Wednesday, November 4, 2009

In Grand (father) Fashion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grandparents are a special breed. They all have their little quirks, sayings, and what nots, that through the years first get on your nerves, but then grow to be some of the staples that you live your life by. On this November 4th, I would like to honor my Grandfather's 70th birthday by introducing you to some of his greatest sayings.

1) "Well I'ma tell you like this" - Most of Grandfather's pearls of wisdom/stories normally start with this phrase. When you hear this, you might as well settle in. The only bad part about hearing this is when you've come to him with what you feel is an important problem. If you're hype is any manner, its pretty deflating to have him come back with that.

2) "Every closed eye ain't sleep" - This one is a classic. In order for you to understand this one, you must know that my Grandfather hasn't slept through the night probably since the Kennedy Administration. So when as a kid I would always hear him say this, I always thought it was really just a threat. Well that was until my brother and I tried to be slick and sneak into the kitchen for late night peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Grandfather swooped in on us like an owl on a three legged mouse. That night, I truly learned the meaning of this saying.

3) "Jaws tight like Dick's hat band" - Well this is probably how my Grandfather would have described the look on me and my brother's faces when he busted us. I don't know who Dick is, but I do know that we were pretty salty that night, so Dick wears a seriously tight hat. I've always wondered if Dick was just somebody my Grandfather knew, or if it was a well known fact that Dick had a tight hat band.

4) "Joe Sausage Head" - To be referred to as a Joe Sausage Head was pretty severe. If Grandfather called someone this, they generally didn't have much, if any, sense. The funny thing about this saying is that until a co-worker of mine used the term last year, I thought my Grandfather was the only one who said it.

5) "Neither Vip nor Vop" - I have no idea what the hell this means. But when Grandfather says it, its with so much authority, that it almost makes sense.

6) "Like 40 going north" - In case you guys don't know, I drive for a living. I have damn near been on every highway and byway in America. But both US 40 and Interstate 40 travel east and west. So I have yet to figure out what 40 he's referring to. I'm not trying to prove Grandfather wrong, I'm just trying to understand what my man is referring to.

7) "More (Blank) than Carter had little liver pills" - This was another saying that for the longest time, I just took Grandfather at his word. I had no idea who the hell Carter was. With the advent of the internet, I finally decided to look up Carter and his little liver pills. Low and behold, I finally found the information. Carter wasn't a person, per se, but instead a company that made laxitives. Apparently they must've done big business back in the day cuz Grandfather is still referring to them now.

So those are probably the 7 most classic sayings from my Grandfather. I share them with you because though he's not your Grandfather, I'm sure your grandparents have some good saying of their own. I invite you to share with the blogosphere some of your grandparent's sayings. I'm proposing that we keep a Grandparents dictionary. These 7 are enshrined with my Grandmother saying "Flusterated, and Testes (That's the plural of test to her, my girl's grandfather who says "Search" (That's church to everyone else), and My Grandfather John's singing "Every day, every hour of the day", and the ultra classic "Summage". (A summage is a son of a bitch. I guess that's just how it was said in Mississippi).

To my Grandfather. Happy Birthday Grandfather. May you always know that though you might not have thought we were listening, WE WERE! And as we've gotten older, your words have never been truer. We Love you, and hope you're around for many more of these birthday posts. Enjoy your 70th. Next time I'm in Chicago, the cognac is on me! Lol


Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween!!!

I'll be honest I'm not a big Halloween person. I haven't dressed up since...Damn I can't even remember but it's been that damn long. Since I've had a son I've of course involved myself in the "holiday" more than normal, but I still don't do too much. Ever since my son's first Halloween where I bought his costume I have somehow become the designated Halloween costume purchaser. And I'll be honest those damn costumes are far from cheap! It was easy when he was 1 and 2. But ever since 3 and up he's been able to express his opinion on what costume he wants. And I swear I pay at least $40 and up for each costume that gets 1 wear and that's it!!

I can actually recall each costume:
2004-Fireman $20
2005- Batman $20 + tax
2006 - Mater from the Movie CARS - $38 + Tax
2007 - James from Thomas the Train $38 + Tax
2008 - Blue Power Ranger $40 + Tax
2009 - Indiana Jones $47.47 with tax and shipping (Yes I had to order this costume from off line)

So in 6 years I've spent over $200 in just costume costs alone. If I keep this up by the time he's 16 I would have spent another $400 in costumes. If he's dressing up after 16yrs old we need to 1.) have a talk and 2.) have a job cuz I'm not buying it. Although $600 over 16yrs is not a whole lot of money spread out over time like that it's still not chump change. So to who ever said kids weren't expensive needs to be choke slammed and put in an arm bar until they tap out! lol. Well that's enough complaining because come next year I already know that I'll be investing another $40+ in a costume for Jr. regardless.

Plus now he's in school so I'm sure his costume requests will only get more elaborate and more expensive as he tries to out do his classmates. As for this year please don't ask why a 5 year old wants to be Indiana Jones. I blame it on the video game "Lego Indiana Jones" but I can't see many other kids recognizing who he is. But I don't think he even cares he was mostly concerned with making sure he had that damn whip as an accessory. Lord I pray no one catches a slave lashing from the boy in school. I'm not ready for those types of calls from the teacher.

Well that ends my mini Halloween rant. I hope everyone that celebrates Halloween enjoys their celebration. Please make sure everyone is safe when doing so. I'll be attending a party hosted by my son. So this should be very interesting. Oh and I've been told I must dress up for the party and I have no costume so this should be even funnier.

P.S. If anyone is looking for any of the aforementioned costumes come next year between sizes 12 mos - 5T they will all be posted on ebay or a craigslist near you. **praying his momma didn't throw out the old costumes** I'm trying to recoup some of those funds!! LoL.

P.P.S. My cousin sent me this damn video on Facebook she made. It features my brother and I, her and my other 2 cousins. I don't know why but the shit had me dying laughing out Loud Literally. So maybe someone else out there can get a quick laugh from it. Watch for my brother at the end of the video! Pure hillarity! Enjoy! Happy Halloween!

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Testimony Tuesday

Well we had to take a week off due to just being down right busy. But we're back with another Testimony Tuesday. I know it's still a day late because it's Wednesday, but at least we're back. We had quite a few e-mails over the break, and as usual we can't get to them all but here is the latest Tuesday Testimony.


Ok here's the situation. I got involved with this girl a few months back. She's a real laid back cool ass chick. Attractive, funny, smart, etc. all the good stuff a guy would want in a girl. Well you know how everyone has a deal breaker when it comes to relationships and dating? Well mines is dogs. I truly can't stand the filthy muts! And I always vowed I would never date a chick with a dog.

Well when I met this girl I didn't know at first about the dog but within a week of knowing her quickly found out. Well as you and any fellas know when it comes to a fine woman a guy will compromise certain things. So I decided as long as I don't have to be around the dog then it shouldn't really affect me. So I went ahead and lied about my dislike of dogs and significatnly downplayed how much I hated them. Basically she thought I was cool with them.
Well gradually as we progressed thinking that I didn't have a problem with dogs she started bring the dog around more and more. Long story short now I'm in too deep in dog shit! Literally!! She's got me dog sitting, walkiing the dog, cleaning up it's shit, playing with the damn thing. I'm trying not to go Mike Vick on the poor Dog but I don't know how much more I can take. I mean she's fine but if her and the dog are a package deal I may have to return to sender!

What should I do?

Driza Dre: Well, I know this topic was near and dear to your heart considering you're such a dog lover. LOL
C-Recks: Lmao I feel his pain man! “But if you having girl problems I feel bad for you son.” Unfortunately, he’s probably wishin he was on some jay-z shit “99 problems but a bitch wasn't one.” Lol

DD: The dog right? Lol

CR: Lmao oh… yeah. Lol

DD: Man, the funny thing is that the whole time I'm reading it, I'm thinking, if she fine, this really ain't an issue. I mean, a whole lotta brothas have put up with a whole lot worse in the infinite pursuit of P. Suck it up, and do what you gotta do.

CR: Man I'm trying to think how fine a chick would have to be for me to put up would a damn dog though! I mean is she Rachel from Caribbean Rhythms fine or Rachel Ray fine? I know Rachel Ray is yo girl. Lol

DD: I know we always talk about dimes, but even a 5 that can cook is a 7 in my book. Food means a lot to me.

CR: Lol man I feel you on that but the dog is getting most of the kibbles and bits in this instance

DD: Its still just a dog. But I did think of a couple of instances in which this dog is a relationship killer.
1) If she puts any kind of clothing on the dog when she makes you walk it
2) If she kisses the dog on the mouth or asks you to kiss the dog on the mouth
3) If the pooch doesn't have its own bed cuz it sleeps in the bed with her
DD: Any of those, and its time to be out man

CR: Man those are all reasons I can't stand dogs and dog lovers! Lol

DD: Well not all dog owners are those kinda dog owners. Some actually treat their pets like pets

CR: Well my man didn't get into the specifics but its gotta be something major for him to be ready to leave a dime chick over it. So should he just man up and deal with the dog? Or should he come clean about his dislike for the mangy mut?

DD: Well, I would come clean about it. But only if he's willing to work with her on the dog issue. Cuz the dog ain't going away. And if he presents it on some its either him, or me stuff, brotha might as well pack his bags right now. But I am saying that if the chick and the relationship are worth it, this is a minor problem. She'll know that if he's worth keeping around, she needs to be more understanding of the fact that dogs really aren't his thing.

CR: Right she ain't pickin the nigga over her dog. If he comes clean he may just be able to get outta of some of the dog duties. But something tells me he may be killin himself like suicide if he says anything. She ain't gone appreciate him lying to get wit her and furthermore won't appreciate him not liking her dog.

DD: It could go that way, but I kinda doubt it will

CR: Well more than anything like you've said guys have had to endure far worse things to stay with a dyme so even from a dog hater I agree this is minor to be with dime status. I'm sure another nigga with an alergy to dogs would gladly deal with this dude's chick and her dog any given day.

CR: So that's just some food for thought for him to chew on.

DD: Man, tis better to have a fine chick with a dog than to have to settle for a chick that looks like one. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

CR: Lmao !! You a fool 4 that one, But u 4sho right.

DD: Well that's it in a nut shell for me. If the relationship is worth it, you gotta take the chance, and speak your peace. And see where it goes from there

CR: Man dimes don't come too frequent to the average guy. So I say count your blessings and endure whatever minor pain you must in order to keep her.

DD: Cuz if you don't, some other dog will!

CR: Exactly it's "dog eat dog" And as they say "Every dog has his day," so enjoy yours while it lasts. **DMX Bark**

Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.

--Driza Dre--

Friday, October 23, 2009

NFL Blog Challenge - "At a Loss" for Words

"Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play." Unfortunately on Sunday night, those players played for the Falcons and not my beloved Chicago Bears. It was a good game all the way through. Chicago jumped out to a 7-0 lead. After switching to a no huddle offense, Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan lead his offense to two second quarter touchdowns. The Bears tied it up in the fourth quarter, but on the ensuing kickoff, some guy that on my TV screen looked like he should be playing high school football, and not in the NFL, ran the ball back deep into Chicago territory. (Eric Weems is his name). At that point, I kinda figured it was over. Atlanta went on to score. The Bears made a late effort and tying the game, but it was not to be. The final score was Atl 21 Chi 14.

So this is where I have to praise Atlanta. The Bears have an above average defense. And the strength of that defense is normally our defensive line. But all game, Matt Ryan had enough time to snap the ball, look around the crowd for his woman, check his email, and still deliver the ball to any number of his receivers. The Bears finished the night with 0 sacks. And just to show you how bad it was, they also finished with 0 QB hits. By contrast, the Falcons finished with 2 sacks, and 7 QB hits. In their last game against the Detroit Lions, the Bears defense had 5 sacks, and 9 QB hits. So big props to the Falcons offensive line. The funny thing is that their line has no one on it that you would consider a star.
So for a second consecutive year, the Dirty Birds got the better of my beloved Bears. You look good Atlanta.

Shouts out to 12Kyle for accepting the challenge and his team for stepping up and handling their business. Sorry this was posted so late. But good looking.

Not sure if there are any Cincinnati Bengals fans in the building but if so you know the routine hit us up for the challenge.

--Driza Dre--

Friday, October 16, 2009

NFL Blog Challenge - Week 6

Well after a week off I hope our Chicago Bears are well rested and ready for this Sunday's game. This week we're challenging 12kyle's Atlanta Falcons. The bears have had a good season start so far beginning at 3-1. However, the Falcons have the exact same record at this point in the season. We're down for our team and have confidence in them, but will admit that this will not be an easy win. So with that said let's get it! **G-Dep Voice**

If your team is playing ours this season feel free to hit us up for a challenge. See the first NFL Blog Challenge for the basic rules and regulations. The Chicago Bears schedule is below so hit us up to get in on the action. Namely we're looking to cover the next 2 weeks so we're looking for any Ohio folks that represent either the Bengals or the Browns.

Any fans of The Bears or The Falcons feel free to get in on the trash talking that will be taking place Sunday night. We'll be doing so via twitter. @crecks or @12kyle.

Let's Go Bears!!!

--Driza Dre--

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Testimony Tuesday

Although this is being posted on a Wednesday this was technically done on a Tuesday. Welcome to another Testimony Tuesday. Last week's Testimony was a little off the hook. But we went ahead and broke it down the best we could. Lol. This week we received a couple of emails and then an anonymous comment to the blog. We'll be using that comment for today's "Testimony Tuesday." As always if you have a testimony that you want to share or are seeking advice or our opinions on you can always leave an anonymous comment on our blog or email Without further ado here is this week's "Testimony Tuesday."

Dear Brothers',

A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?

C-Recks: Aight well I'll start by saying 3 words "game recognize game." Not that I've ever used this particular type of game, but if you've seen 1 you've seen em' all.

Driza Dre: right

CR: The comment doesn't specify, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that anonymous' friend is a female and the friend hitting her up for sex is a male. The reason being because this is only game that a nigga would use.

DD: That's what I was trying to figure out. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Well the first thing I thought was this... It ain't no way in hell this will be a one time thing

CR: Right

DD: So off the top you gotta let yo friend know what kinda situation she's getting herself into. Now she may care, she may not. But in my experiences, women may be comfortable with doing something like that once, maybe even twice. But most women absolutely will not be the woman on the side. And it sounds like that's the kinda situation she's headed for.

CR: Not only that, but according to the letter anonymous' friend is married and the guy trying to sleep with her knows her husband. We don't know if the guy is married as well we just know "it's a very very unhappy home." But I'm sure if they're close friends that she knows the guys significant other as well.

DD: Man, that just sounds like some all around "All My Children" stuff right there. My advice, anything that sounds like a Maury Povich episode, stay away!!! The lie detector determined, that was a lie.

CR: Lol. Yeah I totally agree man. I'd say think of this situation the way skinny brothers like myself think of Jail! Basically that's some shit you definitely wanna stay far far away from. LoL. Trust this guy is running or has run the same game before. And its probably like the wet tissue theory he throws it out there and sees if it sticks. Or if he gets to stick. Lol

DD: Of course. You can't knock the brotha for trying.

DD: And for the person who hit us with this question, honestly, you want to be very careful with the advice you give your friend. Cuz when this all blows up, you don't want to get hit by any of the flying emotional debris.

CR: And for her to even think of asking her friend (anonymous) for advice on what to do leads me to almost think its something deeper going on in her personal home life. Like maybe she's the one that's in a "very very unhappy home." The only reason I say that is because we all know that the average woman whose home life is all good usually wouldn't even think twice about declining this offer over and over until she got tired of it. And then when she did she would just end the friendship because he's obviously not respecting her marriage. So I think the friend may even be looking for some type of support or hoping someone (namely her friend anonymous) will give her the green light and tell her she should go ahead and do it so that she can have an excuse to go through with what she may be wanting to do anyways.

DD: aw yeah. When you know you're wrong, you're always hoping that some how some way, somebody will feel you, and green light your behavior. But that's when you really have to be a "good" friend and tell yo girl, don't go down this path. Good friend doesn't mean Yes man or Yes woman.

CR: Right cuz as a friend you know where this is headed we all do even Stevie Wonder can see that.

DD: On a quick side note, when Stevie passes, who's the new blind person that we can say saw something coming?

CR: Lol. Man Ray is gone too. So IDK good question though I'll think on it. Lol

DD: But back to the nature at hand. I would tell your friend to not go down that path. It ain't worth it. Even if you get one night of good sex, it may blow up, and cost you a lifetime of pain. You just never know. Not to mention the Karma aspect.

CR: Man exactly and as we all know "Karma Karma Karma come back to you harder!" I say anonymous' advice to their friend should definitely not support this type of behavior. If this guy is so "unhappy" at home he needs to get a divorce! Hell with Usher's new song "Papers" its giving people motivation to get divorced. So he needs to go home and put that song on repeat and call an attorney. The same goes for your friend if in fact she's unhappy and considering adultery as well.

CR: Idk how long she's known the guy, but the bottom line is that he's just being a nigga. And **in my Busta Rhymes voice ** "and that's just what niggaz do." Lol. I mean keep it real the nigga is just trying to hit. He's probably been eyeing that for as long as they've been friends and she's blocked or denied all his advances so this is his last ditch effort. And he's now hittin her with the guilt trip trying to weigh on her heart strings.
CR: I can hear the nigga crying now, "I'm so unhappy at home and for 1 night only you could at least make me happy." I'm not hating or knocking his game but nigga please! Or at least that's what I'd be saying if that was my friend. But you act accordingly. Good luck to you and to your friend.

Well that's all we got if you have any advice to add for anonymous please leave it in the comments. And if you have a testimony you can leave it in the comments or send an email to

--Driza Dre--

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Testimony Tuesday

Its that time again. Yep it's Tuesday and we are back at you with an all new "Tuesday Testimony." If you need the background on how this new segment began then please check out the first "Tuesday Testimony" from last week. Well after opening up the floor for new testimonies we've had a subtle response thus far. This week we received 1 anonymous comment and also a couple of e-mails, which is more than we expected. Unfortunately, at this time we can only post 1 per week, so the others may be used for later posts. But by all means keep em' coming in.

Again you can send in your testimony by anonymously commenting to any of our posts or you can send an email to All emails and comments will remain anonymous. However, as always we will give our honest and possibly blunt opinion. Then we may mix it with a few jokes just because that's what we do. But regardless we'll give you the real deal. Then open it up to the readers and their opinions.

So with that said let's get into today's "Tuesday Testimony." To begin just keep in mind the subject of this letter is not PG-13. It's not XXX but it's probably somewhere between Nc-17 and X. LoL. Just a warning to those that may be a little more conservative feel free to exit now before the elevator doors close! LoL. But by all means don't take offense this is a grown up blog and we're having a grown up conversation. This week's Testimony was sent in via email:

So about a month ago I caught my guy watching a porno movie. He wasn't doing anything except watching. Now it wasn't anything major because as a woman I know that all men watch porn. But it was a slight shock to see him doing it in front of me. Well he didn't stop watching as I came into the room and he actually asked if I wanted to watch with him.

Now I'm not going to pretend like I've never watched porn before in my life, but I will admit it's never been to the extent that a guy would watch. And I've never watched with a partner before. To be honest it really doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather do my own thing than watch someone else do it. But when he asked I did notice how turned on he was and thought it would be a "fun" experience for both of us.

Well long story short I agreed to watch with him. But as I sat next to him watching I found myself asking him a lot of questions, laughing at certain thiings I saw, and even talking about the actors in the film. After a while he grew tired of my antics and turned off the movie and left out the room. I was hoping we would doing a reenactment of the film ourselves but I could see he wasn't even aroused any more.

Since that episode I've walked in on him watching porn again a couple of times but now he just turns off the movie when I walk in. I don't care that he watches porn without me, but I would also like it to be something we can do together as well and then reap the benefits of it there after. Basically I want him to feel comfortable to invite me to watch with him again, but I don't know how to approach the subject.

What should I do?
Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Man this letter here is pretty funny only because I'm sure every man in the world that has watched porn with a woman has experienced this.

Driza Dre: yeah, I would have to agree

CR: And I can just feel my man's pain

DD: See the thing that women don't realize is that porn is a whole different world for men, And for the men that are brave enough to try to bring their woman into that world, well its usually not a positive outcome.

CR: I think instead of the FBI warning at the beginning of the porn movies about bootlegging there should be some other basic rules. Lol

DD: right

CR: Something like The 10 Porn Comandments

DD: Can't tell me nothing bout this porn. My Mr. Marcus Niggaz. Lol

CR: Lmao you a damn fool. (If you have never heard Biggie's "10 Crack Commandments" then you may have missed that symbolism).

CR: But shit since u sparked it hit em wit that #10 rule and we can go back and forth.

DD: Well shit, I say # 10 is number one to me. As a woman, you can't take it personal. I mean, yo man watching porn doesn't mean that he's not into you or that he's into any of those crazy things. Its just different. That's all. So don't hold it against him. I mean, if you watching porn with him, I'm sure he won't be trippin over the guy's packages that you'll be looking at. So don't sweat him.

CR: Well I'll say #9 is STFU! Oh sorry let me be nice please hush during porn time. A man doesn't need u killin his porn high by talking and asking a million questions about what's going on or how she can make her ass can clap like a whole audience on a game show. Or how fake her orgasms are or how nasty this or that is. We know all that but its porn you get what you get.

DD: In the same vane as #9, #8 is, just because he's watching a porn with a white girl in it doesn't necessarily mean that he's in to white women. Again, its a fantasy world. Plus, white porn is just better than black porn. I mean, if you put in a black porn, you have to sit and listen to some niggaz demo tape before the F*CKING starts. Sorry, but that gets old

CR: Lmao! Yeah I can't mix porn and rap! As Kanye said "that's why we watch your porn in fast forward cuz we don't wanna hear that weak shit no mo!" Lol

DD: Exactly. Lol. Also to the porn emcee. The next one of you niggaz to get a deal will be the first one of you niggaz to get a deal. Give it up! Unless you count Lloyd Banks/Brian Pumper. LOL

CR: Lmao I knew the Lloyd Banks was coming. **In my best Lloyd Banks voice**"Nigga what you say!" Lmao

CR: Well #7 plays off of that I say that women can't see their guy's porn stash and see some freak nasty stuff and assume her guy is automatically into all of that shit. Again its fantasy if he likes to watch 5 chicks get it on, trust its pure fantasy because the nigga will neva get that lucky! Eva! Lol

CR: Unless he watches gay porn then that's a totally different ball game and he may be batting someone else's balls. Lol. Or if it's anything else that's just out of the ordinary then "Houston we Have a Problem."

DD: Well, I draw the line at clown porn. If yo dude is watching people with big feet and squeezable red noses having sex, you have a right to ask some questions. LOL

DD: Tell him DrizaDre said so! Cuz hell, I wanna know why?

CR: Lol yeah if its some way off the wall shit then I will say u have the right to think something is wrong and even question it. Cuz some stuff like midget porn, beasteality or sick stuff like that is just weird and disturbing. But then again if he's into some off the wall stuff like that then I'm sure his porn stash isn't the first you've heard of the weird shit he's into.

CR: I'm talkin bout "normal" porn.

DD: Well, here's a serious tip for #6. If you've had enough of the porn, feel free at any time to spark off a session with your man. I've never heard of a man saying "naw baby, we can't have sex til I finish this Booty Talk #147. I mean, I do have to return it to the video store." If the porn has been on for two minutes or more, he's probably ready to throw down. So reach out and touch, or whatever it is that you do to spark it. Its time.

CR: No doubt! Lol

CR: Well #5 has to be take mental notes. Trust if you see something in the porn feel free to see if you can make the same happen in the bed. Your man will be pleasantly surprised and give you plenty of props (or something better) for trying it out without him having to ask or beg you to try it.

DD: Unless its some gay shit, If so, refer back to rule #7

CR: Lmao exactly

DD: #4 may sound redundant..... And it is STFU! But let me add this little tid bit. That doesn't just go for the particular day or night you'r watching the porn, but in the days after as well. There ain't nothing worse than being blindsided with something like "So you don't expect me to do a threesome just because we watched the porn last night?" I mean, that's a crazy comment over the breakfast table!

CR: Man yeah you don't know whether to ask to pass the K-Y or the syrup. lol

DD: LMAO. Better get it right!

CR: Well #3 is this ALL guys watch porn! Period point blank. I would feel like I deserve a no snitching fine if this wasn't a known fact! So please don't act surprised, upset, pissed, confused or whatever else when you catch your man watching porn or happen to "stumble upon" his porn stash! It is what it is and refer back to rule #10 when u find it

DD: Do I have to reiterate rules four and nine? Ok, well rule #2 is enjoy yourself. Its just porn. You haven't committed a cardinal sin or anything. At least I don't think so. But you'll have to take that up with your particular God. I'm not saying that you always need porn to make the sparks fly, but its a definite enhancer. And who knows, maybe that might help him to come to you and ask "What can I do for you to make it special". Just a Thought

CR: Well #1 then just sums them all up to me and I've already stated it. But it's simply It is what it is. Its porn. Its not real its not and never will be a replacement for real sex. Its not anything beyond its title, its porn. Its a billion dollar industry and they all get paid off people's desire to want to watch. As long as you keep it mind that it is what it is it will avoid plenty conflicts that arise that are porn related.

CR: I think the 10 Porn Commandments pretty much answer her question and if she can apply those rules her porn experience with her man will get better results. That's all I got but hit em' with a closing argument if you have one .

DD: Nope, the 10 speak for themselves. Damn if this ain't some of my best work actually. But apply the rules ladies, and you be the judge.
Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.

--Driza Dre--

Monday, October 5, 2009

Sweet Victory!!

Well in our first NFL Blog Challenge our Chicago Bears were victorious over Mr Chap and his Detroit Lions. It was a good 1st half and they gave us a run for our money. However, we had to put the hammer down on them in the 2nd half and shut them out. It felt good to sip my beer as I watched my Bears handle their business. But for losing Mr. Chap was a good sport and held up his end of the bargain and posted a blog about the challenge and the Bears victory. You can check it out here.

Check out the schedule football fans! The bears have a bye week next week. But we'll be right back at it come the following week vs the Atlanta Falcons and Cincinnati and Cleveland the 2 weeks after. If there are any Bengals or Browns fans make sure you holla at us for the challenge. We already have 12kyle over at 12th Planet as our next victim set for the Atlanta Falcons challenge. But we welcome any more Atlanta challengers to bring it on!

--Driza Dre--

Thursday, October 1, 2009

NFL Blog Challenge

Are you ready for some Foooooootballll???!!???

Well I'm not sure how many of you out there are football fans, but I'm sure those of you that are football fanatics like us are thrilled football season is back. I'm sure that everyone is loving being able to root on their favorite teams. As for us you should already know that we're die hard Chicago Bears fans. We've been down since the 80's and our last Super Bowl victory. Although we fell short a couple of years ago from bringing home that Super Bowl trophy we're confident we'll be back soon.

Now I must admit it has been an eventful season thus far and we're only 4 weeks in. There are a lot of good teams out there that came out the gate running and are trying to make themselves valid contenders this season. But regardless as die hard Bears fans we will ride or die with our team, and hopefully most of you feel that same way about your teams. Now not only are we ride or die fans if you've read our blog before you know that we are also very competitive and also like to gamble.

So with that being said we've decided to throw out the First Annual NFL Blog Challenge. So we're calling out all bloggers to step up and rep your NFL team. That's right our team vs. your team. When our team (The Chicago Bears) plays your team we want someone to accept this challenge. The blogger of the winning team gets bragging rights all season (or until the next time the 2 teams play). However, the blogger of the losing team must write a blog post admitting that their team lost to ours and give mad props to our Chicago Bears. You can do that in any form or fashion you choose just as long as you admit that your team was not up to par and lost the game. So are you down? Is your team good enough to compete? If so hit us up by either comment or emailing at

This season's Chicago Bear Schedule is listed below so be on the look out for when we play your team. Also, keep in mind it can be multiple bloggers vs us. The same rules apply. If we lose we'll give all that chose that team against ours their props. Also, we'll try to post a preview of that weekend's match up in a blog sometime before the game. Just keep in mind it's all fun and games we love the bears but we won't go to the extreme badgering a fellow blogger. However, that doesn't mean we won't talk some shit and exchange a few verbal jabs about the other team! LoL.

As for this Sunday's match up The Chicago Bears are taking on The Detroit Lions. Our first opponent in this NFL Blog Challenge is none other than MR. CHAP from the MR. CHAP Morning Show. He's accepted our challenge and is confident that his Lions will defeat our Bears on Sunday. Or as he was quoted to say: "I'm in. So I'm just gonna gone head and start braggin' on the Lions. THEN I'm coming to YOUR BLOG and talk super trash. THEN I'm coming back to MY site and blog about the game and how important this Sunday is." and "I really just needed a segway into talking about how bad the Lions are gonna put those Bears into early hibernation. AND we're gonna do it in Chicago."

Now I gave Mr. Chap his props when his team won their first game in over a whole season. I was proud they broke that streak. My brother's response to his comment was "I guess he and The Detroit Lions would know about hibernation, I mean his team just woke up for the first time in damn near 2 years!" LoL. I'll reserve my comments and trash talking until game day. So expect a lot of @ replies from me @crecks to @mrchap via twitter. So feel free to join in if you're one of my twitter followers.

Well regardless of the outcome, which I'm predicting will be in Da' Bears favor, whenever there is something riding on the game it makes it that much better to watch. So what are you waiting for rep your team and let's make this football season a little more interesting. Oh and to all my fellow Chicago Bloggers or readers please go pay a visit to Mr. Chaps wonderful site and leave some comments about how bad his team is going to lose on Sunday.

--Driza Dre--

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Testimony Tuesday

So for those of you that have yet to listen to us on The Jaded Nyer's blog radio show from last week, you have to take a listen to it. It was a very good show and it invoked a very good discussion amongst men and women. Here is the link for the show "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?". However, there was a particular part of the show where we were all discussing our pet peeves. Everyone was describing what their partner does or did that irks/irked the hell out of you in a relationship.

Well a few days after the show aired an anonymous reader/listener left a comment on our blog post. They wanted to weigh in on the whole pet peeve situation and chose to reveal theirs to us and hopefully get our opinion on their comment. We rarely receive anonymous comments so this was sort of out of the blue to us. However, since the person chose to be anonymous we decided to go ahead and reply to her in a blog. So then that spawned a whole new blog segment we will be calling "Testimony Tuesday."

So, if you have an anonymous Testimony or confession on any subject and want our opinions or that of our readers, please feel free to post an anonymous comment on our blog. It doesn't even have to be about you, it can even be a situation that someone you know is in and perhaps you just need a different perspective. Whatever the case go ahead and leave a comment or even send an email to and we'll make it a part of this new blog segment. All comments and emails will remain anonymous. Just keep in mind we may make light of the situation (because that's just what we do don't take offense), but in the end we'll try to give you some real, honest, and hopefully helpful advice.

So without further ado here is our first "Testimony Tuesday"...

Dear brothers

I've been reading & following your blog anonymously 4 a while now & I've never left a comment until now. After checking out u guys on the blog talk radio show the other night I wanted to make a comment & hopefully get your honest opinions on something. First off it was a good show & much like your blog u kept it real. So keep up the good work but right now I'm hoping you'll keep it real wit me too.

On the show when u were talking about pet peeves and what annoys u about your man/woman on the show I wanted 2 call in then but couldnt because my man was with me. I've been with my man 4 bout 2 1/2 years & we've been living together 4 the last 6months. While all is extremely well with our living together situation there is 1 thing he does that drives me nuts!!!! Now 2 some it may be petty but 2 me its become major.

My man is a bigger guy & he likes 2eat but I have no problems at all with his size itis perfectly fine wit me. But what I do have a problem with is 1 place he likes 2 eat & that's in the bed! And I don't mean in a sexual way! He literally will eat full meals snacks & deserts in the bed. I tried 2 deal with it but it got 2 a point I had 2 say something. Well that conversation didnt go over 2 well & it turned into a huge argument. The bottom line is that even after saying something he still continues 2 do it!

I love this man & feel he's the one 4 me but this is an extremely frustrating & aggravating habit of his & I dont know what 2 do 2 get him 2 quit it.

Please give me your honest opinion & please keep it 100% real as I'm at my witts end with this situation.

Thanks in advance.

Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Well its needless to say she loves her man like a fat kid loves cake, but it seems he's definitely trying to have his cake and eat it in bed too. Lol.

**After a 1 hour pause**

CR: You get my response man?

Driza Dre: Damn man, my bad, must've had a weed flashback

DD: So my man is leaving crumbs in the bed... Well I say be happy its only cookie crumbs. Lol

CR: Lol. Clearly there are much worse problems in relationships. And although "he eats in bed and u not talking sexually" he's obviously handling his biz in that regard or she would've put him on blast even more! But my first instinct is to move the bed into the kitchen or dining room 1 day while he's gone and move the dining room table to the bedroom! Lol

CR: Or better yet start rationing out the P. That'll always make a nigga straighten up. And by P I don't mean Pudding or Peach Cobbler unless those are some of your freaky little nicknames for the P. LoL. But for real every time he eats in bed put the P on lock. Or if you're bold put a cake in the bed next to you in some sexy lingerie. Then tell him like that T.I. song and say he can have whichever he likes. Just be prepared that him and Betty Crocker may be creeping on the low and he may not choose you. Lol

DD: While he and Betty might go back a lot further, ain't no real negro gone pass up the P for the sake of eating in the bed. While this issue may seem petty to him he's still gonna be smart enough to know that he can have his snacks elsewhere, and keep the bed for his ''goodies''

CR: Aight well in all seriousness I would say she definitely needs to talk to him about it again. I'm not sure in what manner she may have approached him the first time, but if he blew up over it then it somehow must've struck a nerve. Maybe he thought she was talking about or complaining of his weight. But clearly that's not an issue, as she expressed in her comment. So maybe she needs to reassure him of that and just let him know she just prefers to keep the bed free of food.

DD: Or at minimum, just stress that she'd at least like him to clean up after himself. I figure that though he still might not appreciate her coming at him, he may oblige her by trying to be neater

CR: I'm just thinking there's gotta be a compromise here. But if not, it may be risky but put some bugs in the bed. If he sees that maybe he'll know eating in the bed is off limits. No one wants to eat with bugs nor sleep with them.

DD: That's REAL extreme. If you gotta go that far, it may be time to get rid of him

CR: Yeah its extreme but she obviously loves the man but he may just be a little extra persuasion. That is if talking to him and compromising doesn't work. But I can't see him being absolutely unreceptive if she approaches him in a kind and truly concerned manner. Unless there is really a deeper issue that is not on the surface.

DD: So you look at it like Bernie Mac: "they gotta learn, they gotta learn!"

CR: Lol. Well if this was who wants to be a millionaire my final answer would be this: Try talking to him again and see why he got upset the last time the subject came up. Maybe its something deeper and he maybe felt you were attacking his weight. And from there just reassure him by letting him know the only issue is the eating in the bed not his weight. If that doesn't work then maybe extreme is the answer. If nothing else extreme will get his attention at how serious the issue is to you. If you 2 have been together as long as you have and love each other as much as you say then I have no doubts that you will get past this. I predict he will compromise and the only eating in the bed won't leave any crumbs behind, at least we hope. Lol

DD: As my brother discussed on the radio show, you have to pick your battles. Assess if the crumbs in bed is really that major. If it is, then you may need to take drastic measures to bring him around to your way of thinking. If its not that major, then approach the subject in a manner that's more of a suggestion than a Relationship death nail. And just maybe in the end, you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too. Lol

Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any tips or helpful advice to Anonymous please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post.



Monday, September 28, 2009

You Can't Handle the Spoof!

Ever since back in the mid and late 80's when Weird Al Yankovic was doing spoofs of Michael Jackson songs I've been been a fan of the spoof. I guess I feel as even though their only copying what someone else has done they're still being creative. To take what someone else has already written and then write your own version and flip it into something comical to me takes some talent.

Well I recently came across a new spoof of Jay-Z's "Run this Town" which I found was absolutely hilarious. Affion Crockett is a damn fool. So that then prompted me to go ahead and do a good ol' youtube search and see what other spoof videos are out there. Unfortunately, I didn't find as many as I hoped to. So this went from a top 10 blog to just 9 of the ones I found and my usual commentary. But it's Monday so I figure the least I can do today is give everyone a laugh. So enjoy!

"Run This Town"

As I stated Affion is a Damn Fool. The Chris Brown impression is beyond funny. And I swear if he don't look just like Kanye in this video. He got him down to a T.

"Duffle Bag Boy"

I actually found this a while ago and I cracked up as soon as I saw it. I wanted to use it for another blog but I never got around to it. But these guys were O.C. for doing this spoof.

"Chopped & Screwed"

I had to do a double take on this one because I thought it was actually T-Pain for a second.

"Best I Ever Had"

Affion's version of the Best I ever had is too much for me. LoL. And his portrayals of Drake and Weezy are too damn funny.

"Best I Ever Had"

Here's another version of Best I ever had. I had to put this one too, even though I don't think this guy raps as good as Affion he looks just like Drake and his hand movements match Drakes to a T. LoL.

"Mr. Carter"

Another Affion Classic. Here he does his Weezy and Jay-Z impression. Wayne on Jay's Lap is hilarious.

"Black Republicans"

Affion Crockett - Lil Wayne and Juelz Santana Spoof
Free Music Videos at

LMAO @ this song/video. I'm a Juelz Fan but I swear if I wasn't watching this video and just heard the song I would think this was just a wack Juelz verse. I swear the way he's rapping is identical to Juelz especially when he repeats 3xs in a row. LoL.


Weird Al Yankovic - Fat (Official Music Video) - The best free videos are right here
Here's one of the Classic Weird Al, Michael Jackson Spoofs I was referring to in the beginning.

"Beat It"

Here's another Weird Al cover of a Michael Jackson classic.

If anyone has any other good spoofs please send them to me I love to laugh.


Monday, September 21, 2009

Talk To Me!

That's right ya'll despite having limited content on our blog now a days (We promise we'll do better), we are making some major moves. The brothers have been personally invited by fellow blogger The Jaded NYer's to guest host her Blog Talk Radio show.

The topic at hand is "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?" This should make for a very interesting topic if conversation. Myself I've recently entered into a newer relationship, but as you all know I've been married before so I have a whole lot to share. And my brother well he brings over 15 years of an on again off again relationship experience to the table. No offense bro. LoL. The female guest host that will be trading jabs with us will be none other than fellow blogger The F$%k-It List. I will warn you that we've been studying last year's Mars Vs. Venus radio show like it was the game tape for the big game so we'll be prepared. LoL.

But over all on some real The Jaded Nyer is very cool and down to earth and her blog and blog radio show are both very good. I've read and I've listened before and I don't endorse anything that I don't like unless I'm getting paid and I'm not so you can trust me on this. lol. But I invite all those that enjoy our blog and our view/perspective on love, life and relationships to tune in to the show tonight. The show begins at 10pm EST sharp. Feel free to click the link above naming the show or the link at the end of this post to go directly to the show. Or you can go to 's page and be linked to the show from there. If you are a twitter friend of mines I'll be twittering the link as well. If you aren't a follower of mines you can follow me here @crecks. But if you listen to the show you can either call in and make your comments or you can make comments via the chat room on the site.

So again where will everyone be tonight at 10pm EST? Hopefully clicking the link below and listening in to the Jaded Nyer's Blog Talk Radio show tonight. And I've made consideration on starting us a blog talk radio show so if we get good feedback we may be coming to a blog talk radio show near you. LoL.

"Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?"

P.S. Make sure you call in because I just heard there is even going to be give-a-way contest for the caller with the WORST & BEST BF/GF story; there will be 2 winners announced at 10:55worst.

The call in # is (718) 766-4011 I know damn well ya'll got some stories so make sure that you call in and tune in tonight.

If you missed the live version of the show shame on you! But you can still click on the link and listen to the show in its entirety. Leave your feedback and let us know what you think.

--Driza Dre--

Friday, August 21, 2009

Letter to Britt

What you're about to read is something I wrote probably 4-5 months ago. Unfortunately, one of my cousins was convicted of a crime and went to jail. Well upon hearing he was actually going in I knew that it was going to be hard on the family. The night before he had to turn himself in (the end of last year) me, my bro, my girl (best friend then), and my cuzz all kicked it out. Well needless to say I ended up way gone off alcohol that night as did he. I remember waking up to a call from him. After saying hello he simply stated "Yous an Asshole you know that." LoL. Apparently I was the cause of him getting fucked up. LoL. Oh what a memory.

Unfortunately my communication with my cuzz has been damn near nothing since that morning. I somehow expected that it would slim though. I know you're probably thinking you can always write him. Well unfortunately, I knew that me being able to sit and write him would be a difficult thing to do. As many blogs, poems, and songs as I write you'd think sitting and penning a few paragraphs to my cuzz would be easy.

Well I will admit that it has been even harder than I expected. I definitely felt bad about it, yet still couldn't get through enough lines to write a letter. However, I knew he was doing okay as he called and checked in with him mom and even my brother fairly often. Well a few weeks ago I got a call from a blocked phone #. Normally I would disregard such a call, but I was expecting an important call so I answered. I was too shocked when I heard it was my cuzz calling me from jail.

When I heard the voice on the other end he sounded his normal silly, jovial, and positive self. Of course I apologized for not writing. But he definitely understood. He actually stated that his mom had been printing out our blogs here and sending them to him. That made me happy that even though I hadn't written, he was still in touch with some of what had been going on via our blog. Well after that conversation I decided to dig out what you're about to read below. Although I hadn't written him a letter I used my other talent and wrote him a song. My intentions when I wrote it some months back were to do a youtube video and actually perform this song. I never got around to doing that.

But for your reading pleasure you can envision me reciting these words below. I wrote it using the "Letter to B.I.G." beat that Jadakiss used. I know everyone was doing their own version of this song back then, so this was my version. The video is below. I would have preferred to have just the instrumental playing while you read but I was unable to find it.

So without further ado, here it is ya'll my "Letter to Britt."

Its been a few months you're probably wondering why I haven't wrote yet/ the truth is/ its no excuse/ I just can't focus/ to think of you being locked down just messes with my mental/ so I scribble/ a couple lines and just put down my pencil/ to explain how much I miss you/ was just hard to do/ easiest way was to sit and write these bars for you/ you behind bars its true/ but I still reminisce about/ the night before you turned yourself in and how we kicked it out/ I drank away the pain I didn't wanna see you go/ my younger cuzz man I used to watch and see you grow/ now you all grown up doing things like a man do/ got caught up in some shit life don't go the way we planned to/ too...just gotta handle what they hand you/ you know the court system they just tryna make examples/ outta young black youth/ the truth is hard to swallow/ too many dead or in jail no one is promised tomorrow/ my motto/ to keep it movin despite circumstances/ we all make mistakes but deserve second chances/ so when we get out/ just take a different route/ so much going on in the world I hate you missing out/ your baby girl getting bigger with every day that pass/ I know you gotta make that cash/ but I pray that's past/ future's yet to be determined they say life's what you make it/ anxious/ for your release but just gotta stay patient/ mean while just keep your head high/ aimed to the sky/ I wipe away your moms tears but I'm too gangsta to cry/ while you facing your time/ try to focus on God/ think of life as a poker game no folding the cards/ knowing its hard/ and I still can't believe myself/ you get out I got your back if you need my help/ this letter is heart felt/ I hope it reach you well/ I pray your time flies by and you find peace in jail/ when you read this mail/ know that when you get home/ celebration on/ got them bottles of patron/ ain't been long/ but it feels like forever to me/ and if you been through this storm then try to weather with me/ whether it be/ just a few months/ or a life sentence/ we all just tryna see through the dark like night vision/ in an instant/ dark nights change to bright days/ when christ came/ we all noticed how your life changed/ its quite strange/ I'm sure it made you a better man/ cuz what you going through man/ I know that I never can/ as the sands of time pass through the hour glass/ know the future ain't always defined by our past!!!

Love You cuzz, can't wait to see you come November!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Don't Save the Last Dance

"People don't dance no mo' all they do is this..." Goodie Mob

I'm Not sure if Goodie Mob was trying to be prophetic in their statement they made in those lyrics back in 1998, but it seems they were right. I will forewarn you that if you watch the videos on this particular blog that it may take away minutes of your life that you can't get back. I unfortunately was subjected to hours I can't get back while searching for these vidoes. So just know I took one for the team on this one. lol. Also, I apologize in advance if this is a bit long winded.

So as we all know the majority of music (especially rap) these days sucks. And when I say sucks I mean sucks like a vacuum, on a hoe stroll, standing next to a black hole. Sorry for the visual, but I'm sure you got my point now. I just doubt this is what our fore-fathers in hip-hop had in mind 30 years ago when they thought about where the craft would be in the future. This is precisely why I don't like to listen to the radio. The few times I have tuned in as of late, I often hear the ads requesting the citizens to help keep the radio free. They encourage us to call or write our local congressmen about the pay for performance tax. I don't know all the issues regarding the tax, but to be honest I could care less. The radio rarely plays anything I like to hear, so if they have to pay to play that crap then that's what they get for playing it.

So keeping on the topic of (C)Rap music I must admit that I can sometimes barely tolerate most of what falls into this category. But there is a particular trend in rap music that I have zero tolerance for. I'm sure from the title of this blog and my opening quote you realize that it's those Goddamn Dance songs! You just don't know how bad they irk the hell out of me!

Some of you that perhaps like these songs or just don't see my point may be asking yourself but why? Why don't you like them? Well it's simple first off the songs to me are just that...SIMPLE. It sounds like my 5 year old son wrote these lyrics using nursery rhymes as reference. As a rapper I find them highly insulting. Second, upon hearing them and not even seeing the dance I can visualize how stupid the dances look. Lastly, it's just another dumb ass trend. It's monkey see monkey do. So and so wrote a dance song so let me do the same. It's no different than when every rapper was a rock star and made rock songs, or when everyone wanted to rap fast. It's all the same. It simply boils down to No originality!

So when I began to write this blog I figured I can't just go in on the dance songs when most of them I have yet to see. Let me give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I spoke too soon and could perhaps adopt some of these new dance moves the next time I hit the dance floor. Well good people, here come the minutes of your life you won't get back. Sorry to say. I spent hours watching this crap and finding these videos so I hope you enjoy the Uncle Tom Foolery you're about to see.

Stanky Leg

When I first heard this crap I cringed then I pictured what the dance would be in my head. Well when I finally saw this video my suspicions were confirmed. Just down right ridiculous. Ugh! Not stopping with the success of their first dance song. The follow up single by the GS Boyz is "Booty Dew." Feel free to look that one up yourself if you want to see how it's done. The videos I found may be a little too racy for some viewers.

Swag Surfin

Now when I first heard this song I was down in ATL back in May. I liked the beat and it was semi-catchy. Well by the time it came to Chicago Radio they of course played it out. And when I heard it was a dance song it immediately went on my do not play list. I get it the motions of the dance mimic what a surfer would do. But it still looks stupid. No thanks.

Chicken Wang

I'm almost sad to say the originator of this song is from Chicago. I love my city and try to rep the fellow artists from Chi. But I would be lying if I didn't say Chicago puts out a lot of garbage music. Not to mention we try to be like everyone else, so knowing that, this song is not a huge surprise. But watch as this guy demonstrates this dance. The bird flap are you for real? I mean Harold's Chicken (As seen in the video is good chicken but not good enough to make up a damn dance too. I'm mad this grown ass man doesn't even realize how dumb he looks! Damn Shame! Then he mentioned another dance soon to come "The George Jefferson." Oh lord please no!

Bird Walk

I personally can't stand Soldier boy so it's no wonder I didn't like this one either. But after the success of the Soldier Boy you should've known he'd be coming with another dance. This looks just as stupid as the first one to me.

Soldier Boy

I don't want to say this one started it all but it was definitely one of the more popular dances. I recall first hearing of Soldier Boy some years ago from one of my younger cousins. I heard him playing the song from his phone and doing this dumb ass dance. I just laughed at him and thought to myself there's no way a song or dance like that could ever become popular. Well lo and behold 2 years later I eat my words about the popularity. But I don't change my opinion it's still a stupid dance.

Ricky Bobby

I have never seen the movie Talladega Nights before, but apparently this dance is based on the lead character in that movie Ricky Bobby (played by Will Farrell). Perhaps if I saw the movie I would understand the meaning behind the dance more. But I didn't have another 2 hours to spend watching a dumb movie to figure out a dumb dance.

Walk it out

The best thing about this song to me was the re-mix with Andre 3000. Besides that thee song was crap. The dance is just about the same if you ask me. But I guess it's not as bad as some of the more recent ones. I know DJ Unk also did the song "2-Step." But I was unable to find anything depicting that particular dance.

The Jerk

Okay when I watched this video I first thought wasn't that the "Kid n' Play" dance they just did at the beginning? Then I thought was this nigga pretending to jump an imaginary rope backwards? Wtf is this the actual dance? They look like fake break dancers in pants that are way tighter than any man should ever wear. The Jerk? Yeah that's the perfect name for what they look like doing this dance. I'm good on this one.

Halle Berry

When I first heard the song I figured well it's Hurricane Cris so typical crap he put out before. I mean I think Halle Berry is fine too (top notch), but she gets her own song? Well I had no clue until doing research for this blog that there was a damn dance to the song. The video is from the Ellen Show and has Halle Berry talking about the song/dance and doing it as well. Halle Berry and any other woman can do this dance all day. She looks good doing it. But no grown ass man should be doing this dance!

Roll Your Neck

Just as indicated on the last dance and most of these dances I'll say it again "No grown ass man should be doing this dance." With that said I bring you a new dance that has yet to hit the national market yet according to the video. It's called roll your neck. Well it's self explanatory. The guys doing it in this video may as well change the name of the dance to "out the closet." Fuckouttahere with this!

Lean with it Rock with it

Again we go back a couple years and see how the dance song craze began. We all remember the lean with it rock. Then Lil' Jon came with snap ya fingaz, which was just another variation of the same dance if you ask me.

Shoulder Lean

Here's the thug version of the dance song. I guess Dro and T.I. were a little too hood to come up with a corny dance song. So they came up with the shoulder lean. I know gangstas don't dance but it's okay to do the shoulder lean. If you say so.

Chicken noodle soup

This I song to me was horrible. I'm not from Harlem nor have ever been. But I guess it was a big thing out there. So of course someone had to come up with a song for the dance. So here we have the chicken noodle soup dance. I still don't know why it's called that. Campbells makes some good soup, but I don't know if that necessarily warrants a song and dance. But then again who am I.

Harlem Shake

I blame Puffy (or Diddy as some call him) for bringing this dance to the forefront. Honestly, this could've stayed in Harlem. However, after he had the little kids doing this dance in the "Let's Get It" video. Everyone was doing it. Again, as evidenced in the video grown men should never have been doing this dance. The comedian "smokey" described this dance best. It looks like what happens to a crack head after they hit the pipe. LoL.

Crip Walk

No disrespect to anyone's gang or anything but again I didn't know that gangstas danced. I'm not sure which crip invented the crip walk, but I guess he made it cool for them to dance. Since then it's become more mainstream and everyone from lil' Bow Wow were doing it. But I people like Xzibit, and Snoop made songs about getting your walk on.

Tootsie Roll

Let's take it back to what like 94? The 69 Boyz were some of the originators and came up with this song and dance for what they called the Tootsie Roll. They took another popular dance "The Butterfly" and created their own variation called the "Tootsie Roll." I'm still not sure why it was called this, but I'm sure the Tootsie brand saw an increase in their sales over the 2 year span this song and dance were popular.

Humpty Dance

If you ask me Shock G was a mogul in the making back in the early 90's. He already rapped as himself in the group Digital Underground. But then he thought of the bright idea to create an alter Ego named Humpty Hump. Humpty was supposed to be Shock's cousin who got his nose burned and wore the humpty nose/glasses because of that. Humpty also rapped. Many didn't know shock and hump were one in the same person. He then went on to make a song and dance called the humpty hump. He was one of the originators of the dance song. It's funny I've heard this song and seen the video hundreds of times, and he even breaks it down in a verse. However, I still don't know how the dance is done.

Well I'm sure I left out plenty of dances and songs. But the bottom line is that its a trend in rap music that will soon be played out and we'll be on to something new. I'm not hating on them I just don't like them. They have no substance and are all stupid looking. I'm not a big dancer anyways and even if I was these wouldn't appeal to me one bit. Also, I don't go to clubs that often, but the next time I do I won't be participating when these songs come on.

However, I will proposition any choreographers out there to hit me up. or @crecks on twitter. Let's come up with a stupid dance move and make a song out of it. You do the dance I'll write and produce the song. We can do it, it can't be that hard. Wait! I already got one! The "Hula Hoop." I can hear the hook for the song now. "Do the hula hoop, do the hula hoop, work them hips 'round like you would a hula hoop. Girl do the hula hoop, do the hula hoop, you can do it too, girl, don't think you too cute!!" The dance moves can mimic something like you would do while playing with a hula hoop. LoL. I'm clowing but I swear I'll write this shit. It would be a ghost written song however for MC Sambo or whoever I could find to be the artist. But I would gladly take the royalty checks for writing it. Matter of fact I'm going to copyright the lyrics today for all you biters out there. LoL. That's it ya'll sorry it was so long.


Thursday, August 6, 2009

Life After Death

"It sounded like Vietnam man."

I nor him had ever been in the Vietnam war; However, as he described the story it was reminiscent of stories told to me by my Grandfather who actually had been in the Vietnam war.

I sat there listening intently. I was in awe at the words coming out of his mouth. A lump formed in my throat that I couldn't even begin to attempt to swallow away.

"Man we kicked it out at club Ruby that night. We didn't get into it with anyone it was all good we had a good time. After the club we went to Maxwell's right off of the E-way. It was six of us in the van. As we're riding along I barely had 2 bites of my polish when bam!!

They began to shoot up the van. "Man it sounded like Vietnam."

"They shot over 20 times into the van. Elliot got hit 6 times. Then one of our other guys in the back seat also got hit once. We didn't see anything. It all happen so fast. The craziest part is that I was in the passenger seat. But after leaving the club I was cold and the driver had the air blasting so I was trying to change seats with someone in the back. But no one would switch with me. They even joked around and even threw me a blanket up to the passenger seat. So I could've easily been in that back seat as well."

"The only explanation the police could come up with was that it may have been some type of gang initiation. We were in a Hispanic neighborhood and you know those Mexican gangs you have to kill someone to be initiated."

The only response I could muster was man that's crazy. I mentioned it was so hard to imagine and I had just seen him the week before in the barber shop.

"Man I cut with him every day and have worked with him in different shops for 10 years, so imagine how it is for me. I still can't believe it. It still hasn't even hit me yet."

The subject then turned to his daughter. "Her 5th B-day was yesterday. I stopped by and dropped something off for her, but it just wasn't the same man." I replied "She's the same age as my son and also starting kindergarten next month." He replied back "Man my daughter is only a few years older. So that could easily be me."

As he said that I looked over at Elliot's old barber booth station. I noticed his barber chair was gone. However, they had created a make shift memorial in his honor. They had pictures up along with his obituary and flowers.

Of course still saddened by his loss. Seeing the memorial some how gave me a bit of comfort. I felt like it was great to honor his memory in that way.

If you read my last blog entry "Senseless" I talked about the tragic death of someone I knew Elliot Thompson, that was shot and killed a few weeks ago. The above story is recounted by someone that was there in the vehicle that he was shot in. Well a week prior to hearing the actual story I attended his funeral. Like all funerals this one was definitely a sad one. But for a few reasons this was sadder than most. Perhaps it was because he was still so young (only 31 years of age). Or perhaps it was because he was a young father (his daughter would be 5 this month and starting kindergarten next month). But when I think about it I think that what hit me most was the fact that I have seen myself in his place...

Let me explain what I mean when I state this. I am in no way a person that always discusses death. In fact, I don't even fear death. I realize it is something that will eventually happen and nothing I can do will prevent it when it's my time. So in my expect the worse hope for the best mentality, I simply hope and pray I stick around long enough to accomplish a few more things and see all those I love do the same.

However, when I think about death and really get around to answering the question of how and when I think I may kick the bucket, (buy the farm, push up daisies, meet my maker, give up the ghost or whatever death idiom you prefer), its pretty specific. Now I know you shouldn't speak n certain things because of the chance of speaking them into existence. However, as I stated and as we all know death is something that is unavoidable.

But to be real this incident that killed him was something that could have happened to anyone that was driving in that area at that particular time. I for whatever reason see myself going out in a sad unexpected manner such as this. Nothing that I provoked, nothing that I was doing reckless, nothing that was anticipated and I knew was bound to happen. However, I think it would/will be something swift and totally unexpected that will happen much before my time.

I say all that to say that today is barely promised and tomorrow is out of the question. It's a blessing of God that I'm sitting here typing these words. And if I'm here tomorrow to be able to do the same it's even more of a blessing. Life is precious. I enjoy living every single day I get to do so. Although I may see myself going out sudden and perhaps tragically, I pray God has a bigger plan for me, which includes living a long time and seeing my son (and/or future kids) and grand kids grow up and live their lives as well.

However, it's sad that some don't see just how precious lif is and will do things such as take another life. They don't even see how far past the person they're killing it affects. That's someone's father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandmother, grandfather, grandchild, etc.

For some reason it took me a good while to finally finish writing this blog as it stayed in draft for over a week. Sorry if it's all over the place.

But all I can say is embrace those you love and Live life. There are no guarantees in life except...Death.