Exit Strategy: Update

So as you all may know from my previous Exit Strategy post I finally got a new job and I start today. I want to thank you all for the congrats and advice on how I should leave my previous job. Well I must be honest with you. Although I asked for advice, I of course had it made up in my head as to how I was going to leave. But I thought I would at least entertain you guys suggestions. So here's how everything went down.

Of course being the professional I am I went with option #1 and typed out my resignation letter below and gave it to my boss on that Friday. You can read it below, but I'm going to interject with what I was really thinking or at least wanted to say in red. Warning, Parental Advisory suggested.

February 6, 2009

Dear Mr. (Boss),

I am writing this letter as my formal notification that I am resigning from my position as (____) with (Company name). Friday February 13, 2009 will be my last day of employment.

I Quit! I should leave today, but I'm feeling nice and giving y'all another week of work from me.

This was not an easy decision to make as it has been a genuine pleasure working for (Company name). The work has been both challenging and productive and I have thoroughly enjoyed working with (Company name's) fine staff of professionals. I will miss my associates here.

As soon as I got the call that I got the new job I didn't have to think twice and immediately accepted. The last 3 years working here have been pure hell. After all the people I was friends with either got fired or quit I couldn't stand coming in daily to these bitter ass women. There are 2 people left I pray find something better so they can escape as well. Those 2 I will miss. The rest of y'all can kiss my ass.

If I may be of assistance in the recruitment, hiring process, or training of my replacement, please know that I will gladly make myself available to this effort.

This next week don't ask me to do s**t beyond my regular job. And you better hope that I will even do that. Well I may pretend to be working; however, I am most likely on the Internet reading or writing blogs as I have been hiding doing the last 9+ months. But since I don't give a damn anymore I will let you know not to disturb me. And if you're really smart you won't ask me to train a damn person, because after I finish telling them the real deal they definitely won't want to work here.

Sincerely,
Peace,

As Jay-Z said. "For the rest of y'all throwin shots at Jigga, you only get a half a bar F**k Y'all niggaz."

C-Recks

CC: Supervisor with her b**ch ass

CC: Owner with his b**ch ass

So I give him the letter sit down in front of him and he says "You're leaving?!?" And keeps reading and looks at the last date as Friday 13th. Then he has to nerve to ask me "You can't give us 2 weeks notice?" I reply "Unfortunately that's not an option for me at this time." Are you f**kin serious? You have the nerve to ask me to give you 2 weeks? I bet when you were ready to fire me at the end of this month I wouldn't get 2 weeks notice of that s**t.

So he asks "Are you getting out of the business or going anywhere I know of?" I reply I'm not going anywhere at all I'm just resigning from here. His face perks up and looked like he wanted to say WTF? I'm not stupid the owner is an old Italian man and I swear he's in the Mafia or something. I got stories I could tell. But his ass is connected and knows some of every one. You think I'm gone tell you I got a new job so he can make a call and f**k my s**t up? Oh hell naw! Hand me a mirror because Someone must've written stupid on my forehead since I last looked in the mirror.

Flustered, he then says "you know when I wrote you up last month it wasn't meant as a bad thing (now I have the WTF face). Last month you did much better, you didn't improve to where it said you should in the write up, but nonetheless you did do much better. So I reply "hmmm that's funny, but also part of the problem because you all don't tell us when we do good. But you're quick to point out when we are doing bad." Plus I could have sworn the damn write up letter said and I quote "If your numbers aren't improved by the end of February we will be forced to replace you." Your words not mines.

He then says "I only wrote the letter because I wanted to motivate you to do better." Wait! Again are you f**kin serious? Because you can't have just told me that with a straight face. But let me get this straight. You want your employees to do better... so let's write them up and threaten to fire them. Okay great strategy. Well guess what? You did motivate me, you motivated me to get the hell outta this damn job and get another!

"Well we hate to see you go and you will be missed, we appreciate your 5+ years of service for the company, some other babbling about how much he always liked me." Extends his hand to shake mines. Blah Blah Blah. What the f**k ever. Save that BS talk because I know damn well your ass didn't like me and don't worry the feeling was mutual. So like a limp d**k there's No "hard" feelings at all.

I Shake his hand and begin to smile big. I was ready to jump up and down in this chair like Tom Cruise on Oprah's show. I Walk out of the office and go back to my desk ready to do a lot of non-work for the rest of the day/week. We had a lunch meeting later that day and my manager announced that I resigned to the rest of the company. The funniest thing is that no one said anything to me the rest of the week. Not one where you going to or why are you quitting or you'll be missed or any of that. And believe me these are the nosiest women in the world so them not asking I found funny.

So on my last day I had planned on bringing donuts or something for everyone. Just as a good parting gesture. But I must admit I also contemplated the stealing of the tissue again and some adding exlax to the donuts, but I'm not that cold. LoL. But I figured since no one really gave a damn why should I. So I came in late my last day, did my last 6 hours, and that was that. I Said my goodbyes to everyone and even gave and received some fake hugs and I will miss yous. The only thing I will miss about this place is that my drive here was only 2 minutes. But I will gladly drive 35-45 minutes to the new job to get away from this place. Peace.

So that was that I kept it professional all the way throughout. Excuse the excessive cursing. I don't normally curse that much unless I'm upset. Well maybe I do, but not all in one setting like that. LoL. But today I start at the new job. Therefore I am not sure how much blogging I will get to do this week. I'm sure I'll have some stories to share from the new gig soon enough though. My brother should be able to hold it down the blog though. I definitely won't be able to do as much reading and he rarely reads so excuse my absence on everyone's blogs and comments. In closing, here are a few pics below I took of my old desk. Have a great week!!

Not sure what my new desk will look like, but hopefully it's much larger than this cramped space.

Goodbye old desk and cramped space. (This is the cleanest it's been since I've worked there. LoL)

This quote was told to me by a good friend last year. I wrote it down and posted it on my monitor. It's been there ever since. It may not have happened last year. But good things come to those who wait. And so far this year is definitely setting up to be that year. Thanks KDW.

Some of my art work. I was very bored back in the day. Thank God I discovered blogging to occupy my time at work. LoL. Oh and no one try to steal my "Black Out" product idea. Patent is pending. LoL.

Finally after removing all of the items pinned up on my cubicle I took all of the stick pins and made a peace sign. So when they walk past my desk they will know I've peaced the hell out. LoL.

--C-Recks--

For the Cool in You

"Cause I am so cool, cool, cool..." Redman "SoopaMan Luva 3"

So last weekend I'm sitting with my son and we're playing video games. Then all of a sudden of the blue he says something that I didn't expect at all. He says and I quote "You know dad you're pretty cool." Well I couldn't help but to put on that Kanye smile as The Game said. well I guess I should say that C-Recks smile, check the picture below.

Don't laugh at me with my kool-aid smile. That pic was taken on election night and I had just used my same drink ticket for the 4th time in a row. I should sell this to Heineken for one of their advertisements. LoL.

Well after he made this statement I asked him why he thought I was so cool? He replied "because you play video games with me and stuff like that, so that makes me a cool dad." Well it is true we do sit around and play his race car video games for hours. So if that makes me cool I'll take it and bask in it for the moment. However, sometimes I wonder will I maintain be able this "cool" status in the years to come.

When I hear people (especially young people) say they want to have a baby or children for some reason my response is always "if you can help it...wait!" That's not to say that I don't love being a father, because it's one of my favorite things in the world. However, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Balancing being a parent, working, having social life, and hobbies seems to be a juggling act at times. I somehow by the grace of God am able to do it for the most part. But then there are times when my son reminds me that I'm definitely not 100% in balance. On my way to drop him back off this past Sunday he says "Dad I wish you got fired so you could be with me everyday not just weekends." After gasping, I had to correct what he said. "As much as I would love to be with you everyday dad can't get fired. So let's say I wish you could get a better job and have more free time." He agreed and repeated what I said. Although, I wanted to say no job = no child support which = dad in jail. Not to mention my slim frame is conducive with jail bids and the fact that soap is slippery. LoL.

When my ex was pregnant her and I thoroughly discussed how we wanted to raise our son. Of course we didn't stay together so certain things were altered, but as they said "best laid plans." But that didn't change what I needed to do as a father for my son. I know I'm old (getting old), but I still feel young, so my son confirmed how I feel. I feel like I'm cool as a fan or the other side of the pillow. You pick one of those Stewart Scott one liners. I think I'll always try to keep my ear to the street as my son gets older. I can't have him pulling one over on me because he thinks I'm too old and out of touch with slang and what's going on in his young world.

For example, a while back a friend of mines asked me about a slang word. Now she's older than I am, maybe in her mid to late 30's. She has 3 teenage sons. In the past she's come to me to ask me about different slang words. Well apparently her sons had been using this term around her and wouldn't tell her the meaning. So at one point she's talking with the kids and they used the term and since they wouldn't tell her what it meant she just started saying it too. "Well if that's the case I'm a "Blank" your brother is a "blank" and your dad is also a "blank." So, the kids simply laughed at her and she was still left in the dark. As she's telling me this story I'm like NO! you didn't say that did you? She's like yeah I did why? So I go ahead and explain to her what the term means. She was shocked and says "I'm gone get they asses!" LoL. I laughed but then I thought man I gotta stay on my slang game even when I get older.

Just in case you're trying to fill in the blank, the word she/the kids were saying was Bust Down! SMH!!

Now I realize that I won't always be the cool dad. So I need to bask in this coolness while I can. There will be a time when I will be replaced as his video game buddy by one of his boys. The same goes for when it comes to going out riding bikes, going to the mall, the arcade and all the other cool things we do together. Eventually, dear old dad will not be cool enough to hang out with Lil' C. I'll get the "I'll just call you when it's time to pick me up speech." Or the "Can you drop me down the block because I don't want anyone to see you dropping me off." So when that day comes I won't let my feelings get hurt. I'll just think back and say. "Hey there was a time when you thought I was cool. And trust in 5 or so more years when you're 18+ years old I'm sure I'll gain that status back again."

--C-Recks--

Don't Quit Your Date Job

Since I began searching for a new job a few months back I have gone through the entire process from beginning to end. Likewise I have been single for a while and dating off and on for a while as well. I recently just started thinking about the 2 processes and began to notice some similarities between job hunting and searching for a mate. These thoughts led me to me conclude that the 2 are almost one in the same. I know it may sound a bit odd but let me go ahead and break it down for you.





Apply
When you find a job that interests you the first step to obtaining that job is to apply for it. So you submit your application whether it be in person or online. Well when you're looking for that special someone you have to sort of start with an application as well. When you first meet that person it's like applying for a job. You're letting it be known that you're interested in the position (in this case being their man or woman) that is available. So you go up to that person and introduce yourself have a brief conversation and depending on how well it goes one of two things will happen. You will either get that person's phone number or you will leave yours with them. However, if that initial meeting didn't go well your application (phone number) will most likely immediately be trashed.

Therefore, first impressions are always important. Most people think to only dress up for the interview. But even when just submitting a job application the way you dress/look when you drop off or fill out that application is crucial. If you come in looking like you want and deserve the job then you're most likely to reach the next stage in the hiring process. But if you don't dress the part most likely the person that takes your application will discard it and not forward it on. And when you do submit that application you will receive the same response all the time. "We will review your application against those of other qualified applicants and if we find your qualifications meet our needs we will contact you." In dating terms this essentially means don't call me I'll call you.


Phone Interview
Once you've submitted your application you have to await a call back. Now what will be taking place in this time is a brief review of your qualifications. Although it was a short encounter again first impressions are everything. So once it has been determined that you are a potential candidate for employment an initial phone call will be made. Now just like an in person interview you must be prepared for this phone interview. Make sure the call is uninterrupted. You don't want to have your phone blowing up on the other end and constantly be putting the other party on hold.

During this phone interview you will be asked all types of questions regarding your education and present and past dating history and experience. Including the length of those relationship and why your employment was terminated with that previous employer. Also, you will be asked about your best and worst qualities, your good and bad habits, your hopes/aspirations, etc. If it wasn't asked on the initial application the "have you ever been convicted of felony?" question will come up. Basically they want to know what you will bring to the table. What will you do to add to or improve an already successful (single) operation. It is important to answer these questions carefully and honestly as they may come up again if you make it to the next stage in the interview process. The phone interview process may take place over a number of phone calls and conversations as the prospective employer gathers information on you and determines whether to invite you to interview with them personally.


In Person Interview
Once the employer has conducted the telephone interviews they will either determine that you're not qualified enough or that you may have potential and invite you to interview in person aka on a date. When the date and time has been set it is important that you again prepare for this interview. Review your responses to the previous phone interview questions as they may come up again and you want to make sure your answers are the same. Also, you must dress even better than you did when you submitted your initial application. This is your opportunity to show them that you can dress the part. Even if the meeting is informal you still want to make a good impression. So once you arrive and greet your perspective employer your interview will begin. Most of the same questions will come back up but you will be judged more on your ability to answer the questions honestly, correctly and confidently. If you successfully impress the prospective employer in this stage of the interview process then you may be invited for a 2nd interview. As you converse and speak you try to get a feel for the person asking the questions. You get smiles, nods, and even the occasional laugh. However, once the interview is done you're still never quite sure how you did. You may feel as if it was your best ever. But again, you can never predict the thoughts of the person interviewing you. So they leave you with those parting words. "Thank you for interviewing with us today, we have a few other candidates to interview and we'll be making our decision by next week." This again means don't call me I may call you.


2nd Interview
So you breezed through the in person interview and passed with flying colors. Well when you get that call back please don't assume that it is to offer you the position. In fact, you're still quite a ways from the finish line. This call back is most likely going to be an invitation to interview a second time. Now with most employers the second interview is with someone higher up such as a manager or CEO. However, in dating terms you will have to be interviewed by "the friend(s)." So you may be invited out with her and her girls or him and his boys. The purpose of this interview is for the employer to get the approval or disapproval of their friends. This interview is actually harder than the 2 previous ones. The reason being, that you are being evaluated and scrutinized by 2 or more individuals. Not to mention you are not privy to what information has already been told about you to those friends. Therefore, they could have a preconceived notion about you to begin with. However, your goal is to charm the hell out of those friends with hopes that they will give you a good review and their approval of you being able to succeed in this position.


Job Offer
The time has come!! With glee and joy you answer your phone, check your mail box and e-mail awaiting response on the job. But when it comes don't get your hopes up too high. That management position you were seeking you don't yet qualify for. However, there is an internship position that is available. It is non-paid, and there are no "benefits." But if you work very hard in this position you can eventually get promoted to higher positions and reach that desired level. Are you still interested in working for this employer? If not trust there is another ready and willing applicant that will start off doing whatever job they have to just to be employed.


Career Path
Unfortunately you didn't nail the position you were seeking. However, the bright side is you are now employed by a great employer and as stated you do have potential to move up if you do a good enough job. There will be regular review of your performance monthly. Below are the stages of progression you will go through before achieving your desired goal.




Intern - Dating
Entry Level Position - Exclusively Dating
Sr. Associate - Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Supervisor/Manager - Fiance'
Executive - Husband/Wife


Disclaimer
Make sure that you re-read the disclaimer that was on the bottom of the application you originally filled out.


I certify that the information contained in this application is correct to the best of my
knowledge. I understand that to falsify information is grounds for refusing to hire me, or
for discharge should I be hired.

I authorize any person, organization or company listed on this application to furnish
you any and all information concerning my previous employment, education and qualifications
for employment. I also authorize you to request and receive such information.

In consideration for my employment, I agree to abide by the rules and regulations of
the company, which rules may be changed, withdrawn, added or interpreted at any time,
at the company's sole option and without prior notice to me.

I also acknowledge that my employment may be terminated, or any offer or acceptance
of employment withdrawn, at any time, with or without cause, and with or without
prior notice at the option of the company or myself.




So in other words keep in mind that at any point during this process and even after being hired and promoted your ass can and will be kicked to the curb. Or as Donald Trump would say "You're Fired!!!"


--C-Recks--