Cereal Killer

So just like any given weekend my son is here with me. I will admit that he's a very picky eater. But he does get it honest. So when breakfast time rolls around and he's given the usual choices for breakfast, you never know what exactly he will choose. Well this morning he chose to have cereal. However, my son chooses to eat his cereal dry no milk. But will take a cup of juice on the side. Don't ask me why, but like I said the boy is a picky eater. Well this morning I decided to join him in a bowl of cereal. But as I was eating I asked myself a question that I have asked before. Am I too old to be eating some damn cereal?

I mean I've never seen any age restrictions on a box of cereal. But this morning as I was eating my cereal, I sat and thought should a grown ass man really be eating Fruity Pebbles? I mean just the name of the cereal alone doesn't sound like anything a grown ass man should be associated with. I guess Fruit Loops fits this same category. LOL. Now that's not necessarily my favorite cereal, but it's what we had in the cupboard at the time. I mean I very rarely will even eat breakfast at all. But the very few times I eat cereal, I will admit that I have a very strange way of eating my cereal. I'll break down how it works.

While most do the typical pour cereal in the bowl and add milk then eat, I choose a different approach. See my main goal in eating cereal is to avoid it getting soggy. I don't know about anyone else but soggy cereal is probably one of the most disgusting things there is. I have never liked it since a kid. I can't even watch someone else eat soggy cereal. And I hated when I got told "You better finish your cereal before you get up from the table" especially after it got soggy. Why someone has not invented a way to keep a cereal from going soggy behooves me to this day. I found this supposed "invention" online called the "New Angle Cereal Bowl" that's supposed to eliminate the cereal from getting soggy. You can watch the video of the commercial for yourself, but it seems very suspect to me. My version of eating cereal does the exact same thing if you ask me.

But anyways I digress. Back to my cereal eating process.

Step 1: Add Milk to bowl.

Step 2: Bring bowl with milk and spoon and box of cereal to table.

Step 3: Pour a small amount of cereal into the milk.

Step 4: Quickly begin to eat the cereal.

Step 5: After cereal in bowl is gone repeat steps 3, 4 and 5 until the milk is all gone.

Again, I admit that it's a weird process to eat a bowl of cereal but it eliminates the chance of it getting soggy. Small amounts of cereal poured in at a time limit this from happening. I will also admit that for this reason, when I eat cereal I don't really get to enjoy it. I feel like it's a race against time. I have to devour what's in the bowl before it gets soggy. This is one of the reasons I choose to eat cereal alone. Well there is another reason, but that is probably equally as strange. For some reason I can not sit and eat cereal with another person. Don't judge me. I will attempt to explain and plead my sanity case a little further. LoL.

I can remember being younger and at breakfast time my brother would sit across from me. But for some reason listening to him eat cereal just got on my damn nerves. I mean I'm so far from being the morning person. Therefore, already waking up being irritated and hearing him slurp down a bowl of cereal made me want to toss my bowl across the table at him. Sorry Bro, but it's true. LoL. If you asked he will probably admit that he felt the exact same about me when it came to cereal eating. I guess cereal is just not a quiet enough food to eat.

Lastly, I'm curious has anyone else ever done this nasty mess here. I remember my bro and I being at my cousins house. Now it was about 4 of them at the time so imagine a house full of 6 kids ranging from ages 5-10. Well when breakfast time came just like all little kids we wanted cereal. Well just like that scene in the movie Friday, we all poured up big bowls of cereal. And of course we go to the fridge for milk and there is none. Well we were all pretty broke in those days and we were told there would be no milk for this breakfast. I can't recall the culprit, but I have a clue. But someone yelled out I'm eating mines with water and proceeded to pour up. WTF? Water? I was going to eat mines dry like my son, but that ruined my entire appetite there. LoL. In an effort to keep the not snitching streak going I won't mention any names.

Well I don't know if me occasionally enjoying a bowl or 5 of cereal constitutes juvenile behavior but if so then it is what it is. If I could enjoy breakfast in bed (which I recently had. ;-) LoL) on the daily with pancakes, eggs, and bacon then I would stray away from cereal. But until then I will surely be enjoying a bowl of cereal every now and then. Not to mention I'm not a milk drinker so eating cereal allows my minimal amount of calcium intake. LoL. In closing gotta give a shout out to a few of my favorites.

Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, Fruit Loops, Honey Comb, and Golden Grahams. Oh and I found this one quite interesting. Obama O's. LoL. It's a damn shame, but someone's probably buying this mess. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Voicemail Tales

In my 9-5 job I am required to both answer and make many phone calls throughout the course of a day's work. Well I have a gripe I need to share. (I know you're thinking what else is new. Lol). Over the course of years working where I do presently and other companies doing similar work, I've probably left more than 100,000 voicemail and answering machine messages. In doing so, I've probably heard every type of voicemail greeting that there is to hear. To the point where I know when I know when I can just press pound(#), or 1 to get directly to the voicemail.

So here's my list of personal favorite voicemail greetings. And when I say favorite I mean I can't stand them and get tired of hearing them over and over again. So don't get confused. LoL. If any of you have these types of voicemail greetings this is not directed at you. I could care less about what type of voicemail greeting you have because, well I don't have to call you. LoL.

April Fools!

Phone Rings 4xs:

Hello?

Me: Hi can I speak to Mr./Mrs. So & So

Hello?

Me: (Frustrated at having to repeat myself) Yes I need to speak to Mr/Mrs. So & So Please!

Who's Calling?

Me: This is C-Recks from (My company name)

3 sec Pause...

Me: Hello?

Ha! Ha! I got you leave a message after the beep.

Now I love a good joke like anyone else; however, getting 2-3 of these type of voicemail greetings a day is frustrating and annoying as hell. Usually these leave me wanting to say some obscene things on the voice mail that could get me fired. LoL. Now some of you may be thinking, how do you keep falling for those? Well to be honest I don't too much pay attention to what's going on until I either hear someone say hello or a beep. But most of these are so clever you can't tell that it's a prank until they've gotten you. To those that do this you have absolutely too much time on your hands.

American Idol Auditions

I will admit that the best part of the show American Idol is probably the thousands of auditions from the would be singers that have no talent at all. So yes I like to sit and laugh at those individuals. Someone should have told them they can't sing before they came on TV to make a fool out of themselves. But that's besides the point. Nonetheless, I hate it when non-singing and or non-rapping people try to flex their absent skills on their voice mails. I don't want to hear you doing your best rendition of Keyshia Cole's "Love." Nor do I want to hear a freestyle rap about how you can't answer the phone, that sounds like the Blue Blocker man. As a rapper with some talent this offends me. LoL. If you have talent then you should be recording in the studio not on your voicemail. Although they sometimes make me laugh, I don't have time to listen to that madness.

Stick to the Script

Phone Rings 4xs

Hi I'm Katie, I'm Derek, I'm Catherine and I'm Paul, and (in unison) you've reaches the Stevensons we're not home right now so leave a message at the tone and we'll get back to you. Beep!

I don't want to call them wanna be actors, but these clever individuals choose to plan out a whole script when it comes to their voicemail greeting. They don't mind even getting the kids involved. Everyone can get written into the script. These individuals have a different voicemail depending on the upcoming Holiday. If it's Halloween they may leave a greeting sounding like Dracula. If it's Christmas they'll belt out their jolliest Ho Ho Ho. I know that Christmas is coming up I see the commercials, displays, date on the calendar, and my son is on countdown mode. Therefore, I don't need to be reminded by your voicemail.

User Error

Phone Rings x4

You've reached the sprint pcs voicemail for: "Yeah I don't know what's going on with this thing I'm still waiting on the beep, it's taking forever." At the tone leave a message at the end of your message press # for more options.

No offensive but some people are just not that technologically advanced. But it really doesn't take too much technical savvy to record your name at the beep and press # then follow the rest of the prompts to set up your voicemail. But hey maybe it's just me.

Kids Incorporated

Similar to the script writers previously mentioned, these individuals basically hand the phone over to the kids and let them leave the voicemail greeting. I've heard greetings that are as simple as "Call my momma back!" Then the more complex where you can hear the parent in the background feeding the kid the lines to recite. But it's still a kid so you eventually hear them mess up in the middle and try to whisper "What was I supposed to say?" I will admit these voice mails can be kind of cute, and sometimes funny. However, I just want to get to the point and leave my message, I just don't need all the extra theatrics.

Musical Chairs

I'm probably the biggest music lover that there is, and I love when I call someone's voice mail and they're playing my song. However, I can only take so much. If it's 30 secs of the song then cool I'll listen, bob my head a little bit, tap my foot, and maybe even hum a note or 2. However, once the song gets into the 1-3 minute mark it's just getting ridiculous. If I want to hear the song that bad I'll go to I-Tunes or turn on the radio. I don't need to hear the whole damn song on your voicemail. Now I know you may be thinking why don't I just press # and go directly to leaving a message? Well trust I know that works for most cell phones; however, depending on the carrier pressing # during the greeting will prompt it to ask you for you pin number. Therefore, you have to hang up, call back, and listen to the whole damn song again. Therefore, I don't risk trying that. But wait now they have those Call Tones. So instead of hearing the phone ringing you hear a snippet of a song. If you have a call tone please don't follow it up with a voice mail greeting that is full of a 3 minute song, this is just over kill!

Sunday Service

Now don't get me wrong I love God just as much as the next. Also, I know that as Christian's our job is to spread God's word to the world by any and all means possible. However, does that necessarily include your personal voicemail too? These individuals will begin and end their voice mail with a scripture from the bible. I mean to the point where I'm searching for a bible just so I can follow along. As much as I appreciate the good word for the day, I'm calling Monday - Friday and I'm just trying to work. Hit me with the word on Sunday please. Oh and they will never forget to tell you at the end to "Have a Blessed Day," which I appreciate. I need all the blessings I can get. LoL.

Bottom line is that we all have the right to do whatever we want on our voice mails. These are just my frustrations being expressed. But all I'm saying is why not keep it simple? "Hi this is _____ sorry I missed your call please leave me a message and I'll return your call." Or just don't record a message and let the regular cell phone message say your number and then the beep. Sometimes there is just no need for all the extra stuff. Plus you never know who is going to be calling you. What if you're trying to get a new job and they hear some of this madness I discussed? But again I digress. I'm sure that throughout the course of my day I will hear any and all of these voice mails at some point. But at least via blogger I can share my pain with the world. Maybe someone will feel me. LoL. Oh if I missed any feel free to add to my list.

--C-Recks--

Text and E-Mail Forwards...

Okay I know you all either get them or some of you are the annoying people that send them. Yes I'm talking about those damn e-mail and text message forwards. I can't even count how many times a day I get these damn things. And to add insult to injury I'm one of the lucky people that has a smart phone so I get double the exposure. (Lucky Me).

What's the purpose though? I mean yes a select few are funny. I don't mind those. But I hate the ones that come with instructions followed by some warning about if you don't forward them.

"Send this to 10 people or you'll have bad sex for the next 10 years."

"Send this to 10 people or you'll die."

"Send this to 10 people or you're going to hell."

I mean wtf??? I've never heard this one in the commandments. "Thou shalt not delete forwarded text messages."

The e-mails are probably worse. Filling up my inbox worse than spam. And they're longer who has time to read 20 forwarded e-mails from work. I have work to do dammit!! At least with spam you can click the unsubscribe button and stop em. But these come from people I know and love. If you love me why annoy me? Don't worry I return the love with each click of the delete button. Lol.

My question is this. Who's the person that originates these things. Who sits and thinks of some of this stuff? Who really has the time? I don't even have the time to forward them to the 10 people. I would like to one day though and send it out to one person and see if it ever comes back from someone other than that person. It would be something stupid as hell. Here just thought of one.

"This text message is for all of you that love to be annoyed, here's another meaningless message just because I have nothing better to do. If you're smart you'll just delete this. But if you don't forward you'll receive 200 more annoying forwards today."

Sound about right? Hell it may get around the world if I send it. So Look for it in an e-mail box near you.

C-Recks out!!