Friday, May 30, 2008

Highway to H-E-L-L!!!

Ah yes, its that time of year again. Summertime you say? Well, partially correct. But the season I speak of is construction season! (Was that a collective groan I heard?)Well, this construction season has an added bonus to it this year. Oh yes, gas prices that would challenge Jesus to not say Goddammit should he go to fill up! But this blog entry will not be a "Whoa is me" fest. No, this entry is my opportunity to tell you about a place that I've always said was the construction capitol of America. Yes, my hometown of Chicago, Illinois.

I have been across the United States, and I have not been anywhere that is as perpetually under construction as Chicago is.So what is the purpose of road construction? Your guess is as good as mine. See, for my 29 years on this earth, the city of Chicago has more or less pretty much looked the same. Sure, downtown could be considered Manhattan by Lake Michigan (Urban Gentrification at its best). But a lot of the neighborhoods still look as they did when Dr. King decided that the west side was the best side, and moved his family there in 1966.

So again I ask, what is the purpose of road construction? To build or improve a roadway? Sure, in most places that would be a correct answer. But this is Chicago, and in Chicago, road construction is to placate both government and the citizenry. So every March or April, you start seeing the familiar orange barrels showing up on your local roadway. They stick around until September or October, and then go into hibernation until Pulaski day rolls around again. And that road that they were working on? Well, lets just say that if you're lucky, once the orange cones are removed, it might last as long as a white guy fighting Mike Tyson.
So you may be asking yourself "well how does something like that placate both government and the citizenry"? Well its simple my friends. In this world, the big money is not found in curing a damn thing. You make big money by doing just enough to keep people living with whatever their particular ailment happens to be. So as it relates to road construction, instead of spending 250 million dollars to put down the state of the art roadway that may require an additional 1 million dollars of maintenance per year,(the equivalence of a complete face lift) they opt for the annual 50-75 million dollar road resurfacing (or the botox treatment).

Do the math with me. After 10 years, the state of the art roadway has only cost 259 million dollars. (250 million, plus 9 years of maintenance). But the annual 50 million dollar resurfacing in that same span will cost 500 million dollars.

Now you might be asking yourself, well isn't it in our best interest to spend less? Spend the 259 and save ourselves 241 million. And to that I say, why are you thinking logically? This is Chicago. We are the city of Al Capone, Larry Hoover, and the biggest, baddest gangsta of them all, Richard Daley! And what do gangstas do, they run rackets. So here's one of his.

Lets say that Lake Shore Drive is starting to get a little bumpy. More than what your average citizen is comfortable with stomaching. So through a lengthy process, money is allocated towards fixing Lake Shore Drive. Sure, the city of Chicago may kick in some of that dough, but in large part, the funds will be coming from our dear old Uncle in Washington. (Thank God for Bobby Rush, Jesse Jackson Jr., Barack Obama and Dick Durbin).

So now you're probably gonna ask yourself, what's wrong with that? That's what our tax dollars are for. Well in part you are correct. But if you're buying that every single dollar that comes in goes towards its stated purpose, then might I also interest you in buying a boat. Its only been used once, its already in the water. They made a movie about it, and I'd be willing to let it go for only ten grand. (I accept cash, checks and paypal).

And to continue the racket, which construction companies get those lucrative contracts? Well I'm sure that you'll find that those companies are politically connected. You gotta pay to play. Oh, and the workers who will be doing the work? Well of course they pay taxes, and spend the money here in the city of Chicago, so that helps increase the city caufers as well. Ah yes, the circle of life, just as our Lord envisioned it!

Now, I do want to give credit where credit is due. Again, I am 29 years old. And for the first 28 years, the Dan Ryan Expressway was the kind of construction boondoggle that I described previous. In the winter time snow, ice, salt and snow plows would tear parts of the road into an obstacle course for for your shocks, rims and tires! Come March, the road was patched up, and inevitably, every winter it would return its semi-natural state. Concrete Swiss cheese.
Well, like a Hollywood starlet edging ever closer to 25, the Dan Ryan got a complete makeover. And it is nice! Props to the city for finally upgrading to Platinum status. I was tired of driving from the Kennedy and transitioning to the Ryan, and feeling like somebody from the south side had obviously pimp slapped someone in city hall for us to be stuck with such a debacle!

So to my city from your prodigal son. Unfortunately, we get it. We know what's going on. You're not fooling anyone. All we ask is that you spread it around. South side should get as much as north. And west side definitely needs just as much as downtown. (Hell I don't like going to the west side). And last but not least, slow down in the work zones, give 'em a brake! (Plus the construction cameras are back).

P.S. About that boat, holla at ya boy!--drizadre

Thursday, May 29, 2008

"Hard for a Pimp?"

"Is Pimpin Easy?"

The simple yet complex question was posed by Dave Chappelle on his "I Know Black People" Skit.

Well it got me thinking with gas prices at an all-time high is pimpin still easy? So I did a little research and came across some recent articles.

Well judging from the numerous news articles I was able to find all taking place within the last few months apparently pimpin is still easy. Okay I get it you already know you're getting "screwed" at the gas pump so why not fill up and go find someone to "screw" in return. Well regardless of the logic, looks like although unemployment rates may be increasing, the world's oldest profession is still thriving.

We all saw the public unraveling of former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer's political career due to his involvement with a prostitute. .
I guess the Internet has now made it "easier" for some to seek out prostitutes by surfing sites like as opposed to driving around desolate truck stops and drug infested street corners. I myself have never had to go that route so I don't necessarily understand the draw of prostitution but hey to each their own.

My question is this though, In today's times Is the role of the pimp still necessary? Wouldn't it be easier and more profitable to be "self-employed?" I mean when strippers go to parties and do their thing they hire their own body guard to keep look for out them. And isn't that the supposed role of the pimp anyway? Well hiring a body guard sounds like the better choice to me, I mean the "pimp slap" seems a bit much to endure when you're doing all the "hard work."

So the age old question still lingers should prostitution be legal? Some say it's an equal transaction between 2 parties no different than buying any other service and the only ones at risk are the 2 parties. Others say it's just immoral and fuels other illegal and immoral behavior such as drug use. Well I could very well play devil's advocate, but hey I say that's for the law makers to decide. I'm sure if they could find a way to tax it and make it justifiable then it would be legal. I think the same about drugs. But basically, I feel like people are going to do what ultimately pleases them. And if that means a "John" would risk possibly going to jail, catching an STD or if he has one losing his wife/family to have sex with a prostitute then that's their business. And I guess on the other end if a prostitute wants to stand on street corners hopping in and out of cars in the early morning hours risking going to jail, catching an STD, and or getting hurt by a "john" or their "pimp" then who am I to judge.

I would just say it's obvious who has it "harder" and I doubt it's the pimp. When was the last time you saw a prostitute driving a Rolls-Royce, sporting a fancy fur coat, diamond and gold jewelry, a tailored "pimp" suit, gators, and a diamond studded (goblet) "pimp cup" to sip cristal from? ...still thinking? No need to rack your brain. Don't worry you'll come up with the same answer as me. It's NEVER!! So again, I doubt if it's that hard out there for a pimp.

Or perhaps we only associate pimpin with those successful pimps that we see and hear about on TV i.e. the Bishop Don Juans of the pimp game. But maybe just maybe there are some pimps out there that are struggling. You know only enough dough to put 2 rims on his caddy instead of all 4 but the rest are on layaway, putting $2 in the gas tank, pawning his jewelry, ducking the repo man, etc... Maybe it's harder than we think. I guess the unfortunate part on it being hard out here for a pimp is that I'm sure it makes it even harder on the prostitute.

I don't know, but these are just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen!!

Pimp Pimp Hooray!!

C-Recks Out!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Paint the White House "Barack"

"When you win, sometimes you really loseAnd sometimes when you lose, you really win"
Rosie Perez in White Men Can't Jump

In the interest of intellectual honesty, I want to start by saying that the following words are not written with any formal training in politics. However, they are rooted in 29 years that I've spent on Earth as a black man.

Barack Obama will be the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee! I repeat, Barack Obama will be the Democratic Vice-Presidential nominee.

Is anyone else suspicious of Hillary's refusal to concede victory? I understand that they have a particular number of delegates that each person has to get to offically capture the nomination. 2,026 . But nobody believes that Hillary has a snow ball's chance at getting to 2025.

So it sounds like Barack is golden right? As they've been calling him, the presumptive nominee, right? Well let me equate this to sports for you. Right now, its about 2 minutes left in the game, and Barack is ahead by 2 touchdowns, and has the ball. Hillary is out of timeouts. So Barack should just be able to kneel his way to the victory.

Well Obama fans, prepare yourselves for a stunning defeat. Here's what my gut says.
The final primaries are on June 3rd, and in all likelyhood, neither Hillary nor Barack will have the necessary 2026. Which opens up what is called a brokered convention.
Well for those of you who are politically unaware, that is where I suspect that Hillary Clinton and her minions will put on the fight of her life. And I believe she will emegre victorious.

Here's why.

As hot as Barack was at one point, winning 10 consecutive elections between February 9th and February 19th, those contests will not help him at all. The states that will decide his fate will have been Pennsylvania, Kentucky and West Virginia.

Barack has lost in those 3 states by what could be considered a large number. WV and KY by around 30%. Many of the pundits say that middle class white voters went overwhelmingly for Hillary, partly as a consequence for the whole Jeremiah Wright controversy.

However, it will be the results from those states in which Hillary will mount her vigorous comeback. She will argue that working class whites won't vote for Barack in the General Election, virtually gift wraping the Presidency to John McCain, should the party go through with nominating Barack. (If this were sports, lets just say that Obama fumbled the ball, and Hillary recovered and ran it back for a touchdown. She's still down 7 though).

She will find some way to convince the delegates that blacks will vote for Barack, even if its as the VP. Maybe not in as large a number as in the primaries, but in far larger numbers than in typical elections. (Ok sports fans, Hillary just recovered the onside kick).

The last thing that I believe will take place is that there will be some serious arm twisting being done by Hillary and the rest of the Clinton Machine. The likes of which, I don't believe that Barack will be able to withstand. I believe they will find a way to convince him that its just not his time yet. Sit back and be VP for 8 years. You'll be able to learn, gain experience and in 8 years, you'll be primed for the White House. Hell, he'll even have the blessing and backing of the Clinton Machine.(And that's it, the Hail Mary touchdown pass with the 2 point conversion).
Hillary Clinton wins in dramatic fashion!

Now I want to go on record and say that I predicted more than a year ago that the Democratic ticket would wind up being Hillary-Obama. So maybe this scenario would just be fufilling my own prediction. And there were times that I thought Barack might pull it off, hell I voted for him. However, slowly but surely, Hillary's hanging on. I can't call that a coincidence. Can You?


Saturday, May 17, 2008

Text and E-Mail Forwards...

Okay I know you all either get them or some of you are the annoying people that send them. Yes I'm talking about those damn e-mail and text message forwards. I can't even count how many times a day I get these damn things. And to add insult to injury I'm one of the lucky people that has a smart phone so I get double the exposure. (Lucky Me).

What's the purpose though? I mean yes a select few are funny. I don't mind those. But I hate the ones that come with instructions followed by some warning about if you don't forward them.

"Send this to 10 people or you'll have bad sex for the next 10 years."

"Send this to 10 people or you'll die."

"Send this to 10 people or you're going to hell."

I mean wtf??? I've never heard this one in the commandments. "Thou shalt not delete forwarded text messages."

The e-mails are probably worse. Filling up my inbox worse than spam. And they're longer who has time to read 20 forwarded e-mails from work. I have work to do dammit!! At least with spam you can click the unsubscribe button and stop em. But these come from people I know and love. If you love me why annoy me? Don't worry I return the love with each click of the delete button. Lol.

My question is this. Who's the person that originates these things. Who sits and thinks of some of this stuff? Who really has the time? I don't even have the time to forward them to the 10 people. I would like to one day though and send it out to one person and see if it ever comes back from someone other than that person. It would be something stupid as hell. Here just thought of one.

"This text message is for all of you that love to be annoyed, here's another meaningless message just because I have nothing better to do. If you're smart you'll just delete this. But if you don't forward you'll receive 200 more annoying forwards today."

Sound about right? Hell it may get around the world if I send it. So Look for it in an e-mail box near you.

C-Recks out!!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Baby Mamma's Day

Well we all know today is Mother's Day. And I'm sure we've all done what we could to honor our moms and grandmothers and for those honored to have them still around great grand mothers. However, I'm curious to find out about a section of mothers sometimes overlooked.
Yes I'm speaking of the infamous Baby Mama's. No disrespect by the term as some accept it and others detest it. But you get what I mean. I'm talking about that growing section of women whom are not married nor with the father of their child(ren). And the opposite would be baby daddies or fathers. So I would actually fit the baby's dad category.

But after the definitions my question is how do we honor our baby mama's as baby's dads? I mean there are many levels of the baby mama relationship. For instance some of ya'll probably can't stand your baby mama (bm) and wouldn't stop your truck if she was in the middle of the road. Others still hittin they baby mama's (bms) even though you're not together, others fit my category which is that you're just cool with your bm and want to maintain that status no matter what.

So what do you do? I already expressed which category I fit in. However, I think that what I do is the best answer despite which category of bm yours falls in. I simply buy a card from my child (if they're old enough let them sign it) and also let your child pick out a gift for their mother. Kids don't go too overboard so you're not hurting your wallet.

However, what you're actually doing is this. If you're in the category of you can't stand your bm you're moving towards hopefully a more peaceful relationship, hell this can be a peace offering. Even the indians offered the peace pipe. Lol. If you're in the category of you're still hittin that well this will insure you'll get to keep hittin it without having to commit to her. And lastly if you're in my category where everything is all good with you and your bm well this will insure all thing remain the same and not waver too much to either side.

Now this is just my advice and what I do to each his own but it's been working for me for a few years so far so I'm going to keep rolling with it. But feel free to suggest your own ideas.

Happy Baby Mama's Day to all the baby mamas out there!! And baby's dads hold it down.