First Comes Baby, Then Comes Marriage?

I am a father. Yes my babygirl was born premature, and only lived for one day, but in the 5 and a half months her mother was pregnant, I knew that being a father was absolutely NO JOKE! Unfortunately, it seems as though the responsibility of being a parent has become somewhat of a joke. The most glaring example is the "Octomom" Nadya Suleman. The Octomom is the woman in Los Angeles who, though she already had six children, decided that it would be an ingenious idea to implant herself with eight embryos. Yes, I understand that in-vitro fertilization is not an exact science, but lo and behold, all eight embryos were viable and survived to their birth. So now this woman has 14 children.

If that weren't bad enough, Ms. Suleman is an unemployed single mother living with her parents. Children are expensive as hell. No, I didn't get the opportunity to spoil my babygirl, but I have had a front row seat to spoiling of my nephew. (My brother's son). Boy, oh boy. I always crack jokes with my brother and say that the reason he might not have any more kids is because he can't afford any more. And that's just one. Multiply that times 14. How the hell does this woman expect to raise those children on her humble unemployed salary? I know, set up a website, and ask people for donations! If reaching out to the public at large is your major means of supporting your children, maybe you don't need children!

Since then her website has been shut down. This fact was not a publicized event. I believe that she probably wasn't really raising that much money. Would you donate money to her? Even if I had the money available, I wouldn't give her shit. I consider myself very charitable, but why should I feel guilty for the fact that there's a woman who's so irresponsible that she "chose" to give birth to more children than her finances could afford her? Personally, I believe this woman is mentally unstable. When we first heard this story, I'm sure that many of you thought she probably did this for the publicity. Though that may have been a part of her motivation, I think its more so that she's just crazy. Some crazy people talk to themselves, others have hallucinations, this woman, for some reason, continues to have more children. I wish those children the best. Due to my experience with my daughter, I know that their recovery will be long, and tedious. I pray that the neonatal care that they receive is top notch. Unfortunately, I don't believe this is the last that we'll hear of this story.

Now from the ridiculous to the sublime. I turned on the television yesterday, and watched a news story about a 13 year old boy who is now a father. The first thing that I thought was "you have got to be shittin me"! I'm 30 years old now. 13 wasn't that long ago, so I can vividly remember that age. When I was 13, what was important to me was kickin it with my friends, and playing my new Sega Genesis. Don't get me wrong, I was into girls. Hell, I think at 13, I saw, and touched, my first live breast. (And I've been hooked ever since. Lol). But sex? Not even in the top 10 things of importance in my life. Yes I wanted another sibling at that time, but a child of my own, HELL NO!



The boy got a 15 year old girl pregnant, so this wasn't an illegal circumstance per se. But this situation is just obscenely ridiculous. Apparently young Alfie, the 13 year old, was rarely attending school. And as we all know, children who don't go to school find other, more dangerous things, to get themselves into. Unfortunately, now, Alfie has given up his childhood, and also put the life of another child in jeopardy.

I know that you can only do so much as a parent. No parent can be with their child 24 hours a day. But its imperative that we teach our children about the consequences of the decisions that they make. Unfortunately you have these very same children looking at people like Jaime Lynn Spears (Britney Spear's little sister), and Bristol Palin (Governor Palin's 17 year old daughter) and recognizing the kind of attention that they're receiving. And actually, to a larger degree, they're seeing "adults" like Nadya Suleman, and all the attention that they receive for what everyone knows is irresponsible behavior. Children are a blessing. And the sooner we get back to treating them as such, instead of an accessory like a new purse or a nice pair of earrings, the sooner we can begin to improve the status of our American families.

-DrizaDre-

Child Abuse

By the title of this post you're probably automatically thinking that I'm referring to some sort of physical or verbal child abuse. First off I must say that I am in no way making a joke or mockery of child abuse. However, as horrible as those types of child abuse are, I think there is a child abuse that is over looked. Whenever, I see this behavior exhibited I want to immediately get on the horn and call DCFS. There are certain parents that suffer from what I'm going to refer to as: IknowyougotnotalentbutIdon'twannahurtyourfeelings. I would form that into an acronym but it would probably look like something my son typed. (IKYGNTBIDWHYF) LoL. For an example please check out the video below.



We've all seen it, season after heart wrenching season on the show American Idol. the new season just began earlier this month. I like some of you, used to look forward to this show just to see the opening weeks auditions. I just wanted to get a quick laugh at the talentless individuals that make fools of themselves. Well probably 3 or 4 seasons ago I could not take any more. I just had to ask myself where are these kids parents at? Although it's funny to watch, it's really more sad than anything. It began to feel like I was watching a child get beat over and over. I mean I've seen a kid or 20 get spanked before in my lifetime. Initially it's pretty funny (don't judge me for laughing), but to see them get spanked over and over and over eventually saddens me.

Whenever I watch the show auditions I'm always left wondering who let them go on this show? I mean who heard them sing and actually encouraged them to go audition? Well if it was friends I don't fault them. Maybe they just wanted a good laugh or something to blog about. However, when I see the parents consoling their crying kid after Simon rips them a new one, I just have to Shake My Head. Then it amazes me that the parents have the nerve to get upset and say that "the judges are wrong and can't recognize talent if it bit them in the ass."

Well I have a message to those parents. Yes we all love our kids and we want them to think they are the best and encourage them to be the best at any and everything they do. However, as parents we must be realistic. At a certain age (I would say by the teenage years) this has to stop. By this age you and your child(ren) should be able to understand that there are some things they're great at, some they're just average at, and some thins they just suck at. Therefore, when you hear them sing and you can barely stand it, what makes you think others will enjoy it?

Unfortunately, I don't know what all of my son's talents hidden talents will be 10 years from now. His grand dad taught him to play drums. So, I know at 5 he can already play a mean set of drums already. And when I say play I mean like really play not just banging them to make noise. I was amazed when I first saw him doing this. As a producer, I can play the hell out of a drum machine and make a tight beat (See Left). However, I'm not coordinated enough to play a set of drums. Lol. Also, I wish I could put it on here, but I got pics and video of him lip [rapping] syncing to a song and holding this microphone. Sorry, but I got a rule about not posting pics or videos of my son anywhere online. But trust me It's too hilarious. I've never taught him any of this showmanship, but I can see he's a natural performer.

In the end I think it boils down to if you love your kids you have to love them enough to be honest with them. Yes it may be hard for me to sit my son down and tell him that he's not that talented in a certain thing. However, I would rather him hear it from me someone that loves him, than someone that loves them. It's far better than letting him go on TV in front of millions of people to only embarrass his damn self. I would be more than glad to help him develop whatever the talent he lacks skills in. But to fill his heads with lies knowing he is no good to me would be child abuse.

Speaking of abuse. No offense but even Joe Jackson's non parenting ass had sense to beat his kids until their talents were flawless. LoL. Now that is truly not funny and of course extreme. But I tend to just think of it in terms of your child liking or being in love with a girl or guy that you clearly see just isn't into them. They obviously don't see it, but are you going to sit back and let their heart constantly be broken over and over as they get rejected by that person? Or are you going to Man Up and just say hey son or daughter they're not into you like you are them. But don't worry you're wonderful regardless and there are others [talents] that will appreciate you the way that you should be? But then again perhaps it's just me and my keep it real mind state.

Well to all you American Idol fans have fun watching the new season I'm sure there will be plenty laughs to be had at more talentless kid's expenses. But don't feel bad when you're on the floor breaking your back to laugh. Because behind it there is a parent to blame. So to those parents I must say Shame On You!

--C-Recks--

What's In a Name?

"You got a bad name like Dick Butkis" - J-Ro of the Alkaholiks from "Another Level"

For those who don't know, Dick Butkis was a Hall of Fame linebacker for the Chicago Bears. As a life long Bears fan, I've always known who he was, but it wasn't until I heard this song that I had ever analyzed his name. And yes, it had to be hard growing up with a name like that. (Kids can be so cruel). I myself have a rather unusual name. I mean, a black man in America named Andreas? Can't say that I've run across any other black man with my name. As a matter of fact, I hated my name when I was a kid. (Like 5 and 6). I wanted to change my name to Michael. Thank God I came to my senses. No offense to any Michael's in the audience, its just that I have a unique personality. And thus my unique name fits me. Plus I think its kinda cool to be named after my mom Andrea. (Yes I know I'm pandering, but hey, Christmas is coming up, and I can always use the extra brownie points. Lol).

With all of that being said, I want to nominate Heath and Deborah Campbell of Hunterdon County, NJ, as the worse parents in the world. I've never met Heath or Deborah, but after reading this, I think you'll agree with me. Heath and Deborah have three children. The oldest being a son named...(wait for it)... Adolf Hitler Campbell. I swear I'm not making this up. Young Adolf turned 3 recently. Like all parents, Heath and Deborah wanted to get him a birthday cake with his name on it. They contacted their local grocery store, and tried to place an order for the cake. But there's one simple twist. Heath and Deborah asked for his entire name to be placed on the cake. Well, needless to say, the store declined their request.

Heath and Deborah were eventually able to get the cake of their choice at a Wal-mart in Pennsylvania. I don't know how this story made it to the public square, but Heath did an interview in which he said "I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not the past." Well Heath, I must tell you that when you name your child after someone who is, almost, single handedly responsible for the murder of 6 million people, its sure to raise more than an eyebrow or two. It actually trips me out that this dude is claiming some kind of ignorance about the response to his and his wife's actions. Heath made a further mockery of himself by asserting that "There's a new President and he says that it's time for a change; well then it's time for a change. They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."

While that might not be the case, you have to admit Heath, there's a certain racist element to naming you child Adolf Hitler. When that issue was brought up, Deborah Campbell revealed that 12 people attended the party, including several mixed children. As Heath exclaimed "If we're so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?" Well Heath, I can't explain the logic behind that decision. However I will say this about your "possibly" racist tendencies. Its bad enough that you named you son Adolf Hitler Campbell. But when your wife gave birth to a daughter a year later, you and Deborah decided to name her................(wait for it).................. JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. (I shit you not). Now Heath, can I be real with you? I might have been able to let you slide with the whole Adolf thing. Not my preference, but to each his own. But picking "Aryan Nation" as your daughter's middle name; well, that just slaps of an agenda. A RACIST one! Their third child's name is Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. I can't say that there's anything overtly racist about that name, but given Heath and Deborah's track record, I will be doing some investigating.

Heath said that they named their son Adolf Hitler because "no one else in the world will have that name." Well Heath, you're probably wrong. I'm sure that somewhere in this world of 8 billion people, some other racist MF had the very same idea as you. They just didn't call their local grocery store and try and order a birthday cake with his name on it. I understand the concept unique names, but can we draw the line somewhere? I blame Hollywood for this crap. You know, the people naming their children such things as Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter), Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon's son), Diva Muffin and Moon Unit (Frank Zappa's daughters), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's son), and Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani's daughter).

Again, I understand the need to want to name your children something unique. But as a parent, you're supposed to put your children's needs ahead of your own personal agenda. And there's no way you can't say that young Adolf wouldn't have an easier time going through life as Michael Campbell.

-DrizaDre-

Got M.I.L.F.??

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday. In this weekly segment we will be highlighting women that we feel fit into the category of M.I.L.F. Again, if you're not familiar with the term M.I.L.F. keep in mind it is an acronym for (Mother I'd Like To F____). Feel free to fill in your own F-word there. But my personal criteria for a woman to qualify as a M.I.L.F. would be that she would have to be an attractive lady over the age of 35 with at least 1 child. So here's this week's lineup...

Thandie Newton - Age 37

If you ask my brother his dream girl would be a beautiful black woman with a British accent. Don't ask me why ask him. lol. Well I know for sure that Thandie Newton fits into this category. Born and raised in London, Newton began acting in the early 90's but had no note worthy roles. It wasn't until a role the 1994 movie "Interview with the Vampire" that she came on the radar. She later on went to play roles in movies like "Jefferson in Paris," and "Gridlock'd." And no man can forget her role in "Beloved," the movie adaptation of Toni Morrison's book. In that movie she appears naked and pregnant in one particular scene. Other movie roles included: "Mission Impossible II," "The Truth About Charlie," "Crash," "Pursuit of Happyness," "Norbit," "Run Fatboy Run," and most recently in "W" as Condoleeza Rice. Also she played in about 13 episodes of the TV show E.R. At age 37 Thandie has 2 daughters ages 8 and 4 and you probably would never even be able to tell she's had children.

Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas - Age 37

In 1992 when the group TLC jumped on the music scene with their single "Aint Too Proud to Beg," the group became instant sex symbols. Also wearing the colorful condoms everywhere was a big help with that as well. But even though the group wore baggy clothes which were the trend back then they were still sexy. Well when their 2nd album CrazySexyCool dropped they let go of the baggy clothes and wore more feminine attire. It was at that time where I chose my favorite of the 3 which was Chilli. The group went on to record 2 more albums and sell millions more. Unfortunately tragedy struck when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez was killed in a car accident in 2002. Chilli is still working on her solo career. She's also acted in movies such as "House Party 3," "Hav Plenty," and "Snow Day." Her acting resume also includes shows such as: "That 70's Show," "The Parkers," and "Strong Medicine." Of course we all know Chilli was romantically involved with Usher until he released his "Confessions" album in 2004. Believe it or not Chilli has an 11 year old son with producer Dallas Austin.

Sharon Leal - Age 37

Ironically today October 17th is Sharon Leal's 37th B-day. Well happy birthday Sharon as a gift allow me to induct you onto our M.I.L.F. List. Sharon began acting on the soap opera "The Guiding Light." She then moved on to act in the TV shows "Legacy," "Boston Public," "Las Vegas," "LAX," and "CSI: Miami." Leal has also appeared in movies such as "Dream Girls," "Why did I get Married," and "This Christmas." She will also be in the last Bernie Mac Movie "Soul Men" that is due out soon. Leal has worked both in front of and behind the camera directing episodes of such shows as; "Sister Sister," "The Game," "One on One," "Half and Half," "Girlfriends," and "The Parenthood." Leal has a 4 year old daughter.

To Be Continued...

--C-Recks--

Plural Familes??

Well after I watched the Celtics win the NBA Finals last night and watched all the highlights and interviews, I found myself flipping through channels. I happen to come across Oprah which I never watch except on rare occasions. Well this quickly became one of those occasions as I learned the topic being discussed was polygamy aka Plural families (the new PC term). So I sat intrigued watching Oprah interview three wives and one husband.

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200710/tows_past_20071026.jhtml

Needless to say, that this got me to thinking on the whole subject of polygamist and had to add my two cents to the pot. First off, and I believe Oprah touched on the same point, but I've been married before (thankfully to only one woman). However, I found it difficult to keep this one woman happy, pleased, and satisfied all of the time (as I'm sure most husbands do). Therefore, my question is how in the HELL is it possible for this man to keep 3 wives happy and pleased even some of the time? As they say "Happy Wife Happy Life. " But maybe this guy only goes for 2 out of 3 when it comes to that rule. And when I say happy and satisfied I don't only mean sexually. In fact, we all know it takes so much more than sex to keep a woman pleased and happy sex is a very small part of the equation.

I just think that as much as guys want to fantasize about three-somes and having more than one woman, it takes a special man to take it to this level. "When asked who sleeps where he said I have my room and they all have their own rooms." So I'm wondering is this like some type of reality show or something, where these women compete in some sort of game or event to see who gets to sleep with the husband that night (i.e. Flavor of Love)? Or do they have a calendar and pick days? I'm just curious because it just doesn't seem as simple as they attempted to make it seem.

Moving on, there is something else I've yet to mention. Well this particular family had a total of about 22 kids (yes 22 that's not a typo). Now I have one child, and my one child is much more than a handful all by himself. So I can't even imagine having a house full of 22 kids. I don't even think 3 mothers is enough for 22 kids. That is still an average of 7.3333333 kids per mother. I'm sure they all range in ages so perhaps some of the older children pitch in to help with the younger. But my next question was obviously how in the HELL does this man support all of these kids? I mean God forbid one of the women ever leaves because I'm sure his whole damn check will go to child support. LoL. Don't get me wrong children are a wonderful blessing and all but I don't know any woman that would still be willing to marry a man knowing she would have to pop out 7.33 children. Then, I don't know how but all 3 of these women were all of reasonable weight and proportion. Now I know that every woman's body reacts differently after pregnancy but man 7 kids and still slim I'm sure many women would like to know the secret (or would they?).

Well the family on the show painted such a pretty picture of their "Plural" family. Of course insuring that there were no type of abuse going on in his household. However, Oprah of course had someone else that escaped a polygamist sect that spoke out stating that there was abuse and that she was forced to marry at age 18. I mean I can't personally prove or disprove either of these families allegations. However, all I know is that something isn't right. I know they use the basis of religious beliefs as their reasoning for having multiple wives and the wives having to dress and wear their hair as they do but it's not on sale so I'm not buying it.

Of course we've yet to address the illegal aspect of the whole polygamy story. Yes it is against the law to marry more than one person at the same time. Therefore, as Oprah stated many of the men don't come forward to speak out about their practice. However, this particular man chose to come out and talk about it. I guess Oprah was offering enough for him to risk it. Don't forget he's got 22 kids to feed. But overall I don't see risking going to jail to marry more than one woman worth it to me. It seems as if they feel that as long as they're not hurting anyone by this practice they should be able to marry as many women as possible. But to that I say well I'm sure prostitutes feel the same way they're not hurting anyone by performing their service but yet and still it's illegal. So the bottom line is just as they risk going to jail for their actions so should you for yours. Well inquiring minds would like to know this, why are there never wives with multiple husbands in these polygamist sects? Well the fact there is no answer for that question pretty much proves my feelings towards polygamists.

Finally in speaking on polygamist, I recall pop singer Akon was rumored to be a polygamist and to actually be coming out with a reality show centered around his family life.

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/akon%20plans%20polygamy%20show_1014602

However, I'm sure the production was quickly halted after the stunt Akon pulled with the under age girl on stage. I highly doubt that would help to put to rest any of the rumors surrounding polygamist at all. Well speaking of celebrities, I guess if I was into the multiple women thing I think I'd more go the Hugh Hefner route and have 3 "girlfriends" as he calls them. Not only does he get to enjoy the same lifestyle but he is also safe from prosecution.

C-Recks Out!!

Father's Pay!!

Yes it's that time of year again. Father's Day. And for all you dads out there breaking your neck and back to provide and care for your children you need only read this first paragraph the rest will not apply to you. But just keep up the great work, I have nothing but respect for Real Men such as yourselves. So on this Father's Day you fathers by all means fire up a BBQ grill and drink your favorite beer on me. You deserve it for all you do!!

Okay now that we got that out of the way. I also have a dedication for you other fathers. What other fathers might you ask? Well you know the so called fathers that aren't in their children's lives. Some may call them "sperm donors" or "deadbeat dads." I have quite a few expletives that I could use to describe them myself. However, what we call them is not really what this blog is about. My question is this, if you have a child or children and you have no part in their lives, How can you even look at yourself in the mirror each day? How can you go about your day to day lives knowing there is a little person that looks like you and that needs you in their life? Well don't attempt to answer the questions they are simply rhetorical and whatever your answer is won't be valid to me anyway.

Now I will be candid. When I found out my ex-wife was pregnant over 5 years ago I never anticipated 2 years later being divorced, paying child support and only seeing my son on the weekends. It would have been very easy for me to duck my obligations, quit my job, work for cash or part time or whatever trickery you so called men come up with to avoid paying child support. But I didn't I stood up as a Man and faced my responsibilities. I cherish and look forward to each and every weekend I get to spend time with my son. Now I'm not saying that just because I pay my child support and spend time with my son that I deserve a trophy or Father of the year Plaque. In fact, rapper Common said in his song "Retrospect for life" "weekend visits and buying J's (Jordan's) that don't make you a father." I agree with this statement because it's about more than what you buy your kids and that you spend time with them. Besides, what good is spending time if the time spent should be quality bonding?

Furthermore on that point, I personally don't think you should be rewarded for doing what you're supposed to do. Now the men that assume another man's responsibility and are raising some other man's child(ren) those men deserve a round of applause. Even greater than those men raising another man's child(ren), are the single mothers that have to play both the role of mother and father. To you women I don't know how you do it but I give you a level of respect beyond words. I know it has to be difficult to get up every morning go to work, get your kids off to school, work all day, come home after a long day's work, check homework, put the kids to bed and do it all over again. Then add in the fact that you do it all by yourself with no help. Now that deserves a standing ovation!!

Now back to the subject at hand. That's right the "Deadbeat Dads." Now I'm not one to advocate violence. But "beat" seems to be a fitting word as punishment for some of these men. But as much as we'd like to tie them to a tree and let the women and children have at it pinata style that wouldn't necessarily be the "right" thing to do. But there is a such thing called Karma and when karma comes back it's usually 3X's as hard. So therefore, fret not. In fact, I came across an article where last year on Father's Day the Cook County Sheriff implemented "Operation Father's Pay and decided give some Deadbeat Dad's a wonderful Father's Day gift. That's right a pair of shiny new bracelets.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb5273/is_200706/ai_n20570794

Now that's what I call Karma baby!!! And for those of you that continue to allude the authorities I'm sure Karma will eventually have his wrath on you as well. And with the help of the trusty Internet I'm sure someone will recognize you and turn you in. While you're here take a look at this list of "Deadbeats" and make sure you don't recognize any of them.

http://www.co.lake.il.us/Sheriff/Person/IndexDeadBeat.asp

In conclusion, I know that the Job of being a father is not an easy one by any means. But all we can do as fathers the best that we can. And if you're trying your hardest your child(ren) will know and in the end respect you for that. But to just blatantly ignore your responsibilities as a parent, well there is absolutely no excuse for such an action. I'll leave you with the words of rapper Ed O.G. "Be A Father to Your Child." Check out the song and video below.

Happy Father's Day to the Real Father's out there handling their business.

Ed O.G. & The Bulldogs-Be A Father to Your Child

C-Recks out!