Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Testimony Tuesday

Its that time again. Yep it's Tuesday and we are back at you with an all new "Tuesday Testimony." If you need the background on how this new segment began then please check out the first "Tuesday Testimony" from last week. Well after opening up the floor for new testimonies we've had a subtle response thus far. This week we received 1 anonymous comment and also a couple of e-mails, which is more than we expected. Unfortunately, at this time we can only post 1 per week, so the others may be used for later posts. But by all means keep em' coming in.

Again you can send in your testimony by anonymously commenting to any of our posts or you can send an email to callmecrecks@gmail.com. All emails and comments will remain anonymous. However, as always we will give our honest and possibly blunt opinion. Then we may mix it with a few jokes just because that's what we do. But regardless we'll give you the real deal. Then open it up to the readers and their opinions.

So with that said let's get into today's "Tuesday Testimony." To begin just keep in mind the subject of this letter is not PG-13. It's not XXX but it's probably somewhere between Nc-17 and X. LoL. Just a warning to those that may be a little more conservative feel free to exit now before the elevator doors close! LoL. But by all means don't take offense this is a grown up blog and we're having a grown up conversation. This week's Testimony was sent in via email:

So about a month ago I caught my guy watching a porno movie. He wasn't doing anything except watching. Now it wasn't anything major because as a woman I know that all men watch porn. But it was a slight shock to see him doing it in front of me. Well he didn't stop watching as I came into the room and he actually asked if I wanted to watch with him.

Now I'm not going to pretend like I've never watched porn before in my life, but I will admit it's never been to the extent that a guy would watch. And I've never watched with a partner before. To be honest it really doesn't do much for me. I'd much rather do my own thing than watch someone else do it. But when he asked I did notice how turned on he was and thought it would be a "fun" experience for both of us.

Well long story short I agreed to watch with him. But as I sat next to him watching I found myself asking him a lot of questions, laughing at certain thiings I saw, and even talking about the actors in the film. After a while he grew tired of my antics and turned off the movie and left out the room. I was hoping we would doing a reenactment of the film ourselves but I could see he wasn't even aroused any more.

Since that episode I've walked in on him watching porn again a couple of times but now he just turns off the movie when I walk in. I don't care that he watches porn without me, but I would also like it to be something we can do together as well and then reap the benefits of it there after. Basically I want him to feel comfortable to invite me to watch with him again, but I don't know how to approach the subject.

What should I do?
Here is our reply and conversation about the comment done via messenger:

C-Recks: Man this letter here is pretty funny only because I'm sure every man in the world that has watched porn with a woman has experienced this.

Driza Dre: yeah, I would have to agree

CR: And I can just feel my man's pain

DD: See the thing that women don't realize is that porn is a whole different world for men, And for the men that are brave enough to try to bring their woman into that world, well its usually not a positive outcome.

CR: I think instead of the FBI warning at the beginning of the porn movies about bootlegging there should be some other basic rules. Lol

DD: right

CR: Something like The 10 Porn Comandments

DD: Can't tell me nothing bout this porn. My Mr. Marcus Niggaz. Lol

CR: Lmao you a damn fool. (If you have never heard Biggie's "10 Crack Commandments" then you may have missed that symbolism).

CR: But shit since u sparked it hit em wit that #10 rule and we can go back and forth.

DD: Well shit, I say # 10 is number one to me. As a woman, you can't take it personal. I mean, yo man watching porn doesn't mean that he's not into you or that he's into any of those crazy things. Its just different. That's all. So don't hold it against him. I mean, if you watching porn with him, I'm sure he won't be trippin over the guy's packages that you'll be looking at. So don't sweat him.

CR: Well I'll say #9 is STFU! Oh sorry let me be nice please hush during porn time. A man doesn't need u killin his porn high by talking and asking a million questions about what's going on or how she can make her ass can clap like a whole audience on a game show. Or how fake her orgasms are or how nasty this or that is. We know all that but its porn you get what you get.

DD: In the same vane as #9, #8 is, just because he's watching a porn with a white girl in it doesn't necessarily mean that he's in to white women. Again, its a fantasy world. Plus, white porn is just better than black porn. I mean, if you put in a black porn, you have to sit and listen to some niggaz demo tape before the F*CKING starts. Sorry, but that gets old

CR: Lmao! Yeah I can't mix porn and rap! As Kanye said "that's why we watch your porn in fast forward cuz we don't wanna hear that weak shit no mo!" Lol

DD: Exactly. Lol. Also to the porn emcee. The next one of you niggaz to get a deal will be the first one of you niggaz to get a deal. Give it up! Unless you count Lloyd Banks/Brian Pumper. LOL

CR: Lmao I knew the Lloyd Banks was coming. **In my best Lloyd Banks voice**"Nigga what you say!" Lmao

CR: Well #7 plays off of that I say that women can't see their guy's porn stash and see some freak nasty stuff and assume her guy is automatically into all of that shit. Again its fantasy if he likes to watch 5 chicks get it on, trust its pure fantasy because the nigga will neva get that lucky! Eva! Lol

CR: Unless he watches gay porn then that's a totally different ball game and he may be batting someone else's balls. Lol. Or if it's anything else that's just out of the ordinary then "Houston we Have a Problem."

DD: Well, I draw the line at clown porn. If yo dude is watching people with big feet and squeezable red noses having sex, you have a right to ask some questions. LOL

DD: Tell him DrizaDre said so! Cuz hell, I wanna know why?

CR: Lol yeah if its some way off the wall shit then I will say u have the right to think something is wrong and even question it. Cuz some stuff like midget porn, beasteality or sick stuff like that is just weird and disturbing. But then again if he's into some off the wall stuff like that then I'm sure his porn stash isn't the first you've heard of the weird shit he's into.

CR: I'm talkin bout "normal" porn.

DD: Well, here's a serious tip for #6. If you've had enough of the porn, feel free at any time to spark off a session with your man. I've never heard of a man saying "naw baby, we can't have sex til I finish this Booty Talk #147. I mean, I do have to return it to the video store." If the porn has been on for two minutes or more, he's probably ready to throw down. So reach out and touch, or whatever it is that you do to spark it. Its time.

CR: No doubt! Lol

CR: Well #5 has to be take mental notes. Trust if you see something in the porn feel free to see if you can make the same happen in the bed. Your man will be pleasantly surprised and give you plenty of props (or something better) for trying it out without him having to ask or beg you to try it.

DD: Unless its some gay shit, If so, refer back to rule #7

CR: Lmao exactly

DD: #4 may sound redundant..... And it is STFU! But let me add this little tid bit. That doesn't just go for the particular day or night you'r watching the porn, but in the days after as well. There ain't nothing worse than being blindsided with something like "So you don't expect me to do a threesome just because we watched the porn last night?" I mean, that's a crazy comment over the breakfast table!

CR: Man yeah you don't know whether to ask to pass the K-Y or the syrup. lol

DD: LMAO. Better get it right!

CR: Well #3 is this ALL guys watch porn! Period point blank. I would feel like I deserve a no snitching fine if this wasn't a known fact! So please don't act surprised, upset, pissed, confused or whatever else when you catch your man watching porn or happen to "stumble upon" his porn stash! It is what it is and refer back to rule #10 when u find it

DD: Do I have to reiterate rules four and nine? Ok, well rule #2 is enjoy yourself. Its just porn. You haven't committed a cardinal sin or anything. At least I don't think so. But you'll have to take that up with your particular God. I'm not saying that you always need porn to make the sparks fly, but its a definite enhancer. And who knows, maybe that might help him to come to you and ask "What can I do for you to make it special". Just a Thought

CR: Well #1 then just sums them all up to me and I've already stated it. But it's simply It is what it is. Its porn. Its not real its not and never will be a replacement for real sex. Its not anything beyond its title, its porn. Its a billion dollar industry and they all get paid off people's desire to want to watch. As long as you keep it mind that it is what it is it will avoid plenty conflicts that arise that are porn related.

CR: I think the 10 Porn Commandments pretty much answer her question and if she can apply those rules her porn experience with her man will get better results. That's all I got but hit em' with a closing argument if you have one .

DD: Nope, the 10 speak for themselves. Damn if this ain't some of my best work actually. But apply the rules ladies, and you be the judge.
Well that's our take on it. Any readers that want to give any other tips or helpful advice please leave your comments. And if you have a testimony please leave your anonymous post or e-mail.

--Driza Dre--


MR. CHAP said...

lol, you guy are hilarious.

Midgets are people too, you know?

Queen of My Castle said...

I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I STILL don't get the whole porn thing. The fake moaning just turns me off. Now, if he's down to watch some girl-on-girl...then I'm game, other than that, I'll pass on watching.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

LOL...duly noted

12kyle said...

This is hilarious but you guys are dead on point! Show me a man who said that he doesn't watch porn and I'll go Joe Wilson on em YOU LIE!!! I've enjoyed a good skin flick many dayz. I don't watch as much as I used to before I got married. Not because I can't...just because I don't have the time. However, me and the wife have watched em and laughed. We never get to watch any more than 10 mins...knowwhutimsayin! LOL As for the young lady, if he will watch it and then NOT want to sleep with you...then there's a problem there. The flick should be the jump off! You should reap the benefits of it

Sexxy Luv said...

LMAO! something told me to come to the blog world today and this is what im hit with?!?

I'm cool with porn but i get more aroused with the girl on girl porn, not sure why...

Anonymous said...

Dear Brothers',
A friend sent me an email asking my opinion on a situation and I thought I'd ask for your opinions:

What do you do when a friend wants to sleep with you? The friend knows your spouse but they are very very unhappy a home. And they feel that, just for one night and one night only, you’ll give them what they need?