Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Y-Files

Just like most of you I've come across quite a bit of content on the Internet whether it was by chance or some one forwarded me some e-mail. Of that content some is shocking, some funny, some stupid and well others simply make me want to just say WHY? Well this segment is nothing special but it's just some things that make me ask that question. So, I've decided create "The Y-Files" that will display some of the bizarre and some times ignorant things that make me ask the question WHY? Unfortunately, most of the content will have to do with some of the things my people (Black People) do. Some of these pictures and or videos you've perhaps seen before. But if nothing else you'll probably get a laugh, probably shake your head, and ask the same question as me WHY? Well honestly as you continue to read, you may start with why?, but you'll probably finish with who?, what?, where? and even how? before it's said and done. Stranger and more bizarre things have happened. Welcome to the Y-Files... (Cue eerie music).

Well we don't have any eerie music so here's the song "Why" by JadaKiss featuring Anthony Hamilton it still fits the subject at hand.

Why are are black people are so damn innovative but for the wrong reasons? I've never built a soap box racer or anything like that. But as a kid I'm sure I wanted to and I'm also sure that they take a lot of work and even some skill to create. So to this young man I give props for taking the time to create this contraption, very innovative. But my problem with it is why make it ghettofied? Why would you put sub woofers on the back of a make shift bike and ride down the block? No one wants to hear you you blasting Lil' Wayne The Carter 3 or Young Jeezy's The Recession. Now if you're into building cars then go and get into a school that will teach you to the fundamentals of the craft. You never know in the future you could be designing the 2015 Ford Mustang. But instead you have this contraption. I don't know why but every time I look at this I keep waiting for Xzibit to pop out hosting a hood version of pimp my bike.

Why oh Why would you do this to your hair? First off, since when did orange and blue match? When you presented this idea to your hair dresser I would just like to know what she said? But even worse than that when it was done who told you this was cute? Whatever friend talked convinced ya'll asses to make a damn fool of yourselves is truly not a friend. Then, who really loves Kool-Aid this much that they would advertise it in their hair? You are not receiving a cent of advertising revenue for this treacherous fashion statement, so why even go there? Now as for the hairdo below WHY? I can't even believe she got a hair stylist to do this crap. Why would you want a hair style shaped like a helicopter? Oh wait I got one. Maybe her nick name is Bird. Then she lives in the ghetto. So put the 2 together = "Ghetto Bird." Don't act like ya'll never heard Ice Cube say that back in the day. Well this almost makes me appreciate the Kool-Aid. Does the propeller spin? Does she sleep standing up or flying? I'm lost man. Lastly, Why didn't her momma whoop her ass for wearing this out?

Why on earth would someone want their toe nails to be this long? Please tell me. I mean finger nail extensions I get but toes? At first I thought that they were a pair of pink heels until I looked closer. Obviously these are acrylic nails, but how would you walk in these with out them breaking off? How do you wear anything other than open toed shoes? Again, I'm confused I just don't get it. Well next up we have yet another free advertisement. Now I know pop or soda as some call it is refreshing. But do you really love it this damn much that you have to advertise it on your nails? And even if you do why not stick to one product or at least parent company? Even if one of these soft drink companies wanted to pay you for advertising they couldn't because some of the soft drinks are rivals and have different parent companies.
Why man oh Why? I'm sure you may have seen these pics online before. But I have to speak on this. What ever happen to prom being like the precursor to a young lady's wedding? Meaning that they would get dressed up and look beautiful and elegant just as a bride to be would on her wedding day. And the guys would dress to compliment the ladies. However, over the recent years something has changed. I don't know what it is but this younger generation is just off the chain like an escaped slave. Take a look at exhibit A. Now why in the world would you one even go to prom being this pregnant? I'd guess she's at least 6-7 months. Okay perhaps she didn't want to miss it being senior year and all. But then why in the hell would you wear a dress with the stomach cut out? You couldn't find a nice classy maternity dress? I know they make them I've seen plenty celebrities wear them when they're pregnant. And lastly, I'm no OBGYN but it looks to me like this girl has the markings of a C-Section already. So you mean to tell me it's Senior year and you're on kid #2? Why oh why Lord? Okay on to Exhibit B. I'm kind of at a loss for words on this one. I've seen more clothing on strippers at the strip club than what this girl has on. Is there a pole in the picture that I cant see? And the guy. His whole out fit belongs on one of our Man Up Rules. Are those silk pajama pants and slippers? Who are you the black Hugh Hefner? Why is your hair red? Just to match the outfit? Real Talk his ass looks like a new age version of Leroy from Fame. Young people please get your act together.

Why even wear pants at all? I mean if you're this hot and feel like you need to slice up your pants to expose air pockets or whatever you call your self doing, then why not just wear shorts? No one want to see half of your ass cheeks hanging out of your jeans that look like someone ran them through a paper shredder. I just hope this was done on purpose and that you haven't been wearing these jeans daily for like the last 10 years. Because if so you're a few threads away from wearing a pair of daisy dukes.

I know this looks like an ordinary toy gun, or water pistol, however; believe it or not this is a bar of soap ladies and gentlemen. Why on earth you would want to wash your ass with a bar of soap shaped like a gun? I have no damn clue. Are you this damn hood or so much of a thug that even your soap has to be Gangsta? I guess if you're this hard you probably wipe your ass with sand paper instead of tissue.

Now who hasn't been stuck in a car without air conditioning before? I know I have in the dead heat of Los Angeles in the summer. But as much as an idea like this may have popped into my head I would have never thought to put that plan into action. Well not this person. They put an air conditioner in the passenger window and have it running off a generator that's some how attached to the trunk. My question is why? Now granted they may have had these items already (the generator and air conditioner), but even still the effort it took to make this work couldn't have been worth it. I'm sure going to get your AC fixed would have taken much less of an effort and it couldn't have been that expensive. Plus, a sharp turn could easily send this generator or the air conditioner flying to the ground. As for the second image, why would you even bother to put a lock on this car? It doesn't look to be in the best condition, so I'm not sure who would really attempt to break into it. But I guess there's nothing wrong with a little extra security measure.

Now I love a good burger from McDonalds just as much as the rest of the world. Hell, I even had them for dinner last night. And who doesn't love a bag of Flamin' Hots? However, why on earth would you advertise your love for McDonalds or Cheetos on your car? Now if this driver owned a chain of McDonalds or even stock in Frito Lay (which makes Cheetos) then none of us would be scratching our heads, but the likelihood of that being the case is the equivalent to a man fresh out of jail being able to vote on November 4th. The sad thing is that if these people were smart they probably could make money advertising for McDonalds, Cheetos or some other companies on their cars. If you click Here there are companies that pay $200-400 a month or more for just this type of vehicle advertising. But you go ahead and keep on advertising for free it makes a lot of sense. The same applies for the vehicles below. If there's a grown man driving the Sponge Bob car he needs his ass whooped. The Cool "Whip," I guess I get the play on words since "whip" is a slang term for car, it's a "Cool Car." But the Newport 100's car? Why man? Why?

Why do they keep giving ignorant black people reality shows? I mean besides the fact people watch to laugh and they bring in ratings. But not only that why don't they keep it "real" on these shows? Before "Flavor of Love" premiered some years ago most people probably didn't even know who Flavor Flav was. He was a washed up hype man that was in and out of jail and on and off of drugs and probably damn near broke. That was until an appearance on the VH-1 show "The Surreal Life," took him on a wild ride to stardom. Now he has probably surpassed the fame he ever had as a hype man for the rap group Public Enemy. Now that's great for Flav and his 8 or 9 kids I'm not mad at that at all. However, I am mad that the fact that prior to Flavor of Love he probably couldn't even buy a female that was dyme status. But now he's had 2 seasons of this show and is able to pull females that look like Hoops? What kind of Bizarro world do I disappear to when I turn on VH-1? I know the contestants stand to gain possible fortune and fame for going on these shows but damn! If the producers showed me a picture of a female version of Flav and said you are competing for the love of this woman, and that I may have to kiss and or sleep with her to win well let's just say I'd promptly take myself out of that competition. I'm Not hating by any means, but Flavor Flav is not a sex symbol so Why oh why ladies why?

I know this The Y-Files but I'm stuck asking myself what is this? I hope to God it's not a woman. But then again I'm damn near throwing up on myself thinking it's a man. What are they wearing? And I don't know what's in the bag. But if it's more clothes like the ones he/she's wearing I hope they're walking to the nearest trash can to throw them away or to the nearest incinerator to burn them. Why on earth would you dress like this in public? I promise if I was walking or driving down the street and saw this I'd be looking up in the sky for a UFO because clearly we're being invaded by beings from another planet.

Now does this even make any sense? I've heard of thinking "outside of the box" but come on. Why would you put a box on wheels and push a kid around in it like it's a stroller? This can't be safe. It doesn't even look as if the box is secured down. So the slightest bump and this kid is eating pavement. Is she this lazy? I don't see why she doesn't just pick the kid up and carry him. Or better yet he appears to be big enough to walk. I don't know how far she's walking but I'm sure that she could have found better means to transport the child. It looks like a pretty run down area. I know there's always a shopping cart abandonned somewhere in the ghetto. She could have pushed him in a shopping cart and it would have been safer. I don't know if she found that box or just bought a new TV. But if she bought a TV and used the box for the stroller then her priorities are way out of order.

I know that on hot summer days in the hood kids will do stuff like have water fights and open up fire hydrants to keep cool. They even have the little blow up swimming pools for the kids. However, I think they are taking this a little too far. Why on earth would you fill a boat up with water and turn it into a swimming pool? Although I appreciate him being a responsible adult, why is this guy up there like he's a life guard for real? Umbrella and all. What is this a hood version of Baywatch? Is there not a YMCA near by? And what did they do to that one kid sitting in the corner with his arms folded. Why is he mad? Or did they tell him we bought a new swimming pool and brought him outside in his swim trunks to this madness? I'd be quite pissed too.
Why Chris Brown why? I know that you probably have a weight lifting regiment as part of your daily work out routine. But you look to be struggling a little with this one. I'm not trying to talk about the young lady but he had no business trying to pull this move. When he throws out his back and has to cancel his tour he'll understand how bad of a move this was. This little episode must have been during his performance of the song "No Air" because he clearly looks to be struggling to breathe with the Vulcan death grip this girl has on him.

Alright that's all I got for now. I hope you were entertained and yet just as confused as I was by what you saw. But please stay tuned for another episode of the Y-Files. I'll be tackling some of You Tube's greatest. You don't want to miss that.

To Be Continued...



Anonymous said...

I just started you But I Thoroughly Quit you after this shit! Women can show out ten times worse than dudes in this sorts of deals


BTW the ETA on my G1 is Nov 10 (they said no later than that) and I ordered early Last Week, before the "out" date, to give you a timetable

Brothers Blog said...

To each his or her own. So thank you for stopping and the comment either way. And also for the phone info.

Mckay K said...

Brothers I agree. WHY! How you found these pictures, I will never know. My question is, are these the new inventive minds of the future?

Brothers Blog said...

Yeah they weren't as hard to find as you think. I would pray that these are not the minds of the future if so we're definitely in trouble.

Stay tuned for part 2...

Eb the Celeb said...

bafoonery... at its finest

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I don't even know where to begin cause this stuff is so sadly funny.

I have seen most of the pictures before but your commentary was priceless.

Cennetta said...

Why??? Nothing but the DEVIL!!

Brothers Blog said...

@ eb - bafoonery doesn't even describe it.

@ sharon - thanks. yes I have seen most of them as well but I just had to speak on it. lol.

@ Cenetta - Yes the devil had to have made them do it as the saying goes.

Just Jasmine said...

Wow is all I can say. You had me dying, Literally lauging so hard in my office at the wht with the hair until i scrolled down a little more and my smile was wiped off my face with those nasty a$$ toenails. Really?

I don't knock the girl for going to the prom (by the way c-section is a horizontal now so that line is just teh very pronounced Linea Negra.. someone didn't get the memo to use Palmers) I knock her, her mother, her date and his mother for allowing her to even allow the idea to become tangible.

No comment on all of teh other bafoonery our people contine to exhibit.

Brothers Blog said...

@ jasmine. I hope we didn't disturb any of your office mates. lol. Apologize if so. lol.

Oh and thanks for the info on the C-Section. I wasn't sure so I appreciate you letting me know.

Blogger said...

Get daily suggestions and methods for making THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS per day ONLINE totally FREE.

Blogger said...

I have just installed iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.