Showing posts with label 50 cent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 50 cent. Show all posts

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Repost: Best of Both Worlds

Since today is SuperBowl Sunday I thought this old post from September would perfect to repost today.

There's a new White commercial that has been recently airing. I wasn't able to find the video online so you'll have to settle for my description. If you need to view a previous version of the "when the crave calls" commercial click the link. They're all virtually the same basis just with different scenarios. The basic premise behind this particular commercial is this. A guy and a girl are on the couch and look to have just been "fooling around" and the girl says "I'll be right back and don't you go any where." Basically she's letting him know that she's going to go slip into something a little more "comfortable". Well as she walks away the guy's cell phone rings. Well the caller on the other end is not really a person but the crave calling him to come eat White Castles (cue the music). The man tries to reason and explain that it's not a good time right now. The music plays again indicating that the crave is very insistent on him coming right now! Unable to resist the crave, and in true fictional fashion the guy chooses to answer the crave and runs out of the door. Just as he exits a scantily clad female walks out wondering where he went.


Now yes the commercial did bring about a bit of a laugh. But one of the times I saw this commercial I was on the phone with my brother and we were both watching the same Chicago Bears game. Well of course he agreed just as probably any guy that watched this commercial would and said there's no way that they would choose hunger over even the slightest possibility that sex is going down. Especially in the case of the commercial where this man was 99.9% golden pending he wasn't one of those unfortunate men that require a little blue pill and forgot to take it. LoL. Being of the male species I can and will keep it real with you. Let's say a man just got released from being held hostage for months I'm talking having been starved and tortured John McCain style (We've all heard the story by now). However, upon his release if you immediately put on a table a sandwich (with the works ham, turkey, salami, cheese, bacon, etc.) and next to that sandwich a naked woman I'm willing to bet all I have that 90% of the time the man will take the naked woman. Now perhaps midway through handling his business he may take a quick bite of the sandwich to keep his energy up, but the initial reaction is all the evidence I need to win the bet. LoL!

Well I thought that my theory was bullet proof like 50 Cent, that was until someone posed this question to me the other day. I will attempt to phrase the question just as it was stated to me.

"Let's say it's Super Bowl Sunday and you're having a Super Bowl Party. So you've got good food, lots of beer, the big plasma TV, some good friends and family and the most comfortable seat in house all ready for the Big Game. What if right before the opening kick off your wife or girlfriend calls you to the room. You run to the room as to not miss any of the game and upon entering the room she greets you naked and wants you to have sex right then and there. What do you do?"

Now unlike my previous example with the food vs sex, for some reason I was just a bit puzzled as to what my answer would be. My very first thought is what kind of nymphomaniac freak have I married or gotten involved with that would even put me in the position to make this choice? LoL. I mean does she not know that I have watched game after game week after week (16+ in total) in order to see this one game? Does she not know I've watched my favorite team lose heart breaking games and even perhaps miss the playoffs this year? If she's my wife or girlfriend then she has to know all of this. So why oh why would she do this to me?

Alright I know this is by far not the worst position to be put in world but still it's a decision that I would prefer not to have to make. I can see the angel and the devil on my shoulder trying to get me to choose sides. Except in this case I don't know which is the good side and which is the bad side. But on one side there's a man with a football referee uniform on and the other is a woman with an angel robe on and a cheerleader outfit under it. Now both have valid arguments as to why I should choose one over the other.




Ref: Why are we even having this debate we've done the coin toss time for the kick off get out there on the field game on!! (Blows whistle).

Angel: It's sex!!

Ref: That's all you have to say to plead your case? It's sex? Would you tell her to put some clothes on and come back out here so you don't miss any of the game.

Angel: It's SEX!!
Ref: Is this really your argument? So you think that just because it's sex he's supposed to miss the biggest game of the year? You bought that 55inch Plasma screen just for this game!

Angel: Let's Talk about sex baby... (Singing the words to Salt and Peppa's song).

Ref: See this is B.S. it's Super Bowl Sunday. You have cold beer, snacks, and the best damn sporting event waiting on you what's to think about?

Angel: S.E.X. take a deep breath and think before you let it goooo!!... (Singing the words to Lyfe Jennings' song).

Ref: (Blow Whistle and throws flag!!) Personal Foul unnecessary singing!!

Angel: Listen this is all I have to say. No, it's not sex again. But there's a beautiful naked woman here ready and willing. Now you mean to tell me you'd rather watch a man take a snap from behind another man when you could be taking your own snap with her as your center?

Ref: Man she's your girl she's not going no where why does it have to be now? How about you sacrifice the half time show. (Whispers: Don't worry Janet Jackson isn't performing this year) You can come and finish this then.

Angel: Oh trust it'll be too late by then and you'll probably be sacrificing about a months worth of sex and your bed. So I hope that Lazy Boy is extra comfy.

Ref: (Blows Whistle) Injury timeout on the field. Get my man an ice pack for his future blue balls!! Because we're still going back to watch the game right?

Angel: Okay here's the last chance and the last option for you. Tivo or DVR. You do your thing here and when you get done go back and rewind the game and watch from the beginning. You'll both be happy, she gets what she wants (sex) and you still get what you want (the game). You can skip the commercials and the half time show and come back and watch them later and by the end of half time you'll be back watching the game live. So what do you say?

Ref: I think I saw a challenge flag thrown.

Me: Well she does have some valid points I think I'll take her last option.

Ref: After further review of the play the ruling on the field stands: This is some bullshit!!

Angel: No man can resist you were fighting a losing battle.

(Both poof and disappear)

Well in actually the thought process of that decision took a matter of a few seconds but believe it or not all of those things went through my head before I gave my answer to the question. The DVR option was in fact my final answer by the way. Thank God for technology. LoL. But on the real I just can't imagine being put in a situation such as that. I mean I love Football and sports but does it outweigh a man's desire to want to have sex?





Before I go just just a quick word of advice to the ladies. Please don't do any nonsense such as this to your men. Now if it's preseason, even regular season then let's make it happen, I'll even miss the whole game. And although it's a stretch, I may even make an exception for the playoffs. But on Super Bowl Sunday this is just torture. Although most will choose the sex option there will be plenty of resentment behind it. And no offense he's not doing it because he wants you oh so bad at that moment. It's because he doesn't want to face the possible consequences of choosing football over you. So a simple solution to this is to go ahead and watch the game with him. You may not know what the hell is going on but just sit quietly and ask very few questions during the game. When he cheers just cheer right along with him. Keep a cold beer near and a few snacks within arms reach. And if he's happy with the outcome of the game celebrate with him and if he's sad or upset just don't bring it up at all. If you can do this one thing then trust and believe your man will do anything you want the day after the game. His honeydew list will be completed and he'll be rubbing your feet and feeding you grapes. Well maybe that's a stretch but he will appreciate this gesture and you will be rewarded generously for it.

P.S. To the guys. You know how they say most guys break up with their girlfriends before Christmas and stay single until after Valentines Day? Well the Super Bowl is usually before Valentines Day. Hint Hint. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Thursday, August 7, 2008

A Penny For My Thoughts

Well I just couldn't resist such a topic. So I'm not trying to show up my brother on this one. My mind just thinks a little different than most. LoL. But you'll get what I'm saying as you continue to read. So with no further ado I give you ... A Penny For My Thoughts...

Or A Jay-Z said "It's Just My Thoughts Ladies and Gentlemen...


I'm no hacker or anything. But if I was I wouldn't waste my time coming up with ways to spam e-mail boxes or come up with stupid viruses that kill peoples hard drives. I'd come up with a way to take one penny from every bank account in the world without anyone finding out. Besides who's gonna miss a penny. Even the cheapest people in the world won't trip if they balance their check books a penny off. But with the millions of bank accounts world wide I may not be rich off pennies at a time but as they say "Slow Motion better than... LoL.*Disclosure- If someone commits such a crime I had nothing to do with planning or executing it. But if someone writes a book, movie or show based on this idea please view the date and time of this blog posting because I want my damn cut. LoL.*


Ladies please don't take this as a complaint because it's far from it. But here's one thing I never understand that you do. Why expose your cleavage on purpose but then get upset when a guy peeks at it. Now I'm not talking about staring like some sick pervert and saying you have great New York boobs like Dave Chapelle. However, I mean simply checking it out. Another comedian Jerry Seinfeld gave men the rule to think of cleavage as the sun. You look at it to make sure it's there and quickly turn from it but never stare at it. Lol. All I can say is men will be men it doesn't matter the instance, if cleavage is on the scene they're gonna sneak a peek. Therefore I warn you to be prepared if you are preparing to put your cleavage on display. Although it will never happen, but if I chose to wear a speedo I wouldn't be upset if women were checking out my package. Lol

I recently heard 50 cent's song 21 questions. On an attempt to catch him up I counted his questions and did you know his ass asked exactly 21 questions? That's not counting those by Nate Dogg on the hook by the way. It was actually 19 then he asked 2 final questions in the bridge of the song. But I'm sorry I think this particular question is a filler at best and shouldn't count. "Are you mad because I'm asking you 21 questions?" You know that shouldn't count. I'm just saying. Now that I think of it I hope this isn't a filler thought. LoL.


If I had one failed marriage where I jumped the broom, would I increase my odds of success on my next marriage by jumping a mop? Or what about a vacuum or dust buster? I know the reason behind the broom is based on a tradition. But don't they say if you do the same thing you get the same results? LoL.







I know the Summer Olympics start this week. And I know they traditionally run the torch across the world to get it to the lighting ceremony. Do you think any of the torch carriers ever thought this. "I'd be the man or woman if I was to light up a blunt and or square using this torch." I would hope it wasn't a black person that ever did such a thing. But unfortunately it only sounds like something a black person would not only comptemplate but actually do. And as ghetto as it is, I know if I saw it on TV after shaking my head and then laughing, I'd have to give whoever was bold enough to do it much props. LoL

Well so far that's a nickel let's see if I can get a dime out of you.


Lays potato chips' slogan is "betcha can't eat just one." But have you ever bought a bag of chips and it seems like it's maybe only 5 damn chips in the bag to begin with? The rest they pumped with air to give the appearance of being full. Then you feel like you would have been better off buying the little quarter bag of chips.







When a pimp retires from pimpin is there some sort of pimp pension? 401k pimp plan? Or does he just get a lifetime cut of what his hoes bring in even their social security checks? LoL. I mean it's just hard for me to imagine seeing an old pimp working in like Walmart or something as a greeter or collecting carts. As the saying goes guess "It's hard out here for a pimp."






Anyone that knows me knows that I have a lot of hats. Usually I'll buy hats to match certain outfits or whatever. But I was thinking this isn't an original concept. In fact if anyone has a grandma that attends or attended church then you know they are the originators. Mainly the older black grandmas, I don't know about you new school grandmas. LoL. But you know she never went to church without that matching hat I don't care how hot or cold it was outside.



I love new technology and all. But the one problem I have with Blue Tooth Head Sets is the fact they're getting smaller and smaller. Now when people use them you can't tell they're using a blue tooth. I know that's the point and that eventually they'll probably be reduced to the size of an ear bud. However, I know I'm not the only person that has seen or heard someone talking and it either seems like they're talking to themselves or to you. Then when you ask if they were talking to you then you're the one that feels stupid for not knowing they were on their cell phone. LoL.




Alright I'm finally at a dime. And last but not least I have a question for the dymes of the world. That's right the extraordinarily beautiful females out there. Is there any reason why your friends are never as fine as you? Or even close to your "10" status? Is there like some underground code that we men don't know about? It's just a big contrast to go from looking at you then ... your girl(s). Now I'm not calling anyone ugly because we're all beautiful in our own way right? But we men have our own speculations as to why you do this. Maybe it's too much competition and if you're trying to get the most attention you wouldn't put someone next to you that will take away from that. Reminds me of how a bride will put her brides maids in dresses not as eye catching and spectacular as her wedding dress. All I can say is don't be stingy if you're a dyme it's okay to let the occasional 7, 8, or even 9 hang with you. Hell you're still the top rung so be confident in your beauty enough to step your friend game up. LoL.

That's it for now make sure you pay your tab before you leave. Tips are appreciated. No checks, Money Orders or C.O.D.s. I do accept paypal though.


--C-Recks--

Thursday, July 31, 2008

We All Scream!!

So this past weekend I was at the Park with my Son. It's sort of a hot day out but not too bad in the shade. So we're at the corner end of the park and we hear that old familiar music playing. As soon as we hear it both of our ears piqued and we look at each other. Almost simultaneously we both say it. "ICE CREAM MAN!!" So I looked around and saw that the Ice Cream Truck was actually a good distance away. We would have had to run (I would run at least and he would ride his bike) to make it there before he left. As I stated it was hot so I told my son we're gonna miss it this time but I promised him that we'll make sure we get some ice cream the next time. Ironically, he was okay with that and we continued to play.

So, the following day my son and I find ourselves at the park once again. Of course we were playing the usual baseball, soccer, riding his bike, etc. As we're playing we hear that familiar sound of the Ice Cream Man driving past again. With the elephant memory my son has he quickly tells me "hey daddy there's the ice cream man remember you said you would get me one next time." Of course I hadn't forgotten it was only the day before when I made this promise. So I told him yes I remember and he's right there so we can get some ice cream this time. We proceed walk over to the ice cream truck and while standing in front of it I ask my son what he wants. He points to the picture of what he wants on the board (Image 1). I tell the man in the truck what he wants and he goes into the freezer, gets it, and hands it to my son. Then I tell him I want a strawberry shortcake bar (Image 2).



(1)


(2)


Well I'll be damned if the guy in the truck doesn't hand me my ice cream bar then say $5. I know the saying goes "We all scream for Ice Cream," but if my son wasn't standing there I would have screamed out WTF? (What The F**K for those that aren't familiar with the acronym). However, I caught myself and instead just said "What? $5?" Yes I sounded just like that character Chris Rock Played. Only thing missing was the "Good Lawd that's a lot of money." In true Chris Rock fashion I was tempted to say how bout you keep the cream and just give me the ice for $1. LoL. So I asked the man how much was each ice cream and he proceeds to tell me $2.50 each. I said $2.50 are you serious? I quickly handed my ice cream back to the man. My son immediately asked me "why did you give it back daddy?" I was about to do the same with my son's ice cream, that was until I looked at his face and I could tell he was ready to devour it. I just couldn't do it to him especially after I promised and he had already held it in hand. Plus when I looked at his it was the larger than normal size bomb pop. Whereas, the ice cream bar they handed me was just the regular size. Not to say it was worth $2.50 but I was willing to compromise. Alright go ahead and call me a push over, but I'd like to see you look into that little face and take away his ice cream on a hot day like that. I'm not that damn cruel. LoL. So, I paid the man the $2.50 and walked off.

Being the inquisitive little boy that my son is (he gets it honest) he again asked "why didn't you get anything daddy?" So before he can start running through possible reasons which he is known to do, I tell him that it was too expensive. He then accepts the answer and proceeds to devour the American Flag colored ice cream. He even asked me "How come no one else got any ice cream?" I answered probably because they knew the price and I was the only idiot to fall fall victim. As I said that another man there with his children walked past and I heard him snicker at my answer. Well as he ate the ice cream I watched as his mouth quickly turns a bright shade of red. He then hands me the ice cream and says hold this daddy you can eat some since it's melting then runs off to go play some more. So I'm sitting there holding a $2.50 ice cream bar watching pennies go to waste with each melting drip. What do I do? Well as not to waste money I do as my son told me and start to eat the ice cream before it completely melts. But all the while I'm thinking about the last time I bought one of those ice cream bars I wanted. It had to be a long time ago but even still I can't recall paying more than $1.25 for it. I mean in some bars I can get a pint of ice cold beer for $2.50. So my question is are times really that hard? Where the local ice cream man is ripping kids off like Big Worm from Friday?

Well I just couldn't let it go. So I had to come home and do some research to find out what was the price of a box of these ice cream bars. http://www.maxdelivery.com/nkz/exec/Product/Display?productId=260059709 As you can see the price of a box of 6 is only $4.89. Even after the new snake ass Cook County sales tax [10.25% The Highest in the country] that's is still only a total of $5.40. Which divided by 6 ice cream bars is only $0.90 cents each. That is the non-sale price. However, some times you can catch a decent buy one get one free sale at the local grocery store. Now I do understand that the ice cream man provides a convenience and therefore should be paid for that service. I mean he's right there with cold ice cream on that hot summer day so you don't have to drive to the store. Also, I know that gas is expensive as hell and to drive around the neighborhoods at 2 miles an hour [like Fresh Prince] stopping and going I'm sure burns a lot of gas. And I know it's gotta be hot inside the truck with the deep freezer in there and that with that side window open they most likely can't have the air conditioner on. But even with all that considered, to make $1.60 per ice cream bar is just highway robbery. The fact that they're ripping off kids makes it even worse. What's next? Chuck E. Cheese charging $20 entry fee and a 2 drink minimum? I mean come on what's the most you as a parent will give your kid to get something from the ice cream truck? I would say $1-$2 at most. So imagine if I sent my son there himself with $2 and he came back like daddy it's not enough. Back in the days our parents could send us to the ice cream truck with $1.00 and we'd come back with 2 ice creams and some candy. If this is the new trend for ice cream trucks I feel for the kids of today. When you can't take a few quarters and run outside when you hear the sound of the ice cream truck, but rather have to break open your piggy bank times are really bad.

But speaking of ice cream trucks and back in the day I'll close this with what is probably the most traumatizing story about ice cream ever. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Alright so I'm about 6 years old which would make my brother 8 and my 2 cousins Trice 7 and Kita 5. It was summer time and all the kids were out playing. Well the ice cream man happen to make a stop in the apartment complex that day. So, we all ran into the house to ask for money for the ice cream man. My mom and my aunt Mel aka Marilyn (Trice and Kita's mom) and my other aunt Phyl were in the house. As we all ran in asking for money for the ice cream they didn't hesitate to give us the money. However, Aunt Mel gave them the money with specific instructions to bring her change back. She may have given them about $2 I think. My brother and I got $1 to split. After receiving the money we all ran off to the ice cream truck. After standing in line we all got our respective ice cream bars. As I stated, prior the inflationary price increase of ice cream $1 could buy 2 ice cream bars. I don't recall what ice creams everyone bought but whatever my cousins got they had approximately $0.50 cent in change left over.

So as we're all sitting there enjoying our ice cream there was a boy that we all knew that had no ice cream. Well he proceeded to ask us if we had $0.50 cent he could have/borrow. As you know my brother and I had exact change so we had nothing to spare. But my cousins had the 2 shiny quarters. Don't ask me how or why but my brother goes and convinces my cousins to give the change to this boy. This amongst other incidents could be the root of my brother and cousin not getting along to this day. Lol. Now it seems like an innocent action and you're probably thinking it's only 50 cent what's the big deal? Well that is because you don't know Marilyn Williams. Next, we all begin to walk home as the boy proceeds to buy his ice cream. As we walked into the house all of us had a mouthful of ice cream. But as sure as sun rises and sets the first thing out of Aunt Mel's mouth was "where's my change?"

We all immediately stopped in our tracks and looked at each other and got quiet for about a minute. Finally my cousin Trice fessed up that they had given the money to a boy for some ice cream. The next thing I know there are F-Bombs and other expletives coming out of her mouth faster than a machine gun shoots bullets. Without having to put a parental warning on this blog I can't go into detail. But something along the lines of "why the F*&k did you give my money to some boy?" would be pretty accurate. So as we all stood there what would happen next would be stuck in my mind forever. After the verbal onslaught she gave, she then grabbed one of my cousins ice cream and wound up like Roger Clemens style and the next thing I know the ice cream slams up against the kitchen wall. BAM!!! Then she grabs my other cousins and it quickly meets the same fate as the first. I was utterly shocked, afraid, and prepared to lose my ice cream next. However, much to my surprise it didn't happen. She stopped at the 2 ice creams, and immediately demanded my cousins to clean up the mess. I remember my brother and I later finishing our ice cream of course out of the sight of our cousins. But I can't for the life of my imagine what would have caused my aunt to snap like that over 50 cent (in change not the rapper if it was Curtis Jackson maybe I could understand). However, I'm sure that if I think long and hard that there was an empty bottle of Sutter Home somewhere in the room.

Luckily for us (me, my bro, and cousins) ice cream prices back then were not as they are presently. I mean if she did all of that over 50 cent then I can't even fathom what may have taken place if she had just paid $5 for two ice cream bars. Lastly, the $2.50 I spent on the ice cream was already bad enough. But if you take a look at the picture below you'll see that my son's nice bright yellow shirt (I know the sidekick camera doesn't do the yellow any justice) quickly turned to yellow with green spots. You see the packaging from the ice cream wasn't even strong enough to hold the blue liquid in the bottom. So the blue part of the ice cream quickly blended with yellow to leave green spots on the shirt. I don't give a damn how much I Shout that stain is not coming out. So there you have it go ahead and add another $5-7 to my $2.50 for one ruined shirt. Basically an ice cream bar cost me close to $10. All I know is that if I happen to see this particular ice cream man again I may be liable to turn into my aunt an hurl something at his truck.



--C-Recks--

Monday, June 23, 2008

Full Clip to Pulpit???

In 1996 when first heard Mason Betha aka Mase rap on the remix to 112's "Only You" I think I kind of had a neutral reaction. In other words, I had no strong opinion of him either way, he was just sort of blah to me, nothing spectacular, but at the same time he wasn't the worst rapper either (Suga Free still holds that title). But at first, I think it wasn't a big deal because I knew Bad Boy still had the greatest of all time on their team the Notorious B.I.G. So to add a Mase to the team was like the Chicago Bulls with Michael Jordan adding Pete Myers, it's not going to add to or take away from the team's ability to win. Unfortunately, the tragic death of Notorious B.I.G. took place soon after on March 9, 1997. After mourning, label owner Sean "Puffy" Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P.Diddy still had to make executive decisions. Much like Chicago Bulls GM Jerry Reinsdorf had to do when Michael Jordan retired.

So when executive decision time came Diddy went ahead and ran with what he had which was Biggie's "Life After Death" album, Mase, himself and some no name acts currently riding the bench at the bottom of the roster. The Life After Death album dropped approximately 3 weeks after Big's death (Keep this fact in mind). Of course I was one of the first in line to buy my copy of what would be Big's last studio album. Well when I looked at the song list on the back I noticed something that seemed strange. There were 3 songs that featured Puff Daddy including a song called "Mo' Money Mo' Problems" which also featured Mase. Now it was never unusual to see Puff Daddy sharing part of Biggie's limelight (go back and watch any Biggie Video). However, to hear Puff rapping was very abnormal in my eye. Even though there was a single that I had heard from Puffy and Mase it was still not the norm. Now producing, doing ad libs (Take That!), and dancing in videos that was Puff's M.O. all day. But rapping just seemed out of the norm at that time to me. Well later down the line after Puff's solo career took off he explained that he had Biggie's blessing and that Big always encouraged him to go ahead and rap. So I guess with "Big's blessing" he chose to explore this part of his career on Big's Life After Death album.

Well to again refer to the Chicago Bulls analogy with Pete Meyers, it's easier to run with or behind the greatest than to take over for the greatest. Although Meyers was at one time hyped to be the next Michael Jordan when he had to prove it all by himself...well you get the point. I'm not sure if Puff's next decision was an experiment or what but as mentioned above he released "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" which was Puffy Daddy Featuring Mase. The song sampled Grand Master Flash's "The Message" and the chorus had an interpolation of another old song "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder. Well I was trying to remember the exact time when this song was released and couldn't quite remember. So after doing some research I found out that this single was actually released prior to the Life After Death Album and its first single "Hypnotize." However, in my opinion it was a flop and a very lack luster effort and first single for Mase or Puffy. But this somehow flew far under the Bad Boy Radar because don't forget Big's Album release date was quickly approaching so we all somehow let Puffy and Mase off of the hook for this one. Ironically, the single would go on to appear on Puffy Daddy's first solo album "No Way Out" which would actually end up dropping prior to Mase's first album. For some reason Puffy's album dropped only 3 months after Biggie's album. I'm not sure how Puff found the time to mourn the loss of his closest friend all while finishing recording his solo CD, do promotional touring for it, and still run a successful record label; however, I guess we all mourn differently and don't forget as they say "the show must go on." Well go on it did No Way Out went on to spawn 4 successful singles including "All About the Benjamins," "Been Around the World," and "Victory" all which conveniently featured the Notorious B.I.G. And who can forget Puffy's dedication to Big "I'll Be Missing You."



Well it was apparent that Mase nor Puff were able to hold their own on their own so what was the next logical move to make? Well let's just say that Mo' Money Mo Problems just so happen to be the 2nd single selected off the "Life After Death" album. Now keep in mind that Life After Death was a double CD so it had a total of 24 tracks (22 full songs minus the 2 interludes). So, this was a solid album that had many songs with single potential, but I always wondered why Mo' Money Mo' Problems was picked as the follow up single to Hypnotize. Well I say if you want to know why a puppet makes certain moves look to see who's pulling the strings. So next up was Mo' Money Mo' Problems which sampled the Dianna Ross song "I'm Coming Out." Then, add a million dollar video directed by Hype Williams, a couple of "shiny suits," some old video footage of B.I.G., some horrible acting by Mase and Puff and BAM! you've got your next 2 platinum selling Bad Boy artists.



After one more single from B.I.G.'s album ("Sky's the Limit" featuring 112), it was time for Mase to take his place as Bad Boy's new lead act. By this time Mase had made plenty of guest appearances not only on Puff's album but on remixes for other artist such as Brian Mcknight and Mariah Carey. Therefore, it was time for "Harlem World" Mase's debut album. Honestly, after the "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down" and "Mo Money Mo Problems" I had already decided I was not a fan of Mase. So when I heard the first single from his album "Feels So Good" it was to no surprise that it was heavily influenced by Puffy. Once again an old song was sampled, this time it was "Hollywood Swinging" by Kool & The Gang. Also, once again a lot of bright lights and shiny suits were in the video. His next single, "What You Want" Featuring Total had another sample from Curtis Mayfield's "right on for the darkness." I would go on to say this song and the single to follow "Lookin at me" somehow made Mase more appealing to the ladies. Well that and I'm sure the baby face and the dimples helped them to overlook his oddly shaped head (trust me I'm not hating. lol). But on the flip side of that his single "24 Hours to Live" Featuring Black Rob, DMX, The Lox, and Puff Daddy, was probably the song that to me to finally gave him a little street credibility. Prior to hearing this song I sort of felt like Mase was just a better version of Puffy. So when I heard him say "I'd even look for my dad that I never knew And show him how I look and my Beretta too," I was shocked yet intrigued since I had heard that Mase's nickname used to be "Murder Mase." Well Regardless of what you thought about Mase, no one could deny the success of Mase's debut which sold over 270,000 in his first week and later went on to go multi-platinum (4x).



With much hype surrounding Mase's 2nd release "Double Up" many had high expectations especially after going quadruple platinum on his first effort. However, skeptics such as myself questioned whether the sophomore jinx would somehow affect Mase. With Double Up's release date set for summer 1999, not even Miss Cleo or Syliva Brown could have predicted what would happen next. About one month before his 2nd album was to drop Mase announces that he's become a born-again Christian and is retiring from Music. In a Bad Boy press release he states
"I'm grateful for all the blessings bestowed on me that were a result of my music career, now it's time for me to serve God in His way. The Lord sends you messages when He's ready and not necessarily when we are." In a separate interview with Jet Magazine, he went on to say "I said the first day I walked into music that I'm not here to be a 30-year-old rapper. I wouldn't be intelligent to think that I would be ... It just so happens that I'm pursuing God, and that's shocking for some people because that's not every body's idea of what I'm like." Even more shocking, his new commitment to God apparently would only allow Mase to make spoken word engagements for the promotion of the Double Up album. Needless to say, the album sales suffered due to this decision, only selling 107,000 in it's first week and only going on to acheive gold status. According to Wikipedia, Mase later ended up moving down south to "Atlanta, GA where he would study at Clark Atlanta University. Mase received an honorary Th.D from St. Paul's Bible Institute in New York and began to address himself as Dr. Mason Betha. He became the founder and pastor of both S.A.N.E. (Saving a Nation Endangered) Church International and Mason Betha Ministries in Atlanta."

Although there were many rumors surrounding Mase's sudden retirement, I think that many believed he would eventually come back to the rap game. I myself (being the skeptic that I am) also remember saying that he will come back. I felt that no one that is this young and making this much money would just walk away from it without valid enough reason. Being a rapper myself I can admit that I would never walk away from it unless I had a good reason. I mean everyone's dream in life is to be able do what you love doing and make money doing it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying religion and dedicating your life to God isn't a good enough reason to quit because it's more than enough. However, for me personally his reasoning didn't help my suspicions at all. So I too came up with my own conspiracy theories as to what may have prompted Mase's early retirement. I will only share one those theories as to avoid any defamation of character lawsuits.

Theory: Despite what they may want us as believe, rappers are not "Ballin!" So although we may saw Mase wearing all kind of diamonds and "bling" in his videos, we can't immediately assume that he was rich because of the success of his one album. Yes Mase did go quadruple platinum and IF he was able to pay back his label aka Puff Daddy he may have had a decent amount of money in his bank account. But in the game of music that's a big IF. Let us not forget that I previously mentioned how some of Mase's singles had some pretty well known samples in them. Keep in mind that all of that money that was paid out by the label for those sample rights have to be paid back by the artist. It's called recouping. Plus, don't about forget the videos, hope that you didn't expect the "shiny suit man" to pay for those suits. So basically, one of my theories is that after going 4x platinum Mase like most rappers probably thought that he was "ballin!" I'm sure that got him a much bigger advance check to hit the studio and work on the next album. Oh yeah and advances have to be paid back as well, so whatever he was advanced for the first album also had to be paid back. However, after those royalty checks began rolling in and the amount he was getting was cut up 5 and 6 ways I'm sure it was a shocker. So, the theory is that he quit because he wasn't seeing the money he expected or was probably promised and thought he could just quit just like that and be out of his contract. (Later we'll see that it doesn't quite work that way). As biggie himself said "that's why my money never funny And you still recoupin, stupid!!"

So, after about a year of retirement, most people (myself included) figured we were wrong about Mase coming back, and the rumors died down. We accepted that Mase was now Pastor Mason Betha and that Murder Mase was gone for good as he now dedicated his life to serving the Lord. Now personally after the first year I pretty much forgot all about Mase. If it weren't for the few reminders given by other rappers who threw Mase in their rhymes, I may have completely forgotten. For instance, Common stated "You better goin to God like Mase did" and Kanye West exclaimed "If you could feel how my face felt you would know how Mase felt." Other than that I personally had no second thoughts about Mase, his retirement and his new occupation as a Pastor. If that was his calling then who am I to say anything about it. God Bless him, his congregation, and his calling. Actually, I remember reading some magazine articles that had interviews with Puffy and he basically said the same thing and wished Mase his best. But as we know Business is never personal, so eventually even Diddy moved on focusing on other rap acts on the label, The Lox and Black Rob. Another determining factor in this decision was that Mase's 2nd album had done nothing close to it's anticipated numbers. I know there had to be one but I personally can't even recall a single from the Double Up album.

So there you have it Mase retires and goes on to serve the Lord, end of story right? Well needless to say, if that was the end of the story then there would be no point in me writing this blog. So of course not! My skepticism served me right to begin with. In 2004, after a five year hiatus from the rap game, Pastor Mase comes back to rapping. Mase's new single and album were ironically titled "Welcome Back." The song sampled the theme song from the 1970's television series "Welcome Back, Kotter." Well when I first heard the news, just like most of you I was somewhat shocked. Then I said to myself "I knew it!!" But finally I thought about why Mase said he originally left the rap game. He said that "the music business was incompatible with the way he wanted to live his life." So now I'm thinking how is rap music now compatible with his new found way of life? What had really changed in 5 years to make the game compatible? Well those questions were simply rhetorical because the answer was nothing had changed. And after hearing the single nothing had really changed about Mase's rapping either. Oh and before I forget to mention it, you better believe that the album was released on Bad Boy Records. As I mentioned before in my conspiracy theory, if Mase thought he was getting out of his contract he should have thought again. Yes five years later and P.Diddy is still waiting to collect on that contract he signed. Now back to the song, to me the beat/sample is what made the song more than anything. All Mase needed to do what come up with two 16 bar verses saying anything and he could have gotten the same response from me. Add a subpar chorus partially sung by Mase, some female and some exploited kids and there you have it a new single by Mase. The video had all the familiar faces from Bad Boy P.Diddy of course, Loon, Ness, Babs, and then Mase doing his signature dances in the video. Seems like the same old Mase right? Well not quite. Don't forget he's a Minister now so he's cleaned up his lyrics. "I'm just a bad boy gone clean, I'm the diamond chain choker, always remain sober don't drink liquor and all the games over." Also, he goes on to state "See I rep the most high, still I'm the most fly I win so much, they wanna know who I'm coached by." And finally, "I make my money man without the coca Livin' la vida without the loca." Wow could it really be that Mase had really changed and planned on bringing a new image to Hip Hop?



In an attempt to not judge Mase I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and not immediately call him a hypocrite for coming back to rap. I mean hey you listened to the lyrics he's changed so, maybe he would be a breath of fresh air to the Hip Hop game. I read some articles that had interviews with Mase and he discussed why he returned to the Rap Game. In fact, during an interview on http://www.askmen.com/ when specifically asked what compelled him to return to the industry Mase responded "I felt like I could be a huge asset to the hip-hop community. It is a genre where everybody is expressing themselves. I felt like I had something else to express that hasn't already been expressed." Also, he was asked how he reconciled doing music and being a minister he stated "What makes it so powerful is that I may not be the first one, but I am the first one doing it the way I am doing it. My situation is different than the ones previously. Most people go to God because they have to. Everything I have ever done is because I wanted to and not because I have to." Finally when asked what to expect on the new album Mase answered "What makes it similar is because I am pretty much talking about the same things, but what makes it different is that I am doing it from a different perspective and from a different mindset." I later heard that the new album would also have no cursing and also no misogynistic lyrics degrading women. Well that's definitely a change and a new Mase. So maybe his calling to God was the spawn of not only a change in Mase but a change in Hip Hop Music with Mase leading the way. As Mase himself stated in the 3rd person "After a soul stirring vision from God, [where I saw] Mase leading souls to hell, the ex-rapper now returns as Pastor Mason Betha, leading souls to Christ."

Well I never purchased or listened to any of the "Welcome Back" album except for the lead single. So, I can't tell you what was on the album nor can I judge it. However, as research shows the single and album did go gold. Well at some point during the promotion of the Welcome Back album I recall hearing rumors that Mase was signing to G-Unit. Yes that would be the same G-Unit that houses such acts as 50 Cent, Young Buck, Lloyd Banks, M.O.P., Mobb Deep, Tony Yayo, and formerly The Game. Now I'm sure you're thinking as I was when I heard this rumor. Why on earth would Pastor Mase be looking to sign to a record label such as G-Unit? Don't they go against everything that he now stood for when it comes to his music and lyrics? The answer is yes of course they do. However, at the time these were only rumors at best. That was until I got to hear a song entitled "300 Shots" which featured all of the artists on G-Unit including none other than (yep you guessed it) our very own Pastor Mase. Now when I heard these lyrics I was just as surprised as most of you were. From the onset Mase starts his verse "You know you messin' with a nigga that do this for a livin' Put two in the street while theres two in the kitchen Put guns in niggaz mouth like "Who's u dissin'?" We give for they knew who u was missin, nigga You can either have a gun at the chain, or one at the brain I have hoes back of the church, hummin' ya name. Even then I feel it's like cheat my men Watch God leave the sky to come and greet my men I pop niggas in the chest they never breathe again." O-M-G this just can't be!! Mase Is back to the old Murder Mase. Speechless yet? Well trust this is pure sarcasm because I definitely was not surprised one bit. I read in an interview from 50 Cent on http://www.vh1.com/ where 50 stated "The new Mase music is going to sound like the old Mase music — the real old Mase music, pre-Bad Boy, when he was named Mase Murda (or Murder Mase)." My question is what happen to the clean lyrics he sold us on when he returned to rapping? I would almost go as far as to call his lyrics blaphemous when he mentions "watch God leave the sky to come and greet my men." Especially when the next line says "I pop niggas in the chest they never breathe again." And we can't forget "I have hoes in the back of the church hummin' ya name." Well if these are the words of a reverand I need not go to church but simply pop in the latest G-Unit release to get my daily bread.


G-Unit - 300 Shots (Mase is 3rd to rap)


So let's quickly recap we go from Rapper to Pastor and back to Rapper. So is this the final chapter for Mase? Well I too assumed that it was. Although I hadn't heard any new material from Mase or G-Unit I didn't think too much of it especially since 50 Cent's "Curtis" album was the last to be released on the label. Well that was until recently during a late night of channel surfing I come across none other than Pastor Mase on tv preaching. Utterly appalled, I was so intrigued that I just had to watch and make sure this wasn't an old sermon that I was watching. So I sat watching Pastor Mase preach. Unfortunately, much like with Mase's music his preaching didn't move me much either. I couldn't help but to picture him as the preacher formerly known as Murder Mase trying to tell me and other's about God. I can't lie I also awaited for him to catch the Holy Ghost and do his signature 2-step. So, as I sat and watched for about 30 minutes it got to the end of the sermon and there I saw Mase and his wife telling people about their ministry and televangalizing. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to call the number on the screen and recite the lyrics from "300 Shots" and ask if this rang a bell? Well after I finished watching the program I called my brother and told him about it and he said he too had seen one of Mase's sermons recently. With that confirmed I guess Mase was back to preaching. So to total the score that would make it tied [Rapping-2 and Preaching-2]. I wonder if Vegas has odds on which will break the tie. But who knows what Mase will do next, maybe acting because he seems to play the role of a rapper turned preacher, turned rapper, turned preacher again pretty damn well.



I know in the end we are all God's children and that he has a purpose for all of us. I also know that we all backslide and fall short of his will. And you better believe I'll be the first to admit that I am no saint and have done my share of bad and good. But I would never take on the role of calling myself a preacher as Mase did and then not live up to what I was called upon to do. Although we all have a responsiblity to ourselves and one another, I feel like in the role of a preacher/minister it is a little greater responsiblity, in that you essentially bare some of the responsibility for the souls of others. So, the words and actions that you say and do are weighed much heavier than the average person. Therefore, I pray that this time Mase will stick with his decision to return to preaching and doing God's work from the Pulpit as opposed to his Murder Mase alter ego with a full clip. However, if you want to know my deep down honest opinion on it all well it rhymes with both full clip and pulpit.



C-Recks