We've all done it. Tripped, and immediately looked around to see if anyone saw us. As a guy, you pray that you won't turn around and see the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life.
(And to the Man that has, I feel terrible for you. Holla at me, the next round is on me).
Well, I saw the most extreme example of that today. And it got me to thinking, why do we all fall victim to what I will call:
Now surprisingly, its not contagious. Either you have it or you're immune. But I must say that finding someone without it is as rare as a gay Man with a Playboy subscription. (I guess in his case, it really is for the articles. Lol).
Here's why so many of us suffer from
(Or as I will call it for the remainder of the blog, IDWATSMFI). BAD ASS KIDS!!!!!!!!!! (Think Nelson from the Simpsons. "HaHa"). Now you may ask yourself, how do Bad ass kids factor into this? I didn't see any Bad ass kids around the last time I tripped, and I still felt my IDWATSMFI flaring up. Well those Bad ass kids that we worry about are not actual adolescents, they are a part of what exists within most of us. And they just need the right moment to emerge from within all us. Well, my inner Bad ass kid emerged yesterday.
In the interest of not snitching, some elements of the story have been changed to protect the DUMBASS!
I was driving down a freeway here in the United States that has a couple 1s in the number. Now, there may or may not have been construction going at the time. (Stop Snitchin ya'll, this is how you do it). Well, I'm on this unnamed freeway, when I happened to look to my right, and noticed a mode of transportation coming up at a high rate of speed. (Could've been a car, or a horse with a full head of steam. Again in the spirit of not snitchin, you use your imagination). Now, this mode of transportation disappeared in front of the vehicle in front of me. Next thing I know, the vehicle in front of me slams on the brakes. I too slam on the brakes. Suddenly, the unnamed mode of transportation hit what could have been a construction barrier or fence for horses to jump. (Are ya'll understanding how to not snitch yet? Vagueness). It comes back into traffic and rests on the on ramp. As we are all sitting there waiting to see if the person is alright, the mode of transportation takes off. (I guess that's why they call it horsepower).
Now this mode of transportation is showing definite signs of trauma from this impact, but this individual is going full steam ahead. I'm traveling at a reduced rate of speed, stunned by the fact that this person is still moving. And it wasn't just me, I could see the faces of many people in their vehicles. Some laughing, others with looks of settled anxiety. Well intelligent people, needless to say, that person didn't make it far. A couple miles down, there he was on the side of the road. (Either the car stopped working, or the horse needed a drink of water. You be the judge).
Well, as I passed him, my inner Bad ass kid came out. I looked at him, and had to smile. Instantly, I understood why the guy took off. He was trying to avoid having to expose himself to the very same people who saw his calamity.
So why the extreme? Why do we as grown ass adults care so much? Well, I believe that as children, we all probably fell into one of two categories. Either you were the kid who got teased, or you were the kid doing the teasing. And no matter what side of it you were on, that experience has inevitably put you on guard. Every time you trip, slip, have food that falls out of your mouth, drool, you are just hoping to not have to suffer the torment of someone's inner Bad ass kid.
I don't believe there will ever be a cure to IDWATSMFI. I'm sure that as you were reading this, your inner bad ass kid had a laugh or two. Lets just say that we just had a discussion of one of life's dirty secrets. And to the guy who I saw on that unnamed freeway, that shit was funny as
hell Man. I saw it all!