4 Weddings and A Funeral

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you..." Eric B. &Rakim "I got Soul."

Okay I want to personally apologize to all for our lack of posts over the last month. I wish there was a specific reason we could quote as to why we haven't been posting, but unfortunately there isn't. There have been no major tragedies or drama (Thank God), and all is actually going very well with the new job and everything else. So to be honest I will simply chalk it up to pure laziness. As my late granny Alverta often use to tell my brother "You're just Lazy! Boy You're Just Lazy! Why are you so Damn Lazy?!!?" LoL. The new job has kind of been kicking my butt and my commute has changed to public transportation (I'll maybe reveal why in a later blog). But by the time I get home I'm too lazy to read or write.

But I want to thank all of our followers for being patient and not going anywhere. I was quite surprised when I logged in the other day to see that we still had the same number of followers. I was expecting half of you to stop following. Most of my previous blogging and reading was done while at my old job and it's much harder to do that from this job. Yes I actually have a steady flow of work to do. And as great of a multi-tasker I am I have yet to be able to fit blogging into all I do now. But I will make better attempts to read everyone's blog and start blogging at least 1-2xs a week.

Also, I decided to finally jump on the Tweeter bandwagon so feel free to follow me there @ http://twitter.com/crecks.

So this isn't a major blog but just got presented something and I just had to speak on it really quick. So speaking of work I actually have my 60 day review today. So I've been here 2 months. Now I worked 5 years for a smaller company and for a company not much bigger than that prior to. But the company before that was much bigger and they tended to celebrate everything. I mean you name it they celebrated it. Birthday, baby shower, wedding, engagement, etc.

Well I've found myself back at another company that does this. I told you how on day # 2 I got talked into signing up for the birthday club. But I did so thinking that my birthday was coming up next so why not. But since then I've already had to put my $5 in on 3 other birthdays. But it's not just the $5. But then I have to bring some kind of snack or goody for the party. Isn't that what my $5 was for? So, now my boss is getting married next month and just got an e-mail that I gotta put in on that as well. We're not having any strippers in the office so to be honest I'm good on putting in on his party. If there were going to be strippers of course I'd be the first putting my money in the pot. LoL. But I don't want to be the only one not contributing so I'll pony up next week. I'm actually starting to feel like Elaine in this episode of Seinfeld Below. LoL.

Now today I got an envelope passed by me. I opened it and read that a lady from another department's husband died. They of course wanted a donation and they had a card to sign. Now I didn't have any cash on me so I'm like I can't put in. But I did want to at least sign the card and send my condolences. But I guess since I didn't put in on it I couldn't sign the card. As smokey from Friday said "You didn't put in on this Maaaan!" So I'm like damn okay well get me next week if it's still going around. Or I'll just give my condolences when she returns to work.

But basically I feel like I'm in 1 of those churches that pass the collection plate around about 5 times a service. After you put in on the first time it's like damn come on now. You mean we still don't have enough for a new building yet? LoL. All I know is that I better get hooked up come my birthday next month. I at least need my $15 back I've put in so far. LoL.

But that's it people nothing major or exciting. Hopefully, I can get something good for you next week. It's finally nice weather in Chicago so I plan on getting out and enjoying. Have a great weekend everyone.

--C-Recks--

Sweetest Hangover

So as you all may know I recently started my new job. I thank all of you that wished me success. A few have asked how the new job was going. So I figured I'd take a little time to give you guys a little update on my new place of employment.

First of all I must say that I don't know why but my family thought my last job was some big G-14 Classified secret mystery. They often referred to me as Tommy from Martin (You aint got no Damn Job Maaaan!! LoL). Especially my brother. But they would often ask me what did I really do? As much as I explained they didn't seem to believe me. LoL.

Well with this new job all of that has changed. It is blatantly obvious as to what I am doing now. In this new position I am employed by a major chocolate manufacturer. I'm sure there are plenty of chocolate lovers out there. But the funny thing about it is I don't really even eat chocolate like that. I mean maybe every now and then, but it's a rarity. Well if chocolate is your weakness this is definitely not a place you would want to work. Much like I could never want to work as a sampler in a beer factory or a P-factory. LMAO.

Let me just tell you when you walk into the building the smell is overwhelming. And don't call yourself being on the Kanye get right for the summer work out plan. You can forget it, because that's not going to work here. They keep chocolate on tap for the employees. In my interview it was about 10 AM and one lady I was interviewing with asked me "Do you need anything? Water, coffee, or chocolate?" I was thinking chocolate at 10 am? Are you crazy? Well apparently she was serious. As you can see from the pics below the chocolate is just in candy dishes around the office and building. There is a lady whose job is to re-fill the candy dishes when they get low.

When I first saw their benefits package I wondered why in the hell the dental plans were so low. But now I realize exactly why they were so low. The reason being is because they're probably helping keep plenty of dentists across Chicago in business.

But so far I'm liking the job. Although there are definitely some characters, the people are really nice. I of course work with mostly all women again. But definitely not as bitter and annoying as at my old job. There are other black people around me so I'm not the odd man out anymore. One thing I forgot about working for larger companies is those damn birthday clubs. By Day 5 they were already recruiting me. And by week #2 I already had to contribute $5 to someone's birthday in my department. They're having some kind of party today. I thought about saying I barely even know y'all yet so why would I contribute. But then I heard someone say that there are no more birthdays til summer. Then I thought well my birthday is in a couple months so a $5 investment isn't too bad as long as I get hooked up come May. LoL.

My longer commute isn't too bad. Far from my 2 minute drive I used to have to the old drive. But it's not as bad as I thought. Well that was until my Ipod went out on me. But I'm still managing for now. Also, my new work space is bigger than at the old place as you can see below. Day one they had my name plate up on my desk made me feel kind of important. Lol. Also they're really high tech with wireless headsets and stuff like that. I was pretty impressed. But I guess a real company doesn't mind spending money. What a concept.

Now my brother and I will never hesitate to take a couple of cheap shots at each other where possible. The only downfall to the job is that I've left him with what seems like unlimited ammunition to shoot me a new nickname when he feels like it. So far I've been called Cory Wonka, R.Kelly (Chocolate Factory), and Candy Man. I'm sure he's not done yet. He's probably saving some of the better ones for later. But if anyone has any good ones for him feel free to join in. Don't worry I'm not sensitive so don't worry about hurting my feelings. In fact I just thought of a good one myself. You ready? Give it up for "Sexual Chocolate!! Sexual Chocolate! That Boy's good!!" LMAO.

--C-Recks--

Exit Strategy: Update

So as you all may know from my previous Exit Strategy post I finally got a new job and I start today. I want to thank you all for the congrats and advice on how I should leave my previous job. Well I must be honest with you. Although I asked for advice, I of course had it made up in my head as to how I was going to leave. But I thought I would at least entertain you guys suggestions. So here's how everything went down.

Of course being the professional I am I went with option #1 and typed out my resignation letter below and gave it to my boss on that Friday. You can read it below, but I'm going to interject with what I was really thinking or at least wanted to say in red. Warning, Parental Advisory suggested.

February 6, 2009

Dear Mr. (Boss),

I am writing this letter as my formal notification that I am resigning from my position as (____) with (Company name). Friday February 13, 2009 will be my last day of employment.

I Quit! I should leave today, but I'm feeling nice and giving y'all another week of work from me.

This was not an easy decision to make as it has been a genuine pleasure working for (Company name). The work has been both challenging and productive and I have thoroughly enjoyed working with (Company name's) fine staff of professionals. I will miss my associates here.

As soon as I got the call that I got the new job I didn't have to think twice and immediately accepted. The last 3 years working here have been pure hell. After all the people I was friends with either got fired or quit I couldn't stand coming in daily to these bitter ass women. There are 2 people left I pray find something better so they can escape as well. Those 2 I will miss. The rest of y'all can kiss my ass.

If I may be of assistance in the recruitment, hiring process, or training of my replacement, please know that I will gladly make myself available to this effort.

This next week don't ask me to do s**t beyond my regular job. And you better hope that I will even do that. Well I may pretend to be working; however, I am most likely on the Internet reading or writing blogs as I have been hiding doing the last 9+ months. But since I don't give a damn anymore I will let you know not to disturb me. And if you're really smart you won't ask me to train a damn person, because after I finish telling them the real deal they definitely won't want to work here.

Sincerely,
Peace,

As Jay-Z said. "For the rest of y'all throwin shots at Jigga, you only get a half a bar F**k Y'all niggaz."

C-Recks

CC: Supervisor with her b**ch ass

CC: Owner with his b**ch ass

So I give him the letter sit down in front of him and he says "You're leaving?!?" And keeps reading and looks at the last date as Friday 13th. Then he has to nerve to ask me "You can't give us 2 weeks notice?" I reply "Unfortunately that's not an option for me at this time." Are you f**kin serious? You have the nerve to ask me to give you 2 weeks? I bet when you were ready to fire me at the end of this month I wouldn't get 2 weeks notice of that s**t.

So he asks "Are you getting out of the business or going anywhere I know of?" I reply I'm not going anywhere at all I'm just resigning from here. His face perks up and looked like he wanted to say WTF? I'm not stupid the owner is an old Italian man and I swear he's in the Mafia or something. I got stories I could tell. But his ass is connected and knows some of every one. You think I'm gone tell you I got a new job so he can make a call and f**k my s**t up? Oh hell naw! Hand me a mirror because Someone must've written stupid on my forehead since I last looked in the mirror.

Flustered, he then says "you know when I wrote you up last month it wasn't meant as a bad thing (now I have the WTF face). Last month you did much better, you didn't improve to where it said you should in the write up, but nonetheless you did do much better. So I reply "hmmm that's funny, but also part of the problem because you all don't tell us when we do good. But you're quick to point out when we are doing bad." Plus I could have sworn the damn write up letter said and I quote "If your numbers aren't improved by the end of February we will be forced to replace you." Your words not mines.

He then says "I only wrote the letter because I wanted to motivate you to do better." Wait! Again are you f**kin serious? Because you can't have just told me that with a straight face. But let me get this straight. You want your employees to do better... so let's write them up and threaten to fire them. Okay great strategy. Well guess what? You did motivate me, you motivated me to get the hell outta this damn job and get another!

"Well we hate to see you go and you will be missed, we appreciate your 5+ years of service for the company, some other babbling about how much he always liked me." Extends his hand to shake mines. Blah Blah Blah. What the f**k ever. Save that BS talk because I know damn well your ass didn't like me and don't worry the feeling was mutual. So like a limp d**k there's No "hard" feelings at all.

I Shake his hand and begin to smile big. I was ready to jump up and down in this chair like Tom Cruise on Oprah's show. I Walk out of the office and go back to my desk ready to do a lot of non-work for the rest of the day/week. We had a lunch meeting later that day and my manager announced that I resigned to the rest of the company. The funniest thing is that no one said anything to me the rest of the week. Not one where you going to or why are you quitting or you'll be missed or any of that. And believe me these are the nosiest women in the world so them not asking I found funny.

So on my last day I had planned on bringing donuts or something for everyone. Just as a good parting gesture. But I must admit I also contemplated the stealing of the tissue again and some adding exlax to the donuts, but I'm not that cold. LoL. But I figured since no one really gave a damn why should I. So I came in late my last day, did my last 6 hours, and that was that. I Said my goodbyes to everyone and even gave and received some fake hugs and I will miss yous. The only thing I will miss about this place is that my drive here was only 2 minutes. But I will gladly drive 35-45 minutes to the new job to get away from this place. Peace.

So that was that I kept it professional all the way throughout. Excuse the excessive cursing. I don't normally curse that much unless I'm upset. Well maybe I do, but not all in one setting like that. LoL. But today I start at the new job. Therefore I am not sure how much blogging I will get to do this week. I'm sure I'll have some stories to share from the new gig soon enough though. My brother should be able to hold it down the blog though. I definitely won't be able to do as much reading and he rarely reads so excuse my absence on everyone's blogs and comments. In closing, here are a few pics below I took of my old desk. Have a great week!!

Not sure what my new desk will look like, but hopefully it's much larger than this cramped space.

Goodbye old desk and cramped space. (This is the cleanest it's been since I've worked there. LoL)

This quote was told to me by a good friend last year. I wrote it down and posted it on my monitor. It's been there ever since. It may not have happened last year. But good things come to those who wait. And so far this year is definitely setting up to be that year. Thanks KDW.

Some of my art work. I was very bored back in the day. Thank God I discovered blogging to occupy my time at work. LoL. Oh and no one try to steal my "Black Out" product idea. Patent is pending. LoL.

Finally after removing all of the items pinned up on my cubicle I took all of the stick pins and made a peace sign. So when they walk past my desk they will know I've peaced the hell out. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Exit Strategy

If any of our faithful readers recall, on inauguration day I had a job interview. I needed suggestions on what excuses to use to call off. If you didn't read it check it out here. Well in that post I revealed how shaky things were at my job. I didn't go into details at the time. But just know when I say shaky I'm talking shakier than a man with Parkinson's at the craps table having an epileptic seizure during an earthquake. LoL. (No offense to anyone with any of those ailments, I was just illustrating my point).

Basically after 5 years of dedicated service can these MFs wrote me up last month on some you got til the end of February to get your #s up or we're going to replace you. I took that one on the chin and in front of my boss I first laughed, then shook my head, signed the write up, and walked out of his office. If you only knew how deep this got. I'm the only black person left. They fired the only other black person about 4 months ago. So I knew I would be next at some point. To be real I been on the grind for the longest probably about a year and a half on and off trying to get the hell out of this place. But for the last 6 months I been on the grind non-stop. I've been on several interviews, but just having no luck so far.

Well good people, I am thrilled to report that I just got a call from the company I interviewed with inauguration day. And they offered me the position!! I will be starting on Monday February 16th. I plan on giving my notice sometime tomorrow. So here's where I need a last bit of help from you readers. I'm trying to figure out how I should exit. Below are the choices I'm throwing around in my head.

1. Give them a regular letter of resignation tomorrow, put in my final week next week and leave respectfully and honorably. Thank them for 5 years of employment, and just say goodbye.

2. Give them my letter of resignation tomorrow detailing how bogus, racist, and discriminatory they are/were and forward a copy to the EEOC.

3. Show the hell out! Curse everyone that I didn't like out. Bitch slap a couple people I really couldn't stand, and do something to mess them up somehow. Nothing crazy like putting a virus on the computers or anything. But just something funny like taking all the damn toilet tissue out the place. LMAO. There was a skit on The Dave Chappelle show where he quit his job after he thought he knocked Oprah up. If you haven't seen it, check below he showed his ass in that skit. I mean literally showed his ass! LoL. (Thanks for the link Malika)

Chappelle's Show

Dave Gets Oprah Pregnant

Charlie Murphy Videos
Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs

Black Comedy
True Hollywood Story

4. Wait until next Friday right before 5pm and throw them the deuces. Most jobs fire you without notice and wait til 5 damn pm to let you go. 2 weeks notice my ass. Feel free to take up to 2 weeks to notice I'm gone!!

Wait I better subtract a finger. LoL

5. Can't think of anymore so feel free to get creative and give me suggestions or ways you've quit bad jobs in the past. I'm all ears. LoL.

I want to thank those of you, including friends and fam that wished me good luck and maybe even said a prayer for me. I Thank God for this blessing especially in these tough economic times. The saying "He's may not always be there when you call, but he's always on time" definitely applies to my situation. Also, a special thanks to my bff. She was there from day one helping me grind, update and fix my resume, find jobs for me to apply to, and motivate me to keep going after each denial.

Just keep in mind most of my blogging was done from work. So there may be a slight hiatus after I start on the 16th. So hopefully my brother will be able to hold this down and keep the blogs coming regularly. I will update you on next week as to how I made my exit. LoL. Lastly, I'm not really a New Year's resolution person. Well I don't write them down at least. But this year I had 4 main things I wanted to accomplish. Number one was to finally find a new job. So that makes one down, and a second in the works. I'll update more on those as they're accomplished.

Thanks again to all.

--C-Recks--