Testimony Tuesday

Well we had to take a week off due to just being down right busy. But we're back with another Testimony Tuesday. I know it's still a day late because it's Wednesday, but at least we're back. We had quite a few e-mails over the break, and as usual we can't get to them all but here is the latest Tuesday Testimony.

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Bros,

Ok here's the situation. I got involved with this girl a few months back. She's a real laid back cool ass chick. Attractive, funny, smart, etc. all the good stuff a guy would want in a girl. Well you know how everyone has a deal breaker when it comes to relationships and dating? Well mines is dogs. I truly can't stand the filthy muts! And I always vowed I would never date a chick with a dog.

Well when I met this girl I didn't know at first about the dog but within a week of knowing her quickly found out. Well as you and any fellas know when it comes to a fine woman a guy will compromise certain things. So I decided as long as I don't have to be around the dog then it shouldn't really affect me. So I went ahead and lied about my dislike of dogs and significatnly downplayed how much I hated them. Basically she thought I was cool with them.

Well gradually as we progressed thinking that I didn't have a problem with dogs she started bring the dog around more and more. Long story short now I'm in too deep in dog shit! Literally!! She's got me dog sitting, walkiing the dog, cleaning up it's shit, playing with the damn thing. I'm trying not to go Mike Vick on the poor Dog but I don't know how much more I can take. I mean she's fine but if her and the dog are a package deal I may have to return to sender!

What should I do?

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Driza Dre: Well, I know this topic was near and dear to your heart considering you're such a dog lover. LOL

C-Recks: Lmao I feel his pain man! “But if you having girl problems I feel bad for you son.” Unfortunately, he’s probably wishin he was on some jay-z shit “99 problems but a bitch wasn't one.” Lol

DD: The dog right? Lol

CR: Lmao oh… yeah. Lol

DD: Man, the funny thing is that the whole time I'm reading it, I'm thinking, if she fine, this really ain't an issue. I mean, a whole lotta brothas have put up with a whole lot worse in the infinite pursuit of P. Suck it up, and do what you gotta do.

CR: Man I'm trying to think how fine a chick would have to be for me to put up would a damn dog though! I mean is she Rachel from Caribbean Rhythms fine or Rachel Ray fine? I know Rachel Ray is yo girl. Lol

DD: I know we always talk about dimes, but even a 5 that can cook is a 7 in my book. Food means a lot to me.

CR: Lol man I feel you on that but the dog is getting most of the kibbles and bits in this instance

DD: Its still just a dog. But I did think of a couple of instances in which this dog is a relationship killer.
1) If she puts any kind of clothing on the dog when she makes you walk it
2) If she kisses the dog on the mouth or asks you to kiss the dog on the mouth
3) If the pooch doesn't have its own bed cuz it sleeps in the bed with her

DD: Any of those, and its time to be out man

CR: Man those are all reasons I can't stand dogs and dog lovers! Lol

DD: Well not all dog owners are those kinda dog owners. Some actually treat their pets like pets

CR: Well my man didn't get into the specifics but its gotta be something major for him to be ready to leave a dime chick over it. So should he just man up and deal with the dog? Or should he come clean about his dislike for the mangy mut?

DD: Well, I would come clean about it. But only if he's willing to work with her on the dog issue. Cuz the dog ain't going away. And if he presents it on some its either him, or me stuff, brotha might as well pack his bags right now. But I am saying that if the chick and the relationship are worth it, this is a minor problem. She'll know that if he's worth keeping around, she needs to be more understanding of the fact that dogs really aren't his thing.

CR: Right she ain't pickin the nigga over her dog. If he comes clean he may just be able to get outta of some of the dog duties. But something tells me he may be killin himself like suicide if he says anything. She ain't gone appreciate him lying to get wit her and furthermore won't appreciate him not liking her dog.

DD: It could go that way, but I kinda doubt it will

CR: Well more than anything like you've said guys have had to endure far worse things to stay with a dyme so even from a dog hater I agree this is minor to be with dime status. I'm sure another nigga with an alergy to dogs would gladly deal with this dude's chick and her dog any given day.

CR: So that's just some food for thought for him to chew on.

DD: Man, tis better to have a fine chick with a dog than to have to settle for a chick that looks like one. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

CR: Lmao !! You a fool 4 that one, But u 4sho right.

DD: Well that's it in a nut shell for me. If the relationship is worth it, you gotta take the chance, and speak your peace. And see where it goes from there

CR: Man dimes don't come too frequent to the average guy. So I say count your blessings and endure whatever minor pain you must in order to keep her.

DD: Cuz if you don't, some other dog will!

CR: Exactly it's "dog eat dog" And as they say "Every dog has his day," so enjoy yours while it lasts. **DMX Bark**

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Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.

--C-Recks--

--Driza Dre--

Text-ual Healing

Well its the New Year, and with the new year comes many wonderful things: mostly new beginnings, and next week, a new President. However with the New Year also comes one of the more dreaded aspects: new laws are taking effect all over the country. I just want to take a minute to express my displeasure with one in particular. I am currently in Los Angeles,California: home of palm trees and blond bitches. (According to Ice Cube, Lol). But as I stated in a previous blog, California is also the testing place for some of our more wacky laws that spread across the country. The newest is a law banning text messaging while driving. This encompasses Reading, composing, and sending text messages. The state of California rushed this particular law through very quickly. See, in 2006, the California legislature passed a law making it illegal to talk on your cell phone in any manner that was less than hands free. The law may have been passed in 2006, but it was not to take effect until July 1st, 2008. I guess upon its arrival over the summer, there must have been an increase in the number of individuals caught text messaging, because, as I remember it, sometime around August or September, the legislature decided that text messaging while driving was just as dangerous. BANNED! Law to take effect January 1st, 2009. And that's where we find ourselves today.

Now in the interest of intellectual honesty, I will admit that I am one of those people who reads, composes, and sends text messages while driving. In my defense however, I drive about 5 times as much as a normal person, maybe more. So its unrealistic to think that I would never find myself in a situation in which I have to read, write or send a text. Also, I have an incredible driving record. (In every state but Illinois. Lol. But that's another blog for another time). So what I'm saying is that whenever I'm driving, I'm also in my office. Meaning that text messages, emails and making/taking phone calls is an absolute must. And to this point, I've been nothing but safe while doing so.

That's my initial argument against the anti-texting ban. However, I have one main argument. We've all seen people driving doing something that I believe is infinitely more dangerous while driving. I'm speaking of people who drive while holding they damn dogs! I don't know about you, but this ranks in my top ten of all-time pet peeves (No pun intended). Now I believe it a fair comparison. Holding a dog while driving versus holding a cell phone while driving. The difference between the two is that the cell phone is an object that only responds to what I command it to do. A dog on the other hand is an animal that is has a mind of its own. Yes there are some dogs that are better trained than others, but that dog is still going to do what it wants to do at the end of the day. And no matter how well trained the dog is, it has absolutely no concept of what the driver is doing.

All that being said, you might ask yourself "why isn't holding an animal while driving illegal?" Seems like a proper question given the assault of cell phone usage the last 3-5 years. Well, in all fairness, the California legislature took up the issue in 2008. A bill was proposed, and passed. All it required was a signature from the governor. No Go! Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, in his seemingly limited wisdom, vetoed the bill as it came across his desk. Now this is the man who said “The simple fact is it’s dangerous to talk on your cell phone while driving. CHP data show that cell phones are the number one cause of distracted-driving accidents.” Hmmm, I may be able to concede that fact. But since you're doing such a bang up job Nanny Governator, why don't you take a stab at some other things that are dangerous while driving? Say, changing the song on the radio or your ipod, grabbing a bite to eat on the go, and definitely keeping them damn dogs out of the front seat of your car.

I'm not against passing laws to protect the masses. Sometimes government does have our greater good at heart. It just when you have such hypocrisy on the part of some law makers, you have to wonder what their actual motivations are. When it comes to these cell phone laws, I'm sure that the makers of different bluetooth and ear pieces have paid a pretty penny to different governments around the country to ensure that you'll no longer be able to get by with just a hand held. And to all you pooch holders: I guess until PETA starts bitching to the government about how you're endangering the welfare of your pets, and someone invents a doggy car seat, and then lobbies the government to pass a ban on holding your pets while driving, I guess you're in the clear. (Lord, please hasten that day)!


-DrizaDre-

A Dog Day Morning

No offense to any animal lovers or anyone that may work for PETA or PAWS or something, but I'm going to start this off by saying something. I hate dogs! Well not exactly hate, I know that's a strong word. But I don't like them and or have a strong disregard for them.

I know that may sound random as hell, but here's what prompted me to say this. I decided to come to work and do some overtime on this past Saturday morning. There were a few of us in the office working. Well for some damn reason my manager chooses to bring her dog to work with her on Saturdays sometimes. Don't ask me why please don't. But anyways I over heard some of the coworkers talking about the manager is coming in and bringing her dog. I say "she must of thought I wasn't coming in because I told her once about that dog."

On a previous Saturday about a year or so ago I'm sitting at my desk working and I hear some damn barking. Next thing you know this 70lb or so canine runs past our office. I'm like WTF? Sounding like the song "Who Let the dogs loose?" *Woof Woof Woof Woof* Then the dog proceeds to come in our office and is sniffing around. Then he comes up to me. I proceeded to say "Can you please get your Dog? I don't do dogs." That was the nicest I could put it considering it was my manager and I was at work. Had I been in the streets I may have said "You better get this MF-ing dog the hell away from me." So I think I was pretty nice about it considering. lol.

Well the manager then says "I will keep him up front with me don't worry." So, I mumbled under my breath oh "I'm not worried." She then does something unthinkable. She picks the dog up and is holding it as if it's a baby. If you could see her with this bag ass 70+ lb. dog in her arms patting it on it's back and rocking it, you would have had the same WTF look on your face. She then proceeds to talk in baby talk to the dog saying, "you have to stay out here because he doesn't like you it's okay girl mommy still wuvs you." Now I never even talked baby talk to my son when he was a baby. Me and his mom both agreed that was a no no! So I couldn't fathom a grown ass woman talking to a dog in baby talk. I guess like Jay-Z said "I'm like a dog I don't speak but I understand, where my dogs at..."

Well when the manager came in this past Saturday there was no dog with her. I guess someone must've got her the message that I was in the office. Now I'm sure some of you are reading and asking yourself what's so wrong with a dog? Why don't you like them? I will say this in their defense. I don't really like any pets. However, if I'm ever ballin' and on MTV Cribs the only pets I will have are some fish. You know those tight ass fish tanks the stars usually have. But I'll have enough money to pay someone to care for it, so I won't be the one changing the water and all that. lol. But just so you know I don't have a fear of dogs or animals, nor am I allergic to them. I simply don't understand what all the hype over them is. Man's best friend? I think not. I already have a best friend. Nevertheless, the main reason I don't care for them is because there are just some things that I will never get when it comes to people and their dogs. Below you will find my list of those things.

Treating dogs like kids

I understand that not everyone has children. In the case of my manager she does not. Therefore, her dog is like her child. Although some treat their dogs as a member of the family, it's not a child. Come on there is a big difference. When it's cold outside I make sure I dress my son warmly so he doesn't get sick. Whenever I see a dog wearing a sweater I just never understand it. I mean I'm not the smartest person in the world, but didn't God give certain animals fur for a reason? And isn't that so that they can withstand extreme temperatures? I mean I never turned past the discovery channel and saw a polar bear rockin a hoodie or a penguin in a scarf. Why? Because God created them to withstand the cold. I know it's more about the dog owner than the dog being cold. They think it's cute. No difference when parents dress their kids up in funny clothes when they're babies. On babies it's cute but on a dog? Come on now.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Why on earth you would let a dog sleep in the bed with you is beyond me. I've known and heard of couples that literally have their dog sleeping in between them. Most dogs are outside at some point in the day, so unless you put shoes on them too they can't be too clean. Also, they s**t and don't wipe. And you mean to tell me you're comfortable with waking up to a dog's ass in your face? Or what about when you and your significant other want turn over in the middle of the night and get a little frisky? You may feel someone licking your face, but it may not be the person you want. LoL.

Kissing the Dog

Speaking of licking your face. I would have to say that a dog licking your face has got to be one of the most disgusting things ever. I don't know if it's just a myth portrayed on TV or not, but don't dogs drink from the toilet? If so why the hell would you want that same tongue licking you in your mouth? I mean really think about it. If you an absolutely fine (wo)man came up to you and asked can they french kiss you right now, most would answer Yes! But what if they said but just so you know I just drank water out of a toilet? I highly doubt most would still want that kiss. So how is a dog any better or cleaner in that respect?


Pick it Up Pick it Up

Now I know that most dog owners adhere to this law and clean up after their pets handle their business. However, those that don't deserve more than a fine if caught. Why should I have to be subjected to possibly stepping in dog s**t if I walk through some grass? I mean when my son was a baby I threw his stinky pampers in the trash not on the ground for someone else to pick up or step in.

Doggy Day Care
I recently overheard a co-worker saying something to another employee about a doggy day care. Apparently one of the amenities of this Doggy Hotel is that they have a streaming web cam available so that you can view your dog on-line at any time. Sounds like a great idea right? Well I went on the site link above to investigate how much such a service would cost. How about the fees are $35 a day or $460 a month. Now as a parent I can only compare this to the cost of day care for children. Which can average from $600 a month or more depending on the facility. I don't know about anyone else but I haven't even heard of a kid's daycare having such a service. I'm sure that many parents would love to be able to view what goes on in their day care facilitiy while their at work. But again that's one of my problems with dogs, some people treat them equal to or better than humans. Some of these doggy hotels even offer traditional spa services such as aroma therapeutic massages and pawdicures. Can a dog really get that stressed out that they need a massage? You have to be kidding me!

Michael Vick
Finally, speaking of Dogs getting treated better than humans... You should have known it was coming when I started talking about the subject of dogs. But we all know the story about Michael Vick and his sentencing to 23 months in Federal prison for his role in the dog fighting conspiracy. I'm not trying to say that what Vick and his co-conspirators did was right. It was definitely illegal and absolutely immoral. And as much as I don't like dogs I definitely wouldn't want to see any animal abused or neglected. However, the problem I have with the Michael Vick situation is that to me it seems that the dogs have been somehow humanized. I mean how many cases have we seen and heard of where a terrible crime has been committed, but the offender(s) are sentenced to little or no time? Take for instance the case of a man that was convicted of only 60 days of jail time in Vermont back in 2006. Believe it or not the man was found guilty of having sexual contact with a 6 year old girl over the course of 4 years. I know that different states have different laws, but 60 damn Days? WTF? You mean to tell me that dog fighting is a worse crime than sexually assaulting a child? That's just a damn shame. It's just a dog!!

Well I could go on and on about expensive Vet bills, dog whisperers, and buying gifts for dogs, but I think you get my point by now. My dislike for dogs isn't from any tragic experience as a kid or anything like that. I just can't for the life of me comprehend why some people go to certain extremes for their dogs. It's fine to have a dog but I say please treat them as a dog not like a human. They're pets and should stay in a pets place.

--C-Recks--

Man Up!!! Part 4

TGIF, it's Friday so you know what that means. Yes the end of the week of course but it also means that we're coming back at you with more Man Ups. Nothing has changed except a few more Man Ups to add to the list. As usual the same rules still apply. Remember this blog represents what we consider to be Man Up Rules. So, each week we'll add to the list just based off of our observations and perspectives. So be sure to check back weekly. Note: Most rules apply to men/boys age 13 and older (except where noted). Also, the rules are in no particular order.



Man Up Rule #19: When 2 or more men are listening to the radio or a CD (with no females present) and a slow song or love song comes on you're only left with 3 options: 1.) Either immediately turn the station or switch to the next song on the CD. 2.) Turn down volume completely until the song has gone off. 3.) Begin to speak about a manly subject such as sports, while making sure you're loud enough to drown out the music. However, anyone caught singing the song in this instance is in total violation!!

Man Up Rule #20: We're not dog owners, but if you're a man that owns a dog you should make sure that the dog isn't a poodle or anything similar. We're not saying it has to be a Pitbull, Rottweiler or Doberman, but a poodle or anything equivalent is definitely a violation.




Man Up Rule #21: If you're going to use an umbrella to shield yourself from the rain or sun please be observant of the color(s) of the umbrella (Image 1). If this is the only umbrella available then you are to either seek shelter until the rain stops or risk getting drenched by going without an umbrella. Also when it comes to umbrellas we're still disturbed at having another man hold your umbrella for you (Image 2). So until further notice please hold your own umbrella or if you must have someone hold it make sure it's a female.

(1)

(2)

To Be Continued...

Brothers' Perspective


--C-Recks--

--DrizaDre--