Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 Rap Up here's the link if it's easier.

Check out the video above I put together to close out 2008. I know the rapper Skillz does one every year, so this year I decided to do my own. This is the first time I ever did a youtube video or something like this and I did it all on my new laptop I got for Christmas (thanks moms/bro). But excuse the low budget quality of the video/song. I didn't have time to hit the studio to do this so adjust your speakers accordingly. lol. Below are the lyrics to the song for all those that are lyrically intuitive. Peace to my mans Kaos on the beat.

Have a Happy and safe New Year everybody!


First of all this year been krazy/speakin of krazy Britney Spears don't need no more babies/ it just amaze me/ between paparazzi stunts/ showin her twat and cunt/ nobody stopped her once/ blunts/drugs, gettin drunk and gettin wasted/ the shaved head/ legal bouts with K-Fed/ Like Smokey said/ you got knocked the fuck out/ yeah I'm talkin bout Suge guess he aint that tough now/ Now Mike Vick/ Don't get me started/ making millions and dog fightin' that's just retarded/ bark...shit/ don't fuck with dogs unless they bite/ pay your taxes, take advice from Wesley Snipes/ Remy Ma got 6 years tried to Wedd in the Big House/ Papoose had other plans he tried to break her ass out/ bout/ time Jay and B finally jumped the broom/ now they the highest paid couple and got nothin to prove/ but if they lose/ they gone need that broom to clean up/ and I can only hope to God that they signed a pre-nup/ what/ more can I say/ on to OJ/ never learned his lesson, how many times its gone take/ wait/ he probably did the dumbest shit in the world/ he went to jail but this time not for killing his girl/ But you best believe the judge threw the book all hard/ got away with murder but caught for stealin football cards?/ speaking of charges/T.I. year wasn't so fun/ they said you can have whatever...he said give me them guns/ he claims the guns was cuz he usually nervous/ plead guilty got a year plus community service/ now when I heard this/ I couldn't believe it like T-pain/ best rapper of 2008 became lil' wayne/ in Hip hop/ weezy had the game locked/ lolipop/ and Carter 3 had the number 1 spot/ people watched/ guess I'm still wondering when the show's over/ maybe it's me but I'm tired of hearing that vocoder/ cold shoulder/ I throw til real rap comes back/ it's not surprising DMX went back to crack/ In rehab so he missed his las court appearance/ from what I hearin his next album gone have gospel lyrics?/ forgot to mention/ Kanye mom may she rest in peace/ that's only how he get a pass/ for that last/ release/ tragedy almost struck when the gun went off/ Plaxico shot himself accidently ya'll/ speaking of boss/ Rick Ross/ we know/ he hustled kilos/ but he admitted/ before he did it/ he used to be a C.O./ Zero/ how many times Patriots lost in the season/ but when I watched the superbowl I thought I was dreamin/ was it karma for the cheatin/ had to be another reason/ all I know I lost dough what the fuck was I thinkin/ a meetin/ between the greats 21 years in the making/ NBA finals were the Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers/ K.G. and the big 3, yeah they did they thang/ Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant they just couldn't hang/ Time for change/ and this year was the time to prove it/ we had hope while others said he couldn't do it/ including/ racist/ the haters/ they said he'd fail/ but through it all in the end he still prevailed/ I could tell/ November 4th was going to make history/ but it took all of our votes to claim the victory/ Destiny/ it has become or perhaps heaven sent/ all I know 2008 we got our black president/ it's relevant/ cuz the economy needed a push/ Gas prices, foreclosures I blame bush/ It took 3 minutes I'm at the end but feel like I just started/ So I'm a close this with a prayer for the dearly departed...


Monday, December 29, 2008

I Got The Hook Up!!

"I got the hook-up, Holla if you hear me. Ugggnnnhhh!!" - Master P

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone mention that they have the hook up on this or that I wouldn't be rich, but let's just say I'd be a little more financially stable than I presently am. I mean I like anyone else, enjoy a deal as opposed to paying the full price. However, if you've ever experienced a "hook up" why does it seem like the savings you're getting are never quite worth the hassle?

While some people live and die by them, honestly I personally don't look for hook-ups. Now every so often they may get presented to me and at that time I weigh out the worth of what I'm saving as far as time/money vs. how much I want what the hook up is. For instance, over a year ago I'm walking home from work and minding my own business. I walked past an Indian market and saw 2 black guys in there. Okay at that point I was no longer minding my own business I was being nosey and also making sure nothing was about to go down. LoL. I mean why were these black guys in this Indian store? So I slowed down and saw they were trying to sell something, which I figured from the start. My eye spied a box that looked like a Playstation 3. So I slowed my walk down to a halt. I waited around for them to come out of the store. As they came out I asked what they were selling. They confirmed it was a brand new PS3 and that the Indian dude wouldn't bite. So, I inquired as to how much they wanted if I could check out the merchandise. They showed it and gave me a price which was substantially below retail value. The box was brand new and they proceeded to open it in front of me.

See this lesson I learned a long time ago from my Uncle Michael. I was maybe 7 or 8 could have been younger. However, all I remember was my father clowning my uncle because the fool bought a VCR from someone on the street. And when he went home and opened it well it was a box of bricks. LMAO.

So, I first inspected the goods and could see they were inside Styrofoam and all. This was legit. I didn't ask where they acquired said merchandise nor did I want to know or care. I made a quick call to my brother and confirmed that the asking price was well below the actual and completed the transaction. My Ps3 worked and has worked fine ever since I purchased it. Now that is a great hook up if you ask me.

Now it is very rare that I take advantage of hook ups because I am probably the biggest skeptic in the world. Think of the saying "believe none of what you hear and half of what you see." Well even if I see it right in front of me and can touch and feel that it's real I'm probably going to still question it. So anyways, over this Christmas season I won't front some situations had me just a bit strapped for cash. A few weeks ago my best friend informed me of a hook up one of her co-workers knew about. Without disclosing exactly what the hook up was, basically you could pay this particular bill to the hook up man and they would double what you pay them on your bill. So if your bill was $80 you pay them $40, they most likely pocket the $40, but somehow the $80 on your bill is paid.

When I was told this I didn't think anything of it and told my BFF that I'm good I'll just continue to pay that bill the regular way. Well that was until an unexpected charge appeared on that bill. I was then faced with a tough decision. Pay the bill entirely and be dead broke over the Holidays or try out this hook up. Damn! Although, I had met my BFF's co-worker once before, I didn't know this 3rd Party person or how this hook up worked. However, I was desperate and went against my better judgement (which I rarely do). So, the co-worker makes the call and I'm to meet up with the 3rd Party at where they work. Now the bill I was getting taken care of was not like a $50-$100 bill. It was a lot more than that or else I would not have even considered this avenue and would have just paid it.

So I meet with the 3rd party at the location and the individual turned out to be Arab (Clue #1-I don't trust Arabs for some reason. No offense to any of them but they just seem shady to me and this one was slick talking as hell). Now for some reason I was expecting this 3rd party to be a brotha name Tyrone, but it just wasn't the case. So I walk up to him confirm he's the guy I'm looking for, but he acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about (Clue #2-I hate secrets and secretive actions. I don't like code names and code words if I can't speak openly about it then I don't like to deal with it). But he quickly says "oh [co-worker's name] sent you right?" I'm like yeah she did. He then rips the corner piece of paper off of a larger sheet and hands it to me. He explains for me to write down my name and account information and give him the money. I proceed to do as I'm told.

He then says "okay give it 24-48 hours and the payment will be posted to your account. I then ask a dumb question, but excuse me I'm just too used to dealing with legit establishments. "Can I get a receipt or something showing this transaction?" The guy laughs (Clue #3 - I know I can often be funny and make others laugh, but don't laugh at me when I'm being serious about something, I hate that) and says "there is no receipt. Your girl [co-worker's name] is your receipt. She knows how this works and if you have any problems just come back and see me." Again the skeptic in me wanted to tell this fool to give me my damn money back and get the hell out of here. Unfortunately, the desperation in me talked me into saying alright give it a chance because if it's a legit hook up you are golden and can continue to come back to utilize it. So I studied this guys face very closely before I left. I figured just in case things went bad I could make sure I was whoopin the right person's ass over my money.

Alright, so this original transaction took place on Monday December 15th. So I'm expecting my bill to be paid by Wednesday evening. But Wednesday comes and when I checked online guess what? It wasn't paid! So I ask my best friend to holla at her girl [co-worker] and see what's the deal. She tells me she texted and called the 3rd Party and he didn't respond. So come Thursday I again ask my best friend to see what's the deal with her girl. Well this time her girl's response is almost on some well I'm not in it type fashion and that's between them. Not to mention she wouldn't give up the 3rd party's phone number. So my skepticism leads me to believe that maybe this chick [the co-worker] is in on this shit and they just stuck me for my paper like Biggie said? Well I knew that the following day was going to be my best friend's graduation; therefore, I didn't want to keep burdening her about this especially given she had other stuff to deal with. So, I let it alone and figured I would just go back up there over the weekend.

All day Friday I had been checking online to see if the payment was posted, but nothing. Same thing Saturday and nothing. So Sunday evening I popped up on the 3rd Party. Now the first time I was more in business mode. This time I was more in "wish a nigga would mode" and it showed. He tries to play as if he didn't know who I was and asked "can I help you?" I tell my man's "look you already helped me on Monday and said 48 hours it's been 5 days why you bullshitting me?" So, he proceeds to thumb through a pile of about 20-30 of these scraps of paper with peoples names and account info written on them (Clue #4 - Not sure if this was a good or bad clue on one hand I'm like he obviously does this all the time if he has all these sheets, but then I'm like it's a scrap of paper this shit can get lost at any point then what?). He gets about midway through the pile and pulls out my name/account info. He then picks up the phone and calls someone and begins speaking his native tongue (Clue #5 - Anyone can pick up a phone and speak something in a different language especially if the other person doesn't understand them). This tactic didn't move me, he could have been calling his girl having phone sex at that moment and I still wouldn't have known what he was saying.

So he gets off the phone and tells me it'll be posted in another 24-48 hours. Now by this time I'm cursing (remember "wish a nigga would mode") "that's the same shit you told me on Monday either make this happen or run my cash back." He says "I assure you it will be posted some times it can take up to a week ask your girl." I say "she ain't tellin me shit so I don't know what the procedure is all I know is my shit ain't paid." He asks "what do you think I'm taking your money?" and proceeds to pull out a wad of cash. Off eyes, glance it was maybe $600 or so. He says "I have money thanks to God (Clue #6 - don't they worship Allah? Could be an ignorant assumption but still suspect all in all) I'm not trying to take your money I'm just trying to help people out get them half of their bill." I tell him "first off if you subtract what I gave you, your pockets ain't all that laced, second of all I don't give a fuck about other people or all that madness you talkin I just want my bill paid." He then says "here take my number if there is any problem you call me, no better yet text me and I'll respond right away." Now I won't front this made me feel a little more at ease, because now I wouldn't have to have my best friend bothering her co-worker on the daily about this. Now I could simply go directly to the source. Also, I figured if shit got any worse I know exactly how to track this cat via his phone number.

So I take his number and dial it and make sure his phone rings. It does and I lock the number in my phone. So I started my vacation the Friday of my best friend's graduation and was going to be off all week. Well guess what? Another 48 hours passes and still no payment posted. Now this shit is messing up my vacation. I'm supposed to be on relax mode and the company I owe this bill for is calling me every hour on the hour. So I call up 3rd party and of course get a voice mail. I was about to text him then I get a text from him saying "what's up?" I'm thinking I know he don't think we just cool like that. So I text him back saying "it's been 48 hours still nothing and they keep calling and probably about to disconnect my services. If you can't make it happen then give my money back." He replies "I'll be there after 5." So, after 5 comes and mind you it's snowing in the Chi on this day. We had a few snow storms back to back and the roads are terrible. Now this drive is probably about a 30 minute drive on the street on a regular day, but over an hour in snow traffic. I hate the snow!

So I get there and walk up and guess what? He's not there! (Clue #7 - This MF out Christmas shopping with my money and had no plans of coming in). At this point I'm fuming, if I was a cartoon you could see the fumes rising from my forehead. I walk up to the guy that was manning his station and ask where 3rd party is. He said "oh he didn't come in, he lives far away and it's snowing so he couldn't make it here." I'm thinking I just traveled in this damn snow and made it but he decides to call off, ain't that some convenient bullshit. So I tell the guy the story and he then hands me a small piece of paper and tells me to write down my info again. He gets on the phone and also begins talking in his native tongue. Of course he gets off the phone and says what? "It's done just give it 48-72 hours." I'm like "the other guy said the same shit it's been over a week." He says he knows but I guess whatever blather he just said in his language some how insured it would be done this time. He promises and gives his word that within 72 hours this would be done. Unfortunately, at this point I can't do shit but take his word, but if it was the other guy I'd demand my cash. Although I can't lie I eyeballed the laptop the guy was on and appraised it to be worth about the same amount as I gave the 3rd party. But I then thought that snatching the laptop and running to my car could get me a felony charge and I didn't want to be in jail on Christmas. So I walk out hoping that his word is bond.

Another 48 hours (Damn I feel like Eddie Murphy) passes and nothing. But well it's Christmas and nothing happens on Christmas right? Plus it's been a good one so I try not to worry about it and proceed to enjoy my day. Next day still nothing. It's been 72 hours. My phone still blowing up, at least they took a break from calling on Christmas though. I'm probably the most patient person there is but everyone has a boiling point. I had my son for the weekend and was enjoying his company so I didn't even bother going up there. I figured I'd make the trek on Sunday. But guess what happens Sunday morning at like 3am? Yep my services are disconnected. WTF? Are you serious? So Sunday I already knew what the mission was going to be. I didn't go up there first thing in the morning I figured the later it got the better chance I catch the 3rd party up there. I didn't text him, I didn't call him.
But as I'm getting ready to go up there my son's first tooth came out! So that made my mood better and I was extremely happy and excited. So after taking some pics and him asking me about the tooth fairy I got ready to go. Prior to leaving I was on the phone with my brother and made the comment to my son "whatever you get from the tooth fairy hold it down because your dad may need bail money." He didn't get what I was saying but my brother laughed.

I actually decided to bring my son with me thinking that if he's there it will lessen the chance of me choking this dude out. Also, it crossed my mind that if nothing else he may be able to collect some more teeth for the tooth fairy and raise this bail money quicker. LoL. So we walk in and I see the 3rd party and also the other guy who promised me. Great! I had to wait in a bit of a line. Now I don't know if it was time for the other guy to leave, but when he spotted me he grabbed his coat and left (Clue #8 - If looks could kill, he caught my stare and dodged a bullet and wasn't sticking around for the next to enter the chamber). So, I walk up to the 3rd party and don't even have to say anything. He grabs the paper with my name on it and gets on the phone immediately. As he's on the phone I tell him "hey don't even worry about it just run my cash." He says "hold on one minute I'm just finishing up with this customer if you wanna have a seat I'll be right with you." I immediately notice that the distance from the seating area would give him enough time to escape like his boy did, and say "naw I'm waiting right here."

So, as he's on the phone I notice him reach in his pocket and count his money. Funny some how his cash flow had mysteriously decreased greatly from the previous time he was flaunting and thanking God. Next, I watch him go into the cash register and start counting money. My eyes are that of an eagle ready to swoop on their prey. I count right along with him, 20, 40, 60, 80, 100, etc. Yep that's enough to cover what I'm owed so I don't wanna hear no BS. So, he finishes with the customer and goes back to the register and takes out the money owed to me and says "here you go, but if you can give me 5 minutes. I can take care of this right away for you." I tell him "man don't even waste your time because if you were gonna do it it would have been done it's been 2 weeks and now my services are disconnected. Just run my change and I'll just go pay the stuff (notice the edit version, my son was with me) like I should have from the beginning messing with y'all and this bull." So I took my cash and left. I went and paid the bill and got my services back on and no one got hurt.

But of course there is a lesson learned from this one for me at least. First, don't trust anyone and they damn hook ups no matter how desperate you are or how great they seem. Next, If it's too good to be true it most likely is. Third, If it's not a tangible product that you can touch, smell and or taste don't even play yourself out. Lastly, always follow your first instinct. In this case mines was telling me to not even try doing this dumb shit. But honestly even if in the end the 3rd party had gotten the bill taken care of, the hassle and headache was not even equal. He would have had to do that plus throw me $50-100 to make it even. So next time I hear those famous words "I got the hook up" you can miss me. Don't holla ya hear me?

Monday, December 22, 2008

The U-G-L-Y Truth: Poll Results

Last week I posted a blog entitled "The U-G-L-Y Truth." If you haven't read it or need a refresher please click the link to go back and check it out. But if you read it already then you recall that I asked readers to take a quick poll. Well the results are in and I will be posting them below in a second.

Basically the entire post was to just disprove the saying that some people use "Looks don't matter at all." In the post I simply wanted to make a case that they do matter and that someone's looks do play a factor into your initial attraction to them. Although many other factors can and will come into play, I simply wanted to Keep It Real. We all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder; therefore, each person is different in what attracts them to someone. Well I pretty much put a poll out there just to see if the readers would choose someone that is considered attractive over someone that is considered less attractive. I want to thank the readers that came by and participated in the voting. Of course the number of voters weren't astronomical, but it was enough to still prove my point. So, here are the results [listed in percentages of the total votes received].

Which Would You Prefer to Date? ______________________________
Grace Jones 26%


Beyonce 74%

Morris Chestnut 100%

Shabba Ranks 0%
Amy Winehouse 15%


Angelina Jolie 85%
George Clooney 91%


Carrot Top 9%
T.I. 100%


Craig Mack 0%
Anthony Mason 23%


Allen Iverson 77%

All in all as you can see the people with the most votes tended to fall into the more attractive category. Some people got totally shut out like Craig Mack and Shabba Ranks. However, there were a few people that received more votes than I anticipated. For instance, Grace Jones was the top vote getter of the less attractive people. But in the end the poll did prove that when given the choice of being able to date someone more attractive vs. less attractive, that the majority of people will choose the more attractive person. I know some were saying that the selections I made for voting were unfair and 2 extreme opposites of the attractiveness spectrum. However, I had to do that in order to prove my point. So, I want to thank everyone for voting, commenting and Keeping it Real!!


Friday, December 19, 2008

Up the Ladder

Success is something you fight for aggressive
Something you strive for no matter how bad the stress is

Success is something only few can achieve
It has to be something you eat, sleep, and breathe

Success is something already made up in your mind
If you think that you may fail (Trust me) you will every time

Success is never ever a given
You have to step up and take it and you have to stay driven

Success is usually hard work and rarely the easy road
You have to look past your obstacles and keep your eyes on the goal.

Success is looking past your flaws and what you can’t do
Success is knowing what you can do and what you will do in order to make
your success come true.

Success when it is achieved, some praise and others hate it
But bask in your success because only you know what it took for you to make it!!!


I wrote this for my best friend. She's graduating today with her Master's degree. Words can't even say how proud of her I am. But I did my best in the poem above. She probably won't read this on here. But as her gift I had this poem framed so she will hopefully have it somewhere hanging in her living room soon.

I can remember when she first moved here to Chicago 2 years ago and was just beginning her Master's program. Well it's been a long 2 years and like any other success she faced obstacles along the way. As a friend I did my best to motivate her to keep at it and not to give up. That even included helping her with her homework/papers, staying up late to finish assignments, and helping to do research. Well needless to say she did it. And today she will walk across the stage and receive her degree.

So to my BFF I want to say I'm proud of you and congratulations. I know that you will be acheiving many more successes in life. This is just another stepping stone to your ultimate goal in life. Now let's get across that stage so we can party tonight. LoL. But for real to all the other graduates this year I congratulate you as well. Much success to you all.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lost Without You

As much as I try to front and act like I don't need you in my life I was confronted with not having you there the other day. Although it was only for 24 hours I won't lie it seemed like an eternity. I guess I just got so comfortable and so use to you always being there. So when you couldn't be I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm a man first; therefore, I couldn't cry and I couldn't let anyone see how much not having you there was affecting me. But inside... Inside I felt empty. I missed your company, communicating with you and through you, and just being able to touch you. Throughout the day I would try to reach out to you, but I knew that you were unavailable. I knew that if I tried to call that I wouldn't get through. Or if I even tried to send a text that it wouldn't make it to it's destination.

How can this be? I was never this type of guy. I always tried to make sure I did all I could to keep you happy. I took care of you in every way including financially. I always made sure that wherever I went you were there with me. And even when I laid in the bed at night you were right there next to me. And when I woke up in the morning you were the first to greet me. I know that we've made a long term commitment as we've been together going on 4 years now. I truly don't know what I would do without you in my life. I guess that not having you there the other day just made me realize how important you are to me. So important that even one day had me missing you like crazy. Perhaps I was spoiled? You were always so good to me giving me almost everything I needed and more. Now I was reduced to having nothing at all. Was this your way of telling or showing me that I should cherish what we have more than I do. And to never take you or what we have for granted? If so I got the message.

They say that you never really know what you got until it's gone. Well I now understand what that means. But why does it always take being gone for someone to realize. Although it really wasn't my fault, I was left pondering so much throughout those 24 hours. What could I have done differently? I sought advice from so called experts, yet even they were no help. I was left with no choice but to wait for you to come back to me. I sat at work with nothing but you on my mind the whole day. I Wondered how long it would be before we reunited. I even wondered if maybe this was a sign that I should move on to another. Maybe try to start something new. Perhaps we weren't as meant to be as I first thought. But we've been together for such a long time, you know what I need and I know what you need. It's a mutual agreement and we make it work day in day out month in and month out.

But I would be lying if I didn't admit that many have tried to tempt me and take me away from you. However, everyone eventually gets tested right? And if you can pass those test even if not with flying colors you come out stronger on the other side right? I tried to concentrate on work as to not think about you. But you were all I could think of. I sat hoping that later that night we would be back together like old times. I just knew that another day like this would absolutely kill me inside.

I don't know how, but I made it through what seemed to be the longest 8 hour day in the world. Not knowing what to do I once again sought the so-called expert advice. This time it was suggested that maybe if I bought something for you that you would come back. As much as I desire to be with you it just bothered me that I may have to go to this extreme. I mean we were able to always work out any problems we had amongst ourselves. I didn't have to go shopping at the mall to please you. You were always satisfied by me, but maybe this advice was worth a try. At this point I really didn't care. I was willing to try almost anything to be with you again. So I ventured out into the cold and trekked through the snow to the nearest mall. I hate shopping especially during Christmas season. But for you I was willing to step out of my comfort zone.

As I walk into your favorite store I seemed a little lost. The sales associate immediately noticed I probably don't shop here often and asked if I needed help. I told them what I was looking for and they proceeded to assist me. Thank God, because sometimes these type of shopping experiences can be a little embarrassing. So, they found exactly what I was looking for and as I began to leave the store something just felt right again. It was like this one act on my part instantaneously brought us closer. I could just feel your presence again. That empty feeling had gone away. I proceeded to try to send a text message and guess what? It went through. :-D So I immediately called and guess what? It went through, I got an answer. :-D We were once again re-connected and all I could do was smile ear to ear. :-D I don't ever want to go a day without you again...

I must thank the experts at T-Mobile for their advice because it worked. All I needed was a new sim card. They activated it at the store and my phone was back ya'll. I was once again reunited and just like the song says it felt so good. It was so hard to get through an entire day without being able to use my phone. I felt disconnected from the world. I couldn't text, make calls, send e-mails, IM, or anything. I know it's sad but I actually did feel lost. I'm not saying I can't survive without my cell phone, but I will say I've gotten used to having it and all it's technology and capabilities. So in a way I am spoiled. And to go from that to nothing cold turkey is hard. So thank God that I have you back and I don't ever want to go another day without having you.

Has anyone else ever had to experience being without your cell phone for an extended period of time? And if so did you feel the same way I did? I can't be the only one to have gone through this before. LoL.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

What's In a Name?

"You got a bad name like Dick Butkis" - J-Ro of the Alkaholiks from "Another Level"

For those who don't know, Dick Butkis was a Hall of Fame linebacker for the Chicago Bears. As a life long Bears fan, I've always known who he was, but it wasn't until I heard this song that I had ever analyzed his name. And yes, it had to be hard growing up with a name like that. (Kids can be so cruel). I myself have a rather unusual name. I mean, a black man in America named Andreas? Can't say that I've run across any other black man with my name. As a matter of fact, I hated my name when I was a kid. (Like 5 and 6). I wanted to change my name to Michael. Thank God I came to my senses. No offense to any Michael's in the audience, its just that I have a unique personality. And thus my unique name fits me. Plus I think its kinda cool to be named after my mom Andrea. (Yes I know I'm pandering, but hey, Christmas is coming up, and I can always use the extra brownie points. Lol).

With all of that being said, I want to nominate Heath and Deborah Campbell of Hunterdon County, NJ, as the worse parents in the world. I've never met Heath or Deborah, but after reading this, I think you'll agree with me. Heath and Deborah have three children. The oldest being a son named...(wait for it)... Adolf Hitler Campbell. I swear I'm not making this up. Young Adolf turned 3 recently. Like all parents, Heath and Deborah wanted to get him a birthday cake with his name on it. They contacted their local grocery store, and tried to place an order for the cake. But there's one simple twist. Heath and Deborah asked for his entire name to be placed on the cake. Well, needless to say, the store declined their request.

Heath and Deborah were eventually able to get the cake of their choice at a Wal-mart in Pennsylvania. I don't know how this story made it to the public square, but Heath did an interview in which he said "I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not the past." Well Heath, I must tell you that when you name your child after someone who is, almost, single handedly responsible for the murder of 6 million people, its sure to raise more than an eyebrow or two. It actually trips me out that this dude is claiming some kind of ignorance about the response to his and his wife's actions. Heath made a further mockery of himself by asserting that "There's a new President and he says that it's time for a change; well then it's time for a change. They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."

While that might not be the case, you have to admit Heath, there's a certain racist element to naming you child Adolf Hitler. When that issue was brought up, Deborah Campbell revealed that 12 people attended the party, including several mixed children. As Heath exclaimed "If we're so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?" Well Heath, I can't explain the logic behind that decision. However I will say this about your "possibly" racist tendencies. Its bad enough that you named you son Adolf Hitler Campbell. But when your wife gave birth to a daughter a year later, you and Deborah decided to name her................(wait for it).................. JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. (I shit you not). Now Heath, can I be real with you? I might have been able to let you slide with the whole Adolf thing. Not my preference, but to each his own. But picking "Aryan Nation" as your daughter's middle name; well, that just slaps of an agenda. A RACIST one! Their third child's name is Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. I can't say that there's anything overtly racist about that name, but given Heath and Deborah's track record, I will be doing some investigating.

Heath said that they named their son Adolf Hitler because "no one else in the world will have that name." Well Heath, you're probably wrong. I'm sure that somewhere in this world of 8 billion people, some other racist MF had the very same idea as you. They just didn't call their local grocery store and try and order a birthday cake with his name on it. I understand the concept unique names, but can we draw the line somewhere? I blame Hollywood for this crap. You know, the people naming their children such things as Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter), Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon's son), Diva Muffin and Moon Unit (Frank Zappa's daughters), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's son), and Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani's daughter).

Again, I understand the need to want to name your children something unique. But as a parent, you're supposed to put your children's needs ahead of your own personal agenda. And there's no way you can't say that young Adolf wouldn't have an easier time going through life as Michael Campbell.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Voicemail Tales

In my 9-5 job I am required to both answer and make many phone calls throughout the course of a day's work. Well I have a gripe I need to share. (I know you're thinking what else is new. Lol). Over the course of years working where I do presently and other companies doing similar work, I've probably left more than 100,000 voicemail and answering machine messages. In doing so, I've probably heard every type of voicemail greeting that there is to hear. To the point where I know when I know when I can just press pound(#), or 1 to get directly to the voicemail.

So here's my list of personal favorite voicemail greetings. And when I say favorite I mean I can't stand them and get tired of hearing them over and over again. So don't get confused. LoL. If any of you have these types of voicemail greetings this is not directed at you. I could care less about what type of voicemail greeting you have because, well I don't have to call you. LoL.

April Fools!
Phone Rings 4xs:
Me: Hi can I speak to Mr./Mrs. So & So


Me: (Frustrated at having to repeat myself) Yes I need to speak to Mr/Mrs. So & So Please!

Who's Calling?
Me: This is C-Recks from (My company name)

3 sec Pause...

Me: Hello?

Ha! Ha! I got you leave a message after the beep.

Now I love a good joke like anyone else; however, getting 2-3 of these type of voicemail greetings a day is frustrating and annoying as hell. Usually these leave me wanting to say some obscene things on the voice mail that could get me fired. LoL. Now some of you may be thinking, how do you keep falling for those? Well to be honest I don't too much pay attention to what's going on until I either hear someone say hello or a beep. But most of these are so clever you can't tell that it's a prank until they've gotten you. To those that do this you have absolutely too much time on your hands.

American Idol Auditions
I will admit that the best part of the show American Idol is probably the thousands of auditions from the would be singers that have no talent at all. So yes I like to sit and laugh at those individuals. Someone should have told them they can't sing before they came on TV to make a fool out of themselves. But that's besides the point. Nonetheless, I hate it when non-singing and or non-rapping people try to flex their absent skills on their voice mails. I don't want to hear you doing your best rendition of Keyshia Cole's "Love." Nor do I want to hear a freestyle rap about how you can't answer the phone, that sounds like the Blue Blocker man. As a rapper with some talent this offends me. LoL. If you have talent then you should be recording in the studio not on your voicemail. Although they sometimes make me laugh, I don't have time to listen to that madness.

Stick to the Script
Phone Rings 4xs

Hi I'm Katie, I'm Derek, I'm Catherine and I'm Paul, and (in unison) you've reaches the Stevensons we're not home right now so leave a message at the tone and we'll get back to you. Beep!

I don't want to call them wanna be actors, but these clever individuals choose to plan out a whole script when it comes to their voicemail greeting. They don't mind even getting the kids involved. Everyone can get written into the script. These individuals have a different voicemail depending on the upcoming Holiday. If it's Halloween they may leave a greeting sounding like Dracula. If it's Christmas they'll belt out their jolliest Ho Ho Ho. I know that Christmas is coming up I see the commercials, displays, date on the calendar, and my son is on countdown mode. Therefore, I don't need to be reminded by your voicemail.

User Error

Phone Rings x4

You've reached the sprint pcs voicemail for: "Yeah I don't know what's going on with this thing I'm still waiting on the beep, it's taking forever." At the tone leave a message at the end of your message press # for more options.

No offensive but some people are just not that technologically advanced. But it really doesn't take too much technical savvy to record your name at the beep and press # then follow the rest of the prompts to set up your voicemail. But hey maybe it's just me.

Kids Incorporated

Similar to the script writers previously mentioned, these individuals basically hand the phone over to the kids and let them leave the voicemail greeting. I've heard greetings that are as simple as "Call my momma back!" Then the more complex where you can hear the parent in the background feeding the kid the lines to recite. But it's still a kid so you eventually hear them mess up in the middle and try to whisper "What was I supposed to say?" I will admit these voice mails can be kind of cute, and sometimes funny. However, I just want to get to the point and leave my message, I just don't need all the extra theatrics.

Musical Chairs
I'm probably the biggest music lover that there is, and I love when I call someone's voice mail and they're playing my song. However, I can only take so much. If it's 30 secs of the song then cool I'll listen, bob my head a little bit, tap my foot, and maybe even hum a note or 2. However, once the song gets into the 1-3 minute mark it's just getting ridiculous. If I want to hear the song that bad I'll go to I-Tunes or turn on the radio. I don't need to hear the whole damn song on your voicemail. Now I know you may be thinking why don't I just press # and go directly to leaving a message? Well trust I know that works for most cell phones; however, depending on the carrier pressing # during the greeting will prompt it to ask you for you pin number. Therefore, you have to hang up, call back, and listen to the whole damn song again. Therefore, I don't risk trying that. But wait now they have those Call Tones. So instead of hearing the phone ringing you hear a snippet of a song. If you have a call tone please don't follow it up with a voice mail greeting that is full of a 3 minute song, this is just over kill!

Sunday Service
Now don't get me wrong I love God just as much as the next. Also, I know that as Christian's our job is to spread God's word to the world by any and all means possible. However, does that necessarily include your personal voicemail too? These individuals will begin and end their voice mail with a scripture from the bible. I mean to the point where I'm searching for a bible just so I can follow along. As much as I appreciate the good word for the day, I'm calling Monday - Friday and I'm just trying to work. Hit me with the word on Sunday please. Oh and they will never forget to tell you at the end to "Have a Blessed Day," which I appreciate. I need all the blessings I can get. LoL.

Bottom line is that we all have the right to do whatever we want on our voice mails. These are just my frustrations being expressed. But all I'm saying is why not keep it simple? "Hi this is _____ sorry I missed your call please leave me a message and I'll return your call." Or just don't record a message and let the regular cell phone message say your number and then the beep. Sometimes there is just no need for all the extra stuff. Plus you never know who is going to be calling you. What if you're trying to get a new job and they hear some of this madness I discussed? But again I digress. I'm sure that throughout the course of my day I will hear any and all of these voice mails at some point. But at least via blogger I can share my pain with the world. Maybe someone will feel me. LoL. Oh if I missed any feel free to add to my list.


Monday, December 15, 2008

If the Shoe Fits...

What this guy did just epitomizes what the vast majority of us feel about our current President.
You really F*CKED up Bush!


Friday, December 12, 2008

Politics As Usual !!!

So I was in the San Francisco Bay area this past October. I happened to be with a "friend" of mine, and we swung by her mother's house for a quick visit. Inevitably while I was there, the conversation turned to politics. Her mother knows that I am well versed when it comes to talking politics, and she asked my opinion of the, then, upcoming election. As I stated in the past, I voted for President Bush in the 2004 election, and her mother asked me, quite sarcastically I might add, "so are you voting for John McCain this time"? This question lead us to talk about a book that I was reading at the time called "The case against Barack Obama". She had heard of the book, and asked what was the gist of the argument against him. At that point, I had only made it through the first few chapters, so I explained to her that they were questioning some of his associations with local Chicago politicians. I said "I've heard of many of the people that they linked him with, and I must admit that I too have a problem with those associations. Chicago politics is a very dirty game, and I wonder just how down and dirty Obama got". It is with the backdrop of that conversation that I officially start this blog.

When you heard that O.J. Simpson had gotten himself in trouble again back in 2007, I'm sure that many of you asked yourselves a similar question to mine: Who could be so stupid? Well, on Tuesday, I got my answer. His name is Rod Blagojevich, the Governor of Illinois. (Or as I will call him from here on in this blog, Inmate number 11042008). On Tuesday, Inmate number 11042008 and his chief of staff John Harris were arrested on charges of wire and mail fraud, and solicitation of bribes. The charges themselves were not terribly surprising. What was surprising was that he was arrested for trying to sell the soon to be vacated Senate seat of Barack Obama. So I said to myself "they've had this fool under investigation for a while. Why would he be so stupid as to try and get bribes while the Feds were listening? I mean, he had to know that he wouldn't get away with it".

The Governor's actions were appalling and took a set of balls that would weigh down Paul Bunyan. But as usual, Inmate 11042008 has denied all charges. And with that denial, comes the inevitable refusal on his part to resign from his post. That to me is the biggest crime of all. I'm tired of government officials screwing up, and then refusing to, metaphorically, "fall on their sword".

The city of Detroit dealt with a huge scandal involving their then mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. The video below is a synopsis of the charges lobbed against Kilpatrick.

I'd been hearing about the mayor and his troubles for a while. And I will be completely honest, I gave the brotha the benefit of the doubt. But as more and more information came to light, it became readily apparent that my man really needed to step down. Unfortunately, like many politicians in similar positions, he allowed his ego to get in the way, and he remained in office for far too long. Eventually Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to the charges, and was sentenced to 120 days in jail. However, according to wikipedia, there were a laundry list of charges lobbed against Kilpatrick. Personally, I believe this brotha got off incredibly lucky.

Then there was Larry Craig. He was the Idaho senator who was busted in the Minneapolis Airport soliciting sex from an undercover (male) police officer in June of 2007. He originally pleaded guilty to a charge of disorderly conduct. But when the charges came to light, Craig tried to withdraw his guilty plea, something he is still contesting to this day. He also has denied being gay, however there have been many people who have come forward and refuted that claim. As usual, there were calls for Craig to step down as Senator. He initially refused to step down, but relented on September 1, 2007. Separate from the whole gay issue, which is none of my business, Craig was wrong for getting caught soliciting sex. He should have immediately given up his Senate seat.

My belief is that we as Americans made a huge mistake back in 1998-99. See, when the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal came to light, too many of us, me included, rallied to Bill Clinton's defense. What my man did was wrong. Yes cheating on his wife, but even worse than that, lying under oath. I liked Bill. Unofficially, he was the first black President. But my man had a greater responsibility to the American people. When it came to light that he had been fooling around in the White House, he should have resigned from office, and preserved the dignity of the office of the Presidency. By him fighting the charges, narrowly avoiding impeachment, and then finishing his term as President, he has given rise to other politicians across the country. Now they feel as though "Well, I'm not the President. And if he can get away with what he did, what I did is no big deal." Well what they do is a big deal! We elect these people to represent us, not themselves. I don't know about you, but I'd NEVER cheat on my wife. I'd NEVER solicit sex from a male police officer. And I'd NEVER try and sell a Senate seat! So why should I be represented by anyone who would?

In closing, I'd just like to say this about Inmate 11042008. I know that Chicago politics has always been a crooked game. Pay for play has been going on as long as the Championship drought for my beloved Cubs. But given the fact that you took over for a previously disgraced Governor, George Ryan, wouldn't it have been wise for you to try and restore some of the public trust? But I guess you just couldn't escape what "Chicago Way."


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The U-G-L-Y Truth

"Beauty is only Skin Deep... But ugly is to the bone." (From the movie Bebe's Kids)

"It's What's on the inside that counts...Well someone needs to flip her ugly ass inside out then." (Wanda Blind date Sketch - In living Color).

Let me start by saying that we are all beautiful people in some way shape or form. So I don't want anyone to take offense to what I have to say, this is just my opinion here. But with that said can we please keep it real for a moment? When I say real I don't mean that pretend real that some put up and take down later like it's a Christmas Tree. I mean keep it all the way 100% real at least until you finish reading this. Now that we all are in REAL mode let's begin. By a show of hands how many of you that are single would prefer a mate that had a lot of wonderful traits yet they were ugly as hell? And if you're already married or taken how many would have still married or gotten with your current significant other if they were absolutely unappealing to the eye? And by that I mean that you can barely stand to look at them ugly. Meaning that the ugly stick took one swing and ran away type of ugly. I mean O.J. Simpson no alibi type of U-G-L-Y. I mean... well you get the point by now.
I can't see your hands, but I can't imagine too many were raised if any at all. However, you will be asked to participate in a short poll at the end of this blog. Okay now that we have that out of the way I just want to address the 2 statements that began this entry. I just can't for the life of me understand how people try to say that looks don't matter at all. Now I will agree that they are not the most important factor in choosing a mate or what attracts you to a person. I totally agree that there are many other factors to consider, including: personality, intelligence, drive, compassion, attitude, confidence, etc. However, you have to be lying to yourself and others if you flat out say that looks do not matter at all. (See image to the left). I mean how many people do you see walking down the street in passing and can honestly say "Hey they have a beautiful personality?" It Just doesn't happen and if so it's rare. As humans we are first attracted by physical traits, and then the other unseen traits are what usually keep or reduce our attraction.

Now keep in mind that gold diggers don't factor into this equation. We all know they are only concerned with what's in your wallet like Capital One. They could careless what your face looks like as long as the faces on your currency are those of dead presidents. So take them out of the equation. I'm actually talking about genuine relationships here. But maybe I'm the only one that prefers to have someone that is easy on the eyes. I'm not saying that I'm the most attractive person in the world because I'm far from it. Therefore, I would understand that if I'm unattractive to someone that they would choose not to be with me or give me the time of day. All I'm saying is that if you're going to potentially be with this person either for the rest of your life why not have someone you enjoy looking at. Not to mention someone that can even strike up a little jealousy or hateration when you bring them around other guys or girls. Better yet even turn a head or two when you walk down the street with them. I mean who really aspires to find a mate where you don't even want to bring them in public because you never know what reaction you'll get today? Maybe pointing and laughing, shock, disgust, or shame (smh) you just never know.

I was watching an episode of Seinfeld last night and a question was posed. They asked what percentage of people in the world are attractive? They concluded about 5% and made a joke about the other 95%. Now I can't for sure confirm their percentage of unattractive vs attractive people in the world, but I can say that there are for damn sure a good percentage of unattractive people in the world. I'm sure the even the most unattractive person if given a choice would choose someone that was attractive for a mate. As if they can be choosy.

So since we're still keeping it real I want to conduct a short survey and see if my theory holds true or not. Below I've put up some images of attractive vs unattractive people. Below the images is a poll. I want you to select which of the 2 you would personally date. Base your vote solely on the face that is in the picture. Don't consider who the person is, how much money they have, and their celebrity status. Just keep it real if you saw picture one or picture 2 who would you be most likely to date. Voting is of course anonymous and you can vote on one or all 6 of the polls. I've tried to choose from a variety of different celebrity types including: actors, musicians, sports stars, blacks, whites, men and women. So find which ever category best suits you and make your selection. I will report on the results in a future blog post.



Grace Jones


Beyonce Knowles

Which Would you prefer to Date?
Grace Jones
Beyonce Knowles
Free polls from


Morris Chestnut


Shabba Ranks

Which would you prefer to date?
Morris Chestnut
Shabba Ranks
Free polls from

Angelina Jolie


Amy Winehouse

Which would you prefer to date?
Amy Winehouse
Angelina Jolie
Free polls from


George Clooney


Carrot Top

Which would you prefer to date?
George Clooney
Carrot Top
Free polls from




Craig Mack

Which would you prefer to date?
Craig Mack
Free polls from


Allen Iverson


Anthony Mason

Which would you prefer to date?
Anthony Mason
Allen Iverson
Free polls from

Thank you for your participation.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Today's Forecast

Images such as the one to my left are very beautiful and display some of Mother Nature's finest work. However, that may be where it stops for me when it comes to snow.

Someone that's use to tropical temparatures asked me the other day if it was snowing by me. I replied "not yet, but I really don't care for the snow anyways." They then replied "you may be the first American I know that dislikes snow." Well one would think that having lived in Chicago for all these years, I would be used to the snow by now and prepared to deal with it year by year. However, I must admit that I am never quite prepared for it. I can deal with the cold all day long but the snow just changes up the game.

There was once up a time when I lived in Southern, California. And as we all know Tony, Toni, Tone said, it never rains there, so you know for damn sure it's not snowing. So back then especially being that I was younger I did miss the snow. But since I've been old enough to drive (which is basically how long I've consecutively lived in Chicago a little over 10 years), I've disliked and sometimes hated the snow. Now I'm sure some of you, especially those in climates that don't get much snow, are wondering what is so bad about the snow? Well I'm glad you've asked and I'm sure if you've read any of my blogs you know that a list is coming so here it is:

Cleaning off the car
Yes when it's winter time, so I'm used to having to go down and warm/start up my car before I leave out for work in the morning. However, I hate having to spend an extra 10-20 minutes to brush snow and scrape ice off my car windows. Then I can't forget about the lovely Chicago winds. So as I brush tthe snow off it blows right back in my face. Uggh!!

Black Ice
Better watch where you step. The ground may look like sidwalk, but you can easily end up flat on your ass if you step in the wrong place. I've never personally hit the ground when slipping on black ice. However, as my brother described I've had many Idon'twantanyonetoseemefallitis moments. In fact, just yesterday I got out of the car and slipped as I was walking up to the office. Luckily no one saw me so I was cool. Too cool to be embarrassed. lol.

Can't Drive in the snow
Most people can barely drive with no type of adverse weather; therefore, you find yourself driving defensively the majority of the time. However, when it snows (at least in Chicago) people just can't drive at all. They either go way too slow or way too fast. Also, I'm guilty of this one. Some don't clean all the snow off the top of their cars. So, as they speed past you get a windshield full of snow.

No plowed streets
Of course they only plow/salt the major streets when the snow first falls. Therefore, if you live on a side street don't expect a plowed street for a couple of days. Then when they finally do plow the side streets they bury your car under 1-2 feet of snow. Therefore, you not only have to clean the snow of your car again, but you now have to dig your car out from under the snow.

Secured Parking Spots
Speaking of Cars burried in snow. How about having to dig your car out of the snow and then having someone potentially steal your parking spot. As a security measure [here in Chicago] people will place different objects in the parking spot to claim it as their own. I remember one year even our Mayor Daley was on TV telling people that they can't do this. Think it stopped them? Hell No! You dig out a parking spot then it's your spot at least until the snow melts.

Speaking of melting snow. I absolutely hate when the snow and ice begins to melt, whether from the salt or the sun and rising temperatures. The streets become all slushy and it's a mess to walk through. By then it's so dirty that as you drive through it and it splashes on your car that it leaves your car filthy. Then you have to get your car washed again. But you probably just got it washed because you didn't want the salt to start eating away at the paint on your car.

Clumps of snow
I don't even know why or have a reasonable explanation for this one. But I absolutely hate when the snow clumps up behind my tire. I guess it just looks dirty or something to me. But I usually find myself kicking this until it breaks up. Even though it always seems to reappear after I drive again.

So there you have it. Although snow usually means building snowmen, making snow angels, sledding, etc. I say that stuff is for kids. I'm sure its great for them especially if they have a chance to miss a day of school. But as an adult snow doesn't mean I don't have to go to work. So, it's more of a burden to me. Side note: I just checked today's weather forecast and they say are calling for snow today and most of this week. (Oh Joy lucky me!).
Now I'm sure most of you may be wondering if I hate the snow so much why I don't move to a warmer climate? Well unfortunately, that's not an option for me at this time. However, I'll be on vacation in 2 weeks, but sadly can't afford to go any where. LoL. But if anyone wants to contribute to my vacation fund. Hit me up. LoL