I Got 5 On It

I'm gonna put myself out there a little bit on this one, but you'll feel me. I listen to a lot of talk radio. (Probably 90% of all my radio listening time is spent on the AM dial). One of my favorite people to listen to is Glenn Beck. He's a witty and quirky commentator that you can find on the Fox News Channel. So everyday I get an email from him (or his people) recapping the day's show content. I find this useful because when I'm not at home in Phoenix, I rarely get a chance to listen to him. Well the emailed newsletter from Monday March 9th had this little bit of news sprinkled in it: March to Socialism - Pole Tax. Immediately my ears perked up. Could they be talking about what I think they're talking about. So I read the article and sure enough, the state of Georgia is proposing adding an additional $5 tax to each patron in order to pay for victims of sexual abuse and human trafficking.

Now I want to stop right here for a moment. I'm am not unsympathetic to the plight of those poor individuals who have been affected by sexual abuse and human trafficking. My heart goes out to them, and I pray for the best for them and their recoveries.

Now back to this $5. Some of you may be aware, others oblivious, but Atlanta, Georgia is one of the premiere locations in America for Strip Clubs. And while I am not necessarily an expert on this issue, I have done enough research to write a dissertation. (But I guess that would make me an expert. Lol). I can tell you with some certainty that placing this additional tax on customers should be a huge windfall for the state of Georgia. But that's just it, its for the state of Georgia. Sure they say that its for the victims, but that's just what they say to get people to go along with it. Just like the taxes they impose of cigarettes. They tell you that its for all these different programs, but really, its just more money going to the state. I have watched more than my fair share of Law & Order, and only on rare occasions do the police or prosecutors offer any assistance to victims in monetary form.

Here's the other thing about the tax hike. Are the legislators in Georgia making a correlation between strip clubs and the numbers of sexual assaults in their state? If not, then why are they singling out this particular industry for this tax? I mean, it would be like taxing the buyers of water polo equipment to pay for clean water programs. Sure they have the unifying element of water, but water polo is played in a swimming pool. Most water pollution occurs in our lakes, rivers, and oceans. Same thing with this tax. Yes, strip clubs and sexual abuse have the unifying element of sex, but that's as far as it goes.

Will this stop people from going to strip clubs? Of course not. As a matter of fact, I have a wedding to go to in Atlanta in May, and I'm hoping that the bachelor party is at one of their local facilities. (Magic City preferably, as it is the Vatican City of strip clubs). And if it costs me an extra 5, fine. You pay for the experience right? I just have a huge problem with Government once again taxing those things that they consider "immoral". Sin taxes as they're known in Chicago. The way I look at it, if I pay my income taxes, why should they look for every possible way to snake even more of my money away from me. Hell, look at them now. All but four states are running budget deficits. As far as I'm concerned, Government hasn't proven to be very responsible with our money anyway. Besides, I wouldn't be surprised if some of your tax dollars were being spent by these very same politicians in some of these very same establishments.



We as a nation are headed down a slippery slope here with this whole socialism thing. Government is not the answer. (Let me repeat that for those in the back of the room), Government is NOT the answer! And if you don't believe me, 200 plus years ago, a man much smarter than I said "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves". That man was Thomas Jefferson, the original drafter of the Declaration of Independence. Think he may have been on to something? I mean, he did get that whole "America" idea of the ground. I'm just saying. (Credit to Glenn for the "I'm just saying").


-DrizaDre-

P.S. In my research for this blog, I came across this story. It didn't really fit, but I couldn't resist saying something. People, come on, power tools are not sex toys! And if your name isn't Tim the Toolman Taylor or Bob Vila, why are you bringing buzz saws into the bedroom anyway? I know that there are some sick perversions out there, but this one is definitely one of the stranger ones. (And the clown and balloon thing). Lol

We All Scream!!

So this past weekend I was at the Park with my Son. It's sort of a hot day out but not too bad in the shade. So we're at the corner end of the park and we hear that old familiar music playing. As soon as we hear it both of our ears piqued and we look at each other. Almost simultaneously we both say it. "ICE CREAM MAN!!" So I looked around and saw that the Ice Cream Truck was actually a good distance away. We would have had to run (I would run at least and he would ride his bike) to make it there before he left. As I stated it was hot so I told my son we're gonna miss it this time but I promised him that we'll make sure we get some ice cream the next time. Ironically, he was okay with that and we continued to play.

So, the following day my son and I find ourselves at the park once again. Of course we were playing the usual baseball, soccer, riding his bike, etc. As we're playing we hear that familiar sound of the Ice Cream Man driving past again. With the elephant memory my son has he quickly tells me "hey daddy there's the ice cream man remember you said you would get me one next time." Of course I hadn't forgotten it was only the day before when I made this promise. So I told him yes I remember and he's right there so we can get some ice cream this time. We proceed walk over to the ice cream truck and while standing in front of it I ask my son what he wants. He points to the picture of what he wants on the board (Image 1). I tell the man in the truck what he wants and he goes into the freezer, gets it, and hands it to my son. Then I tell him I want a strawberry shortcake bar (Image 2).

(1)

(2)

Well I'll be damned if the guy in the truck doesn't hand me my ice cream bar then say $5. I know the saying goes "We all scream for Ice Cream," but if my son wasn't standing there I would have screamed out WTF? (What The F**K for those that aren't familiar with the acronym). However, I caught myself and instead just said "What? $5?" Yes I sounded just like that character Chris Rock Played. Only thing missing was the "Good Lawd that's a lot of money." In true Chris Rock fashion I was tempted to say how bout you keep the cream and just give me the ice for $1. LoL. So I asked the man how much was each ice cream and he proceeds to tell me $2.50 each. I said $2.50 are you serious? I quickly handed my ice cream back to the man. My son immediately asked me "why did you give it back daddy?" I was about to do the same with my son's ice cream, that was until I looked at his face and I could tell he was ready to devour it. I just couldn't do it to him especially after I promised and he had already held it in hand. Plus when I looked at his it was the larger than normal size bomb pop. Whereas, the ice cream bar they handed me was just the regular size. Not to say it was worth $2.50 but I was willing to compromise. Alright go ahead and call me a push over, but I'd like to see you look into that little face and take away his ice cream on a hot day like that. I'm not that damn cruel. LoL. So, I paid the man the $2.50 and walked off.

Being the inquisitive little boy that my son is (he gets it honest) he again asked "why didn't you get anything daddy?" So before he can start running through possible reasons which he is known to do, I tell him that it was too expensive. He then accepts the answer and proceeds to devour the American Flag colored ice cream. He even asked me "How come no one else got any ice cream?" I answered probably because they knew the price and I was the only idiot to fall fall victim. As I said that another man there with his children walked past and I heard him snicker at my answer. Well as he ate the ice cream I watched as his mouth quickly turns a bright shade of red. He then hands me the ice cream and says hold this daddy you can eat some since it's melting then runs off to go play some more. So I'm sitting there holding a $2.50 ice cream bar watching pennies go to waste with each melting drip. What do I do? Well as not to waste money I do as my son told me and start to eat the ice cream before it completely melts. But all the while I'm thinking about the last time I bought one of those ice cream bars I wanted. It had to be a long time ago but even still I can't recall paying more than $1.25 for it. I mean in some bars I can get a pint of ice cold beer for $2.50. So my question is are times really that hard? Where the local ice cream man is ripping kids off like Big Worm from Friday?

Well I just couldn't let it go. So I had to come home and do some research to find out what was the price of a box of these ice cream bars. http://www.maxdelivery.com/nkz/exec/Product/Display?productId=260059709 As you can see the price of a box of 6 is only $4.89. Even after the new snake ass Cook County sales tax [10.25% The Highest in the country] that's is still only a total of $5.40. Which divided by 6 ice cream bars is only $0.90 cents each. That is the non-sale price. However, some times you can catch a decent buy one get one free sale at the local grocery store. Now I do understand that the ice cream man provides a convenience and therefore should be paid for that service. I mean he's right there with cold ice cream on that hot summer day so you don't have to drive to the store. Also, I know that gas is expensive as hell and to drive around the neighborhoods at 2 miles an hour [like Fresh Prince] stopping and going I'm sure burns a lot of gas. And I know it's gotta be hot inside the truck with the deep freezer in there and that with that side window open they most likely can't have the air conditioner on. But even with all that considered, to make $1.60 per ice cream bar is just highway robbery. The fact that they're ripping off kids makes it even worse. What's next? Chuck E. Cheese charging $20 entry fee and a 2 drink minimum? I mean come on what's the most you as a parent will give your kid to get something from the ice cream truck? I would say $1-$2 at most. So imagine if I sent my son there himself with $2 and he came back like daddy it's not enough. Back in the days our parents could send us to the ice cream truck with $1.00 and we'd come back with 2 ice creams and some candy. If this is the new trend for ice cream trucks I feel for the kids of today. When you can't take a few quarters and run outside when you hear the sound of the ice cream truck, but rather have to break open your piggy bank times are really bad.

But speaking of ice cream trucks and back in the day I'll close this with what is probably the most traumatizing story about ice cream ever. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Alright so I'm about 6 years old which would make my brother 8 and my 2 cousins Trice 7 and Kita 5. It was summer time and all the kids were out playing. Well the ice cream man happen to make a stop in the apartment complex that day. So, we all ran into the house to ask for money for the ice cream man. My mom and my aunt Mel aka Marilyn (Trice and Kita's mom) and my other aunt Phyl were in the house. As we all ran in asking for money for the ice cream they didn't hesitate to give us the money. However, Aunt Mel gave them the money with specific instructions to bring her change back. She may have given them about $2 I think. My brother and I got $1 to split. After receiving the money we all ran off to the ice cream truck. After standing in line we all got our respective ice cream bars. As I stated, prior the inflationary price increase of ice cream $1 could buy 2 ice cream bars. I don't recall what ice creams everyone bought but whatever my cousins got they had approximately $0.50 cent in change left over.

So as we're all sitting there enjoying our ice cream there was a boy that we all knew that had no ice cream. Well he proceeded to ask us if we had $0.50 cent he could have/borrow. As you know my brother and I had exact change so we had nothing to spare. But my cousins had the 2 shiny quarters. Don't ask me how or why but my brother goes and convinces my cousins to give the change to this boy. This amongst other incidents could be the root of my brother and cousin not getting along to this day. Lol. Now it seems like an innocent action and you're probably thinking it's only 50 cent what's the big deal? Well that is because you don't know Marilyn Williams. Next, we all begin to walk home as the boy proceeds to buy his ice cream. As we walked into the house all of us had a mouthful of ice cream. But as sure as sun rises and sets the first thing out of Aunt Mel's mouth was "where's my change?"

We all immediately stopped in our tracks and looked at each other and got quiet for about a minute. Finally my cousin Trice fessed up that they had given the money to a boy for some ice cream. The next thing I know there are F-Bombs and other expletives coming out of her mouth faster than a machine gun shoots bullets. Without having to put a parental warning on this blog I can't go into detail. But something along the lines of "why the F*&k did you give my money to some boy?" would be pretty accurate. So as we all stood there what would happen next would be stuck in my mind forever. After the verbal onslaught she gave, she then grabbed one of my cousins ice cream and wound up like Roger Clemens style and the next thing I know the ice cream slams up against the kitchen wall. BAM!!! Then she grabs my other cousins and it quickly meets the same fate as the first. I was utterly shocked, afraid, and prepared to lose my ice cream next. However, much to my surprise it didn't happen. She stopped at the 2 ice creams, and immediately demanded my cousins to clean up the mess. I remember my brother and I later finishing our ice cream of course out of the sight of our cousins. But I can't for the life of my imagine what would have caused my aunt to snap like that over 50 cent (in change not the rapper if it was Curtis Jackson maybe I could understand). However, I'm sure that if I think long and hard that there was an empty bottle of Sutter Home somewhere in the room.

Luckily for us (me, my bro, and cousins) ice cream prices back then were not as they are presently. I mean if she did all of that over 50 cent then I can't even fathom what may have taken place if she had just paid $5 for two ice cream bars. Lastly, the $2.50 I spent on the ice cream was already bad enough. But if you take a look at the picture below you'll see that my son's nice bright yellow shirt (I know the sidekick camera doesn't do the yellow any justice) quickly turned to yellow with green spots. You see the packaging from the ice cream wasn't even strong enough to hold the blue liquid in the bottom. So the blue part of the ice cream quickly blended with yellow to leave green spots on the shirt. I don't give a damn how much I Shout that stain is not coming out. So there you have it go ahead and add another $5-7 to my $2.50 for one ruined shirt. Basically an ice cream bar cost me close to $10. All I know is that if I happen to see this particular ice cream man again I may be liable to turn into my aunt an hurl something at his truck.

--C-Recks--

Finders Keepers

So I'm walking home from work one day last week. And about 10 feet in front of me I spot something. Nah it can't be what I think it is who would do such a thing. It's even harder to tell if it's really what I think it is because it's in the grass. So, I keep approaching. At about 5 feet away I realize it is indeed what I thought it was. So what to do? Well if any of you have been in this situation then you know that you must react in a certain way as to not make what just happen seem obvious. So at about 3 feet away I'm completely focused on this object like an Eagle about to swoop down and grab their prey. Please keep in mind that with all this stuff running through my head it seems like minutes have passed by, but in fact this has all taken place within a matter of about 10 seconds. So as I'm about a foot away I keep walking past the object and in one motion reach down and pick it up without even missing a step.

So what did I find? Well I'm sure by now you've all guessed it. Yes it was money. The coveted green back, the root of all evil, the almighty dollar, some cold hard cash, dead presidents, or whatever slang term you want to use. Yes, there in the grass I actually found $7 whole dollars, a $5 and two Singles to be exact. Just laying there folded up. Yes I know I'm a rich man so feel free to form a line around the block to get a loan. Although it's nothing major it's also nothing to sneeze at either especially in today's economy. I mean if I walked up to you and said here's $7 for nothing are you going to refuse it? Alright then! I didn't think so. So now you're probably asking so, "What's the point? You found $7 whoopti damn doo. Did you take the time to write a blog just to brag? LoL.

Well as I stated when I originally spotted the money it was a matter of seconds before I was upon the money and picked it up. So, as I recollected on this story I just found it funny that there is actually a procedure one goes through when they find money. Now if you don't believe me just keep reading. I'm willing to bet that if you've ever found money (at least $1 or more) that you've done at least one of the things I mention. For further evidence of this please take a look at the video at the end of this blog. So here's the step by step instructions on what to do when you find money.

1. Spot the Money! - I spotted the money (which we all know is green) in green grass. Luckily it wasn't tall grass (which I hate. lol) so it wasn't hidden. However, from 10 feet away some eyes may not have spotted it until they were closer. But it goes to show that we all know money when we see it. So, what happens when you first spot what you think to be money? Well first I would say we all get anxious; however, we all deal with it differently. As for me, I tried to play it cool as to not tip anyone else off that I spotted some was money. I could have easily ran to the spot in the grass but in an effort not to tip someone else off to the money I chose to play it cool. But you better believe that inside I was "So Anxious" like Genuwine.

2. Look Around!! - Prior to picking up the money, most will take a long look around their surroundings. Why? I mean you found it so why should you look around? Well the answer is simple. Although you are finding something, the majority of people for some reason feel like criminals especially when finding money. So they will look around to make sure that no one is spotting them picking up this money. Some of the more considerate individuals will even look out to make sure no one else is about to claim the money before they pick it up. As you can see I pretty much skipped this step all together. But I did a little looking out in the 10 seconds it took me to walk up to money if that counts at all.

3. Pick it up!! - So you've spotted it and done the recon and no one is watching you or around looking for the lost money. So now all that's left to do is pick up the money. Seems so simple right? Well if it was I wouldn't be writing this would I? Lol. I guess there are plenty techniques one could use to pick up the money. But the object of the pick up is to be as inconspicuous as possible. The more obvious you are the greater the chance of someone spotting you and possibly claiming the prize before you. As you can see from my story I picked up the money and didn't miss a step in my walk. Even if someone was paying very close attention to me the entire time they would not have been able to tell what I picked up or that I even picked up anything at all. So whether you bend down to tie your shoe or use the old gum on the bottom of the shoe trick just make sure you're not obvious in your actions.

4. Look Around Again!! - So you've got the money in hand now what? Well you can't just walk or run off. You've got to again look around to make sure you get to keep your prize. I mean if you happen to stand up and the person who lost it hovering over you, there is a chance you may catch a mouth shot depending on how much money it is. Therefore, you have to look around again just in case you have to quickly toss it back down to where you found it.

4a. Also, under this step of look out you should take note that you may want to also look around to make sure there is no more money lying around. There could be more money a few steps ahead or to the side. So make sure that you're not leaving money around for someone else to find.

5. Flee The Scene!! - Now as I stated although this is not a criminal act (that is as long as the money isn't found inside a bag marked FDIC) it is sometimes treated as such. So once you have the money in hand you can't just be lallygagging around the scene of the "find." I don't mean that to say that you should run away like Carl Lewis but at the same time you should make some kind of a move.



6. Count Your Windfall!! -

Please do not attempt to count your money until after you've fled the scene. Again if you're sitting there with found money attempting to count it you may be subject to someone saying "Hey that's mines!!" However, once you've mad it a safe distance from the scene of the "find" then feel free to get your count on and see just how much you've come up on.

Now if you're anything like me then these are the steps you'd take. If not exact, then some sort of variation of the above steps at least. However, some of you kinder gentler souls with more integrity can always attempt to find whose money it is. You know walk around asking if anyone lost some money or even put up signs around the area where the money was found. Just keep in mind if you ask me I'm liable to say yes knowing damn well I didn't lose any money. Lol.

But in all honesty I do have some integrity and if someone had asked me if I found or saw $7 I would have given it to them. Plus I'm attempting to teach integrity to my son, so I have to lead by example right? However, if I found $65,000 like the lady in this story [below] I can't 100% say I'd have as much integrity as she had and give the money back. But bless her heart for her honesty. For her efforts she was even rewarded $5000 and a free trip to Walt Disney World Resorts. But I'm sure she'll have to pay taxes on that $5000 though.

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2007/oct/15/turning-bag-cash-pays/?news-breaking

But even as a small children we're taught the simple phrase "Finders Keepers Losers Weepers."
Now I'm sure you're all wondering what I did with the $7. Well in an attempt to flip this $7 I somewhat invested the money. As Nas said in his song Life's A Bitch "that buck that bought the bottle could've struck the lotto." Although I could have used a nice cold 6 pack of beer after a long day of work, I played the Mega Millions instead hoping that I would have a story to tell when I won. Well someone definitely won the $84 Million that night. But of course it wasn't me or else I wouldn't be telling my story in this damn blog. Instead I'd be on TV holding up a big check and telling it. LoL. So I guess I invested the $7 in the Illinois Education Fund. So to that person that lost the $7 just know that it went to a good cause.

--C-Recks --

"Dollar on a String Trick"

(Pay close attention to how they attempt to pick up the money)