Myspace Madness

When we first started this blog our cousin made a comment. She said "if you're not making a personal diary on this blog then won't you eventually run out of things to blog about?" Well Cuzzo we're 9 months in and still going strong. As much as we try to not make this a personal blog, there are often times when certain things just get thrown in your lap. Well at that point you have no choice but to blog about them. I have a song I wrote called "Walk in my Shoes" and part of the chorus states "If you take a walk in my shoes and lace em' up/ you'll see that I'm for real man I can't make this up." So here is one of those situations.

Here's the background info: I'm not going to go personally into all of the nitty gritty, but let's just say due to certain circumstances my brother and I aren't the closest with our father. Now in recent months he's made attempts to rebuild the relationship. But to be honest, let's just say as Jay-Z said "It's a slow process and I ain't got nothing but time."

So a few days ago I get a weird text message. After reading it I realize it's a text message sent via yahoo messenger. The message happened to be from my father. So I'm in my head like "who in the hell put him up on yahoo messenger?" Not that he's too old or anything because my mom uses yahoo messenger at times. But for some reason it was just weird coming from him. So the message is general so I go ahead and reply. Then he begins to ask me about my music and when my cd is coming out. So I tell him and give him my myspace link www.myspace.com/crecksinkrowd. I think nothing of this innocent gesture as I felt if he was really interested he would appreciate seeing the site. He said he would check it out and that was the end of the convo. At least so I thought.

Well I got another of these texts from him last night. I was actually online at the time, so I just went ahead and IM'd him directly through yahoo messenger. He was going on saying how much he liked my myspace page and how professional it looked. Also, he stated that he was looking forward to hearing my CD. Now my father was into music way back in the days. But just like all musicians I guess you just never give up on the dream. So, he was going on about how he wanted to collabo with me (LMAO), how he can help me, about this artist he's producing, and how he knows so and so he can give my cd to. Blah blah, Yada Yada. So in parting he makes this statement. "Who are the ladies on your myspace page?" I'm like I don't know it's a music page everyone gets approved so it could be anyone. Some of them I know some are just myspace friends. So, he closes saying "Well I don't know which were which but Wow!! had me thinking... Never mind talk to you later son." I shook my head as he signed out of messenger and again thought that was that.

So not too long after that I go on to my myspace page to check my messages and play that damn Mafia Game I'm addicted to. LoL. So I notice I have a new friend request and a new message. I get all kinds of friend requests, so I never really pay attention to nor ever visit the pages of some of the clowns that send me requests. As I said everyone gets approved! So when I looked at this latest request. The name first stuck out. But I'm like Oh Hell No this just couldn't be. So I go to my messages and see I have a message from this person as well. I read the message and immediately start to "crack" the hell up like Bobby and Whitney. I go to the person's page and see the main picture and just begin to shake my goddamn head. I begin to read the profile and let out a WTF aloud. Can this nigga be serious?

I'm sure you guessed it by now. But yes my damn father had created a myspace page. Now my father brings about all kinds of hilarity just for no damn reason some times. I've referred to him as dad and father here, but trust he gets called a lot of names by us and neither of those are often spoken. Trust if I got down and personal I would have endless blogs that would have you dying a slow death from laughter. However, this officially took the cake. I immediately got on the phone and called my brother. When I tell him the story we're both damn near in tears. But wait here's the kicker. You ready? The nigga listed his age as 40!! 40? Are you serious? My brother is 30 and I'll be 29 this year. So you were 10 and 11 when you had us? Get the hell outta here. This so reminded me of the episode of Boondocks where granddad was on myspace meeting women. See the clip below.



See this is why certain technologies are dangerous when they fall into the hands of either young children or older people. Now I'm not saying there is anything wrong with older people being on myspace. So if any of your parents have myspace pages then more power to them. However, I do have a problem with MY parents being on there. In addition, I would have a problem with my parents frequenting the same club I hit up. I don't want to see pops trying to holler at young girls or mom's (not that she ever would) dropping it like it's hot. There just has to be certain boundaries that are set and respected.

So in an attempt to see if I was alone in this boat, I did some research and just did a quick browse on myspace for people ages 50 (my dad's real age) - 68 (the maximum age field myspace allows). Well apparently within a 250 mile radius of my zip code there were about 3000 people men and women that fit that search criteria. I clicked through a few pages and noticed the majority of them were white people. But I guess I felt a little better knowing that I'm not the only child being embarrassed by their parent.

I just find it funny that I just wrote a blog about being the cool dad to my son as he gets older. I mean I want to be up to date with slang and technology; however, at age 50 my son will be 26. By that time as cool as I would want to still be in his eye, I think I would have just embraced my old age.

I'm honestly still debating on whether to approve this friend request or not. The good thing with having over 1000 friends is that he would be buried in the pile. But there's absolutely no way in hell that he's going in my top friends. I'll keep a running update on how the new myspace adventures are going. I'm sure my brother will have to also state his take on the situation. So this definitely won't be the last you hear of this subject. All I know is if I get a friend request from my mom I'm closing that damn page down quicker than a buffet when a bus load of obese people pull up. LoL. Oh and to my cousin as long as I have gold like this I'll never run out of stuff to blog about. And by the way cuzzo you're in my top friends on myspace, so check your inbox. I'm sure that your uncle sent you a friend request too. So far he only has Tom and some unforsaken victim. LMAO!!

--C-Recks--

Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen

I like to consider myself to be a man of many talents. Some I utilize daily, while others just every once and a while. And of course like every one there are some things I am not too good at. So with that said, there is something I have something to admit. This may shock some of you, but I'll explain in further detail as you keep reading. So here's it is [cue dramatic music]...

I don't Cook!

Yes I know a shocker right? LoL. So you're probably thinking 1 of 2 things. Do I not cook because I don't know how to or because I am just lazy? Well I would say it is a little combination of the 2. Whenever asked whether I can cook I always reply "just the basics." So that means your basic chicken, fried or baked and any ready made meals involving browning ground beef. Also, Breakfast items: pancakes, french toast, eggs, etc. So you get it just the basics. As basic as those meals are I honestly won't even cook them.

As for my admitted laziness, I feel I have a right to be. I get up every morning and slave for the man. When I get off work I want to do 2 things, and neither involves slaving over a hot stove. First, I want to relax and second I want a nice cold beer to sip on. I know it's pretty sad (don't judge me. Lol). Even though I may not look like it, what's even sadder is that I love to eat. LoL. However, if I have to get up and cook it, 9 times out of 10 it's just not going to happen. Thank God for fast food. For further clarification here's my schedule. During the week I'm a single bachelor and as long as there is a nearby restaurant I will definitely eat. Now on the weekends I have my son. But not to worry he's not subjected to scarfing down the fast food that I normally eat. On the weekends my mom pays a visit and my son and I both get some good ol' home cookin'. Trust me he should be grateful for grandmothers, I've also tasted his mom's cooking. LoL. So as you can see there's a good balance for the most part. Lol.

Now if you want to know how often I cook let me share this funny story. About a year ago my brother was in town. Me him and my mom were at my place. Prior to getting off of work and they called me asking me to pick up some buns for some Sloppy Joe's they were making. So, as I come in from work I grab my brew and chill for a few minutes and watch TV with my mom and bro. They were pretty into whatever they were watching. Normally I would wait for one of them to cook, but for some reason that day I was hungrier than average and was ready to eat.

Determined not to starve, I got up and went to the kitchen. The ground beef was already out. So I threw it in the pan and started to brown the meat. Well about 5 minutes later the meat starts to sizzle. That's when I hear my brother from the living room "What are you doing Man!?!" I yelled back "I'm making these Sloppy Joe's man." The next thing I know my mom starts busting up laughing. So I step out of the kitchen and ask them "what's so funny?" My mom has a big smile on her face and my brother is sort of shaking his head in defeat. My mom says "we'll tell you once you finish cooking."

So I finished browning the meat, added the Sloppy Joe mix, a little seasoning, and it was done. I grabbed some buns and made me a couple Sloppy Joe sandwiches. After I finished eating they began to explain the laughter. Apparently they had made a bet. (Keep in mind competition and betting is somehow embedded in us). The bet was that I wouldn't cook at least 3 meals by my next birthday. My mom was betting for me while my brother bet against me. The bet had been going on I believe since like September of that year 2007. Well prior to this Sloppy Joe meal my mom had gained a significant advantage. Thanksgiving 2007 we all cooked separate dishes. I tried to get out of it, but my mom persuaded me to make the dressing (see pic to left). Then when Christmas came around the following month I made the macaroni & cheese and the dressing again. Therefore, when I began making the Sloppy Joe's I clenched the win for my mom. Moms was able to double up on a previous $20 bet with my brother winning her $40 because of that meal. LoL.

Well fast forward to 2009. I'm not really a New Year's resolution type person, so I don't write down what I want to do throughout the new year. However, I make small mental notes of things I want to accomplish and or do in the new year. I find it easier for me especially in case I don't them done. That way I don't have that list staring at me daily come the end of the year. So I made a mental note to perhaps, maybe, possibly start cooking more. LoL. Then a couple weeks ago I watched one of Darius' Every Day Cookin' videos. Wow!! All I can say is he make it all look so easy and beyond appetizing. I was dead set on trying it out. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. But I figured maybe one of these days. LoL.

Well that day came much sooner than expected. After I recently told a friend about an upcoming date, she suggested that I cook for my date. It took some convincing and encouraging, but she got me to do it. She even coached me through the process via phone. The result? Well despite my apprehension at first, you can see for yourself below the meal turned out fine. No burns or mishaps. Also, it tasted good. My date concurred that the meal was good as well. She also suggested that I could cook for her again. LoL. So overall I say it was a success!! So, with my first meal of the year in the books hopefully # 2 will be even better. I'll keep you guys updated.

Menu: Bow Tie Chicken Pasta, Steamed Broccoli & Garlic Toast.

White Merlot Wine.

Special Thanks to my chef mentor! LoL.

--C-Recks-- aka The Ghetto Chef Cor R D. LoL

The First Should Be Last?!?! Part 1

Alcohol is a part of the Williams way of life. I grew up with a Grandfather who was a serious alcoholic. I mean, the absolute worst. My Grandfather was known for actually staying drunk for 2 weeks at a time, sometimes longer. (And when I say 2 weeks, I mean 24 hours a day for two weeks straight). Growing up watching this, it was more a spectacle than anything. My Grandfather was a gentle drunk. Well, that is to everyone other than my Grandmother. So my impression of alcohol wasn't terribly jaded.

So it didn't take me long before I became curious of alcohol and its effects.


Date: Fall 1993


Location: Canoga Park, California


The first part of this story that you have to understand is that in my freshman and sophomore years of high school, I missed a lot of school. Probably at least a third of the time. This day was no exception. My guy Edwin and I did our usual that day. Leave for school around 7:30. Hit the local donut shop for several games of Streetfighter II. After wandering around the west valley, we found out that there was a ditch party at the house of one of Edwin's friends. We didn't have anywhere else to go, so we walked the couple of miles to dude's crib.

When we got there, it turned out to be a bunch of white people there. Now the school that we went to was mostly white and latino, so it really didn't bother me the crowd that we would be hanging out with. About an hour after our arrival, someone started going around and asking people what they wanted from the liquor store. At this point, I had only drank the occasional wine cooler, and one time I drank some of my Aunt's brandy. (With orange juice no less, yuck). But people kept placing their orders, so when it came my turn to order, all I could get out was "Get me a 40". Pay attention to the year this occured. At that time, all I knew was that they drank 40s in Boyz N The Hood, so I said screw it. Well, that elicited this response from the Beer Man "What kind of 40"? Damn, I'm stuck now. I thought that 40 was the brand name. Goes to show what I knew then. Just so I didn't blow my cover, I replied "it doesn't matter". I hit my man with a $5, and he was gone.

About, oh, 30 minutes later he returned with a box holding everyone's drink orders. He passes everyone their drinks, and when he gets to me, he hands me a 40. of MICKEY'S! (Goddamn white boys). So I open it, and start to drinking. It couldn't have taken me but about 20 minutes to drink that whole 40. And back then, I was relatively skinny. (15 years old, 5'9" 130lbs.). So all the liquor rushed to my head. As I now know, I was buzzed at that point. In my mind though, I needed more alcohol.


There were some people who were doing shots of KAHLUA! (Again, Goddamn white boys). I decided to join them. I had probably 3 shots. It didn't taste like much to me. By this point, some of the black people from our school showed up. And that's when the fun really began. They brought, wait for it......... 40 ounces of, wait for it.......... OLD ENGLISH 800! Ah yes, what I now know is the real deal. One of the brothas handed me a half a 40 of Old E, and dared me to take it to the head. Again not wanting to be considered a punk, I downed it.

Well, that was more than enough for me. I had reached my limit. Feeling good at that point, I was ready to get back to school. (I needed to get back for 5th period because if I was absent, the teacher was under specific instructions from my father to call him). Edwin was able to secure a ride from one of the brothas for us back to school. This was a serious mistake. My man couldn't drive. We took all back streets to the school, and I swear dude was taking turns like a Nascar driver. 5 minutes later we arrived at the school. At this time, I'm really feeling the alcohol. Dude tossed me around something awful. So we walk to our cafeteria, and meet up with these two girls Julie and Cindy. (I had a serious thing for Julie at the time, which is ironic because Edwin wound up marrying her. Ain't life funny?).



Not two minutes into the conversation, I had to excue myself. I began to stumble to the restroom. I didn't make it. I got into the restroom, but I couldn't get to the stall. I threw up all over the restroom floor. The nerd kids used to hang out in there, so luckily for me my reputation wasn't harmed by me losing my cookies in public. I went back to the cafeteria and finished hanging out with Edwin, Julie, and Cindy. Even though Edwin wasn't in the restroom, he knew I had called Earl. (Or called for short). And he put me on blast like NASA. I was the joke for the rest of the day. I don't know how I made it through the rest of the day. I went to 5th and 6th period, and took my ass straight home after school. I had a serious hangover.

I swear after that day, I said what everyone always says: "I'm never drinking again"! And to be honest, I didn't really drink much until I was 23. That's when I moved in with a bartender, and I've been good friends with alcohol ever since. But not Mickey. 15 years later, I'm still holding a grudge!

-DrizaDre-

Disclaimer: When I say "Goddamn White Boys", I don't say it to be offensive. The video explains how I mean it.

The New 20

I had to take the time out of our regularly scheduled programming today to make a quick dedication. This one goes out to a man that I consider a great man, a great friend, and someone I am privileged to have in my life. On Monday September 1st my brother will be turning 30 years old. Having grown up with him it's hard to imagine that the day is coming. I mean I can sit back and remember him turning ages like 10 and 20, but 30 always seemed like such a long way away. Well that is until now. You have officially made it to age 30. So, I want to take the time out to say Happy 30th Birthday to my one and only brother.

When I started to think of three decades worth of living I didn't just reflect on the good old days and good times. However, I started to reflect on just some of the things we did as kids and as adults that could have prevented us/you from reaching this 30th Milestone. That's right I'm referring to the dumb shit that could have killed us/you. So, I've taken a bit of time to outline a few of those things. They're in no particular order.

I know Lupe Fiasco's first single was Kick Push which we all realize now is talking about skateboarding. However, my brother and I regard ourselves as the original black skateboarders. When we were living in California in the early 90's skateboarding was the thing to do. So of course we had to have skateboards as well. When our parents finally got us some we were all over the place on those things including places we shouldn't have been. Not to mention doing plenty of things we shouldn't have been doing. But I guess as they say boys will be boys, and boy oh boy did we prove that statement true. Most of the friends we hung out with and skateboarded with were white. And let's just say that back then we were too young to really realize that white people are the let's just say the "adventurous" type. So, that along with some peer pressure we were introduced to some things we normally wouldn't have done. Well somehow we were talked into riding a skateboard down a hill such as the one you see in the image on your left. Not standing up but laying down on the board as if one is really less dangerous than the other. But as if it's not bad enough to simply ride down the hill as you can see at the bottom of the hill there is a traffic light. So we would ride down the hill through the intersection using only the soles of our shoes as brakes. I remember my brother got in trouble for tearing up a pair of dress shoes this way. LoL. Needless to say we should have/could have died doing this.

As a kid peer pressure is a Mutha. Here is another example of peer pressure. This had to be like 1988 or 1989. But as me, my brother, and a friend of ours were walking home from the local arcade we were walking over a bridge similar to the one in the picture to the left. Below the bridge was like a basin so when it rained it filled with water. But on this particular day it was empty and exposed it's solid concrete. Well our friend decided to dare my brother to walk on the outside of the overpass. It may have even been a bet I don't exactly recall. All I know is that my brother makes the decision to take this dare or bet. So, as he proceeds to climb over the railing and walk on the outside of the railing across the bridge. As he's holding on tight to the railing and moving across the bridge I was on the other side quickly becoming hysterical. This walk may have taken a minute tops but to me it seemed like an eternity. I attempted to talk him into stopping and come back on the other side. However, I was doing mostly crying and yelling for him to do this. In hindsight that may not have been the best thing to do while he was concentrating on walking and not losing his balance. Yes I know I would make a great hostage negotiator. LoL. Yes so what I bitched up. LoL. But I was like 8 and thought my brother was going to fall to his death at any moment. So what would you expect? Well of course he made it across but it gave me a mild heart attack in the process. Once again another stupid move. LoL.

My brother and I didn't learn how to swim until probably after age 10. One particular day we were hanging with friends in their apartment complex that had a swimming pool. Well some of our friends had been swimming. They all knew we didn't know how to swim. However, one of them decided it would be funny to push my brother in the swimming pool. Now this swimming pool was designed as most are where it starts shallow and as you go further the water level gets deeper. Well he was pushed into the shallow end, which is maybe 4 Feet of water at most. Although he wasn't that tall at that time he was definitely taller than 4 Feet. Although as my grandfather always says, you can drown even in as little as a thimble of water (this is probably the one fact of his I still haven't fully accepted. LoL). But as he was pushed in feet first, his head never went under the water. But I guess just the thought of being in water and not knowing how to swim is enough to panic anyone. So once he began to panic he was flapping his arms all over the place while trying to reach out for the edge of the pool. Although I should have been scared and hysterical as in the story above, I was not. I was quite the opposite. I was actually laughing. To see him with his head above water essentially standing up within a fingers reach of the edge screaming I'm drowning was funny to me. Because I was sitting there thinking in my head like "your ass is nowhere near drowning kill the drama." LoL. But one of our friends went ahead and jumped in and saved him by guided him back to the edge. Although, it wasn't really a near death experience I'm sure my brother felt like it was. Also, not too long after this incident we decided to learn to swim.

As I stated, growing up we had many white friends. Well I remember we were maybe 12 and 14 respectively. Me, my brother, and our friend Mary (she's white) were walking to another friend's house. It was night time and sort of late maybe 9pm. Well we were walking down some residential streets and it was pretty dark on those streets. All of a sudden we hear someone yelling out. "Get away from her!!" But we thought nothing of it and continued walking. Then we hear it again "I told you to get the hell away from her!!" Then we finally look back and we notice this white man a ways behind us yelling. We then realized that he was yelling at us. And by her he meant our friend Mary. We keep walking but the man doesn't stop. He continues to yell then the racial slurs began to come. "Get away from her niggers." The man appeared to be intoxicated, and he began to increase his speed almost as he was running towards us. Well as I mentioned in my last blog about fight or flight one of the 2 will take over when your adrenaline is pumping. Well when you're 12 and a drunk white man is running at you spewing racial slurs guess what? You're going to run!! Which is exactly what we did. We all took off running. The only thing was that our friend Mary didn't quite have the speed we had. My brother and I ran so fast that we ended up leaving her behind. She was yelling "wait up for me!!" However, we figured he's after us and he was trying to save you so we're not going to stop to wait for you and get killed by some drunk KKK member. Well we lost him. And we proceeded to our friend's house. We had no clue what happen to Mary though. Back in those days we didn't have cell phones to call or text each other. All we had were pagers and had to locate a phone to even be able to page someone. Eventually we ran into her and all walked to the other friends house safely. We're still friends with Mary and she did forgive us for leaving her like that. LoL.

As they say what happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Well my brother recently introduced me to Las Vegas on my 26th Birthday in 2006. Ever since that first trip I try to get back to Vegas whenever I possibly can. However, there should be a disclaimer on the Las Vegas brochure and I don't mean that what happens in Vegas slogan. I mean it should tell you something like "if you gamble the alcohol is on us and you will get F**ked up." LoL. That first trip to Vegas is memorable for a few reasons. This is the short version of the story. One, we were so intoxicated that while playing Keno I filled out a ticket and gave it to my brother to play. Well he played it but didn't play the right game. So next thing we know as the numbers start coming in all damn 7 of my numbers hit. Please keep in mind that I don't recall any of this but this is how the story was told back to me, I was that intoxicated. So as my brother goes to redeem what should have been my $7,000 winning ticket they tell him he played the wrong game. He attempted to argue but the most they would give him was the $1 back it cost to play.

Well next thing I know (this is the part where my memory comes back) I'm walking through the casino parking structure and cars are honking at me to move out of the way. I tried to call my brother but my phone was dead. So I tried to find the car. Well I did but my brother had the keys. Well I was smart enough to leave a note for him on the car. I have no clue what it said but I'm sure it made no sense at all. But I was lost. My brother later told my mom that this was the first time in 26 years of being a big brother that he's lost me. LoL. Well next I decided to walk back in the casino and look around for my brother more. But as I'm walking in guess who I bump into? Yep my brother. So we were both like "where have you been?" and then we started laughing and he proceeded to tell me the story about the money. I was livid to say the least. But the fact I had no recollection of any of it kept me from being upset with him. So we hopped in the car and I chose to drive for whatever reason. As I stated in previous blogs one should never drive intoxicated and here is a good example of why.

So, I get behind the wheel and my brother tells me which way to go and we hit the highway. Our destination was Primm, Nevada. According to Google Maps this is a 43.8 mile trip on Highway 15 that should take approximately 40 minutes to drive in decent traffic. Well those estimations are made with a sober person in mind. When I hit the highway I decided to turn into Lead Foot Larry and put the pedal to the metal. So we're flying down Highway 15 in a rental car made by Mazda doing 100 plus miles an hour just talking like it's nothing. I guess what they say about God looking out for babies and fools is correct. Because he's the only reason why we didn't either wrecked out or get pulled over and jailed. But we made it to Prim in what seemed to be 15-20 minutes max. The funny thing is that once we got to Primm we stopped at another casino and guess what we did? Yep we sat down gambled some more and no sooner than we sat down there came the cocktail waitresses with the short skirts on serving us more alcohol. It's free what was I supposed to do refuse it? LoL

Well I'm sure we've survived death even more times than the 5 that I recalled here. And I'm sure that God willing we'll survive plenty more to come. The first 30 years have been a blast. I appreciate the opportunity to have been able to share them with you. And I look forward to another 30 plus some. All I can say is embrace 30 I hear it's not as bad as they say it is. But let me know how it's going as you know I will be joining you within the next 2 years. But we all know your life is just beginning again so make sure you hit the ground running come September 1st. Plus as Jay-Z said 30's the new 20. LoL

Love you Man.

--C-Recks--

No I in TEAM

Anyone that has at least one "so called" friend has probably at one time or another been put in this horrible situation before. I would venture to say that guys go through this more frequently than women. But this is a scenario that is played out every night of the week somewhere in the world. And unfortunately, the victim is usually unsuspecting that it is even about to occur. Well that is until he hears those five dreadful words.

Picture this scene. Two guys are out kicking it at a night club/lounge sitting at the bar. Guy #1 spots an attractive female and taps guy #2 and says "look at her she's bad I'm gonna go holla at her." Guy #2 agrees that she is fine, gives his support for his guy to go do his thing, and wishes him luck. Now guy #2 is simply finishing up his drink, scoping the scene at the club, and enjoying the music. He has no clue that he is about to be put into a situation that he was truly not prepared for. So guy #1 walks back over to the bar smiling. When his friend notices the Kool-Aid smile on his grill he says "you must have came up on her number or something." Guy #1 responds "no even better than that her and her girl wanna kick it after we leave the club." Guy #2 exclaims "For Real? What's her girl looking like?"

Okay let's press pause on this little scenario. I just want you to be prepared to hear the 5 words that I was referring to just above because they're about to come up in a second.

So, Guy #1 hesitates when his boy asks that question. He even has the nerve to pretend like he didn't hear what the question was over the loud music. So guy #2 repeats the question louder and moves closer to his friend's ear "WHAT'S HER GIRL LOOKING LIKE?" Again he hesitates. But finally he musters up the courage and says "well that's the thing man you're going to have to..." (For those of you that have been anticipating those five words here they come). "Take One For The Team."

Now coming to terms with a "Take one for the team" request will almost always follow a number of stages before final acceptance of this mission (if you so choose to accept it).

1.) First of all you're likely to yell or say "Come On Man!!", "WTF," or something similar to this as your initial reaction.

2.) Then a couple curse words will for sure follow. The taboo MF word is acceptable in this instance.

3.) Next, you will try to weasel your way out of it by saying something like "I just took one for the team last month." Or "I'm always taking one for the team when will it be your turn." However, since there are no set rules or parameters when it comes to "taking one for the team" none of this is even relevant.

4.) Here you will attempt to hype yourself up. You may think to yourself "maybe she's not that bad looking." Or "as long as she's at least a 4 I'm cool." In the case of the above example you may take a few shots of your favorite intoxicant to prepare yourself.

5.) Finally, you will just accept that this is your boy and you will go along with his hair brain scheme. However, once you say yes you will always close with "you owe me big time!!!"

So going back to our scenario, guy #2 has said yes to his friend's request and committed to entertaining the sidekick while his guy tries to make his move on the "good looking" female. However, once one is put in this position they never quite know what to expect. They can hope for the best all day, but should be prepared for the worse. So, guy #2 tries to probe his friend to tell him how the her buddy looks. Unfortunately, the only response he gets from his guy is "you gotta see it to believe it." At this point guy #2 hangs his head in disbelief thinking "what have I gotten myself into?" He swiftly orders about 3 shots of Patron from the bartender and as he takes the first shot the ladies walk up. He takes one look at his company for the remainder of the evening and downs the other 2 shots before introducing himself to the ladies. Yes that's right the buddy he's just gotten hooked up with is looking like a worse version of Wanda from In Living Color. And she's "Ready to Rock His World!!" LoL.

Now some of you that have been lucky to never be put in this position may be thinking along the lines of "it's just one night, so what's the big deal?" Or perhaps you may be thinking that it can't always be where the female turns out to be ugly right? Well because you've never been in this position is the only reason you'd ask such a question. But if you have been, then you know as well as I do that just like a D.N.A. Paternity Test it's 99.9% certain that taking one for the team = the ugly friend. Unfortunately, I have plenty of examples to pull from when it comes to "taking one for the team."

The problem with taking one for the team is that it's never something that you have the option of declining. That's the nature of the taking one for the team snakemove. It slithers up on you and the next thing you know you've been bitten with venom and have no choice but to suck the poison out. LoL. Do you still need further convincing? Okay I have another example of how you can just be thrown into taking one for the team without even expecting to.

One evening I stopped at my guy's crib and we just chilling and drinking I believe we were watching the game. So, midway through the game he takes a phone call and steps away and comes back to watch the game. I think nothing of him taking the phone call and the whole time continued to watch the game and drink my beer. Well about 45 minutes later another phone call comes in to my guy's phone. He then answers and says "I'm coming to the door now." So, me being the curious individual that I am I ask "you got your girl coming through or something man?" He responds "yeah and she got her cousin with her. I may need you to take one for the team," and laughs then walks downstairs to get the door.

Now this was/is my man 100 grand, but prior to this incident I had already been thrown into this situation with him before and the outcome was I fell into that 99.9% percent. So, I pretty much already knew what the deal was going to be here as well. Therefore, I quickly proceeded through the 5-stages that I previously mentioned. As I sat there I felt like R.Kelly on trapped in the Closet. I first looked out the window and realized I was on the 3rd floor so I couldn't jump. I tried to rack my brain for a way out of this but I was drawing a blank like a pencil with no lead. The next thing I know in walks my guy and behind him are his girl and lastly his girl's cousin. Now if she was attractive then this example would not even be valid. So let's just say my guy's girl got the better of the genes while her cousin got the hand me down genes (jeans) that were flooding with the holes and stains in them. LoL. Or as my brother mentioned (in the blog 100 Dials and Runnin') the proverbial "ugly stick" may have been used on her Rodney King style.

All I could do is laugh and say to myself "damn here we go again!!" So, I said hi to the ladies and went back to drinking my beer and watching the rest of the game. Honestly I happen to have met his girl already, but I didn't even pay attention to what the cousin's name was. When the game ended my guy was hugged up with his girl on one couch, I'm in a chair and her cousin is on the other couch. I proceed to the kitchen to get me another drink this time something stronger so I could hopefully get through the rest of this evening. But as I'm fixing my drink my guy comes up to me and once again says those words. "Man I need you to take one for the team." I quickly advised him that I was already doing that. He continues on stating "Naw I need you to take her somewhere. I immediately exclaimed "I don't care how much you pay or say I'm not taking her ass home!!" He says "No not to your crib just somewhere take her to get something to eat or something." Once again following the stages I said plenty of curse words, tried to get out of it, plotted a way out (which I found), and finally agreed to help him out. But as you'll see I had at least one last trick up my sleeve like a magician.

So, my guy tells the cousin to just follow my car and that her and I are going to kick it. Now I admit I was a little intoxicated and shouldn't have been driving. However, as I stated I had one last trick up my sleeve. So as we bent the corner and hopped on the highway, I quickly turned into Dale Earnhart Jr., Mario Andretti, Jimmie Johnson or any NASCAR driver you want to name. I never knew a 2001 Dodge Stratus couldn't travel so fast. Unfortunately for her, the 86 Buick Skylark she was driving couldn't quite keep up. LoL. Now I don't advocate driving intoxicated to anyone out there; However, under these circumstances you have to do what you have to do.

Although some may be thinking you should be ashamed of yourself leaving that poor girl like that. Well don't blame me. You can either blame the alcohol or blame my guy. LoL. Matter fact, as I stated in the blog (A Penny For My Thoughts) I'd blame the females (dimes) that only hang around with friends that look worse than them. If you would hang out with better looking friends then no would ever have to be put in a position to take one for the team just to get to you. LoL. But as for me ditching the unnamed cousin, well as they say when you're put in an adrenaline based situation your reaction is either fight or flight. And as manly as this chick looked she may have knocked my ass out Mike Tyson style. LoL. Therefore, I chose the latter of the 2 and dipped out.

The moral to that story is the same moral to the whole blog. It simply proves that at any point and time you can be put in a position to "Take One For the Team." If you want to avoid these situations I suggest that you hang around friends that are married and not single. Other than that there is always potential to be put in a "Take One For the Team" position.

Now I know I reported that 99.9% of the time taking one usually turns out bad. However, the other 0.1% of the time it is possible to have different results. The only person that I personally know that can testify to this is my brother. While in Phoenix, a friend of his casually called him and asked him to accompany him to meet a female he met off the Internet along with her friend. When he told me he was going to do this, I had to warn him that he may be in for it. Not only was this the first time his friend was meeting this girl, but he met her off the Internet. So there was already no telling if the female he was going to meet would even turn out to be the same as the one he had been seeing in the pictures online. Then, for my brother to be tagging along and taking one for the team there's really no telling what he was going to encounter as far as her buddy. However, as luck had he happen to fall into that 0.1% and that the girl he was set up with turned out to be Fine. Actually, she was better looking than the girl his friend was meeting. Who knew it was even possible? Imagine that!! But please please do not expect his outcome to be the same as your next take one for the team mission because they most likely will not be.

P.S. To the mystery unnamed cousin my apologies for leaving your Buick Skylark in the dust on the Dan Ryan Highway. However, if I was looking like the guy below you or none of you reading can lie and say you wouldn't have done the same thing if not worse. So, no hard feelings. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Gone But Not Forgotten

We had to pay our respects to the late great Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes.

Our respects and condolences go out to all the family, friends, and fans. You will be truly missed and although you are gone you're certainly not forgotten.

R.I.P. Bernie Mac

R.I.P. Isaac Hayes

A Penny For My Thoughts

Well I just couldn't resist such a topic. So I'm not trying to show up my brother on this one. My mind just thinks a little different than most. LoL. But you'll get what I'm saying as you continue to read. So with no further ado I give you ... A Penny For My Thoughts...

Or A Jay-Z said "It's Just My Thoughts Ladies and Gentlemen...

I'm no hacker or anything. But if I was I wouldn't waste my time coming up with ways to spam e-mail boxes or come up with stupid viruses that kill peoples hard drives. I'd come up with a way to take one penny from every bank account in the world without anyone finding out. Besides who's gonna miss a penny. Even the cheapest people in the world won't trip if they balance their check books a penny off. But with the millions of bank accounts world wide I may not be rich off pennies at a time but as they say "Slow Motion better than... LoL.*Disclosure- If someone commits such a crime I had nothing to do with planning or executing it. But if someone writes a book, movie or show based on this idea please view the date and time of this blog posting because I want my damn cut. LoL.*


Ladies please don't take this as a complaint because it's far from it. But here's one thing I never understand that you do. Why expose your cleavage on purpose but then get upset when a guy peeks at it. Now I'm not talking about staring like some sick pervert and saying you have great New York boobs like Dave Chapelle. However, I mean simply checking it out. Another comedian Jerry Seinfeld gave men the rule to think of cleavage as the sun. You look at it to make sure it's there and quickly turn from it but never stare at it. Lol. All I can say is men will be men it doesn't matter the instance, if cleavage is on the scene they're gonna sneak a peek. Therefore I warn you to be prepared if you are preparing to put your cleavage on display. Although it will never happen, but if I chose to wear a speedo I wouldn't be upset if women were checking out my package. Lol

I recently heard 50 cent's song 21 questions. On an attempt to catch him up I counted his questions and did you know his ass asked exactly 21 questions? That's not counting those by Nate Dogg on the hook by the way. It was actually 19 then he asked 2 final questions in the bridge of the song. But I'm sorry I think this particular question is a filler at best and shouldn't count. "Are you mad because I'm asking you 21 questions?" You know that shouldn't count. I'm just saying. Now that I think of it I hope this isn't a filler thought. LoL.

If I had one failed marriage where I jumped the broom, would I increase my odds of success on my next marriage by jumping a mop? Or what about a vacuum or dust buster? I know the reason behind the broom is based on a tradition. But don't they say if you do the same thing you get the same results? LoL.

I know the Summer Olympics start this week. And I know they traditionally run the torch across the world to get it to the lighting ceremony. Do you think any of the torch carriers ever thought this. "I'd be the man or woman if I was to light up a blunt and or square using this torch." I would hope it wasn't a black person that ever did such a thing. But unfortunately it only sounds like something a black person would not only comptemplate but actually do. And as ghetto as it is, I know if I saw it on TV after shaking my head and then laughing, I'd have to give whoever was bold enough to do it much props. LoL

Well so far that's a nickel let's see if I can get a dime out of you.

Lays potato chips' slogan is "betcha can't eat just one." But have you ever bought a bag of chips and it seems like it's maybe only 5 damn chips in the bag to begin with? The rest they pumped with air to give the appearance of being full. Then you feel like you would have been better off buying the little quarter bag of chips.

When a pimp retires from pimpin is there some sort of pimp pension? 401k pimp plan? Or does he just get a lifetime cut of what his hoes bring in even their social security checks? LoL. I mean it's just hard for me to imagine seeing an old pimp working in like Walmart or something as a greeter or collecting carts. As the saying goes guess "It's hard out here for a pimp."

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a lot of hats. Usually I'll buy hats to match certain outfits or whatever. But I was thinking this isn't an original concept. In fact if anyone has a grandma that attends or attended church then you know they are the originators. Mainly the older black grandmas, I don't know about you new school grandmas. LoL. But you know she never went to church without that matching hat I don't care how hot or cold it was outside.

I love new technology and all. But the one problem I have with Blue Tooth Head Sets is the fact they're getting smaller and smaller. Now when people use them you can't tell they're using a blue tooth. I know that's the point and that eventually they'll probably be reduced to the size of an ear bud. However, I know I'm not the only person that has seen or heard someone talking and it either seems like they're talking to themselves or to you. Then when you ask if they were talking to you then you're the one that feels stupid for not knowing they were on their cell phone. LoL.

Alright I'm finally at a dime. And last but not least I have a question for the dymes of the world. That's right the extraordinarily beautiful females out there. Is there any reason why your friends are never as fine as you? Or even close to your "10" status? Is there like some underground code that we men don't know about? It's just a big contrast to go from looking at you then ... your girl(s). Now I'm not calling anyone ugly because we're all beautiful in our own way right? But we men have our own speculations as to why you do this. Maybe it's too much competition and if you're trying to get the most attention you wouldn't put someone next to you that will take away from that. Reminds me of how a bride will put her brides maids in dresses not as eye catching and spectacular as her wedding dress. All I can say is don't be stingy if you're a dyme it's okay to let the occasional 7, 8, or even 9 hang with you. Hell you're still the top rung so be confident in your beauty enough to step your friend game up. LoL.

That's it for now make sure you pay your tab before you leave. Tips are appreciated. No checks, Money Orders or C.O.D.s. I do accept paypal though.

--C-Recks--