Lost Without You

As much as I try to front and act like I don't need you in my life I was confronted with not having you there the other day. Although it was only for 24 hours I won't lie it seemed like an eternity. I guess I just got so comfortable and so use to you always being there. So when you couldn't be I just didn't know how to handle it. I'm a man first; therefore, I couldn't cry and I couldn't let anyone see how much not having you there was affecting me. But inside... Inside I felt empty. I missed your company, communicating with you and through you, and just being able to touch you. Throughout the day I would try to reach out to you, but I knew that you were unavailable. I knew that if I tried to call that I wouldn't get through. Or if I even tried to send a text that it wouldn't make it to it's destination.

How can this be? I was never this type of guy. I always tried to make sure I did all I could to keep you happy. I took care of you in every way including financially. I always made sure that wherever I went you were there with me. And even when I laid in the bed at night you were right there next to me. And when I woke up in the morning you were the first to greet me. I know that we've made a long term commitment as we've been together going on 4 years now. I truly don't know what I would do without you in my life. I guess that not having you there the other day just made me realize how important you are to me. So important that even one day had me missing you like crazy. Perhaps I was spoiled? You were always so good to me giving me almost everything I needed and more. Now I was reduced to having nothing at all. Was this your way of telling or showing me that I should cherish what we have more than I do. And to never take you or what we have for granted? If so I got the message.

They say that you never really know what you got until it's gone. Well I now understand what that means. But why does it always take being gone for someone to realize. Although it really wasn't my fault, I was left pondering so much throughout those 24 hours. What could I have done differently? I sought advice from so called experts, yet even they were no help. I was left with no choice but to wait for you to come back to me. I sat at work with nothing but you on my mind the whole day. I Wondered how long it would be before we reunited. I even wondered if maybe this was a sign that I should move on to another. Maybe try to start something new. Perhaps we weren't as meant to be as I first thought. But we've been together for such a long time, you know what I need and I know what you need. It's a mutual agreement and we make it work day in day out month in and month out.

But I would be lying if I didn't admit that many have tried to tempt me and take me away from you. However, everyone eventually gets tested right? And if you can pass those test even if not with flying colors you come out stronger on the other side right? I tried to concentrate on work as to not think about you. But you were all I could think of. I sat hoping that later that night we would be back together like old times. I just knew that another day like this would absolutely kill me inside.

I don't know how, but I made it through what seemed to be the longest 8 hour day in the world. Not knowing what to do I once again sought the so-called expert advice. This time it was suggested that maybe if I bought something for you that you would come back. As much as I desire to be with you it just bothered me that I may have to go to this extreme. I mean we were able to always work out any problems we had amongst ourselves. I didn't have to go shopping at the mall to please you. You were always satisfied by me, but maybe this advice was worth a try. At this point I really didn't care. I was willing to try almost anything to be with you again. So I ventured out into the cold and trekked through the snow to the nearest mall. I hate shopping especially during Christmas season. But for you I was willing to step out of my comfort zone.

As I walk into your favorite store I seemed a little lost. The sales associate immediately noticed I probably don't shop here often and asked if I needed help. I told them what I was looking for and they proceeded to assist me. Thank God, because sometimes these type of shopping experiences can be a little embarrassing. So, they found exactly what I was looking for and as I began to leave the store something just felt right again. It was like this one act on my part instantaneously brought us closer. I could just feel your presence again. That empty feeling had gone away. I proceeded to try to send a text message and guess what? It went through. :-D So I immediately called and guess what? It went through, I got an answer. :-D We were once again re-connected and all I could do was smile ear to ear. :-D I don't ever want to go a day without you again...

I must thank the experts at T-Mobile for their advice because it worked. All I needed was a new sim card. They activated it at the store and my phone was back ya'll. I was once again reunited and just like the song says it felt so good. It was so hard to get through an entire day without being able to use my phone. I felt disconnected from the world. I couldn't text, make calls, send e-mails, IM, or anything. I know it's sad but I actually did feel lost. I'm not saying I can't survive without my cell phone, but I will say I've gotten used to having it and all it's technology and capabilities. So in a way I am spoiled. And to go from that to nothing cold turkey is hard. So thank God that I have you back and I don't ever want to go another day without having you.

Has anyone else ever had to experience being without your cell phone for an extended period of time? And if so did you feel the same way I did? I can't be the only one to have gone through this before. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Just Deserts

Don't worry I didn't make a simple spelling error in my title. You'll understand the spelling as you continue to read. So, a few months my best friend was having an argument with some guy about who was thirstier men or women? So she e-mails me and asks my take on it. Well my immediate response was "Men of course!" My first example proving my point to her was for her to simply log into her myspace. I told her that I bet with her just being logged in [cue the blinking on-line indicator] and not doing anything more that the guys would flock. However, if I were to do the exact same I would maybe [on a good day] receive 1 request to her every 5-10. Unfortunately, she agreed with me that guys are thirstier; therefore, she didn't try my little "social-networking" experiment.

However, my blog entry "It's a One-derful Life" prompted another friend of mines to re-open their previously closed myspace account to prove a point. On her profile she listed 10 items about her as I did in the aforementioned blog. However, she proceeded to tell me that the "resume" as she called it, prompted her to receive 70 friend requests. All of these requests came within a matter of barely 24 hours, from men wanting to be her "One." Well without even asking her to participate she conducted my "social networking" experiment for me. So my response to her was that the 10 items was irrelevant. I feel that even without her putting her 10 items on there that just a picture and no words would have gotten at least half of those requests. Why? Because guys are thirsty.

Still not convinced? Well here's yet another example. A few years ago I was in the grocery store picking up some items for my grandmother. Well my eye spotted a gorgeous woman shopping and pushing her cart along. Now before my mind could even formulate the thought of stepping up to her and say something someone had already beat me to the punch. So, I played the back and watched her shut this guy down as he walked away shaking his head. Within less than a minute I saw another guy make the same attempt only to be shut down. As guy #2 was shut down there was a third guy lurking in the shadows just hoping for his turn. Even after seeing guy #2 get shut down, the third guy proceeds to take his chance. By this time I'm simply laughing because it's become quite comical. Well it's no surprise that guy #3 got the same treatment as his 2 predecessors. The young lady proceeded to the meat department to pick out some poultry, but it wasn't long before guy #4 made his appearance. I couldn't hear what any of them were saying to her, but with her picking out chicken, I'm sure his "original recipe" line that he used wasn't too original. Therefore, he was sent home with no consolation prize along with the previous contestants.

Well I won't front that my mind was thinking hell "give it your best shot worst she can say is no." However, I then thought of it in this way. If I just saw 4 people try to cross the same bridge and all met the same fate of falling in the water would I still try to cross? The answer was an astounding Hell No!! Plug up the Gps and find yourself another route. LoL. So, I told myself I'm just not a thirsty type guy and simply admired her beauty from a distance and kept it moving.

I mean I know I'm from Chicago and perhaps thirstiness just exists here, but I doubt that's the case. I've come to realize that Chicago niggaz just take it to an extreme level. However, I'm sure that women from all over the world can attest to the fact that they've experienced many moments dealing with thirsty guys. We've attempted to come up with a list, let's go through it and see how far we get.

- The guy that buys you a drink at the club and thinks you drinking that drink is some sort of non-verbal contract obligating you to talk to him the rest of the night. So he follows you around the club all night.

- The guy that you actually decide to give your number to; however, he doesn't adhere to the 1-2 day buffer and calls you the same day.

- The guy that when he meets you and you won't give him your number decides to give you his number. But not just his number. He includes his work number, his e-mail address, his instant messenger, and just in case you can't reach him at any of those his momma's number.

- The guy that first tries to holla at you. Then when you shut him down moves on to your girl. But when she doesn't give him any love either he then makes an attempt at your other girl. Eventually he goes through the rest of your crew, but even though no one takes his bait it doesn't deter him from trying.

- The guy that you've barely known a week or 2; however, he already wants you to be his woman. But wait he's not just satisfied with you just being his girl. Within that same week or 2, he wants you to meet his momma, be his wife, and go half on a baby with him.

- The guy that calls you and when you don't answer he leaves you a voice mail. But before you can even check the voice mail he's calling you again. But when you don't answer the next time he's sends you a text message. My brother commonly refers to these individuals as Serial Dialers.

- The guy that will admittedly do anything to get you to sleep with him. Including but not limited to offering to buy you any and everything you want as if money will all of a sudden make you want to be with him.

- The guy that sees you walking down the street as he's driving and tries to get your attention by yelling from the car. When you ignore his disrespectful attempt, he continues to drive along side you trying different lines on you hoping you change your mind.

- The guy that you openly treat like s**t, yet he takes your s**t and whatever else you do to him just no matter how bad it is. He doesn't care because he just wants to be with you no matter what.


Alright that's all we could come up with. But feel free to add to the list in your comments I'm sure we've left plenty things out. But the bottom line is that although there are some thirsty women out there, they don't close to match the numbers of thirsty men. I guess some of these guys didn't get the memo that women out number men in most places. You would think that would deter them from being so thirsty; however, it doesn't and it won't.

So to those thirsty men out there. Please stop being so damn thirsty! Ya'll make it harder for us regular guys to even get a chance because of how thirsty the last guy that tried was. So calm your thirsty asses down, for starters here's a glass of water on me. LoL.
--C-Recks--
--DrizaDre--

To Know or Not To Know

"I don't wanna know If you're playin' me, keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore. And if your creepin, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know. " - Mario Winans.

When this song came out in 2004 I didn't know at the time but I was in a similar situation as Mario Winans was speaking of. Yep I was being cheated on. Well I just now heard the song on the radio and started to think. If I could go back to that situation with my ex would I really want to know? Meaning if I could have found out in advance from her as opposed to the way I found out would I rather have known? Or if say a friend would have seen her would I really want them to tell me? Well regardless of what transpired previously my immediate reaction to this question is still hell yes dammit tell me!! Whether it be from her directly of someone else by all means let me know. Not sure what each of your responses are but my response to the question based on a number of reasons as you'll read below.



Respect my health. First off the obvious reason has to do with my own personal health. If you're out there creeping and still coming home doing the thing with me too I should have the right to know. If we're in a committed relationship then most likely we're not using any type of protection. Now I would hope as you creep out doing your dirt that you would use some type of protection to keep yourself clean. However, regardless if you are or not at least give me the opportunity to make the decision of if I want to risk still sleeping with you.




Help me to avoid the confrontation. Tell me now so that there won't be any surprises. Whatever I choose to do with the information well that's just a consequence of telling. But at least telling me in advance lessens the chances of the consequences being violent. Although, it may not make me any less angry at what you did at least hearing it from you as opposed to catching you or hearing it from a 3rd party will ''hopefully'' keep me from reacting on that anger.

True story: When my ex and I were going through whatever some years back I recall going out to pay some bills. We had 2 cars and our son was in the car with me. So as I make a turn I see a car that looks like hers drive past in the opposite lane of traffic and stop at the light. I thought naw it couldn't be there's a guy driving. But my instinct tells me to just make sure. So I make a U-Turn and pull up on the right side of the car. As I'm pulling up I immediately noticed from the plate number that it's definitely her car. As I pull up next to the car I look over and it's none other than my (then) wife. And some negro driving the car I just made a payment on. Now everything in me wanted to crash into the car and then get out and grab the tire iron out the trunk and start smashing the s**t out of her car. Then probably take the same punishment out on the 2 of them. Honestly, I'm really not violent at all but hey I am human. But again those were just my natural instincts and luckily they didn't kick in. I had to remember I had my son who was not even a year old in the back seat. So instead I pulled up next to the car slowly and as she looked to the right saw my face. The look on her face was priceless. Now I have heard the saying "if looks could kill." Well let's just say that if they could that day her ass would have instantly died in that passenger seat. Thank God I didn't do anything crazy, I turned at the light and let them go on there way. But the point of the story is don't put me in the position to have to claim temporary insanity before a judge because I happen to catch you up.



Don't turn me into Sherlock Homeboy. Why make me go through the motions of suspecting you are cheating and trying to find evidence of this. Next thing you know you got me searching through your phone, e-mails, listening on your calls, checking up on whether or not you are where you say you are, etc. Got me out here like that Mya Song "Ridin'." You know the lyrics "I'm ridin', I'm ridin' past your momma's house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin' past your boys house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin', I'm ridin' tryin to find you..." Yeah that's a horrible place to be right there. But then when I don't initially find anything I look like the crazy jealous spouse. You even make me feel bad for suspecting you of cheating and call me insecure.

Don't make me look like a fool. If you know you're out there doing what you doing and there are others (like your girls or family), know then don't have me around them like everything is all good. Because while I'm still thinking we all in love and I'm steady doing all the things that I would normally do, your friends and or family are saying in their head "poor fool if he only knew." Now the worst of the worst would be to actually have me around the the person you're cheating with. This is just plain foul. Because while I'm being all cool and buddy buddy with them, you both knowing damn well I'm playing myself like a game of solitaire the whole time.




Don't waste my time. If you are so unhappy that you must cheat on your spouse then at least come clean and admit what you've done. Why let the relationship drag on for months and years while you're unhappy and still out there cheating? Doing this is nothing but being stingy and inconsiderate. Basically you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. Although you're unhappy you're still staying. Whether it be for financial, emotional, or other reasons you're still leading your spouse on. In those months you've prolonged the inevitable we could have split, gone our separate ways, and I could have possibly been over it by now. Or I could have dealt with the initial infraction of you cheating and we could have either gotten past it or ended things cordially. But instead you chose to waste my time.





Man or Woman Up!! The bottom line is that yes cheating is dead wrong, but unfortunately it happens every day all day. Yep right now someone's man or woman is cheating on them as you read. It's very sad I know. But we all make mistakes in life some bigger than others. But just like any other wrong doing what you do after is what's going to determine your true character. Will you admit your wrong doing and accept whatever the consequences of your actions may be? Or will you hide your cheating and keep stringing your significant other along? My suggestion is to Man or Woman Up!! What's done in the dark will eventually come to light as they say. And Karma always comes back to you harder.





--C-Recks--

Inconvenient Convenience

If you're alive today then there's a 99% chance you have either sent or received a text message before. Now I will admit that I love and enjoy the convenience of being able to text as opposed to making a call. Plus since a young kid I've never been that much of a phone person. I was talking to my son (4yrs. old about to be 5) on the phone the other day and after the usual how are you, how was your day, what are you up to I over hear him whisper to his mom "Mom I don't have anything else to talk about." But I can feel him I'd rather be playing than have a long conversation with my dad too. But I'm sure if his spelling game was a little more advanced he'd probably say just text me daddy. LoL.

Well although a text message can have plenty of advantages and they usually outweigh the disadvantages, there are some things that can still bother you about texting. Maybe it's not necessarily the text message itself but there are certain things associated with text messaging that can be erking to some. Or maybe it has more to do with the person that you're texting on the other end. I've just come up with some things that I'm sure we all have experienced pertaining to the text message and well you can decide how you feel in particular about each item.

Text Forwards

I wrote an entire blog about text forwards you can read it yourself. So no need to elaborate too much more on it. But it's a big pet peeve of mines so it tops this list. Just know that if you forward me a text 9/10 you won't get it back. LoL.

Response Time

Is there a protocol as for how soon one should respond to a text message? Now I normally don't read rules and instructions. I usually just take things out of the box and figure out how they work on my own. So is there something is the manual for the phone that states one must respond to a text message in a certain amount of time? I'm sure we've all gotten that text from whoever stating or asking something. Well perhaps you were busy at the time, sleeping or just didn't want to respond right away. But the next thing you know you're getting a call with someone asking "why didn't you reply back to my text?" Now let's not confuse this person with a serial dialer as my brother mentioned in an earlier blog. To be honest I've done this one myself. Then after I call I tend to ask myself if it was this important shouldn't I have just called in the first place? LoL.

Accidental Texts

I was recently got a text from my son's mother and she was telling me how excited my son was to wear the costume I bought him for Halloween. So, I replied back and then I got another text from her that said "I love you too and have a wonderful day." Well it was obvious that this was clearly not for me. However, once you press send on that text message it's over. As much as you hope and wish you could get it back it's definitely too late. But lucky for her I knew that it was sent to the wrong person. A different kind of ex may have taken that text the wrong way. I've made the mistake of texting the wrong person as well. My mom and brother have similar names; in fact, there is only 1 letter different in their names. Not to mention their phone numbers have the same first 5 numbers. So there have been many of times I've accidently text my mom instead of my brother. Although my mom is really cool, I'm glad those accidental texts [meant for my brother] weren't anything too vulgar like they can be at times. LoL.

Text Assumptions

Have you ever gotten this text? "I'll just hit you later you seem busy." If I'm texting you back and we're texting back and forth how can I seem busy? Now if this other person is your spouse or better half that can just sense things about you I can understand such a response. But to just make such an assumption based on reading a text message is to me without merit. The same goes with this one. "You seem upset or mad." How? Did the words come across your phone screen differently than I texted? The problem with reading words is that the reader gets to intepret (whether out loud or in their head) how the words are spoken. No different than when you're reading a book or even this blog. You [the reader] get to choose the tone of what you're reading. The same goes for a text message. And often the reader can make an assumption which can be so off the mark. And you know what they say about when you assume.

Text Arguments

I know that everyone reading has probably had an argument by text. I personally hate arguing at all, let alone via text. Now it could start from something like mentioned above where a wrong assumption is made based on a text message. The next thing you know someone is typing in all CAPITAL LETTERS. And you know what that means, yep they're now yelling at you. And dont forget the exclamation marks!!!!!!! That's showing them you really mean business. Oh wait what about the little mean smiley faces >:-O Is that the yelling one? Well my problem with text arguing is that when I do it I think to myself what am I doing and why don't I just pick up the phone and say what I need to say? But unfortunately once you've started a text argument it's like a 12 round boxing match and you just don't want to throw in the towel. However, there can be an advantage to arguments by text. For instance, you can think more about what you want to say and strategically choose your words. Whether they be the perfect upper cut, a little jab here and there, or even dancing around the ring like Ali trying to avoid further confrontation. Where as in a face to face or even phone argument at times you speak the first thing that comes to mind which usually adds fuel to the fire of an argument. But don't take too long to respond. As stated with response time either the person you're arguing with will think you're ignoring them or even that they won the argument. You may get a text stating "Nothing to say huh? Thought so!!"

Drunk Texting

Now this is definitely one of those times where you probably wish your phone wasn't so technologically advanced and that had an old school brick cell phone. Drinking and texting is definitely not as dangerous as drinking and driving but the results can also be tragic in nature. Have you ever had a little bit too much to drink then sent a text that said something you shouldn't have said to someone you know damn well you shouldn't have even been texting? Well usually when it happens just like most things you do while intoxicated you don't realize what has taken place until the next morning. As soon as you start to reading those texts from that individual the you scratch your head wondering what they're talking about. That is until you open the sent folder and see exactly what you were texting. In response to your discovery you'll usually let out an "Oh S**t!!" and then try to figure out how you'll clean this one up.

Recently Google unveiled "Mail Goggles" which actually helps to prevent drunk e-mailing. When activated Google will require the e-mailer to solve a series of math questions in order to determine that they're in the right mind state to send that e-mail. Once you complete the questions the e-mail will be sent. However, if you can not solve the simple to complex math questions (as previously determined by the user) the e-mail will not be sent. Hopefully for all of us drunk texters out there they'll eventually install a technology such as this in cell phones.

Text Abbreviations

Now luckily I've been able to keep up with some of the younger generation and their text talk as I like to call it. But sometimes even I'm stumped. I mean I can recognize the basics such as LOL (Laugh Out Loud), TTYL (Talk to you later), LMAO (Laughing My ass off), LMAFO (Laughing my f**king ass off), IDK (I don't know), BF (Boyfriend), GF (Girlfriend), BFF (Best friend forever), OMG (Oh My God), BRB (Be Right Back), JK (Just Kidding), BTW (By the Way), Etc. But then again there are some abbreviations that I would never be able to figure out. For instance, FIIK (F**K If I know), I would have never gotten that one. Or FEITCTAJ (F**k 'em if they can't take a joke), which I should know since my grandfather always says this. Also, GTFO (Get The F**k Out) and SWL (Screaming With Laughter). Basically the list goes on. Whatever happen to regular English? Now you have to be able to speak text talk. If you want to brush up on your text talk skills there's a whole list of abbreviations you can check out here. I just wouldn't try to impress your friends with any of those abbreviations unless they've also studied this list. Or you'll probably get a text response back like "WTF" (What the F**k?)

Well regardless of what I like and don't like about texting I won't lie and say I would want to give it up as a feature on my cell phone. Like I said there are much more benefits than there are negative things associated with the text message. In fact, I just ordered the new G-1 (to the left) phone from T-Mobile last week. It should arrive in another week or so. So basically you know that the text messages won't be stopping anytime soon.

So as Lil' Wayne said "Unless ya Feel a lil desperate send a nigga a text message."

--C-Recks--

A Thin Line Between Love and Inmate

With the emergence of the Internet as a tool to find love, there is no wonder why online dating services are thriving even in this recession bound economy. You can find any type of online dating website for whatever your dating preference may be. If you don't believe me just Google what you like along with the word dating and I bet that you find some online dating website that offers it. I have seen advertisements for BBW (Big Beautiful Women), Interracial, Gay/Homosexual, Christian, Ebony, etc. all over the Internet. Well there is a blog soon to come about online dating but I wanted to focus this blog on a specific area of online dating. I recently I saw a disturbing advertisement in a magazine. It was an advertisement for a Prison Internet Dating website.

Now this disturbed me for a number of reasons. First, I started to think that to me the Internet, much like cable television is really a luxury item. So, I began to wonder why on earth are my tax dollars going to anything more than the basic essentials for prisoners? For instance, food, water, bed, and some books. At the time I didn't even have Internet access and was sort of appalled that someone doing time in jail could access the Internet. I was not for sure if this was true or if this ad was some sort of scam so I decided do some research and find out if prison inmates do indeed have Internet access.

Well much to my surprise the articles I came across actually did prove the advertisement to be legit. There really are some states and some prisons that allow for prison inmates to have limited access to the Internet. Apparently those prisons that do have Internet but have strict guidelines and security measures and inmates are monitored while using the Internet. But most prisons choose not to allow inmates access to the Internet. There are many reasons why prisons choose to restrict or eliminate Internet use amongst prisoners. One major reason is pretty simple let us not forget these are criminals. So, there is a greater potential for inmates to use the Internet for criminal activity. The biggest fear is probably the possibility of inmates using the Internet to threaten or harass witnesses/victims and their families.

So what do these Jail Dating websites really do? Well at http://www.writeaprisoner.com/ inmates seek pen pals to write them. So the inmates place an ad on the site that includes details about them (some including the crime they were convicted of) and an optional picture. You can click on the inmate that interests you and there you have it their prison address. Send off your letter and then there you have it you have now made your connection with an inmate. Also, you have the option to e-mail a message and they will download and mail it directly to the prisoner. Seems like a pretty simple process. Also, http://www.prisonpenpals.com/ and http://www.inmate.com/ offer a very similar service. However, there are sites such as http://www.ladiesofthepen.com/ and http://www.cellblockmail.com/ that actually charge you a nominal fee ($5 and up) to receive the prisoners mailing address. The theory behind these websites is simply that prisoners are lonely and communication with the outside world is beneficial in the rehabilitation of the inmate. Also, we all know there isn't much to do in prison and as the old saying goes"an idle mind is the devil's playground."

The problem with some of these pay sites is that some of them are total scams. To be honest if you're really looking for a prison inmate to connect with and write most local and state corrections facilities have websites. For instance, you can search for prisoners inside any Illinois Corrections Facility simply by logging on their website. They list along with the inmate's picture, their full name, age, height, weight, types of tattoos, and the crime they are convicted of and the expected release date. Of course it also lists their inmate # and you can obtain the mailing address if you really wanted to write them. In fact, I would go as far to say that if dating inmates is your thing then this would be a better and safer route than using any of the aforementioned websites. The reason being, that on those websites you have no way to verify if the information listed is accurate. So if John Doe lists on inmate.com that he is in jail for robbery serving 5 years how are you to even know if this is true? It could be that John is really serving 25 to life for murder. I would say verifying the information about the prisoner would be the way to avoid possibly being scammed.

Snail mail or mail sent through the U.S. Postal Service has dramatically decreased over the years. With the ability to E-Mail, instant message, text, and pay bills online, most don't really find a need for postage stamps anymore. Hence, the constant rate hikes on postage stamps. Also, e-mail has become the most preferred method of contact when it comes to mail. To demonstrate this fact I have 2 key examples.

First, my 4 year old son was recently talking to my aunt on the phone. And some how she mentioned she wanted him to mail her some money. Well he agreed and said I will and asked her what's your E-Mail address? No he didn't ask her physical address. At 4 years old he's up to date on technology and has no concept of postal mail.

The next example deals directly with the topic at hand. My brother was recently requested by a female friend of his that was incarcerated to write her in jail. Well he asked me if I had ever written anyone in jail and what should they even say to the person incarcerated. Well I first had to even think when was the last time I even sat down and wrote a hand written letter. To my recollection it had been probably at least 5-7 years. But much like my son was thinking, I said if the letter can't be e-mailed there's a good chance you're not getting it from me jail or no jail. LoL. Well to make a long story short he never sat down and wrote the letter. She wrote him a few times pleading him to write back but he just couldn't do it. Well when she got out of jail the first thing she asked was "Why didn't you write me?" Sadly to avoid hurting her feelings he lied and said he did write and it must have been somehow lost between the mailbox and the prison.

But I think it's safe to say that many people are like me and rarely take the time to write a letter to someone in prison. I'm sure it somewhat has to do with not knowing what to really say to them. This is probably a good reason why some inmates receive little to no mail while incarcerated. But of course when they get out of jail just like my brother's friend did they will ask "Why didn't you write me?"

However, the Federal Bureau of Prisons (The Fed) has come up with a way that can maybe combat this problem. They have introduced a program called TRULINCS short for (Trust Fund Limited Inmate Computer System). This system allows for inmates to have limited computer access where they send and receive e-mails without having to access the Internet. The system is in a limited number of BOP facilities but is expected to be in all facilities by 2011. Basically the way the system works is this. The inmate must request to have a person added to their [prison] approved list of contacts. The system generates a request to that person advising them that the inmate wishes to communicate with them through e-mail. Once the recipient approves they can then begin sending e-mails. All correspondence is monitored, the e-mails can not exceed 13,000 characters (approximately 2 pages), and no attachments can be included. And I'm happy to report that funding for TRULINCS is not provided by tax payers. In fact, funding is provided entirely by the Inmate Trust Fund, which is maintained by profits from inmate purchases of commissary products, telephone services, and the fees inmates pay for TRULINCS.

So, one of my main questions is what is the draw to dating someone in prison? I mean it's a little bit different if you're already with that person and they happen to go to jail then and you just want to stand by your man or woman. However, I'm curious to know, has the dating pool been so depleted that we are now resorting to searching for available bachelors and bachelorettes in jail? Or is it a deeper reason why individuals will search for convicted felons to date? I recall on an episode of the sitcom "Seinfeld" the character George was dating a woman in prison. He stated that it was the perfect relationship because "he knows where she is, doesn't have to worry about the pop in, and has little competition." LoL. Regardless of the reasoning behind searching for a companion in jail I guess the main point is there is someone for everyone. This includes prison inmates. I mean everyone needs love right?

--C-Recks--

Don't Quit Your Date Job

Since I began searching for a new job a few months back I have gone through the entire process from beginning to end. Likewise I have been single for a while and dating off and on for a while as well. I recently just started thinking about the 2 processes and began to notice some similarities between job hunting and searching for a mate. These thoughts led me to me conclude that the 2 are almost one in the same. I know it may sound a bit odd but let me go ahead and break it down for you.





Apply
When you find a job that interests you the first step to obtaining that job is to apply for it. So you submit your application whether it be in person or online. Well when you're looking for that special someone you have to sort of start with an application as well. When you first meet that person it's like applying for a job. You're letting it be known that you're interested in the position (in this case being their man or woman) that is available. So you go up to that person and introduce yourself have a brief conversation and depending on how well it goes one of two things will happen. You will either get that person's phone number or you will leave yours with them. However, if that initial meeting didn't go well your application (phone number) will most likely immediately be trashed.

Therefore, first impressions are always important. Most people think to only dress up for the interview. But even when just submitting a job application the way you dress/look when you drop off or fill out that application is crucial. If you come in looking like you want and deserve the job then you're most likely to reach the next stage in the hiring process. But if you don't dress the part most likely the person that takes your application will discard it and not forward it on. And when you do submit that application you will receive the same response all the time. "We will review your application against those of other qualified applicants and if we find your qualifications meet our needs we will contact you." In dating terms this essentially means don't call me I'll call you.


Phone Interview
Once you've submitted your application you have to await a call back. Now what will be taking place in this time is a brief review of your qualifications. Although it was a short encounter again first impressions are everything. So once it has been determined that you are a potential candidate for employment an initial phone call will be made. Now just like an in person interview you must be prepared for this phone interview. Make sure the call is uninterrupted. You don't want to have your phone blowing up on the other end and constantly be putting the other party on hold.

During this phone interview you will be asked all types of questions regarding your education and present and past dating history and experience. Including the length of those relationship and why your employment was terminated with that previous employer. Also, you will be asked about your best and worst qualities, your good and bad habits, your hopes/aspirations, etc. If it wasn't asked on the initial application the "have you ever been convicted of felony?" question will come up. Basically they want to know what you will bring to the table. What will you do to add to or improve an already successful (single) operation. It is important to answer these questions carefully and honestly as they may come up again if you make it to the next stage in the interview process. The phone interview process may take place over a number of phone calls and conversations as the prospective employer gathers information on you and determines whether to invite you to interview with them personally.


In Person Interview
Once the employer has conducted the telephone interviews they will either determine that you're not qualified enough or that you may have potential and invite you to interview in person aka on a date. When the date and time has been set it is important that you again prepare for this interview. Review your responses to the previous phone interview questions as they may come up again and you want to make sure your answers are the same. Also, you must dress even better than you did when you submitted your initial application. This is your opportunity to show them that you can dress the part. Even if the meeting is informal you still want to make a good impression. So once you arrive and greet your perspective employer your interview will begin. Most of the same questions will come back up but you will be judged more on your ability to answer the questions honestly, correctly and confidently. If you successfully impress the prospective employer in this stage of the interview process then you may be invited for a 2nd interview. As you converse and speak you try to get a feel for the person asking the questions. You get smiles, nods, and even the occasional laugh. However, once the interview is done you're still never quite sure how you did. You may feel as if it was your best ever. But again, you can never predict the thoughts of the person interviewing you. So they leave you with those parting words. "Thank you for interviewing with us today, we have a few other candidates to interview and we'll be making our decision by next week." This again means don't call me I may call you.


2nd Interview
So you breezed through the in person interview and passed with flying colors. Well when you get that call back please don't assume that it is to offer you the position. In fact, you're still quite a ways from the finish line. This call back is most likely going to be an invitation to interview a second time. Now with most employers the second interview is with someone higher up such as a manager or CEO. However, in dating terms you will have to be interviewed by "the friend(s)." So you may be invited out with her and her girls or him and his boys. The purpose of this interview is for the employer to get the approval or disapproval of their friends. This interview is actually harder than the 2 previous ones. The reason being, that you are being evaluated and scrutinized by 2 or more individuals. Not to mention you are not privy to what information has already been told about you to those friends. Therefore, they could have a preconceived notion about you to begin with. However, your goal is to charm the hell out of those friends with hopes that they will give you a good review and their approval of you being able to succeed in this position.


Job Offer
The time has come!! With glee and joy you answer your phone, check your mail box and e-mail awaiting response on the job. But when it comes don't get your hopes up too high. That management position you were seeking you don't yet qualify for. However, there is an internship position that is available. It is non-paid, and there are no "benefits." But if you work very hard in this position you can eventually get promoted to higher positions and reach that desired level. Are you still interested in working for this employer? If not trust there is another ready and willing applicant that will start off doing whatever job they have to just to be employed.


Career Path
Unfortunately you didn't nail the position you were seeking. However, the bright side is you are now employed by a great employer and as stated you do have potential to move up if you do a good enough job. There will be regular review of your performance monthly. Below are the stages of progression you will go through before achieving your desired goal.




Intern - Dating
Entry Level Position - Exclusively Dating
Sr. Associate - Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Supervisor/Manager - Fiance'
Executive - Husband/Wife


Disclaimer
Make sure that you re-read the disclaimer that was on the bottom of the application you originally filled out.


I certify that the information contained in this application is correct to the best of my
knowledge. I understand that to falsify information is grounds for refusing to hire me, or
for discharge should I be hired.

I authorize any person, organization or company listed on this application to furnish
you any and all information concerning my previous employment, education and qualifications
for employment. I also authorize you to request and receive such information.

In consideration for my employment, I agree to abide by the rules and regulations of
the company, which rules may be changed, withdrawn, added or interpreted at any time,
at the company's sole option and without prior notice to me.

I also acknowledge that my employment may be terminated, or any offer or acceptance
of employment withdrawn, at any time, with or without cause, and with or without
prior notice at the option of the company or myself.




So in other words keep in mind that at any point during this process and even after being hired and promoted your ass can and will be kicked to the curb. Or as Donald Trump would say "You're Fired!!!"


--C-Recks--

A Penny For My Thoughts

Alright. There have been some things on my mind. Topics that might not be able to support a full blog, but definitely worth sharing. So here comes another edition of Pennies for my thoughts.







At this point we should have all heard of the "Nigerian email scam". For those of you who haven't heard of it, here's a quick recap of the scam. A person would receive an email from someone that they have never met in their entire lives. The email has some version of, and I'm paraphrasing here, "I have a lot of money that was left to me by the king/queen of some unheard of African nation. Some kind of government bureaucracy prohibits me from having access to this money. If you send me some money, it will allow me to somehow receive this money, and in turn I will repay you handsomely."

Well as vague as that description was, the emails are probably just about as vague, if not more so. Here's my question. Who the hell are those individuals who fell for this scam? I mean, I might have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. If you have access to a fortune, was it not someone within your inner circle who couldn't lend you the necessary funds to procure this supposed fortune? I mean, if it does exist, why not give your people access to it? Next question. OK, let's say that all your friends are broke as hell, and they can't help you with that at all. Why is your next "logical" act to send an unsolicited email to Grandma Betty in Cheyenne, Wyoming? (A rhetorical question of course).

Last question. Have there been any black people who fell prey to the Nigerian email scam? I'm not saying that blacks are smarter or anything like that, but I will say that black people are more naturally skeptical and suspicious than the average white person. I blame it on slavery! Yes slavery. We fell for that one hook, line and sinker. So I believe its ingrained in us to be naturally suspicious of pretty much everything. Can't get caught slippin again.

A quick update about the Nigerian email scam. I read an article about a politician in Nigeria who believes that the people who fall victim to this scam should be prosecuted for greed just like the perpetrators. I'm normally one who believes in hammering criminals. But damn, I do have a heart. The people may have been snaked out of their life's fortunes in some cases, should they really go to jail in the process? Just a thought.



I wrote a while back about the subject of an inner "bad ass kid". Well along the same lines, I would like to talk about another time in which that inner bad ass kid comes out. When we see midgets. Now I know that midget is an offensive term. So you may call them little people, or vertically challenged. I myself call them midgets! I don't know why it is that after 30 years on this Earth, the sight of a midget still brings out a curiosity factor in me. I don't laugh or anything like that, ok, well not on the outside. But I am still intrigued by the sight. And I doubt if I'm the only person. One more thing on the subject of midgets. If there are any midgets reading this, ya'll have to stop exploiting yourselves. There's already the curiosity factor, you don't need to complicate things by allowing yourselves to be tossed for sport, filmed wrestling, and definitely not doing porn. (Background, my boy set me up, and gave me a flick with a scene with a midget in it. Not my choice, I still hold salt with him to this day for that).



Has anyone ever seen a 7-11 closed? I was out last night, and the young lady I was with asked me to stop at the 7-11. I pulled into the parking lot, and she stated "I don't see anyone in there. I think they're closed." Now mind you, its only about 9:45 at night. But as I replayed her statement in my head, it got me to thinking, have I ever seen a 7-11 closed? I don't believe I ever have. And I believe you'd be hard pressed to come up with a time that you have as well.







Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever. I know that I might not be taking much of a great leap by stating that, but I will prove it with a simple argument. During his tenure, Michael Jordan kept some of the best players ever from winning a championship. From the NBA's 50 greatest players of all time: Karl Malone, Charles Barkley, Clyde Drexler, and Patrick Ewing. Other great players from this era not to have championship rings due to Michael include: Reggie Miller, John Stockton, Gary Payton, and Dominique Wilkins. I can state that all of these players would be NBA Champions, if not for playing in "Michael Jordan" era. (Also, I want to state that if it weren't for the retirement of Michael for two years, Hakeem Olajuwon would not have gotten his rings. David Robinson only got his rings once Michael retired the second time. So as far as I'm concerned, they belong on this list as well).


Well that's enough for now. Just 4. Coupled with my last post, you now owe me 9 cents. As usual, you know I'll put it on your tab. (Just know that at some point we will have to settle up. Lol).


-Drizadre-

Text and E-Mail Forwards...

Okay I know you all either get them or some of you are the annoying people that send them. Yes I'm talking about those damn e-mail and text message forwards. I can't even count how many times a day I get these damn things. And to add insult to injury I'm one of the lucky people that has a smart phone so I get double the exposure. (Lucky Me).

What's the purpose though? I mean yes a select few are funny. I don't mind those. But I hate the ones that come with instructions followed by some warning about if you don't forward them.

"Send this to 10 people or you'll have bad sex for the next 10 years."

"Send this to 10 people or you'll die."

"Send this to 10 people or you're going to hell."

I mean wtf??? I've never heard this one in the commandments. "Thou shalt not delete forwarded text messages."

The e-mails are probably worse. Filling up my inbox worse than spam. And they're longer who has time to read 20 forwarded e-mails from work. I have work to do dammit!! At least with spam you can click the unsubscribe button and stop em. But these come from people I know and love. If you love me why annoy me? Don't worry I return the love with each click of the delete button. Lol.

My question is this. Who's the person that originates these things. Who sits and thinks of some of this stuff? Who really has the time? I don't even have the time to forward them to the 10 people. I would like to one day though and send it out to one person and see if it ever comes back from someone other than that person. It would be something stupid as hell. Here just thought of one.

"This text message is for all of you that love to be annoyed, here's another meaningless message just because I have nothing better to do. If you're smart you'll just delete this. But if you don't forward you'll receive 200 more annoying forwards today."

Sound about right? Hell it may get around the world if I send it. So Look for it in an e-mail box near you.

C-Recks out!!