Cereal Killer

So just like any given weekend my son is here with me. I will admit that he's a very picky eater. But he does get it honest. So when breakfast time rolls around and he's given the usual choices for breakfast, you never know what exactly he will choose. Well this morning he chose to have cereal. However, my son chooses to eat his cereal dry no milk. But will take a cup of juice on the side. Don't ask me why, but like I said the boy is a picky eater. Well this morning I decided to join him in a bowl of cereal. But as I was eating I asked myself a question that I have asked before. Am I too old to be eating some damn cereal?

I mean I've never seen any age restrictions on a box of cereal. But this morning as I was eating my cereal, I sat and thought should a grown ass man really be eating Fruity Pebbles? I mean just the name of the cereal alone doesn't sound like anything a grown ass man should be associated with. I guess Fruit Loops fits this same category. LOL. Now that's not necessarily my favorite cereal, but it's what we had in the cupboard at the time. I mean I very rarely will even eat breakfast at all. But the very few times I eat cereal, I will admit that I have a very strange way of eating my cereal. I'll break down how it works.

While most do the typical pour cereal in the bowl and add milk then eat, I choose a different approach. See my main goal in eating cereal is to avoid it getting soggy. I don't know about anyone else but soggy cereal is probably one of the most disgusting things there is. I have never liked it since a kid. I can't even watch someone else eat soggy cereal. And I hated when I got told "You better finish your cereal before you get up from the table" especially after it got soggy. Why someone has not invented a way to keep a cereal from going soggy behooves me to this day. I found this supposed "invention" online called the "New Angle Cereal Bowl" that's supposed to eliminate the cereal from getting soggy. You can watch the video of the commercial for yourself, but it seems very suspect to me. My version of eating cereal does the exact same thing if you ask me.

But anyways I digress. Back to my cereal eating process.

Step 1: Add Milk to bowl.

Step 2: Bring bowl with milk and spoon and box of cereal to table.

Step 3: Pour a small amount of cereal into the milk.

Step 4: Quickly begin to eat the cereal.

Step 5: After cereal in bowl is gone repeat steps 3, 4 and 5 until the milk is all gone.

Again, I admit that it's a weird process to eat a bowl of cereal but it eliminates the chance of it getting soggy. Small amounts of cereal poured in at a time limit this from happening. I will also admit that for this reason, when I eat cereal I don't really get to enjoy it. I feel like it's a race against time. I have to devour what's in the bowl before it gets soggy. This is one of the reasons I choose to eat cereal alone. Well there is another reason, but that is probably equally as strange. For some reason I can not sit and eat cereal with another person. Don't judge me. I will attempt to explain and plead my sanity case a little further. LoL.

I can remember being younger and at breakfast time my brother would sit across from me. But for some reason listening to him eat cereal just got on my damn nerves. I mean I'm so far from being the morning person. Therefore, already waking up being irritated and hearing him slurp down a bowl of cereal made me want to toss my bowl across the table at him. Sorry Bro, but it's true. LoL. If you asked he will probably admit that he felt the exact same about me when it came to cereal eating. I guess cereal is just not a quiet enough food to eat.

Lastly, I'm curious has anyone else ever done this nasty mess here. I remember my bro and I being at my cousins house. Now it was about 4 of them at the time so imagine a house full of 6 kids ranging from ages 5-10. Well when breakfast time came just like all little kids we wanted cereal. Well just like that scene in the movie Friday, we all poured up big bowls of cereal. And of course we go to the fridge for milk and there is none. Well we were all pretty broke in those days and we were told there would be no milk for this breakfast. I can't recall the culprit, but I have a clue. But someone yelled out I'm eating mines with water and proceeded to pour up. WTF? Water? I was going to eat mines dry like my son, but that ruined my entire appetite there. LoL. In an effort to keep the not snitching streak going I won't mention any names.

Well I don't know if me occasionally enjoying a bowl or 5 of cereal constitutes juvenile behavior but if so then it is what it is. If I could enjoy breakfast in bed (which I recently had. ;-) LoL) on the daily with pancakes, eggs, and bacon then I would stray away from cereal. But until then I will surely be enjoying a bowl of cereal every now and then. Not to mention I'm not a milk drinker so eating cereal allows my minimal amount of calcium intake. LoL. In closing gotta give a shout out to a few of my favorites.

Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Trix, Fruit Loops, Honey Comb, and Golden Grahams. Oh and I found this one quite interesting. Obama O's. LoL. It's a damn shame, but someone's probably buying this mess. LoL.

--C-Recks--

I've Got a Job to Do...Doo

I want to apologize in advance for this blog. I have to discuss a subject that I really didn't want to touch. But unfortunately I've fallen victim to this on more than one occasion recently and felt it had to be addressed. I apologize if I'm being just a little gross, but I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever gone through this before. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way let's get right into it. I work a regular 9-5 job like many of you probably do. I don't necessarily enjoy the job but I go to put in my 8 hours and get out of there. I don't like to deal with things at work that I shouldn't have to. For instance, drama, gossip, and this subject I am tackling now.

Imagine this: You've sat diligently at your desk all morning working quietly not bothering anyone keeping to yourself doing your damn job. You've been drinking your beverage of choice off and on all morning (for me it's simply water). Eventually the water starts to settle and fill up your bladder. You want to run to the bathroom but you get stuck on an extended call that can't be interrupted for right now. So as soon as you finish up that call you go running to the bathroom. But no sooner than you open up the door you get hit with it like a punch from Mike Tyson in his prime!!!

Yes that's right the funk from the bathroom has just damn near knocked your ass out like Suge Knight.

WTF?? There are no other bathrooms available, so now you're stuck with 2 choices either damn near piss your pants or hold your breath for the next minute in an attempt to not inhale the toxic scent. So you choose to brave the dreaded Area 51 wishing you had a gas mask. You take a deep breath, run in, quickly handle your business. wash your hands, and run out of the bathroom. You exit feeling like you've been waiting to exhale longer than Terri McMillan. But no sooner than you open the door to come out what happens? Yep you guessed it. Someone is coming in right behind you. Dammit!! Now what's the first thing that they're going to think when they walk in? Yes they are going to think that you're the one that did the terrible deed when in fact, you were simply an innocent victim just as they are about to be. And you just know they're going to say something to someone about the bathroom being funky as hell and they saw you come out last.

Not to put my personal bathroom business out there but I personally have never been comfortable enough to let's say have a seat in the bathroom at work. I understand the concept of when you have to go you have to go but does that really mean just go anywhere? My problem is this. I work in a small office. So in it there are 3 bathrooms. 1 that only the women use, 1 that the few men that work there use, and 1 that's pretty much a uni-sex bathroom. Now keep in mind that these aren't huge bathrooms with stalls and urinals. This is just a simple bathroom. There's a toilet there, a sink and a mirror. So imagine my pain when this situation occurs. It feels like the equivalent of being trapped in the gas chamber. Then just as in the situation I described above someone happens to walk in after me. Of course it so happens I was trapped in the uni-sex bathroom and one of the ladies walks in right after I exit. So great now I'm going to be known as the guy that s**ts at work. And again the same exact scenario has happened to me on more than one occasion so I'm pretty sure by now I have a title or nickname that I have yet to hear.

Here's my problem with the whole thing. It really boils down to respect for your fellow co-workers. I mean who hasn't caught a case of the bubble guts at some point? But see in my case I feel like I'm getting caught up behind a repeat offender. Yep that's right I'm snitchin because much like in the interrogation room they are trying to pin this on me and I'm not taking the wrap for it. Plus I don't even like the lady anyways. LoL. So here's the perpetrator she's an older lady probably late 50's or early 60's, so you know they bowels are probably looser to begin with. But my problem is that she drinks 3-4 cups of coffee every morning. Now come on you should know that coffee can act as a laxative at times. So it's no wonder why she's getting up to use the bathroom all morning. Then next comes lunch time. Now no offense to any one reading that is Hispanic. However, this lady is Hispanic and she usually eats Hispanic food for lunch. You know tacos, enchiladas, beans, rice and what not. Again I'm no expert but beans usually = having to use the bathroom. Now again to each their own. I'm not comfortable doing that but you do you. However, when you get done please warn the next person not to go in after you. You know damn well Lysol Spray or any other aerosol spray is not going to cover up the smell. So either put a sign on the door or at least do like Pops from the movie Friday said "Don't nobody go in there for at least about 35-45 minutes."

Now I've worked at bigger companies before and if you got caught stinking up the bathroom they would actually put you on blast. Even though they had individual stalls in the bathroom, as you know it's never hard to tell [at least for a man] when he's doing #2. So you better believe they would notice who's shoes were dangling under the stall and come back and tell on you just like Ezel from the movie Friday. "Smokey back there taking a S**t!!!"

In conclusion, I again apologize for addressing a rather gross subject. But I had to speak on it. And if you're one of these individuals that stink up the bathroom at work and let someone else take the blame for the horrible smell. Well all I have to say is shame on you. And I hope that the next time you get caught in the bathroom with only 1 square of tissue left. Let's see if you fess up then as you're begging for someone to spare a square. LoL.

--C-Recks--

We All Scream!!

So this past weekend I was at the Park with my Son. It's sort of a hot day out but not too bad in the shade. So we're at the corner end of the park and we hear that old familiar music playing. As soon as we hear it both of our ears piqued and we look at each other. Almost simultaneously we both say it. "ICE CREAM MAN!!" So I looked around and saw that the Ice Cream Truck was actually a good distance away. We would have had to run (I would run at least and he would ride his bike) to make it there before he left. As I stated it was hot so I told my son we're gonna miss it this time but I promised him that we'll make sure we get some ice cream the next time. Ironically, he was okay with that and we continued to play.

So, the following day my son and I find ourselves at the park once again. Of course we were playing the usual baseball, soccer, riding his bike, etc. As we're playing we hear that familiar sound of the Ice Cream Man driving past again. With the elephant memory my son has he quickly tells me "hey daddy there's the ice cream man remember you said you would get me one next time." Of course I hadn't forgotten it was only the day before when I made this promise. So I told him yes I remember and he's right there so we can get some ice cream this time. We proceed walk over to the ice cream truck and while standing in front of it I ask my son what he wants. He points to the picture of what he wants on the board (Image 1). I tell the man in the truck what he wants and he goes into the freezer, gets it, and hands it to my son. Then I tell him I want a strawberry shortcake bar (Image 2).

(1)

(2)

Well I'll be damned if the guy in the truck doesn't hand me my ice cream bar then say $5. I know the saying goes "We all scream for Ice Cream," but if my son wasn't standing there I would have screamed out WTF? (What The F**K for those that aren't familiar with the acronym). However, I caught myself and instead just said "What? $5?" Yes I sounded just like that character Chris Rock Played. Only thing missing was the "Good Lawd that's a lot of money." In true Chris Rock fashion I was tempted to say how bout you keep the cream and just give me the ice for $1. LoL. So I asked the man how much was each ice cream and he proceeds to tell me $2.50 each. I said $2.50 are you serious? I quickly handed my ice cream back to the man. My son immediately asked me "why did you give it back daddy?" I was about to do the same with my son's ice cream, that was until I looked at his face and I could tell he was ready to devour it. I just couldn't do it to him especially after I promised and he had already held it in hand. Plus when I looked at his it was the larger than normal size bomb pop. Whereas, the ice cream bar they handed me was just the regular size. Not to say it was worth $2.50 but I was willing to compromise. Alright go ahead and call me a push over, but I'd like to see you look into that little face and take away his ice cream on a hot day like that. I'm not that damn cruel. LoL. So, I paid the man the $2.50 and walked off.

Being the inquisitive little boy that my son is (he gets it honest) he again asked "why didn't you get anything daddy?" So before he can start running through possible reasons which he is known to do, I tell him that it was too expensive. He then accepts the answer and proceeds to devour the American Flag colored ice cream. He even asked me "How come no one else got any ice cream?" I answered probably because they knew the price and I was the only idiot to fall fall victim. As I said that another man there with his children walked past and I heard him snicker at my answer. Well as he ate the ice cream I watched as his mouth quickly turns a bright shade of red. He then hands me the ice cream and says hold this daddy you can eat some since it's melting then runs off to go play some more. So I'm sitting there holding a $2.50 ice cream bar watching pennies go to waste with each melting drip. What do I do? Well as not to waste money I do as my son told me and start to eat the ice cream before it completely melts. But all the while I'm thinking about the last time I bought one of those ice cream bars I wanted. It had to be a long time ago but even still I can't recall paying more than $1.25 for it. I mean in some bars I can get a pint of ice cold beer for $2.50. So my question is are times really that hard? Where the local ice cream man is ripping kids off like Big Worm from Friday?

Well I just couldn't let it go. So I had to come home and do some research to find out what was the price of a box of these ice cream bars. http://www.maxdelivery.com/nkz/exec/Product/Display?productId=260059709 As you can see the price of a box of 6 is only $4.89. Even after the new snake ass Cook County sales tax [10.25% The Highest in the country] that's is still only a total of $5.40. Which divided by 6 ice cream bars is only $0.90 cents each. That is the non-sale price. However, some times you can catch a decent buy one get one free sale at the local grocery store. Now I do understand that the ice cream man provides a convenience and therefore should be paid for that service. I mean he's right there with cold ice cream on that hot summer day so you don't have to drive to the store. Also, I know that gas is expensive as hell and to drive around the neighborhoods at 2 miles an hour [like Fresh Prince] stopping and going I'm sure burns a lot of gas. And I know it's gotta be hot inside the truck with the deep freezer in there and that with that side window open they most likely can't have the air conditioner on. But even with all that considered, to make $1.60 per ice cream bar is just highway robbery. The fact that they're ripping off kids makes it even worse. What's next? Chuck E. Cheese charging $20 entry fee and a 2 drink minimum? I mean come on what's the most you as a parent will give your kid to get something from the ice cream truck? I would say $1-$2 at most. So imagine if I sent my son there himself with $2 and he came back like daddy it's not enough. Back in the days our parents could send us to the ice cream truck with $1.00 and we'd come back with 2 ice creams and some candy. If this is the new trend for ice cream trucks I feel for the kids of today. When you can't take a few quarters and run outside when you hear the sound of the ice cream truck, but rather have to break open your piggy bank times are really bad.

But speaking of ice cream trucks and back in the day I'll close this with what is probably the most traumatizing story about ice cream ever. I'll try to make this as short as possible. Alright so I'm about 6 years old which would make my brother 8 and my 2 cousins Trice 7 and Kita 5. It was summer time and all the kids were out playing. Well the ice cream man happen to make a stop in the apartment complex that day. So, we all ran into the house to ask for money for the ice cream man. My mom and my aunt Mel aka Marilyn (Trice and Kita's mom) and my other aunt Phyl were in the house. As we all ran in asking for money for the ice cream they didn't hesitate to give us the money. However, Aunt Mel gave them the money with specific instructions to bring her change back. She may have given them about $2 I think. My brother and I got $1 to split. After receiving the money we all ran off to the ice cream truck. After standing in line we all got our respective ice cream bars. As I stated, prior the inflationary price increase of ice cream $1 could buy 2 ice cream bars. I don't recall what ice creams everyone bought but whatever my cousins got they had approximately $0.50 cent in change left over.

So as we're all sitting there enjoying our ice cream there was a boy that we all knew that had no ice cream. Well he proceeded to ask us if we had $0.50 cent he could have/borrow. As you know my brother and I had exact change so we had nothing to spare. But my cousins had the 2 shiny quarters. Don't ask me how or why but my brother goes and convinces my cousins to give the change to this boy. This amongst other incidents could be the root of my brother and cousin not getting along to this day. Lol. Now it seems like an innocent action and you're probably thinking it's only 50 cent what's the big deal? Well that is because you don't know Marilyn Williams. Next, we all begin to walk home as the boy proceeds to buy his ice cream. As we walked into the house all of us had a mouthful of ice cream. But as sure as sun rises and sets the first thing out of Aunt Mel's mouth was "where's my change?"

We all immediately stopped in our tracks and looked at each other and got quiet for about a minute. Finally my cousin Trice fessed up that they had given the money to a boy for some ice cream. The next thing I know there are F-Bombs and other expletives coming out of her mouth faster than a machine gun shoots bullets. Without having to put a parental warning on this blog I can't go into detail. But something along the lines of "why the F*&k did you give my money to some boy?" would be pretty accurate. So as we all stood there what would happen next would be stuck in my mind forever. After the verbal onslaught she gave, she then grabbed one of my cousins ice cream and wound up like Roger Clemens style and the next thing I know the ice cream slams up against the kitchen wall. BAM!!! Then she grabs my other cousins and it quickly meets the same fate as the first. I was utterly shocked, afraid, and prepared to lose my ice cream next. However, much to my surprise it didn't happen. She stopped at the 2 ice creams, and immediately demanded my cousins to clean up the mess. I remember my brother and I later finishing our ice cream of course out of the sight of our cousins. But I can't for the life of my imagine what would have caused my aunt to snap like that over 50 cent (in change not the rapper if it was Curtis Jackson maybe I could understand). However, I'm sure that if I think long and hard that there was an empty bottle of Sutter Home somewhere in the room.

Luckily for us (me, my bro, and cousins) ice cream prices back then were not as they are presently. I mean if she did all of that over 50 cent then I can't even fathom what may have taken place if she had just paid $5 for two ice cream bars. Lastly, the $2.50 I spent on the ice cream was already bad enough. But if you take a look at the picture below you'll see that my son's nice bright yellow shirt (I know the sidekick camera doesn't do the yellow any justice) quickly turned to yellow with green spots. You see the packaging from the ice cream wasn't even strong enough to hold the blue liquid in the bottom. So the blue part of the ice cream quickly blended with yellow to leave green spots on the shirt. I don't give a damn how much I Shout that stain is not coming out. So there you have it go ahead and add another $5-7 to my $2.50 for one ruined shirt. Basically an ice cream bar cost me close to $10. All I know is that if I happen to see this particular ice cream man again I may be liable to turn into my aunt an hurl something at his truck.

--C-Recks--