Ain't Life A Snitch?????

"Jose Canseco just snitchin because he finish"
Hustlin by Rick Ross


Since we were kids, we were always told that "nobody likes a tattle tale". In 2004, that was taken to a new level. In Baltimore, Maryland, a dvd entitled "Stop Snitchin" was released. In it, local drug dealers, and even then rookie NBA player Carmelo Anthony, railed against individuals who cooperated with authorities. (Anthony later renounced his involvement and claimed that it was all just a joke). Though the "Stop Snitchin" campaign has remained controversial, the undercurrents of it are still present in our society. I have never "snitched" to the police, however I am conflicted on the whole process. In this blog, I want to debate the merits of snitchin. For both the snitch, and those who have been snitched on.

Jose Canseco was a great baseball player who burst onto the scene in 1986, winning the Rookie of the Year award. In 1989, with his fellow "Bash Brother" Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco helped lead his Oakland A's to a World Series title. He was also the first person in Major League Baseball history to hit 40 homeruns, and steal 40 bases in the same major league season. (The feat for which Jay-Z's 40/40 club is named). Canseco was on top of the world. But as his superstar status turned into mediocre status, Canseco bounced around from team to team. Finally in 2001, Canseco called it a career. Not so much because he no longer had the ability to play Major League Baseball, but in his opinion he was being blacklisted. See Jose had a secret. And he believed that Owners and Major League Baseball officials didn't want him to reach certain milestones that would enhance his chances of being enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Canseco decided that he would exact his revenge against Major League Baseball by outing those players in the league whom he either did steroids with, saw doing steroids, or in some cases introduced steroids to. In his book "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big", Canseco tells of personally injecting with steroids such Major Leaguers as the afore mentioned Mark McGwire, Juan Gonzalez, Ivan Rodriguez, and Rafael Palmeiro. He also speculated on probable steroid use by Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds. This book was a revelation for some, and just confirmation for others. Either way, Canseco solidified himself as a pariah within the Major League Baseball community. Canseco's book even lead to Congressional hearings on the Steroid matter.

As a huge baseball fan, I actually supported Jose Canseco "snitchin". Not so much that I felt Steroids were ruining baseball, hell I rooted with half of America for Sammy Sosa to break the single season homerun record. So for me to get on my moral high horse now would be disingenuous. The part about Canseco snitchin that bothered me was that it came purely from a place of revenge. If Canseco just felt compelled to do the right thing, I could understand much better. But Canseco was after blood, and it appeared that he would have sold out his mother in order to achieve vindication.

Now three years after his book release, Canseco seems to have had a change of heart. In a one hour documentary shown on the A&E network, Canseco says that he regrets naming individuals as steroid users. He says that the fire that his book started went way beyond what he ever expected. In my opinion, that's crap. Canseco knew exactly what he was doing. He knew just where his book would lead. Major League Baseball banned Pete Rose for gambling on baseball, and the members of the 1919 Chicago White Sox, or Black Sox as they are known, are still considered banned from Baseball for throwing the 1919 World Series. So where as I could give Canseco some credit for having the guts to come out and speak about rampant steroid use, even if with ulterior motives, I can give him zero credit for going back on it and saying that he had no idea it would lead to this kind of reaction.

What can be said about O.J. Simpson that hasn't already been said? Probably nothing, but I won't let that stop me from speaking my two cents. I found the most recent Simpson trial to be absolutely hilarious. Partly because of the fact that this fool gave the authorities a second chance to fry him, but mostly because of the way he was taken down. In case you've been in a coma for the past year, let me give you a quick recap of the events that took place. O.J., and several other men burst into a room at the Palace Station Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, in order to retrieve memorabilia that O.J. felt was stolen from him. Within hours of the "heist", all the participants were taken into custody. And that's when the fun really began.



In a high stakes game of CYA, O.J.'s co-defendants began cutting deals with the Clark County prosecutors to testify. One of those considered particularly damning to O.J. was Walter Alexander. As stated in this CBS interview, Walter Alexander was a golfing buddy and friend of O.J.'s. As Alexander states, he met O.J. in 1995. Now that is peculiar to me given that O.J. spent the majority of 1995 in the Los Angeles County Jail. My first question is, who befriends an alleged killer fresh out of jail? Well that friendship was quickly abandoned once Walter realized he was potentially facing life in prison for his involvement in the heist in Vegas. Walter testified on behalf the prosecution.

This particular example of snitchin is probably the most common. Its someone who looks at the given situation and says, "shit, I'm not going to jail for him." Much more than in the Jose Canseco situation, I can understand why Walter made the choice he did. While I have some serious questions as to why he would even involve himself with an individual such as O.J., he figured that self preservation was his best choice. I'm sure that given his life as an "alleged pimp," as described by the Associated Press, Walter will have plenty of explaining to do with some individuals from his past. The AP also reported that Walter got a revelation from God telling him to take the plea. Now I'm not one to question anyone's personal relationship with God, but I have to wonder if that was really God speaking to him, or his common sense kicking in? I mean, wouldn't God have gotten in his ear long before Walter was faced with the "difficult" choice of to snitch or not to snitch? (That is the question). I'm guessing God maybe would have spoken to him in 1995 and said "This guy is bad news. Stay as far away from him as you can". Or hell, maybe even further back and said "Pimping is not the way".

To anyone who reads this, and still doesn't quite understand the dilemma some individuals face when it comes to snitchin, there is a television show that will put it in blunt terms for you. Its the First 48, shown on A&E. This show follows detectives in the homicide division as they try to solve murders in cities such as Memphis, Miami, and Dallas. I'd say that this show shines a spotlight, no, make that a flood light on two major components of life. Number one, some crimes are even more senseless than we could ever imagine, and number two, to me, is that the whole "Stop Snitchin" campaign is an abject failure. Why do I say that? Well once an individual gets inside that interrogation room, it takes a strong man, or woman, to ignore the reality of the circumstances he or she is facing. I've seen a lot of episodes of this show, and if there's 25 percent of people who come into that room and don't do some form of snitchin, I'd be surprised.

Most times it seems to be people who want to tell about their minuscule role in the crime, and lay blame at the feet of some friend of theirs. The interesting part they fail to realize is that while telling on their friend, they're sealing their own fate in the process. I recall an episode from Dallas in which a coach of some kind was murdered. The detectives had finally caught someone that they felt was involved in the crime. After some coaxing, the detectives asked the young man, somewhere between 16-19 as I recall, to admit that their intent was to rob the individual, and name the person who did the actual shooting. The young man thought about it, and admitted that he was only there to help with the robbery. The other individual was the one who pulled the trigger. Well at that very instant, this young man sealed his fate. See, in the state of Texas, a murder during the commission of another crime such as kidnapping or robbery, is automatic grounds for the death penalty. (Its what they call special circumstances in some places). Even though this particular young man didn't pull the trigger, had no knowledge that his friend was going to kill this man, his mere involvement in the robbery made him just as culpable. The moral is that when you're snitchin, you might want to have a lawyer present to protect you interests. The police have a job to do, and they don't really distinguish between those who are only 25% at fault versus 100% at fault.

Snitchin has been going on forever. Wherever there is an advantage to be had, an individual will tell all he knows in the interest of self preservation. The code of silence is not as hard to break as it once was. People have too much to lose these days. So if you want to get away with murder, probably literally and figuratively, you might not want to involve the Walter Alexander's of the world in your cockamamie schemes. Because as the GZA put it "I got ya back, so you best to watch your front, cause its the niggaz who front who be pullin stunts".


-DrizaDre-

I've Got a Job to Do...Doo

I want to apologize in advance for this blog. I have to discuss a subject that I really didn't want to touch. But unfortunately I've fallen victim to this on more than one occasion recently and felt it had to be addressed. I apologize if I'm being just a little gross, but I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever gone through this before. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way let's get right into it. I work a regular 9-5 job like many of you probably do. I don't necessarily enjoy the job but I go to put in my 8 hours and get out of there. I don't like to deal with things at work that I shouldn't have to. For instance, drama, gossip, and this subject I am tackling now.

Imagine this: You've sat diligently at your desk all morning working quietly not bothering anyone keeping to yourself doing your damn job. You've been drinking your beverage of choice off and on all morning (for me it's simply water). Eventually the water starts to settle and fill up your bladder. You want to run to the bathroom but you get stuck on an extended call that can't be interrupted for right now. So as soon as you finish up that call you go running to the bathroom. But no sooner than you open up the door you get hit with it like a punch from Mike Tyson in his prime!!!

Yes that's right the funk from the bathroom has just damn near knocked your ass out like Suge Knight.

WTF?? There are no other bathrooms available, so now you're stuck with 2 choices either damn near piss your pants or hold your breath for the next minute in an attempt to not inhale the toxic scent. So you choose to brave the dreaded Area 51 wishing you had a gas mask. You take a deep breath, run in, quickly handle your business. wash your hands, and run out of the bathroom. You exit feeling like you've been waiting to exhale longer than Terri McMillan. But no sooner than you open the door to come out what happens? Yep you guessed it. Someone is coming in right behind you. Dammit!! Now what's the first thing that they're going to think when they walk in? Yes they are going to think that you're the one that did the terrible deed when in fact, you were simply an innocent victim just as they are about to be. And you just know they're going to say something to someone about the bathroom being funky as hell and they saw you come out last.

Not to put my personal bathroom business out there but I personally have never been comfortable enough to let's say have a seat in the bathroom at work. I understand the concept of when you have to go you have to go but does that really mean just go anywhere? My problem is this. I work in a small office. So in it there are 3 bathrooms. 1 that only the women use, 1 that the few men that work there use, and 1 that's pretty much a uni-sex bathroom. Now keep in mind that these aren't huge bathrooms with stalls and urinals. This is just a simple bathroom. There's a toilet there, a sink and a mirror. So imagine my pain when this situation occurs. It feels like the equivalent of being trapped in the gas chamber. Then just as in the situation I described above someone happens to walk in after me. Of course it so happens I was trapped in the uni-sex bathroom and one of the ladies walks in right after I exit. So great now I'm going to be known as the guy that s**ts at work. And again the same exact scenario has happened to me on more than one occasion so I'm pretty sure by now I have a title or nickname that I have yet to hear.

Here's my problem with the whole thing. It really boils down to respect for your fellow co-workers. I mean who hasn't caught a case of the bubble guts at some point? But see in my case I feel like I'm getting caught up behind a repeat offender. Yep that's right I'm snitchin because much like in the interrogation room they are trying to pin this on me and I'm not taking the wrap for it. Plus I don't even like the lady anyways. LoL. So here's the perpetrator she's an older lady probably late 50's or early 60's, so you know they bowels are probably looser to begin with. But my problem is that she drinks 3-4 cups of coffee every morning. Now come on you should know that coffee can act as a laxative at times. So it's no wonder why she's getting up to use the bathroom all morning. Then next comes lunch time. Now no offense to any one reading that is Hispanic. However, this lady is Hispanic and she usually eats Hispanic food for lunch. You know tacos, enchiladas, beans, rice and what not. Again I'm no expert but beans usually = having to use the bathroom. Now again to each their own. I'm not comfortable doing that but you do you. However, when you get done please warn the next person not to go in after you. You know damn well Lysol Spray or any other aerosol spray is not going to cover up the smell. So either put a sign on the door or at least do like Pops from the movie Friday said "Don't nobody go in there for at least about 35-45 minutes."

Now I've worked at bigger companies before and if you got caught stinking up the bathroom they would actually put you on blast. Even though they had individual stalls in the bathroom, as you know it's never hard to tell [at least for a man] when he's doing #2. So you better believe they would notice who's shoes were dangling under the stall and come back and tell on you just like Ezel from the movie Friday. "Smokey back there taking a S**t!!!"

In conclusion, I again apologize for addressing a rather gross subject. But I had to speak on it. And if you're one of these individuals that stink up the bathroom at work and let someone else take the blame for the horrible smell. Well all I have to say is shame on you. And I hope that the next time you get caught in the bathroom with only 1 square of tissue left. Let's see if you fess up then as you're begging for someone to spare a square. LoL.

--C-Recks--

Black Ice

We've all done it. Tripped, and immediately looked around to see if anyone saw us. As a guy, you pray that you won't turn around and see the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life.


(And to the Man that has, I feel terrible for you. Holla at me, the next round is on me).


Well, I saw the most extreme example of that today. And it got me to thinking, why do we all fall victim to what I will call:

"Idon'twantanyonetoseemefallitis."

Now surprisingly, its not contagious. Either you have it or you're immune. But I must say that finding someone without it is as rare as a gay Man with a Playboy subscription. (I guess in his case, it really is for the articles. Lol).

Here's why so many of us suffer from

"idontwantanyonetoseemefallitis."

(Or as I will call it for the remainder of the blog, IDWATSMFI). BAD ASS KIDS!!!!!!!!!! (Think Nelson from the Simpsons. "HaHa"). Now you may ask yourself, how do Bad ass kids factor into this? I didn't see any Bad ass kids around the last time I tripped, and I still felt my IDWATSMFI flaring up. Well those Bad ass kids that we worry about are not actual adolescents, they are a part of what exists within most of us. And they just need the right moment to emerge from within all us. Well, my inner Bad ass kid emerged yesterday.

In the interest of not snitching, some elements of the story have been changed to protect the DUMBASS!

I was driving down a freeway here in the United States that has a couple 1s in the number. Now, there may or may not have been construction going at the time. (Stop Snitchin ya'll, this is how you do it). Well, I'm on this unnamed freeway, when I happened to look to my right, and noticed a mode of transportation coming up at a high rate of speed. (Could've been a car, or a horse with a full head of steam. Again in the spirit of not snitchin, you use your imagination). Now, this mode of transportation disappeared in front of the vehicle in front of me. Next thing I know, the vehicle in front of me slams on the brakes. I too slam on the brakes. Suddenly, the unnamed mode of transportation hit what could have been a construction barrier or fence for horses to jump. (Are ya'll understanding how to not snitch yet? Vagueness). It comes back into traffic and rests on the on ramp. As we are all sitting there waiting to see if the person is alright, the mode of transportation takes off. (I guess that's why they call it horsepower).

Now this mode of transportation is showing definite signs of trauma from this impact, but this individual is going full steam ahead. I'm traveling at a reduced rate of speed, stunned by the fact that this person is still moving. And it wasn't just me, I could see the faces of many people in their vehicles. Some laughing, others with looks of settled anxiety. Well intelligent people, needless to say, that person didn't make it far. A couple miles down, there he was on the side of the road. (Either the car stopped working, or the horse needed a drink of water. You be the judge).

Well, as I passed him, my inner Bad ass kid came out. I looked at him, and had to smile. Instantly, I understood why the guy took off. He was trying to avoid having to expose himself to the very same people who saw his calamity.

So why the extreme? Why do we as grown ass adults care so much? Well, I believe that as children, we all probably fell into one of two categories. Either you were the kid who got teased, or you were the kid doing the teasing. And no matter what side of it you were on, that experience has inevitably put you on guard. Every time you trip, slip, have food that falls out of your mouth, drool, you are just hoping to not have to suffer the torment of someone's inner Bad ass kid.

I don't believe there will ever be a cure to IDWATSMFI. I'm sure that as you were reading this, your inner bad ass kid had a laugh or two. Lets just say that we just had a discussion of one of life's dirty secrets. And to the guy who I saw on that unnamed freeway, that shit was funny as
hell Man. I saw it all!


--drizadre--