Text-ual Healing

Well its the New Year, and with the new year comes many wonderful things: mostly new beginnings, and next week, a new President. However with the New Year also comes one of the more dreaded aspects: new laws are taking effect all over the country. I just want to take a minute to express my displeasure with one in particular. I am currently in Los Angeles,California: home of palm trees and blond bitches. (According to Ice Cube, Lol). But as I stated in a previous blog, California is also the testing place for some of our more wacky laws that spread across the country. The newest is a law banning text messaging while driving. This encompasses Reading, composing, and sending text messages. The state of California rushed this particular law through very quickly. See, in 2006, the California legislature passed a law making it illegal to talk on your cell phone in any manner that was less than hands free. The law may have been passed in 2006, but it was not to take effect until July 1st, 2008. I guess upon its arrival over the summer, there must have been an increase in the number of individuals caught text messaging, because, as I remember it, sometime around August or September, the legislature decided that text messaging while driving was just as dangerous. BANNED! Law to take effect January 1st, 2009. And that's where we find ourselves today.

Now in the interest of intellectual honesty, I will admit that I am one of those people who reads, composes, and sends text messages while driving. In my defense however, I drive about 5 times as much as a normal person, maybe more. So its unrealistic to think that I would never find myself in a situation in which I have to read, write or send a text. Also, I have an incredible driving record. (In every state but Illinois. Lol. But that's another blog for another time). So what I'm saying is that whenever I'm driving, I'm also in my office. Meaning that text messages, emails and making/taking phone calls is an absolute must. And to this point, I've been nothing but safe while doing so.

That's my initial argument against the anti-texting ban. However, I have one main argument. We've all seen people driving doing something that I believe is infinitely more dangerous while driving. I'm speaking of people who drive while holding they damn dogs! I don't know about you, but this ranks in my top ten of all-time pet peeves (No pun intended). Now I believe it a fair comparison. Holding a dog while driving versus holding a cell phone while driving. The difference between the two is that the cell phone is an object that only responds to what I command it to do. A dog on the other hand is an animal that is has a mind of its own. Yes there are some dogs that are better trained than others, but that dog is still going to do what it wants to do at the end of the day. And no matter how well trained the dog is, it has absolutely no concept of what the driver is doing.

All that being said, you might ask yourself "why isn't holding an animal while driving illegal?" Seems like a proper question given the assault of cell phone usage the last 3-5 years. Well, in all fairness, the California legislature took up the issue in 2008. A bill was proposed, and passed. All it required was a signature from the governor. No Go! Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his seemingly limited wisdom, vetoed the bill as it came across his desk. Now this is the man who said “The simple fact is it’s dangerous to talk on your cell phone while driving. CHP data show that cell phones are the number one cause of distracted-driving accidents.” Hmmm, I may be able to concede that fact. But since you're doing such a bang up job Nanny Governator, why don't you take a stab at some other things that are dangerous while driving? Say, changing the song on the radio or your ipod, grabbing a bite to eat on the go, and definitely keeping them damn dogs out of the front seat of your car.

I'm not against passing laws to protect the masses. Sometimes government does have our greater good at heart. It just when you have such hypocrisy on the part of some law makers, you have to wonder what their actual motivations are. When it comes to these cell phone laws, I'm sure that the makers of different bluetooth and ear pieces have paid a pretty penny to different governments around the country to ensure that you'll no longer be able to get by with just a hand held. And to all you pooch holders: I guess until PETA starts bitching to the government about how you're endangering the welfare of your pets, and someone invents a doggy car seat, and then lobbies the government to pass a ban on holding your pets while driving, I guess you're in the clear. (Lord, please hasten that day)!


-DrizaDre-

Bad to the Phone

In the blog Nanny Government my brother mentioned the recent implementation of the hand held cell phone ban in the State of California. Now here in the city of Chicago, Illinois the law has been in place for a couple years already. I'm not one to break many laws but this is one law that I just can't seem to abide by. Recently, someone told me that text messaging while driving is also illegal and you can be ticketed for it just like you can talking on your hand held cell phone.

Now I do have a bluetooth head set. However, I honestly don't talk on the phone that much to even use it. Others that are on the phone a frequent amount of time usually just walk around with their bluetooth in their ear. But I don't. Therefore, if I happen to get a call or need to make a call while driving I will use my hand set. As for text messaging, well that's the purpose of even having the type of phone that I have which is a Side Kick 3. It is designed specifically for text messaging. The qwerty keyboard actually resembles that of a real keyboard. Also, the calling plan I have comes with unlimited text messages. The fact is I'm more likely to send a text message than make a phone call.

According to GSHA.org many of the states have used crash data to back up their reasons for having a ban on handheld cell phones. Therefore, I am not disputing the fact that the laws exist or whether or not driving and talking on a hand held cell phone is dangerous or not. I'm simply stating my case. I'm speaking for myself. This is how I would present my case if I ever got ticketed and had to go to court for using my cell phone and or text messaging.

First of all your honor that's a nice robe you have on. I know it's officially after Labor Day but does that come in white? LoL. I'm just kidding. Well as you know I was ticketed for driving while text messaging. I understand why the law is in place and by no means am I stating that I am above the law. However, I want to let the record show that me text messaging while driving is not at all a distraction to me operating my motor vehicle.

I'm sure you're wondering how is that possible? Well when I use my phone to send a text I don't have to look at the keyboard in order to type. The qwerty keyboard is exactly like a computer keyboard. I sit at a desk all day at work typing on a computer. So I know the location of the keys by memory. If you would like can demonstrate this for you. Now you're probably thinking that's fine that you don't have to look at the phone while you text but how do you drive when your hands are on your phone and not the steering wheel?

Well I'm glad you asked because I also have another unique talent that I can utilize while driving. I have the ability to drive/steer the car with my knee. I used to watch my father do this when I was younger and was fascinated by it. So it was only a matter of time until after years of driving that my brother and I were able to pick up on this nifty trick. Now I know you're probably picturing me driving with my knee and sending a text message and thinking OMG you're going to kill someone or yourself. But actually it's very safe if you know what you're doing. See my left knee steers the vehicle while my right foot covers the brake/gas.

Again, I can only speak for myself when I say I can safely and effectively operate a vehicle in this manner. Simply put I am a multi-tasker by nature and have the ability to do many things at once. Therefore, this ticket that I received stating I was driving while distracted is actually incorrect and should be overturned. In fact, I believe that there are things that distract drivers far more often than a cell phone. Also, those things could potentially cause accidents more frequent than using a cell phone while driving. I'd like to call into evidence a number of these items just to prove my point.

Exhibit A - Watching Porn

Now some may be thinking why would watching porn be a distraction while you're driving? Or you may be thinking that you have to be a damn freak to be watching porn while you're driving. Well when I say porn I'm not referring to watching it in my car. First of all I have no TVs in my car. Second of all it's definitely not that serious. However, those individuals that do think it's that serious should be required to tint their windows. The distraction comes in when you pull up behind them. And of course you're going to automatically be intrigued as to what their watching. Once you find out it's porn the likelihood of you trying to watch is inevitable. So the next thing you know you find yourself tailgating the car in front of you just to watch their TV. But as soon as they hit their brakes BAM!! you plow into their bumper.

Exhibit B - Eating

I remember once my mom told me that she was once riding somewhere with my brother. As he was driving he pulled out a plate of food to eat. Now finger food is one thing but apparently this was a Thanksgiving style plate of food. One that required a fork to eat. She described it as him holding the plate in one hand, the fork in the other, and driving with his knee. The ironic part was he happen to be driving a stick shift. Yet he was able to drive to perfection doing all that. However, there are others that are not as skilled. Therefore even eating a simple hamburger and fries can be a distraction. So, imagine someone driving along eating their lunch and as they take a bite of that burger ketchup squirts out onto their nice suit. The immediate reaction will be to look down and in that split second CRASH!! there is another rear end accident.

Exhibit C - Grooming

When people are running late for work in the morning they're liable to do any and everything thing to save time. Most of the time saving activities involve grooming of some sort. Anything from shaving, to teeth brushing, to hair combing. However, I must fault you ladies for this last distraction. Putting on make up while driving! Now come on. I've seen women take forever to put on make up in the bath room mirror. Not to mention it seems to take the precision of a surgeon to apply some of that stuff. How in the world you put on mascara without poking your damn eye out is beyond me. But the point is that there can be no way you can apply make up in the rear view or visor mirror and drive safely. That's just an accident waiting to happen.

Exhibit D -Pretty Women

Now of course I have no problem with pretty women by any stretch of the imagination. But any guy (straight guys that is) will have to admit that when pretty women will always be a distraction. It doesn't matter if they're driving in the car next to you, walking down the street, or if they happen to be your passenger. The point is that when a guy sees a pretty girl he will look and even stare if it can go unnoticed. I've seen guys (myself included) damn near break they neck to look at a good looking female that they drove past. I've also literally seen guys hang out the car window to look at, whistle at, and holla at a female. So bottom line is that good looking females are definitely a distraction to a male driver.

Exhibit E - Billboards

I know that the purpose of billboards are to grab attention. But most billboards are strategically placed along side highways. However, I will admit some are pretty distracting to drivers. I've seen plenty of billboards that caught my attention. The problem with some is that you have to do some reading to figure out what the billboard is advertising. So imagine traveling 65+ miles per hour and then passing a billboard that caught your eye and trying to figure out what it is says. Exactly!! It will take a lot of concentration. Also, it will divert your eyes from the road for a good amount of time. And if I was driving on this road and saw this billboard of Beyonce in a bikini I'd probably smash into the median trying to look at this sign. LoL.

Exhibit F - Bad Ass Kids

There is probably nothing worse than or more aggravating than a car full of kids. Now if those kids happen to be bad ass kids it's enough do "drive" any one crazy. But when you have 2 kids fighting, another crying, then another throwing stuff at you in the drivers seat I'd say that makes for a distraction. Some skilled/long armed parents have the ability to lay hands on their children (not in the biblical sense) while still being able to drive safely. But other than that you're probably one scream or cry away from slamming on the brakes and taking off your belt.

So, there you have it your honor. If you are going to ticket me for what you consider a distraction to my driving then I would say that you need to start ticketing me and every one else for things that are an even bigger distraction. The things I mentioned are only a few of probably many more that I could name. But you get the gist of what I'm saying. I throw myself on the mercy of the court and ask that this ticket be overturned. I rest my case.

Guilty or Not Guilty? Was my argument convincing enough? You be the judge. LoL

--C-Recks--

A Penny For My Thoughts

Well I just couldn't resist such a topic. So I'm not trying to show up my brother on this one. My mind just thinks a little different than most. LoL. But you'll get what I'm saying as you continue to read. So with no further ado I give you ... A Penny For My Thoughts...

Or A Jay-Z said "It's Just My Thoughts Ladies and Gentlemen...

I'm no hacker or anything. But if I was I wouldn't waste my time coming up with ways to spam e-mail boxes or come up with stupid viruses that kill peoples hard drives. I'd come up with a way to take one penny from every bank account in the world without anyone finding out. Besides who's gonna miss a penny. Even the cheapest people in the world won't trip if they balance their check books a penny off. But with the millions of bank accounts world wide I may not be rich off pennies at a time but as they say "Slow Motion better than... LoL.*Disclosure- If someone commits such a crime I had nothing to do with planning or executing it. But if someone writes a book, movie or show based on this idea please view the date and time of this blog posting because I want my damn cut. LoL.*


Ladies please don't take this as a complaint because it's far from it. But here's one thing I never understand that you do. Why expose your cleavage on purpose but then get upset when a guy peeks at it. Now I'm not talking about staring like some sick pervert and saying you have great New York boobs like Dave Chapelle. However, I mean simply checking it out. Another comedian Jerry Seinfeld gave men the rule to think of cleavage as the sun. You look at it to make sure it's there and quickly turn from it but never stare at it. Lol. All I can say is men will be men it doesn't matter the instance, if cleavage is on the scene they're gonna sneak a peek. Therefore I warn you to be prepared if you are preparing to put your cleavage on display. Although it will never happen, but if I chose to wear a speedo I wouldn't be upset if women were checking out my package. Lol

I recently heard 50 cent's song 21 questions. On an attempt to catch him up I counted his questions and did you know his ass asked exactly 21 questions? That's not counting those by Nate Dogg on the hook by the way. It was actually 19 then he asked 2 final questions in the bridge of the song. But I'm sorry I think this particular question is a filler at best and shouldn't count. "Are you mad because I'm asking you 21 questions?" You know that shouldn't count. I'm just saying. Now that I think of it I hope this isn't a filler thought. LoL.

If I had one failed marriage where I jumped the broom, would I increase my odds of success on my next marriage by jumping a mop? Or what about a vacuum or dust buster? I know the reason behind the broom is based on a tradition. But don't they say if you do the same thing you get the same results? LoL.

I know the Summer Olympics start this week. And I know they traditionally run the torch across the world to get it to the lighting ceremony. Do you think any of the torch carriers ever thought this. "I'd be the man or woman if I was to light up a blunt and or square using this torch." I would hope it wasn't a black person that ever did such a thing. But unfortunately it only sounds like something a black person would not only comptemplate but actually do. And as ghetto as it is, I know if I saw it on TV after shaking my head and then laughing, I'd have to give whoever was bold enough to do it much props. LoL

Well so far that's a nickel let's see if I can get a dime out of you.

Lays potato chips' slogan is "betcha can't eat just one." But have you ever bought a bag of chips and it seems like it's maybe only 5 damn chips in the bag to begin with? The rest they pumped with air to give the appearance of being full. Then you feel like you would have been better off buying the little quarter bag of chips.

When a pimp retires from pimpin is there some sort of pimp pension? 401k pimp plan? Or does he just get a lifetime cut of what his hoes bring in even their social security checks? LoL. I mean it's just hard for me to imagine seeing an old pimp working in like Walmart or something as a greeter or collecting carts. As the saying goes guess "It's hard out here for a pimp."

Anyone that knows me knows that I have a lot of hats. Usually I'll buy hats to match certain outfits or whatever. But I was thinking this isn't an original concept. In fact if anyone has a grandma that attends or attended church then you know they are the originators. Mainly the older black grandmas, I don't know about you new school grandmas. LoL. But you know she never went to church without that matching hat I don't care how hot or cold it was outside.

I love new technology and all. But the one problem I have with Blue Tooth Head Sets is the fact they're getting smaller and smaller. Now when people use them you can't tell they're using a blue tooth. I know that's the point and that eventually they'll probably be reduced to the size of an ear bud. However, I know I'm not the only person that has seen or heard someone talking and it either seems like they're talking to themselves or to you. Then when you ask if they were talking to you then you're the one that feels stupid for not knowing they were on their cell phone. LoL.

Alright I'm finally at a dime. And last but not least I have a question for the dymes of the world. That's right the extraordinarily beautiful females out there. Is there any reason why your friends are never as fine as you? Or even close to your "10" status? Is there like some underground code that we men don't know about? It's just a big contrast to go from looking at you then ... your girl(s). Now I'm not calling anyone ugly because we're all beautiful in our own way right? But we men have our own speculations as to why you do this. Maybe it's too much competition and if you're trying to get the most attention you wouldn't put someone next to you that will take away from that. Reminds me of how a bride will put her brides maids in dresses not as eye catching and spectacular as her wedding dress. All I can say is don't be stingy if you're a dyme it's okay to let the occasional 7, 8, or even 9 hang with you. Hell you're still the top rung so be confident in your beauty enough to step your friend game up. LoL.

That's it for now make sure you pay your tab before you leave. Tips are appreciated. No checks, Money Orders or C.O.D.s. I do accept paypal though.

--C-Recks--