Testimony Tuesday

Although this is being posted on a Wednesday this was technically done on a Tuesday. Welcome to another Testimony Tuesday. Last week's Testimony was a little off the hook. But we went ahead and broke it down the best we could. Lol. This week we received a couple of emails and then an anonymous comment to the blog. We'll be using that comment for today's "Testimony Tuesday." As always if you have a testimony that you want to share or are seeking advice or our opinions on you can always leave an anonymous comment on our blog or email callmecrecks@gmail.com. Without further ado here is this week's "Testimony Tuesday."

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Dear Brothers',

A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?
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C-Recks: Aight well I'll start by saying 3 words "game recognize game." Not that I've ever used this particular type of game, but if you've seen 1 you've seen em' all.

Driza Dre: right

CR: The comment doesn't specify, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that anonymous' friend is a female and the friend hitting her up for sex is a male. The reason being because this is only game that a nigga would use.

DD: That's what I was trying to figure out. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Well the first thing I thought was this... It ain't no way in hell this will be a one time thing

CR: Right

DD: So off the top you gotta let yo friend know what kinda situation she's getting herself into. Now she may care, she may not. But in my experiences, women may be comfortable with doing something like that once, maybe even twice. But most women absolutely will not be the woman on the side. And it sounds like that's the kinda situation she's headed for.

CR: Not only that, but according to the letter anonymous' friend is married and the guy trying to sleep with her knows her husband. We don't know if the guy is married as well we just know "it's a very very unhappy home." But I'm sure if they're close friends that she knows the guys significant other as well.

DD: Man, that just sounds like some all around "All My Children" stuff right there. My advice, anything that sounds like a Maury Povich episode, stay away!!! The lie detector determined, that was a lie.

CR: Lol. Yeah I totally agree man. I'd say think of this situation the way skinny brothers like myself think of Jail! Basically that's some shit you definitely wanna stay far far away from. LoL. Trust this guy is running or has run the same game before. And its probably like the wet tissue theory he throws it out there and sees if it sticks. Or if he gets to stick. Lol

DD: Of course. You can't knock the brotha for trying.

DD: And for the person who hit us with this question, honestly, you want to be very careful with the advice you give your friend. Cuz when this all blows up, you don't want to get hit by any of the flying emotional debris.

CR: And for her to even think of asking her friend (anonymous) for advice on what to do leads me to almost think its something deeper going on in her personal home life. Like maybe she's the one that's in a "very very unhappy home." The only reason I say that is because we all know that the average woman whose home life is all good usually wouldn't even think twice about declining this offer over and over until she got tired of it. And then when she did she would just end the friendship because he's obviously not respecting her marriage. So I think the friend may even be looking for some type of support or hoping someone (namely her friend anonymous) will give her the green light and tell her she should go ahead and do it so that she can have an excuse to go through with what she may be wanting to do anyways.

DD: aw yeah. When you know you're wrong, you're always hoping that some how some way, somebody will feel you, and green light your behavior. But that's when you really have to be a "good" friend and tell yo girl, don't go down this path. Good friend doesn't mean Yes man or Yes woman.

CR: Right cuz as a friend you know where this is headed we all do even Stevie Wonder can see that.

DD: On a quick side note, when Stevie passes, who's the new blind person that we can say saw something coming?

CR: Lol. Man Ray is gone too. So IDK good question though I'll think on it. Lol

DD: But back to the nature at hand. I would tell your friend to not go down that path. It ain't worth it. Even if you get one night of good sex, it may blow up, and cost you a lifetime of pain. You just never know. Not to mention the Karma aspect.

CR: Man exactly and as we all know "Karma Karma Karma come back to you harder!" I say anonymous' advice to their friend should definitely not support this type of behavior. If this guy is so "unhappy" at home he needs to get a divorce! Hell with Usher's new song "Papers" its giving people motivation to get divorced. So he needs to go home and put that song on repeat and call an attorney. The same goes for your friend if in fact she's unhappy and considering adultery as well.

CR: Idk how long she's known the guy, but the bottom line is that he's just being a nigga. And **in my Busta Rhymes voice ** "and that's just what niggaz do." Lol. I mean keep it real the nigga is just trying to hit. He's probably been eyeing that for as long as they've been friends and she's blocked or denied all his advances so this is his last ditch effort. And he's now hittin her with the guilt trip trying to weigh on her heart strings.

CR: I can hear the nigga crying now, "I'm so unhappy at home and for 1 night only you could at least make me happy." I'm not hating or knocking his game but nigga please! Or at least that's what I'd be saying if that was my friend. But you act accordingly. Good luck to you and to your friend.

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Well that's all we got if you have any advice to add for anonymous please leave it in the comments. And if you have a testimony you can leave it in the comments or send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com

--Driza Dre--

--C-Recks--

Testimony Tuesday

Its that time again. Yep it's Tuesday and we are back at you with an all new "Tuesday Testimony." If you need the background on how this new segment began then please check out the first "Tuesday Testimony" from last week. Well after opening up the floor for new testimonies we've had a subtle response thus far. This week we received 1 anonymous comment and also a couple of e-mails, which is more than we expected. Unfortunately, at this time we can only post 1 per week, so the others may be used for later posts. But by all means keep em' coming in.

Again you can send in your testimony by anonymously commenting to any of our posts or you can send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com. All emails and comments will remain anonymous. However, as always we will give our honest and possibly blunt opinion. Then we may mix it with a few jokes just because that's what we do. But regardless we'll give you the real deal. Then open it up to the readers and their opinions.

So with that said let's get into today's "Tuesday Testimony." To begin just keep in mind the subject of this letter is not PG-13. It's not XXX but it's probably somewhere between Nc-17 and X. LoL. Just a warning to those that may be a little more conservative feel free to exit now before the elevator doors close! LoL. But by all means don't take offense this is a grown up blog and we're having a grown up conversation. This week's Testimony was sent in via email:
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Brothers,

So about a month ago I caught my guy watching a porno movie. He wasn't doing anything except watching. Now it wasn't anything major because as a woman I know that all men watch porn. But it was a slight shock to see him doing it in front of me. Well he didn't stop watching as I came into the room and he actually asked if I wanted to watch with him.

Now I'm not going to pretend like I've never watched porn before in my life, but I will admit it's never been to the extent that a guy would watch. And I've never watched with a partner before. To be honest it really doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather do my own thing than watch someone else do it. But when he asked I did notice how turned on he was and thought it would be a "fun" experience for both of us.

Well long story short I agreed to watch with him. But as I sat next to him watching I found myself asking him a lot of questions, laughing at certain thiings I saw, and even talking about the actors in the film. After a while he grew tired of my antics and turned off the movie and left out the room. I was hoping we would doing a reenactment of the film ourselves but I could see he wasn't even aroused any more.

Since that episode I've walked in on him watching porn again a couple of times but now he just turns off the movie when I walk in. I don't care that he watches porn without me, but I would also like it to be something we can do together as well and then reap the benefits of it there after. Basically I want him to feel comfortable to invite me to watch with him again, but I don't know how to approach the subject.

What should I do?
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Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Man this letter here is pretty funny only because I'm sure every man in the world that has watched porn with a woman has experienced this.

Driza Dre: yeah, I would have to agree

CR: And I can just feel my man's pain

DD: See the thing that women don't realize is that porn is a whole different world for men, And for the men that are brave enough to try to bring their woman into that world, well its usually not a positive outcome.

CR: I think instead of the FBI warning at the beginning of the porn movies about bootlegging there should be some other basic rules. Lol

DD: right

CR: Something like The 10 Porn Comandments

DD: Can't tell me nothing bout this porn. My Mr. Marcus Niggaz. Lol

CR: Lmao you a damn fool. (If you have never heard Biggie's "10 Crack Commandments" then you may have missed that symbolism).

CR: But shit since u sparked it hit em wit that #10 rule and we can go back and forth.

DD: Well shit, I say # 10 is number one to me. As a woman, you can't take it personal. I mean, yo man watching porn doesn't mean that he's not into you or that he's into any of those crazy things. Its just different. That's all. So don't hold it against him. I mean, if you watching porn with him, I'm sure he won't be trippin over the guy's packages that you'll be looking at. So don't sweat him.

CR: Well I'll say #9 is STFU! Oh sorry let me be nice please hush during porn time. A man doesn't need u killin his porn high by talking and asking a million questions about what's going on or how she can make her ass can clap like a whole audience on a game show. Or how fake her orgasms are or how nasty this or that is. We know all that but its porn you get what you get.

DD: In the same vane as #9, #8 is, just because he's watching a porn with a white girl in it doesn't necessarily mean that he's in to white women. Again, its a fantasy world. Plus, white porn is just better than black porn. I mean, if you put in a black porn, you have to sit and listen to some niggaz demo tape before the F*CKING starts. Sorry, but that gets old

CR: Lmao! Yeah I can't mix porn and rap! As Kanye said "that's why we watch your porn in fast forward cuz we don't wanna hear that weak shit no mo!" Lol

DD: Exactly. Lol. Also to the porn emcee. The next one of you niggaz to get a deal will be the first one of you niggaz to get a deal. Give it up! Unless you count Lloyd Banks/Brian Pumper. LOL

CR: Lmao I knew the Lloyd Banks was coming. **In my best Lloyd Banks voice**"Nigga what you say!" Lmao

CR: Well #7 plays off of that I say that women can't see their guy's porn stash and see some freak nasty stuff and assume her guy is automatically into all of that shit. Again its fantasy if he likes to watch 5 chicks get it on, trust its pure fantasy because the nigga will neva get that lucky! Eva! Lol

CR: Unless he watches gay porn then that's a totally different ball game and he may be batting someone else's balls. Lol. Or if it's anything else that's just out of the ordinary then "Houston we Have a Problem."

DD: Well, I draw the line at clown porn. If yo dude is watching people with big feet and squeezable red noses having sex, you have a right to ask some questions. LOL

DD: Tell him DrizaDre said so! Cuz hell, I wanna know why?

CR: Lol yeah if its some way off the wall shit then I will say u have the right to think something is wrong and even question it. Cuz some stuff like midget porn, beasteality or sick stuff like that is just weird and disturbing. But then again if he's into some off the wall stuff like that then I'm sure his porn stash isn't the first you've heard of the weird shit he's into.

CR: I'm talkin bout "normal" porn.

DD: Well, here's a serious tip for #6. If you've had enough of the porn, feel free at any time to spark off a session with your man. I've never heard of a man saying "naw baby, we can't have sex til I finish this Booty Talk #147. I mean, I do have to return it to the video store." If the porn has been on for two minutes or more, he's probably ready to throw down. So reach out and touch, or whatever it is that you do to spark it. Its time.

CR: No doubt! Lol

CR: Well #5 has to be take mental notes. Trust if you see something in the porn feel free to see if you can make the same happen in the bed. Your man will be pleasantly surprised and give you plenty of props (or something better) for trying it out without him having to ask or beg you to try it.

DD: Unless its some gay shit, If so, refer back to rule #7

CR: Lmao exactly

DD: #4 may sound redundant..... And it is STFU! But let me add this little tid bit. That doesn't just go for the particular day or night you'r watching the porn, but in the days after as well. There ain't nothing worse than being blindsided with something like "So you don't expect me to do a threesome just because we watched the porn last night?" I mean, that's a crazy comment over the breakfast table!

CR: Man yeah you don't know whether to ask to pass the K-Y or the syrup. lol

DD: LMAO. Better get it right!

CR: Well #3 is this ALL guys watch porn! Period point blank. I would feel like I deserve a no snitching fine if this wasn't a known fact! So please don't act surprised, upset, pissed, confused or whatever else when you catch your man watching porn or happen to "stumble upon" his porn stash! It is what it is and refer back to rule #10 when u find it

DD: Do I have to reiterate rules four and nine? Ok, well rule #2 is enjoy yourself. Its just porn. You haven't committed a cardinal sin or anything. At least I don't think so. But you'll have to take that up with your particular God. I'm not saying that you always need porn to make the sparks fly, but its a definite enhancer. And who knows, maybe that might help him to come to you and ask "What can I do for you to make it special". Just a Thought

CR: Well #1 then just sums them all up to me and I've already stated it. But it's simply It is what it is. Its porn. Its not real its not and never will be a replacement for real sex. Its not anything beyond its title, its porn. Its a billion dollar industry and they all get paid off people's desire to want to watch. As long as you keep it mind that it is what it is it will avoid plenty conflicts that arise that are porn related.

CR: I think the 10 Porn Commandments pretty much answer her question and if she can apply those rules her porn experience with her man will get better results. That's all I got but hit em' with a closing argument if you have one .

DD: Nope, the 10 speak for themselves. Damn if this ain't some of my best work actually. But apply the rules ladies, and you be the judge.
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Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.


--Driza Dre--
--C-Recks--

Testimony Tuesday

So for those of you that have yet to listen to us on The Jaded Nyer's blog radio show from last week, you have to take a listen to it. It was a very good show and it invoked a very good discussion amongst men and women. Here is the link for the show "Mars Vs. Venus Part 2: We're In A Relationship...Now What?". However, there was a particular part of the show where we were all discussing our pet peeves. Everyone was describing what their partner does or did that irks/irked the hell out of you in a relationship.

Well a few days after the show aired an anonymous reader/listener left a comment on our blog post. They wanted to weigh in on the whole pet peeve situation and chose to reveal theirs to us and hopefully get our opinion on their comment. We rarely receive anonymous comments so this was sort of out of the blue to us. However, since the person chose to be anonymous we decided to go ahead and reply to her in a blog. So then that spawned a whole new blog segment we will be calling "Testimony Tuesday."

So, if you have an anonymous Testimony or confession on any subject and want our opinions or that of our readers, please feel free to post an anonymous comment on our blog. It doesn't even have to be about you, it can even be a situation that someone you know is in and perhaps you just need a different perspective. Whatever the case go ahead and leave a comment or even send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com and we'll make it a part of this new blog segment. All comments and emails will remain anonymous. Just keep in mind we may make light of the situation (because that's just what we do don't take offense), but in the end we'll try to give you some real, honest, and hopefully helpful advice.

So without further ado here is our first "Testimony Tuesday"...
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Dear brothers

I've been reading & following your blog anonymously 4 a while now & I've never left a comment until now. After checking out u guys on the blog talk radio show the other night I wanted to make a comment & hopefully get your honest opinions on something. First off it was a good show & much like your blog u kept it real. So keep up the good work but right now I'm hoping you'll keep it real wit me too.

On the show when u were talking about pet peeves and what annoys u about your man/woman on the show I wanted 2 call in then but couldnt because my man was with me. I've been with my man 4 bout 2 1/2 years & we've been living together 4 the last 6months. While all is extremely well with our living together situation there is 1 thing he does that drives me nuts!!!! Now 2 some it may be petty but 2 me its become major.

My man is a bigger guy & he likes 2eat but I have no problems at all with his size itis perfectly fine wit me. But what I do have a problem with is 1 place he likes 2 eat & that's in the bed! And I don't mean in a sexual way! He literally will eat full meals snacks & deserts in the bed. I tried 2 deal with it but it got 2 a point I had 2 say something. Well that conversation didnt go over 2 well & it turned into a huge argument. The bottom line is that even after saying something he still continues 2 do it!

I love this man & feel he's the one 4 me but this is an extremely frustrating & aggravating habit of his & I dont know what 2 do 2 get him 2 quit it.

Please give me your honest opinion & please keep it 100% real as I'm at my witts end with this situation.

Thanks in advance.

--Anonymous--
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Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Well its needless to say she loves her man like a fat kid loves cake, but it seems he's definitely trying to have his cake and eat it in bed too. Lol.

**After a 1 hour pause**

CR: You get my response man?


Driza Dre: Damn man, my bad, must've had a weed flashback

DD: So my man is leaving crumbs in the bed... Well I say be happy its only cookie crumbs. Lol

CR: Lol. Clearly there are much worse problems in relationships. And although "he eats in bed and u not talking sexually" he's obviously handling his biz in that regard or she would've put him on blast even more! But my first instinct is to move the bed into the kitchen or dining room 1 day while he's gone and move the dining room table to the bedroom! Lol

CR: Or better yet start rationing out the P. That'll always make a nigga straighten up. And by P I don't mean Pudding or Peach Cobbler unless those are some of your freaky little nicknames for the P. LoL. But for real every time he eats in bed put the P on lock. Or if you're bold put a cake in the bed next to you in some sexy lingerie. Then tell him like that T.I. song and say he can have whichever he likes. Just be prepared that him and Betty Crocker may be creeping on the low and he may not choose you. Lol

DD: While he and Betty might go back a lot further, ain't no real negro gone pass up the P for the sake of eating in the bed. While this issue may seem petty to him he's still gonna be smart enough to know that he can have his snacks elsewhere, and keep the bed for his ''goodies''

CR: Aight well in all seriousness I would say she definitely needs to talk to him about it again. I'm not sure in what manner she may have approached him the first time, but if he blew up over it then it somehow must've struck a nerve. Maybe he thought she was talking about or complaining of his weight. But clearly that's not an issue, as she expressed in her comment. So maybe she needs to reassure him of that and just let him know she just prefers to keep the bed free of food.

DD: Or at minimum, just stress that she'd at least like him to clean up after himself. I figure that though he still might not appreciate her coming at him, he may oblige her by trying to be neater

CR: I'm just thinking there's gotta be a compromise here. But if not, it may be risky but put some bugs in the bed. If he sees that maybe he'll know eating in the bed is off limits. No one wants to eat with bugs nor sleep with them.

DD: That's REAL extreme. If you gotta go that far, it may be time to get rid of him

CR: Yeah its extreme but she obviously loves the man but he may just be a little extra persuasion. That is if talking to him and compromising doesn't work. But I can't see him being absolutely unreceptive if she approaches him in a kind and truly concerned manner. Unless there is really a deeper issue that is not on the surface.

DD: So you look at it like Bernie Mac: "they gotta learn, they gotta learn!"

CR: Lol. Well if this was who wants to be a millionaire my final answer would be this: Try talking to him again and see why he got upset the last time the subject came up. Maybe its something deeper and he maybe felt you were attacking his weight. And from there just reassure him by letting him know the only issue is the eating in the bed not his weight. If that doesn't work then maybe extreme is the answer. If nothing else extreme will get his attention at how serious the issue is to you. If you 2 have been together as long as you have and love each other as much as you say then I have no doubts that you will get past this. I predict he will compromise and the only eating in the bed won't leave any crumbs behind, at least we hope. Lol

DD: As my brother discussed on the radio show, you have to pick your battles. Assess if the crumbs in bed is really that major. If it is, then you may need to take drastic measures to bring him around to your way of thinking. If its not that major, then approach the subject in a manner that's more of a suggestion than a Relationship death nail. And just maybe in the end, you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too. Lol
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Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any tips or helpful advice to Anonymous please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post.

--DrizaDre--

--C-Recks--

Beat It!!

Considering we're all adults, I'm not sure why, but whenever a topic dealing with sex is brought up on this blog the comments are slim to none. But that's neither here nor there, I guess it just is what it is. With that said this is not going to be a long post about this subject. So don't worry. However, someone sent me this link to this article. The link is below, but I've actually copied the article for all to read it's short and sweet and I have one comment to make after you read it.

Article

March 11, 2009

Police: Son pleasures himself, then punches mom

DADE CITY -- It all started about 7 p.m. Tuesday, authorities said, when a mother looked outside and saw her 19-year-old son masturbating in the back yard.
The mother yelled. The son, Antwan L. Grandberry, 19, walked around to the front of the house on 13th Street in Dade City and rang the doorbell, according to a Dade City Police report. The mother answered and began cursing and yelling at Grandberry, who then punched his mother in her face, the report said.

Grandberry, who is listed as unemployed, was arrested on a domestic battery charge and is being held in the Land O'Lakes jail in lieu of $500 bail.

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Okay here's my final word and you can quote me on this...

"As if beating off wasn't enough you mean to tell me he had to beat up his momma too?"

SMDH!!

Not sure what's going on with people these days, but they said he was unemployed so maybe the economy to blame. Hell sounds like a plausible defense they blame it on everything else.

Well that's it for now.

--C-Recks--

Repost: Best of Both Worlds

Since today is SuperBowl Sunday I thought this old post from September would perfect to repost today.

There's a new White commercial that has been recently airing. I wasn't able to find the video online so you'll have to settle for my description. If you need to view a previous version of the "when the crave calls" commercial click the link. They're all virtually the same basis just with different scenarios. The basic premise behind this particular commercial is this. A guy and a girl are on the couch and look to have just been "fooling around" and the girl says "I'll be right back and don't you go any where." Basically she's letting him know that she's going to go slip into something a little more "comfortable". Well as she walks away the guy's cell phone rings. Well the caller on the other end is not really a person but the crave calling him to come eat White Castles (cue the music). The man tries to reason and explain that it's not a good time right now. The music plays again indicating that the crave is very insistent on him coming right now! Unable to resist the crave, and in true fictional fashion the guy chooses to answer the crave and runs out of the door. Just as he exits a scantily clad female walks out wondering where he went.

Now yes the commercial did bring about a bit of a laugh. But one of the times I saw this commercial I was on the phone with my brother and we were both watching the same Chicago Bears game. Well of course he agreed just as probably any guy that watched this commercial would and said there's no way that they would choose hunger over even the slightest possibility that sex is going down. Especially in the case of the commercial where this man was 99.9% golden pending he wasn't one of those unfortunate men that require a little blue pill and forgot to take it. LoL. Being of the male species I can and will keep it real with you. Let's say a man just got released from being held hostage for months I'm talking having been starved and tortured John McCain style (We've all heard the story by now). However, upon his release if you immediately put on a table a sandwich (with the works ham, turkey, salami, cheese, bacon, etc.) and next to that sandwich a naked woman I'm willing to bet all I have that 90% of the time the man will take the naked woman. Now perhaps midway through handling his business he may take a quick bite of the sandwich to keep his energy up, but the initial reaction is all the evidence I need to win the bet. LoL!

Well I thought that my theory was bullet proof like 50 Cent, that was until someone posed this question to me the other day. I will attempt to phrase the question just as it was stated to me.

"Let's say it's Super Bowl Sunday and you're having a Super Bowl Party. So you've got good food, lots of beer, the big plasma TV, some good friends and family and the most comfortable seat in house all ready for the Big Game. What if right before the opening kick off your wife or girlfriend calls you to the room. You run to the room as to not miss any of the game and upon entering the room she greets you naked and wants you to have sex right then and there. What do you do?"

Now unlike my previous example with the food vs sex, for some reason I was just a bit puzzled as to what my answer would be. My very first thought is what kind of nymphomaniac freak have I married or gotten involved with that would even put me in the position to make this choice? LoL. I mean does she not know that I have watched game after game week after week (16+ in total) in order to see this one game? Does she not know I've watched my favorite team lose heart breaking games and even perhaps miss the playoffs this year? If she's my wife or girlfriend then she has to know all of this. So why oh why would she do this to me?

Alright I know this is by far not the worst position to be put in world but still it's a decision that I would prefer not to have to make. I can see the angel and the devil on my shoulder trying to get me to choose sides. Except in this case I don't know which is the good side and which is the bad side. But on one side there's a man with a football referee uniform on and the other is a woman with an angel robe on and a cheerleader outfit under it. Now both have valid arguments as to why I should choose one over the other.

Ref: Why are we even having this debate we've done the coin toss time for the kick off get out there on the field game on!! (Blows whistle).

Angel: It's sex!!

Ref: That's all you have to say to plead your case? It's sex? Would you tell her to put some clothes on and come back out here so you don't miss any of the game.

Angel: It's SEX!!

Ref: Is this really your argument? So you think that just because it's sex he's supposed to miss the biggest game of the year? You bought that 55inch Plasma screen just for this game!

Angel: Let's Talk about sex baby... (Singing the words to Salt and Peppa's song).

Ref: See this is B.S. it's Super Bowl Sunday. You have cold beer, snacks, and the best damn sporting event waiting on you what's to think about?

Angel: S.E.X. take a deep breath and think before you let it goooo!!... (Singing the words to Lyfe Jennings' song).

Ref: (Blow Whistle and throws flag!!) Personal Foul unnecessary singing!!

Angel: Listen this is all I have to say. No, it's not sex again. But there's a beautiful naked woman here ready and willing. Now you mean to tell me you'd rather watch a man take a snap from behind another man when you could be taking your own snap with her as your center?

Ref: Man she's your girl she's not going no where why does it have to be now? How about you sacrifice the half time show. (Whispers: Don't worry Janet Jackson isn't performing this year) You can come and finish this then.

Angel: Oh trust it'll be too late by then and you'll probably be sacrificing about a months worth of sex and your bed. So I hope that Lazy Boy is extra comfy.

Ref: (Blows Whistle) Injury timeout on the field. Get my man an ice pack for his future blue balls!! Because we're still going back to watch the game right?

Angel: Okay here's the last chance and the last option for you. Tivo or DVR. You do your thing here and when you get done go back and rewind the game and watch from the beginning. You'll both be happy, she gets what she wants (sex) and you still get what you want (the game). You can skip the commercials and the half time show and come back and watch them later and by the end of half time you'll be back watching the game live. So what do you say?

Ref: I think I saw a challenge flag thrown.

Me: Well she does have some valid points I think I'll take her last option.

Ref: After further review of the play the ruling on the field stands: This is some bullshit!!

Angel: No man can resist you were fighting a losing battle.

(Both poof and disappear)

Well in actually the thought process of that decision took a matter of a few seconds but believe it or not all of those things went through my head before I gave my answer to the question. The DVR option was in fact my final answer by the way. Thank God for technology. LoL. But on the real I just can't imagine being put in a situation such as that. I mean I love Football and sports but does it outweigh a man's desire to want to have sex?

Before I go just just a quick word of advice to the ladies. Please don't do any nonsense such as this to your men. Now if it's preseason, even regular season then let's make it happen, I'll even miss the whole game. And although it's a stretch, I may even make an exception for the playoffs. But on Super Bowl Sunday this is just torture. Although most will choose the sex option there will be plenty of resentment behind it. And no offense he's not doing it because he wants you oh so bad at that moment. It's because he doesn't want to face the possible consequences of choosing football over you. So a simple solution to this is to go ahead and watch the game with him. You may not know what the hell is going on but just sit quietly and ask very few questions during the game. When he cheers just cheer right along with him. Keep a cold beer near and a few snacks within arms reach. And if he's happy with the outcome of the game celebrate with him and if he's sad or upset just don't bring it up at all. If you can do this one thing then trust and believe your man will do anything you want the day after the game. His honeydew list will be completed and he'll be rubbing your feet and feeding you grapes. Well maybe that's a stretch but he will appreciate this gesture and you will be rewarded generously for it.

P.S. To the guys. You know how they say most guys break up with their girlfriends before Christmas and stay single until after Valentines Day? Well the Super Bowl is usually before Valentines Day. Hint Hint. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Time Waits For No Man

"Ooh Girl!" - An Honest R&B Song



I came across this video on Myspace last week and I found it to be hilarious. These guys are brutally honest when it comes to their bedroom performance. Far from what most R&B songs try to fool women into thinking. But they addressed a subject I already had in draft but never completed and posted. So, I am now incorporating the 2 together. One of the main subjects the video address was the sexual performance time. My man broke it down to the exact number of minutes, you will get out of him. He wasn't fronting and telling you he was gone go at it all night like you hear in most R&B songs (Don't the Viagra commercials say an erection lasting more than 4 hours should seek immediate medical attention? LoL). For instance, songs like Freak Me (Silk), Freakin' You (Jodeci), Makin' Good Love (Avant), All Nite All Day (Ginuwine), Bump & Grind Remix (R.Kelly), Bed (J.Holiday). Etc. This list can go on for days. But you best believe I know what to put on when its sexy time! Lmao.

Now a good while ago there was a rare occasion where I was watching the morning news. Actually I wasn't even watching, but it happen to be on as I was getting ready for work. Well the topic of sex came up and my ears perked up like a dog hearing kibbles and bits. So I of course began to watch more closely. The show had a sex therapist on and she was discussing a new study done that reveals the actual length of time the "average" woman prefers sex to be. Utterly intrigued by this point I stopped ironing my clothes and was glued in front of the TV.

Well much to my shock this so called expert goes on to tell me and the world that was up at 8am that a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine stated this nonsense. "Sex lasting less than 3 minutes is considered as too short, while more than 13 minutes of sex are regarded to as too long. 7 to 13 minutes were rated as most “desirable” length of time of sex. Many sex therapists consider coitus that lasts as little as 3 minutes to be of adequate length."

Now my first reaction upon hearing this was to literally LOL. Followed by a swift "Bullshit!!" And lastly topped off with a "Get the F**K Outta here!!" Then I pondered to myself "I hope for the sake of men that that time length included some 4-Play, [no make that 12-Play] or else this study is about to sky rocket the divorce rate higher and faster gas prices 6 months ago."

I later went online to gather more information about this so called study. Well you can read it for yourself here. Basically this study surveyed a number of random men and women in Canada and the U.S. and based on those responses and their expert opinions they have come up with this conclusion which they chose to publish in this medical journal.

Alright now it's my turn. I'm definitely no sexpert nor do I have a doctorates in medicine or any certificates in sex therapy. Therefore, I am only speaking from my own personal perspective and experience. So with that said I feel like there is no damn way that a woman is going to be satisfied with a man giving her 3 minutes of sex! And if this is true I'm sure most men like me are asking themselves where are these alien women that they speak of? Or has Captain Kirk already got to them all? LoL.

Maybe it's just me, but even the 7-13 minutes that they claim is desirable just seems to be off about a good 20-30 minutes or more. Now I've seen it done in as little as 3 minutes [As Nas Said "I'm Hercules Hercules when it comes to Relations." LOL ;-)] and definitely in the 7-13 minute range. But "IF" (and that's a big "if" for some...sorry to say) in that 7-13 minutes the man manages to satisfy his woman and bring her to orgasm, in my experience that doesn't mean your job is done. Although I've been told and have heard women say "As long as I get mines it doesn't matter how long it lasts." I'm not too sure most women would say alright I got my one now it's done. Sadly, that's usually the man saying such a thing, whether verbally or non-verbally. Cue the Snoring (Zzzzzzz). I personally can't get down like that. But then again, perhaps I'm just a tad greedy and a bit of an over achiever. LMAO. But we have to remember the fact that women are multi-orgasmic. So to a man this translates to good job in the first 7-13 minutes now do it a couple more times just for good measure. LoL. And if you do happen to finish also, you better catch your breath and get back out in the ring for round 2. In the words of the Great Muhammad Ali "Rumble Young Man Rumble." LoL.

I wouldn't personally know about this, but I gotta ask. What if you're one of those unfortunate brothers that can't last long enough to get the job done? LoL SMH! Would the ladies prefer he go the honest route like the guys in the video and put it out there up front? Or for him to just keep quiet and see what it does or don't do? Or to just Lie? LoL. I'm sitting here just envisioning this scenario. The moment is getting heated up and "It's about to go Down." All of a sudden the man stops then turns to the lady and says "Hey just so you know this ain't gone last but about 7-13 Minutes. But don't worry in that time I'm gone give it all I got." I'm a gambling man so I'm willing to bet all I got that most any woman's clothes will magically come back on Cris Angel style. Then someone is leaving right away, either her or you depending on whose place you're at. I know the ladies have a thing about wasting a number on a guy that don't "come with it" so to speak. And if you don't know what I mean by wasting a number then ask the female that's closest to you right now I'm sure she'll school you real quick. LoL

But regardless of which the ladies prefer there is one thing that remains a big No! No! Yep you guessed it that would be Bragging! I don't know if you can blame the R&B Songs that brag about putting it on you all night long, screaming my name, and putting you to bed and tucking you in or what? Yes these things can and do happen. However, for the life of me I don't know why guys brag when it comes to their bedroom tactics. I mean if it's your woman or someone you've already did the damn thing with and they can vouch for you then by all means get your brag on. But if you're trying to get a woman to sleep with you for the first time, don't brag (trust she's heard it all before). Especially if you know that your results in the past have been less than stellar, then why even say anything? If she asks play it off! "Aw well you know I do what I do!" LoL. But don't set yourself up to be embarrassed and eventually put on blast. I've read too many blogs of women (even some of our followers.lol) blasting a brother out for not coming with it in the bedroom. But I'm sure if he didn't brag about what he was gone do prior to, then she may have over looked the infraction and spared him the embarrassment. Yet you chose the wrong door like that one on Let's Make A Deal with the Donkey behind it. So, now everyone at the job, school, church (or where ever you met her) and the entire blog community knows about your "short comings." LoL.

Honestly, I prefer the quiet and reserved approach and not to even mention it at all. Now if you ask I'll be honest and let you know how my past performance has been graded and that I have not gotten any complaints. However, I won't guarantee anything on a first time being sexual with someone. I know for a fact that all women are different; therefore, just because I did XXX Y and Z with a previous girl and blew her back out, doesn't mean that's going to automatically translate to the new girl. This is no different than if you were to change jobs. You may have been a top performer at your previous job, but this is a new company and possibly new and more challenging "position." So, basically you can't guarantee any results. LoL.

When it boils down to it I personally feel like the pressure is mainly on men to perform. Unfortunately, the man is supposed to feel privileged to even have an opportunity to have a go at it. Therefore, he better make the best of the chance he's being given. Now, maybe for some the pressure is too much and they can't step up and make it happen. Although no man wants to be considered a Minute Man , especially since they make songs about them (50 grand I get this on one take. LoL). But I guess just like anything in life there are somethings some are better at. And consequently that means that someone must also be bad at it as well. However, I can only speak for self. So before y'all start questioning me I must say that I've never fallen into this 7-13 minute range category. I can get material witnesses to testify if I have to. LoL. In fact, if I could quickly I'd tell this story about the Robin Thicke CD... But sadly I've run out of time and can't, so you have to use your imagination as to what I'm referring to. LoL. Any one that can guess it I got a prize for you. LMAO.

--C-Recks--

Politics As Usual !!!

So I was in the San Francisco Bay area this past October. I happened to be with a "friend" of mine, and we swung by her mother's house for a quick visit. Inevitably while I was there, the conversation turned to politics. Her mother knows that I am well versed when it comes to talking politics, and she asked my opinion of the, then, upcoming election. As I stated in the past, I voted for President Bush in the 2004 election, and her mother asked me, quite sarcastically I might add, "so are you voting for John McCain this time"? This question lead us to talk about a book that I was reading at the time called "The case against Barack Obama". She had heard of the book, and asked what was the gist of the argument against him. At that point, I had only made it through the first few chapters, so I explained to her that they were questioning some of his associations with local Chicago politicians. I said "I've heard of many of the people that they linked him with, and I must admit that I too have a problem with those associations. Chicago politics is a very dirty game, and I wonder just how down and dirty Obama got". It is with the backdrop of that conversation that I officially start this blog.

When you heard that O.J. Simpson had gotten himself in trouble again back in 2007, I'm sure that many of you asked yourselves a similar question to mine: Who could be so stupid? Well, on Tuesday, I got my answer. His name is Rod Blagojevich, the Governor of Illinois. (Or as I will call him from here on in this blog, Inmate number 11042008). On Tuesday, Inmate number 11042008 and his chief of staff John Harris were arrested on charges of wire and mail fraud, and solicitation of bribes. The charges themselves were not terribly surprising. What was surprising was that he was arrested for trying to sell the soon to be vacated Senate seat of Barack Obama. So I said to myself "they've had this fool under investigation for a while. Why would he be so stupid as to try and get bribes while the Feds were listening? I mean, he had to know that he wouldn't get away with it".

The Governor's actions were appalling and took a set of balls that would weigh down Paul Bunyan. But as usual, Inmate 11042008 has denied all charges. And with that denial, comes the inevitable refusal on his part to resign from his post. That to me is the biggest crime of all. I'm tired of government officials screwing up, and then refusing to, metaphorically, "fall on their sword".

The city of Detroit dealt with a huge scandal involving their then mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. The video below is a synopsis of the charges lobbed against Kilpatrick.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLQ02-pbRB0

I'd been hearing about the mayor and his troubles for a while. And I will be completely honest, I gave the brotha the benefit of the doubt. But as more and more information came to light, it became readily apparent that my man really needed to step down. Unfortunately, like many politicians in similar positions, he allowed his ego to get in the way, and he remained in office for far too long. Eventually Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to the charges, and was sentenced to 120 days in jail. However, according to wikipedia, there were a laundry list of charges lobbed against Kilpatrick. Personally, I believe this brotha got off incredibly lucky.

Then there was Larry Craig. He was the Idaho senator who was busted in the Minneapolis Airport soliciting sex from an undercover (male) police officer in June of 2007. He originally pleaded guilty to a charge of disorderly conduct. But when the charges came to light, Craig tried to withdraw his guilty plea, something he is still contesting to this day. He also has denied being gay, however there have been many people who have come forward and refuted that claim. As usual, there were calls for Craig to step down as Senator. He initially refused to step down, but relented on September 1, 2007. Separate from the whole gay issue, which is none of my business, Craig was wrong for getting caught soliciting sex. He should have immediately given up his Senate seat.

My belief is that we as Americans made a huge mistake back in 1998-99. See, when the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal came to light, too many of us, me included, rallied to Bill Clinton's defense. What my man did was wrong. Yes cheating on his wife, but even worse than that, lying under oath. I liked Bill. Unofficially, he was the first black President. But my man had a greater responsibility to the American people. When it came to light that he had been fooling around in the White House, he should have resigned from office, and preserved the dignity of the office of the Presidency. By him fighting the charges, narrowly avoiding impeachment, and then finishing his term as President, he has given rise to other politicians across the country. Now they feel as though "Well, I'm not the President. And if he can get away with what he did, what I did is no big deal." Well what they do is a big deal! We elect these people to represent us, not themselves. I don't know about you, but I'd NEVER cheat on my wife. I'd NEVER solicit sex from a male police officer. And I'd NEVER try and sell a Senate seat! So why should I be represented by anyone who would?

In closing, I'd just like to say this about Inmate 11042008. I know that Chicago politics has always been a crooked game. Pay for play has been going on as long as the Championship drought for my beloved Cubs. But given the fact that you took over for a previously disgraced Governor, George Ryan, wouldn't it have been wise for you to try and restore some of the public trust? But I guess you just couldn't escape what "Chicago Way."

-DrizaDre-

It's A One-derful Life

Chorus:

"I been looking for the One but she's so hard to find, so I guess I gotta grind, until the stars align, Don't mind, waiting if it's gone take some time, but I wish someone would just show me a sign..."

Verse 1:

"I searched the ends of the earth and still haven't found, someone to hold me down, and wear my crown, I need a queen is that too much to ask? Someone with class, that's gone erase my past? Cuz I done been through (been through) heartache and pain, and I'm getting too old to be trying to play games, and I done changed (changed), my ways a lot, but my heart kinda empty there's a vacant spot, I'm just looking for the one to fill, and come for real, if I'm broke with bills, or holding a mil, still, she gone be there, it's only fair, and I won't even lie it's getting lonely here, I need love like L, sometimes it might fail, and you gone get used like drugs that hypes sell, it's like hell, so I gotta see heaven quick, the rest irrelevant, I want someone that's heaven sent. I want the one..."

C-Recks - "The One"

The above song lyrics come from a song I wrote and produced entitled "The One" which appears on my upcoming album Ripped from the Headlines (Shameless plug I know). Well I have had this conversation with people in the past. But I still question, is there really a such thing as The One? I mean is there really that one soul mate that God created for each and every one of us somewhere out there in the world? Are they searching just like you and waiting for that opportunity for your paths to cross?

These are questions I often ask myself. If you've read anything on this blog that I've written in the past then you know that I often reference the fact I used to be married. Marrying and then divorcing will often cause one to lose their faith in the love and marriage area. So I often question the existence of "The One." Although I'm very content with my current situation, it doesn't mean that I don't have the same human characteristics as anyone else. You know what I mean. The wanting to be loved, and wanting to give your unconditional love to another.

Now I say that; however, I'm not the type that will just settle for any old relationship. Nor am I the type that yearns to be loved so much that I will accept the first or next person the comes along trying to give me their love. Truth be told if I just wanted any old relationship I could have had that by now. But maybe I'm too specific in what I want. Some may call it high standards I just say I'm waiting on "The One."

I mean there's someone for everyone right? At least that's what the advertisements for the Internet dating sites want us to believe. LoL. I recently saw an on-line article stating that world's heaviest man (700 lbs) just got married. Now I'm in no way trying to talk about him or hate on him. But if this man can find someone to love all 700 pounds of him, then there's got to be someone for my buck and some change frame. LoL. If nothing else, I think this guy getting married illustrates one of the greatest things about real love. It shows the fact that it's truly unconditional. When I love again I want someone that will accept me as I am. Flaws and all. Not someone that says "well I really like this about you, but you can stand to change this or that." As the saying goes if you can't accept me at my worst you don't deserve my best." Well who knows when that time will come when my One comes along. But I found some words I wanted to express to her now. Please continue to read on while Ruben Studdard helps co-sign on the previous point.

Ruben Studdard - "Change me"

Dear "The One, "

Where ever you are and who ever you are there are some things I want to say to you in advance. I have so much love to give to you that it's not even funny. And believe me when the time comes I will love you unconditionally as you are. I won't try to change the person that you are. All I ask is that you do me the same. Below I've listed some of the things that make me, well me. They are in no particular order of course.

1. Please accept the fact that I am slim in stature and no matter how much I eat I have never and probably will never be able to gain any significant weight. I've always been this way. Call it high metabolism, good genes, or whatever you want. But please feel free to cook all you want to try and fatten me up as I love to eat.

2. Accept that I drink. Nothing excessive of course. But I mainly drink beer. After a long hard day of work there is nothing better to come home to than you, a great meal and a nice cold beer (or 2 or 4). LoL. But I promise I would never let beer or alcohol affect me or us in any way. Hell I don't even have a beer belly (review #1).

3. I have a son and he is truly my world. We are a package deal. Therefore, if you accept me then you must in turn accept him. He is a lot like me so you should have no problem getting along with and eventually loving him too. But I warn you he gets attached to people fast. So if you don't get to meet him right away just know that's the parental instinct in me. Also, he's a little flirt too, so don't be surprised if he has a bigger crush on you than me. And don't worry me and his mom have absolutely no drama going on. So rest assured that you'll never be put in a drama type situation when it comes to my son.

4. I have a passion for music. I have been into music since a young boy. I really got deep into it when I started to write and perform. I would love to eventually turn my passion into a career. But at the same time I'm rational and know that the odds of that happening are slim to none. So, I still work my regular 9-5. However, being that this is my passion I will always be doing it regardless of whether a career ever begins. So accept that some nights I may be in the studio doing what you may even consider nothing or even a waste of time. But please don't ever say that. I'm just doing what I love. Don't worry I promise that I will never let it take away from the time we spend together. Besides I'm a little talented I even wrote and produced the song above [The One] about you before I even met you.

5. I tend to be like most men and hide and don't show my emotions too much. Well just know that the only reason for that is because I was probably the opposite a long time ago and was criticized by the person I was with for it. So now I'm this way. I know it may seem as if certain things don't move me emotionally, but know that is probably not the case. I have a heart and once I've allowed you in it I can't control certain emotions and feelings. Therefore, if you hurt I hurt, if you cry I cry even if it's not seen outwardly.

6. I am a man of few words the majority of the time. I know I write these blogs and can say and express so much. But on average I don't say too much. You may tell me about your day and have a million and one things to say about what took place. However, if you ask me how my day was, 9 times out of 10 I'm going to respond in one of a few different ways. "It was OK, aight, cool, or deeso." This doesn't mean that I don't want to let you know how my day was or that I'm hiding something. However, if it's not interesting to me I usually won't speak on it. My daily mundane activities at work don't thrill me and I wouldn't expect them to thrill you or anyone else. Every now and then I have something happen that's interesting, but those days are few and far between. However, I will listen intently to every detail of your day and respond accordingly.

7. I'm hard to read. You may never be able to tell what it is that I'm thinking at a particular time. However, please don't try to speculate or assume. If you want to know all you have to do is ask and I will share. Not much upsets me or gets to me, but I can't stand assumptions especially incorrect ones. I hate arguments and fights and avoid them at all costs, even if I have to apologize knowing I did nothing wrong. Most times I probably have something similar to the patience of Job. But making an incorrect assumption will for sure upset me, possibly prompt an argument and test my patience for sure.

8. I'm not ballin and I may never be. If this music thing never makes it to the majors or mainstream, I may be stuck working a typical 9-5 until retirement. I will always work my ass off for the man just to keep what we have stable and try to get more. I may not make 6 figures; however, I will always be striving to make more to provide for us. Even if that takes me going back to school (which I plan to do hopefully next year), starting my own business, or even working 2 and 3 jobs.

9. I know that after we make hot passionate love for an hour or more that you want me to cuddle with and hold you. However, that's rarely going to happen. I may start off that way but most likely I'll end up on my side with about a foot of space between you and I. Please don't think that I don't like holding you or that the sex we just had wasn't worthy of you being held afterward. Neither is the case. I just have a particular way of sleeping. I get hot in my sleep and my instinct is to move away from the heat source. I may move from you, then remove my blankets all in the middle of my sleep. But then I'll probably get cold, so don't be surprised if you find me snuggled up next to you again at some point in the middle of the night. Just know it still won't last long. LoL.

10. I like to dress a certain way. My clothes do not make me who I am. I am who I am regardless of how I dress. I'm not saying that I walk around in bummy clothes or anything. It's quite the opposite. However, my love of hip hop and music pretty much dictates my wardrobe. I know that I am close to 30 and some may say "you should dress your age." But I say I'm doing me. So if that means wearing a hoodie, a fitted hat, and some Air Force Ones, then that's how you'll find me most of the time. It doesn't mean that I'm a thug or hood, because I'm far from it. It's just how I dress. Now that doesn't mean that I don't know how to switch it up given the occasion. I have plenty of casual clothing that I can wear when I take you out on a date. Also, I have suits I can wear when we're going to so and so's wedding, graduation, etc. But please accept this and don't try to force me to wear what you want me to wear.

P.S. There are plenty more things about me, but I will end it with these 10. Just keep in mind that curse (kind of a lot), I look young (not at all like I'm about to be 30 soon), I may or may not want any more kids (I'm on the fence about this one), my credit is bad (divorce hurts more than your heart), I don't attend church (at this time at least), I'm not that handy, Etc.

If you can accept these things about me and not try to change me, then you will have a man that will love and do almost any and everything to make you happy. A man that will love, honor, respect, and cherish your very being. Because just by accepting me for me you will be making me happy. So I would want to return that type of love to you at almost any cost. And we will truly have a wonderful life.

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Cory.

Now that I look at it all written out like that I guess those are a lot of things to accept. Perhaps that's why there can only be 1, One. Many are called but One is chosen as they say. Depending on the response to this I may post the second verse of the song which goes into a little more depth and reply to it as I did here. We'll see.

--C-Recks--

To Know or Not To Know

"I don't wanna know If you're playin' me, keep it on the low Cause my heart can't take it anymore. And if your creepin, please don't let it show Oh baby, I don't wanna know. " - Mario Winans.

When this song came out in 2004 I didn't know at the time but I was in a similar situation as Mario Winans was speaking of. Yep I was being cheated on. Well I just now heard the song on the radio and started to think. If I could go back to that situation with my ex would I really want to know? Meaning if I could have found out in advance from her as opposed to the way I found out would I rather have known? Or if say a friend would have seen her would I really want them to tell me? Well regardless of what transpired previously my immediate reaction to this question is still hell yes dammit tell me!! Whether it be from her directly of someone else by all means let me know. Not sure what each of your responses are but my response to the question based on a number of reasons as you'll read below.



Respect my health. First off the obvious reason has to do with my own personal health. If you're out there creeping and still coming home doing the thing with me too I should have the right to know. If we're in a committed relationship then most likely we're not using any type of protection. Now I would hope as you creep out doing your dirt that you would use some type of protection to keep yourself clean. However, regardless if you are or not at least give me the opportunity to make the decision of if I want to risk still sleeping with you.




Help me to avoid the confrontation. Tell me now so that there won't be any surprises. Whatever I choose to do with the information well that's just a consequence of telling. But at least telling me in advance lessens the chances of the consequences being violent. Although, it may not make me any less angry at what you did at least hearing it from you as opposed to catching you or hearing it from a 3rd party will ''hopefully'' keep me from reacting on that anger.

True story: When my ex and I were going through whatever some years back I recall going out to pay some bills. We had 2 cars and our son was in the car with me. So as I make a turn I see a car that looks like hers drive past in the opposite lane of traffic and stop at the light. I thought naw it couldn't be there's a guy driving. But my instinct tells me to just make sure. So I make a U-Turn and pull up on the right side of the car. As I'm pulling up I immediately noticed from the plate number that it's definitely her car. As I pull up next to the car I look over and it's none other than my (then) wife. And some negro driving the car I just made a payment on. Now everything in me wanted to crash into the car and then get out and grab the tire iron out the trunk and start smashing the s**t out of her car. Then probably take the same punishment out on the 2 of them. Honestly, I'm really not violent at all but hey I am human. But again those were just my natural instincts and luckily they didn't kick in. I had to remember I had my son who was not even a year old in the back seat. So instead I pulled up next to the car slowly and as she looked to the right saw my face. The look on her face was priceless. Now I have heard the saying "if looks could kill." Well let's just say that if they could that day her ass would have instantly died in that passenger seat. Thank God I didn't do anything crazy, I turned at the light and let them go on there way. But the point of the story is don't put me in the position to have to claim temporary insanity before a judge because I happen to catch you up.



Don't turn me into Sherlock Homeboy. Why make me go through the motions of suspecting you are cheating and trying to find evidence of this. Next thing you know you got me searching through your phone, e-mails, listening on your calls, checking up on whether or not you are where you say you are, etc. Got me out here like that Mya Song "Ridin'." You know the lyrics "I'm ridin', I'm ridin' past your momma's house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin' past your boys house. You got me ridin', I'm ridin', I'm ridin' tryin to find you..." Yeah that's a horrible place to be right there. But then when I don't initially find anything I look like the crazy jealous spouse. You even make me feel bad for suspecting you of cheating and call me insecure.

Don't make me look like a fool. If you know you're out there doing what you doing and there are others (like your girls or family), know then don't have me around them like everything is all good. Because while I'm still thinking we all in love and I'm steady doing all the things that I would normally do, your friends and or family are saying in their head "poor fool if he only knew." Now the worst of the worst would be to actually have me around the the person you're cheating with. This is just plain foul. Because while I'm being all cool and buddy buddy with them, you both knowing damn well I'm playing myself like a game of solitaire the whole time.




Don't waste my time. If you are so unhappy that you must cheat on your spouse then at least come clean and admit what you've done. Why let the relationship drag on for months and years while you're unhappy and still out there cheating? Doing this is nothing but being stingy and inconsiderate. Basically you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. Although you're unhappy you're still staying. Whether it be for financial, emotional, or other reasons you're still leading your spouse on. In those months you've prolonged the inevitable we could have split, gone our separate ways, and I could have possibly been over it by now. Or I could have dealt with the initial infraction of you cheating and we could have either gotten past it or ended things cordially. But instead you chose to waste my time.





Man or Woman Up!! The bottom line is that yes cheating is dead wrong, but unfortunately it happens every day all day. Yep right now someone's man or woman is cheating on them as you read. It's very sad I know. But we all make mistakes in life some bigger than others. But just like any other wrong doing what you do after is what's going to determine your true character. Will you admit your wrong doing and accept whatever the consequences of your actions may be? Or will you hide your cheating and keep stringing your significant other along? My suggestion is to Man or Woman Up!! What's done in the dark will eventually come to light as they say. And Karma always comes back to you harder.





--C-Recks--

Keep It On the DownLoad

As we all know the Internet is also known as the "Information Super Highway." When I was first introduced to the Internet back in the 90's I had no clue that the Internet would become what it has become. The Information Super Highway has surpassed the German Autobahn. In other words, there are absolutely no limits as to where you can go on the Internet nor how fast you can get there. I mean whatever your heart desires you can find it on-line. That's right anything from a piece of food resembling Jesus or the Virgin Mary
http://www.mrbreakfast.com/article.asp?articleid=23 to a wig for your cat http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html. Yes I said a damn cat wig!! Click the link if you don't believe me. Lol.

But one thing that is probably the easiest thing to find on the Internet is pornography. According to statistics adult websites generate over $1 Billion in revenue yearly. There are more than 72,000 sexually explicit websites on the Internet and new sites are being added at a rapid rate of 266 per day. 25% of total search engine requests are porn-related. (Top three searches: sex, mp3 and hotmail). 8% of total emails are porn-related. The average daily pornographic emails are 4.5 per Internet user and 12% of total websites are pornographic. So again, as you can see whatever you want no matter how sick or distasteful you can find it on the Internet.

In fact, I recently came across a statistic that stated one-third of divorce litigation is actually sparked by online affairs. So, my question of the day is this. Is an online/Internet affair still considered cheating? Some people would say absolutely yes, some others would say no, and plenty remain on the fence. I'm just going to explore some aspects of each area and the good people out there can be the judge for themselves. There will be plenty of questions posed and you can answer them to yourselves as you read along.

Let us start by first defining a few terms. First term is adultery. http://www.dictionary.com/ defines adultery as: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse. Next, they define the word cheat as: Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife. Next, is the word infidelity is defined as 1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
3. lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression. Finally, let's look at the word unfaithful, which is defined as: not sexually faithful to a spouse or lover.

Alright we now know how the dictionary defines the words adultery, cheating, infidelity, and unfaithful. As for the word adultery, the definition strictly addresses the sexual intercourse aspect. So, as we know "cyber-sex" definitely does not involve any physical contact so I would say it doesn't fit into the text book definition of adultery. In fact, when you break it down into it's simplest form, cyber-sex is nothing more than typing. That's right 2 people typing to each other. Now true enough the subject matter is what places cyber-sex into that grey area. But comparing the definition of adultery and the act of having cyber-sex do not equal the same thing by a long shot.

Now please keep in mind I am not in any way stating that it is right for an individual male or female to participate in cyber-sex if they are in a marriage or committed relationship. I'm simply stating that based off the definition I don't think it is adultery. But I'm sure some individuals are thinking yes it is, I don't care what you say or what the hell Webster (Dictionary) or Mr. Papadopoulos say. Lol. So, for those of you with that position let's explore a few examples and see if you consider them adultery as well.

Example 1: Say for instance there is a husband that frequents a local strip club from time to time. Let's Say he goes once every 2 weeks on his pay day. He stops in after work with some co-workers, has some drinks, watches the ladies, tips, and pays for a couple of private dances. He does nothing more than this. So would you consider his actions adultery?

Example 2: There is a husband that tends to watch pornography. It is not an excessive amount but he does buy and rent movies on a semi-regular basis. He doesn't necessarily hide them from his wife but they are of course not in plain view along with the regular dvds. So is him watching pornographic movies adultery? But let's take it a step further what if instead of movies he views the pornography on the Internet? Last question what if he was viewing someone (a stranger) on a web cam would that too fall into the same category of adultery? Are all of these actions one in the same or is perhaps one worse than the rest?

Example 3: An attractive wife tends to be flirtatious by nature. She doesn't try to be but she just comes off flirty in most conversations with men. Not to mention her looks obviously attract a lot of attention when she's out in public, especially from men. So, say for instance while at the grocery store she flirts with one of the stock boys. And let's say that the package they discussed in the conversation wasn't one of the boxes he was unloading. However, their conversation never go beyond the flirting and her time in the store. Is she committing Adultery?

I don't know what your individual answers to the above examples are but personally my answer is no to each of them. Now that doesn't mean that I don't feel that these spouses aren't dabbling in behavior that is suspicious at best, and definitely disrespectful, if their spouses are unaware of what they are doing. Also, in each case there is potential that their actions can eventually lead to adultery taking place. But just the actions themselves I do not consider aldutery, cheating, or being unfaithful, based on our definitions. However, if you recall two of the definitions of infidelity were (1. marital disloyalty; adultery. 4. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression). So by definition I can definitely agree that these are all acts of infidelity because they are showing a level of disrespect to their spouses as well as proving themselves untrustworthy.

So how far is too far when it comes to "Internet Infidelity?" Is simply chatting in a regular chat room too much if you're married or in a committed relationship? Many would argue that if you're in a marriage then you have no reason even be in a chat room to begin with. You should be chatting with your spouse right? Well I play poker online and many of the poker websites have a chat feature. There have been times when females have attempted to chat with me. Usually starting with something like "ASL?" For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym it simply stands for Age, Sex, Location. Basically the other person is asking for your details starting with those 3. So, how far is too far? What about exchanging photo's with the person that you're chatting with? Or chatting while using a web cam? Now Keep in mind that the person on the other end is a total stranger that is probably located in some far away place. Many would say that as long as it's not chatting with someone they know personally that it's alright. For instance, if they were constantly chatting with say a co-worker is much worse than with a total stranger. The reason mainly being that if they know the person there is much more potential for harmless chatting to turn into something more. So what about chatting sexually (having cyber-sex) with that person too far? What if it's simply a cyber-sex thing and you never share anything more? Or contrast that with just chatting in general (no cyber-sex), but in those chats you share bits of your personal life, problems (possibly with your spouse), and emotions with that person? Which is worse? I'm sure anyone that has been cheated on before (I being one of them) would agree that physically being cheated on is bad enough, but when the cheater then develops an emotional attachment it's far worse.

So going further let's try this one. By now everyone and their momma at least has either a myspace, facebook, or blackplanet page. But should married individuals have them? Is that crossing the line? Some would say no it's fine just as long as your relationship status reflects that you're indeed married. Or some would say that as long as they are only using the networking site to stay in touch with current friends and re-connect with past ones there is nothing wrong with that. But my question is this, who really wants guys or girls across the world writing on their husband or wife's wall/message board saying how attractive they are? Or sending them notes or messages trying to holler at them all day long? Not trying to sound like the jealous type but I know if I was married I wouldn't be comfortable with it. Plus wouldn't having access to millions of potential "friends" be sort of a temptation? Or try this what if you met your significant other online would it be wrong for you to want them to terminate their myspace (or any other social networking) account? That's no different than a couple that met in say the club and all of a sudden one spouse says I don't want you to go to the club anymore. Is that not a contradiction?

I think the fact of the matter is that each individual couple has to establish how far is too far? I personally think when the individual is attempting to be sneaky and inconspicuous with it then that's a red flag that the chatting may be something more. I mean if it's all innocent and means nothing then what's there to hide. There should be no need for any of the following behavior if it's simply innocent chatting. For instance, if your spouse walks in the room the screen shouldn't have to be minimized nor should you be turning off the entire computer. Also, constantly chatting while your spouse is sleeping or at work, and having all of your accounts and computers password protected. Lastly, deleting the cookies on your computer after each use. All of these activities are definitely the work of someone that is trying to hide something and it can't be anything innocent.

So in conclusion, if your significant other is spending more time online than they spend with you then there could definitely be an Internet affair going on. More than anything, I think any affair whether Internet based or actually in person points to a much deeper problem. Something is lacking or not being fulfilled within the marriage or relationship. If a person will take the time to form a bond whether sexually based or emotionally based on the Internet when they have a spouse physically there living in the same home as them, then again there's something lacking. Unfortunately, if you are in this position I can't tell you what it is you'll have to do some soul searching yourself to discover the answer. But take it from someone that's been cheated on before (don't worry it was not Internet based) it's not a good feeling at all. But unfortunately, in today's times you not only have to watch out for the other man/woman on the street trying to steal your spouse. Now, you have to worry about the potential of anyone on the entire World Wide Web becoming a "cyber-mistress." Which is indeed a Sad Reality.

--C-Recks--