Don't Quit Your Date Job

Since I began searching for a new job a few months back I have gone through the entire process from beginning to end. Likewise I have been single for a while and dating off and on for a while as well. I recently just started thinking about the 2 processes and began to notice some similarities between job hunting and searching for a mate. These thoughts led me to me conclude that the 2 are almost one in the same. I know it may sound a bit odd but let me go ahead and break it down for you.





Apply
When you find a job that interests you the first step to obtaining that job is to apply for it. So you submit your application whether it be in person or online. Well when you're looking for that special someone you have to sort of start with an application as well. When you first meet that person it's like applying for a job. You're letting it be known that you're interested in the position (in this case being their man or woman) that is available. So you go up to that person and introduce yourself have a brief conversation and depending on how well it goes one of two things will happen. You will either get that person's phone number or you will leave yours with them. However, if that initial meeting didn't go well your application (phone number) will most likely immediately be trashed.

Therefore, first impressions are always important. Most people think to only dress up for the interview. But even when just submitting a job application the way you dress/look when you drop off or fill out that application is crucial. If you come in looking like you want and deserve the job then you're most likely to reach the next stage in the hiring process. But if you don't dress the part most likely the person that takes your application will discard it and not forward it on. And when you do submit that application you will receive the same response all the time. "We will review your application against those of other qualified applicants and if we find your qualifications meet our needs we will contact you." In dating terms this essentially means don't call me I'll call you.


Phone Interview
Once you've submitted your application you have to await a call back. Now what will be taking place in this time is a brief review of your qualifications. Although it was a short encounter again first impressions are everything. So once it has been determined that you are a potential candidate for employment an initial phone call will be made. Now just like an in person interview you must be prepared for this phone interview. Make sure the call is uninterrupted. You don't want to have your phone blowing up on the other end and constantly be putting the other party on hold.

During this phone interview you will be asked all types of questions regarding your education and present and past dating history and experience. Including the length of those relationship and why your employment was terminated with that previous employer. Also, you will be asked about your best and worst qualities, your good and bad habits, your hopes/aspirations, etc. If it wasn't asked on the initial application the "have you ever been convicted of felony?" question will come up. Basically they want to know what you will bring to the table. What will you do to add to or improve an already successful (single) operation. It is important to answer these questions carefully and honestly as they may come up again if you make it to the next stage in the interview process. The phone interview process may take place over a number of phone calls and conversations as the prospective employer gathers information on you and determines whether to invite you to interview with them personally.


In Person Interview
Once the employer has conducted the telephone interviews they will either determine that you're not qualified enough or that you may have potential and invite you to interview in person aka on a date. When the date and time has been set it is important that you again prepare for this interview. Review your responses to the previous phone interview questions as they may come up again and you want to make sure your answers are the same. Also, you must dress even better than you did when you submitted your initial application. This is your opportunity to show them that you can dress the part. Even if the meeting is informal you still want to make a good impression. So once you arrive and greet your perspective employer your interview will begin. Most of the same questions will come back up but you will be judged more on your ability to answer the questions honestly, correctly and confidently. If you successfully impress the prospective employer in this stage of the interview process then you may be invited for a 2nd interview. As you converse and speak you try to get a feel for the person asking the questions. You get smiles, nods, and even the occasional laugh. However, once the interview is done you're still never quite sure how you did. You may feel as if it was your best ever. But again, you can never predict the thoughts of the person interviewing you. So they leave you with those parting words. "Thank you for interviewing with us today, we have a few other candidates to interview and we'll be making our decision by next week." This again means don't call me I may call you.


2nd Interview
So you breezed through the in person interview and passed with flying colors. Well when you get that call back please don't assume that it is to offer you the position. In fact, you're still quite a ways from the finish line. This call back is most likely going to be an invitation to interview a second time. Now with most employers the second interview is with someone higher up such as a manager or CEO. However, in dating terms you will have to be interviewed by "the friend(s)." So you may be invited out with her and her girls or him and his boys. The purpose of this interview is for the employer to get the approval or disapproval of their friends. This interview is actually harder than the 2 previous ones. The reason being, that you are being evaluated and scrutinized by 2 or more individuals. Not to mention you are not privy to what information has already been told about you to those friends. Therefore, they could have a preconceived notion about you to begin with. However, your goal is to charm the hell out of those friends with hopes that they will give you a good review and their approval of you being able to succeed in this position.


Job Offer
The time has come!! With glee and joy you answer your phone, check your mail box and e-mail awaiting response on the job. But when it comes don't get your hopes up too high. That management position you were seeking you don't yet qualify for. However, there is an internship position that is available. It is non-paid, and there are no "benefits." But if you work very hard in this position you can eventually get promoted to higher positions and reach that desired level. Are you still interested in working for this employer? If not trust there is another ready and willing applicant that will start off doing whatever job they have to just to be employed.


Career Path
Unfortunately you didn't nail the position you were seeking. However, the bright side is you are now employed by a great employer and as stated you do have potential to move up if you do a good enough job. There will be regular review of your performance monthly. Below are the stages of progression you will go through before achieving your desired goal.




Intern - Dating
Entry Level Position - Exclusively Dating
Sr. Associate - Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Supervisor/Manager - Fiance'
Executive - Husband/Wife


Disclaimer
Make sure that you re-read the disclaimer that was on the bottom of the application you originally filled out.


I certify that the information contained in this application is correct to the best of my
knowledge. I understand that to falsify information is grounds for refusing to hire me, or
for discharge should I be hired.

I authorize any person, organization or company listed on this application to furnish
you any and all information concerning my previous employment, education and qualifications
for employment. I also authorize you to request and receive such information.

In consideration for my employment, I agree to abide by the rules and regulations of
the company, which rules may be changed, withdrawn, added or interpreted at any time,
at the company's sole option and without prior notice to me.

I also acknowledge that my employment may be terminated, or any offer or acceptance
of employment withdrawn, at any time, with or without cause, and with or without
prior notice at the option of the company or myself.




So in other words keep in mind that at any point during this process and even after being hired and promoted your ass can and will be kicked to the curb. Or as Donald Trump would say "You're Fired!!!"


--C-Recks--

Only the Names Have Changed

Recently a close relative of mines made a decision to change her first name. Although people change their names all the time it was the reason why she changed it that disturbed me. You see her name given at birth is what one would consider to be more "ethnic" (if there is such a thing). Basically, she's black and her first name pretty much distinguishes her as a black female just by hearing or reading the name. This was actually her second name change, because she just got married a few years back. Therefore, she no longer used her maiden name. That last name, which is the same as mines is also usually considered a black last name as well. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a black sounding name. However, many think and studies actually do show that people with black sounding names have a harder time receiving call backs when submitting resumes and job applications.

So my relative made the decision to change her name to a more "White" sounding name in an effort to better her chances of obtaining a job. Now the logic behind her decision does make some sense, but it still disturbed me nonetheless. The main reason is that yes we already know that being black we have some what of a dis-advantage when it comes to getting jobs in Corporate America. Therefore, we have to work hard to attempt to match the skills, education and qualifications of our white counterparts. However, what if the very first item on the top of your resume automatically eliminated you from being a potential candidate for the job? Now I'm not saying it happens all the time but believe it or not some employers are actually discriminating against black applicants prior to even seeing them face to face.

Now some of you out there may be reading and saying No Way! No employer would discriminate against an applicant especially based on just their name. Well lucky for me I have evidence to prove that some companies do just that. In a CBS news article there was an actual study done to test this theory. In the study [real] comparable resumes with equal skills, education, and qualifications were utilized. However, the names on the resumes were changed so that they represented "black sounding" names (i.e. Tisha, Shaniqua, Laquita and Jamal) and "white sounding" names (i.e. Emily, Beth, Molly and Matthew). Nine names were selected to represent each category: black women, white women, black men and white men. Last names common to the racial group were also assigned. Four resumes were typically submitted for each job opening, drawn from a reservoir of 160. Nearly 5,000 applications were submitted to over 1,300 help-wanted ads in the Boston Globe and Chicago Tribune from mid-2001 to mid-2002. No single employer was sent two identical resumes, and the names on the resumes were randomly assigned, so applicants with black- and white-sounding names applied for the same set of jobs with the same set of resumes. So what do you think the results were? Keep reading you may or may not be shocked by what you read.

"The authors found black-sounding names were 50 percent less likely to get a callback than white-sounding names with comparable resumes. White names got about one callback per 10 resumes; black names got one per 15. Carries and Kristens had call-back rates of more than 13 percent, but Aisha, Keisha and Tamika got 2.2 percent, 3.8 percent and 5.4 percent, respectively. And having a higher quality resume, featuring more skills and experience, made a white-sounding name 30 percent more likely to elicit a callback, but only 9 percent more likely for black-sounding names. Interviews were requested for 10.1 percent of applicants with white-sounding names and only 6.7 percent of those with black-sounding names. Even employers who specified "equal opportunity employer" showed bias, leading Mullainathan to suggest companies serious about diversity must take steps to confront even unconscious biases - for instance, by not looking at names when first evaluating a resume."

So there you have it concrete evidence that a name can in fact prevent you from even getting a call back. Now I don't know about your employment status, but I recently found myself in the market for a new job. All I must say is thank God that I still have my current job. Because in today's economy the job market is very competitive. Although there are a number of jobs hiring, it is obvious they are more precise when selecting candidates for positions. In my opinion, employers are no longer willing to take a chance on applicants that aren't highly qualified for the open position. Where as in the past employers may have contacted someone that showed some promise but didn't necessarily have all the qualifications. Trust me I have an e-mail box full of denial letters from companies that say something like "we have chosen to go with an applicant that better suits the qualifications and skills associated with the position." Now in an attempt to compete effectively for a better job I have chosen to continue my education and I am even willing to take an entry level position to acquire more skills and experience. However, to think that even with more experience and education that my last name (which as I mentioned is traditionally a "black name") may be the what determines if I get my dream job is absolutely ridiculous.

Prior to going to finishing college I did fear certain things on my resume stood out as an identifying factor of my race. Ironically, my name wasn't one of them. However, I was more focused on the school I graduated from. I went to 3 different High Schools before graduating (Don't worry I wasn't a bad kid or anything like that. LoL). The first High School was of mixed races maybe 60% black 40% white/other. The second High School was all white maybe 20 blacks total. Finally, I graduated from a school that was all black only white people were the few teachers that braved the drive to the hood. So, I was always fearing that potential employers would see that school listed on the resume and automatically assume that I was black and discard my resume. But my name was just my name and never did I think it could prevent me from receiving a job.

Now I don't have any direct evidence that I personally have ever been passed over for a job. But what if I could pin point my name as a real hindrance to obtaining employment? Would changing my name be the answer? Well I thought about this and to be honest even if it guaranteed me a 6-figure salary job I couldn't and wouldn't do it. When I even thought about the idea it reminded me of something. Now I know this is extreme but it's the first thing that popped into my head. Blacks changing their names to obtain jobs equivalent to our white counterparts just reminds me of slavery. As we know slaves were forced to change their names to that of their masters and what their masters preferred to call them. The best known example of this is the story of Kunta Kinte in the epic movie "Roots." One of the most memorable moments in the movie was when the Master was whipping Kunta and telling him to say his name was Toby and not Kunta. Yet Kunta would not budge, even after being whipped repeatedly he knew his name, and regardless of what he wouldn't denounce it. But when you look at the us as blacks changing our names in order to gain favorable employment from corporations (masters) isn't it an eerie similarity? And by the way you don't have to work at UPS to be an Under Paid Slave. LOL.

So, I've taken a stand like Kunta and vowed to keep my name as is. However, the next question is this. What about when you have kids? Will you purposely name them so their names don't sound "too black?" Well in all honesty when it was time to name my son this was a subject that came up between his mom and I. Basically to keep it real we said we don't want to name him something "ghetto." So, with that in mind we eventually decided to name him after me. I didn't want him to be a Jr. but I also didn't want to give him a stereotypical black or "ghetto" name. Therefore, naming him after me was a happy medium.

I'm in no way saying that there is anything wrong with having a black sounding or even what some would consider a "ghetto" name. Each parent has a choice to name their kids whatever they want. Also, I don't believe your name has anything to do with who you are or what you will grow up to be. However, there are some names that some of you parents are truly out of line for giving to your kids. I'm sure if you're keeping it real you will admit that you know someone (or maybe it's you) with a ghetto ass name.

Now all of the names are very unique, some very pretty, some cute in theory, others are confusing, but all are definitely identifiable as black names. For example, you can be watching the News on TV not even paying attention really, but you overhear that there was a shooting and the reporter says "eye witness Deshante Jones gives his reaction." Okay wait... You can't tell me that upon hearing that you're not going to automatically know this is about to be a black person. Then again, you may as well say a ghetto black person because you know the media is going the find the most ignorant person they can find to be on TV and tell the story. If you know Deshante you may get a shout out after he describes what he witnessed. LoL. Here's another example to further illustrate my point. Say you find yourself at a College graduation. This can even be an Ivy League School like Harvard University. But say you've sat and watched one hundred or so white students cross the stage to receive their diploma and then the speaker says this name. "Laquita Simmons." Again... You can't tell me that you won't automatically assume the person is a black female. Not to mention your biggest clue before she even crosses the stage is the bombardment of screaming, yelling, and shouting "You Go Girl!!," and "That's my baby!!" from her family. LoL.

In closing, as bothersome as it is that some are changing their names to obtain employment it's even more bothersome that they have to. Unfortunately, as much as we don't want to admit it discrimination still exists in our society. This doesn't just apply to black people. I'm sure there are plenty of other races that endure the same decision about changing their names and what to name their children. But for those of you job searching I wish you all luck as well. I will leave you with a short list of ghetto names that I found interesting and broke down by categories. If you see your name or the name of someone you know here please don't take offense. But to really keep it real I'm not the one to blame. However, these are pretty timid I'm quite sure you all know of some truly Ghetto Names. So, I welcome all to comment back with their best ghetto names they've heard or perhaps have. Also, I've included some familiar names you've probably heard before and their African meanings.

Ghetto Names by Category

Alcoholic Drinks - Chardonay, Alize, Tekeyla, Martini, Champagne

Cars-Lexus, Mercedes, Porshe

Countries- India, Chyna

Continents - Asia, Afrika

Jewels - Diamond, Krystal, Ruby
Music - Lyric, Melody, Harmony

Misc. -Miracle, Blessing, Destiny, Princess, Unique, Precious, Queen, Kandi,

African Names/Meanings

Aisha - Life, She lives

Ayana - Pretty flower

Badu - One who is strong, powerful

Beyonce - Beyond others

Jabari - Brave

Jamal - Elegance

Jamar - Handsome

Jamila - Graceful, Pretty

Jelani - Mighty

Keisha - Favourite

Keyara - Beautiful River

Kima - Love

Kisha - Pretty

Kya - Diamond in the Sky

Lateefa - Gentle, Pleasant

Latoya - Praised Woman

Malika - Queen, Princess

Monifa - I am Lucky

Monisha - Solitary Life

Myeisha - One who is Loved greatly

Nakeisha - Her Life

Nia - Purpose

Nichelle - Victorious Maiden

Raashida, Rasheeda, - Righteous

Raquell - Precious

Rasheed - Wise Adviser

Ranyshia - Pretty Little Angel

Raniesha - Princess

Shaquille - Pretty

Takiyah - Pious, righteous

Talisha - Damsel arise

Tamika - People

Tanisha - Born on Monday

Tavon - Nature

Tevin - Son of Kevin

--C-Recks--