It's A One-derful Life

Chorus:

"I been looking for the One but she's so hard to find, so I guess I gotta grind, until the stars align, Don't mind, waiting if it's gone take some time, but I wish someone would just show me a sign..."

Verse 1:

"I searched the ends of the earth and still haven't found, someone to hold me down, and wear my crown, I need a queen is that too much to ask? Someone with class, that's gone erase my past? Cuz I done been through (been through) heartache and pain, and I'm getting too old to be trying to play games, and I done changed (changed), my ways a lot, but my heart kinda empty there's a vacant spot, I'm just looking for the one to fill, and come for real, if I'm broke with bills, or holding a mil, still, she gone be there, it's only fair, and I won't even lie it's getting lonely here, I need love like L, sometimes it might fail, and you gone get used like drugs that hypes sell, it's like hell, so I gotta see heaven quick, the rest irrelevant, I want someone that's heaven sent. I want the one..."

C-Recks - "The One"

The above song lyrics come from a song I wrote and produced entitled "The One" which appears on my upcoming album Ripped from the Headlines (Shameless plug I know). Well I have had this conversation with people in the past. But I still question, is there really a such thing as The One? I mean is there really that one soul mate that God created for each and every one of us somewhere out there in the world? Are they searching just like you and waiting for that opportunity for your paths to cross?

These are questions I often ask myself. If you've read anything on this blog that I've written in the past then you know that I often reference the fact I used to be married. Marrying and then divorcing will often cause one to lose their faith in the love and marriage area. So I often question the existence of "The One." Although I'm very content with my current situation, it doesn't mean that I don't have the same human characteristics as anyone else. You know what I mean. The wanting to be loved, and wanting to give your unconditional love to another.

Now I say that; however, I'm not the type that will just settle for any old relationship. Nor am I the type that yearns to be loved so much that I will accept the first or next person the comes along trying to give me their love. Truth be told if I just wanted any old relationship I could have had that by now. But maybe I'm too specific in what I want. Some may call it high standards I just say I'm waiting on "The One."

I mean there's someone for everyone right? At least that's what the advertisements for the Internet dating sites want us to believe. LoL. I recently saw an on-line article stating that world's heaviest man (700 lbs) just got married. Now I'm in no way trying to talk about him or hate on him. But if this man can find someone to love all 700 pounds of him, then there's got to be someone for my buck and some change frame. LoL. If nothing else, I think this guy getting married illustrates one of the greatest things about real love. It shows the fact that it's truly unconditional. When I love again I want someone that will accept me as I am. Flaws and all. Not someone that says "well I really like this about you, but you can stand to change this or that." As the saying goes if you can't accept me at my worst you don't deserve my best." Well who knows when that time will come when my One comes along. But I found some words I wanted to express to her now. Please continue to read on while Ruben Studdard helps co-sign on the previous point.

Ruben Studdard - "Change me"

Dear "The One, "

Where ever you are and who ever you are there are some things I want to say to you in advance. I have so much love to give to you that it's not even funny. And believe me when the time comes I will love you unconditionally as you are. I won't try to change the person that you are. All I ask is that you do me the same. Below I've listed some of the things that make me, well me. They are in no particular order of course.

1. Please accept the fact that I am slim in stature and no matter how much I eat I have never and probably will never be able to gain any significant weight. I've always been this way. Call it high metabolism, good genes, or whatever you want. But please feel free to cook all you want to try and fatten me up as I love to eat.

2. Accept that I drink. Nothing excessive of course. But I mainly drink beer. After a long hard day of work there is nothing better to come home to than you, a great meal and a nice cold beer (or 2 or 4). LoL. But I promise I would never let beer or alcohol affect me or us in any way. Hell I don't even have a beer belly (review #1).

3. I have a son and he is truly my world. We are a package deal. Therefore, if you accept me then you must in turn accept him. He is a lot like me so you should have no problem getting along with and eventually loving him too. But I warn you he gets attached to people fast. So if you don't get to meet him right away just know that's the parental instinct in me. Also, he's a little flirt too, so don't be surprised if he has a bigger crush on you than me. And don't worry me and his mom have absolutely no drama going on. So rest assured that you'll never be put in a drama type situation when it comes to my son.

4. I have a passion for music. I have been into music since a young boy. I really got deep into it when I started to write and perform. I would love to eventually turn my passion into a career. But at the same time I'm rational and know that the odds of that happening are slim to none. So, I still work my regular 9-5. However, being that this is my passion I will always be doing it regardless of whether a career ever begins. So accept that some nights I may be in the studio doing what you may even consider nothing or even a waste of time. But please don't ever say that. I'm just doing what I love. Don't worry I promise that I will never let it take away from the time we spend together. Besides I'm a little talented I even wrote and produced the song above [The One] about you before I even met you.

5. I tend to be like most men and hide and don't show my emotions too much. Well just know that the only reason for that is because I was probably the opposite a long time ago and was criticized by the person I was with for it. So now I'm this way. I know it may seem as if certain things don't move me emotionally, but know that is probably not the case. I have a heart and once I've allowed you in it I can't control certain emotions and feelings. Therefore, if you hurt I hurt, if you cry I cry even if it's not seen outwardly.

6. I am a man of few words the majority of the time. I know I write these blogs and can say and express so much. But on average I don't say too much. You may tell me about your day and have a million and one things to say about what took place. However, if you ask me how my day was, 9 times out of 10 I'm going to respond in one of a few different ways. "It was OK, aight, cool, or deeso." This doesn't mean that I don't want to let you know how my day was or that I'm hiding something. However, if it's not interesting to me I usually won't speak on it. My daily mundane activities at work don't thrill me and I wouldn't expect them to thrill you or anyone else. Every now and then I have something happen that's interesting, but those days are few and far between. However, I will listen intently to every detail of your day and respond accordingly.

7. I'm hard to read. You may never be able to tell what it is that I'm thinking at a particular time. However, please don't try to speculate or assume. If you want to know all you have to do is ask and I will share. Not much upsets me or gets to me, but I can't stand assumptions especially incorrect ones. I hate arguments and fights and avoid them at all costs, even if I have to apologize knowing I did nothing wrong. Most times I probably have something similar to the patience of Job. But making an incorrect assumption will for sure upset me, possibly prompt an argument and test my patience for sure.

8. I'm not ballin and I may never be. If this music thing never makes it to the majors or mainstream, I may be stuck working a typical 9-5 until retirement. I will always work my ass off for the man just to keep what we have stable and try to get more. I may not make 6 figures; however, I will always be striving to make more to provide for us. Even if that takes me going back to school (which I plan to do hopefully next year), starting my own business, or even working 2 and 3 jobs.

9. I know that after we make hot passionate love for an hour or more that you want me to cuddle with and hold you. However, that's rarely going to happen. I may start off that way but most likely I'll end up on my side with about a foot of space between you and I. Please don't think that I don't like holding you or that the sex we just had wasn't worthy of you being held afterward. Neither is the case. I just have a particular way of sleeping. I get hot in my sleep and my instinct is to move away from the heat source. I may move from you, then remove my blankets all in the middle of my sleep. But then I'll probably get cold, so don't be surprised if you find me snuggled up next to you again at some point in the middle of the night. Just know it still won't last long. LoL.

10. I like to dress a certain way. My clothes do not make me who I am. I am who I am regardless of how I dress. I'm not saying that I walk around in bummy clothes or anything. It's quite the opposite. However, my love of hip hop and music pretty much dictates my wardrobe. I know that I am close to 30 and some may say "you should dress your age." But I say I'm doing me. So if that means wearing a hoodie, a fitted hat, and some Air Force Ones, then that's how you'll find me most of the time. It doesn't mean that I'm a thug or hood, because I'm far from it. It's just how I dress. Now that doesn't mean that I don't know how to switch it up given the occasion. I have plenty of casual clothing that I can wear when I take you out on a date. Also, I have suits I can wear when we're going to so and so's wedding, graduation, etc. But please accept this and don't try to force me to wear what you want me to wear.

P.S. There are plenty more things about me, but I will end it with these 10. Just keep in mind that curse (kind of a lot), I look young (not at all like I'm about to be 30 soon), I may or may not want any more kids (I'm on the fence about this one), my credit is bad (divorce hurts more than your heart), I don't attend church (at this time at least), I'm not that handy, Etc.

If you can accept these things about me and not try to change me, then you will have a man that will love and do almost any and everything to make you happy. A man that will love, honor, respect, and cherish your very being. Because just by accepting me for me you will be making me happy. So I would want to return that type of love to you at almost any cost. And we will truly have a wonderful life.

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Cory.

Now that I look at it all written out like that I guess those are a lot of things to accept. Perhaps that's why there can only be 1, One. Many are called but One is chosen as they say. Depending on the response to this I may post the second verse of the song which goes into a little more depth and reply to it as I did here. We'll see.

--C-Recks--

When Thug's Cry...

Ever listen to a song that almost made you want to cry? Or a song that some how tugged at your emotions enough to actually make you shed a tear? I'm sure every one's answer is yes and can come up with a list of songs to fit this category. But have you ever listened to a Rap Song that caused you to get a bit emotional? Yeah it's going to take you a little longer to think of one that fits that category.

Given that the majority of rap music listeners are male it's probably hard for them to admit that a rap song may have touched their heart even a tad bit. But as an avid listener of hip hop music for over 23 years I racked my brain and was able to come up with my top 10 list of the most emotional Rap Songs. Now being a man I know it's hard to admit but if you can say that none of these songs ever touched your heart at some point in life when you heard them (not every time but at least once at least one of the songs) not even a little then I don't know what to say but you gotta be damn near heartless.

But anyways here we go with the countdown starting from 10 down to 1.

#10 Runaway Love- Ludacris Feat. Mary J. Blige

This is the most recent song on the top 10. However, Ludacris came with it on this song. The song basically tells 3 different stories of young girls and them going through different struggles. One in an abusive home, another becoming a victim of her gang infested environment, and the last dealing with teenage pregnancy. As if the lyrics don't already make you a bit emotional, Mary J. singing the hook only makes it that much more emotional. As you listen to this story you can almost visualize the tragedies these young girls are going through. "Now little Lisa's only 9 years old she's tryin to figure out why the world is so cold why she's all alone and aint never met her family mama's always gone and she never met her daddy." Ludacris also receives even more props given that this type of song was far from what you're used to from Luda. So Take that Bill O'Reilly!

#9 We'll Always Love Big Poppa - The Lox

Mar. 9, 1997. That's a date that most hip hop fans don't easily forget. It's when we lost one of our Hip Hop greats. The Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls aka Big Poppa. Given the tragic events that took his life at such a young age it was a shocker too the entire Rap World. However, This song by the Lox was not the only tribute to The Late Great Notorious. In fact Puff Daddy (at the time) now known as P.Diddy or Sean Jean had a song called "I'll be Missing You." But I tend to give a little more credibility to The Lox since it seemed like Diddy sort of used this song as a spring board to his solo career. But that's a totally different blog. Back to the Lox. They basically pay their respects to B.I.G. and give you a little history on BIG's Impact and their dealings with him though it was only for a short amount of time. "It make me look back,to where he took rap Dude brought the East back, y'all better believe that He never had a warning, One More Chance was right before him everybody must answer when God's callin."

R.I.P. Big Poppa, We'll always love you BIG!

#8 Dead Homiez - Ice Cube

Now most remember Ice Cube from his N.W.A. days and as a hard core Gangsta rapper. But even as hard core as Cube was back then he took the time to pen these lyrics to reminisce on lost friends. "He got a lot of flowers and a big wreath What good is that when you're six feet deep? I look at that shit and gotta think to myself And thank God for my health 'Cause nobody really ever know When it's gonna be they family on the front row." There are so many quotables on this song to even list without listing the whole song. But a few that come to mind are: "They say "Be Strong" and you're tryin' But how strong can you be when you see your Pops cryin'?" And "But no, I pay my respects and I'm through (whaddup Cube?) Hug my crew, and maybe shed a tear or two." Now a Gangsta Rapper crying, you can't get too much more emotional than that people.

#7 Brenda's Got a Baby - 2pac

I remember this was probably one of the first 2pac solo songs I ever heard. (Yeah those of you that don't know 2pac used to be in a group called Digital Underground Google it). But when I first heard Brenda's Got a Baby it hit me like damn! I mean the lyrics were so vivid and real you couldn't help but feel Pac. Plus it was so far on the other end of the spectrum from what he did with Digital Underground. On this song it was like you almost knew Brenda. He painted her as someone that could be anyone any of us knew. " I hear Brenda's got a baby, But Brenda's barely got a brain A damn shame The girl can hardly spell her name (That's not our problem, that's up to Brenda's family) Well let me show ya how it affects the whole community." This song was also unique because Pac just flowed continuously about Brenda way past the normal 16 bar verse. The chorus didn't come until the very end of the song. But if the intro wasn't enough to get you thinking by the time Pac hit you with this line later in the song I don't see how it didn't affect you. "He left her and she had the baby solo, she had it on the bathroom floor And didn't know so, she didn't know, what to throw away and what to keep She wrapped the baby up and threw him in the trash heep." And the video was even more vivid as we actually saw Brenda throwing her baby away. I'm sure once Pac saw the impact that songs like this had on people he began to throw at least one into each of his albums. (2 of which are on this list so keep reading). Unfortunately, there was no happy ending for Brenda as Pac concluded "Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby."

#6 Tha Cross Roads - Bone Thugs in Harmony

I remember when Bone's first album "Creepin On Ah Come Up" dropped it sparked a buzz for the anticipation of their second album "E. 1999 Eternal." I remember the original version of Cross Roads was just okay nothing major or to really keep your attention. But when Easy Mo B dropped this remix version to the song (which later became the video version) it blew Bone up to a level not even Eazy-E probably ever expected they'd reach. Bone had everyone singing/rapping the lyrics to the chorus "See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads So you won't be lonely, And I'm gonna miss everybody, I'm gonna miss everybody." Not to mention this was like the groups' dedication to Eazy-E their mentor and Label Owner, that had passed away from Aids just a few years prior. But I know for fact this was a song that had the hardest Thugs singing "I miss my uncle Charles."

(OK Half We're Way there ya'll...)

#5 I Miss You - DMX Feat. Faith Evans

The diary of DMX Which aired on MTV, I recall DMX going to perform this song and literally breaking down in tears on stage trying to get through the lyrics. At that point I had a much higher respect for this song and it's lyrics. In the song DMX is talking about his Grandmother which raised him. "Gran'ma, I really miss you and it ain't been the same I drop a tear when I hear ur name." I'm sure a lot of us can relate to being raised up by our grandmothers. So on this emotional tribute X even chooses to air out some of the family's dirty laundry. "But what I'm about to say a couple of family members gone hate me but I'm gonna let you know whut's been goin on lately you know since you left a lot of things bout your kids done changed." Along with assistance from Faith Evans on the chorus this is another that will definitely touch your heart.

#4 Dear Mama - 2pac

Now if this one hasn't gotten you at some point I'm speechless. Tupac Shakur Dear Mama had to have touched home with any and everybody and I'm sure still does. This came from Pac's 3rd album "Me Against the World." He was still keeping with putting a song with this theme on each of his albums so this was was no different. Pac essentially describes his relationship with his moms which wasn't always peaches and cream. But he's describing it in a way to where he's basically reconciling it through his lyrics. "I reminisce on the stress I caused, it was hell Huggin on my mama from a jail cell." Ironically during the time this song was release Pac was actually in jail serving a bid for an attempted rape charge. Not saying he was guilty or innocent because I don't know. But a song like this was perfect to drop and smooth over his image. I recall the video which he wasn't even able to be in but his moms was and she made the video come to life even more. If you recall the Hook used an interpolation of the "Sweet Sadie" by the Spinners which was already an emotional song itself back in the day. But with all these factors put together it made this song even more emotional. And with lyrics like "even as a crack fiend mama you always was a black queen mama," I'm sure we'll be hearing this song played for years to come and not just on Mother's Day.

Shout out to my moms while we're on the subject.

#3 All that I got is you - Ghostface Feat. Mary J. Blige

Ghostface was always a story teller. I would actually dare to put ghost up there with Slick Rick when it comes to story telling. When I first heard this song I was able to instantly invision the struggles he and his family went through growing up. And it had me thanking God my struggles weren't this bad. "Family aint family no more, we used to play ball after school eat grits cause we were poor grab the pliers for the channel fix the hanger on the tv rockin each others pants to school wasn't easy..." and "15 of us in a 3 bedroom apartment roaches everywhere cousins and aunts was there, for in the bed, 2 at the foot, 2 at the head, I didn't like to sleep with jon-jon he peed the bed," and "Mommy where's the toilet paper use the newspaper." Again Mary J lends her soulful vocals over the Jackson 5 sampled beat. And ghost leaves us with with a deep question to comptemplate "I ask myself was I meant to be here...why?"

#2 Keep Ya Head up - 2pac

As previously mentioned in writing about Brenda's Got a Baby (#7 on the list) and Dear Mama (#4 on the list), 2pac definitely knew songs that packed an emotional punch went over well with his fans. This song was 1 of 2 memorable songs on 2pac's "Strictly 4 My N.I.G.G.A.Z." album (I Get Around being the other). But Pac definitely made it known at the beginning of the song that who his target market was. "I give a shout out to my sistas on welfare 2pac cares if don't nobody else care." Pac goes on to state "you it makes me unhappy (what's that?) when brothers make babies and leave a young mother to be a pappy, And since we all came from a woman got our name from a woman and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women do we hate our women?" Ironically, Pac would later be sentenced to jail for attempted rape charges (As mentioned in song #4). The song used a familiar chorus from The Five Stair Step's "Oooh Child." This only added to the emotional effectiveness of the song. But with this song Pac was spoke the truth he even got political with lines like "You know it's funny when it rains it pours they got money for war but can't feed the poor Say there's no hope for the youth but the truth is it aint no hope for the future." On a side note the war he spoke of was the first coming of George Bush not the present day version. But I'm sure if Pac was still around he'd have much to say about George Bush #2 also. All in all Keep Ya Head Up remains an anthem of motivation that continues to uplift long after Pac has passed as I'm sure Pac originally intended.

Okay Finally we're Down to the #1 song the moment you've been waiting for
(Drum Roll Sounds...)

#1 Retrospect for Life - Common Feat. Lauren Hill

When I first heard this song I remember just thinking man this is a deep song. But it wasn't til I was older and actually had a child that the impact of such a song really hit me. More recently, I recall the possibility of someone close to me being pregnant. Of course with all the options including abortion being discussed this song and the lyrics immediately entered my head. "Knowing you're the best part of life do I have the right to take yours cause I created you irresponsibly subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of the start of something I'm not ready to bring into this world." Common takes on a subject never before mentioned in the history of rap music. He takes you through his mind state while wrestling with the decision. In verse one he's actually talking to the child that never came to be. "I look at your mother's stomach wondering if you're a boy or a girl, turnin this woman's womb into a tomb." He even breaks down to apologizing to the child stating, "instead I lead you to death, I'm sorry for taking your first breath first step and first cry." He then attempts to explain his actions but doesn't even attempt to make excuses by immediately taking full responsibility. "But I wasn't prepared mentally or financially having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me plus I wanted you to be raised within a family." In verse 2 common is speaking to the woman about the situation. "Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself you had our child in you I'll probably never feel what you felt but you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are through our trials and tribulations child's elimination." And in today's times of baby mamas being acceptable Comm begs to differ stating "we talkin spending the rest of our lives it's too many black women that can say they mothers but can't say that they wives. I wouldn't choose any other to mother my understanding but I want our parenthood to come from planning." The completion of the full emotion of the song was Lauren Hill singing the chorus. I remember reading that she and Comm had both recently had children when they collaborated on this song, making it even more fitting. Honestly, I was back and forth on if this song would be #1 or #2 even up until writing this. But after listening to the song again and reading the lyrics it's no doubt that Common has the #1 emotional rap song. Whether you've had a child before, had to face the difficult decision of abortion or just listen to the song overall you'll feel have to agree that this is a song that will definitely get directly to your emotions.

Well there you have it my Top 10 emotional Rap songs. Just as an observation it seems the formula for these type songs is this. Take a touching topic (i.e. moms, lost loved ones) write some deep lyrics and top it off with a chorus sung by an R&B singer = An Emotional hit. However, Only few have been able to pull it off and they definitely deserve credit for doing so. Lastly are a few honorable mentions are below.

Be A Father to Your Child - Ed OG and the Bulldogs

The Message - Dr. Dre Feat. Mary J. Blige

We Survive - Talib Kweli

C-Recks