Closed Captions

So I've been reading a local paper here in Chicago called The Red Eye a lot lately and they have this segment in there called Captions. Basically they put a picture up and you can text in a caption for the picture. If it's what they consider the best one then they feature it in the next day's issue along with your name. Well by chance a couple of weeks ago one of my captions actually was chosen. The image is below.

You may have to click on it to read clearly. But basically it's a pic of Ryan Seacrest with his hands in his pocket on what looks like a red carpet. My caption read: "I would take my hands out of my pockets but I didn't get my manicure this morning." Then my name is to the right of it.

So I thought it would be fun to do something similar on this blog. I'll see what types of random and hopefully funny pics I can find online. Then I will see what kind of caption I can come up with for each. Don't worry I'll try to keep it clean for the most part or maybe not. LoL. Also, I usually come off the top of the head so I can't guarantee the captions will be 100% funny. But I've been told that I tend to crack myself up and laugh at my own jokes often. So if nothing else this will be entertaining to me. LOL.

Alright Here we go!

"I know I'm a bit new to this going down town thing. I mean I've heard of eating pussy but no one ever told me it would eat you back!"

Shaq: "Sorry Lebron I put on a little weight over the off season. But we can still make a run for the title this season. Look I can finally knock down my Free throws!!"

No one really knew that Notorious B.I.G. believed in Hinduism. Well he was reincarnated into this deer, but he's still spitting his same lyrics "Big is lookin to hurt what's under that skirt!!"

"Before I started taking Viagara I was only able to make women rise using magic. But now when the time is right I can rise to the occasion as well." ;-)


Girl: **Reading Cue Card in obvious reading voice** You may not believe it, but it is true, if it was not for his shirt I wouldn't have been attracted to him."

"Dammit grandma stop being a light weight. This is the last time I take shots of Patron with you."

"Hey dude remember that stripper from the bachelor party last night wearing the mask? Look at your bride's tongue ring. Doesn't it terribly look familiar?"

Guy Pointing:"Damn homie you see the ass on shorty right there she thick as hell!?!" Last guy on right: Nigga put on your glasses that's Olive Oil!!

Guy: "I know you can't wait to get me home can you?" Girl: **Laughs** "Have you ever hear that how a man dances is similar to how he performs in bed?" **Shrugs** "Good thing I have a vibrator."

"Damn weed has me with the munchies and I only had enough money for 5 bags of snacks. But if I throw this book hard enough at the vending machine glass it may break and I can get more."

"Thanks girls for adding more songs to my I-Tunes for me. This new shit by Jigga is off the Heazy for Sheezy! Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey Goodbye!"

"I should've known not to trust her hating ass. How the hell did I let her convince me to do the Stanky Leg down a runway anyways?"




"Not only do I use this to take the whole family's blood pressure. But truth be told this thing doubles as a penis pump for your dad."

"She's not quite Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazard. But hell, she's close enough. Besides at my age I don't get too many of these opportunities."

Man: **Does Bird call** "What Happen to that Boy?" Woman: "Honey let's go! I told you that no matter how many times you do that stupid bird call you will not be ballin like Baby from Cash Money Millionaires."

"Ladies and gentlemen I am broadcasting live from atop a 7-Story building where I will attempt to be the first reporter to end his fear of heights on Live television."

Okay that's all I could find online. Hope you got at least 1 or 2 laughs out of those. Hell I got more than a few while writing. LoL. I'll try to find more random pics for another of these posts at a later date.

--C-Recks--

Almost Famous

"Point em' out Point em' out Get em' "- Hot Stylz "Lookin Boy"

Although the above quoted song is from a group that's from Chicago I will admit I can't stand the song. However, it is relevant to the topic at hand. You see for the longest I've had a talent that most probably wouldn't even consider a talent. Some may consider it wrong or some of you may do the same thing. In fact, I've gotten better at keeping this talent to myself. Back in the day I had no problem letting those around me and closest to me about this skill set. But even though I'm not vocal about it I still can't help but to utilize it in my head.

So you're probably curious by now as to what this hidden so called talent is. Well I won't even explain it I'll just jump right into it and let you see for yourselves. It's in picture form by the way.

So since I've been taking the bus I can't help but to be naturally observant. It's just in my nature. But below are a few famous people I've come across while riding the bus/train.


Bill Gates

Now don't ask me what one of the richest men in the world was doing riding a CTA train downtown. But here you have it. Mr. Bill Gates.

Tim Reid
I haven't seen much of Tim Reid since Sister Sister went off the air a long while ago so it was good to see him again. He was flirting with this Hispanic chick next to him but I don't know his marital status and I'm not a snitch either. LoL.

Evan Ross

Dianna Ross' son and actor in the movie ATL made an appearance at the bus stop as well. A long way from ATL but I guess as he said "you gotta fake it to make it." LoL.

Derrick Rose

Now I couldn't leave myself out of this either. I don't see it at all. But a friend of mines recently told me how much I look like the NBA Rookie of the Year and #1 Chicago Bulls draft pick Derek Rose. So you can compare for yourself. The pic of me is actually me at a bulls game a couple of weeks ago. That's actually Rose on the jumbo tron.

Alright so you got me it's definitely not a talent. It's just me basically talking about people and making comparisons to who they may look like. But for some reason I'm usually dead on. As I said I used to do this all the time especially when I was with my ex. This is all we did. Probably the only damn thing we had in common. LoL. But since then, I don't say much out loud. But to myself I will certainly make a comparison in a minute. I'm sure that with my commute on the bus/train I will continue to see more famous faces. I will try to keep you updated with my sightings. Excuse my photography, you know I have to be discreet here. LoL.

Have a good weekend everyone.

--C-Recks--

www.twitter.com/crecks <<<<>

For the Cool in You

"Cause I am so cool, cool, cool..." Redman "SoopaMan Luva 3"

So last weekend I'm sitting with my son and we're playing video games. Then all of a sudden of the blue he says something that I didn't expect at all. He says and I quote "You know dad you're pretty cool." Well I couldn't help but to put on that Kanye smile as The Game said. well I guess I should say that C-Recks smile, check the picture below.

Don't laugh at me with my kool-aid smile. That pic was taken on election night and I had just used my same drink ticket for the 4th time in a row. I should sell this to Heineken for one of their advertisements. LoL.

Well after he made this statement I asked him why he thought I was so cool? He replied "because you play video games with me and stuff like that, so that makes me a cool dad." Well it is true we do sit around and play his race car video games for hours. So if that makes me cool I'll take it and bask in it for the moment. However, sometimes I wonder will I maintain be able this "cool" status in the years to come.

When I hear people (especially young people) say they want to have a baby or children for some reason my response is always "if you can help it...wait!" That's not to say that I don't love being a father, because it's one of my favorite things in the world. However, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Balancing being a parent, working, having social life, and hobbies seems to be a juggling act at times. I somehow by the grace of God am able to do it for the most part. But then there are times when my son reminds me that I'm definitely not 100% in balance. On my way to drop him back off this past Sunday he says "Dad I wish you got fired so you could be with me everyday not just weekends." After gasping, I had to correct what he said. "As much as I would love to be with you everyday dad can't get fired. So let's say I wish you could get a better job and have more free time." He agreed and repeated what I said. Although, I wanted to say no job = no child support which = dad in jail. Not to mention my slim frame is conducive with jail bids and the fact that soap is slippery. LoL.

When my ex was pregnant her and I thoroughly discussed how we wanted to raise our son. Of course we didn't stay together so certain things were altered, but as they said "best laid plans." But that didn't change what I needed to do as a father for my son. I know I'm old (getting old), but I still feel young, so my son confirmed how I feel. I feel like I'm cool as a fan or the other side of the pillow. You pick one of those Stewart Scott one liners. I think I'll always try to keep my ear to the street as my son gets older. I can't have him pulling one over on me because he thinks I'm too old and out of touch with slang and what's going on in his young world.

For example, a while back a friend of mines asked me about a slang word. Now she's older than I am, maybe in her mid to late 30's. She has 3 teenage sons. In the past she's come to me to ask me about different slang words. Well apparently her sons had been using this term around her and wouldn't tell her the meaning. So at one point she's talking with the kids and they used the term and since they wouldn't tell her what it meant she just started saying it too. "Well if that's the case I'm a "Blank" your brother is a "blank" and your dad is also a "blank." So, the kids simply laughed at her and she was still left in the dark. As she's telling me this story I'm like NO! you didn't say that did you? She's like yeah I did why? So I go ahead and explain to her what the term means. She was shocked and says "I'm gone get they asses!" LoL. I laughed but then I thought man I gotta stay on my slang game even when I get older.

Just in case you're trying to fill in the blank, the word she/the kids were saying was Bust Down! SMH!!

Now I realize that I won't always be the cool dad. So I need to bask in this coolness while I can. There will be a time when I will be replaced as his video game buddy by one of his boys. The same goes for when it comes to going out riding bikes, going to the mall, the arcade and all the other cool things we do together. Eventually, dear old dad will not be cool enough to hang out with Lil' C. I'll get the "I'll just call you when it's time to pick me up speech." Or the "Can you drop me down the block because I don't want anyone to see you dropping me off." So when that day comes I won't let my feelings get hurt. I'll just think back and say. "Hey there was a time when you thought I was cool. And trust in 5 or so more years when you're 18+ years old I'm sure I'll gain that status back again."

--C-Recks--

Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen

I like to consider myself to be a man of many talents. Some I utilize daily, while others just every once and a while. And of course like every one there are some things I am not too good at. So with that said, there is something I have something to admit. This may shock some of you, but I'll explain in further detail as you keep reading. So here's it is [cue dramatic music]...

I don't Cook!

Yes I know a shocker right? LoL. So you're probably thinking 1 of 2 things. Do I not cook because I don't know how to or because I am just lazy? Well I would say it is a little combination of the 2. Whenever asked whether I can cook I always reply "just the basics." So that means your basic chicken, fried or baked and any ready made meals involving browning ground beef. Also, Breakfast items: pancakes, french toast, eggs, etc. So you get it just the basics. As basic as those meals are I honestly won't even cook them.

As for my admitted laziness, I feel I have a right to be. I get up every morning and slave for the man. When I get off work I want to do 2 things, and neither involves slaving over a hot stove. First, I want to relax and second I want a nice cold beer to sip on. I know it's pretty sad (don't judge me. Lol). Even though I may not look like it, what's even sadder is that I love to eat. LoL. However, if I have to get up and cook it, 9 times out of 10 it's just not going to happen. Thank God for fast food. For further clarification here's my schedule. During the week I'm a single bachelor and as long as there is a nearby restaurant I will definitely eat. Now on the weekends I have my son. But not to worry he's not subjected to scarfing down the fast food that I normally eat. On the weekends my mom pays a visit and my son and I both get some good ol' home cookin'. Trust me he should be grateful for grandmothers, I've also tasted his mom's cooking. LoL. So as you can see there's a good balance for the most part. Lol.

Now if you want to know how often I cook let me share this funny story. About a year ago my brother was in town. Me him and my mom were at my place. Prior to getting off of work and they called me asking me to pick up some buns for some Sloppy Joe's they were making. So, as I come in from work I grab my brew and chill for a few minutes and watch TV with my mom and bro. They were pretty into whatever they were watching. Normally I would wait for one of them to cook, but for some reason that day I was hungrier than average and was ready to eat.

Determined not to starve, I got up and went to the kitchen. The ground beef was already out. So I threw it in the pan and started to brown the meat. Well about 5 minutes later the meat starts to sizzle. That's when I hear my brother from the living room "What are you doing Man!?!" I yelled back "I'm making these Sloppy Joe's man." The next thing I know my mom starts busting up laughing. So I step out of the kitchen and ask them "what's so funny?" My mom has a big smile on her face and my brother is sort of shaking his head in defeat. My mom says "we'll tell you once you finish cooking."

So I finished browning the meat, added the Sloppy Joe mix, a little seasoning, and it was done. I grabbed some buns and made me a couple Sloppy Joe sandwiches. After I finished eating they began to explain the laughter. Apparently they had made a bet. (Keep in mind competition and betting is somehow embedded in us). The bet was that I wouldn't cook at least 3 meals by my next birthday. My mom was betting for me while my brother bet against me. The bet had been going on I believe since like September of that year 2007. Well prior to this Sloppy Joe meal my mom had gained a significant advantage. Thanksgiving 2007 we all cooked separate dishes. I tried to get out of it, but my mom persuaded me to make the dressing (see pic to left). Then when Christmas came around the following month I made the macaroni & cheese and the dressing again. Therefore, when I began making the Sloppy Joe's I clenched the win for my mom. Moms was able to double up on a previous $20 bet with my brother winning her $40 because of that meal. LoL.

Well fast forward to 2009. I'm not really a New Year's resolution type person, so I don't write down what I want to do throughout the new year. However, I make small mental notes of things I want to accomplish and or do in the new year. I find it easier for me especially in case I don't them done. That way I don't have that list staring at me daily come the end of the year. So I made a mental note to perhaps, maybe, possibly start cooking more. LoL. Then a couple weeks ago I watched one of Darius' Every Day Cookin' videos. Wow!! All I can say is he make it all look so easy and beyond appetizing. I was dead set on trying it out. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. But I figured maybe one of these days. LoL.

Well that day came much sooner than expected. After I recently told a friend about an upcoming date, she suggested that I cook for my date. It took some convincing and encouraging, but she got me to do it. She even coached me through the process via phone. The result? Well despite my apprehension at first, you can see for yourself below the meal turned out fine. No burns or mishaps. Also, it tasted good. My date concurred that the meal was good as well. She also suggested that I could cook for her again. LoL. So overall I say it was a success!! So, with my first meal of the year in the books hopefully # 2 will be even better. I'll keep you guys updated.

Menu: Bow Tie Chicken Pasta, Steamed Broccoli & Garlic Toast.

White Merlot Wine.

Special Thanks to my chef mentor! LoL.

--C-Recks-- aka The Ghetto Chef Cor R D. LoL

Play Your Card Right

"Don't Be fooled by the Baby Face." - Lil' Cease "Crush On You"

If you've seen me in person or in pictures there is no question that I do not look my age. In fact, I look considerably younger than I actually am. My brother at times refers to me as "The Baby Face Bandit." LoL. But it's true I can admit that I do look very young. I Definitely don't look as if I'm less than 2 years away from 30! {!Gasp!} Therefore, I don't mind using it to my advantage at times. Don't ask don't tell. LoL.

Although I constantly get teased by my family and friends, I take it all in stride. I don't get upset when I'm carded to buy alcohol anymore. I come with I.D. in hand ready for the cashier. Whenever I visit Las Vegas I constantly think about making a name tag with my I.D. to display as I walked through the casinos. Either that or put it on a shirt like the guy in the picture so the left. LoL. But when I do get carded I love the suspect looks I usually get. They look closely at the picture and the I.D. as if it's fake. I have never owned a fake I.D. when I was younger and damn sho have no reason to now. Then there are the rare times that I do not get carded (which is not too often), I don't know why but I feel like I got away with something. Then I think to myself I hope this cashier hasn't slipped up and sold alcohol to a minor before. Because if they're letting me slide without carding me they clearly don't care.

Now I've attempted to figure out what is the factor that causes me to get carded and at times not get carded. I thought back upon some of the times I got carded and my theory was maybe it was based on how I was dressed. On average I dress very urban or hood as some would call it. Therefore, I could definitely be considered to look young not only in the face, but also some may assume my age based on how I'm dressed. However, there are other times when I do dress up with more casual and sometimes dressy attire.

So, below I am going to display some pictures of me dressed normally (hood) and some of me more dressed up. The results of me being carded or not are listed below each picture. But I want you to tell me how old do you honestly think I look in each picture. And would you card me or even be willing to serve me alcohol at all? LoL!

1. I wore this to go to the movies with a friend a few months ago. I was carded for an R rated movie. SMH! Damn shame. We then went to grab a drink and the waitress didn't card me at first. Wow what a surprise considering minutes before I didn't even look 17. But soon after the drinks arrived she came back said her boss said she needed to card us. LoL.

2. I wore this out to a bowling alley with my brother, best friend, and some of her girls. I Got carded for drinks there. From there we went to a hood bar where my cousin was partying at and didn't get carded.

3. I wore this out to kick it with the bff about 4-5 months ago to have some margaritas at this Mexican spot. Funny thing about this is my bff forgot her wallet/I.D. at home and the drive is at least 25 minutes. My mom happened to be over and I told her to borrow my mom's I.D. She was reluctant and didn't think it would work or that she would get caught. LoL. We get there she's scared to death when we ask for drinks and they carded us. I handed mines and she handed hers. But we didn't even look at each other, for I knew she would fold under the pressure if we made eye contact. LoL.

4. I wore this out on a date on Christmas Eve to a restaurant. We ordered drinks and I was of course carded. Then my date playfully asked to see my I.D. as well. She claimed that since the first time we went out she didn't believe my age either. LoL.

5. I wore this out on election night to an event being held by Jesse Jackson Jr. I was actually not carded, but you had to purchase drink tickets. I immediately took my ticket and I tipped the bar tender nicely. She never asked for my ticket. So I kept coming back and doing the same thing. I swear I got about 6 or more drinks off the same 1 ticket. LoL.

6. I wore this out to my best friend's graduation/dinner. They gave us complimentary champagne to toast with. And yes they carded me.

7. I wore this out on my birthday last year [2008], we first hit up a comedy club. Then afterwards we went to a restaurant to have some drinks and food. I ordered my drink and the waitress immediately carded me. She didn't believe it was my birthday nor my age. She said she had a 16 year old son that looked as old as me. LoL.

8. I wore this during my first visit to Las Vegas a couple of years ago for my Birthday [2006]. Here me and my bro were at the champagne Brunch at the Rio Casino (Best Brunch Anywhere). Although this was the first of many drinks that day, if memory serves me best I'm quite sure I got carded here as well.


Well based on those results I don't think the way I dress has anything to do with being carded at all. I just look young. LoL. But I look forward to seeing your answers. Nonetheless, it's cool I don't mind looking young. I'm completely comfortable with it. I figure if I can still probably pass for 20 when I'm 30 that means when I'm 40 I'll look about 30. And I'll take that all day.

--C-Recks--

Man Up!!! Part 3

We're back with another edition of the World Famous Man Up Rules. I hope you all have been paying attention and avoiding any violations. As usual the same rules still apply. Remember this blog represents what we consider to be Man Up Rules. So, each week we'll add to the list just based off of our observations and perspectives. So be sure to check back weekly. Note: Most rules apply to men/boys age 13 and older (except where noted). Also, the rules are in no particular order.


Man Up Rule #14: Stand alone tattoos are not allowed in places such as the ankle (Image 1). Also, the lower back tattoo is never allowed on a man (Image 2). Exceptions will be made for full leg or back tattoos. Or really cool or manly looking ones like the last one below (Image 3).

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(2 This is David Beckham btw)

(3)

Man Up Rule #15: Regardless of how swole or muscular you are and how many females you have visiting your page you should never post shirtless pictures or videos of yourself on any social networking site (myspace, black planet, facebook, youtube, etc.) where other men can access your page.

Man Up Rule #16: Men should not take bubble baths unless there is a woman about to enter or already in the tub (Image 1). Tony Montana gets a pass though (Image 2).

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(2)

Man Up Rule #17: It is never appropriate to tickle another man. It doesn't matter if he just lost his house to foreclosure, car to repossession, wife to divorce, job to downsizing and his dog ran away all in the same day. No man ever needs this much cheering up!!

Man Up Rule #18: Jewelery such as anklets (Image 1) and toe rings (Image 2) shall not be worn. The only acceptable ankle bracelet is a "House Arrest" monitoring bracelet (Image 3). Also if you are "blinged" out from head to toe and that is also acceptable (Image 4).

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(4)

To Be Continued....




Brothers' Perspective



---C-Recks---
---DrizaDre---