Wednesday, November 4, 2009

In Grand (father) Fashion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grandparents are a special breed. They all have their little quirks, sayings, and what nots, that through the years first get on your nerves, but then grow to be some of the staples that you live your life by. On this November 4th, I would like to honor my Grandfather's 70th birthday by introducing you to some of his greatest sayings.

1) "Well I'ma tell you like this" - Most of Grandfather's pearls of wisdom/stories normally start with this phrase. When you hear this, you might as well settle in. The only bad part about hearing this is when you've come to him with what you feel is an important problem. If you're hype is any manner, its pretty deflating to have him come back with that.

2) "Every closed eye ain't sleep" - This one is a classic. In order for you to understand this one, you must know that my Grandfather hasn't slept through the night probably since the Kennedy Administration. So when as a kid I would always hear him say this, I always thought it was really just a threat. Well that was until my brother and I tried to be slick and sneak into the kitchen for late night peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Grandfather swooped in on us like an owl on a three legged mouse. That night, I truly learned the meaning of this saying.

3) "Jaws tight like Dick's hat band" - Well this is probably how my Grandfather would have described the look on me and my brother's faces when he busted us. I don't know who Dick is, but I do know that we were pretty salty that night, so Dick wears a seriously tight hat. I've always wondered if Dick was just somebody my Grandfather knew, or if it was a well known fact that Dick had a tight hat band.

4) "Joe Sausage Head" - To be referred to as a Joe Sausage Head was pretty severe. If Grandfather called someone this, they generally didn't have much, if any, sense. The funny thing about this saying is that until a co-worker of mine used the term last year, I thought my Grandfather was the only one who said it.

5) "Neither Vip nor Vop" - I have no idea what the hell this means. But when Grandfather says it, its with so much authority, that it almost makes sense.

6) "Like 40 going north" - In case you guys don't know, I drive for a living. I have damn near been on every highway and byway in America. But both US 40 and Interstate 40 travel east and west. So I have yet to figure out what 40 he's referring to. I'm not trying to prove Grandfather wrong, I'm just trying to understand what my man is referring to.

7) "More (Blank) than Carter had little liver pills" - This was another saying that for the longest time, I just took Grandfather at his word. I had no idea who the hell Carter was. With the advent of the internet, I finally decided to look up Carter and his little liver pills. Low and behold, I finally found the information. Carter wasn't a person, per se, but instead a company that made laxitives. Apparently they must've done big business back in the day cuz Grandfather is still referring to them now.

So those are probably the 7 most classic sayings from my Grandfather. I share them with you because though he's not your Grandfather, I'm sure your grandparents have some good saying of their own. I invite you to share with the blogosphere some of your grandparent's sayings. I'm proposing that we keep a Grandparents dictionary. These 7 are enshrined with my Grandmother saying "Flusterated, and Testes (That's the plural of test to her, my girl's grandfather who says "Search" (That's church to everyone else), and My Grandfather John's singing "Every day, every hour of the day", and the ultra classic "Summage". (A summage is a son of a bitch. I guess that's just how it was said in Mississippi).

To my Grandfather. Happy Birthday Grandfather. May you always know that though you might not have thought we were listening, WE WERE! And as we've gotten older, your words have never been truer. We Love you, and hope you're around for many more of these birthday posts. Enjoy your 70th. Next time I'm in Chicago, the cognac is on me! Lol