Monday, February 16, 2009

Exit Strategy: Update

So as you all may know from my previous Exit Strategy post I finally got a new job and I start today. I want to thank you all for the congrats and advice on how I should leave my previous job. Well I must be honest with you. Although I asked for advice, I of course had it made up in my head as to how I was going to leave. But I thought I would at least entertain you guys suggestions. So here's how everything went down.

Of course being the professional I am I went with option #1 and typed out my resignation letter below and gave it to my boss on that Friday. You can read it below, but I'm going to interject with what I was really thinking or at least wanted to say in red. Warning, Parental Advisory suggested.

February 6, 2009

Dear Mr. (Boss),

I am writing this letter as my formal notification that I am resigning from my position as (____) with (Company name). Friday February 13, 2009 will be my last day of employment.
I Quit! I should leave today, but I'm feeling nice and giving y'all another week of work from me.

This was not an easy decision to make as it has been a genuine pleasure working for (Company name). The work has been both challenging and productive and I have thoroughly enjoyed working with (Company name's) fine staff of professionals. I will miss my associates here.
As soon as I got the call that I got the new job I didn't have to think twice and immediately accepted. The last 3 years working here have been pure hell. After all the people I was friends with either got fired or quit I couldn't stand coming in daily to these bitter ass women. There are 2 people left I pray find something better so they can escape as well. Those 2 I will miss. The rest of y'all can kiss my ass.

If I may be of assistance in the recruitment, hiring process, or training of my replacement, please know that I will gladly make myself available to this effort.
This next week don't ask me to do s**t beyond my regular job. And you better hope that I will even do that. Well I may pretend to be working; however, I am most likely on the Internet reading or writing blogs as I have been hiding doing the last 9+ months. But since I don't give a damn anymore I will let you know not to disturb me. And if you're really smart you won't ask me to train a damn person, because after I finish telling them the real deal they definitely won't want to work here.

As Jay-Z said. "For the rest of y'all throwin shots at Jigga, you only get a half a bar F**k Y'all niggaz."


CC: Supervisor with her b**ch ass
CC: Owner with his b**ch ass

So I give him the letter sit down in front of him and he says "You're leaving?!?" And keeps reading and looks at the last date as Friday 13th. Then he has to nerve to ask me "You can't give us 2 weeks notice?" I reply "Unfortunately that's not an option for me at this time." Are you f**kin serious? You have the nerve to ask me to give you 2 weeks? I bet when you were ready to fire me at the end of this month I wouldn't get 2 weeks notice of that s**t.

So he asks "Are you getting out of the business or going anywhere I know of?" I reply I'm not going anywhere at all I'm just resigning from here. His face perks up and looked like he wanted to say WTF? I'm not stupid the owner is an old Italian man and I swear he's in the Mafia or something. I got stories I could tell. But his ass is connected and knows some of every one. You think I'm gone tell you I got a new job so he can make a call and f**k my s**t up? Oh hell naw! Hand me a mirror because Someone must've written stupid on my forehead since I last looked in the mirror.

Flustered, he then says "you know when I wrote you up last month it wasn't meant as a bad thing (now I have the WTF face). Last month you did much better, you didn't improve to where it said you should in the write up, but nonetheless you did do much better. So I reply "hmmm that's funny, but also part of the problem because you all don't tell us when we do good. But you're quick to point out when we are doing bad." Plus I could have sworn the damn write up letter said and I quote "If your numbers aren't improved by the end of February we will be forced to replace you." Your words not mines.

He then says "I only wrote the letter because I wanted to motivate you to do better." Wait! Again are you f**kin serious? Because you can't have just told me that with a straight face. But let me get this straight. You want your employees to do better... so let's write them up and threaten to fire them. Okay great strategy. Well guess what? You did motivate me, you motivated me to get the hell outta this damn job and get another!

"Well we hate to see you go and you will be missed, we appreciate your 5+ years of service for the company, some other babbling about how much he always liked me." Extends his hand to shake mines. Blah Blah Blah. What the f**k ever. Save that BS talk because I know damn well your ass didn't like me and don't worry the feeling was mutual. So like a limp d**k there's No "hard" feelings at all.

I Shake his hand and begin to smile big. I was ready to jump up and down in this chair like Tom Cruise on Oprah's show. I Walk out of the office and go back to my desk ready to do a lot of non-work for the rest of the day/week. We had a lunch meeting later that day and my manager announced that I resigned to the rest of the company. The funniest thing is that no one said anything to me the rest of the week. Not one where you going to or why are you quitting or you'll be missed or any of that. And believe me these are the nosiest women in the world so them not asking I found funny.

So on my last day I had planned on bringing donuts or something for everyone. Just as a good parting gesture. But I must admit I also contemplated the stealing of the tissue again and some adding exlax to the donuts, but I'm not that cold. LoL. But I figured since no one really gave a damn why should I. So I came in late my last day, did my last 6 hours, and that was that. I Said my goodbyes to everyone and even gave and received some fake hugs and I will miss yous. The only thing I will miss about this place is that my drive here was only 2 minutes. But I will gladly drive 35-45 minutes to the new job to get away from this place. Peace.

So that was that I kept it professional all the way throughout. Excuse the excessive cursing. I don't normally curse that much unless I'm upset. Well maybe I do, but not all in one setting like that. LoL. But today I start at the new job. Therefore I am not sure how much blogging I will get to do this week. I'm sure I'll have some stories to share from the new gig soon enough though. My brother should be able to hold it down the blog though. I definitely won't be able to do as much reading and he rarely reads so excuse my absence on everyone's blogs and comments. In closing, here are a few pics below I took of my old desk. Have a great week!!

Not sure what my new desk will look like, but hopefully it's much larger than this cramped space.

Goodbye old desk and cramped space. (This is the cleanest it's been since I've worked there. LoL)

This quote was told to me by a good friend last year. I wrote it down and posted it on my monitor. It's been there ever since. It may not have happened last year. But good things come to those who wait. And so far this year is definitely setting up to be that year. Thanks KDW.

Some of my art work. I was very bored back in the day. Thank God I discovered blogging to occupy my time at work. LoL. Oh and no one try to steal my "Black Out" product idea. Patent is pending. LoL.

Finally after removing all of the items pinned up on my cubicle I took all of the stick pins and made a peace sign. So when they walk past my desk they will know I've peaced the hell out. LoL.



Keith said...

Way to go and Good Luck to you Brother. (I swear your computer and your workspace looks identical to mine.lololol.)

Go B. said...

Wow... that's almost identical to what I write on my resignation letters. Of course they are all the same letting the company know how much you enjoyed them!

Yeah right!

I can't wait to write mine for the end of the year. I'm still working on my relocation plans!

Congratulations on the New Job!


Jillian said...

well that's great! door closes new one opens!!

it's like ending a bad rather be the one doing the breaking up then the one being broken up funny how old job changed the script really quick...

in any case good luck with the new job again!!! Hope it's a great week for you!

Sexxy Luv said...

lmao! i'm stealing that "black out" idea. too funny!

isn't it against the law to work in a space that damn small?

#287 get back to work! lol

have a great work day.

mrs. mary mack said...

LOL! I can't wait until I write my next one! Good luck at the new gig- I know how hard it is to work with bitter women...I work in schools that are full of them!

LadyLee said...

This was funny... I only WISH I could write what I really felt when resigning. Really.

The last job, I didn't turn in a letter. Just told them I'm leaving in a few weeks... that is IT!! LOL

Hope the new job goes well:)

She's Gotta Have It said...

Congrats to you for making such a clean break and good luck on the new job! I don't know how you worked in such a tiny space. I guess you're not claustrophobic!

Miss.Stefanie said...

Congrats on the new job....

I love your computer!

Im still that idea!

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

I am proud of you for your professionalism, they didnt even see it coming!!! LOL! Good luck with your new job!

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

hah your old boss has a lot of nerve, people kill me! lol

I wish you luck in your new job! ;)

Untouched Jewel said...

Hey C Recks, you did a good job in keepin it professional, although your thoughts were funny as hell. And you will definitely be a success story. Keep going for whatever goals you set out to accomplish.

P.S. Too bad I couldn't have been your date for Valentine's Day. I sure as hell didn't have one. LOL.

Kryssy said...

I'm glad that you handled it as professionally as you did! That was GREAT!!!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Funny how people don't appreciate you until you're out the door. Go for you, bro, I'm happy for ya!

Brothers Blog said...

@ Keith - Thanks a lot I really appreciate it. Lol seen one seen em all. lol

@ Go B - LoL I got that letter off the internet. Good luck on your plans as well. And thanks Again.

@ Jillian - Good anology on the relationship and thanks again.

@ Sexxy Luv - I said patent pending so no stealing. Thanks. :-D

@ Mrs. Mary - Lol there are mostly women @ the new gig too but they don't seem as bitter.

@ LadyLee - LoL. Don't we all wish that. Thanks as well.

@ She's Gotta - Yeah it was very cramped.

@ Miss Stef - Thanks and no stealing my idea. lol.

@ Introspective - Thanks I really had to bite my tounge but did it.

@ Tuotierugif - LoL. Never ceases to amaze me. But thank you very much.

@ Untouched Jewel - Thank you so much for the encouragement I appreciate it. But sorry to hear you had no date for V-Day.

@ Kryssy - Yeah I remember your H/R advice. So I had to do it right. lol

@ Curvy Girl - Yeah you know that saying never realize what you got til it's gone. But thank you so much.

Stephie J said...

Good for you!! I hope your new job isn't filled with as many assholes as this one seemed to have!!

clnmike said...

Lol, way to control your self and keep it proffesional.

malika the m.i.l.f. said...

i'm happy for you. it kills me when you have a boss that you know is trying to fire you, yet when you get the hell on, they ask why you're leaving. i guess they feel that you should be stupid enough to wait to be fired rather than taking control of your career. congrats though.

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...

Man I'm glad that all is well with you. I wish you God's speed on your new job.

Angel said...

LOL - I do wish we were able to write how we really felt!!

Anyway I need to copy that letter so that when its my turn I know exactly what to write lol

Lil Honey B said...

Good for you! That resignation was hilarious!!!!

Soulstress said...

HILARIOUS....glad u kept it professional. G'luck w/ the new job:)

Anjl Marie said...


Nana said...

Good for you...
That is so true about the 2 weeks notice.

My mother's work the managers fire your ass on payday.

Super cold.

I would put some visine in the coffee let all of them have the shits
I don't care cruel bish indeed lol

LadyLee said...

Yeah, I think you pretty much broke down how everyone feels about this.


Good post

Darius T. Williams said...

Oh my - well congrats on the new gig sir - really!

I'm thinking about taking my stick pens and making something too - I'll do it today and take a pic of it. Hell, what else is there to do on a Friday - lol.

Um, e-mail me ( in regards to the Blogger Family Reunion that's gonna be in Chicago 5/15-5/17 2009.

Lechelle said...

OMG! That was the funny things I have ever funny that I had to read it out loud to my co-worker/friend with tears in my eyes.

I am so happy you founds a new job.

God Bless!

Kitten said...

LOL. I love it. Good luck with the new job.

Brothers Blog said...

@ Stephie J - No not at all the people at the new job are great.

@ ClnMike - You know how they perceive us anyway so had to go opposite.

@ Malika - Thanks. But yeah guess he really thought I was that dumb.

@ Hershey's - Thanks man I appreciate it.

@ Angel - Feel free to copy it you have my permission. lol

@ Lil Honey - Thanks. And I'm glad you enjoyed and got a laugh.

@ Soulstress - Thanks I appreciate it.

@ Anjl Marie - Thanks a lot. And glad you're back.

@ Nana - Yeah I seen people get fired like that. Lol @ the Visine. I was trying not to do anything cold like that. lol

@ LadyLee - Yeah don't we all wish we could say it.

@ Darius - thanks fam. Yeah I always had something up there with my stickpins. lol

@ Lechelle - LOL @ you sharing with your coworker. But I'm glad I could entertain you both. Thanks.

@ Kitten - Thanks a lot.