Low Profile

As the light turned green the driver began a left hand turn. As he turned he looked right and noticed a police car stopped at the red light. As he turned fully onto the street he said to his passenger "Damn the cops." The passenger replied "what did you do? You're not drunk are you?" "No I only had 2 beers with dinner."

As the light turned green for the cop car he immediately pulled up behind the driver. The driver then said to his female passenger "I'm about to be pulled over." She replied "what? Why? how do you know?"

The driver pops a mint in his mouth right before taking off at the next green light.

As the car passed through another major intersection, the cop shined his bright light and turned on the police lights to pull over the car. As the cop pulls up the driver begins to roll down the window. The cop has his hand on his gun and flashlight in the driver's face. He motions to him without saying it to "keep his hands where he can see them."

Next comes the questions and answer session, which covers everything except the color of your mom's vaginal walls when you were delivered during birth:

Cop: "What state are these tags from?"

Driver: Ohio Sir

C: They expired last year

D: Actually they are not expired you can see that someone tried to unsuccessfully steal and remove the tag

C: Whose car is this?

D: My girlfriend's she's right here.

C: Do you have a license?

D: Yes... *reaches for ticket in his wallet* I'm driving on a ticket, but I paid it and they still haven't sent me my license. Perhaps it got lost since I've moved.

C: You didn't change your address?

D: No not yet.

C: Well where are you coming from?

D: From Home

C: Where do you live

D: Give his exact address

C: How long have you lived there

D: A few months

C: [Speaking to the Girlfriend] You do know you're supposed to change over your tags within 30 days of moving?

GF: Yes, I'm here for school.

C: How long have you lived here?

GF: 2 months.

C: Where do you live?

D: Attempts to answer..."She"

C: Give look of I'm not talking to you nigger I'm asking her...

GF: We live together

As he speaks to the couple the cop continues to shine his light into the car looking for any suspicious items, drugs, guns, etc. The cop's partner is on the passenger side with his flash light doing the same. An under cover car pulls up as they're interrogating to ask if they need assistance. The cop waves them off & the Under cover car speeds off.

C: Do you have insurance.

GF: Yes I just have to look for it.

GF begins to look through the glove compartment for the insurance card. Pulling out papers from the glove compartment she gives some to the driver to look through as well. She finds a card but it is expired.

Cop walks away and goes to run the plates and license while they continue to search for the insurance card.

GF: I must not have put the updated card in here.

D: Oh well nothing we can do now.

Cop comes back to the driver side.

C: You need to remove that placard from around your plates because you can't tell what state it's from. Also, you need to get this registration changed over as soon as possible.

**hands license to the driver**

C: You folks have a good night.

D: Thanks

As the cop car pulls away. The couple begins to notice it wasn't just one car that pulled them over, as they begin to count together aloud...

D/GF: One, Two, Three, Four... Four Cop cars Wow!

D: And there was an undercover one I saw too but they just didn't stop.

The End...


The story above is a true story I am the driver and the passenger is my girlfriend. We were pulled over for no reason 2 nights ago. We were less than 5 minutes away from our home and racially profiled.

My story is one that has been told before not only by me, but by the many black males throughout the country that face this problem on a daily basis. Yes it's 2010 and guess what? No matter what people may think, racism and racial profiling still exists. I've seen it time and time again that I've been pulled over for no other reason than the fact I'm black.

Some would say "you're lucky you didn't get a ticket." Or it could've been worse. Well I guess I say to that. If I had've gotten a ticket it may have at least made more sense to me. It may have made it more random. But the fact none of that happened well it just goes further to prove my point. But again, my plight is not greater than any other black man in America. The only difference is that mine did turn out good. I only imagine how it would've turned out if I had've had a record. I'm sure they would've searched the car. But wait, I've had that happen to me in the past same situation same girlfriend, just a different car. So, all I can say to that is this is reality.

I once said that to know when the police are behind you for a black man is like a "6th" or "spidey" sense that you're about to be pulled over. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's just that when they do get behind you just anticipate that it's going to happen and being black means that the odds are in your favor that it will happen. Irregardless, the end result is the same. You get left feeling humiliated, embarrassed and pissed all at the same time.

Side Bar: I guess the only thing they haven't done to me yet is pull me over with my son in the car. That is a day I absolutely dread. The main reason being is this. When I was my son's age I witnessed my father handcuffed, arrested, thrown into the back of a cop car and accused of a crime he didn't commit. While I stood there and got to play on the police computer in the front seat. I could only imagine the thoughts that went through my dad's head at that time. I pray I never have to experience that situation, and pray that 10 years from now when my son is driving that things will have gotten better.

But I guess that's what it's all designed to do anyway. Especially if they can't actually pop you on any type of charges. Honestly, I can go on for days and days and honestly, the handful of times I've been pulled over probably don't even equal 30% of the times my brother has been pulled over. He drives for a living so unfortunately he's had to face this on many more occasions than I have. He keeps a tally of the # of times he's been pulled over but I don't.

**Sends text to brother to see his current total # of times he's been pulled over**

So the figure I got back was a whopping 42-44 times he's been pulled over. I don't know how far back he went with that statistic but regardless that's a lot of times to be pulled over. I would say in my lifetime it's probably been less than 15, so my 30% is just about accurate. To close I'm know that I'm working on 1 day being a successful business man. But regardless of what kind of money I make in the future as Kanye said "Even if you drive a benz you still a nigga in a coup."






I know this was supposed to be a comeback blog since it's been so long since I've written, but sorry that it turned out to be a long drawn out story.


--C-Recks--

@crecks on twitter follow for more daily insight.

Letter to Britt

What you're about to read is something I wrote probably 4-5 months ago. Unfortunately, one of my cousins was convicted of a crime and went to jail. Well upon hearing he was actually going in I knew that it was going to be hard on the family. The night before he had to turn himself in (the end of last year) me, my bro, my girl (best friend then), and my cuzz all kicked it out. Well needless to say I ended up way gone off alcohol that night as did he. I remember waking up to a call from him. After saying hello he simply stated "Yous an Asshole you know that." LoL. Apparently I was the cause of him getting fucked up. LoL. Oh what a memory.

Unfortunately my communication with my cuzz has been damn near nothing since that morning. I somehow expected that it would slim though. I know you're probably thinking you can always write him. Well unfortunately, I knew that me being able to sit and write him would be a difficult thing to do. As many blogs, poems, and songs as I write you'd think sitting and penning a few paragraphs to my cuzz would be easy.

Well I will admit that it has been even harder than I expected. I definitely felt bad about it, yet still couldn't get through enough lines to write a letter. However, I knew he was doing okay as he called and checked in with him mom and even my brother fairly often. Well a few weeks ago I got a call from a blocked phone #. Normally I would disregard such a call, but I was expecting an important call so I answered. I was too shocked when I heard it was my cuzz calling me from jail.

When I heard the voice on the other end he sounded his normal silly, jovial, and positive self. Of course I apologized for not writing. But he definitely understood. He actually stated that his mom had been printing out our blogs here and sending them to him. That made me happy that even though I hadn't written, he was still in touch with some of what had been going on via our blog. Well after that conversation I decided to dig out what you're about to read below. Although I hadn't written him a letter I used my other talent and wrote him a song. My intentions when I wrote it some months back were to do a youtube video and actually perform this song. I never got around to doing that.

But for your reading pleasure you can envision me reciting these words below. I wrote it using the "Letter to B.I.G." beat that Jadakiss used. I know everyone was doing their own version of this song back then, so this was my version. The video is below. I would have preferred to have just the instrumental playing while you read but I was unable to find it.

So without further ado, here it is ya'll my "Letter to Britt."



Its been a few months you're probably wondering why I haven't wrote yet/ the truth is/ its no excuse/ I just can't focus/ to think of you being locked down just messes with my mental/ so I scribble/ a couple lines and just put down my pencil/ to explain how much I miss you/ was just hard to do/ easiest way was to sit and write these bars for you/ you behind bars its true/ but I still reminisce about/ the night before you turned yourself in and how we kicked it out/ I drank away the pain I didn't wanna see you go/ my younger cuzz man I used to watch and see you grow/ now you all grown up doing things like a man do/ got caught up in some shit life don't go the way we planned to/ too...just gotta handle what they hand you/ you know the court system they just tryna make examples/ outta young black youth/ the truth is hard to swallow/ too many dead or in jail no one is promised tomorrow/ my motto/ to keep it movin despite circumstances/ we all make mistakes but deserve second chances/ so when we get out/ just take a different route/ so much going on in the world I hate you missing out/ your baby girl getting bigger with every day that pass/ I know you gotta make that cash/ but I pray that's past/ future's yet to be determined they say life's what you make it/ anxious/ for your release but just gotta stay patient/ mean while just keep your head high/ aimed to the sky/ I wipe away your moms tears but I'm too gangsta to cry/ while you facing your time/ try to focus on God/ think of life as a poker game no folding the cards/ knowing its hard/ and I still can't believe myself/ you get out I got your back if you need my help/ this letter is heart felt/ I hope it reach you well/ I pray your time flies by and you find peace in jail/ when you read this mail/ know that when you get home/ celebration on/ got them bottles of patron/ ain't been long/ but it feels like forever to me/ and if you been through this storm then try to weather with me/ whether it be/ just a few months/ or a life sentence/ we all just tryna see through the dark like night vision/ in an instant/ dark nights change to bright days/ when christ came/ we all noticed how your life changed/ its quite strange/ I'm sure it made you a better man/ cuz what you going through man/ I know that I never can/ as the sands of time pass through the hour glass/ know the future ain't always defined by our past!!!

Love You cuzz, can't wait to see you come November!

The First Should Be Last?!?! Part 2

Date: Summer 2005

Location: Chicago (Westside)

"Here you go sip on that."

"What is it?" I replied as I sniffed the strong scent of something that definitely didn't smell appealing.

"It's called a Hennessy Sno-Cone!"

I'll never forget those words. Let me first back track and give some slight background information before I finish that story. I was never really a drinker. For whatever reason... Well I won't lie I know the reason. It wasn't that I couldn't tolerate alcohol, or didn't like the taste of it, or had a bad experience. However, I was in a relationship from age 16 that turned to marriage and the person I was with didn't drink. Therefore, that meant I didn't drink. Oh wait we would get wild and crazy every now and then and drink a wine cooler or 2. Sad I know. My cousin won't let me live the Bartels and James days down. LoL.

Well that summer of 2005, I found myself 25 years young, separated from my wife (soon to be divorced), and feeling like a man that just got out of jail doing a 10 year bid. Free at last, Free at last, Thank God oh mighty!! Well my brother was in town and didn't hesitate to take advantage of my new found freedom and introduce me to some things I had missed out on while "locked down." He started this process the weeks leading up to this particular day in question. You know a beer here, a shot there, and a mixed drink over there. But nothing excessive as he knew that I was still a lightweight.

Well that summer day in the Chi my brother and his boy E came and scooped me up. In the hatch area of the truck they were driving they had a strategically placed cooler full of beer and some other alcohol. Our destination was going to be the West Side of Chicago. A location called the Circle. Which was nothing but a big park that went in a circle and where people went to stunt hang out, etc. As we arrived I noticed my brother's guy E had 2 girls follow us up there. Now this brought a lot of attention to us. Reason being they were both white girls and 1 of them had the Starbucks behind. LoL. Anyways, as we parked, the drinks started flowing. First some pre-mixed Bacardi Long Island Ice Tea. Then some beer, then more Long Island. It was enough to start feeling lovely. It was a hot summer evening. The park was packed; every where you looked there was a hustle man or woman selling something.

That's when someone walked up selling something. I couldn't tell what it was from my angle. But I saw E go over and purchase something for $5. He then walked back over. And That's where the story begins from up top.

"Here you go sip on that."

"What is it?" I replied as I sniffed the strong scent of something that definitely didn't smell appealing.

"It's called a Hennessy Sno-Cone!"

Yes I said it a Hennessy Sno-Cone (See image below).

+

Don't let the name fool you into thinking it was some fruity concontion with a bit of alcohol in it. No. Hennessy Sno-Cone = Straight Henn poured on top of shaved ice. However, it did resemble the sno-cones that we used to drink as kids. Now I had heard a lot about Hennessy mainly through rap lyrics, but I had never tasted it before. Well I go ahead and wrap my lips around the straw and take a first sip.

Stomach meet Hennessy. Hennessy, Stomach.

I must admit that this was not a very happy meeting at all. Inside my stomach it felt more like a KKK member meeting a Black Panther for the first time. It was summer time but it felt like someone had immediately turned the temperature up to HELL as I began to sweat from the forehead profusely. How is it that the drink is making me hot yet it's on ice? Shaved ice no less. Yeah I couldn't quite fathom the reason for that back then.

So not to look like a punk, especially in front of the ladies and big bro and his boy, I kept sipping this drink (peer preasure is a mutha). I remember getting about half way through the drink and then passing it back off to E. I began feeling a little funny and just a bit dizzy. So I remember having a seat in the truck and passing out at some point. I can't recall how much time passed but the next thing you know, someone made a decision to go to Dave and Busters. Well I wish I would've had a vote in this decision because that was the longest and worst car ride I'd ever had in my life. To me it felt like a 30 minute roller coaster ride (loops and all) that just wouldn't end. My head was spinning out of control like some sort of twister and I'm quite sure I was moaning and groaning the whole ride. My brother later explained he thought I was dying. LoL.

So we finally stop and arrive at the place. I contemplated staying in the car and trying to recover from this horrible feeling. But go figure I remembered about the girls and asked their whereabouts. E says "they followed us, we bout to go in now." So I get out of the car. My brother asks if I'm straight. I figured if I could walk, then I was straight. We walked in the place and I remember them going to shoot basketball. I followed and stood there for a second watching them. Well apparently I was now doing way too much moving around because there was a horrible feeling in my stomach.

I look around and spot the men's room. I rush to it as quickly as I can. I found the closest stall and next thing you know I'm puking my guts out. I remember my brother or E coming in and asking was I alright. I couldn't tell who it was as I had my head damn near inside the bowl of the toilet. After that terrible ordeal of praying to the porcelain God, as I had heard it called so many times before making my very own trip to the alter, I walked out feeling 10xs better. I sat somewhere and ended up falling asleep. Not sure how much time passed but my brother came and found me and woke me up to leave. I said bye to the ladies and climbed back in the truck and fell back asleep on the way home.

As horrible as it felt that first time getting drunk one would think that I would have left alcohol alone. However, that was definitely not the case. I still drink to this day. Although my tolerance is much higher than it was that dreadful summer day, it hasn't stopped me from making more than a few collect calls to Earl. In fact, this past weekend as the Jamie Foxx song goes "I had one too many drinks." And believe it or not, once again, Hennessy was one of the drinks that caused my downfall.

--C-Recks--

Inconvenient Convenience

If you're alive today then there's a 99% chance you have either sent or received a text message before. Now I will admit that I love and enjoy the convenience of being able to text as opposed to making a call. Plus since a young kid I've never been that much of a phone person. I was talking to my son (4yrs. old about to be 5) on the phone the other day and after the usual how are you, how was your day, what are you up to I over hear him whisper to his mom "Mom I don't have anything else to talk about." But I can feel him I'd rather be playing than have a long conversation with my dad too. But I'm sure if his spelling game was a little more advanced he'd probably say just text me daddy. LoL.

Well although a text message can have plenty of advantages and they usually outweigh the disadvantages, there are some things that can still bother you about texting. Maybe it's not necessarily the text message itself but there are certain things associated with text messaging that can be erking to some. Or maybe it has more to do with the person that you're texting on the other end. I've just come up with some things that I'm sure we all have experienced pertaining to the text message and well you can decide how you feel in particular about each item.

Text Forwards

I wrote an entire blog about text forwards you can read it yourself. So no need to elaborate too much more on it. But it's a big pet peeve of mines so it tops this list. Just know that if you forward me a text 9/10 you won't get it back. LoL.

Response Time

Is there a protocol as for how soon one should respond to a text message? Now I normally don't read rules and instructions. I usually just take things out of the box and figure out how they work on my own. So is there something is the manual for the phone that states one must respond to a text message in a certain amount of time? I'm sure we've all gotten that text from whoever stating or asking something. Well perhaps you were busy at the time, sleeping or just didn't want to respond right away. But the next thing you know you're getting a call with someone asking "why didn't you reply back to my text?" Now let's not confuse this person with a serial dialer as my brother mentioned in an earlier blog. To be honest I've done this one myself. Then after I call I tend to ask myself if it was this important shouldn't I have just called in the first place? LoL.

Accidental Texts

I was recently got a text from my son's mother and she was telling me how excited my son was to wear the costume I bought him for Halloween. So, I replied back and then I got another text from her that said "I love you too and have a wonderful day." Well it was obvious that this was clearly not for me. However, once you press send on that text message it's over. As much as you hope and wish you could get it back it's definitely too late. But lucky for her I knew that it was sent to the wrong person. A different kind of ex may have taken that text the wrong way. I've made the mistake of texting the wrong person as well. My mom and brother have similar names; in fact, there is only 1 letter different in their names. Not to mention their phone numbers have the same first 5 numbers. So there have been many of times I've accidently text my mom instead of my brother. Although my mom is really cool, I'm glad those accidental texts [meant for my brother] weren't anything too vulgar like they can be at times. LoL.

Text Assumptions

Have you ever gotten this text? "I'll just hit you later you seem busy." If I'm texting you back and we're texting back and forth how can I seem busy? Now if this other person is your spouse or better half that can just sense things about you I can understand such a response. But to just make such an assumption based on reading a text message is to me without merit. The same goes with this one. "You seem upset or mad." How? Did the words come across your phone screen differently than I texted? The problem with reading words is that the reader gets to intepret (whether out loud or in their head) how the words are spoken. No different than when you're reading a book or even this blog. You [the reader] get to choose the tone of what you're reading. The same goes for a text message. And often the reader can make an assumption which can be so off the mark. And you know what they say about when you assume.

Text Arguments

I know that everyone reading has probably had an argument by text. I personally hate arguing at all, let alone via text. Now it could start from something like mentioned above where a wrong assumption is made based on a text message. The next thing you know someone is typing in all CAPITAL LETTERS. And you know what that means, yep they're now yelling at you. And dont forget the exclamation marks!!!!!!! That's showing them you really mean business. Oh wait what about the little mean smiley faces >:-O Is that the yelling one? Well my problem with text arguing is that when I do it I think to myself what am I doing and why don't I just pick up the phone and say what I need to say? But unfortunately once you've started a text argument it's like a 12 round boxing match and you just don't want to throw in the towel. However, there can be an advantage to arguments by text. For instance, you can think more about what you want to say and strategically choose your words. Whether they be the perfect upper cut, a little jab here and there, or even dancing around the ring like Ali trying to avoid further confrontation. Where as in a face to face or even phone argument at times you speak the first thing that comes to mind which usually adds fuel to the fire of an argument. But don't take too long to respond. As stated with response time either the person you're arguing with will think you're ignoring them or even that they won the argument. You may get a text stating "Nothing to say huh? Thought so!!"

Drunk Texting

Now this is definitely one of those times where you probably wish your phone wasn't so technologically advanced and that had an old school brick cell phone. Drinking and texting is definitely not as dangerous as drinking and driving but the results can also be tragic in nature. Have you ever had a little bit too much to drink then sent a text that said something you shouldn't have said to someone you know damn well you shouldn't have even been texting? Well usually when it happens just like most things you do while intoxicated you don't realize what has taken place until the next morning. As soon as you start to reading those texts from that individual the you scratch your head wondering what they're talking about. That is until you open the sent folder and see exactly what you were texting. In response to your discovery you'll usually let out an "Oh S**t!!" and then try to figure out how you'll clean this one up.

Recently Google unveiled "Mail Goggles" which actually helps to prevent drunk e-mailing. When activated Google will require the e-mailer to solve a series of math questions in order to determine that they're in the right mind state to send that e-mail. Once you complete the questions the e-mail will be sent. However, if you can not solve the simple to complex math questions (as previously determined by the user) the e-mail will not be sent. Hopefully for all of us drunk texters out there they'll eventually install a technology such as this in cell phones.

Text Abbreviations

Now luckily I've been able to keep up with some of the younger generation and their text talk as I like to call it. But sometimes even I'm stumped. I mean I can recognize the basics such as LOL (Laugh Out Loud), TTYL (Talk to you later), LMAO (Laughing My ass off), LMAFO (Laughing my f**king ass off), IDK (I don't know), BF (Boyfriend), GF (Girlfriend), BFF (Best friend forever), OMG (Oh My God), BRB (Be Right Back), JK (Just Kidding), BTW (By the Way), Etc. But then again there are some abbreviations that I would never be able to figure out. For instance, FIIK (F**K If I know), I would have never gotten that one. Or FEITCTAJ (F**k 'em if they can't take a joke), which I should know since my grandfather always says this. Also, GTFO (Get The F**k Out) and SWL (Screaming With Laughter). Basically the list goes on. Whatever happen to regular English? Now you have to be able to speak text talk. If you want to brush up on your text talk skills there's a whole list of abbreviations you can check out here. I just wouldn't try to impress your friends with any of those abbreviations unless they've also studied this list. Or you'll probably get a text response back like "WTF" (What the F**k?)

Well regardless of what I like and don't like about texting I won't lie and say I would want to give it up as a feature on my cell phone. Like I said there are much more benefits than there are negative things associated with the text message. In fact, I just ordered the new G-1 (to the left) phone from T-Mobile last week. It should arrive in another week or so. So basically you know that the text messages won't be stopping anytime soon.

So as Lil' Wayne said "Unless ya Feel a lil desperate send a nigga a text message."

--C-Recks--