Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Set It Off

I recently saw the above sign while I was in the bank a couple of weeks ago. I apologize that it's not legible. But I took a quick picture and that's the best I got. I don't think they take kindly to people taking pictures while inside of the bank. But for those that can't read it the sign says:

No Hats, Hoods, or Sunglasses

In an effort to better recognize and serve our valuable clients, please remove these items before entering. Thank You.

Now when I first saw this sign I was a little taken a back. When I saw the sign I was in front of the teller cashing my check and I was actually wearing a hat and hoodie at the time. I read the sign and then looked around to make sure security wasn't about to come tap me on my shoulder and ask me to remove my hat and hood. I finished my transaction and as I exited the bank. I hadn't paid attention, but as I left I noticed that the same sign was also on the front door. I attempted to take a picture of the sign, but then I saw the security guard start walking towards me and I thought I should leave right away. Black man in a hat and hood taking pictures in a bank probably not the best idea. However, the next time I was in the bank I took the picture above.

Upon analyzing the sign I first understood why the bank chose to implement this rule. Obviously a real customer won't mind removing these items. Where as, a potential bank robber will want to stay disguised behind their hat, hood, and or sunglasses. Nevertheless, I then began to think that this sign had some unrealistic expectations. First off, the day I went into the bank the temperature may have been 10 degrees max and probably closer to 0 with the wind chill factor. Therefore, having come into the bank from the cold my initial instinct was to stay warm and not to remove my warm clothing.

Likewise, the same goes for when it's summer time. I don't wear sunglasses, but I have seen people wear them indoors and outdoors. And I personally wear hats during any season and don't usually remove them when stepping into a store or bank. Now I've never attempted any bank robbery in my life, but I'd be 100% lying if I said it's never crossed my mind. Now don't get to thinking I got a criminal mind like I'm plotting in a basement like in the movie Dead Presidents or Jason's Lyric. But we've probably all been here before. You're in front of the teller and you're cashing your measly weekly check for whatever underpaid rate your job pays. Then one of the bank employees behind you brings a bag of money out [gotta be 10-20 stacks easy] and starts counting it in the money machine. You feel like "damn why they have to do this right in front of me?" Then right there for a split second that thought runs through your head. If I hop over the counter grab a bag and be out they won't miss it. LoL.

Okay well maybe I'm the only one and if that gives me a criminal mind so be it I'm just keeping it real. Of course I would NEVER in my life act on such thoughts; however, if I were to attempt something so foolish as bank robbery I think I would be a bit more creative with my disguise. The sign mentions NO hats, hoods or sunglasses. However, in defense of the banking industry, when I went to search for images of bank robbers I was shocked. The majority of the images I noticed were of individuals wearing just that a hat, sunglasses and or hood. Go figure!

Now it was my understanding that when you're robbing a bank the object is to get in get the money and get out without being caught or identified. We all know banks have cameras every where. Even upon entering you are being monitored for security purposes. I know that with sunglasses and a hat you can blend in with the regular customers and can get the drop on security. Thus increasing your chances of making it out of the bank before security is alerted. But what about in the long run? Are you really going to get away with this crime when your face is plastered over the evening news? Isn't someone going to say that looks like so and so down the block just with glasses and a hood on?But maybe I'm the only one that would consider that before pulling this idiot move.

Disclaimer: We at Brothers' Blog do not condone nor recommend anyone to utilize any of the information provided to try to rob a bank. It is illegal and just not a smart thing to do. This information is purely for entertainment purposes. Also, if I am ever accused of such a crime this blog shall not be used as evidence to self incriminate me. LoL.

Okay so below are some of the other more popular, weird and down right stupid bank robbery disguises I found while searching online.

Presidential Mask
I guess while you're stealing dead presidents what better to wear than a mask depicting some of our dead presidents right? I know of the 4 in the pic Carter is still alive. But I still say stick to the presidents of old when going this route. I don't want to see anyone robbing a bank with a Barack Obama mask on. Don't do our first black president like that!!

Stockings are another disguise that don't really make sense to me. I mean you can see right through them. Although they do distort your image some what, if you know who the person is you will be able to tell it's them with or without the stockings on.

The Ski Mask Way
The ski mask always seemed to be one of the best ways to disguise yourself. All you can see is the eyes and the mouth. I guess it doesn't hide what race you are though because you can clearly tell this is a black man under this ski mask.

The bandanna was one used back in the Wild West days. Although this guy didn't tie the other over his face but just held it to his nose. Therefore he got the cool nick name "The Runny Nose Bandit." Yeah I'm sure a threatening name like that is gonna for sure keep his man hood in tact when he reaches Federal Prison.

Cross Dresser
This is a pretty extreme disguise of choice for my man right here. He actually dressed up as an elderly female. While no one probably expected him to rob the bank, I'm not sure it was worth cross dressing for. Unless that was something he already was into. Hey I don't judge anyone do what you do. LoL. But again in prison not sure if the "cross dressing bandit" is a cool nickname to have.

Motorcycle Helmet
Now I've never ridden a motorcycle before, but this was a pretty smart disguise. You clearly can't tell who the individual under the helmet is. Let's just hope he was smart enough to use a car for a get away vehicle as opposed to his motorcycle. Bank robber with a motorcycle helmet on a motorcycle sure no one will ever suspect that.

Muslim Garment
This clever outfit shows nothing but the eyes. She or he can walk into the bank and no one can say remove those garments to them. This is part of her culture and religion. However, as you can see the person under the garments used their culture to their advantage. Not to mention you can't even tell if the person under the garment is really Muslim or not. It could just be a regular American using this outfit to just rob banks.

Duct Tape
Now this on just baffles the hell out of me. Why the hell would this idiot try to bandage himself up like a mummy using duct tape?Now I know duct tape has 1,001 uses but I can't see bank robbery disguise as one of them. He would have been better off wrapping up in toilet tissue. I hope that he shaved every hair on his head and face before suiting up in this attire. Also, I hope for his sake that he didn't get caught by authorities wearing this duct tape. Because I could see them enjoying ripping every inch of that duct tape off his head. And if he did have any hair on his head or face prior to he definitely wont after this stuff comes off.

Fake Beard
Well what better way to disguise your face than to wear the fake beard and or wig? That way the authorities can never tell it's you once you're clean shaven. This guy sorta looks like Santa Claus on vacation with that hat and sunglasses. I hope he had Rudolph and the rest of the reindeer prepped to high tail it outta there once he makes his way out with his sack of money.

Doo Rag
Now I just found this funny because my mans just kept it all the way hood. He still rocking his doo rag and he threw on some stunna shades and tried to get away with robbing this bank that's obviously inside a grocery store. And doesn't that look like a work shirt from a local mechanic shop or something he probably works at? Come on bruh. SMH!

Not sure if anyone else have seen these signs inside of banks. But perhaps this bank is just getting ahead of the game. I heard recently on the news theft and shop lifting are up due to these tough economic times. So, I'm sure bank robbery probably has increased as well. But banks have been getting robbed since their inception. And as long as banks remain around there will always be some fool that takes the mere thought of trying to get rich quick to the next level. I guess at some point they'll be adding these other items to the list of No Nos to wear inside of the bank. But regardless of what your disguise of choice is, robbing a bank is just not a smart thing to do. You will eventually get caught and bank robbery = Fed Time. So that means you're doing almost day for day in the Fed. So in the end like Just Jasmine indicated in her recent blog it's just not worth it. Crime really does not pay. Did we not learn anything from Queen Latifah and the crew? Leave the Setting it Off to the movies.



Jarrai said...

hahahahah..funny duck tape guy, he needs and award!!!

Nice blog...just stumbled in here but glad i did...very witty :)

Teems said...

Certainly entertainment this was...

That is a very good observation. I guess all that extra gear is for the films!

mrs. mary mack said...

If I hear about someone robbing a bank in an Obama mask I will find the idiot and blugeon them to death myself! And the dude with the duct tape is hilarious!

Just Jasmine said...

You have me LMAO @ this one esp the one with the duck tape. Just stoopid. I did think about the muslim attire one before b/c you can just take it off and you'd never know.

You missed some good movies though
Inside man
that sort of disney movies when they dressed up as pregnant dolls and robbed the bank.

The Jaded NYer said...

Really? Duct tape?? Damn; he must've really really needed the money, 'cause that's some desperate, stupid ish right there!

reedwrites said...

I just want to know one thing...

How'd he get the duct tape off??

For real, you know he was missing some skin and eyebrows after that.

Sheliza said...

i just saw one of those signs recently at my bank. I usually walk in with my sunglasses on the top of my head. Hmm, I wonder if that counts as wearing sunglasses? I guess I will have to leave them in the car next time before I get hauled out!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I've never seen this sing or one like it at my bank but I can understand why they posted it.

People will try anything.

Miss.Stefanie said...

Havent seen these at the banks over here in Los Angeles....but I adore that movie, "Se it off" and I htink it was pretty clever in a way. Duct tape? Yeah Im with the person above, howd he get it off.

I dunno. My mom and I were talking about it, and she said, "Desperate times calls for desperate measures". So true. Some people are in the shit and will do anything to survive...after all, it is the survival of the fittest.

Super Dave Van Buren said...

Damn now I gotta cancel my plans to rob a bank with an Obama mask. Do rag and stunna shades it is.. lol

Steph said...

I guess Ive thought of robbing a bank before.. but not when Im in the bank. lol.. When Im thinking that im so broke and how I can get money!

But I know Id never ever do it!

Soulstress said...

that guy w/ the doo rag and shades need to be slapped hahahaha...he look like he just came from work and decided to rob a bank..smdh!

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

duct tape?????
aww aww aww
that should hurt when taking off
almost like waxing your face

RealHustla said...

Funny and very informative.

I think some people are just crazy desperate. That would explain the duct tape fool. He probably has a whole lot going on outside of bank robbing.

Jillian said...

oooh i got one even better for you..

i saw this story months ago...couldn't believe it LOL

CC said...

the duct tape guy was crazy.
I will be hot like fire if I start seeing obama bankers but i wouldn't be surprised.
i haven't seen those signs yet but i understand why the banks need them. times are tough and having just got my car broken into i'm with them!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

LOL. That's why I heart y'all, you make me laugh and post the most interesting perspective on things.

ToshaRenelle said...

Can't lie...the Muslim garment had me rolling!

Brothers Blog said...

@ Jarrai - Thanks for the visit come back. And yeah duct tape was too extreme.

@ Teems - lol glad you were entertained.

@ Mrs. Mary Mack - LMAO at you blugeoning someone to death. lol

@ Just Jasmine - those part of your top 5 bank robbery movies? lol

@ Jaded - Thanks for the visit. And yeah he was definitely stupid for the duct tape.

@ Readwrites - Yes I wouldn't want to see his face after disgarding the duct tape.

@ Sheliza - Yep leave your shades in the car unless you wanna deal with bank security.

@ Tee - Yep some people will do anything.

@ Miss.Stefanie - Yep that was a good movie. And its definitely desperate times.

@ Superdave - Lmao. Yeah people may be a lil upset on that obama mask. lol

@ Steph - I don't know if I'm worse or you are. Being in the bank is a crime of opportunity. You on some premeditated stuff there. lol

@ Soulstress - that's what I said guess he saw that childsupport hit his check and said fuck it. lol

@ MissDef - yeah I'm good on the face wax or duct tape.

@ RealHustla - Duct tape? He had to be beyond desperate.

@ Jillian - Yeah I seen the thong bandits before. That was ridiculous. Them fools had to be high, horny, and drunk. Would have used them too, but I was just doing bank robberies.

@ Curvy Girl - Thanks so much for the love <3. LoL. And glad we could make you laugh.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Well, at the one I work at we got the sign up.
And since you would be surprised how last minute someone decides they want to rob the bank. Use what they got on.

The guy with duct tape was extreme and quite frankly they should have seen him coming.
I would have been cracking up.

Aretha said...

Commenter 21...I just made my self imposed cut off...whew. lol

The disclaimer was hillarious. Hopefully you won't be sued as someone in LA or Chicago goes on a bank robbing spree after reading this. :)

malika the m.i.l.f. said...

my sis wanted to rob a bank and she asked me about it. i told her "hell NO!" she responded with "but they did it in set it off and dead presidents." my response, "did you see the end of those movies?" in set it off 75% of the perps were killed and in dead presidents everyone either ended up dead or in jail. i have yet to see it work out for the best. except for those white chicks the barbie bandits.

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

A friend of mine robbed a bank with a dude from hs and an older guy...they're all currently locked up! :( lol I think robbing a bank crosses everyone's minds but I would be way to scared to try to it! lol

Anonymous said...

Lol! Yeah I've considered robbing a bank, not for real but I hate when they bring the money out of their registers and give me like 1/100 of the pile... I'm on a student budget you know? Lol

Loving the masks! But not the Muslim one... that just scares me...

T x

Anonymous said...

Oh! One more thing... Lol. I wear glasses. I got transition glasses that get darker in the sun and takes a few minutes to fade when you get inside. So do you think they'd make me take off my glasses???

Gem said...

The duct-tape guy must have realized all of a sudden that he owed, his life had to be at stake I just know it.

Then to follow that up with the do-rag guy...*faints*