Closed Captions

So I've been reading a local paper here in Chicago called The Red Eye a lot lately and they have this segment in there called Captions. Basically they put a picture up and you can text in a caption for the picture. If it's what they consider the best one then they feature it in the next day's issue along with your name. Well by chance a couple of weeks ago one of my captions actually was chosen. The image is below.

You may have to click on it to read clearly. But basically it's a pic of Ryan Seacrest with his hands in his pocket on what looks like a red carpet. My caption read: "I would take my hands out of my pockets but I didn't get my manicure this morning." Then my name is to the right of it.

So I thought it would be fun to do something similar on this blog. I'll see what types of random and hopefully funny pics I can find online. Then I will see what kind of caption I can come up with for each. Don't worry I'll try to keep it clean for the most part or maybe not. LoL. Also, I usually come off the top of the head so I can't guarantee the captions will be 100% funny. But I've been told that I tend to crack myself up and laugh at my own jokes often. So if nothing else this will be entertaining to me. LOL.

Alright Here we go!

"I know I'm a bit new to this going down town thing. I mean I've heard of eating pussy but no one ever told me it would eat you back!"

Shaq: "Sorry Lebron I put on a little weight over the off season. But we can still make a run for the title this season. Look I can finally knock down my Free throws!!"

No one really knew that Notorious B.I.G. believed in Hinduism. Well he was reincarnated into this deer, but he's still spitting his same lyrics "Big is lookin to hurt what's under that skirt!!"

"Before I started taking Viagara I was only able to make women rise using magic. But now when the time is right I can rise to the occasion as well." ;-)


Girl: **Reading Cue Card in obvious reading voice** You may not believe it, but it is true, if it was not for his shirt I wouldn't have been attracted to him."

"Dammit grandma stop being a light weight. This is the last time I take shots of Patron with you."

"Hey dude remember that stripper from the bachelor party last night wearing the mask? Look at your bride's tongue ring. Doesn't it terribly look familiar?"

Guy Pointing:"Damn homie you see the ass on shorty right there she thick as hell!?!" Last guy on right: Nigga put on your glasses that's Olive Oil!!

Guy: "I know you can't wait to get me home can you?" Girl: **Laughs** "Have you ever hear that how a man dances is similar to how he performs in bed?" **Shrugs** "Good thing I have a vibrator."

"Damn weed has me with the munchies and I only had enough money for 5 bags of snacks. But if I throw this book hard enough at the vending machine glass it may break and I can get more."

"Thanks girls for adding more songs to my I-Tunes for me. This new shit by Jigga is off the Heazy for Sheezy! Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey Goodbye!"

"I should've known not to trust her hating ass. How the hell did I let her convince me to do the Stanky Leg down a runway anyways?"




"Not only do I use this to take the whole family's blood pressure. But truth be told this thing doubles as a penis pump for your dad."

"She's not quite Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazard. But hell, she's close enough. Besides at my age I don't get too many of these opportunities."

Man: **Does Bird call** "What Happen to that Boy?" Woman: "Honey let's go! I told you that no matter how many times you do that stupid bird call you will not be ballin like Baby from Cash Money Millionaires."

"Ladies and gentlemen I am broadcasting live from atop a 7-Story building where I will attempt to be the first reporter to end his fear of heights on Live television."

Okay that's all I could find online. Hope you got at least 1 or 2 laughs out of those. Hell I got more than a few while writing. LoL. I'll try to find more random pics for another of these posts at a later date.

--C-Recks--

4 Weddings and A Funeral

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you..." Eric B. &Rakim "I got Soul."

Okay I want to personally apologize to all for our lack of posts over the last month. I wish there was a specific reason we could quote as to why we haven't been posting, but unfortunately there isn't. There have been no major tragedies or drama (Thank God), and all is actually going very well with the new job and everything else. So to be honest I will simply chalk it up to pure laziness. As my late granny Alverta often use to tell my brother "You're just Lazy! Boy You're Just Lazy! Why are you so Damn Lazy?!!?" LoL. The new job has kind of been kicking my butt and my commute has changed to public transportation (I'll maybe reveal why in a later blog). But by the time I get home I'm too lazy to read or write.

But I want to thank all of our followers for being patient and not going anywhere. I was quite surprised when I logged in the other day to see that we still had the same number of followers. I was expecting half of you to stop following. Most of my previous blogging and reading was done while at my old job and it's much harder to do that from this job. Yes I actually have a steady flow of work to do. And as great of a multi-tasker I am I have yet to be able to fit blogging into all I do now. But I will make better attempts to read everyone's blog and start blogging at least 1-2xs a week.

Also, I decided to finally jump on the Tweeter bandwagon so feel free to follow me there @ http://twitter.com/crecks.

So this isn't a major blog but just got presented something and I just had to speak on it really quick. So speaking of work I actually have my 60 day review today. So I've been here 2 months. Now I worked 5 years for a smaller company and for a company not much bigger than that prior to. But the company before that was much bigger and they tended to celebrate everything. I mean you name it they celebrated it. Birthday, baby shower, wedding, engagement, etc.

Well I've found myself back at another company that does this. I told you how on day # 2 I got talked into signing up for the birthday club. But I did so thinking that my birthday was coming up next so why not. But since then I've already had to put my $5 in on 3 other birthdays. But it's not just the $5. But then I have to bring some kind of snack or goody for the party. Isn't that what my $5 was for? So, now my boss is getting married next month and just got an e-mail that I gotta put in on that as well. We're not having any strippers in the office so to be honest I'm good on putting in on his party. If there were going to be strippers of course I'd be the first putting my money in the pot. LoL. But I don't want to be the only one not contributing so I'll pony up next week. I'm actually starting to feel like Elaine in this episode of Seinfeld Below. LoL.

Now today I got an envelope passed by me. I opened it and read that a lady from another department's husband died. They of course wanted a donation and they had a card to sign. Now I didn't have any cash on me so I'm like I can't put in. But I did want to at least sign the card and send my condolences. But I guess since I didn't put in on it I couldn't sign the card. As smokey from Friday said "You didn't put in on this Maaaan!" So I'm like damn okay well get me next week if it's still going around. Or I'll just give my condolences when she returns to work.

But basically I feel like I'm in 1 of those churches that pass the collection plate around about 5 times a service. After you put in on the first time it's like damn come on now. You mean we still don't have enough for a new building yet? LoL. All I know is that I better get hooked up come my birthday next month. I at least need my $15 back I've put in so far. LoL.

But that's it people nothing major or exciting. Hopefully, I can get something good for you next week. It's finally nice weather in Chicago so I plan on getting out and enjoying. Have a great weekend everyone.

--C-Recks--