Low Profile

As the light turned green the driver began a left hand turn. As he turned he looked right and noticed a police car stopped at the red light. As he turned fully onto the street he said to his passenger "Damn the cops." The passenger replied "what did you do? You're not drunk are you?" "No I only had 2 beers with dinner."

As the light turned green for the cop car he immediately pulled up behind the driver. The driver then said to his female passenger "I'm about to be pulled over." She replied "what? Why? how do you know?"

The driver pops a mint in his mouth right before taking off at the next green light.

As the car passed through another major intersection, the cop shined his bright light and turned on the police lights to pull over the car. As the cop pulls up the driver begins to roll down the window. The cop has his hand on his gun and flashlight in the driver's face. He motions to him without saying it to "keep his hands where he can see them."

Next comes the questions and answer session, which covers everything except the color of your mom's vaginal walls when you were delivered during birth:

Cop: "What state are these tags from?"

Driver: Ohio Sir

C: They expired last year

D: Actually they are not expired you can see that someone tried to unsuccessfully steal and remove the tag

C: Whose car is this?

D: My girlfriend's she's right here.

C: Do you have a license?

D: Yes... *reaches for ticket in his wallet* I'm driving on a ticket, but I paid it and they still haven't sent me my license. Perhaps it got lost since I've moved.

C: You didn't change your address?

D: No not yet.

C: Well where are you coming from?

D: From Home

C: Where do you live

D: Give his exact address

C: How long have you lived there

D: A few months

C: [Speaking to the Girlfriend] You do know you're supposed to change over your tags within 30 days of moving?

GF: Yes, I'm here for school.

C: How long have you lived here?

GF: 2 months.

C: Where do you live?

D: Attempts to answer..."She"

C: Give look of I'm not talking to you nigger I'm asking her...

GF: We live together

As he speaks to the couple the cop continues to shine his light into the car looking for any suspicious items, drugs, guns, etc. The cop's partner is on the passenger side with his flash light doing the same. An under cover car pulls up as they're interrogating to ask if they need assistance. The cop waves them off & the Under cover car speeds off.

C: Do you have insurance.

GF: Yes I just have to look for it.

GF begins to look through the glove compartment for the insurance card. Pulling out papers from the glove compartment she gives some to the driver to look through as well. She finds a card but it is expired.

Cop walks away and goes to run the plates and license while they continue to search for the insurance card.

GF: I must not have put the updated card in here.

D: Oh well nothing we can do now.

Cop comes back to the driver side.

C: You need to remove that placard from around your plates because you can't tell what state it's from. Also, you need to get this registration changed over as soon as possible.

**hands license to the driver**

C: You folks have a good night.

D: Thanks

As the cop car pulls away. The couple begins to notice it wasn't just one car that pulled them over, as they begin to count together aloud...

D/GF: One, Two, Three, Four... Four Cop cars Wow!

D: And there was an undercover one I saw too but they just didn't stop.

The End...


The story above is a true story I am the driver and the passenger is my girlfriend. We were pulled over for no reason 2 nights ago. We were less than 5 minutes away from our home and racially profiled.

My story is one that has been told before not only by me, but by the many black males throughout the country that face this problem on a daily basis. Yes it's 2010 and guess what? No matter what people may think, racism and racial profiling still exists. I've seen it time and time again that I've been pulled over for no other reason than the fact I'm black.

Some would say "you're lucky you didn't get a ticket." Or it could've been worse. Well I guess I say to that. If I had've gotten a ticket it may have at least made more sense to me. It may have made it more random. But the fact none of that happened well it just goes further to prove my point. But again, my plight is not greater than any other black man in America. The only difference is that mine did turn out good. I only imagine how it would've turned out if I had've had a record. I'm sure they would've searched the car. But wait, I've had that happen to me in the past same situation same girlfriend, just a different car. So, all I can say to that is this is reality.

I once said that to know when the police are behind you for a black man is like a "6th" or "spidey" sense that you're about to be pulled over. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's just that when they do get behind you just anticipate that it's going to happen and being black means that the odds are in your favor that it will happen. Irregardless, the end result is the same. You get left feeling humiliated, embarrassed and pissed all at the same time.

Side Bar: I guess the only thing they haven't done to me yet is pull me over with my son in the car. That is a day I absolutely dread. The main reason being is this. When I was my son's age I witnessed my father handcuffed, arrested, thrown into the back of a cop car and accused of a crime he didn't commit. While I stood there and got to play on the police computer in the front seat. I could only imagine the thoughts that went through my dad's head at that time. I pray I never have to experience that situation, and pray that 10 years from now when my son is driving that things will have gotten better.

But I guess that's what it's all designed to do anyway. Especially if they can't actually pop you on any type of charges. Honestly, I can go on for days and days and honestly, the handful of times I've been pulled over probably don't even equal 30% of the times my brother has been pulled over. He drives for a living so unfortunately he's had to face this on many more occasions than I have. He keeps a tally of the # of times he's been pulled over but I don't.

**Sends text to brother to see his current total # of times he's been pulled over**

So the figure I got back was a whopping 42-44 times he's been pulled over. I don't know how far back he went with that statistic but regardless that's a lot of times to be pulled over. I would say in my lifetime it's probably been less than 15, so my 30% is just about accurate. To close I'm know that I'm working on 1 day being a successful business man. But regardless of what kind of money I make in the future as Kanye said "Even if you drive a benz you still a nigga in a coup."






I know this was supposed to be a comeback blog since it's been so long since I've written, but sorry that it turned out to be a long drawn out story.


--C-Recks--

@crecks on twitter follow for more daily insight.

"N"th Degree

Well it all became official today. Like many of you, I woke up very early in the morning (6:30 L.A. time), and watched the swearing in of our first official black President. I know some of y'all don't want to remember, but we unofficially claimed Bill Clinton. Only because we never thought we'd actually live to see this day. But I digress. So I woke up to the alarm, got myself out of bed, and began watching the pomp and circumstance of the inauguration. This wasn't the first Inauguration that I'd watched. I want to say that I'd seen either Reagan's second, or George H. W. Bush's inauguration while in school, I don't remember which. Needless to say, Obama's was by far the best that I'd ever seen.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I love being an American. I'm sure at some point during the day, you may have heard one or several somebodies speak to the orderly and peaceful transition of power in the United States. Well all I have to say is THANK GOD. I mean, elections are hard enough. I couldn't imagine living in a country in which the only means of "Regime Change" would be through the plotting and scheming of the current President's demise. Nor the fact that merely speaking out against that current President could get you jailed or killed. I know that when this country was formed, the founding fathers didn't quite bestow the complete status that I now enjoy as a Black Man in America, but I still have to thank them for their enduring wisdom as to how we cycle through our elected leaders.

The next part of the day that stood out to me was the massive amount of people that showed up this event. The last estimate that I heard was 1.4 million people. May God bless each and every one of them, because frankly, I couldn't do it. I mean, I know that history is made in the moment, but I've been to D.C., and its a miserable place to get around on a regular day, let alone during this particular inauguration. I know we kind of take D.C. for granted, but it's on occasions such as this that I have to say, the people of D.C. do the rest of America a tremendous service. They hosted this massive event, and pulled it off without a hitch. Do you believe that the same would have occurred if this happened in L.A., Atlanta, Chicago, or New York City? I'd say probably not. So my hats off to D.C.

Speaking of hats, did anyone catch the massive head piece worn by the Queen of Soul Ms. Aretha Franklin? Who am I kidding, of course you saw that thing. I believe the Hubble Telescope picked up that thing. Black women, I love y'all to death. (I swear I do!). But why do some of y'all do that to yourselves? All eyes should have been on Aretha for her singing, not the giant ribbon that adorned her hat. Unfortunately I had to say to myself, you'd only see this at the inauguration of a black President. Black women of my generation (20-40 years old) I ask this of you: please leave this fashion to our mothers and grandmothers. When it comes time for you to strut around the church, please get ya church lady hat game up? That's just a personal request, you can take it for what its worth.

And now to the true purpose of this blog. I want to state that I am awe struck by President Obama and his beautiful family. I know that normally when you see well to do black families, sometimes you say that they're bourgeoisie, but that's never even crossed my mind when I've seen the Obama family. And during these inauguration festivities, the thought that really comes to mind is elegant. Not that I've never seen it before, but I honestly felt that I saw the very best of black people today. I really felt that the ceiling on how high we can rise has officially been removed. Hell, its really been blown off. And now the sky's the limit.

So with that being said, I want to make an announcement. To support our current President, and honor both him, and my own black heritage, I will no longer be using the N-word. Yes I said it, I will no longer be using it. I just feel that we should officially move up into a higher status in the world. And words like that only bind us to our unflattering past. I mean, in today's day and age you're 1,245,632 times more likely to be called the N-word by someone black as you are someone white. (Nothing scientific in my numbers, just my own personal estimate). That's a serious problem. I know that we've come up with clever acronyms and explained that using the words just reduces its power, but let's be honest everyone, as long as we're using it, it still has the same power that it held before. The only difference is that we use it now to disparage each other. And I can no longer condone myself partaking of the continued use of the word. Please don't mistake me, I don't judge anyone else who may continue using it. And I don't want to appear holier than thou, I am not. I am making a personal choice, and I just want to broadcast it to the people who, whether they agree or disagree, read my many different musings. For a further understanding of why I've made this choice, listen to "The Experience" by my man Cee-lo of the Goodie Mob.



So that's it people. A quick recap of what I found interesting about this glorious day. I pray that President Obama finds success during his term in office. And may we all grow from this experience.


-DrizaDre-

Update: Though I know I said I wasn't going to use the word, a conversation I had with my brother pulled it out of me. I know its gonna be hard, but since my man took office, I've only used it once. Once in the first 12 hours is not a bad start for me. There will be an ongoing tally in the top right hand of our blog. So check back for an update. Hopefully, I can stay at 1.

Set It Off

I recently saw the above sign while I was in the bank a couple of weeks ago. I apologize that it's not legible. But I took a quick picture and that's the best I got. I don't think they take kindly to people taking pictures while inside of the bank. But for those that can't read it the sign says:

No Hats, Hoods, or Sunglasses

In an effort to better recognize and serve our valuable clients, please remove these items before entering. Thank You.

Now when I first saw this sign I was a little taken a back. When I saw the sign I was in front of the teller cashing my check and I was actually wearing a hat and hoodie at the time. I read the sign and then looked around to make sure security wasn't about to come tap me on my shoulder and ask me to remove my hat and hood. I finished my transaction and as I exited the bank. I hadn't paid attention, but as I left I noticed that the same sign was also on the front door. I attempted to take a picture of the sign, but then I saw the security guard start walking towards me and I thought I should leave right away. Black man in a hat and hood taking pictures in a bank probably not the best idea. However, the next time I was in the bank I took the picture above.

Upon analyzing the sign I first understood why the bank chose to implement this rule. Obviously a real customer won't mind removing these items. Where as, a potential bank robber will want to stay disguised behind their hat, hood, and or sunglasses. Nevertheless, I then began to think that this sign had some unrealistic expectations. First off, the day I went into the bank the temperature may have been 10 degrees max and probably closer to 0 with the wind chill factor. Therefore, having come into the bank from the cold my initial instinct was to stay warm and not to remove my warm clothing.

Likewise, the same goes for when it's summer time. I don't wear sunglasses, but I have seen people wear them indoors and outdoors. And I personally wear hats during any season and don't usually remove them when stepping into a store or bank. Now I've never attempted any bank robbery in my life, but I'd be 100% lying if I said it's never crossed my mind. Now don't get to thinking I got a criminal mind like I'm plotting in a basement like in the movie Dead Presidents or Jason's Lyric. But we've probably all been here before. You're in front of the teller and you're cashing your measly weekly check for whatever underpaid rate your job pays. Then one of the bank employees behind you brings a bag of money out [gotta be 10-20 stacks easy] and starts counting it in the money machine. You feel like "damn why they have to do this right in front of me?" Then right there for a split second that thought runs through your head. If I hop over the counter grab a bag and be out they won't miss it. LoL.

Okay well maybe I'm the only one and if that gives me a criminal mind so be it I'm just keeping it real. Of course I would NEVER in my life act on such thoughts; however, if I were to attempt something so foolish as bank robbery I think I would be a bit more creative with my disguise. The sign mentions NO hats, hoods or sunglasses. However, in defense of the banking industry, when I went to search for images of bank robbers I was shocked. The majority of the images I noticed were of individuals wearing just that a hat, sunglasses and or hood. Go figure!

Now it was my understanding that when you're robbing a bank the object is to get in get the money and get out without being caught or identified. We all know banks have cameras every where. Even upon entering you are being monitored for security purposes. I know that with sunglasses and a hat you can blend in with the regular customers and can get the drop on security. Thus increasing your chances of making it out of the bank before security is alerted. But what about in the long run? Are you really going to get away with this crime when your face is plastered over the evening news? Isn't someone going to say that looks like so and so down the block just with glasses and a hood on?But maybe I'm the only one that would consider that before pulling this idiot move.

Disclaimer: We at Brothers' Blog do not condone nor recommend anyone to utilize any of the information provided to try to rob a bank. It is illegal and just not a smart thing to do. This information is purely for entertainment purposes. Also, if I am ever accused of such a crime this blog shall not be used as evidence to self incriminate me. LoL.

Okay so below are some of the other more popular, weird and down right stupid bank robbery disguises I found while searching online.

Presidential Mask
I guess while you're stealing dead presidents what better to wear than a mask depicting some of our dead presidents right? I know of the 4 in the pic Carter is still alive. But I still say stick to the presidents of old when going this route. I don't want to see anyone robbing a bank with a Barack Obama mask on. Don't do our first black president like that!!

Stockings
Stockings are another disguise that don't really make sense to me. I mean you can see right through them. Although they do distort your image some what, if you know who the person is you will be able to tell it's them with or without the stockings on.

The Ski Mask Way

The ski mask always seemed to be one of the best ways to disguise yourself. All you can see is the eyes and the mouth. I guess it doesn't hide what race you are though because you can clearly tell this is a black man under this ski mask.

Bandanna
The bandanna was one used back in the Wild West days. Although this guy didn't tie the other over his face but just held it to his nose. Therefore he got the cool nick name "The Runny Nose Bandit." Yeah I'm sure a threatening name like that is gonna for sure keep his man hood in tact when he reaches Federal Prison.

Cross Dresser

This is a pretty extreme disguise of choice for my man right here. He actually dressed up as an elderly female. While no one probably expected him to rob the bank, I'm not sure it was worth cross dressing for. Unless that was something he already was into. Hey I don't judge anyone do what you do. LoL. But again in prison not sure if the "cross dressing bandit" is a cool nickname to have.

Motorcycle Helmet
Now I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but this was a pretty smart disguise. You clearly can't tell who the individual under the helmet is. Let's just hope he was smart enough to use a car for a get away vehicle as opposed to his motorcycle. Bank robber with a motorcycle helmet on a motorcycle sure no one will ever suspect that.

Muslim Garment
This clever outfit shows nothing but the eyes. She or he can walk into the bank and no one can say remove those garments to them. This is part of her culture and religion. However, as you can see the person under the garments used their culture to their advantage. Not to mention you can't even tell if the person under the garment is really Muslim or not. It could just be a regular American using this outfit to just rob banks.

Duct Tape
Now this on just baffles the hell out of me. Why the hell would this idiot try to bandage himself up like a mummy using duct tape?Now I know duct tape has 1,001 uses but I can't see bank robbery disguise as one of them. He would have been better off wrapping up in toilet tissue. I hope that he shaved every hair on his head and face before suiting up in this attire. Also, I hope for his sake that he didn't get caught by authorities wearing this duct tape. Because I could see them enjoying ripping every inch of that duct tape off his head. And if he did have any hair on his head or face prior to he definitely wont after this stuff comes off.

Fake Beard

Well what better way to disguise your face than to wear the fake beard and or wig? That way the authorities can never tell it's you once you're clean shaven. This guy sorta looks like Santa Claus on vacation with that hat and sunglasses. I hope he had Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer prepped to high tail it outta there once he makes his way out with his sack of money.

Doo Rag

Now I just found this funny because my mans just kept it all the way hood. He still rocking his doo rag and he threw on some stunna shades and tried to get away with robbing this bank that's obviously inside a grocery store. And doesn't that look like a work shirt from a local mechanic shop or something he probably works at? Come on bruh. SMH!

Not sure if anyone else have seen these signs inside of banks. But perhaps this bank is just getting ahead of the game. I heard recently on the news theft and shop lifting are up due to these tough economic times. So, I'm sure bank robbery probably has increased as well. But banks have been getting robbed since their inception. And as long as banks remain around there will always be some fool that takes the mere thought of trying to get rich quick to the next level. I guess at some point they'll be adding these other items to the list of No Nos to wear inside of the bank. But regardless of what your disguise of choice is, robbing a bank is just not a smart thing to do. You will eventually get caught and bank robbery = Fed Time. So that means you're doing almost day for day in the Fed. So in the end like Just Jasmine indicated in her recent blog it's just not worth it. Crime really does not pay. Did we not learn anything from Queen Latifah and the crew? Leave the Setting it Off to the movies.

--C-Recks--

What's In a Name?

"You got a bad name like Dick Butkis" - J-Ro of the Alkaholiks from "Another Level"

For those who don't know, Dick Butkis was a Hall of Fame linebacker for the Chicago Bears. As a life long Bears fan, I've always known who he was, but it wasn't until I heard this song that I had ever analyzed his name. And yes, it had to be hard growing up with a name like that. (Kids can be so cruel). I myself have a rather unusual name. I mean, a black man in America named Andreas? Can't say that I've run across any other black man with my name. As a matter of fact, I hated my name when I was a kid. (Like 5 and 6). I wanted to change my name to Michael. Thank God I came to my senses. No offense to any Michael's in the audience, its just that I have a unique personality. And thus my unique name fits me. Plus I think its kinda cool to be named after my mom Andrea. (Yes I know I'm pandering, but hey, Christmas is coming up, and I can always use the extra brownie points. Lol).

With all of that being said, I want to nominate Heath and Deborah Campbell of Hunterdon County, NJ, as the worse parents in the world. I've never met Heath or Deborah, but after reading this, I think you'll agree with me. Heath and Deborah have three children. The oldest being a son named...(wait for it)... Adolf Hitler Campbell. I swear I'm not making this up. Young Adolf turned 3 recently. Like all parents, Heath and Deborah wanted to get him a birthday cake with his name on it. They contacted their local grocery store, and tried to place an order for the cake. But there's one simple twist. Heath and Deborah asked for his entire name to be placed on the cake. Well, needless to say, the store declined their request.

Heath and Deborah were eventually able to get the cake of their choice at a Wal-mart in Pennsylvania. I don't know how this story made it to the public square, but Heath did an interview in which he said "I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not the past." Well Heath, I must tell you that when you name your child after someone who is, almost, single handedly responsible for the murder of 6 million people, its sure to raise more than an eyebrow or two. It actually trips me out that this dude is claiming some kind of ignorance about the response to his and his wife's actions. Heath made a further mockery of himself by asserting that "There's a new President and he says that it's time for a change; well then it's time for a change. They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did."

While that might not be the case, you have to admit Heath, there's a certain racist element to naming you child Adolf Hitler. When that issue was brought up, Deborah Campbell revealed that 12 people attended the party, including several mixed children. As Heath exclaimed "If we're so racist, then why would I have them come into my home?" Well Heath, I can't explain the logic behind that decision. However I will say this about your "possibly" racist tendencies. Its bad enough that you named you son Adolf Hitler Campbell. But when your wife gave birth to a daughter a year later, you and Deborah decided to name her................(wait for it).................. JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. (I shit you not). Now Heath, can I be real with you? I might have been able to let you slide with the whole Adolf thing. Not my preference, but to each his own. But picking "Aryan Nation" as your daughter's middle name; well, that just slaps of an agenda. A RACIST one! Their third child's name is Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. I can't say that there's anything overtly racist about that name, but given Heath and Deborah's track record, I will be doing some investigating.

Heath said that they named their son Adolf Hitler because "no one else in the world will have that name." Well Heath, you're probably wrong. I'm sure that somewhere in this world of 8 billion people, some other racist MF had the very same idea as you. They just didn't call their local grocery store and try and order a birthday cake with his name on it. I understand the concept unique names, but can we draw the line somewhere? I blame Hollywood for this crap. You know, the people naming their children such things as Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter), Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon's son), Diva Muffin and Moon Unit (Frank Zappa's daughters), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee's son), and Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani's daughter).

Again, I understand the need to want to name your children something unique. But as a parent, you're supposed to put your children's needs ahead of your own personal agenda. And there's no way you can't say that young Adolf wouldn't have an easier time going through life as Michael Campbell.

-DrizaDre-