Live and in Stereo(type)

Last Wednesday, our first black Attorney General gave a speech honoring black history month. In the speech, Eric Holder made this pronouncement: "Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting, in things racial, we have always been, and I believe continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards." He went on to say that race issues continue to be a topic of political discussion, but "we, as average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about race." I found this statement by Mr. Holder to be rather interesting considering that for the better part of the last three months, the vast majority have been celebrating and discussing the fact that we now have the first black President in American history. Whether you are in favor of it or not, Barack Obama's race has been a central theme of a lot of our recent political discussion. Is that appropriate? Is that the kind of conversation that Mr. Holder feels as though we are supposed to be having? Well, if you've been a fan of this blog for any significant amount of time, you know that I'm the political of the Brothers Williams. And I feel as though I've done more than my part to discuss race. But just in case when Mr. Holder was referring to me when he said that we are a nation of cowards, let me do my part to open the lines of communication with the many races of America. (Don't worry, I will handle it with my usual delicate and witty self).

The first place I want to start deals with the recent Hoopla surrounding a particular cartoon. On the very same day that Mr. Holder gave his speech, I came across an article about a cartoon that was supposed to be under scrutiny. I didn't read the article, but the lead of the article had the cartoon. I looked at the cartoon. In case you haven't seen it, here it is:



Now I don't know about you, but I laughed when I saw this. I mean, the people who wrote the stimulus package were no smarter than chimps. Hilarious. Later that day, it was brought to my attention that Reverend Al (Sharpton) was upset about the photo, and his perception that it was a blatant racial attack against President Obama. Now anyone who has lived on this Earth for at least 20 years should be very familiar with Rev. Al's antics. So my immediate reaction was one of indifference. But I had to stop and think for a second. Was the cartoon meant to depict President Obama as a monkey? I couldn't exactly come to that conclusion, so I had to run it past the one person who I knew would surely be offended. My best friend.

So later that night, I showed her the cartoon. And without fail, she immediately was pissed. So quickly, in fact, that it actually surprised me. After a 20 minute discussion about it, I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I mean, in no way did I draw the connection between the chimp with two bullet holes in him, and President Obama. So my new question became, is there something wrong with me? I am a pretty laid back kind of guy. I never thought it would take a lot to offend me, but I don't know any more.

Do you all remember the Don Imus fiasco? That was when the radio host referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as "Nappy Headed Hoes." When that controversy first broke, I immediately remembered watching their game against the Tennessee Volunteers, and I myself remarked at how the Rutgers women were a little rough looking in comparison to Candace Parker and the Volunteers. Well needless to say, this particular controversy had my best friend up in arms. We had many a conversation in which I was judged to be uncaring to the plight of African-American women. And that's not what it was at all. I just feel that we as black people need to stand up for once, and admit some things about ourselves. We also need to stop being so overly sensitive about subjects. I hope that when Mr. Holder referred to Americans as cowards, he was, without implicitly saying so, referring to black people as well. Much like with this monkey cartoon, we don't have to allow ourselves to be offended. Sometimes, things are as simple as being a cartoon about the people who wrote the stimulus package being as smart as chimps. (By the way, though President Obama called for the stimulus package, the authors of said stimulus package were the United States Congress).

So I want to contribute to the national discussion about race. I want to talk about stereotypes. Starting with my people of course:

1.) Black People love watermelon and fried chicken. Personally I can't stand watermelon. (Or any other melon for that matter). So to anyone who thinks that all black people like watermelon, you now know one who doesn't. Fried chicken on the other hand, I have to admit that I'm guilty of that one. Its not an essential component of my diet, but I am down with the yard bird. (That's what my father calls it).

2.) One of the biggest hurdles to us as black people is the stereotype that we are a bunch of criminals. I have to be honest about this one, we are the source of this stereotype. I myself included. Because this is a snitch free blog, I'm not gonna go into details, but I too have found myself on the wrong side of the law. (Rightfully so). Since then I have changed my life, and I consider myself to be a productive member of society, but that isn't the case for all my fellow brothas. I say that with this stereotype, don't judge a book by its cover. Because the person that you judge as being "safe" just might be the person who's quickest to harm you, and the person who you cross the street to avoid just might be the one who would come to your rescue. Think about it.

3.) Black men make a bunch of babies that they don't take care of. This stereotype is one that I take offense to. Not so much that it is completely untrue, because let's face it, there are far too many brothas who do walk away from their responsibilities as fathers. It offends me because the brothas who do the right things are still lumped into this category. As I said in my last blog, I had a daughter. And if I was given the chance, there's no way on God's green Earth, that she would have gone without knowing me, and being provided for by me. Even still, I have encountered people who are under the impression that I have children scattered across America. NO! Never have, never will. My parents raised me to know that any child I bring into this world, I will take care of. And if not, my father threatened to take me out himself. I just wish more fathers were around to make that very same threat to their sons.

4.) Along the same vane, black men are a bunch of players. Once again this stereotype doesn't fit me. I Love women, don't get me wrong. But for as much as I Love women, I don't think there's anything as good as having one woman who's down for you, and vice versa. The whole "player" lifestyle doesn't seem too appealing. Now unfortunately I am still single, partly due to my own choices, partly due to some circumstance I have found myself thrown into. But regardless, I'm still on the hunt for that one true lasting relationship. And once I find it, I promise you that I won't throw it away on the search for indiscriminate sex.

5.) All black people have rhythm or all black people can dance. Sorry to say, and I am ashamed of this one, I can't dance to save my life. It hasn't always been the case. Back when the running man, and the Roger Rabbit were popular dances, I was like Omarion on the dance floor. However as time has gone on, I just lost the "rhythm" that's supposedly in my genes. Sad thing is that I haven't stopped dancing. I've just got this gangsta bounce or sway that I do. Something I picked up during my many club visits in Atlanta. My best friend says I dance like her grandfather D.B. So whenever we go dancing she always says "Do the D.B. for me". One day I'm gonna get my dancing weight up. Either that or I'll be as old as her grandfather, and my dancing won't be so out of style anymore. Lol.

6.) All black men are well endowed. This stereotype, well I Love it. I mean, what a wonderful thing to walk around and have everyone believe about you. Well, I'm gonna keep it ALL the way real with ya'll. Yes its true. Lol. Moving on...

Now that I've discussed some stereotypes about my people, I want to discuss some about other races. When I say what I'm about to say, I'm just being honest about what my perceptions are about some other races. If you happen to be of that particular race, I invite you to comment and talk about how those particular stereotype makes you feel. Considering that the point of this blog is to open the line of communication, I want to be honest about my feeling:

White People
My biggest stereotype about white people is that they do a lot of crazy shit. Shit like bungee jumping, skydiving, swimming with sharks, you know, shit like that. I have two very good white friends, and they recently invited me snow boarding. Its not my thing. But for the sake of being adventurous with them, I might do it. They say being black on a day to day basis is adventurous enough. (Dodging cops and what not). I wonder if that's why we aren't the thrill seeking type? Or are we just too logical to do those things. Hell, I'm sure that some of you who read this blog are thrill seeking black people, so who knows.

Asians
My stereotype for Asians is that ya'll can't drive worth a damn. Well, that and that you're smart as hell. Since I have yet to find an illiterate Asian, I'll tackle the driving thing. I have driven, literally, from coast to coast, and I find that I disproportionately find myself have near misses with Asian drivers. I can't quite explain why. (Please help me with this one).

Native Americans
Indians are a bunch of drunks. This one is, unfortunately, one that I have encountered first hand. I dated an Indian girl last year, and oh my God. She and her friend that I hung out with could drink anyone under the table. I'm not an alcoholic, but it does run in my family. So I can hold my liquor... most of the time. I once even out drank some Irish guys in Connecticut. But not once could I hang with her and her crew. The worst part about this stereotype is how many of them I have come across who have more or less drank their lives away. I'm not saying that this stereotype applies to every Indian, but I believe they are genetically susceptible to alcoholism.

Muslims
My stereotype of Muslims are that they are religious zealots. I guess that this is the lasting image of 9/11. I know that not all Muslim are that extreme, but to me, there's something about Islam that appeals to people who are more, how do you say, disillusioned with the world. I mean, look at Nation of Islam muslims. Even they, without the violence of course, are anti establishment. Hopefully, at some point, the 90% of Muslims who are not fundamentalist will stand up against the 10% who fly airplanes into buildings. But until that day, I will be continue to be suspicious of men with long beards getting on an airplane. Just being honest.

So that's what I got. I have officially kicked off the Brothers' Blog discussion about race. If you have any comment, feel free to post. Please be courteous in your responses, but let's be honest as well. I believe that we can have an adult conversation about who we are as Americans. Let's just all remember that no matter what ethnicity we put before Americans, its the second part of the hyphenation that's important.

-DrizaDre-


P.S. I had been doing well with not using the N-word. I had been on 3 for a while. But while listening to Deep Cover by Dr. Dre and Snoop, I let one fly. My brother says it counts, but you guys let me know.

"N"th Degree

Well it all became official today. Like many of you, I woke up very early in the morning (6:30 L.A. time), and watched the swearing in of our first official black President. I know some of y'all don't want to remember, but we unofficially claimed Bill Clinton. Only because we never thought we'd actually live to see this day. But I digress. So I woke up to the alarm, got myself out of bed, and began watching the pomp and circumstance of the inauguration. This wasn't the first Inauguration that I'd watched. I want to say that I'd seen either Reagan's second, or George H. W. Bush's inauguration while in school, I don't remember which. Needless to say, Obama's was by far the best that I'd ever seen.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I love being an American. I'm sure at some point during the day, you may have heard one or several somebodies speak to the orderly and peaceful transition of power in the United States. Well all I have to say is THANK GOD. I mean, elections are hard enough. I couldn't imagine living in a country in which the only means of "Regime Change" would be through the plotting and scheming of the current President's demise. Nor the fact that merely speaking out against that current President could get you jailed or killed. I know that when this country was formed, the founding fathers didn't quite bestow the complete status that I now enjoy as a Black Man in America, but I still have to thank them for their enduring wisdom as to how we cycle through our elected leaders.

The next part of the day that stood out to me was the massive amount of people that showed up this event. The last estimate that I heard was 1.4 million people. May God bless each and every one of them, because frankly, I couldn't do it. I mean, I know that history is made in the moment, but I've been to D.C., and its a miserable place to get around on a regular day, let alone during this particular inauguration. I know we kind of take D.C. for granted, but it's on occasions such as this that I have to say, the people of D.C. do the rest of America a tremendous service. They hosted this massive event, and pulled it off without a hitch. Do you believe that the same would have occurred if this happened in L.A., Atlanta, Chicago, or New York City? I'd say probably not. So my hats off to D.C.

Speaking of hats, did anyone catch the massive head piece worn by the Queen of Soul Ms. Aretha Franklin? Who am I kidding, of course you saw that thing. I believe the Hubble Telescope picked up that thing. Black women, I love y'all to death. (I swear I do!). But why do some of y'all do that to yourselves? All eyes should have been on Aretha for her singing, not the giant ribbon that adorned her hat. Unfortunately I had to say to myself, you'd only see this at the inauguration of a black President. Black women of my generation (20-40 years old) I ask this of you: please leave this fashion to our mothers and grandmothers. When it comes time for you to strut around the church, please get ya church lady hat game up? That's just a personal request, you can take it for what its worth.

And now to the true purpose of this blog. I want to state that I am awe struck by President Obama and his beautiful family. I know that normally when you see well to do black families, sometimes you say that they're bourgeoisie, but that's never even crossed my mind when I've seen the Obama family. And during these inauguration festivities, the thought that really comes to mind is elegant. Not that I've never seen it before, but I honestly felt that I saw the very best of black people today. I really felt that the ceiling on how high we can rise has officially been removed. Hell, its really been blown off. And now the sky's the limit.

So with that being said, I want to make an announcement. To support our current President, and honor both him, and my own black heritage, I will no longer be using the N-word. Yes I said it, I will no longer be using it. I just feel that we should officially move up into a higher status in the world. And words like that only bind us to our unflattering past. I mean, in today's day and age you're 1,245,632 times more likely to be called the N-word by someone black as you are someone white. (Nothing scientific in my numbers, just my own personal estimate). That's a serious problem. I know that we've come up with clever acronyms and explained that using the words just reduces its power, but let's be honest everyone, as long as we're using it, it still has the same power that it held before. The only difference is that we use it now to disparage each other. And I can no longer condone myself partaking of the continued use of the word. Please don't mistake me, I don't judge anyone else who may continue using it. And I don't want to appear holier than thou, I am not. I am making a personal choice, and I just want to broadcast it to the people who, whether they agree or disagree, read my many different musings. For a further understanding of why I've made this choice, listen to "The Experience" by my man Cee-lo of the Goodie Mob.



So that's it people. A quick recap of what I found interesting about this glorious day. I pray that President Obama finds success during his term in office. And may we all grow from this experience.


-DrizaDre-

Update: Though I know I said I wasn't going to use the word, a conversation I had with my brother pulled it out of me. I know its gonna be hard, but since my man took office, I've only used it once. Once in the first 12 hours is not a bad start for me. There will be an ongoing tally in the top right hand of our blog. So check back for an update. Hopefully, I can stay at 1.

Got M.I.L.F.??

Welcome to another M.I.L.F. Friday. In this weekly segment we will be highlighting women that we feel fit into the category of M.I.L.F. Again, if you're not familiar with the term M.I.L.F. keep in mind it is an acronym for (Mother I'd Like To F____). Feel free to fill in your own F-word there. But my personal criteria for a woman to qualify as a M.I.L.F. would be that she would have to be an attractive lady over the age of 35 with at least 1 child. So here's this week's lineup...

Thandie Newton - Age 37

If you ask my brother his dream girl would be a beautiful black woman with a British accent. Don't ask me why ask him. lol. Well I know for sure that Thandie Newton fits into this category. Born and raised in London, Newton began acting in the early 90's but had no note worthy roles. It wasn't until a role the 1994 movie "Interview with the Vampire" that she came on the radar. She later on went to play roles in movies like "Jefferson in Paris," and "Gridlock'd." And no man can forget her role in "Beloved," the movie adaptation of Toni Morrison's book. In that movie she appears naked and pregnant in one particular scene. Other movie roles included: "Mission Impossible II," "The Truth About Charlie," "Crash," "Pursuit of Happyness," "Norbit," "Run Fatboy Run," and most recently in "W" as Condoleeza Rice. Also she played in about 13 episodes of the TV show E.R. At age 37 Thandie has 2 daughters ages 8 and 4 and you probably would never even be able to tell she's had children.

Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas - Age 37

In 1992 when the group TLC jumped on the music scene with their single "Aint Too Proud to Beg," the group became instant sex symbols. Also wearing the colorful condoms everywhere was a big help with that as well. But even though the group wore baggy clothes which were the trend back then they were still sexy. Well when their 2nd album CrazySexyCool dropped they let go of the baggy clothes and wore more feminine attire. It was at that time where I chose my favorite of the 3 which was Chilli. The group went on to record 2 more albums and sell millions more. Unfortunately tragedy struck when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez was killed in a car accident in 2002. Chilli is still working on her solo career. She's also acted in movies such as "House Party 3," "Hav Plenty," and "Snow Day." Her acting resume also includes shows such as: "That 70's Show," "The Parkers," and "Strong Medicine." Of course we all know Chilli was romantically involved with Usher until he released his "Confessions" album in 2004. Believe it or not Chilli has an 11 year old son with producer Dallas Austin.

Sharon Leal - Age 37

Ironically today October 17th is Sharon Leal's 37th B-day. Well happy birthday Sharon as a gift allow me to induct you onto our M.I.L.F. List. Sharon began acting on the soap opera "The Guiding Light." She then moved on to act in the TV shows "Legacy," "Boston Public," "Las Vegas," "LAX," and "CSI: Miami." Leal has also appeared in movies such as "Dream Girls," "Why did I get Married," and "This Christmas." She will also be in the last Bernie Mac Movie "Soul Men" that is due out soon. Leal has worked both in front of and behind the camera directing episodes of such shows as; "Sister Sister," "The Game," "One on One," "Half and Half," "Girlfriends," and "The Parenthood." Leal has a 4 year old daughter.

To Be Continued...

--C-Recks--

No Butts About It

I was listening to the radio yesterday and they happen to play a throw back song. Now I'm an avid Hip Hop listener. But some of this new stuff today I can't even categorize as Hip Hop (Soulja Boy we still got unfinished business). So when I hear a classic song it just takes me back to an era when the music was pure. Well on this particular day I heard the beat come on I thought oh hell no it can't be!! Then I heard the talking at the beginning of the intro and I simply had to laugh as I could envision the video in my head. And as soon as it finished I heard the rapper begin the verse with four words which right away told what the rest of the rest of the song would be talking about. Anyone from my era remembers these four famous words...

"I Like Big Butts..."

I'm sure that's all I had to say and most of you were probably able to fill in the rest of the lyrics probably up until the hook. LoL. But in 1992 when Sir-Mix-A-Lot released "Baby Got Back" he probably never imagined the impact this song would have. I'm sure long before 1992 men (especially black men) had been admiring women's rear ends. But he brought to light something that was obviously on a lot of men's minds but they weren't bold enough to say. Let alone bold enough to write a whole song about it.

Well I was only 12 back in 1992. And as appealing as the video (which was banned by MTV for a short time) for "Baby Got Back" was I had really just gotten into the full mode of liking and pursuing girls. My brother and I used to joke about certain girls belonging to what we considered the BBC (Big Booty Club), but unlike some 12-14 year old girls now a days none of the girls at our school really had this "round thing" that Mix-A-Lot mentioned. Well it wasn't until I moved back to Chicago in 1994 and started High School that what Mix-A-Lot spoke of came more into focus. It was during that High School career that I learned a new term to describe a woman's physique. This term was "Thick." Perhaps it was new to me because I had never heard the term while in California.

The problem I had with the term "Thick" back then, which has gotten worse now is that there was no real criteria for someone to be classified or classify themselves as thick. My assumption of what thick meant was that you maybe had a little extra weight in the areas of the thighs, and booty. For those of us men that don't always go for the skinny model type females this is very appealing. Giving us something extra to... well you get the point. Just think of the term "more cushion for the pushin." However, I think the term thick somehow began getting misused. No offense to anyone, but some women began referring to themselves as "Thick" but were in fact a little or sometimes even a lot more than thick. But regardless, the fact is that thin is definitely no longer in. I can't count how many times I've heard or seen females that are slim or thin saying they're trying to get thick. Or they want a booty. I remember when my cousin moved from Chicago down to Atlanta. She was as slim as can be hence why we put the [Lil'] in front of her name. Well within a couple of years she was no longer the skinny young girl we all knew she had indeed gotten a bit thick. Could be that down south food I'm not sure but if you go down south you will definitely see ass for days and cheeks for weeks. LoL.

Now typically the thickness and the big "sometimes ghetto" booties are seen on black women. That was until a new phenomenon (as rapper Ludacris referred to it) occurred. And some how White girls even started getting these booties. Black men had no clue what was occurring was it something in the water or what? I remember when most white women suffered from the Nassatall (No Ass At All) disease. But my brother and I think that we figured out what it is though. Yep you can find one in just about every suburb and city. It's tasty goodness is just as addictive as crack. Yes the beloved Starbucks is our theory as to why white girls are getting thicker. Think about it, they are the main consumers of Starbucks, they probably drink it at least daily or possibly more. They hang out at the stores with their laptops sipping they're Caramel Macchiato Grande size in a Venti Cup with extra whip cream (yeah that's the only thing I've drank from there before and it's damn good I must admit). But usually white guys aren't attracted to big butts. So who are the white girls trying to attract? Hmmm? You be the judge: conspiracy theory or true fact? Check out ya girl Kim Kardashian. LoL.

(Starbucks in hand)

(With her Black man [Reggie Bush])

Well my brother recently told me that a white girl asked him this question? "Why do black guys like Big Butts?" This prompted a short discussion between him and I about this topic. We both agreed that in our opinion although big butts are great, they're not the end all to be all. We much prefer that a female's body simply be well proportioned. Basically if you're a slimmer female and really have no booty there is nothing wrong with that as your booty matches your body type. But to be extra slim but then have a humongous booty is just a little disproportionate. The opposite also holds true. Now I know E-40 mentioned the booty big enough to sit a cup on in the Lil' Jon song "Snap Yo Fingaz;" however, I can hold my own cup thank you very much. LoL.

So really, what is the draw?

We all know that men are visual creatures where as women are more turned on in the mental. So any man (black man especially)would be lying if he didn't admit that a big butt is nice to look at. Also, he'd be lying if he says he doesn't check out women's butts. In fact it's probably the opposite he probably doesn't miss an opportunity to get a glimpse as a female walks past. Just waiting for that opportunity to do like Craig and Smokey looking at Mrs. Parker in Friday "Daaaaamn!" LoL. The sad thing is that some men feel that even if the woman's face and or appearance aren't too appealing that as long as they are thick and or have a big butt that it can make up for the fact that they aren't attractive in the face. Now I may offend some men and possibly have a lynch mob waiting on my after I say this next statement, but I have to be honest. Although they have some of the biggest butts in in the business, Buffy the Body and Deelishis (Flavor of Love) both fit into this category. They are not the best of lookers. So I'm sorry me personally, I'll take a pretty face and little to no booty any day over an ugly or unattractive face and a huge butt. If I can barely stand to look you in your face what's the point? Am I just going to just talk to exclusively to your booty? Can I have an intelligent conversation with your booty? Do we sleep head to foot and I get to wake up looking at your booty instead of your face? When we get married will the minister say I now pronounce you man and booty, then I unveil the booty revealing a nice lil' thong? I know I'm getting a little extreme but you basically get the gist of what I'm saying.

(Buffy the Body)

(Deelishis)

Well the bottom line is that all women are beautiful in their own regards. But there is no real explanation or reason as to why men [especially black men] like big butts. You can try to be theoretical and go back to ancient African civilizations and say it has something to do with a woman's child bearing ability. Or you can simply say men are horny freaks and their admiration of big butts is simply proof of that. Either way neither explanation will change the fact that at the end of the day if a woman walks past with a big butt that a man will break his neck to get just the slightest glimpse of what kind of junk she has in her trunk. Also, it won't stop him from picking up the latest issue of King Magazine. And if you have never seen an issue, lets just say men aren't buying them to read the articles. Although I'm sure there is pure journalism excellence inside each issue.

--C-Recks--

Got M.I.L.F.?

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Trick or Treat??

Rappers are known for introducing new slang and terms into our culture through their music. Now being a rapper I can usually let most of the ignorant things slide for the most part. Soldier Boy will never get a pass though someone better Tell em' (but that's a future blog). But there is a saying that I have been hearing in some of the latest songs on the radio lately. And I can't lie for some reason I'm a little disturbed by it. To most it's not really major and I guess I should probably be more in an uproar about the vulgar and misogynistic comments about women, guns and drugs. But unfortunately we all know that and most accept them as a part of rap music in general. As a rapper myself all I can do is try to portray a different image of rappers through my lyrics. With that said buy my album "Ripped from the Headlines" coming really soon. (Shame less plug I know).

But back to the subject at hand. The saying that I have been hearing goes like this:

"It aint trickin if you got it."

You may have recently heard the above term in songs like "Whatever You Like" by T.I., "Got Money" By Lil' Wayne Featuring T-Pain, "Can't Believe It" by T-Pain Featuring Lil' Wayne and "What them Girls Like" by Ludacris Featuring Chris Brown." Now for those of you that are unfamiliar with the term or not well versed or fluent in slanguage the meaning of the saying is this. If you've got the money you can spend it on whatever and it's not considered a waste of money. So basically you can blow thousands of dollars on any and everything with no regards just because you have the money. In theory this statement is very true. It's your money so feel free to do whatever the hell you want with it, and whose business is it what you do with your money? However, the problem that I have with this saying is that in some instances if you have it or not it is Trickin. Below I've listed just a couple items I feel like no matter how much money you have to spend and throw away some times it's still considered Trickin.

Strip Clubs

Now I'm curious to know who was the first person to go into a strip club take a hand full of money and throw it on stage? I would just like to know what was going through his head when this occurred. I wonder if it could have been done on accident. Like what if the man had just got change for $100 in all singles as he's walking up to the stage to tip he trips or slips and all the money goes flying out of his hands onto the stage. As the bouncer comes over to help him up he looks at his money and then looks at how swole the bouncer is and intelligently decides to just leave the money where it landed. However, he then notices the reaction he's getting from the stripper on stage and other strippers in the club. And there you have it the first person to make it rain in the strip club. LoL.

Well I don't know how the phenomenon was really invented but regardless some how this has become a regular trait in strip clubs. I remember being in Atlanta in a strip club and watched a guy walk in the front door walk up to the main stage throw an unknown amount of bills into the air and then walk towards the bar. Very shortly after I didn't see the man anymore. I'm assuming he left out probably because he was out of money. Now I'm not the smartest person but I do consider myself to be pretty economical hell even at times pretty cheap. LoL. So therefore I'm always going to try to get the most for my money. Whether it be a gallon of milk, a gallon of gas, a shirt, a hat, and yes even a lap dance. lol. I mean why not get the best deal you can. Now maybe that was all my mans needed to get his money's worth but I'm sorry even if he had it I must say he tricked off his money. LoL.

Speaking of Atlanta and strip clubs here's another example to prove my point. Back in 2005 rappers Jermaine Dupri and Nelly partied it up big in a strip club spending $10,000 on strippers and alcohol. Well apparently they felt so guilty the next day that they decided to match their charitable donation to the strippers' college fund with a charitable donation to underprivileged children. They apparently purchased $10,000 in toys for the children and passed them out. Now as much money as these 2 have to blow even they had a moment of clarity and a conscious when they realized how much money they had spent. Either that or they're just smart business men and realized at least they can write off the toys whereas the strip club tips were simply Trickin!!

Our last example comes from the infamous Adam "Pac Man" Jones. In 2007 the NFL player was partying at a Las Vegas strip club during the NBA Allstar Weekend. As the story was told to me and as I read in an article this is basically what happen. The rules in the club he was in prohibit strippers from picking up money while someone is making it rain. They must wait until the raining stops. However, apparently the promoters for the club began scooping up his money in garbage bags while he was still making it rain. Apparently Jones didn't appreciate this after words were exchanged a melee began. To make a long story short as Jones exited the club shots rang out and 2 people were hit including a female patron, and a bouncer that ended up paralyzed. Police reportedly seized $81,000 (no that's not a typo) of Jones' money from the promoters. I don't even like to carry over $100 on me in cash. So how do you realistically walk into a strip club carrying $81,000? And that's just what he was making it rain with when the incident occurred, there's no telling how much he actually had on him. Now I've already mentioned that making it rain is definitely trickin, but apparently it can also be dangerous ask Pac Man Jones.

I enjoy the strip club as much as the next man, however; no matter how much money I get I can't see just throwing thousands in the air up for grabs. I mean I may make it drizzle a little bit and throw some change on the stage but I'm not trying to hurt no body. LoL. But It was put best to me by a friend of mines. I asked them if they'd make it rain in the strip club. They simply replied "Nah. I wouldn't. I'd rather tip the regular way it promotes good work ethic." I thought that answer was brilliant. Thanks for the quote Kris. LoL.

Prostitutes

My brother works with a special individual we've nicknamed Rain Man (yeah like the movie). But recently my brother told me that he found out that Rain Man hadn't had sex in damn near 10 years. Apparently all he does is work and play video games. Again, I'm not the type to pay for sex but damn 10 years? At that point I would understand him considering paying a few hundred at least once a year to get him some because apparently whatever other method he's utilizing is obviously not working for him.

However, I discussed pimping and prostitution in a early blog entitled "Hard for a Pimp?" Now nothing has changed since back then. I still have never and will never pay for sex. Maybe I'm cheap, but I'd rather say I'm just not this damn desperate. I have no clue what the going rate for some of these services are but I'm sure they can range anywhere from $50 (street hooker) to $1000 (High class escort services). Now if you're one of these guys that feel the need to pay for sex I just can't understand why you pay so much. I understand the quality of the prostitute probably increases the more you pay. In other words you're willing to pay an extra $100 to make sure you're not dealing with some potentially diseased crack whore. That I get. But at what point does it just become too much? When the amount you're paying for prostitutes begins to reach hundreds and even thousands of dollars per session that is just damn ridiculous. If this isn't trickin then I don't know what is. In fact in the pimp game prostitutes consider having sex with their clients "turning tricks." Therefore the clients that purchase prostitution services are called just that a Trick!!

In conclusion, I'm not the one to tell people what they can and can't do with their money. However, it's bad enough some rappers mislead people when it comes to their lyrics and so called lavish lifestyles. But stop with the catchy sayings that are completely false. There are plenty things people trick their money off on whether they have it or not. Look at these damn major banks that are on the verge of bankruptcy. They had billions of dollars to loan to individuals they knew wouldn't be able to afford to pay their mortgages. Now look at the state of our country's economy. It's called trickin! Even Beyonce's wig collection was recently valued at over $1 Million dollars. Although that's barely 1.25% of the $80 Million she made last year, it's still ridiculous. I know black women are particular about how they want their hair to look. But $10,000 a wig come on! I'm sure a personal stylist won't cost you that much. But then again she probably still has a personal stylist to make sure the wigs stay tight. What a shame.

*Shakes Head*

--C-Recks--

A Penny For My Thoughts

I've once again had some things on my mind and I've felt the need to share them with you. Lucky for you the price hasn't changed yet. But times are hard so don't be mad if it's a nickel for my thoughts pretty soon. LoL. But again this will be an on-going topic so look for more to come. And remember my unique perspectives on things are usually a little more twisted the the average. LoL. But with no further ado I bring to you...A penny for my thoughts...

"Just my thoughts ladies and gentlemen." - Jay-Z

I once saw 2 handicapped guys in wheel chairs in an Atlanta, Ga strip club. Now I have nothing against the handicap at all. In fact, I never even knew these 2 guys were handicapped at first. When we first got in and sat at a table they were behind us also at a table. It just looked as if they were sitting at a table. It wasn't until they paid for lap dances that I noticed these guys are handicapped. I believe that I made the comment to my brother "I guess a lap dance would be the only kind of dance they could get so why not." Now I'm never hating at all on anyone especially the handicapped. However, I don't know if these guys were regulars or what but they seemed to get all the love in the strip club. So, not only did they get the parking spaces in the front but the most strip club love. And while the emcee was steady calling all the guys out that were not tipping of course they didn't get called out. And I didn't see them go up there and tip one time. But as they left I was waiting for the d.j. to play the songs "Roll Out" or "Stand Up" by Ludacris. LoL. What? Naw see I was just saying that because you know Luda is from Atlanta. LoL.

Where is this little boys parents? We've all seen him on stickers placed on the back of someone's car window. In the sticker he's usually peeing on something. I've seen him peeing on everything from a car emblem, to sports teams, to the name of Osama Bin Laden. Now my question is why in the hell haven't his parents thought him to pee in a toilet yet? I'm definitely not advocating beating other people's kids because lord knows if someone touches mine it's on. However, if I caught this kid pissing in public I'd have to pull my belt off and hand him more than a few deserved licks. But for peeing on this 4 more years I would actually let him get a pass. LoL

Speaking of peeing. Has anyone ever watched the TV show Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel before? Well if you haven't seen the show the basic premise is that viewers write in and come up with dirty jobs and the host of the show Mike Rowe goes and does the job while being filmed on camera. Well over the Holiday weekend I was exposed to something that I feel should be on this show. So here you go Mike Rowe. Who in the hell has the horrible job of cleaning Port-O-Potties? And how much do they make? I don't care if you gave me a fire hose and paid me $100/hour I just couldn't do it. My bladder can be about to explode and some of these things I still wouldn't go in to use. My son put it best. I once took him into a port-o-potty to pee when he was probably only 3 years old. As soon as we walked in and he said "that's just disgusting!!"

Speaking of jobs. There's one job I would say has to be one of the easiest highest paying jobs ever. If you've driven through any highway construction zone then you've seen someone holding this sign that says slow. Now for some reason usually the person holding the sign is a woman. I'm not insinuating anything by that statement I'm just stating the facts. But besides having to stand for long periods of time, maybe having to endure extreme temperatures and the danger factor of possibly being hit this is not a hard job at all. Especially when they're probably making $35-50 an hour to hold that sign. I mean besides the extreme temperatures your average gas station clerk endures the same things for about $7 an hour. They have to stand all day and they can get robbed at any point. I mean I've seen instances where I guess the sign holder was on break and the sign was just stuck in the ground. Now if you can just replace someone's job by putting the sign in the ground that goes to show you that it's not really a required position. I'm just saying.

Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be sort of a stickler for grammar. Although I make mistakes in spelling at times (you may have caught some in previous blogs) and I talk in slang a lot, for the most part I try to speak correctly. Depending on the setting it can actually annoy me when someone isn't speaking proper English. One of those settings for me is at work. When I'm at work I have to put on my professional hat and speak professionally when I'm on the phone with a customer. Outside of work you'll hear me speaking slang, cursing, you name it. Well a few weeks ago my co-worker was on the phone with a customer. The customer (I could tell from her voice and grammar) happen to be a black woman. The customer had a discrepancy with her account balance and as my co-worker was trying to explain it to the customer she started to get loud and ignorant. Gotta Love my black people. Well it was at the end of the day on a Friday so my co-worker put the lady on speaker phone just so we all could hear her going off. Now I've heard it all said when it comes to bad grammar. However, this lady said a word that I had yet to hear before. She said and I quote "Nuh uhn Lady!! I'm not paying no $7000 the MORE-EST I'm paying is $5000." My ears perked up as soon as I heard it and I tapped my other co-worker (She's black) that was standing next to me listening. I said "Did she just say the more-est?" Not the most but the "more-est?" My co-worker was already laughing but as soon as I said that she busted up laughing and ran out the room so she wouldn't be damn near on the floor. But I guess the customer was pretty damn adamant she wasn't paying the 7.

Speaking of black women. I love ya'll by the way. Shout out to all the black women. LoL. But I recently thought of something. You know how they tell men that the best way to know how a woman will look when she gets old is to look at her mother? Well I have another rule that's along those same lines. Do you want to know how a black woman will look most of the time behind closed doors especially at night before bed time (you know at the hour you may be feeling a little frisky)? Well all you have to do is walk up to that fine black sista whether it be in the club or wherever and ask her to kindly... put on her head scarf. Yep I said it. You know that lovely silk scarf that they put on at night to wrap their hair up. All I can say is if she still looks fine to you in the head scarf then you now know what you'll be in for probably 6 out of 7 nights of the week. If a black woman has enough hair to put a comb through then 9 times out of 10 she wears one of these to bed. Underneath her hair will be wrapped up in a cone head style. The purpose is to eliminate them having to redo their whole head in the morning when they wake up. It's just one of those rules they have like "never going swimming." They'll dip their feet in the water but actually swimming head under the water style nope it's a rarity to see. I didn't watch the but did anyone see any black women on the U.S. Swim team in this year's Olympics? LoL.

I'm not sure who came up with this bright idea but have you ever heard of or seen someone with permanent makeup? Well there are people that get their eyebrows tattooed on in the arch of their choice. This way they never have to get their eyebrows arched. I guess they simply shave them off when they grow. But my thing is this why would you want to risk someone messing up on your tattooed eyebrows. I mean if they're doing the arch and they sneeze or something they may have you looking surprised for the rest of your life. LoL. I believe this works for lipstick as well. So you can get your favorite lipstick color tattooed on your lips permanently. Again, it doesn't make sense if the color you get is red why would you want to be stuck with that one color all your life? I guess you can put another color on top of the red but won't certain colors mixed together make other colors? Didn't we learn in grade school how red + blue = purple? LoL

Alright that's all I got that's another $.07 cents you owe me. The total would be $0.17 cents. Don't forget to tip if you were at all entertained. LoL

--C-Recks--