Sunday, February 1, 2009

Repost: Best of Both Worlds

Since today is SuperBowl Sunday I thought this old post from September would perfect to repost today.

There's a new White commercial that has been recently airing. I wasn't able to find the video online so you'll have to settle for my description. If you need to view a previous version of the "when the crave calls" commercial click the link. They're all virtually the same basis just with different scenarios. The basic premise behind this particular commercial is this. A guy and a girl are on the couch and look to have just been "fooling around" and the girl says "I'll be right back and don't you go any where." Basically she's letting him know that she's going to go slip into something a little more "comfortable". Well as she walks away the guy's cell phone rings. Well the caller on the other end is not really a person but the crave calling him to come eat White Castles (cue the music). The man tries to reason and explain that it's not a good time right now. The music plays again indicating that the crave is very insistent on him coming right now! Unable to resist the crave, and in true fictional fashion the guy chooses to answer the crave and runs out of the door. Just as he exits a scantily clad female walks out wondering where he went.

Now yes the commercial did bring about a bit of a laugh. But one of the times I saw this commercial I was on the phone with my brother and we were both watching the same Chicago Bears game. Well of course he agreed just as probably any guy that watched this commercial would and said there's no way that they would choose hunger over even the slightest possibility that sex is going down. Especially in the case of the commercial where this man was 99.9% golden pending he wasn't one of those unfortunate men that require a little blue pill and forgot to take it. LoL. Being of the male species I can and will keep it real with you. Let's say a man just got released from being held hostage for months I'm talking having been starved and tortured John McCain style (We've all heard the story by now). However, upon his release if you immediately put on a table a sandwich (with the works ham, turkey, salami, cheese, bacon, etc.) and next to that sandwich a naked woman I'm willing to bet all I have that 90% of the time the man will take the naked woman. Now perhaps midway through handling his business he may take a quick bite of the sandwich to keep his energy up, but the initial reaction is all the evidence I need to win the bet. LoL!

Well I thought that my theory was bullet proof like 50 Cent, that was until someone posed this question to me the other day. I will attempt to phrase the question just as it was stated to me.

"Let's say it's Super Bowl Sunday and you're having a Super Bowl Party. So you've got good food, lots of beer, the big plasma TV, some good friends and family and the most comfortable seat in house all ready for the Big Game. What if right before the opening kick off your wife or girlfriend calls you to the room. You run to the room as to not miss any of the game and upon entering the room she greets you naked and wants you to have sex right then and there. What do you do?"

Now unlike my previous example with the food vs sex, for some reason I was just a bit puzzled as to what my answer would be. My very first thought is what kind of nymphomaniac freak have I married or gotten involved with that would even put me in the position to make this choice? LoL. I mean does she not know that I have watched game after game week after week (16+ in total) in order to see this one game? Does she not know I've watched my favorite team lose heart breaking games and even perhaps miss the playoffs this year? If she's my wife or girlfriend then she has to know all of this. So why oh why would she do this to me?

Alright I know this is by far not the worst position to be put in world but still it's a decision that I would prefer not to have to make. I can see the angel and the devil on my shoulder trying to get me to choose sides. Except in this case I don't know which is the good side and which is the bad side. But on one side there's a man with a football referee uniform on and the other is a woman with an angel robe on and a cheerleader outfit under it. Now both have valid arguments as to why I should choose one over the other.

Ref: Why are we even having this debate we've done the coin toss time for the kick off get out there on the field game on!! (Blows whistle).

Angel: It's sex!!

Ref: That's all you have to say to plead your case? It's sex? Would you tell her to put some clothes on and come back out here so you don't miss any of the game.

Angel: It's SEX!!
Ref: Is this really your argument? So you think that just because it's sex he's supposed to miss the biggest game of the year? You bought that 55inch Plasma screen just for this game!

Angel: Let's Talk about sex baby... (Singing the words to Salt and Peppa's song).

Ref: See this is B.S. it's Super Bowl Sunday. You have cold beer, snacks, and the best damn sporting event waiting on you what's to think about?

Angel: S.E.X. take a deep breath and think before you let it goooo!!... (Singing the words to Lyfe Jennings' song).

Ref: (Blow Whistle and throws flag!!) Personal Foul unnecessary singing!!

Angel: Listen this is all I have to say. No, it's not sex again. But there's a beautiful naked woman here ready and willing. Now you mean to tell me you'd rather watch a man take a snap from behind another man when you could be taking your own snap with her as your center?

Ref: Man she's your girl she's not going no where why does it have to be now? How about you sacrifice the half time show. (Whispers: Don't worry Janet Jackson isn't performing this year) You can come and finish this then.

Angel: Oh trust it'll be too late by then and you'll probably be sacrificing about a months worth of sex and your bed. So I hope that Lazy Boy is extra comfy.

Ref: (Blows Whistle) Injury timeout on the field. Get my man an ice pack for his future blue balls!! Because we're still going back to watch the game right?

Angel: Okay here's the last chance and the last option for you. Tivo or DVR. You do your thing here and when you get done go back and rewind the game and watch from the beginning. You'll both be happy, she gets what she wants (sex) and you still get what you want (the game). You can skip the commercials and the half time show and come back and watch them later and by the end of half time you'll be back watching the game live. So what do you say?

Ref: I think I saw a challenge flag thrown.

Me: Well she does have some valid points I think I'll take her last option.

Ref: After further review of the play the ruling on the field stands: This is some bullshit!!

Angel: No man can resist you were fighting a losing battle.

(Both poof and disappear)

Well in actually the thought process of that decision took a matter of a few seconds but believe it or not all of those things went through my head before I gave my answer to the question. The DVR option was in fact my final answer by the way. Thank God for technology. LoL. But on the real I just can't imagine being put in a situation such as that. I mean I love Football and sports but does it outweigh a man's desire to want to have sex?

Before I go just just a quick word of advice to the ladies. Please don't do any nonsense such as this to your men. Now if it's preseason, even regular season then let's make it happen, I'll even miss the whole game. And although it's a stretch, I may even make an exception for the playoffs. But on Super Bowl Sunday this is just torture. Although most will choose the sex option there will be plenty of resentment behind it. And no offense he's not doing it because he wants you oh so bad at that moment. It's because he doesn't want to face the possible consequences of choosing football over you. So a simple solution to this is to go ahead and watch the game with him. You may not know what the hell is going on but just sit quietly and ask very few questions during the game. When he cheers just cheer right along with him. Keep a cold beer near and a few snacks within arms reach. And if he's happy with the outcome of the game celebrate with him and if he's sad or upset just don't bring it up at all. If you can do this one thing then trust and believe your man will do anything you want the day after the game. His honeydew list will be completed and he'll be rubbing your feet and feeding you grapes. Well maybe that's a stretch but he will appreciate this gesture and you will be rewarded generously for it.

P.S. To the guys. You know how they say most guys break up with their girlfriends before Christmas and stay single until after Valentines Day? Well the Super Bowl is usually before Valentines Day. Hint Hint. LoL.



Sexxy Luv said...

ummmm....there is no way in hell that i would choose sex over the superbowl! you done fell and hit your damn head! watching the superbowl on TIVO is not the same as watching it live....don't you enjoy the phone calls, text,& IM you get from your buddies during the game?...

SEX over SUPERBOWL....smh (shame on you)

Miss.Stefanie said...

I think I would choose sex over Superbowl...Okay scratch that I'd probably have sex while watching the Superbowl.

n0days0ff said...

If your team didn't make it anyway it shouldn't be that hard a decision should it? The only thing that might stop me is what if the guests come looking for me.I'd feel so embarassed if they heard us lol

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i know id take a bit of the sandwich if not eat it all during - skillzs lol

and sex during super bowl is sustainable too


Go B. said...

Sounds like something I would know the let's see how much he really loves me thing...ahhh

But I have my own thing now.. Blogging so why he's hoping all over the TV like a crazed-maniac I'll be reading my favorite blogs such as this one!!

Go B.

Anonymous said...

Interesting convo to have before a game...but I feel you. No woman should make the proposition to a man right before the Super Bowl...that is just evil.

Gem said...

I can't tell you how much I hate you for that Ref/Angel dialogue.

Anyhoo, in my household it would be considered blasphemy for this situation to occur. Their is a mutual contractual understanding that sex comes before or afer Superbowl. ESPECIALLY if there's a bunch of people over! (this is only binding if married/living together. if the partners see each other sporadically, and one has to leave soon then this may be permissable and admissable)

Princess Mina said...

Lol this is so funny. I would never do that but luckily my man is in the 1% of population that doesn't watch football. As far as the sex or sandwich thing, obviously sex would be chosen but I'd probably feed him the sandwich while having sex to reward him for making the right choice lol.

SheBloggs said...

I awarded you on my blog.. you don't have to do it, just a shout out! <3

Jenna Marie Christian said...

lol...I wouldn't dare put himin the situation to make that choice, but i'd hope he'd choose

Kryssy said...

Sex during half-time...
I wouldn't make him forego the game though... because that would make ME have to miss the game too. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I mean, the SuperBowl is only 1x a year.... we could have sex everyday... multiple times a day...
ok, I just got distracted...LOL

ANGELINA said...

this is something i would do lol. i don't see anything wrong with a quickie during a commercial break (or two).

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I know this was for the guys

"you know how they say most guys break up with their girlfriends before Christmas and stay single until after Valentines Day?"

...but I had to comment! I think those guys are CHEAP!!! lmao