Just a Friend??

"Oh baby you, you got what I need...but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend"



We all laugh when remembering the above video for Biz Markie's song just a friend with him sporting a Mozart wig and singing off key. Although in his 1989 song he chose to approach the subject in a comical sense, what the knowledge that Biz was dropping back then is still relevant over 20 years later. In fact, I would venture to say that the "just a friend" problem continues to be a crucial problem or burden in today's relationship world.

I'm sure most of us have been here before in one way or the other. Whether you're in a relationship and have a "platonic" friendship with a member of the opposite sex or if you're single and have a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex. Regardless of which situation you fall into either way somehow Biz's words will hit home.

Another comedic take on the situation came from comedian Chris Rock. His stance was "women have platonic friends, while guys have women that we just haven't f**ked yet." His words not mine. Check the video below (Sorry for the low quality).




Regardless of which side of the fence you're on this is one subject that we can never get away from when it comes to men, women, friendship and relationships. I've definitely been in this situation before and had to deal with it from both sides of the issue. However, I won't go into that too much on this blog. But if you'd like to hear more of my view point and stance on the issue I cordially invite you to continue the conversation via @TheJadedNyer's Blog Talk Radio Show airing tonight at 9pm CST, 10pm EST. Click the link below to check it out.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thejadednyer/2010/03/16/mars-vs-venus-can-men-women-just-be-friends

I've been invited to be a guest host and speak on this very subject. We'll delve deep into it and address topics such as: If you're both single can you really just be friends, what is considered 'just a friend' anyway and is there ALWAYS sexual tension involved? So it should definitely be a good convo. Unfortunately, I'll be dolo as my blog brother will be at work and unable to lend his viewpoint. But I'll do my best to hold it down. Please tune in, call in and give your perspective, visit the chat room, and follow along via twitter @crecks.


--C-Recks--

Testimony Tuesday

So for those of you that have yet to listen to us on The Jaded Nyer's blog radio show from last week, you have to take a listen to it. It was a very good show and it invoked a very good discussion amongst men and women. Here is the link for the show "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?". However, there was a particular part of the show where we were all discussing our pet peeves. Everyone was describing what their partner does or did that irks/irked the hell out of you in a relationship.

Well a few days after the show aired an anonymous reader/listener left a comment on our blog post. They wanted to weigh in on the whole pet peeve situation and chose to reveal theirs to us and hopefully get our opinion on their comment. We rarely receive anonymous comments so this was sort of out of the blue to us. However, since the person chose to be anonymous we decided to go ahead and reply to her in a blog. So then that spawned a whole new blog segment we will be calling "Testimony Tuesday."

So, if you have an anonymous Testimony or confession on any subject and want our opinions or that of our readers, please feel free to post an anonymous comment on our blog. It doesn't even have to be about you, it can even be a situation that someone you know is in and perhaps you just need a different perspective. Whatever the case go ahead and leave a comment or even send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com and we'll make it a part of this new blog segment. All comments and emails will remain anonymous. Just keep in mind we may make light of the situation (because that's just what we do don't take offense), but in the end we'll try to give you some real, honest, and hopefully helpful advice.

So without further ado here is our first "Testimony Tuesday"...
_______________________________________

Dear brothers

I've been reading & following your blog anonymously 4 a while now & I've never left a comment until now. After checking out u guys on the blog talk radio show the other night I wanted to make a comment & hopefully get your honest opinions on something. First off it was a good show & much like your blog u kept it real. So keep up the good work but right now I'm hoping you'll keep it real wit me too.

On the show when u were talking about pet peeves and what annoys u about your man/woman on the show I wanted 2 call in then but couldnt because my man was with me. I've been with my man 4 bout 2 1/2 years & we've been living together 4 the last 6months. While all is extremely well with our living together situation there is 1 thing he does that drives me nuts!!!! Now 2 some it may be petty but 2 me its become major.

My man is a bigger guy & he likes 2eat but I have no problems at all with his size itis perfectly fine wit me. But what I do have a problem with is 1 place he likes 2 eat & that's in the bed! And I don't mean in a sexual way! He literally will eat full meals snacks & deserts in the bed. I tried 2 deal with it but it got 2 a point I had 2 say something. Well that conversation didnt go over 2 well & it turned into a huge argument. The bottom line is that even after saying something he still continues 2 do it!

I love this man & feel he's the one 4 me but this is an extremely frustrating & aggravating habit of his & I dont know what 2 do 2 get him 2 quit it.

Please give me your honest opinion & please keep it 100% real as I'm at my witts end with this situation.

Thanks in advance.

--Anonymous--
_____________________________________
Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Well its needless to say she loves her man like a fat kid loves cake, but it seems he's definitely trying to have his cake and eat it in bed too. Lol.

**After a 1 hour pause**

CR: You get my response man?


Driza Dre: Damn man, my bad, must've had a weed flashback

DD: So my man is leaving crumbs in the bed... Well I say be happy its only cookie crumbs. Lol

CR: Lol. Clearly there are much worse problems in relationships. And although "he eats in bed and u not talking sexually" he's obviously handling his biz in that regard or she would've put him on blast even more! But my first instinct is to move the bed into the kitchen or dining room 1 day while he's gone and move the dining room table to the bedroom! Lol

CR: Or better yet start rationing out the P. That'll always make a nigga straighten up. And by P I don't mean Pudding or Peach Cobbler unless those are some of your freaky little nicknames for the P. LoL. But for real every time he eats in bed put the P on lock. Or if you're bold put a cake in the bed next to you in some sexy lingerie. Then tell him like that T.I. song and say he can have whichever he likes. Just be prepared that him and Betty Crocker may be creeping on the low and he may not choose you. Lol

DD: While he and Betty might go back a lot further, ain't no real negro gone pass up the P for the sake of eating in the bed. While this issue may seem petty to him he's still gonna be smart enough to know that he can have his snacks elsewhere, and keep the bed for his ''goodies''

CR: Aight well in all seriousness I would say she definitely needs to talk to him about it again. I'm not sure in what manner she may have approached him the first time, but if he blew up over it then it somehow must've struck a nerve. Maybe he thought she was talking about or complaining of his weight. But clearly that's not an issue, as she expressed in her comment. So maybe she needs to reassure him of that and just let him know she just prefers to keep the bed free of food.

DD: Or at minimum, just stress that she'd at least like him to clean up after himself. I figure that though he still might not appreciate her coming at him, he may oblige her by trying to be neater

CR: I'm just thinking there's gotta be a compromise here. But if not, it may be risky but put some bugs in the bed. If he sees that maybe he'll know eating in the bed is off limits. No one wants to eat with bugs nor sleep with them.

DD: That's REAL extreme. If you gotta go that far, it may be time to get rid of him

CR: Yeah its extreme but she obviously loves the man but he may just be a little extra persuasion. That is if talking to him and compromising doesn't work. But I can't see him being absolutely unreceptive if she approaches him in a kind and truly concerned manner. Unless there is really a deeper issue that is not on the surface.

DD: So you look at it like Bernie Mac: "they gotta learn, they gotta learn!"

CR: Lol. Well if this was who wants to be a millionaire my final answer would be this: Try talking to him again and see why he got upset the last time the subject came up. Maybe its something deeper and he maybe felt you were attacking his weight. And from there just reassure him by letting him know the only issue is the eating in the bed not his weight. If that doesn't work then maybe extreme is the answer. If nothing else extreme will get his attention at how serious the issue is to you. If you 2 have been together as long as you have and love each other as much as you say then I have no doubts that you will get past this. I predict he will compromise and the only eating in the bed won't leave any crumbs behind, at least we hope. Lol

DD: As my brother discussed on the radio show, you have to pick your battles. Assess if the crumbs in bed is really that major. If it is, then you may need to take drastic measures to bring him around to your way of thinking. If its not that major, then approach the subject in a manner that's more of a suggestion than a Relationship death nail. And just maybe in the end, you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too. Lol
____________________________________

Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any tips or helpful advice to Anonymous please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post.

--DrizaDre--

--C-Recks--

Talk To Me!

That's right ya'll despite having limited content on our blog now a days (We promise we'll do better), we are making some major moves. The brothers have been personally invited by fellow blogger The Jaded NYer's to guest host her Blog Talk Radio show.

The topic at hand is "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?" This should make for a very interesting topic if conversation. Myself I've recently entered into a newer relationship, but as you all know I've been married before so I have a whole lot to share. And my brother well he brings over 15 years of an on again off again relationship experience to the table. No offense bro. LoL. The female guest host that will be trading jabs with us will be none other than fellow blogger The F$%k-It List. I will warn you that we've been studying last year's Mars Vs. Venus radio show like it was the game tape for the big game so we'll be prepared. LoL.

But over all on some real The Jaded Nyer is very cool and down to earth and her blog and blog radio show are both very good. I've read and I've listened before and I don't endorse anything that I don't like unless I'm getting paid and I'm not so you can trust me on this. lol. But I invite all those that enjoy our blog and our view/perspective on love, life and relationships to tune in to the show tonight. The show begins at 10pm EST sharp. Feel free to click the link above naming the show or the link at the end of this post to go directly to the show. Or you can go to thejadednyer.net 's page and be linked to the show from there. If you are a twitter friend of mines I'll be twittering the link as well. If you aren't a follower of mines you can follow me here @crecks. But if you listen to the show you can either call in and make your comments or you can make comments via the chat room on the site.

So again where will everyone be tonight at 10pm EST? Hopefully clicking the link below and listening in to the Jaded Nyer's Blog Talk Radio show tonight. And I've made consideration on starting us a blog talk radio show so if we get good feedback we may be coming to a blog talk radio show near you. LoL.

"Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?"

P.S. Make sure you call in because I just heard there is even going to be give-a-way contest for the caller with the WORST & BEST BF/GF story; there will be 2 winners announced at 10:55worst.

The call in # is (718) 766-4011 I know damn well ya'll got some stories so make sure that you call in and tune in tonight.

If you missed the live version of the show shame on you! But you can still click on the link and listen to the show in its entirety. Leave your feedback and let us know what you think.

--C-Recks--
--Driza Dre--

Letter to Britt

What you're about to read is something I wrote probably 4-5 months ago. Unfortunately, one of my cousins was convicted of a crime and went to jail. Well upon hearing he was actually going in I knew that it was going to be hard on the family. The night before he had to turn himself in (the end of last year) me, my bro, my girl (best friend then), and my cuzz all kicked it out. Well needless to say I ended up way gone off alcohol that night as did he. I remember waking up to a call from him. After saying hello he simply stated "Yous an Asshole you know that." LoL. Apparently I was the cause of him getting fucked up. LoL. Oh what a memory.

Unfortunately my communication with my cuzz has been damn near nothing since that morning. I somehow expected that it would slim though. I know you're probably thinking you can always write him. Well unfortunately, I knew that me being able to sit and write him would be a difficult thing to do. As many blogs, poems, and songs as I write you'd think sitting and penning a few paragraphs to my cuzz would be easy.

Well I will admit that it has been even harder than I expected. I definitely felt bad about it, yet still couldn't get through enough lines to write a letter. However, I knew he was doing okay as he called and checked in with him mom and even my brother fairly often. Well a few weeks ago I got a call from a blocked phone #. Normally I would disregard such a call, but I was expecting an important call so I answered. I was too shocked when I heard it was my cuzz calling me from jail.

When I heard the voice on the other end he sounded his normal silly, jovial, and positive self. Of course I apologized for not writing. But he definitely understood. He actually stated that his mom had been printing out our blogs here and sending them to him. That made me happy that even though I hadn't written, he was still in touch with some of what had been going on via our blog. Well after that conversation I decided to dig out what you're about to read below. Although I hadn't written him a letter I used my other talent and wrote him a song. My intentions when I wrote it some months back were to do a youtube video and actually perform this song. I never got around to doing that.

But for your reading pleasure you can envision me reciting these words below. I wrote it using the "Letter to B.I.G." beat that Jadakiss used. I know everyone was doing their own version of this song back then, so this was my version. The video is below. I would have preferred to have just the instrumental playing while you read but I was unable to find it.

So without further ado, here it is ya'll my "Letter to Britt."



Its been a few months you're probably wondering why I haven't wrote yet/ the truth is/ its no excuse/ I just can't focus/ to think of you being locked down just messes with my mental/ so I scribble/ a couple lines and just put down my pencil/ to explain how much I miss you/ was just hard to do/ easiest way was to sit and write these bars for you/ you behind bars its true/ but I still reminisce about/ the night before you turned yourself in and how we kicked it out/ I drank away the pain I didn't wanna see you go/ my younger cuzz man I used to watch and see you grow/ now you all grown up doing things like a man do/ got caught up in some shit life don't go the way we planned to/ too...just gotta handle what they hand you/ you know the court system they just tryna make examples/ outta young black youth/ the truth is hard to swallow/ too many dead or in jail no one is promised tomorrow/ my motto/ to keep it movin despite circumstances/ we all make mistakes but deserve second chances/ so when we get out/ just take a different route/ so much going on in the world I hate you missing out/ your baby girl getting bigger with every day that pass/ I know you gotta make that cash/ but I pray that's past/ future's yet to be determined they say life's what you make it/ anxious/ for your release but just gotta stay patient/ mean while just keep your head high/ aimed to the sky/ I wipe away your moms tears but I'm too gangsta to cry/ while you facing your time/ try to focus on God/ think of life as a poker game no folding the cards/ knowing its hard/ and I still can't believe myself/ you get out I got your back if you need my help/ this letter is heart felt/ I hope it reach you well/ I pray your time flies by and you find peace in jail/ when you read this mail/ know that when you get home/ celebration on/ got them bottles of patron/ ain't been long/ but it feels like forever to me/ and if you been through this storm then try to weather with me/ whether it be/ just a few months/ or a life sentence/ we all just tryna see through the dark like night vision/ in an instant/ dark nights change to bright days/ when christ came/ we all noticed how your life changed/ its quite strange/ I'm sure it made you a better man/ cuz what you going through man/ I know that I never can/ as the sands of time pass through the hour glass/ know the future ain't always defined by our past!!!

Love You cuzz, can't wait to see you come November!

Reserve the Right

Well we all know that Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Now if you don't then you obviously don't watch TV, listen to the radio, or use the Internet frequently. Because the advertisers sure aren't allowing you to forget even if you wanted to. So basically if you aren't aware then you do not exist. If I had a dollar for every KY or Lovers Lane commercial that I've heard or seen this month I could afford to make it rain at the strip club for more consecutive nights than it rains in Seattle, WA. But I digress. LoL.

Speaking of Valentine's Day and marketing I'm sure this is one most of you have heard of already. However, I first heard of it a couple of years ago. My best friend sent me a picture message with the caption "Only in Chicago." Well I was at first shocked by the picture I saw and thought it was a joke. So I had to do further research to confirm that it couldn't just be a Chicago thing. Upon further investigating online it seems as if this was a yearly tradition that spanned far beyond Chicago. What is it that I'm referring to you ask? Well take a look at the picture below.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. Every year (at least recent ones) the hamburger chain White Castle goes high class for Valentine's Day. From 5-9 pm you and your date can enjoy the famous sliders in a romantic setting. Yes that means they cover the tables in plastic table cloths, put a flower on the table and even light a candle. They even provide servers for the evening. But here's the kicker you must make a reservation to enjoy amenities such as these.

WTF??

Alright seriously I like to save a buck just like the next American struggling in these economic times. However, I just need to know what man in their right mind is actually bold enough to make this move? I mean on some real I respect they gangsta to even have the balls to tell their woman "I made reservations at our favorite restaurant," and then pull into White Castle. Talk about being in the Dog House, they may as well serve up divorce papers along with this meal. "Would you like to see the dessert menu, and the number of a good divorce attorney?"

Now in the past I've had some women tell me that I don't seem like the romantic type. Ironically, I'm probably the total opposite of what they thought. I guess I was just never given the opportunity to show it. Either that or never wanted to show them that side for whatever reason. However, my sometimes unappreciative ex could attest to the fact that I am definitely romantic. But in recent years (the last 5...yes sad I know. Don't judge me. LoL) I have been single. Therefore, my Valentine's Day routine has been to take my mom out for dinner. But even if all I had was $1 to may name I wouldn't even take moms to White Castle on Valentine's Day. Come on now.

In their defense, from what I read many of the couples that frequent their local White Castle on Valentine's Day may have originally met at the restaurant. As cute as that may be let's be realistic. Plenty of couples meet in many strange or obscure places. However, some of those places don't need to be revisited on a regular or even yearly basis. Here are a couple of extreme examples. Let's just say a couple happens to meet at a friend's funeral. Does that mean every year they should visit the cemetery and have a picnic on the friends grave site? That's creepy as hell. Or how about this I recently saw a couple on Divorce Court and they met in a strip club. She was a dancer and he was a bouncer. Although they were divorcing, what if they had stayed married? So you mean to tell me when they're 70 years old and gray they should be visiting the strip club as part of a yearly tradition? If I see someone's grandma on the pole on amateur Wednesdays I'm going to jail for disorderly conduct that night. Lmao.

In closing, if any of you guys are last minute and haven't made reservations anywhere, please do yourself a favor and cook dinner or order in. Do not under any circumstances call your local White Castle for reservations. But regardless of what you have planned I hope that everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day. Even if you are single and have no Valentine just do something to show love to yourself. It's just another day you'll survive. Hell I have for 5 years strong. LoL. However, I am happy to report that this year I am actually going on a real date for Valentine's Day. I've made reservations at a downtown restaurant with a nice romantic setting. Maybe I will give details at a later time. But I don't plan on breaking tradition, I will still take my mom out maybe for breakfast or lunch though.

--C-Recks--

Child Abuse

By the title of this post you're probably automatically thinking that I'm referring to some sort of physical or verbal child abuse. First off I must say that I am in no way making a joke or mockery of child abuse. However, as horrible as those types of child abuse are, I think there is a child abuse that is over looked. Whenever, I see this behavior exhibited I want to immediately get on the horn and call DCFS. There are certain parents that suffer from what I'm going to refer to as: IknowyougotnotalentbutIdon'twannahurtyourfeelings. I would form that into an acronym but it would probably look like something my son typed. (IKYGNTBIDWHYF) LoL. For an example please check out the video below.



We've all seen it, season after heart wrenching season on the show American Idol. the new season just began earlier this month. I like some of you, used to look forward to this show just to see the opening weeks auditions. I just wanted to get a quick laugh at the talentless individuals that make fools of themselves. Well probably 3 or 4 seasons ago I could not take any more. I just had to ask myself where are these kids parents at? Although it's funny to watch, it's really more sad than anything. It began to feel like I was watching a child get beat over and over. I mean I've seen a kid or 20 get spanked before in my lifetime. Initially it's pretty funny (don't judge me for laughing), but to see them get spanked over and over and over eventually saddens me.

Whenever I watch the show auditions I'm always left wondering who let them go on this show? I mean who heard them sing and actually encouraged them to go audition? Well if it was friends I don't fault them. Maybe they just wanted a good laugh or something to blog about. However, when I see the parents consoling their crying kid after Simon rips them a new one, I just have to Shake My Head. Then it amazes me that the parents have the nerve to get upset and say that "the judges are wrong and can't recognize talent if it bit them in the ass."

Well I have a message to those parents. Yes we all love our kids and we want them to think they are the best and encourage them to be the best at any and everything they do. However, as parents we must be realistic. At a certain age (I would say by the teenage years) this has to stop. By this age you and your child(ren) should be able to understand that there are some things they're great at, some they're just average at, and some thins they just suck at. Therefore, when you hear them sing and you can barely stand it, what makes you think others will enjoy it?

Unfortunately, I don't know what all of my son's talents hidden talents will be 10 years from now. His grand dad taught him to play drums. So, I know at 5 he can already play a mean set of drums already. And when I say play I mean like really play not just banging them to make noise. I was amazed when I first saw him doing this. As a producer, I can play the hell out of a drum machine and make a tight beat (See Left). However, I'm not coordinated enough to play a set of drums. Lol. Also, I wish I could put it on here, but I got pics and video of him lip [rapping] syncing to a song and holding this microphone. Sorry, but I got a rule about not posting pics or videos of my son anywhere online. But trust me It's too hilarious. I've never taught him any of this showmanship, but I can see he's a natural performer.

In the end I think it boils down to if you love your kids you have to love them enough to be honest with them. Yes it may be hard for me to sit my son down and tell him that he's not that talented in a certain thing. However, I would rather him hear it from me someone that loves him, than someone that loves them. It's far better than letting him go on TV in front of millions of people to only embarrass his damn self. I would be more than glad to help him develop whatever the talent he lacks skills in. But to fill his heads with lies knowing he is no good to me would be child abuse.

Speaking of abuse. No offense but even Joe Jackson's non parenting ass had sense to beat his kids until their talents were flawless. LoL. Now that is truly not funny and of course extreme. But I tend to just think of it in terms of your child liking or being in love with a girl or guy that you clearly see just isn't into them. They obviously don't see it, but are you going to sit back and let their heart constantly be broken over and over as they get rejected by that person? Or are you going to Man Up and just say hey son or daughter they're not into you like you are them. But don't worry you're wonderful regardless and there are others [talents] that will appreciate you the way that you should be? But then again perhaps it's just me and my keep it real mind state.

Well to all you American Idol fans have fun watching the new season I'm sure there will be plenty laughs to be had at more talentless kid's expenses. But don't feel bad when you're on the floor breaking your back to laugh. Because behind it there is a parent to blame. So to those parents I must say Shame On You!

--C-Recks--

Any Given Son Day

November 28, 2008

Dear Son,

It was almost 5 Years ago to the day when your mom and I realized you were indeed on your way. It was November 29th 2003. It was around 1am in the morning. I was up late as always, but I can't recall what I was doing. I believe your mom was sleeping. However, something awoke her. I'm sure it had something to do with you moving around. She said she had to use the bathroom. So I helped her up and as she stood up she said I think I peed on myself. Well she then went to the bathroom to clean up. But she came out and said I don't think this is pee. After making a call to your grandmother and to the doctor she was able to determine that a portion of her water had broken.

So we packed up and drove to the hospital. Your mom did all the hard work I just tried to be supportive and not get on her nerves. But almost 22 hours later at about 10:50pm that night you were born. I remember when your head popped out, the doctor pulled you out, and your eyes were wide open and you looked right at me. In between tears I smiled, as the doctor wrapped you up and handed you to your mom. She quickly called me over to hold you as well.

It was hard to imagine that I had spent almost 9 months talking to you through a barrier of stomach that grew by the day. You used to kick whenever I talked to you. But then and there I was holding and talking to you in the flesh. I had overwhelming feelings of joy, happiness, nervousness and even fear. Yes me the self proclaimed fearless man was scared at that moment. The thought that your life was essentially in my hands had me scared to death. The thoughts of what kind of father I would be to you, and would I be able to do this job forever had me fearful. But I vowed to you even less than hours old that I would do any and everything to take care of you and be there for you.

Well it didn't take too long for me to get the hang of the parenting thing. However, there was trouble on the home front. I can and will explain to you the entire story as you get older and are curious as to what happen. But a long story short your mom and I ended up splitting up and eventually divorcing. I had to make some of the hardest decisions of my life during those rough times, but in the end I feel like I made the best decision when considering you. It was difficult to make such decisions and not want to be selfish. However, I had to take a look at a much bigger picture which went beyond just myself.

You may hear different variations of the story when you get older, but I have no problem being open and honest when you're able to handle it. You weren't old enough to remember your mom and I ever being together. Which in part I find a good thing most times. The way your life is now is how you have always known it to be. So you don't remember some of the back and forth and changes that took place back then. Regardless of what has taken place, just know it had nothing at all to do with you. And in many ways what took place forced me to be the man I needed to be. The man I needed to be for myself and for you.

When I think of you being five years old it is still hard to imagine. Time flies is all that I can say. I mean I can truly recall it all like it was yesterday. From your first words (which were da da don't let anyone tell you different), to your first steps, your first fall (I dropped you), and recently your first dentist trip (I took you, poor thing you shook like a leaf you were so scared). I've made sure that I have been there every step of the way. Not only financially, but also physically and emotionally there as an active father in your life. Besides a hand full of weekends out of town and when for whatever reason your mom had something else planned, I don't/didn't miss a weekend spending quality time with you. The same goes for calling and talking to you on a nightly basis.

Over these five years I've watched us begin a bond as father and son that is undeniable. I wouldn't give it up for anything or anyone in the world. It reminds me of how I was with my father when I was a kid. Unfortunately, that relationship slowly whithered away over the years due to some circumstances that I will reveal to you later as well. But I vow to you that I won't let anything get in between us remaining close and me being a constant in your life. In the next 5-10 years I'm sure you'll be experiencing many more firsts. Including, your first day of school (real school), first crush (Kim Possible doesn't count), first heart break (sad to say but it's going to come), first fight, etc. Just know that you will have me there for you and there to help guide you through each of those events and more.

I love you so much and I am so very proud of you. And even prouder to call myself your Dad. I wish you the happiest 5th birthday ever and so many more to come.

Love,

Your Dad.


--C-Recks--

It's A One-derful Life

Chorus:

"I been looking for the One but she's so hard to find, so I guess I gotta grind, until the stars align, Don't mind, waiting if it's gone take some time, but I wish someone would just show me a sign..."

Verse 1:

"I searched the ends of the earth and still haven't found, someone to hold me down, and wear my crown, I need a queen is that too much to ask? Someone with class, that's gone erase my past? Cuz I done been through (been through) heartache and pain, and I'm getting too old to be trying to play games, and I done changed (changed), my ways a lot, but my heart kinda empty there's a vacant spot, I'm just looking for the one to fill, and come for real, if I'm broke with bills, or holding a mil, still, she gone be there, it's only fair, and I won't even lie it's getting lonely here, I need love like L, sometimes it might fail, and you gone get used like drugs that hypes sell, it's like hell, so I gotta see heaven quick, the rest irrelevant, I want someone that's heaven sent. I want the one..."

C-Recks - "The One"

The above song lyrics come from a song I wrote and produced entitled "The One" which appears on my upcoming album Ripped from the Headlines (Shameless plug I know). Well I have had this conversation with people in the past. But I still question, is there really a such thing as The One? I mean is there really that one soul mate that God created for each and every one of us somewhere out there in the world? Are they searching just like you and waiting for that opportunity for your paths to cross?

These are questions I often ask myself. If you've read anything on this blog that I've written in the past then you know that I often reference the fact I used to be married. Marrying and then divorcing will often cause one to lose their faith in the love and marriage area. So I often question the existence of "The One." Although I'm very content with my current situation, it doesn't mean that I don't have the same human characteristics as anyone else. You know what I mean. The wanting to be loved, and wanting to give your unconditional love to another.

Now I say that; however, I'm not the type that will just settle for any old relationship. Nor am I the type that yearns to be loved so much that I will accept the first or next person the comes along trying to give me their love. Truth be told if I just wanted any old relationship I could have had that by now. But maybe I'm too specific in what I want. Some may call it high standards I just say I'm waiting on "The One."

I mean there's someone for everyone right? At least that's what the advertisements for the Internet dating sites want us to believe. LoL. I recently saw an on-line article stating that world's heaviest man (700 lbs) just got married. Now I'm in no way trying to talk about him or hate on him. But if this man can find someone to love all 700 pounds of him, then there's got to be someone for my buck and some change frame. LoL. If nothing else, I think this guy getting married illustrates one of the greatest things about real love. It shows the fact that it's truly unconditional. When I love again I want someone that will accept me as I am. Flaws and all. Not someone that says "well I really like this about you, but you can stand to change this or that." As the saying goes if you can't accept me at my worst you don't deserve my best." Well who knows when that time will come when my One comes along. But I found some words I wanted to express to her now. Please continue to read on while Ruben Studdard helps co-sign on the previous point.

Ruben Studdard - "Change me"

Dear "The One, "

Where ever you are and who ever you are there are some things I want to say to you in advance. I have so much love to give to you that it's not even funny. And believe me when the time comes I will love you unconditionally as you are. I won't try to change the person that you are. All I ask is that you do me the same. Below I've listed some of the things that make me, well me. They are in no particular order of course.

1. Please accept the fact that I am slim in stature and no matter how much I eat I have never and probably will never be able to gain any significant weight. I've always been this way. Call it high metabolism, good genes, or whatever you want. But please feel free to cook all you want to try and fatten me up as I love to eat.

2. Accept that I drink. Nothing excessive of course. But I mainly drink beer. After a long hard day of work there is nothing better to come home to than you, a great meal and a nice cold beer (or 2 or 4). LoL. But I promise I would never let beer or alcohol affect me or us in any way. Hell I don't even have a beer belly (review #1).

3. I have a son and he is truly my world. We are a package deal. Therefore, if you accept me then you must in turn accept him. He is a lot like me so you should have no problem getting along with and eventually loving him too. But I warn you he gets attached to people fast. So if you don't get to meet him right away just know that's the parental instinct in me. Also, he's a little flirt too, so don't be surprised if he has a bigger crush on you than me. And don't worry me and his mom have absolutely no drama going on. So rest assured that you'll never be put in a drama type situation when it comes to my son.

4. I have a passion for music. I have been into music since a young boy. I really got deep into it when I started to write and perform. I would love to eventually turn my passion into a career. But at the same time I'm rational and know that the odds of that happening are slim to none. So, I still work my regular 9-5. However, being that this is my passion I will always be doing it regardless of whether a career ever begins. So accept that some nights I may be in the studio doing what you may even consider nothing or even a waste of time. But please don't ever say that. I'm just doing what I love. Don't worry I promise that I will never let it take away from the time we spend together. Besides I'm a little talented I even wrote and produced the song above [The One] about you before I even met you.

5. I tend to be like most men and hide and don't show my emotions too much. Well just know that the only reason for that is because I was probably the opposite a long time ago and was criticized by the person I was with for it. So now I'm this way. I know it may seem as if certain things don't move me emotionally, but know that is probably not the case. I have a heart and once I've allowed you in it I can't control certain emotions and feelings. Therefore, if you hurt I hurt, if you cry I cry even if it's not seen outwardly.

6. I am a man of few words the majority of the time. I know I write these blogs and can say and express so much. But on average I don't say too much. You may tell me about your day and have a million and one things to say about what took place. However, if you ask me how my day was, 9 times out of 10 I'm going to respond in one of a few different ways. "It was OK, aight, cool, or deeso." This doesn't mean that I don't want to let you know how my day was or that I'm hiding something. However, if it's not interesting to me I usually won't speak on it. My daily mundane activities at work don't thrill me and I wouldn't expect them to thrill you or anyone else. Every now and then I have something happen that's interesting, but those days are few and far between. However, I will listen intently to every detail of your day and respond accordingly.

7. I'm hard to read. You may never be able to tell what it is that I'm thinking at a particular time. However, please don't try to speculate or assume. If you want to know all you have to do is ask and I will share. Not much upsets me or gets to me, but I can't stand assumptions especially incorrect ones. I hate arguments and fights and avoid them at all costs, even if I have to apologize knowing I did nothing wrong. Most times I probably have something similar to the patience of Job. But making an incorrect assumption will for sure upset me, possibly prompt an argument and test my patience for sure.

8. I'm not ballin and I may never be. If this music thing never makes it to the majors or mainstream, I may be stuck working a typical 9-5 until retirement. I will always work my ass off for the man just to keep what we have stable and try to get more. I may not make 6 figures; however, I will always be striving to make more to provide for us. Even if that takes me going back to school (which I plan to do hopefully next year), starting my own business, or even working 2 and 3 jobs.

9. I know that after we make hot passionate love for an hour or more that you want me to cuddle with and hold you. However, that's rarely going to happen. I may start off that way but most likely I'll end up on my side with about a foot of space between you and I. Please don't think that I don't like holding you or that the sex we just had wasn't worthy of you being held afterward. Neither is the case. I just have a particular way of sleeping. I get hot in my sleep and my instinct is to move away from the heat source. I may move from you, then remove my blankets all in the middle of my sleep. But then I'll probably get cold, so don't be surprised if you find me snuggled up next to you again at some point in the middle of the night. Just know it still won't last long. LoL.

10. I like to dress a certain way. My clothes do not make me who I am. I am who I am regardless of how I dress. I'm not saying that I walk around in bummy clothes or anything. It's quite the opposite. However, my love of hip hop and music pretty much dictates my wardrobe. I know that I am close to 30 and some may say "you should dress your age." But I say I'm doing me. So if that means wearing a hoodie, a fitted hat, and some Air Force Ones, then that's how you'll find me most of the time. It doesn't mean that I'm a thug or hood, because I'm far from it. It's just how I dress. Now that doesn't mean that I don't know how to switch it up given the occasion. I have plenty of casual clothing that I can wear when I take you out on a date. Also, I have suits I can wear when we're going to so and so's wedding, graduation, etc. But please accept this and don't try to force me to wear what you want me to wear.

P.S. There are plenty more things about me, but I will end it with these 10. Just keep in mind that curse (kind of a lot), I look young (not at all like I'm about to be 30 soon), I may or may not want any more kids (I'm on the fence about this one), my credit is bad (divorce hurts more than your heart), I don't attend church (at this time at least), I'm not that handy, Etc.

If you can accept these things about me and not try to change me, then you will have a man that will love and do almost any and everything to make you happy. A man that will love, honor, respect, and cherish your very being. Because just by accepting me for me you will be making me happy. So I would want to return that type of love to you at almost any cost. And we will truly have a wonderful life.

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Cory.

Now that I look at it all written out like that I guess those are a lot of things to accept. Perhaps that's why there can only be 1, One. Many are called but One is chosen as they say. Depending on the response to this I may post the second verse of the song which goes into a little more depth and reply to it as I did here. We'll see.

--C-Recks--

Diamonds Are Forever??

I was listening to the radio last week and a caller called in saying how much she adores her boyfriend, how great of a guy he is, and how much she was in love with him, etc. Well she went on to say how they're now talking about getting engaged. She then explained that the rings he was looking at just weren't flashy enough. And how she works for a big P.R. agency and she can't be seen with some small engagement ring.

Now I was married once and I remember when I proposed to my ex I was like 19 years old. I was going to school and working 2 jobs. I could barely afford to pay attention let alone the bills. So I would say the original ring I purchased and proposed with was maybe $300 at most. But it was what I could afford at the time. The next year I got a better job and prior to getting married upgraded the engagement ring to something that was more expensive. But it really really didn't make a difference about the ring because at the time we were so in love.

So I have a question: Is it the size of the ring? Or is it the love in your heart that really matters?

Or is it that the ring should be a reflection of the love?

Well each of you reading can formulate your own answers to the above questions. We all have our own opinions and I guess since I have the floor I'll share mines.

First off although it may not seem like it at times (based on some of my previous blog entries), I actually do believe in Real Love, marriage and all of the wonderful things that come along with it. So with that said I think it's a beautiful thing when a couple is in Real love and progress from dating, to engagement and eventually to marriage.

So with that said let's examine the ring. We know that the ring is a symbol of a woman's promise to give herself in marriage to the man in the future. Also, we have all heard the traditional price to spend on a ring is 2-3 months wages or salary. Well I have always heard this, but I never knew where this statement came from. Well according to Wiki this guideline originated from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds. So basically this guideline has to be one of the most successful and long running marketing schemes to date. In fact, the slogan "A Diamond is Forever" coined in 1947, was recently named as one of the best slogans of the 20th Century. So, 100 plus years later we're still going by De Beers guideline and increasing revenue for the diamond industry.

Now I'm not trying to approach this subject from a cheap man's perspective. I honestly feel like if you love the woman and truly want her to marry you then you should go all out and show her how much, but within reason. I feel like when purchasing a ring a man should take some things into consideration just like any other major purchase. And I'm sure we all agree that purchasing an engagement ring is a major purchase. So this is no different than purchasing a house or a car; therefore, you should consider a number of questions. For instance, can you really afford this ring? What if she doesn't accept? Then what is the return policy? How will you pay? Cash or credit? What about the wedding itself? Will you have to pay for the wedding? Or are you lucky enough to have her parents follow tradition and pay for the wedding?

"On average, US couples spend $28,732 for their wedding. However, the majority of couples spend between $14,366 and $35,915 while their wedding budget is typically 50% less than the amount spent. This does not include cost for a honeymoon or engagement ring." "The average cost of a diamond engagement ring is $3,500 to $4,000."

Although all men would love to propose with the biggest Flinstones' rock on her finger, sometimes it's just not feasible. Let's add a real world example. Recently singer Beyonce who's married to rapper Jay-Z openly discussed details of her marriage. "In eschewing tradition, Beyonce didn't want an engagement ring, as it is "just material and it's just silly to me." Instead, the lovebirds got matching tattoos on their ring fingers of the Roman numeral IV — a digit not only significant because of her wedding date. Beyonce was born Sept. 4; Jay-Z, Dec. 4. "What Jay and I have is real," she said." Now imagine that. Jay-Z can afford to buy anything he wants, including the most expensive engagement ring imaginable. Now to refer to the opening example, I would say that Beyonce has a much bigger image to keep up than the young lady at her little PR agency job.

All I can say is that in this economy knowing what I make I would hate to be in a relationship that is heading towards engagement. Unless I was lucky enough to have a woman that will say something like Beyonce I would seriously have to wait until I saved up enough money. However, I would potentially run the risk of being consider one of those guys that want the milk without paying for the Cow. So what is a guy to really do? But there are so many factors to consider when you're trying to choose that perfect engagement ring. Just know that if you don't represent correctly she probably won't be the person you hear it from. You should be more concerned about the external pressures. Yep you unfortunately you should be worrying about "what will so and so think of the ring?" She may even be fine with the inexpensive ring initially, but may quickly change once people get in her ear.

Her girls: "Girl it's nice and we happy for you and happy he finally popped the question lord knows we thought the day would never come, but damn all this time and that's as much as your man loves you? That ring is a lil' small aint it?"

The Scavengers: "So you say you engaged huh? Well I can't really tell from the ring you're wearing. If I was your Fiance' you'd be wearing a real ring."

Her Dad: "You know I don't really like the boy anyway. And if he can't even buy you a suitable ring then I can't understand how he's going to take care of you."

You can trust and believe that by the time all of them finish talking you'll be hoping that you haven't passed the 30 day return period yet. Bottom line is this I'm not hating on a man that can buy his potential wife a $25,000 ring or better. I'm simply saying when did the focus of love and marriage get switched to how much the ring you buy is worth? If I love you unconditionally then whether I'm rich or poor or somewhere in between that love is going to be the same. If I can't get you that 5 karat diamond engagement ring to begin with then I ask you to accept this 1 or 2 karat. I know that you're worth more than gold and diamonds. And I promise I will upgrade this ring as time goes on and as my income increases. But maybe that's just me.

Basically when I plan to get married again I want to have that Grandmother and Grandfather love. I don't know what happen but people have gotten away from that. You know your grandparents started out with basically nothing but love, that is if they even got an engagement ring back then. But your grandfather did what he could when he could and eventually got her a ring and by time we were old enough to know grandma had a beautiful wedding ring. But as much as they went through they still had that Real Love. That unconditional Love. No matter how bad things got or what flaws the other person had they still stuck it out and took "til death do us part" to heart. So if you have that type of Love, then the type of ring you have doesn't matter, nor does any other material thing. Because you can't put a price on love. I'm just saying, I'd rather have Love that's forever than a diamond that is supposedly forever.

But as for the subject at hand. However you feel about the engagement ring I just feel like it's a conversation that each individual couple should discuss. Communication is key. Make sure you're on the same level when it comes to engagement, proposal and marriage. If you know that your potential fiance' will want an expensive ring then you better get on the grind and start saving for that ring. Or perhaps you can use Jay-Z and Beyonce as a way to get out of having to buy a ring and getting a tattoo instead. I dont recommend trying it unless you got Jay's type of money. Or maybe you can use the line that Method Man said in the song "All I need" Featuring Mary J. Blige, "Word life you don't need a ring to be my wife." But to be honest I doubt either will work but good luck with that!

--C-Recks--

Scavenger Hunt

So I got an e-mail yesterday from a girl I used to talk to a few years back. It was a surprise to even hear from her considering we hadn't talked in over a year. So we e-mailed back and forth a few times and caught up. She asked the usual catching up questions about career, kids, and love life. I answered each question. And in turn asked her the same questions. She answered all in detail; however, when I asked about love life she said uhhhh and hesitated. In the back of my head I'm thinking uh oh that's not good. But she proceeded to tell me she had been with her man for a year now and how things weren't going well and why. Now I didn't ask for all these details, but she felt the need to tell me. So I simply listened to all she had to say but I didn't say anything back to her about her situation. But then I began to think more about it and well now I have this to say.


To my fellas you better get on your A+ Game!!! If you got a good woman I'm telling you now don't slip up. Take it from a man that's been through it before. Let my pain save you from the same fate. There are men out there as we speak that are just waiting on you to mess up. Unfortunately if you've already messed up well you better get it together and real quick. I know this doesn't apply to all women, and I'm no expert but I feel like the majority of women fall into this category here. Those women aren't going to leave their man or cheat on him just off G.P. Women need a good reason in order to just mentally justify it within themselves. The fact is that any average to good looking woman is going to be pursued all day every day by men. Whether she is at work, at the mall, at the grocery store, walking down the street, or on the Internet a guy will be trying to holla. So therefore, if her man is on his job she may hear these advances but they go in one ear and out the other. However, let you start slipping up. Oh you better believe her ears will start hearing it all and worse than hearing it she may act upon what she hears.

Now the reason I call them scavengers is because just like real scavengers in the wild (i.e. a vulture or a hyena) they prey upon the weak, hurt and or dead (which can all be describe the status of your relationship). And as soon as they see an opportunity to swoop in and get your woman they will definitely take it. No man (unless you're a scavenger yourself) appreciates nor really likes the scavenger men. But they're a part of life. And unfortunately you still have to respect they gangsta! As it was once told to me in so many words "Yo chick chose me." LoL. Just look at the example I opened with. Luckily for her man I'm not one of these scavengers or else she would have given me all the info I needed to make my next move my best move.

But again all you can do is be on your A+ Game at all times and set the bar high enough that no other man can even reach what you do or will do for your woman. As they say one man's trash is another man's treasure. Or what you don't appreciate someone else will. Choose whatever clever cliche you want to use, but it all boils down to the same thing. Betty Wright gave the female's perspective on the same topic and warned about the "The Clean Up Woman." Well unfortunately these scavengers have constant ammunition they can use to shoot game at your woman. And it comes in the form of song lyrics. We've all heard these songs before. But don't let one of them come on when your woman is next to you and you know you have messed up. Oh do I feel for you. LoL.

So, with that said we've compiled our Top Ten songs that talk about taking another man's woman! (Could be your woman...)


#10 - Chris Brown - Ya Man Aint Me
Even the young'n Chris Brown is no fool when it comes to knowing what to say to get to another man's girl. As you can listen in the song he tells the young lady "giving you things to think about cause I know what's up) Since he aint tryna step it up, don't you think you should give him up?" See a lot of the times the only goal is to plant a seed in the mind. He's simply making a suggestion. By the time he reaches the chorus the lyrics state "Stop tripping, I know you got a man but girl he's slipping, I can see myself gettin in where I fit in." And I'm sure that by the time he gets to the bridge he's managed to change her mind. "You and him aint meant to be together, life with me will be better. Yes, let him leave you'll be doing yourself a favor girl I'm just tryna save you." This was very smooth, he even managed to cover up his actual intentions by making it as if he's playing captain Save Em'.

#9 - Keith Sweat Feat. Keyshia Cole - Love You Better
Keith Sweat has been begging since the the 80's. Well he's back this year with a new album and on it features this little gem of a song. He teams up with Keyshia Cole as he puts her man on full blast. Check out the lines of the first verse: "You need to go and let him know right now. ‘Cuz he don’t even know how to make you smile. Y’all don’t even makin love, see it’s over baby. He spend all his night at the strip club. When what he got at home girl is real love." Now I'm not mad at anyone for going to the strip club but how is he gone put her man's business out there like that. And further more I'm just curious how he knows how much time he spends at the strip club unless he frequents the same establishment. The chorus gets to the point and lets her know what her next move should be. "Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody new.
Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody who. Go and tell your man that you’ve found somebody, Who can love you better, I can love you better."

#8 - Jesse Mccartney - Leavin'
Now here's another unique strategy of scavengers. Jesse Mccartney doesn't really have a valid argument in this song as to why she should leave her man (not one that he mentions at least). Therefore, he resorts to flaunting all he has to offer. "You make me want to take you out and let it rain (make it rain). I know you got a man, but this is what you should say." And once again there's instructions on what she needs to say to her man in the chorus. "Why won’t you tell him that... I’m leavin', never to come back again, You found somebody who does it better than he can No more making you cry, no more of them gray skies, Girl we flying on that G-5, G-5
And we're leavin', never to come back again, So call your shorty and tell him you found a new man. The one that so, so fly, The one that keep you high... Don't Stress Girl you deserve nothing but the best." Again I don't know what this girl's man did besides probably being broke but sometimes that's enough to cause you to slip up.

#7 - Sam Salter - Once my S**t (Always my S**t)

Well Sam Salter brings us to another version of the scavenger. This is actually one that you should already be leery and aware of. It's the Ex. Although he should technically be out of the picture lets just say he can easily find his way on the scene especially if you start messing up. His only hope is that you're messing up worse than he did to lose her. And in this song Sam quickly makes it known that he's waiting on his opportunity to get her back. "I heard you found someone new, he's runnin round town just frontin' on you." The 2nd verse gets a little more personal. "Did he see your tattoo? With my name written all over you. I know that he hates me, cause he can't replace me. Cause in the end I'm the one for you." Well it doesn't take long for Sam to re-mark his territory. The chorus goes as follows: "He can't do it like I do, I do, I do, No I don't give a damn who's hittin' it, I don't give a damn who's workin' it, even if he's kissin' it. Cause once my S**t ...always my s**t!!" Unfortunately you can't erase history and if you slipping up history will repeat itself but not to your benefit.

#6 - Joe - Treat Her Like a Lady
#6 was originally going to be a different song by Joe "You Dropped your Dime." However being unable to find the video to go with the song we decided to switch to a different Joe song. Although it's not quite about him taking another man's girl it's still extremely relevant. On "Treat her Like a Lady" Joe is actually doing the same thing in which I am and giving men some advice on how to prevent them from losing their ladies. Joe immediately begins by asking a series of questions throughout the song. " Tell me when was the last time, you brought her roses home from work. Tell me when was the last time, you rubbed her feet when she said they hurt. Tell me when was the last time, you bought a card to tell her how you feel. Don't even know when was the last time, you lit a candle for a late night meal."Yeah I'm sure that will hit home with a lot of you men. But don't for a second think that's it, the chorus pours even more salt into your wound. "How long will it be before you treat her like your queen. And how long will it take, before she starts coming home too late. And how long will it be, before she starts running in the streets. You better take the time to treat her like your lady." A select few of you even get a little reprieve when Joe states "Now if this don't apply to you, keep doing what you do. But if the shoe fits you well, take a minute and just ask yourself." All I gotta say is if you don't listen to me at least listen to Joe.

#5 - Mario - Let Me Love you
Mario didn't hesitate to immediately let the woman know that her situation with her man just isn't what it should be. He opens up the song stating: "Baby I just don't get it do you enjoy being hurt? I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt. You don't believe his stories you know that they're all lies. Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why." As if that wasn't enough to plead his case the chorus to the song goes on to state "If I was ya man (baby you) Never worry bout (what I do) I'd be coming home (back to you) Every night, doin' you right. You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs) Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings) Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)."

#4 - Jagged Edge - He Can't Love You
"I aint no hata or nothing but he can't love you like I can. Trust me" What a way to start off the song. It definitely sets the tone for JE to not "hate" on her man. Apparently they're playing the role of the Ex and they've let their girl slip away. Now they're trying to pull a move like Sam Salter was in song #7. The chorus says it all: "He can't love you like I love you Baby you know it too. And you should never wanna be with a man If he can't be a man And do the things to you like I can."

#3 - LL Cool J Feat. Boyz II Men- Hey Lover

LL has been writing songs for the ladies since the 80's. Hence the name LL (Ladies Love) But he definitely took it to a new level when he teamed up with Boyz II Men to do "Hey Lover." In a random encounter on the street LL sees a woman and from the onset he plans on taking her from her man. In verse one he states "I gotta take ya from your man that's my mision, If his love is real he got ta handle competition." Then next on his agenda is to build his case as he explains "you only knew him for about 5 months (that's right) besides he drinks too much and smokes too many blunts." Also, he states "I see you at the bus stop waitin everyday your man must think its safe for you to travel that way." But he does digress stating he's not trying to violate her relationship. Although most of L's song is a fantasy of what he would do or say to the woman it's still realistic in the fact that it's exactly how it happens.

#2 - Tre Songz - Can't Help But Wait
The person that wrote and or produced "Can't Help but Wait" must have also had something to do with the aforementioned "Let me Love you" by Mario #5. If you listen they both virtually sound the same. Although the concept is the same, Tre Songz approaches it just a little differently. "I see you, you're with him - he ain’t right but you don’t trip You stand by, while he lies - then turn right 'round and forgive. I can’t take to see your face, with those tears run down your cheeks..." Even though those words sound just the same as all the other songs the chorus is where he differentiates himself. "Girl I can’t help but wait Til’ you get back with him, it don’t change. Can’t help but wait Til’ you see that wit me it ain’t the same. Can’t help but wait Til’ you, see you, for what you really are Baby girl you are a star And I can’t help but wait." So Tre is basically saying he already knows she's going to stay with the guy even though things are bad. But even still he's going to wait for her to see it herself. Just like the others Tre says "And I don’t wanna come between you and your man. Even though I know I treat you better than he can." Then to add insult to injury he flosses a little in the 2nd verse. "You’re a queen, you should be, getting all that someone’s got. You should be rocking the latest in purses, bracelets, and watches, your're worth much more than an occasional I love you." So even after laying out his plan he is going to still be there waiting even when she doesn't choose him. But he still warns her "Get it together you can do better."

Alright we're down to #1. I'm sure you've been wondering what # this song was going to come in. But here it is the #1 song about taking another man's woman. Drum Roll Please..

#1 - Joe - All the Things your Man Won't Do
Well the title alone tells you what the topic of the song is and also explains why Joe comes in at #1 with this song. He gets right into the topic at hand with the first verse: "Tell me what kind of man would treat his woman so cold treat you like you're nothin' when you're worth more than gold. Girl, to me you're like a diamond I love the way you shine a hundred million dollar treasure I'll give the world to make you mine." Then Joe pulls out pure game when he says this line in the 2nd verse "What good is a diamond nobody can see it I hear he got you on lock down but I got the master key!" Bam! He got her right there he doesn't even have to say anything else. But why not keep going while you got her on the ropes just to officially pull her in. "I'll light a thousand candles all around. Show me to the subway, I'll go down. Nothing can be sweeter than the sound of making love." But don't think he's done yet. Joe does a little bit of over kill here at the bridge "I'll make your body cream with my sex machine I won't stop until I hear your mother scream." Making yo momma scream? Damn! Well you can see and hear for yourself why Joe is #1.

In conclusion, I can't say that all the men that fit the category of scavengers even try to do it on purpose. Sometimes it's just a crime of opportunity. No different than a man walking past an armored truck and the back door being unlocked and the bags of money are just sitting there for you to take they may as well be gift wrapped with a bow. Yes they are still committing a crime which is wrong but their intentions from the beginning weren't to rob the armored truck. They've probably never committed a crime in their life, but sometimes when it's presented to them so easy they can't help but to take advantage. So to my fellas out there make sure you take heed. It's never an overnight process and it can be happening as we speak maybe you're just not paying close enough attention. It always starts off as just friends or someone to talk to and vent to about how you messed up. You know an occasional shoulder to cry on. But you better believe the scavenger is simply playing his position just for the time being. But as soon as he sees an opportunity he will swoop in and quickly turn those things she hates about you into reasons why he should be her new man. Please believe it...

--C-Recks--

100 Years and Counting

I Love You. I really do. I always hold out hope that we'll be able to celebrate a great life together. I understand that not all times will be good. All relationships have their ups and downs. However this is really starting to get out of hand. I have been by your side for the better part of 25 years. And that's saying a mouthful considering that I'm only 30 years old. But you were my first love. When I was first introduced to you, I didn't know that this would be a life long relationship. But you brought so much joy to my life back then that its not really surprising. We spent the entire summer together. Everyday! On those occasions when you weren't in Chicago, you always made sure that I could see you and know how you were doing. I know that once October hit, you had other things to do. But you always came back in February. And boy did I look forward to February!

Since I've gotten older, its been one heartache after another. Just when I think we're gonna finally do this, something unexpected stands in the way. I'll be honest, I've contemplated giving my heart, and loyalty to another. But I wouldn't respect myself if I did. Too often I've seen others around me divide their loyalties. Selling themselves for a moment of pleasure. And while I saw them, and wondered how great it would be to experience that level of jubilation, I thought about you, and how much more it will mean to me to stick by your side and be there on your day of success. To know that I've poured so much of myself into this, I wouldn't feel vindicated unless it was you and I together, side by side on that day of success.

But my soul is getting weak. The setbacks are becoming ever excruciating. I'm not so selfish as to think that its all you. What can I do to get us to that next level? Tell me, I promise that I would do it. 100%. That's how much you mean to me. That's how much this relationship means to me. That's how much our success means to me. I know that it seems weird that I've invested so much into this. Please don't consider me weird, there are many more people that do much weirder things for the people they love.

Unfortunately my father warned me that you would break my heart. The love of his life did the same thing to him when he was younger. And that jaded him permanently. To the point that anytime your name is brought up, he can't do anything but shake his head, and question why I continue to deal with you. There's some laughter on his part, but mostly bewilderment at my undying devotion to you. But as I see it, that's what makes me different from him. I stick with things, for better or worse. I obviously didn't learn it from him, but it is a great quality none the less.

In closing I just want to say that I'm reaching a breaking point with you. I can't take much more of this. We have to make a change soon. Either a change for the better, or a clean break. One way or the other, we need to do what's best for the each of us. I Love You, and that will never change.

Forever Yours,
Andreas



What you have just read is my open letter to my beloved Chicago Cubs. For a 25th straight season, since I've been a fan, the Cubs failed to win the Major League Baseball championship. Now that's not a long time by the standards of some teams. Hell, the city of Cleveland hasn't celebrated a championship of any kind since the 1964 Cleveland Browns won. Though I've only been a fan for 25 years, the Cubs haven't just won a championship since 1908. So this year's loss makes it an even 100 years since the Cubs have last won. Now that's absolutely terrible.




The hardest part is that this year seemed so promising. The Cubs finished the season at 97-65, first place in the central division. There were some rough patches during the season, but the Cubs actually finished up the season strong. They opened the playoffs against the Los Angeles Dodgers, a team that I have hated since I lived in L.A. in the 90's. So I actually looked forward to the Cubs playing them, and beating them, and moving on. Much to my dismay, the Cubs laid a huge egg. Swept by the Dodgers. Boy did that hurt.



And so I'm putting my team on notice. I mean, its been an entire century since the Cubs have won a championship. I can't take this much more. The ups and the downs are definitely taking a huge toll on me. After the Cubs late season collapse of 1969, my then 11 year old father, gave up on the Cubs. I don't want to follow that path, but I'm running out of patience. This is not a threat, but I do have more than one team that I can support in Chicago. I like the White Sox, and they are from the southside of Chicago. My neck of the woods. It wouldn't take much for me to support them. I mean, nothing but selling my soul to the Devil as I would see it. But I've had enough with the Cubs. I'm running out of years to give them. I believe that I'll live to at least 75, but at the rate they're going, I still won't see a championship. I don't want to be a fair-weather fan, but its rained so much that I'd be a fool to stick around. And given what White Sox fans are known for, I don't want to commit myself to them, but I gotta do what I gotta do. So I'm putting the Cubs on notice. You don't have much longer. Until then.

-DrizaDre-