthermore won't appreciate him not liking her dog.

DD: It could go that way, but I kinda doubt it will

CR: Well more than anything like you've said guys have had to endure far worse things to stay with a dyme so even from a dog hater I agree this is minor to be with dime status. I'm sure another nigga with an alergy to dogs would gladly deal with this dude's chick and her dog any given day.

CR: So that's just some food for thought for him to chew on.

DD: Man, tis better to have a fine chick with a dog than to have to settle for a chick that looks like one. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

CR: Lmao !! You a fool 4 that one, But u 4sho right.

DD: Well that's it in a nut shell for me. If the relationship is worth it, you gotta take the chance, and speak your peace. And see where it goes from there

CR: Man dimes don't come too frequent to the average guy. So I say count your blessings and endure whatever minor pain you must in order to keep her.

DD: Cuz if you don't, some other dog will!

CR: Exactly it's "dog eat dog" And as they say "Every dog has his day," so enjoy yours while it lasts. **DMX Bark**

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Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.

--C-Recks--

--Driza Dre--

Testimony Tuesday

Its that time again. Yep it's Tuesday and we are back at you with an all new "Tuesday Testimony." If you need the background on how this new segment began then please check out the first "Tuesday Testimony" from last week. Well after opening up the floor for new testimonies we've had a subtle response thus far. This week we received 1 anonymous comment and also a couple of e-mails, which is more than we expected. Unfortunately, at this time we can only post 1 per week, so the others may be used for later posts. But by all means keep em' coming in.

Again you can send in your testimony by anonymously commenting to any of our posts or you can send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com. All emails and comments will remain anonymous. However, as always we will give our honest and possibly blunt opinion. Then we may mix it with a few jokes just because that's what we do. But regardless we'll give you the real deal. Then open it up to the readers and their opinions.

So with that said let's get into today's "Tuesday Testimony." To begin just keep in mind the subject of this letter is not PG-13. It's not XXX but it's probably somewhere between Nc-17 and X. LoL. Just a warning to those that may be a little more conservative feel free to exit now before the elevator doors close! LoL. But by all means don't take offense this is a grown up blog and we're having a grown up conversation. This week's Testimony was sent in via email:
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Brothers,

So about a month ago I caught my guy watching a porno movie. He wasn't doing anything except watching. Now it wasn't anything major because as a woman I know that all men watch porn. But it was a slight shock to see him doing it in front of me. Well he didn't stop watching as I came into the room and he actually asked if I wanted to watch with him.

Now I'm not going to pretend like I've never watched porn before in my life, but I will admit it's never been to the extent that a guy would watch. And I've never watched with a partner before. To be honest it really doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather do my own thing than watch someone else do it. But when he asked I did notice how turned on he was and thought it would be a "fun" experience for both of us.

Well long story short I agreed to watch with him. But as I sat next to him watching I found myself asking him a lot of questions, laughing at certain thiings I saw, and even talking about the actors in the film. After a while he grew tired of my antics and turned off the movie and left out the room. I was hoping we would doing a reenactment of the film ourselves but I could see he wasn't even aroused any more.

Since that episode I've walked in on him watching porn again a couple of times but now he just turns off the movie when I walk in. I don't care that he watches porn without me, but I would also like it to be something we can do together as well and then reap the benefits of it there after. Basically I want him to feel comfortable to invite me to watch with him again, but I don't know how to approach the subject.

What should I do?
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Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Man this letter here is pretty funny only because I'm sure every man in the world that has watched porn with a woman has experienced this.

Driza Dre: yeah, I would have to agree

CR: And I can just feel my man's pain

DD: See the thing that women don't realize is that porn is a whole different world for men, And for the men that are brave enough to try to bring their woman into that world, well its usually not a positive outcome.

CR: I think instead of the FBI warning at the beginning of the porn movies about bootlegging there should be some other basic rules. Lol

DD: right

CR: Something like The 10 Porn Comandments

DD: Can't tell me nothing bout this porn. My Mr. Marcus Niggaz. Lol

CR: Lmao you a damn fool. (If you have never heard Biggie's "10 Crack Commandments" then you may have missed that symbolism).

CR: But shit since u sparked it hit em wit that #10 rule and we can go back and forth.

DD: Well shit, I say # 10 is number one to me. As a woman, you can't take it personal. I mean, yo man watching porn doesn't mean that he's not into you or that he's into any of those crazy things. Its just different. That's all. So don't hold it against him. I mean, if you watching porn with him, I'm sure he won't be trippin over the guy's packages that you'll be looking at. So don't sweat him.

CR: Well I'll say #9 is STFU! Oh sorry let me be nice please hush during porn time. A man doesn't need u killin his porn high by talking and asking a million questions about what's going on or how she can make her ass can clap like a whole audience on a game show. Or how fake her orgasms are or how nasty this or that is. We know all that but its porn you get what you get.

DD: In the same vane as #9, #8 is, just because he's watching a porn with a white girl in it doesn't necessarily mean that he's in to white women. Again, its a fantasy world. Plus, white porn is just better than black porn. I mean, if you put in a black porn, you have to sit and listen to some niggaz demo tape before the F*CKING starts. Sorry, but that gets old

CR: Lmao! Yeah I can't mix porn and rap! As Kanye said "that's why we watch your porn in fast forward cuz we don't wanna hear that weak shit no mo!" Lol

DD: Exactly. Lol. Also to the porn emcee. The next one of you niggaz to get a deal will be the first one of you niggaz to get a deal. Give it up! Unless you count Lloyd Banks/Brian Pumper. LOL

CR: Lmao I knew the Lloyd Banks was coming. **In my best Lloyd Banks voice**"Nigga what you say!" Lmao

CR: Well #7 plays off of that I say that women can't see their guy's porn stash and see some freak nasty stuff and assume her guy is automatically into all of that shit. Again its fantasy if he likes to watch 5 chicks get it on, trust its pure fantasy because the nigga will neva get that lucky! Eva! Lol

CR: Unless he watches gay porn then that's a totally different ball game and he may be batting someone else's balls. Lol. Or if it's anything else that's just out of the ordinary then "Houston we Have a Problem."

DD: Well, I draw the line at clown porn. If yo dude is watching people with big feet and squeezable red noses having sex, you have a right to ask some questions. LOL

DD: Tell him DrizaDre said so! Cuz hell, I wanna know why?

CR: Lol yeah if its some way off the wall shit then I will say u have the right to think something is wrong and even question it. Cuz some stuff like midget porn, beasteality or sick stuff like that is just weird and disturbing. But then again if he's into some off the wall stuff like that then I'm sure his porn stash isn't the first you've heard of the weird shit he's into.

CR: I'm talkin bout "normal" porn.

DD: Well, here's a serious tip for #6. If you've had enough of the porn, feel free at any time to spark off a session with your man. I've never heard of a man saying "naw baby, we can't have sex til I finish this Booty Talk #147. I mean, I do have to return it to the video store." If the porn has been on for two minutes or more, he's probably ready to throw down. So reach out and touch, or whatever it is that you do to spark it. Its time.

CR: No doubt! Lol

CR: Well #5 has to be take mental notes. Trust if you see something in the porn feel free to see if you can make the same happen in the bed. Your man will be pleasantly surprised and give you plenty of props (or something better) for trying it out without him having to ask or beg you to try it.

DD: Unless its some gay shit, If so, refer back to rule #7

CR: Lmao exactly

DD: #4 may sound redundant..... And it is STFU! But let me add this little tid bit. That doesn't just go for the particular day or night you'r watching the porn, but in the days after as well. There ain't nothing worse than being blindsided with something like "So you don't expect me to do a threesome just because we watched the porn last night?" I mean, that's a crazy comment over the breakfast table!

CR: Man yeah you don't know whether to ask to pass the K-Y or the syrup. lol

DD: LMAO. Better get it right!

CR: Well #3 is this ALL guys watch porn! Period point blank. I would feel like I deserve a no snitching fine if this wasn't a known fact! So please don't act surprised, upset, pissed, confused or whatever else when you catch your man watching porn or happen to "stumble upon" his porn stash! It is what it is and refer back to rule #10 when u find it

DD: Do I have to reiterate rules four and nine? Ok, well rule #2 is enjoy yourself. Its just porn. You haven't committed a cardinal sin or anything. At least I don't think so. But you'll have to take that up with your particular God. I'm not saying that you always need porn to make the sparks fly, but its a definite enhancer. And who knows, maybe that might help him to come to you and ask "What can I do for you to make it special". Just a Thought

CR: Well #1 then just sums them all up to me and I've already stated it. But it's simply It is what it is. Its porn. Its not real its not and never will be a replacement for real sex. Its not anything beyond its title, its porn. Its a billion dollar industry and they all get paid off people's desire to want to watch. As long as you keep it mind that it is what it is it will avoid plenty conflicts that arise that are porn related.

CR: I think the 10 Porn Commandments pretty much answer her question and if she can apply those rules her porn experience with her man will get better results. That's all I got but hit em' with a closing argument if you have one .

DD: Nope, the 10 speak for themselves. Damn if this ain't some of my best work actually. But apply the rules ladies, and you be the judge.
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Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.


--Driza Dre--
--C-Recks--

Wanted: Dead or Alive

I was inspired to share this story after reading Sharon aka The True Urban Queen's Blog.

About one month ago. I was at my best friend's house. She was going to make a run, but as she left and got down stairs she called me. "Can you come help me clean the snow off of my car?" Now it had snowed greatly for a day and a half straight so there was a significant amount of snow (The picture below is of my car taken the same day as this story took place. Gotta Love Chicago weather in the winter). So I replied "Sure I'll be right down." I didn't think I would take long so I didn't grab my coat.

As I come down I realized I should have grabbed the coat as the windows were coated with ice then snow on top of that. So, I got to scraping the ice and snow off of the truck. It took me longer than expected, but eventually I get most of it off, all but one window on the passenger side. But it was enough so that she could drive. Now as I was finishing up I noticed out of the corner of my eye a little old [black] lady with a cane slowly trekking past me in the snow. Now I couldn't tell where she was heading at first. There was a car close that had no snow on it, also she could have just been walking past. But I said in my mind I'm thinking "I know this lady isn't about to get in one of these cars with snow on them."

So I finished with the snow removal and I go to head back upstairs. So as I turn back I notice BFF is struggling to get the truck out of the parking space. So I go back and got in the car and pulled it out of the space. Now keep in mind that in the time from when I first saw the old lady to when I pulled the truck out of the space I saw at least 3 able bodied men pass by. I must assume they saw the old lady as they really couldn't have missed her given where she was standing. So, once I get the truck out I look over and asked my BFF "Is that old lady brushing the snow off her car?" She says "I can't tell from where I'm at." I tell her to give me the snow brush before she leaves and I head over to help the lady.

Now this lady had to easily be in her mid 70's if not older. But I kid you not, as I walked up to the car the lady is pushing the snow off of her car with her cane! I immediately asked if she needed any help. She says [use your best old lady voice here] "Well I was trying to do it, but it's just so much snow and ice." She said she had a snow brush in the car, I tell her I got one already and proceeded to work on the ice. I started on the windshield and she got her brush and started on the drivers side of the very same windshield. Now I'm scraping my ass off and not seeming to make any leeway. But then I had to be easy as I wasn't trying to have an ice chunk fly up and hit the old lady in the eye or something. I tried to tell her to just either sit in the car or go back to the door and wait while I get the snow and ice off. Thinking about it, I wanted to take a break myself and warm up. Remember I still had no coat on.

But back to the lady. Now although she was trying hard, her efforts were not even putting a dent into removing the snow let alone the caked on ice. However, the lady seemed to be very self sufficient and insisted on helping as well. My great grandmother was this same way, so the fact she wanted to help and or do it herself I totally understood. So I proceeded to go to the back window and let her work on the front. I let her know she should put on the defrost, so she stops brushing the snow. As I turned to walk to the rear of the car she started to turn towards the driver's side door. Next thing I know I look over and she's losing her balance. The lady lets out an "Oh Lord!" and I see her fall over!

I quickly ran over to the driver's side and make sure the lady is okay. She said she was fine. So I proceeded to help the lady up onto her feet. She then said "I'm done, I'm just going to let car warm up and defrost on it's own." I asked if she wanted me to try to finish she said "that's okay I'm not in a rush I'll just let it defrost." So I told the lady to at least let me walk her back to the door. Arm in arm we take baby steps over the snow and ice up to the front door.

Next, the lady told me "I have to go upstairs and get you a little something for helping me out." I immediately replied to her that there was no need for any financial reward I didn't mind helping her out at all. She said "Well thank God you were here young man, because I would still be on the ground in that snow if you weren't. Just last year I had the same thing happen and I broke my hip." She started to go on about how her people usually come to do stuff like this for her but no one has come to do it, so she had to do it herself. I asked one last time if she needed anything else and she said no so I proceeded back upstairs.

So there you have it. Chivalry at it's finest. So it can't be dead. Right? Unfortunately, I am only one man amongst billions and can only speak for myself. Well scratch that, my brother as well since we were raised by the same parents. In that raising we were brought up to be gentlemen. My grandfather probably instilled this more than anyone. But honestly, I just look at situations like the above story from the perspective of what if it was my grandmother, mom, cousin or best friend? I would hope that a man would lend them a hand in that situation. I'm sure that there are plenty of other men that open doors for women, will give up their seat on the bus for a woman or even help a damsel in distress as I did. Now don't go asking me where they are at because that I wouldn't be able to tell you. LoL. But this does go to show you that chivalry isn't dead. Although at times it may seem to be on life support, it is not dead. So ladies please don't sign that DNR (Do not Resuscitate) form and pull the plug on chivalry.
--C-Recks--

Time Waits For No Man

"Ooh Girl!" - An Honest R&B Song



I came across this video on Myspace last week and I found it to be hilarious. These guys are brutally honest when it comes to their bedroom performance. Far from what most R&B songs try to fool women into thinking. But they addressed a subject I already had in draft but never completed and posted. So, I am now incorporating the 2 together. One of the main subjects the video address was the sexual performance time. My man broke it down to the exact number of minutes, you will get out of him. He wasn't fronting and telling you he was gone go at it all night like you hear in most R&B songs (Don't the Viagra commercials say an erection lasting more than 4 hours should seek immediate medical attention? LoL). For instance, songs like Freak Me (Silk), Freakin' You (Jodeci), Makin' Good Love (Avant), All Nite All Day (Ginuwine), Bump & Grind Remix (R.Kelly), Bed (J.Holiday). Etc. This list can go on for days. But you best believe I know what to put on when its sexy time! Lmao.

Now a good while ago there was a rare occasion where I was watching the morning news. Actually I wasn't even watching, but it happen to be on as I was getting ready for work. Well the topic of sex came up and my ears perked up like a dog hearing kibbles and bits. So I of course began to watch more closely. The show had a sex therapist on and she was discussing a new study done that reveals the actual length of time the "average" woman prefers sex to be. Utterly intrigued by this point I stopped ironing my clothes and was glued in front of the TV.

Well much to my shock this so called expert goes on to tell me and the world that was up at 8am that a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine stated this nonsense. "Sex lasting less than 3 minutes is considered as too short, while more than 13 minutes of sex are regarded to as too long. 7 to 13 minutes were rated as most “desirable” length of time of sex. Many sex therapists consider coitus that lasts as little as 3 minutes to be of adequate length."

Now my first reaction upon hearing this was to literally LOL. Followed by a swift "Bullshit!!" And lastly topped off with a "Get the F**K Outta here!!" Then I pondered to myself "I hope for the sake of men that that time length included some 4-Play, [no make that 12-Play] or else this study is about to sky rocket the divorce rate higher and faster gas prices 6 months ago."

I later went online to gather more information about this so called study. Well you can read it for yourself here. Basically this study surveyed a number of random men and women in Canada and the U.S. and based on those responses and their expert opinions they have come up with this conclusion which they chose to publish in this medical journal.

Alright now it's my turn. I'm definitely no sexpert nor do I have a doctorates in medicine or any certificates in sex therapy. Therefore, I am only speaking from my own personal perspective and experience. So with that said I feel like there is no damn way that a woman is going to be satisfied with a man giving her 3 minutes of sex! And if this is true I'm sure most men like me are asking themselves where are these alien women that they speak of? Or has Captain Kirk already got to them all? LoL.

Maybe it's just me, but even the 7-13 minutes that they claim is desirable just seems to be off about a good 20-30 minutes or more. Now I've seen it done in as little as 3 minutes [As Nas Said "I'm Hercules Hercules when it comes to Relations." LOL ;-)] and definitely in the 7-13 minute range. But "IF" (and that's a big "if" for some...sorry to say) in that 7-13 minutes the man manages to satisfy his woman and bring her to orgasm, in my experience that doesn't mean your job is done. Although I've been told and have heard women say "As long as I get mines it doesn't matter how long it lasts." I'm not too sure most women would say alright I got my one now it's done. Sadly, that's usually the man saying such a thing, whether verbally or non-verbally. Cue the Snoring (Zzzzzzz). I personally can't get down like that. But then again, perhaps I'm just a tad greedy and a bit of an over achiever. LMAO. But we have to remember the fact that women are multi-orgasmic. So to a man this translates to good job in the first 7-13 minutes now do it a couple more times just for good measure. LoL. And if you do happen to finish also, you better catch your breath and get back out in the ring for round 2. In the words of the Great Muhammad Ali "Rumble Young Man Rumble." LoL.

I wouldn't personally know about this, but I gotta ask. What if you're one of those unfortunate brothers that can't last long enough to get the job done? LoL SMH! Would the ladies prefer he go the honest route like the guys in the video and put it out there up front? Or for him to just keep quiet and see what it does or don't do? Or to just Lie? LoL. I'm sitting here just envisioning this scenario. The moment is getting heated up and "It's about to go Down." All of a sudden the man stops then turns to the lady and says "Hey just so you know this ain't gone last but about 7-13 Minutes. But don't worry in that time I'm gone give it all I got." I'm a gambling man so I'm willing to bet all I got that most any woman's clothes will magically come back on Cris Angel style. Then someone is leaving right away, either her or you depending on whose place you're at. I know the ladies have a thing about wasting a number on a guy that don't "come with it" so to speak. And if you don't know what I mean by wasting a number then ask the female that's closest to you right now I'm sure she'll school you real quick. LoL

But regardless of which the ladies prefer there is one thing that remains a big No! No! Yep you guessed it that would be Bragging! I don't know if you can blame the R&B Songs that brag about putting it on you all night long, screaming my name, and putting you to bed and tucking you in or what? Yes these things can and do happen. However, for the life of me I don't know why guys brag when it comes to their bedroom tactics. I mean if it's your woman or someone you've already did the damn thing with and they can vouch for you then by all means get your brag on. But if you're trying to get a woman to sleep with you for the first time, don't brag (trust she's heard it all before). Especially if you know that your results in the past have been less than stellar, then why even say anything? If she asks play it off! "Aw well you know I do what I do!" LoL. But don't set yourself up to be embarrassed and eventually put on blast. I've read too many blogs of women (even some of our followers.lol) blasting a brother out for not coming with it in the bedroom. But I'm sure if he didn't brag about what he was gone do prior to, then she may have over looked the infraction and spared him the embarrassment. Yet you chose the wrong door like that one on Let's Make A Deal with the Donkey behind it. So, now everyone at the job, school, church (or where ever you met her) and the entire blog community knows about your "short comings." LoL.

Honestly, I prefer the quiet and reserved approach and not to even mention it at all. Now if you ask I'll be honest and let you know how my past performance has been graded and that I have not gotten any complaints. However, I won't guarantee anything on a first time being sexual with someone. I know for a fact that all women are different; therefore, just because I did XXX Y and Z with a previous girl and blew her back out, doesn't mean that's going to automatically translate to the new girl. This is no different than if you were to change jobs. You may have been a top performer at your previous job, but this is a new company and possibly new and more challenging "position." So, basically you can't guarantee any results. LoL.

When it boils down to it I personally feel like the pressure is mainly on men to perform. Unfortunately, the man is supposed to feel privileged to even have an opportunity to have a go at it. Therefore, he better make the best of the chance he's being given. Now, maybe for some the pressure is too much and they can't step up and make it happen. Although no man wants to be considered a Minute Man , especially since they make songs about them (50 grand I get this on one take. LoL). But I guess just like anything in life there are somethings some are better at. And consequently that means that someone must also be bad at it as well. However, I can only speak for self. So before y'all start questioning me I must say that I've never fallen into this 7-13 minute range category. I can get material witnesses to testify if I have to. LoL. In fact, if I could quickly I'd tell this story about the Robin Thicke CD... But sadly I've run out of time and can't, so you have to use your imagination as to what I'm referring to. LoL. Any one that can guess it I got a prize for you. LMAO.

--C-Recks--

Just Deserts

Don't worry I didn't make a simple spelling error in my title. You'll understand the spelling as you continue to read. So, a few months my best friend was having an argument with some guy about who was thirstier men or women? So she e-mails me and asks my take on it. Well my immediate response was "Men of course!" My first example proving my point to her was for her to simply log into her myspace. I told her that I bet with her just being logged in [cue the blinking on-line indicator] and not doing anything more that the guys would flock. However, if I were to do the exact same I would maybe [on a good day] receive 1 request to her every 5-10. Unfortunately, she agreed with me that guys are thirstier; therefore, she didn't try my little "social-networking" experiment.

However, my blog entry "It's a One-derful Life" prompted another friend of mines to re-open their previously closed myspace account to prove a point. On her profile she listed 10 items about her as I did in the aforementioned blog. However, she proceeded to tell me that the "resume" as she called it, prompted her to receive 70 friend requests. All of these requests came within a matter of barely 24 hours, from men wanting to be her "One." Well without even asking her to participate she conducted my "social networking" experiment for me. So my response to her was that the 10 items was irrelevant. I feel that even without her putting her 10 items on there that just a picture and no words would have gotten at least half of those requests. Why? Because guys are thirsty.

Still not convinced? Well here's yet another example. A few years ago I was in the grocery store picking up some items for my grandmother. Well my eye spotted a gorgeous woman shopping and pushing her cart along. Now before my mind could even formulate the thought of stepping up to her and say something someone had already beat me to the punch. So, I played the back and watched her shut this guy down as he walked away shaking his head. Within less than a minute I saw another guy make the same attempt only to be shut down. As guy #2 was shut down there was a third guy lurking in the shadows just hoping for his turn. Even after seeing guy #2 get shut down, the third guy proceeds to take his chance. By this time I'm simply laughing because it's become quite comical. Well it's no surprise that guy #3 got the same treatment as his 2 predecessors. The young lady proceeded to the meat department to pick out some poultry, but it wasn't long before guy #4 made his appearance. I couldn't hear what any of them were saying to her, but with her picking out chicken, I'm sure his "original recipe" line that he used wasn't too original. Therefore, he was sent home with no consolation prize along with the previous contestants.

Well I won't front that my mind was thinking hell "give it your best shot worst she can say is no." However, I then thought of it in this way. If I just saw 4 people try to cross the same bridge and all met the same fate of falling in the water would I still try to cross? The answer was an astounding Hell No!! Plug up the Gps and find yourself another route. LoL. So, I told myself I'm just not a thirsty type guy and simply admired her beauty from a distance and kept it moving.

I mean I know I'm from Chicago and perhaps thirstiness just exists here, but I doubt that's the case. I've come to realize that Chicago niggaz just take it to an extreme level. However, I'm sure that women from all over the world can attest to the fact that they've experienced many moments dealing with thirsty guys. We've attempted to come up with a list, let's go through it and see how far we get.

- The guy that buys you a drink at the club and thinks you drinking that drink is some sort of non-verbal contract obligating you to talk to him the rest of the night. So he follows you around the club all night.

- The guy that you actually decide to give your number to; however, he doesn't adhere to the 1-2 day buffer and calls you the same day.

- The guy that when he meets you and you won't give him your number decides to give you his number. But not just his number. He includes his work number, his e-mail address, his instant messenger, and just in case you can't reach him at any of those his momma's number.

- The guy that first tries to holla at you. Then when you shut him down moves on to your girl. But when she doesn't give him any love either he then makes an attempt at your other girl. Eventually he goes through the rest of your crew, but even though no one takes his bait it doesn't deter him from trying.

- The guy that you've barely known a week or 2; however, he already wants you to be his woman. But wait he's not just satisfied with you just being his girl. Within that same week or 2, he wants you to meet his momma, be his wife, and go half on a baby with him.

- The guy that calls you and when you don't answer he leaves you a voice mail. But before you can even check the voice mail he's calling you again. But when you don't answer the next time he's sends you a text message. My brother commonly refers to these individuals as Serial Dialers.

- The guy that will admittedly do anything to get you to sleep with him. Including but not limited to offering to buy you any and everything you want as if money will all of a sudden make you want to be with him.

- The guy that sees you walking down the street as he's driving and tries to get your attention by yelling from the car. When you ignore his disrespectful attempt, he continues to drive along side you trying different lines on you hoping you change your mind.

- The guy that you openly treat like s**t, yet he takes your s**t and whatever else you do to him just no matter how bad it is. He doesn't care because he just wants to be with you no matter what.


Alright that's all we could come up with. But feel free to add to the list in your comments I'm sure we've left plenty things out. But the bottom line is that although there are some thirsty women out there, they don't close to match the numbers of thirsty men. I guess some of these guys didn't get the memo that women out number men in most places. You would think that would deter them from being so thirsty; however, it doesn't and it won't.

So to those thirsty men out there. Please stop being so damn thirsty! Ya'll make it harder for us regular guys to even get a chance because of how thirsty the last guy that tried was. So calm your thirsty asses down, for starters here's a glass of water on me. LoL.
--C-Recks--
--DrizaDre--

Elementary My Dear Employee

Objective: Experienced, and educated individual seeking exciting and challenging position within a growing company.

Translation = Please hire me so I can escape this HELL they call a Job.

Like many of you I have been through many years of schooling and now work a 9-5 job. Well maybe it's just me and my job but I swear sometimes I feel like I'm back in school. You name the grade; 1st grade, 6th grade, or 10th Grade. Honestly it tends to vary on a day to day basis. As I have mentioned before I work with mostly women. But I like to consider myself the quiet type employee that basically sticks to himself and does his job for 8 hours a day. I try to mind my own damn business and not get involved in the every day gossip and trivial things that go on in the work place. Basically, I just want to do my time so I can go home at the end of the day.

However, that doesn't stop me from being very observant as to the happenings around our small office. Some things are funny, while others are just down right stupid and a waste of my time and thoughts. You can read examples of what I'm talking about Here. as well as Here. Well recenlty I went throughout the office and taken a few pictures of some things that are just down right ridiculous in nature. They truly make me feel like I'm back in grade school as opposed to at a Job with other adults. As you continue to read you'll see what I mean.

This lovely sign was inspired by the abundant number of individuals that would make their coffee or eat their lunch and leave a damn mess. I don't drink coffee. If I do it's a rare occasion or a very restless couple of nights. Also, I go home for lunch. So there is no chance that I'm the guilty culprit. However, other people think that their mothers work here as well. Therefore, they aren't even considerate enough to clean up after themselves when they make a mess. The sign has slightly deferred some from leaving a mess behind. But then again there are those people that you just wonder to yourself how do they live at home. Like you just know they live nasty as hell.

Here's another sign that's in the kitchen. Now who in today's times doesn't own a microwave oven? Well even if you don't own one I'm sure we've all used a microwave before. Therefore, who doesn't know that when you heat up food in the microwave that food can splatter as it gets hot? Well apparently one or more of the idiots I work with don't know this. Either that or they're just that damn lazy to cover up their food when heating it. Then when they do make a mess once again are so inconsiderate they'll leave the mess for the next person to clean. Well this sign has at least kept the microwave messes to a minimum lately.

Okay here's one last kitchen sign. This sign is posted on the refrigerator just like my [4 year old] son's art work is on my fridge at home. Well anyways this particular sign was inspired for a couple of reasons. First, people would bring their lunch and if they didn't eat it all they would leave it in the fridge. I don't know if they just forgot about it being in there, or if they were just too lazy to take it out and walk the 10 steps to the trash to discard their food. But when the fridge gets full and people try to make room then they notice some old Chinese food or Pizza in the back growing mold. Then someone gets stuck spending 30 minutes cleaning out the fridge. Just ignorant I tell you!!!... Now on to the other part of the sign. So, people put items such as yogurt, soda/pop, juice, and condiments in the fridge for later use. Well some employees feel the need to take other peoples food as if it is community food. We've complained about the problem before. However, after the manager had her yogurt stolen she decided to post this sign on the refrigerator.

Now this sign would be very appropriate and I believe required by law if I were working in a restaurant. However, keep in mind I work in a small office. There are no more than 15-20 people ever in the office at a time. This sign is just appalling to me every time I go to the bathroom. Do you mean to tell me that grown ass people have to be reminded to do something that we were taught to do at 2 years old? Well apparently the answer to that question is a sad yes. This sign was put up after someone pissed all over the toilet seat. Of course that means that a man was the likely culprit. And being one of the few men in the office I was pissed to think that someone may be thinking it was me. Of course that is not the case, given that between my mom and my ex-wife I've spent 25 years living with women. Therefore, I'd say I'm pretty well trained in that department. As for the other part of the sign, another time someone else handled their business and didn't flush. Come on this is just damn ridiculous.



Well these signs can get pretty redundant. I would think that someone would be able to notice that the picture of the man means it's the men's bathroom. Also, the picture of the one in the skirt would mean it's the ladies restroom. Likewise, the one with both the man and woman would be a unisex or co-ed bathroom. Well tell this to the old guy that inspired these signs. The old guy no longer works with us. However, he took it upon himself to bypass the unoccupied men's and unisex restrooms to go into and use the ladies room. Well I don't know why he did this I'd say he must have been an old pervert but who knows. All I know is the women were up in arms about this and stated he even left the toilet seat up. Therefore, the manager was prompted to post these signs on the restrooms just as a reminder. I couldn't get the picture of the men's bathroom but the sign was blue since blue is for boys according to my son. LoL.

Fortunately, that's all that I have for now. But you get the point. I'm sure come next week there will be another stupid violation that will prompt another sign to be posted somewhere. I'm expecting a sign stating "Don't cut in line at the water cooler." Or "Quiet while others are on the phone." Now I know that most of you are thinking how can you even work in an environment like that? Or that I should find a new job fast. Although I'm thankful I even have a job in these tough economic times, trust and believe that I've been trying to escape like Remy Ma. Unfortunately, I've been having the same luck that she did. LoL. But anyone with a job hook up in or around the Chicago Land area by all means holla at ya boy. I'll promptly forward my real resume to you. LoL.

--C-Recks--

I've Got a Job to Do...Doo

I want to apologize in advance for this blog. I have to discuss a subject that I really didn't want to touch. But unfortunately I've fallen victim to this on more than one occasion recently and felt it had to be addressed. I apologize if I'm being just a little gross, but I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever gone through this before. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way let's get right into it. I work a regular 9-5 job like many of you probably do. I don't necessarily enjoy the job but I go to put in my 8 hours and get out of there. I don't like to deal with things at work that I shouldn't have to. For instance, drama, gossip, and this subject I am tackling now.

Imagine this: You've sat diligently at your desk all morning working quietly not bothering anyone keeping to yourself doing your damn job. You've been drinking your beverage of choice off and on all morning (for me it's simply water). Eventually the water starts to settle and fill up your bladder. You want to run to the bathroom but you get stuck on an extended call that can't be interrupted for right now. So as soon as you finish up that call you go running to the bathroom. But no sooner than you open up the door you get hit with it like a punch from Mike Tyson in his prime!!!

Yes that's right the funk from the bathroom has just damn near knocked your ass out like Suge Knight.

WTF?? There are no other bathrooms available, so now you're stuck with 2 choices either damn near piss your pants or hold your breath for the next minute in an attempt to not inhale the toxic scent. So you choose to brave the dreaded Area 51 wishing you had a gas mask. You take a deep breath, run in, quickly handle your business. wash your hands, and run out of the bathroom. You exit feeling like you've been waiting to exhale longer than Terri McMillan. But no sooner than you open the door to come out what happens? Yep you guessed it. Someone is coming in right behind you. Dammit!! Now what's the first thing that they're going to think when they walk in? Yes they are going to think that you're the one that did the terrible deed when in fact, you were simply an innocent victim just as they are about to be. And you just know they're going to say something to someone about the bathroom being funky as hell and they saw you come out last.

Not to put my personal bathroom business out there but I personally have never been comfortable enough to let's say have a seat in the bathroom at work. I understand the concept of when you have to go you have to go but does that really mean just go anywhere? My problem is this. I work in a small office. So in it there are 3 bathrooms. 1 that only the women use, 1 that the few men that work there use, and 1 that's pretty much a uni-sex bathroom. Now keep in mind that these aren't huge bathrooms with stalls and urinals. This is just a simple bathroom. There's a toilet there, a sink and a mirror. So imagine my pain when this situation occurs. It feels like the equivalent of being trapped in the gas chamber. Then just as in the situation I described above someone happens to walk in after me. Of course it so happens I was trapped in the uni-sex bathroom and one of the ladies walks in right after I exit. So great now I'm going to be known as the guy that s**ts at work. And again the same exact scenario has happened to me on more than one occasion so I'm pretty sure by now I have a title or nickname that I have yet to hear.

Here's my problem with the whole thing. It really boils down to respect for your fellow co-workers. I mean who hasn't caught a case of the bubble guts at some point? But see in my case I feel like I'm getting caught up behind a repeat offender. Yep that's right I'm snitchin because much like in the interrogation room they are trying to pin this on me and I'm not taking the wrap for it. Plus I don't even like the lady anyways. LoL. So here's the perpetrator she's an older lady probably late 50's or early 60's, so you know they bowels are probably looser to begin with. But my problem is that she drinks 3-4 cups of coffee every morning. Now come on you should know that coffee can act as a laxative at times. So it's no wonder why she's getting up to use the bathroom all morning. Then next comes lunch time. Now no offense to any one reading that is Hispanic. However, this lady is Hispanic and she usually eats Hispanic food for lunch. You know tacos, enchiladas, beans, rice and what not. Again I'm no expert but beans usually = having to use the bathroom. Now again to each their own. I'm not comfortable doing that but you do you. However, when you get done please warn the next person not to go in after you. You know damn well Lysol Spray or any other aerosol spray is not going to cover up the smell. So either put a sign on the door or at least do like Pops from the movie Friday said "Don't nobody go in there for at least about 35-45 minutes."

Now I've worked at bigger companies before and if you got caught stinking up the bathroom they would actually put you on blast. Even though they had individual stalls in the bathroom, as you know it's never hard to tell [at least for a man] when he's doing #2. So you better believe they would notice who's shoes were dangling under the stall and come back and tell on you just like Ezel from the movie Friday. "Smokey back there taking a S**t!!!"

In conclusion, I again apologize for addressing a rather gross subject. But I had to speak on it. And if you're one of these individuals that stink up the bathroom at work and let someone else take the blame for the horrible smell. Well all I have to say is shame on you. And I hope that the next time you get caught in the bathroom with only 1 square of tissue left. Let's see if you fess up then as you're begging for someone to spare a square. LoL.

--C-Recks--

No Butts About It

I was listening to the radio yesterday and they happen to play a throw back song. Now I'm an avid Hip Hop listener. But some of this new stuff today I can't even categorize as Hip Hop (Soulja Boy we still got unfinished business). So when I hear a classic song it just takes me back to an era when the music was pure. Well on this particular day I heard the beat come on I thought oh hell no it can't be!! Then I heard the talking at the beginning of the intro and I simply had to laugh as I could envision the video in my head. And as soon as it finished I heard the rapper begin the verse with four words which right away told what the rest of the rest of the song would be talking about. Anyone from my era remembers these four famous words...

"I Like Big Butts..."

I'm sure that's all I had to say and most of you were probably able to fill in the rest of the lyrics probably up until the hook. LoL. But in 1992 when Sir-Mix-A-Lot released "Baby Got Back" he probably never imagined the impact this song would have. I'm sure long before 1992 men (especially black men) had been admiring women's rear ends. But he brought to light something that was obviously on a lot of men's minds but they weren't bold enough to say. Let alone bold enough to write a whole song about it.

Well I was only 12 back in 1992. And as appealing as the video (which was banned by MTV for a short time) for "Baby Got Back" was I had really just gotten into the full mode of liking and pursuing girls. My brother and I used to joke about certain girls belonging to what we considered the BBC (Big Booty Club), but unlike some 12-14 year old girls now a days none of the girls at our school really had this "round thing" that Mix-A-Lot mentioned. Well it wasn't until I moved back to Chicago in 1994 and started High School that what Mix-A-Lot spoke of came more into focus. It was during that High School career that I learned a new term to describe a woman's physique. This term was "Thick." Perhaps it was new to me because I had never heard the term while in California.

The problem I had with the term "Thick" back then, which has gotten worse now is that there was no real criteria for someone to be classified or classify themselves as thick. My assumption of what thick meant was that you maybe had a little extra weight in the areas of the thighs, and booty. For those of us men that don't always go for the skinny model type females this is very appealing. Giving us something extra to... well you get the point. Just think of the term "more cushion for the pushin." However, I think the term thick somehow began getting misused. No offense to anyone, but some women began referring to themselves as "Thick" but were in fact a little or sometimes even a lot more than thick. But regardless, the fact is that thin is definitely no longer in. I can't count how many times I've heard or seen females that are slim or thin saying they're trying to get thick. Or they want a booty. I remember when my cousin moved from Chicago down to Atlanta. She was as slim as can be hence why we put the [Lil'] in front of her name. Well within a couple of years she was no longer the skinny young girl we all knew she had indeed gotten a bit thick. Could be that down south food I'm not sure but if you go down south you will definitely see ass for days and cheeks for weeks. LoL.

Now typically the thickness and the big "sometimes ghetto" booties are seen on black women. That was until a new phenomenon (as rapper Ludacris referred to it) occurred. And some how White girls even started getting these booties. Black men had no clue what was occurring was it something in the water or what? I remember when most white women suffered from the Nassatall (No Ass At All) disease. But my brother and I think that we figured out what it is though. Yep you can find one in just about every suburb and city. It's tasty goodness is just as addictive as crack. Yes the beloved Starbucks is our theory as to why white girls are getting thicker. Think about it, they are the main consumers of Starbucks, they probably drink it at least daily or possibly more. They hang out at the stores with their laptops sipping they're Caramel Macchiato Grande size in a Venti Cup with extra whip cream (yeah that's the only thing I've drank from there before and it's damn good I must admit). But usually white guys aren't attracted to big butts. So who are the white girls trying to attract? Hmmm? You be the judge: conspiracy theory or true fact? Check out ya girl Kim Kardashian. LoL.

(Starbucks in hand)

(With her Black man [Reggie Bush])

Well my brother recently told me that a white girl asked him this question? "Why do black guys like Big Butts?" This prompted a short discussion between him and I about this topic. We both agreed that in our opinion although big butts are great, they're not the end all to be all. We much prefer that a female's body simply be well proportioned. Basically if you're a slimmer female and really have no booty there is nothing wrong with that as your booty matches your body type. But to be extra slim but then have a humongous booty is just a little disproportionate. The opposite also holds true. Now I know E-40 mentioned the booty big enough to sit a cup on in the Lil' Jon song "Snap Yo Fingaz;" however, I can hold my own cup thank you very much. LoL.

So really, what is the draw?

We all know that men are visual creatures where as women are more turned on in the mental. So any man (black man especially)would be lying if he didn't admit that a big butt is nice to look at. Also, he'd be lying if he says he doesn't check out women's butts. In fact it's probably the opposite he probably doesn't miss an opportunity to get a glimpse as a female walks past. Just waiting for that opportunity to do like Craig and Smokey looking at Mrs. Parker in Friday "Daaaaamn!" LoL. The sad thing is that some men feel that even if the woman's face and or appearance aren't too appealing that as long as they are thick and or have a big butt that it can make up for the fact that they aren't attractive in the face. Now I may offend some men and possibly have a lynch mob waiting on my after I say this next statement, but I have to be honest. Although they have some of the biggest butts in in the business, Buffy the Body and Deelishis (Flavor of Love) both fit into this category. They are not the best of lookers. So I'm sorry me personally, I'll take a pretty face and little to no booty any day over an ugly or unattractive face and a huge butt. If I can barely stand to look you in your face what's the point? Am I just going to just talk to exclusively to your booty? Can I have an intelligent conversation with your booty? Do we sleep head to foot and I get to wake up looking at your booty instead of your face? When we get married will the minister say I now pronounce you man and booty, then I unveil the booty revealing a nice lil' thong? I know I'm getting a little extreme but you basically get the gist of what I'm saying.

(Buffy the Body)

(Deelishis)

Well the bottom line is that all women are beautiful in their own regards. But there is no real explanation or reason as to why men [especially black men] like big butts. You can try to be theoretical and go back to ancient African civilizations and say it has something to do with a woman's child bearing ability. Or you can simply say men are horny freaks and their admiration of big butts is simply proof of that. Either way neither explanation will change the fact that at the end of the day if a woman walks past with a big butt that a man will break his neck to get just the slightest glimpse of what kind of junk she has in her trunk. Also, it won't stop him from picking up the latest issue of King Magazine. And if you have never seen an issue, lets just say men aren't buying them to read the articles. Although I'm sure there is pure journalism excellence inside each issue.

--C-Recks--

Scavenger Hunt

So I got an e-mail yesterday from a girl I used to talk to a few years back. It was a surprise to even hear from her considering we hadn't talked in over a year. So we e-mailed back and forth a few times and caught up. She asked the usual catching up questions about career, kids, and love life. I answered each question. And in turn asked her the same questions. She answered all in detail; however, when I asked about love life she said uhhhh and hesitated. In the back of my head I'm thinking uh oh that's not good. But she proceeded to tell me she had been with her man for a year now and how things weren't going well and why. Now I didn't ask for all these details, but she felt the need to tell me. So I simply listened to all she had to say but I didn't say anything back to her about her situation. But then I began to think more about it and well now I have this to say.


To my fellas you better get on your A+ Game!!! If you got a good woman I'm telling you now don't slip up. Take it from a man that's been through it before. Let my pain save you from the same fate. There are men out there as we speak that are just waiting on you to mess up. Unfortunately if you've already messed up well you better get it together and real quick. I know this doesn't apply to all women, and I'm no expert but I feel like the majority of women fall into this category here. Those women aren't going to leave their man or cheat on him just off G.P. Women need a good reason in order to just mentally justify it within themselves. The fact is that any average to good looking woman is going to be pursued all day every day by men. Whether she is at work, at the mall, at the grocery store, walking down the street, or on the Internet a guy will be trying to holla. So therefore, if her man is on his job she may hear these advances but they go in one ear and out the other. However, let you start slipping up. Oh you better believe her ears will start hearing it all and worse than hearing it she may act upon what she hears.

Now the reason I call them scavengers is because just like real scavengers in the wild (i.e. a vulture or a hyena) they prey upon the weak, hurt and or dead (which can all be describe the status of your relationship). And as soon as they see an opportunity to swoop in and get your woman they will definitely take it. No man (unless you're a scavenger yourself) appreciates nor really likes the scavenger men. But they're a part of life. And unfortunately you still have to respect they gangsta! As it was once told to me in so many words "Yo chick chose me." LoL. Just look at the example I opened with. Luckily for her man I'm not one of these scavengers or else she would have given me all the info I needed to make my next move my best move.

But again all you can do is be on your A+ Game at all times and set the bar high enough that no other man can even reach what you do or will do for your woman. As they say one man's trash is another man's treasure. Or what you don't appreciate someone else will. Choose whatever clever cliche you want to use, but it all boils down to the same thing. Betty Wright gave the female's perspective on the same topic and warned about the "The Clean Up Woman." Well unfortunately these scavengers have constant ammunition they can use to shoot game at your woman. And it comes in the form of song lyrics. We've all heard these songs before. But don't let one of them come on when your woman is next to you and you know you have messed up. Oh do I feel for you. LoL.

So, with that said we've compiled our Top Ten songs that talk about taking another man's woman! (Could be your woman...)


#10 - Chris Brown - Ya Man Aint Me
Even the young'n Chris Brown is no fool when it comes to knowing what to say to get to another man's girl. As you can listen in the song he tells the young lady "giving you things to think about cause I know what's up) Since he aint tryna step it up, don't you think you should give him up?" See a lot of the times the only goal is to plant a seed in the mind. He's simply making a suggestion. By the time he reaches the chorus the lyrics state "Stop tripping, I know you got a man but girl he's slipping, I can see myself gettin in where I fit in." And I'm sure that by the time he gets to the bridge he's managed to change her mind. "You and him aint meant to be together, life with me will be better. Yes, let him leave you'll be doing yourself a favor girl I'm just tryna save you." This was very smooth, he even managed to cover up his actual intentions by making it as if he's playing captain Save Em'.

#9 - Keith Sweat Feat. Keyshia Cole - Love You Better
Keith Sweat has been begging since the the 80's. Well he's back this year with a new album and on it features this little gem of a song. He teams up with Keyshia Cole as he puts her man on full blast. Check out the lines of the first verse: "You need to go and let him know right now. ‘Cuz he don’t even know how to make you smile. Y’all don’t even makin love, see it’s over baby. He spend all his night at the strip club. When what he got at home girl is real love." Now I'm not mad at anyone for going to the strip club but how is he gone put her man's business out there like that. And further more I'm just curious how he knows how much time he spends at the strip club unless he frequents the same establishment. The chorus gets to the point and lets her know what her next move should be. "Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody new.
Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody who. Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody, Who can love you better, I can love you better."

#8 - Jesse Mccartney - Leavin'
Now here's another unique strategy of scavengers. Jesse Mccartney doesn't really have a valid argument in this song as to why she should leave her man (not one that he mentions at least). Therefore, he resorts to flaunting all he has to offer. "You make me want to take you out and let it rain (make it rain). I know you got a man, but this is what you should say." And once again there's instructions on what she needs to say to her man in the chorus. "Why won’t you tell him that... I’m leavin', never to come back again, You found somebody who does it better than he can No more making you cry, no more of them gray skies, Girl we flying on that G-5, G-5
And we're leavin', never to come back again, So call your shorty and tell him you found a new man. The one that so, so fly, The one that keep you high... Don't Stress Girl you deserve nothing but the best." Again I don't know what this girl's man did besides probably being broke but sometimes that's enough to cause you to slip up.

#7 - Sam Salter - Once my S**t (Always my S**t)

Well Sam Salter brings us to another version of the scavenger. This is actually one that you should already be leery and aware of. It's the Ex. Although he should technically be out of the picture lets just say he can easily find his way on the scene especially if you start messing up. His only hope is that you're messing up worse than he did to lose her. And in this song Sam quickly makes it known that he's waiting on his opportunity to get her back. "I heard you found someone new, he's runnin round town just frontin' on you." The 2nd verse gets a little more personal. "Did he see your tattoo? With my name written all over you. I know that he hates me, cause he can't replace me. Cause in the end I'm the one for you." Well it doesn't take long for Sam to re-mark his territory. The chorus goes as follows: "He can't do it like I do, I do, I do, No I don't give a damn who's hittin' it, I don't give a damn who's workin' it, even if he's kissin' it. Cause once my S**t ...always my s**t!!" Unfortunately you can't erase history and if you slipping up history will repeat itself but not to your benefit.

#6 - Joe - Treat Her Like a Lady
#6 was originally going to be a different song by Joe "You Dropped your Dime." However being unable to find the video to go with the song we decided to switch to a different Joe song. Although it's not quite about him taking another man's girl it's still extremely relevant. On "Treat her Like a Lady" Joe is actually doing the same thing in which I am and giving men some advice on how to prevent them from losing their ladies. Joe immediately begins by asking a series of questions throughout the song. " Tell me when was the last time, you brought her roses home from work. Tell me when was the last time, you rubbed her feet when she said they hurt. Tell me when was the last time, you bought a card to tell her how you feel. Don't even know when was the last time, you lit a candle for a late night meal."Yeah I'm sure that will hit home with a lot of you men. But don't for a second think that's it, the chorus pours even more salt into your wound. "How long will it be before you treat her like your queen. And how long will it take, before she starts coming home too late. And how long will it be, before she starts running in the streets. You better take the time to treat her like your lady." A select few of you even get a little reprieve when Joe states "Now if this don't apply to you, keep doing what you do. But if the shoe fits you well, take a minute and just ask yourself." All I gotta say is if you don't listen to me at least listen to Joe.

#5 - Mario - Let Me Love you
Mario didn't hesitate to immediately let the woman know that her situation with her man just isn't what it should be. He opens up the song stating: "Baby I just don't get it do you enjoy being hurt? I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt. You don't believe his stories you know that they're all lies. Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why." As if that wasn't enough to plead his case the chorus to the song goes on to state "If I was ya man (baby you) Never worry bout (what I do) I'd be coming home (back to you) Every night, doin' you right. You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs) Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings) Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)."

#4 - Jagged Edge - He Can't Love You
"I aint no hata or nothing but he can't love you like I can. Trust me" What a way to start off the song. It definitely sets the tone for JE to not "hate" on her man. Apparently they're playing the role of the Ex and they've let their girl slip away. Now they're trying to pull a move like Sam Salter was in song #7. The chorus says it all: "He can't love you like I love you Baby you know it too. And you should never wanna be with a man If he can't be a man And do the things to you like I can."

#3 - LL Cool J Feat. Boyz II Men- Hey Lover

LL has been writing songs for the ladies since the 80's. Hence the name LL (Ladies Love) But he definitely took it to a new level when he teamed up with Boyz II Men to do "Hey Lover." In a random encounter on the street LL sees a woman and from the onset he plans on taking her from her man. In verse one he states "I gotta take ya from your man that's my mision, If his love is real he got ta handle competition." Then next on his agenda is to build his case as he explains "you only knew him for about 5 months (that's right) besides he drinks too much and smokes too many blunts." Also, he states "I see you at the bus stop waitin everyday your man must think its safe for you to travel that way." But he does digress stating he's not trying to violate her relationship. Although most of L's song is a fantasy of what he would do or say to the woman it's still realistic in the fact that it's exactly how it happens.

#2 - Tre Songz - Can't Help But Wait
The person that wrote and or produced "Can't Help but Wait" must have also had something to do with the aforementioned "Let me Love you" by Mario #5. If you listen they both virtually sound the same. Although the concept is the same, Tre Songz approaches it just a little differently. "I see you, you're with him - he ain’t right but you don’t trip You stand by, while he lies - then turn right 'round and forgive. I can’t take to see your face, with those tears run down your cheeks..." Even though those words sound just the same as all the other songs the chorus is where he differentiates himself. "Girl I can’t help but wait Til’ you get back with him, it don’t change. Can’t help but wait Til’ you see that wit me it ain’t the same. Can’t help but wait Til’ you, see you, for what you really are Baby girl you are a star And I can’t help but wait." So Tre is basically saying he already knows she's going to stay with the guy even though things are bad. But even still he's going to wait for her to see it herself. Just like the others Tre says "And I don’t wanna come between you and your man. Even though I know I treat you better than he can." Then to add insult to injury he flosses a little in the 2nd verse. "You’re a queen, you should be, getting all that someone’s got. You should be rocking the latest in purses, bracelets, and watches, your're worth much more than an occasional I love you." So even after laying out his plan he is going to still be there waiting even when she doesn't choose him. But he still warns her "Get it together you can do better."

Alright we're down to #1. I'm sure you've been wondering what # this song was going to come in. But here it is the #1 song about taking another man's woman. Drum Roll Please..

#1 - Joe - All the Things your Man Won't Do
Well the title alone tells you what the topic of the song is and also explains why Joe comes in at #1 with this song. He gets right into the topic at hand with the first verse: "Tell me what kind of man would treat his woman so cold treat you like you're nothin' when you're worth more than gold. Girl, to me you're like a diamond I love the way you shine a hundred million dollar treasure I'll give the world to make you mine." Then Joe pulls out pure game when he says this line in the 2nd verse "What good is a diamond nobody can see it I hear he got you on lock down but I got the master key!" Bam! He got her right there he doesn't even have to say anything else. But why not keep going while you got her on the ropes just to officially pull her in. "I'll light a thousand candles all around. Show me to the subway, I'll go down. Nothing can be sweeter than the sound of making love." But don't think he's done yet. Joe does a little bit of over kill here at the bridge "I'll make your body cream with my sex machine I won't stop until I hear your mother scream." Making yo momma scream? Damn! Well you can see and hear for yourself why Joe is #1.

In conclusion, I can't say that all the men that fit the category of scavengers even try to do it on purpose. Sometimes it's just a crime of opportunity. No different than a man walking past an armored truck and the back door being unlocked and the bags of money are just sitting there for you to take they may as well be gift wrapped with a bow. Yes they are still committing a crime which is wrong but their intentions from the beginning weren't to rob the armored truck. They've probably never committed a crime in their life, but sometimes when it's presented to them so easy they can't help but to take advantage. So to my fellas out there make sure you take heed. It's never an overnight process and it can be happening as we speak maybe you're just not paying close enough attention. It always starts off as just friends or someone to talk to and vent to about how you messed up. You know an occasional shoulder to cry on. But you better believe the scavenger is simply playing his position just for the time being. But as soon as he sees an opportunity he will swoop in and quickly turn those things she hates about you into reasons why he should be her new man. Please believe it...

--C-Recks--