Wednesday, February 18, 2009

First Comes Baby, Then Comes Marriage?

I am a father. Yes my babygirl was born premature, and only lived for one day, but in the 5 and a half months her mother was pregnant, I knew that being a father was absolutely NO JOKE! Unfortunately, it seems as though the responsibility of being a parent has become somewhat of a joke. The most glaring example is the "Octomom" Nadya Suleman. The Octomom is the woman in Los Angeles who, though she already had six children, decided that it would be an ingenious idea to implant herself with eight embryos. Yes, I understand that in-vitro fertilization is not an exact science, but lo and behold, all eight embryos were viable and survived to their birth. So now this woman has 14 children.

If that weren't bad enough, Ms. Suleman is an unemployed single mother living with her parents. Children are expensive as hell. No, I didn't get the opportunity to spoil my babygirl, but I have had a front row seat to spoiling of my nephew. (My brother's son). Boy, oh boy. I always crack jokes with my brother and say that the reason he might not have any more kids is because he can't afford any more. And that's just one. Multiply that times 14. How the hell does this woman expect to raise those children on her humble unemployed salary? I know, set up a website, and ask people for donations! If reaching out to the public at large is your major means of supporting your children, maybe you don't need children!

Since then her website has been shut down. This fact was not a publicized event. I believe that she probably wasn't really raising that much money. Would you donate money to her? Even if I had the money available, I wouldn't give her shit. I consider myself very charitable, but why should I feel guilty for the fact that there's a woman who's so irresponsible that she "chose" to give birth to more children than her finances could afford her? Personally, I believe this woman is mentally unstable. When we first heard this story, I'm sure that many of you thought she probably did this for the publicity. Though that may have been a part of her motivation, I think its more so that she's just crazy. Some crazy people talk to themselves, others have hallucinations, this woman, for some reason, continues to have more children. I wish those children the best. Due to my experience with my daughter, I know that their recovery will be long, and tedious. I pray that the neonatal care that they receive is top notch. Unfortunately, I don't believe this is the last that we'll hear of this story.

Now from the ridiculous to the sublime. I turned on the television yesterday, and watched a news story about a 13 year old boy who is now a father. The first thing that I thought was "you have got to be shittin me"! I'm 30 years old now. 13 wasn't that long ago, so I can vividly remember that age. When I was 13, what was important to me was kickin it with my friends, and playing my new Sega Genesis. Don't get me wrong, I was into girls. Hell, I think at 13, I saw, and touched, my first live breast. (And I've been hooked ever since. Lol). But sex? Not even in the top 10 things of importance in my life. Yes I wanted another sibling at that time, but a child of my own, HELL NO!

video

The boy got a 15 year old girl pregnant, so this wasn't an illegal circumstance per se. But this situation is just obscenely ridiculous. Apparently young Alfie, the 13 year old, was rarely attending school. And as we all know, children who don't go to school find other, more dangerous things, to get themselves into. Unfortunately, now, Alfie has given up his childhood, and also put the life of another child in jeopardy.

I know that you can only do so much as a parent. No parent can be with their child 24 hours a day. But its imperative that we teach our children about the consequences of the decisions that they make. Unfortunately you have these very same children looking at people like Jaime Lynn Spears (Britney Spear's little sister), and Bristol Palin (Governor Palin's 17 year old daughter) and recognizing the kind of attention that they're receiving. And actually, to a larger degree, they're seeing "adults" like Nadya Suleman, and all the attention that they receive for what everyone knows is irresponsible behavior. Children are a blessing. And the sooner we get back to treating them as such, instead of an accessory like a new purse or a nice pair of earrings, the sooner we can begin to improve the status of our American families.

-DrizaDre-

24 comments:

*V* said...

Good blog, I agree that "Octomom" is certifiable...just watching her interview was frightening. And to know she thinks that she's not on welfare, despite receiving food stamps and SSI for three of her kids - yeah she definitely needs mental help.

I really think we can point the finger of children as a trendy accessory straight at celebrities and the media. They may have good intentions and the means to support their kids but adopting a child from every impoverished country in the world and then talking about it on every entertainment show under the sun only encourages insane people like Octomom to believe they too, can have a brood, and get enough publicity and free stuff to support all these beautiful babies who had no choice in being brought into their situation....

Untouched Jewel said...

Driza, I so feel you on this! Now as far as "Octomom" is concerned, I have not a thing to say. I just SMH. Now as far as the young children you speak about being young parents at a young age, I was one of them. Sure I may have been 19 when I gave birth to my oldest son, but I was still YOUNG. And being a parent is no joke. People who have too many babies or are young parents don't seem to realize that with parenthood, comes great responsibility. When I found out I was pregnant, I had to step to the learning curve quickly, because I knew the rest of my young adult life would be spent raising my children. I knew that because of me committing adult acts would come the adult responsibility of taking care of another life, I stepped up to that responsibility instead of taking what I believe to be "The Punk way out" (abortion). Don't get me wrong, I don't knock someone else doing it... to each his or her own, but as for me, it wasn't happening.
Again, your points were very valid, and people must take the sacredness of having children and marriage into consideration. At least get married before poppin out babies. How I wished I stuck to my goal of getting married first before children... long gone are them days.

Amber-Alert said...

actually u got ur stories mixed up...the 13 year old ur talkin bout got another 13 year old girl pregnant and they had a lil girl. the boy who got the 15 year old pregnant still stands as britains youngest father he was 12 and she was 15 when when she gave birth. his name is sean stewart.

anyway both stories are ridiculous ...a few years ago a girl around my way got pregnant she was 12 and i think the guy was like 30...at the time i said that i would forced her to get an abortion if i were her parents. now i have a daughter of my own and i dont kno how the hell i would handle this situation...someones balls would be getting chopped off tho i do kno that lol

Amber ♥. said...

It saddens me that people do use their kids as if they are an accessory. Especially these kids in high school. I graduated in 2006 and more than half of the girls in my class had babies in the audience clapping as their mommies received their diploma. We had "mommy clicks" all the girls with kids hung out. Looking stupid to me. I'm 21 and people will come to me and say, dang girl you still don't have any kids?" Like wdf am i supposed to?
Obama needs to hurry and lower the cost of health care so all these females in hit can get birth control. He damn near needs to be mandatory. Great post. And im sorry about your daughter.

JKisz said...

The little "Octomom" is definitely out of her mind. I don't understand why she would put herself and even worse HER CHILDREN in that kind of situation. Unemployed, living with mom and she has 14 children. I don't think people realize how much responsibility raising a child is. That's a really big thing. You can't just have a child and expect them to take care of themselves. It's not that easy. But this whole situation irritates me. I can go on and on about it but I don't feel like it lol. As far as the little boy goes..Idk what's going on there. That's just..smh. Because in the end, those kids' parents are gonna end up being the ones taking care of that child if adoption hasn't already been discussed. So they got the easy way out regardless. I honestly think parents need to COMMUNICATE and teach their kids about things like this instead of relying on "the media" or other people to do it for them.

Confused Luv said...

The octomom story has saddened me from day one. This what brings people to question a woman's right to reproduce. The ethical implications of implanting 8 embryos into a woman who already had 6 children is crazy!!! The people who suffer in the end are the children. You should never have children out of your own need to feel a void. Then people wonder why I kids are so jacked up these days.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I hate the whole situation with nadya...what I hate the most is that I don't think she will ever go away! lol. Every few months (I guarentee) there will be an update on her and her children :( how great...

Princess Katrina said...

I am so sorry about your loss! Let your memories make you stronger!! Shes a beautiful angel in heaven now!

About Octomom...I dont get it. I'm all about having kids, I absolutely adore them, but if I couldnt afford even one child, I would not go and artificially inseminate myself and have 8!

Its crazy. If she wants to be like Angelina so bad....she should find a Brad! These kids have no daddy figure around.

She knew she would get media attention for it, thats all its about. Its sad. One of those poor kids (one of the older ones) has autism, and I'm sure she can't afford the proper attention to that child that it needs.

Princess Katrina said...

P.S. my brothers, the link to Post Comments is the same color as the background...I had a hard time finding it. Maybe its my browser...but if not, check on that.

Sheliza said...

what the hell is the world coming to?? I share your same thoughts on the octomom. As for the other 2, I can't imagine what a 13 year old boy... nevermind, I feel ill! Good post though :)

Jillian said...

I agree..the whole octomom thing..it's sad...and she's dillusional..as far as these young kids having kids..

I don't think it's about realizing that having children is a blessing...but I think it's more about teaching these kids to have more respect for their body and hold something like Sex to a higher priority and standard. Our society is so sexually over stimulated and influenced...these young girls think that's how ou get things, and these young boys attribute it to a status thing..

Teaching these kids that it's okay to wait..these young girls that they are more than just their physical attributes...and these young boys that sex has more meaning beyond just the good feeling is where we need to get back to...or at least work towards.

Amber..I hear you..I'm 26, no kids yet..so it seems to be more and more out the norm to not have at least 1....

Sherria said...

Picture this--- a 22 year old with a 9 year old and the grandmother is 42. The g-ma is my cousin. She was going through a messy divorce and the kids just went crazy. By the time she recognized her daughter was prego, it was too late for alternative options.

The next generation, perhaps Genreation Q, will be an uneducated, lacking morals, etc etc bunch---what can we teach them when grandma is still vey young herself.

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...

That is something, but I can't understand why this woman wants to keep having kids. They are expensive. I can vouch for that since I've spoiled my nieces and nephews. I think it is also devastating to the 13 year old's life that he has become a parent at such an early age. Who knows if the child is really his?

CaramelKisses said...

i agree...dito

KnitFloozy said...

My biggest problem with Nadya Suleman is not her - but her healthcare provider. Why would he think this was a good idea. Why was she not turned down? why wasn't she given a mental health evaluation. Unemployed mother with six already....and you want to help her have more? Was he just experimenting to see if it would work? Ask Jon & Kate - it works!

My heart goes out for those children. They have an unstable mother.

KnitFloozy said...

My biggest problem with Nadya Suleman is not her - but her healthcare provider. Why would he think this was a good idea. Why was she not turned down? why wasn't she given a mental health evaluation. Unemployed mother with six already....and you want to help her have more? Was he just experimenting to see if it would work? Ask Jon & Kate - it works!

My heart goes out for those children. They have an unstable mother.

{Diamond} said...

It's really not cool that Hollywood and the media are making it look like it's cool for kids to be having kids. I just try to stay responsible for what goes on with my own kids, and teach them right. And for the record, I have NO sympathy for "octomom". That was a CHOICE. Nobody made her do that.

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...

I agree with you Caramel Kisses

Miss.Stefanie said...

Octo mom lives down the street from me in Whittier. She has issues. The woman thinks this is cute--its not. We are gonna end up paying to feed her aliens.


I also think, 13 years old having a kid in the U.S Should be NO surprise to anyone who lives in the U.S.


Blame the parents for not teaching sex ed....and octo moms parents---they should have told her to stop or get out! Touch love!

Oyin said...

This women is crazy.............and they are all under 7...

Angel said...

That woman who had 8 children is crazy, I didn’t realise that she had others as well.
No one should give her a penny and that’s that. I feel sorry for the children

I am also sorry for your loss

Now the 13 year old boy was incredible to me, especially when in our papers he was quoted saying what a great dad he was going to be.
They have to do a test to see if he really is that father because at 13 does the sperm really work??

Its true children are a gift and when I am blessed with them I definitely will be teaching them that major word

Consequence

GO b. said...

Are you kidding me....NO I wouldn't donate to her azz.. I donate to single mothers its called TAXES! And "Octomom" will be glad to know that due to the stimulus package recently signed she'll get an extra 25 dollars on her unemployment benefits plus all federal taxes will be suspended up to $2400 so hopefully she voted for OBAMA! LOL

Go.

Soulstress said...

I think octomom is most likely mentally ill.

Her story reminds me of ppl that have babies just so they can get more $$ from social services.

I think its really a shame..how do she think she's gon take care of that boatload of kids w.o. no income? And I think a few of them are special needs kids.

She's prob gon get sum of those kids taken away.

LadyLee said...

Yeah, I think you pretty much broke down how everyone feels about this.

Really.

Good post