The Y-Files

Just like most of you I've come across quite a bit of content on the Internet whether it was by chance or some one forwarded me some e-mail. Of that content some is shocking, some funny, some stupid and well others simply make me want to just say WHY? Well this segment is nothing special but it's just some things that make me ask that question. So, I've decided create "The Y-Files" that will display some of the bizarre and some times ignorant things that make me ask the question WHY? Unfortunately, most of the content will have to do with some of the things my people (Black People) do. Some of these pictures and or videos you've perhaps seen before. But if nothing else you'll probably get a laugh, probably shake your head, and ask the same question as me WHY? Well honestly as you continue to read, you may start with why?, but you'll probably finish with who?, what?, where? and even how? before it's said and done. Stranger and more bizarre things have happened. Welcome to the Y-Files... (Cue eerie music).

Well we don't have any eerie music so here's the song "Why" by JadaKiss featuring Anthony Hamilton it still fits the subject at hand.

Why are are black people are so damn innovative but for the wrong reasons? I've never built a soap box racer or anything like that. But as a kid I'm sure I wanted to and I'm also sure that they take a lot of work and even some skill to create. So to this young man I give props for taking the time to create this contraption, very innovative. But my problem with it is why make it ghettofied? Why would you put sub woofers on the back of a make shift bike and ride down the block? No one wants to hear you you blasting Lil' Wayne The Carter 3 or Young Jeezy's The Recession. Now if you're into building cars then go and get into a school that will teach you to the fundamentals of the craft. You never know in the future you could be designing the 2015 Ford Mustang. But instead you have this contraption. I don't know why but every time I look at this I keep waiting for Xzibit to pop out hosting a hood version of pimp my bike.

Why oh Why would you do this to your hair? First off, since when did orange and blue match? When you presented this idea to your hair dresser I would just like to know what she said? But even worse than that when it was done who told you this was cute? Whatever friend talked convinced ya'll asses to make a damn fool of yourselves is truly not a friend. Then, who really loves Kool-Aid this much that they would advertise it in their hair? You are not receiving a cent of advertising revenue for this treacherous fashion statement, so why even go there? Now as for the hairdo below WHY? I can't even believe she got a hair stylist to do this crap. Why would you want a hair style shaped like a helicopter? Oh wait I got one. Maybe her nick name is Bird. Then she lives in the ghetto. So put the 2 together = "Ghetto Bird." Don't act like ya'll never heard Ice Cube say that back in the day. Well this almost makes me appreciate the Kool-Aid. Does the propeller spin? Does she sleep standing up or flying? I'm lost man. Lastly, Why didn't her momma whoop her ass for wearing this out?

Why on earth would someone want their toe nails to be this long? Please tell me. I mean finger nail extensions I get but toes? At first I thought that they were a pair of pink heels until I looked closer. Obviously these are acrylic nails, but how would you walk in these with out them breaking off? How do you wear anything other than open toed shoes? Again, I'm confused I just don't get it. Well next up we have yet another free advertisement. Now I know pop or soda as some call it is refreshing. But do you really love it this damn much that you have to advertise it on your nails? And even if you do why not stick to one product or at least parent company? Even if one of these soft drink companies wanted to pay you for advertising they couldn't because some of the soft drinks are rivals and have different parent companies.

Why man oh Why? I'm sure you may have seen these pics online before. But I have to speak on this. What ever happen to prom being like the precursor to a young lady's wedding? Meaning that they would get dressed up and look beautiful and elegant just as a bride to be would on her wedding day. And the guys would dress to compliment the ladies. However, over the recent years something has changed. I don't know what it is but this younger generation is just off the chain like an escaped slave. Take a look at exhibit A. Now why in the world would you one even go to prom being this pregnant? I'd guess she's at least 6-7 months. Okay perhaps she didn't want to miss it being senior year and all. But then why in the hell would you wear a dress with the stomach cut out? You couldn't find a nice classy maternity dress? I know they make them I've seen plenty celebrities wear them when they're pregnant. And lastly, I'm no OBGYN but it looks to me like this girl has the markings of a C-Section already. So you mean to tell me it's Senior year and you're on kid #2? Why oh why Lord? Okay on to Exhibit B. I'm kind of at a loss for words on this one. I've seen more clothing on strippers at the strip club than what this girl has on. Is there a pole in the picture that I cant see? And the guy. His whole out fit belongs on one of our Man Up Rules. Are those silk pajama pants and slippers? Who are you the black Hugh Hefner? Why is your hair red? Just to match the outfit? Real Talk his ass looks like a new age version of Leroy from Fame. Young people please get your act together.

Why even wear pants at all? I mean if you're this hot and feel like you need to slice up your pants to expose air pockets or whatever you call your self doing, then why not just wear shorts? No one want to see half of your ass cheeks hanging out of your jeans that look like someone ran them through a paper shredder. I just hope this was done on purpose and that you haven't been wearing these jeans daily for like the last 10 years. Because if so you're a few threads away from wearing a pair of daisy dukes.

I know this looks like an ordinary toy gun, or water pistol, however; believe it or not this is a bar of soap ladies and gentlemen. Why on earth you would want to wash your ass with a bar of soap shaped like a gun? I have no damn clue. Are you this damn hood or so much of a thug that even your soap has to be Gangsta? I guess if you're this hard you probably wipe your ass with sand paper instead of tissue.

Now who hasn't been stuck in a car without air conditioning before? I know I have in the dead heat of Los Angeles in the summer. But as much as an idea like this may have popped into my head I would have never thought to put that plan into action. Well not this person. They put an air conditioner in the passenger window and have it running off a generator that's some how attached to the trunk. My question is why? Now granted they may have had these items already (the generator and air conditioner), but even still the effort it took to make this work couldn't have been worth it. I'm sure going to get your AC fixed would have taken much less of an effort and it couldn't have been that expensive. Plus, a sharp turn could easily send this generator or the air conditioner flying to the ground. As for the second image, why would you even bother to put a lock on this car? It doesn't look to be in the best condition, so I'm not sure who would really attempt to break into it. But I guess there's nothing wrong with a little extra security measure.

Now I love a good burger from McDonalds just as much as the rest of the world. Hell, I even had them for dinner last night. And who doesn't love a bag of Flamin' Hots? However, why on earth would you advertise your love for McDonalds or Cheetos on your car? Now if this driver owned a chain of McDonalds or even stock in Frito Lay (which makes Cheetos) then none of us would be scratching our heads, but the likelihood of that being the case is the equivalent to a man fresh out of jail being able to vote on November 4th. The sad thing is that if these people were smart they probably could make money advertising for McDonalds, Cheetos or some other companies on their cars. If you click Here there are companies that pay $200-400 a month or more for just this type of vehicle advertising. But you go ahead and keep on advertising for free it makes a lot of sense. The same applies for the vehicles below. If there's a grown man driving the Sponge Bob car he needs his ass whooped. The Cool "Whip," I guess I get the play on words since "whip" is a slang term for car, it's a "Cool Car." But the Newport 100's car? Why man? Why?

Why do they keep giving ignorant black people reality shows? I mean besides the fact people watch to laugh and they bring in ratings. But not only that why don't they keep it "real" on these shows? Before "Flavor of Love" premiered some years ago most people probably didn't even know who Flavor Flav was. He was a washed up hype man that was in and out of jail and on and off of drugs and probably damn near broke. That was until an appearance on the VH-1 show "The Surreal Life," took him on a wild ride to stardom. Now he has probably surpassed the fame he ever had as a hype man for the rap group Public Enemy. Now that's great for Flav and his 8 or 9 kids I'm not mad at that at all. However, I am mad that the fact that prior to Flavor of Love he probably couldn't even buy a female that was dyme status. But now he's had 2 seasons of this show and is able to pull females that look like Hoops? What kind of Bizarro world do I disappear to when I turn on VH-1? I know the contestants stand to gain possible fortune and fame for going on these shows but damn! If the producers showed me a picture of a female version of Flav and said you are competing for the love of this woman, and that I may have to kiss and or sleep with her to win well let's just say I'd promptly take myself out of that competition. I'm Not hating by any means, but Flavor Flav is not a sex symbol so Why oh why ladies why?

I know this The Y-Files but I'm stuck asking myself what is this? I hope to God it's not a woman. But then again I'm damn near throwing up on myself thinking it's a man. What are they wearing? And I don't know what's in the bag. But if it's more clothes like the ones he/she's wearing I hope they're walking to the nearest trash can to throw them away or to the nearest incinerator to burn them. Why on earth would you dress like this in public? I promise if I was walking or driving down the street and saw this I'd be looking up in the sky for a UFO because clearly we're being invaded by beings from another planet.

Now does this even make any sense? I've heard of thinking "outside of the box" but come on. Why would you put a box on wheels and push a kid around in it like it's a stroller? This can't be safe. It doesn't even look as if the box is secured down. So the slightest bump and this kid is eating pavement. Is she this lazy? I don't see why she doesn't just pick the kid up and carry him. Or better yet he appears to be big enough to walk. I don't know how far she's walking but I'm sure that she could have found better means to transport the child. It looks like a pretty run down area. I know there's always a shopping cart abandonned somewhere in the ghetto. She could have pushed him in a shopping cart and it would have been safer. I don't know if she found that box or just bought a new TV. But if she bought a TV and used the box for the stroller then her priorities are way out of order.

I know that on hot summer days in the hood kids will do stuff like have water fights and open up fire hydrants to keep cool. They even have the little blow up swimming pools for the kids. However, I think they are taking this a little too far. Why on earth would you fill a boat up with water and turn it into a swimming pool? Although I appreciate him being a responsible adult, why is this guy up there like he's a life guard for real? Umbrella and all. What is this a hood version of Baywatch? Is there not a YMCA near by? And what did they do to that one kid sitting in the corner with his arms folded. Why is he mad? Or did they tell him we bought a new swimming pool and brought him outside in his swim trunks to this madness? I'd be quite pissed too.

Why Chris Brown why? I know that you probably have a weight lifting regiment as part of your daily work out routine. But you look to be struggling a little with this one. I'm not trying to talk about the young lady but he had no business trying to pull this move. When he throws out his back and has to cancel his tour he'll understand how bad of a move this was. This little episode must have been during his performance of the song "No Air" because he clearly looks to be struggling to breathe with the Vulcan death grip this girl has on him.

Alright that's all I got for now. I hope you were entertained and yet just as confused as I was by what you saw. But please stay tuned for another episode of the Y-Files. I'll be tackling some of You Tube's greatest. You don't want to miss that.

To Be Continued...

--C-Recks--

Nanny Government

Think back to when you were a kid. I'm sure we all heard some variation of "Eat your vegetables" or "no dessert until you finish your dinner". Well, let's magnify that onto a huge scale, and you can begin to understand some of what local governments are doing to their constituents. More and more across the country, state and local municipalities are involving themselves into the most mundane aspects of every day life. And the saddest part is that the "real" problems are being left unaddressed.

As was the case on July 22nd, 2008. The city council for Los Angeles put a moratorium on the building of new fast food restaurants within a 32 square mile area of the city. An area that encompasses mostly Black and Hispanic neighborhoods. The one year restriction is on restaurants such as McDonald's, Taco Bell, and an L.A. staple, Jack in the Box. (Hell yeah, Hell yeah. Inside joke, see Menace II Society). Lawmakers also reserved the option of renewing the plan in two six month extensions.

Now on the surface, it may seem as though the L.A. city council is doing a good thing to protect the great citizens of their fair city. However, with anything, there is what's called "the law of unintended consequences". The main one, to me, being the loss of numerous potential jobs. And where would those jobs have been? In those very same Black and Hispanic communities. Interestingly enough, Blacks and Hispanics seem to be the ones needing jobs the most in this struggling economy. That's just one aspect of what this ban does for the city of Los Angeles.

Almost at the very same time Los Angeles was dictating to business what they could do, Arnold "the Governator" Schwarzenegger, ignored his state's pressing 16 billion dollar budget shortfall, and instead signed into law legislation that made the state of California the first in the nation to completely ban trans fatty acids. Yes, cities such as New York, Philadelphia, Boston and Seattle have taken steps to ban the ingredient, but California has taken it to a whole new level. (Quick side note, can't you see hustle man coming into the barber shop, "yo yo yo, I got them pork rinds ya'll. And they got all the fat in them. I got these off a truck from Vegas. Just two dollas a bag. 3 for 5 though!").

Again, I will make allowances for those of you who at first glance believe that what, in this case, the California legislature is doing is a good thing for its citizens. But see, here's the problem I have with it: at what point do we as Americans stand up and say to our government "I can control what I eat, get these goddamn roads fixed"? Or "My fries taste just fine as they are, go spend time trying to legislate a way to fix our schools". (For an idea, read the Mis-Education of America posted on July 17th. I had to give myself a plug). Too often we've seen kids that are overweight. And while you feel for them, sometimes you lay eyes on the parents, and then you understand why the kids look the way that they do. Now, I think its awful when you see a 9 year old that looks like he could be making tackles on Sundays for the Chicago Bears, but why should I be deprived simply because his mother doesn't have the backbone to stand up to her 9 year old and say "no, you can't have 2 happy meals". Or, "get yo ass out my house and go play".




I was 9 once. And if I could've, I'd have packed up all my little belongings, and made any local McDonald's my new permanent residence. Its family lore that when I was a kid, I could see the McDonald's arches long before the adults in the car did. They would be looking around, and still didn't know where McDonald's was. I did! So I don't speak to you as someone who's unfamiliar with an addiction to hamburgers. They're my favorite food. But the reason I didn't move to what would have been my "Happiest Place on Earth" was because my parents were parents! Sure, we got an occasional reward of a trip to McDonald's, usually provided by my Grandmother after church on Sundays. (Another quick side note, it must've been hard for my Grandfather John to cart around my Grandmother and 4-6 of his screaming and clowning grandkids. I'm slowly but surely beginning to understand why he drank). However, I also recall eating some of what I then considered to be the grossest things put on planet earth:

Liver! Still can't touch the stuff. If I smell it, I'm 7 years old again, sitting at my Grandfather Porter's table trying to find a way to rationalize either eating this crap, or just taking my whooping and being allowed to go to bed. Nobody told me that you get both!

Okra. I was introduced to this little nugget in a gumbo prepared by my Granny Alverta. Everything else in the gumbo was great. Couldn't get with the okra. So as any intelligent child would do, I ate everything but the okra. Well, Grandfather Porter would have none of that. I believe that turned into another one of those all nighters that ended with me falling asleep at the table, and my grandparents being none too happy with me. Still can't roll with Okra to this day though.

Brussel Sprouts. Now kids of today have it easy. They get all of their vegetables served to them with cheese, ranch, and all kinds of nice toppings. Well that didn't happen back in the day. You got straight raw or cooked vegetables. That's what happened when it came to brussel sprouts. And if I remember correctly, the only salt that existed when it came to my sprouts was the salt on my face at the fact that I had to eat them. Me and sprouts are cool now, but we had beef like Shaq and Kobe when I was a child.

Now I share that with you to show that its the parents who should be deciding what the children eat. Not the kids, or some commercial, and definitely not the government. But I can tell you right now, of all the times that I wanted McDonald's as a kid, I probably got it 10% of the time at best. And that's because my parents knew that stuff was ok in moderation, but there was no need for it as a primary source of nourishment.

Some people will say that what they're doing in L.A. is protecting its citizens from evil corporations that prey on the down trodden with their 99 cent double cheeseburgers. Well, that's a load of crap. I have lived in Los Angeles for half my life, and I can tell you that I have pretty much been to every single neighborhood that there is. And there is no shortage of fast food restaurants in any of them. Period! South Central, got em. Bel-Air, got em. The beaches, got em. There's no conspiracy on the part of McDonald's or Burger King to subjugate the minorities of the city to their will. All they're trying to do is make money. And as I have stated in previous blogs, I believe in capitalism 100%. As long as McDonald's is providing me a service that I decide is worth my money, its not their responsibility what happens to me down the line. Now I do go into this believing that they're not intentionally serving me tainted meat and things like that, But its not their responsibility to hand out an angioplasty with every super value meal.

I hope some of you aren't just thinking that this is unique to California. Trust me, California is just the testing ground for some of the more wacky ideas. But they usually make their way across the nation. So here's some of California's "finest" ideas.

Anti-spanking

http://www.nbc11.com/politics/11085867/detail.html?rss=bay&psp=news

Pet "Guardians" instead of pet owners

http://www.guardiancampaign.com/petlaw.html

http://www.doggienews.com/2005/11/why-dog-guardianship-is-more-dangerous.htm

Hand Held cell-phone ban
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2006/09/15/BAG75L6BJC1.DTL&type=politics

The last one was especially difficult for me to understand. Now if using a cell phone is so dangerous, why, when the bill was passed in 2006, did you push the implementation of the ban forward until July 1st, 2008? I mean if the road is so dangerous with those cell phone using drivers, why have another two years with those dangerous individuals on the road? Did you arrest Charles Manson in 1969, and then tell him "ok Chuck, in 1971, we're gonna come pick you up to serve your sentence. You're a dangerous individual, and as of 1971, we can no longer tolerate you in our society". Hell No! They decided that the man was so dangerous that he had to be taken into custody immediately. I know its an extreme comparison, but similarly, if driving while using a cell phone is so dangerous, why not eliminate its existence from our society immediately?

Now let's make the natural progression from childhood to adulthood. Once I was old enough to decide what I wanted to eat, I took full advantage of it. I would have, what I termed "the breakfast of champions". I know that Wheaties pioneered the slogan, but Michael Jordan never dreamed that it could apply to what I would eat! Morning burgers, a can of chili, or 8 oatmeal raisin cookies, and a couple pepsis. (Not all of that at one time, damn, I do have some self control). And after almost 10 years of eating meals such as that, needless to say, I put on quite a bit of weight. Now unlike the losers who find sheisty attorneys and file 100 million dollar lawsuits against McDonald's, Hormel, Mother's cookies, and Pepsi bottling, I decided that I needed to change my diet. Simple solution! Less hamburgers. (Can't give them up completely, I do believe they have worked themselves into my DNA). 1 or 2 cookies instead of 8. Juice or water instead of Pepsis. And its made a noticeable difference. I've lost 20+ pounds in the matter of just 4 months. Now I can't say if I have completely reversed those 10 years of gorging or not, but I can say that I've taken responsibility for myself. And going forward, its up to me what my diet will be. No government will ever dictate that to me.

--DrizaDre--