Low Profile

As the light turned green the driver began a left hand turn. As he turned he looked right and noticed a police car stopped at the red light. As he turned fully onto the street he said to his passenger "Damn the cops." The passenger replied "what did you do? You're not drunk are you?" "No I only had 2 beers with dinner."

As the light turned green for the cop car he immediately pulled up behind the driver. The driver then said to his female passenger "I'm about to be pulled over." She replied "what? Why? how do you know?"

The driver pops a mint in his mouth right before taking off at the next green light.

As the car passed through another major intersection, the cop shined his bright light and turned on the police lights to pull over the car. As the cop pulls up the driver begins to roll down the window. The cop has his hand on his gun and flashlight in the driver's face. He motions to him without saying it to "keep his hands where he can see them."

Next comes the questions and answer session, which covers everything except the color of your mom's vaginal walls when you were delivered during birth:

Cop: "What state are these tags from?"

Driver: Ohio Sir

C: They expired last year

D: Actually they are not expired you can see that someone tried to unsuccessfully steal and remove the tag

C: Whose car is this?

D: My girlfriend's she's right here.

C: Do you have a license?

D: Yes... *reaches for ticket in his wallet* I'm driving on a ticket, but I paid it and they still haven't sent me my license. Perhaps it got lost since I've moved.

C: You didn't change your address?

D: No not yet.

C: Well where are you coming from?

D: From Home

C: Where do you live

D: Give his exact address

C: How long have you lived there

D: A few months

C: [Speaking to the Girlfriend] You do know you're supposed to change over your tags within 30 days of moving?

GF: Yes, I'm here for school.

C: How long have you lived here?

GF: 2 months.

C: Where do you live?

D: Attempts to answer..."She"

C: Give look of I'm not talking to you nigger I'm asking her...

GF: We live together

As he speaks to the couple the cop continues to shine his light into the car looking for any suspicious items, drugs, guns, etc. The cop's partner is on the passenger side with his flash light doing the same. An under cover car pulls up as they're interrogating to ask if they need assistance. The cop waves them off & the Under cover car speeds off.

C: Do you have insurance.

GF: Yes I just have to look for it.

GF begins to look through the glove compartment for the insurance card. Pulling out papers from the glove compartment she gives some to the driver to look through as well. She finds a card but it is expired.

Cop walks away and goes to run the plates and license while they continue to search for the insurance card.

GF: I must not have put the updated card in here.

D: Oh well nothing we can do now.

Cop comes back to the driver side.

C: You need to remove that placard from around your plates because you can't tell what state it's from. Also, you need to get this registration changed over as soon as possible.

**hands license to the driver**

C: You folks have a good night.

D: Thanks

As the cop car pulls away. The couple begins to notice it wasn't just one car that pulled them over, as they begin to count together aloud...

D/GF: One, Two, Three, Four... Four Cop cars Wow!

D: And there was an undercover one I saw too but they just didn't stop.

The End...


The story above is a true story I am the driver and the passenger is my girlfriend. We were pulled over for no reason 2 nights ago. We were less than 5 minutes away from our home and racially profiled.

My story is one that has been told before not only by me, but by the many black males throughout the country that face this problem on a daily basis. Yes it's 2010 and guess what? No matter what people may think, racism and racial profiling still exists. I've seen it time and time again that I've been pulled over for no other reason than the fact I'm black.

Some would say "you're lucky you didn't get a ticket." Or it could've been worse. Well I guess I say to that. If I had've gotten a ticket it may have at least made more sense to me. It may have made it more random. But the fact none of that happened well it just goes further to prove my point. But again, my plight is not greater than any other black man in America. The only difference is that mine did turn out good. I only imagine how it would've turned out if I had've had a record. I'm sure they would've searched the car. But wait, I've had that happen to me in the past same situation same girlfriend, just a different car. So, all I can say to that is this is reality.

I once said that to know when the police are behind you for a black man is like a "6th" or "spidey" sense that you're about to be pulled over. But maybe it's not. Maybe it's just that when they do get behind you just anticipate that it's going to happen and being black means that the odds are in your favor that it will happen. Irregardless, the end result is the same. You get left feeling humiliated, embarrassed and pissed all at the same time.

Side Bar: I guess the only thing they haven't done to me yet is pull me over with my son in the car. That is a day I absolutely dread. The main reason being is this. When I was my son's age I witnessed my father handcuffed, arrested, thrown into the back of a cop car and accused of a crime he didn't commit. While I stood there and got to play on the police computer in the front seat. I could only imagine the thoughts that went through my dad's head at that time. I pray I never have to experience that situation, and pray that 10 years from now when my son is driving that things will have gotten better.

But I guess that's what it's all designed to do anyway. Especially if they can't actually pop you on any type of charges. Honestly, I can go on for days and days and honestly, the handful of times I've been pulled over probably don't even equal 30% of the times my brother has been pulled over. He drives for a living so unfortunately he's had to face this on many more occasions than I have. He keeps a tally of the # of times he's been pulled over but I don't.

**Sends text to brother to see his current total # of times he's been pulled over**

So the figure I got back was a whopping 42-44 times he's been pulled over. I don't know how far back he went with that statistic but regardless that's a lot of times to be pulled over. I would say in my lifetime it's probably been less than 15, so my 30% is just about accurate. To close I'm know that I'm working on 1 day being a successful business man. But regardless of what kind of money I make in the future as Kanye said "Even if you drive a benz you still a nigga in a coup."






I know this was supposed to be a comeback blog since it's been so long since I've written, but sorry that it turned out to be a long drawn out story.


--C-Recks--

@crecks on twitter follow for more daily insight.

You Can't Handle the Spoof!

Ever since back in the mid and late 80's when Weird Al Yankovic was doing spoofs of Michael Jackson songs I've been been a fan of the spoof. I guess I feel as even though their only copying what someone else has done they're still being creative. To take what someone else has already written and then write your own version and flip it into something comical to me takes some talent.

Well I recently came across a new spoof of Jay-Z's "Run this Town" which I found was absolutely hilarious. Affion Crockett is a damn fool. So that then prompted me to go ahead and do a good ol' youtube search and see what other spoof videos are out there. Unfortunately, I didn't find as many as I hoped to. So this went from a top 10 blog to just 9 of the ones I found and my usual commentary. But it's Monday so I figure the least I can do today is give everyone a laugh. So enjoy!



"Run This Town"

As I stated Affion is a Damn Fool. The Chris Brown impression is beyond funny. And I swear if he don't look just like Kanye in this video. He got him down to a T.



"Duffle Bag Boy"

I actually found this a while ago and I cracked up as soon as I saw it. I wanted to use it for another blog but I never got around to it. But these guys were O.C. for doing this spoof.



"Chopped & Screwed"

I had to do a double take on this one because I thought it was actually T-Pain for a second.


"Best I Ever Had"

Affion's version of the Best I ever had is too much for me. LoL. And his portrayals of Drake and Weezy are too damn funny.

"Best I Ever Had"

Here's another version of Best I ever had. I had to put this one too, even though I don't think this guy raps as good as Affion he looks just like Drake and his hand movements match Drakes to a T. LoL.


"Mr. Carter"

Another Affion Classic. Here he does his Weezy and Jay-Z impression. Wayne on Jay's Lap is hilarious.


"Black Republicans"

Affion Crockett - Lil Wayne and Juelz Santana Spoof
Free Music Videos at http://www.blastro.com/

LMAO @ this song/video. I'm a Juelz Fan but I swear if I wasn't watching this video and just heard the song I would think this was just a wack Juelz verse. I swear the way he's rapping is identical to Juelz especially when he repeats 3xs in a row. LoL.



"Bad"

Weird Al Yankovic - Fat (Official Music Video) - The best free videos are right here
Here's one of the Classic Weird Al, Michael Jackson Spoofs I was referring to in the beginning.



"Beat It"

Weird Al Yankovic lyrics

Weird Al Yankovic-Eat It Video - Weird Al Yankovic Music Videos

Here's another Weird Al cover of a Michael Jackson classic.

If anyone has any other good spoofs please send them to me I love to laugh.

--C-Recks--

A Fighting Chance

I will admit that I'm far from a fighter. In fact, if I told the number of fights I've been in during my 29 years of life it may be a little embarrassing. LoL. However, there are those times when you may hear a particular song and it just some how puts you in a mood. It just does something too you. Whether you're in a club a lil tipsy, driving in your car or just vibing to yourself on your Ipod. You don't even have to be mad, upset or even irritated (however if you are any of the above this type of song will only intensify those emotions) to get this feeling. That song will put you in a mood to do what my brother and I have commonly referred to KAMO or Knock A Mufucka Out! So since we haven't done a top 10 in a while here are our top 10 KAMO songs.

#10-LL Cool J- Momma Said Knock You Out


Gotta take you back to the old school here. I remember this beat coming on and shadow boxing with a towel on my head like LL. I don't know who I was preparing to KTFO (perhaps my brother for some infraction. lol) but LL definitely got me hype to do so. I still don't know why his momma was telling him to knock people out but hey if momma said it you better do it. lol.

#9-DJ Khaled - Go Hard Featuring Kanye West & T-Pain


Between this beat, T-pain with that funny voice shit and Kanye Snapping on the lyrics you can't help but to go hard. Oh can't forget DJ Khaled's Ass yelling over the beat as always. "We The Best!" Definitely puts you in the mood to go hard!!

#8-Ludacris-Move Bitch Feat. Mystikal

This may be the Road Rage Anthem here but it's still applicable. Soon as you hear those horns at the beginning tell me you're not bobbing your head and ready to push someone out of your way.

#7-Tupac-My Ambitionz Az a Ridah


"I won't deny it I'm a straight ridah you don't want to f**k wit me" Man this is honestly one of my favorite Pac songs right here. You can even hear the ring announcer in the beginning "Get Ready to Rumble." So you already know what's going down once you cut this song on. Don't ask which one, but I think there was a Mike Tyson fight where he actually came out into the ring with this playing.

#6-The Lox-Wild Out!


The Lox fresh off Bad Boy Records making Shiny Suit music what else was there for them to do but Wild Out!! I was surprised that The Lox could even come this hard when I first heard the song I had a new found respect for the trio. The song gave you specific instructions too. "If a nigga step on ya goddamn shoes! Wild Out!!" This was definitely a no-nonsense song and let you know the smallest thing could cause one to wild out!!


#5- Brooke Valentine - Girl Fight Feat. Lil' Jon & Big Boi

This song itself was so so for me. But the reason it made it to the #5 spot for us is simple. What guy doesn't enjoy a good girl fight? Lol. Of course it's always for the wrong reasons but it's the truth. So why not give the ladies their own anthem too? Assistance from Lil' Jon and Big Boi complete this record giving it KAMO status.

#4-I-20 - Fighting in the Club Feat. Chingy, lil Fate, & Titi Boi


The title alone tells you what it's all about. Fighting in the Club. We pretty much can sum this song up as hard lyrics over a hard beat prompting you to start unnecessary ruckus in the club. Add that to some grimy niggaz fueled by alcohol and the title of the song is what you get. I loved how in the video they were the ones causing the fights to start yet the fighting parties had no clue. LoL.


#3-Rocky Theme-Eye of the Tiger



The other songs were all Hip-Hop, but way before Luda, Lil' Jon, 2pac, The Lox, or even Mike Tyson ever made it big this song had all of America getting hype ready for their next fight. Yes Rocky Balboa the people's champ, the underdog had this wonderful theme song. To this day if you throw on this song it's gone put you in Rocky mode ready to go to battle in the ring. Either that or run up a bunch of damn steps.

#2- Lil' Jon - Damn Near Any song (Bia Bia, I don't give a F_k)




I know Lil' Jon & the Eastside boys are considered the Kings of Krunk, but he really should be the King of KAMO! I mean damn near any Lil' Jon song you play is gone get you up out your seat and ready to fight someone. Even on the "Love" song he did with Usher the nigga was still yelling. Honestly, you didn't know if you wanted to beat it up to the song or beat her up. LoL. But for the most of his songs between the Krunk hard hitting beats and Lil' Jon yelling What!?! over the damn track what more motivation do you need. Above are 2 of his classic KAMO songs.

#1-Bone Crusher-Neva Scared! Feat. Killer Mike & T.I.


I'm sure you were all waiting for this one. But it had to go at #1. Although Bone Crusher has since fallen off, his debut song had everyone in the club ready to fight anyone that even bumped into them. The saying "I aint neva Scared" was added to everyone's vocabulary. The menacing beat along with the taunting lyrics from Bone, TI and Killer Mike placed this song forever #1 KAMO song. LoL @ "What's my name is Shawty!!"

--C-Recks--
--Driza Dre--

Sweetest Hangover

So as you all may know I recently started my new job. I thank all of you that wished me success. A few have asked how the new job was going. So I figured I'd take a little time to give you guys a little update on my new place of employment.

First of all I must say that I don't know why but my family thought my last job was some big G-14 Classified secret mystery. They often referred to me as Tommy from Martin (You aint got no Damn Job Maaaan!! LoL). Especially my brother. But they would often ask me what did I really do? As much as I explained they didn't seem to believe me. LoL.

Well with this new job all of that has changed. It is blatantly obvious as to what I am doing now. In this new position I am employed by a major chocolate manufacturer. I'm sure there are plenty of chocolate lovers out there. But the funny thing about it is I don't really even eat chocolate like that. I mean maybe every now and then, but it's a rarity. Well if chocolate is your weakness this is definitely not a place you would want to work. Much like I could never want to work as a sampler in a beer factory or a P-factory. LMAO.

Let me just tell you when you walk into the building the smell is overwhelming. And don't call yourself being on the Kanye get right for the summer work out plan. You can forget it, because that's not going to work here. They keep chocolate on tap for the employees. In my interview it was about 10 AM and one lady I was interviewing with asked me "Do you need anything? Water, coffee, or chocolate?" I was thinking chocolate at 10 am? Are you crazy? Well apparently she was serious. As you can see from the pics below the chocolate is just in candy dishes around the office and building. There is a lady whose job is to re-fill the candy dishes when they get low.

When I first saw their benefits package I wondered why in the hell the dental plans were so low. But now I realize exactly why they were so low. The reason being is because they're probably helping keep plenty of dentists across Chicago in business.

But so far I'm liking the job. Although there are definitely some characters, the people are really nice. I of course work with mostly all women again. But definitely not as bitter and annoying as at my old job. There are other black people around me so I'm not the odd man out anymore. One thing I forgot about working for larger companies is those damn birthday clubs. By Day 5 they were already recruiting me. And by week #2 I already had to contribute $5 to someone's birthday in my department. They're having some kind of party today. I thought about saying I barely even know y'all yet so why would I contribute. But then I heard someone say that there are no more birthdays til summer. Then I thought well my birthday is in a couple months so a $5 investment isn't too bad as long as I get hooked up come May. LoL.

My longer commute isn't too bad. Far from my 2 minute drive I used to have to the old drive. But it's not as bad as I thought. Well that was until my Ipod went out on me. But I'm still managing for now. Also, my new work space is bigger than at the old place as you can see below. Day one they had my name plate up on my desk made me feel kind of important. Lol. Also they're really high tech with wireless headsets and stuff like that. I was pretty impressed. But I guess a real company doesn't mind spending money. What a concept.

Now my brother and I will never hesitate to take a couple of cheap shots at each other where possible. The only downfall to the job is that I've left him with what seems like unlimited ammunition to shoot me a new nickname when he feels like it. So far I've been called Cory Wonka, R.Kelly (Chocolate Factory), and Candy Man. I'm sure he's not done yet. He's probably saving some of the better ones for later. But if anyone has any good ones for him feel free to join in. Don't worry I'm not sensitive so don't worry about hurting my feelings. In fact I just thought of a good one myself. You ready? Give it up for "Sexual Chocolate!! Sexual Chocolate! That Boy's good!!" LMAO.

--C-Recks--

For the Cool in You

"Cause I am so cool, cool, cool..." Redman "SoopaMan Luva 3"

So last weekend I'm sitting with my son and we're playing video games. Then all of a sudden of the blue he says something that I didn't expect at all. He says and I quote "You know dad you're pretty cool." Well I couldn't help but to put on that Kanye smile as The Game said. well I guess I should say that C-Recks smile, check the picture below.

Don't laugh at me with my kool-aid smile. That pic was taken on election night and I had just used my same drink ticket for the 4th time in a row. I should sell this to Heineken for one of their advertisements. LoL.

Well after he made this statement I asked him why he thought I was so cool? He replied "because you play video games with me and stuff like that, so that makes me a cool dad." Well it is true we do sit around and play his race car video games for hours. So if that makes me cool I'll take it and bask in it for the moment. However, sometimes I wonder will I maintain be able this "cool" status in the years to come.

When I hear people (especially young people) say they want to have a baby or children for some reason my response is always "if you can help it...wait!" That's not to say that I don't love being a father, because it's one of my favorite things in the world. However, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Balancing being a parent, working, having social life, and hobbies seems to be a juggling act at times. I somehow by the grace of God am able to do it for the most part. But then there are times when my son reminds me that I'm definitely not 100% in balance. On my way to drop him back off this past Sunday he says "Dad I wish you got fired so you could be with me everyday not just weekends." After gasping, I had to correct what he said. "As much as I would love to be with you everyday dad can't get fired. So let's say I wish you could get a better job and have more free time." He agreed and repeated what I said. Although, I wanted to say no job = no child support which = dad in jail. Not to mention my slim frame is conducive with jail bids and the fact that soap is slippery. LoL.

When my ex was pregnant her and I thoroughly discussed how we wanted to raise our son. Of course we didn't stay together so certain things were altered, but as they said "best laid plans." But that didn't change what I needed to do as a father for my son. I know I'm old (getting old), but I still feel young, so my son confirmed how I feel. I feel like I'm cool as a fan or the other side of the pillow. You pick one of those Stewart Scott one liners. I think I'll always try to keep my ear to the street as my son gets older. I can't have him pulling one over on me because he thinks I'm too old and out of touch with slang and what's going on in his young world.

For example, a while back a friend of mines asked me about a slang word. Now she's older than I am, maybe in her mid to late 30's. She has 3 teenage sons. In the past she's come to me to ask me about different slang words. Well apparently her sons had been using this term around her and wouldn't tell her the meaning. So at one point she's talking with the kids and they used the term and since they wouldn't tell her what it meant she just started saying it too. "Well if that's the case I'm a "Blank" your brother is a "blank" and your dad is also a "blank." So, the kids simply laughed at her and she was still left in the dark. As she's telling me this story I'm like NO! you didn't say that did you? She's like yeah I did why? So I go ahead and explain to her what the term means. She was shocked and says "I'm gone get they asses!" LoL. I laughed but then I thought man I gotta stay on my slang game even when I get older.

Just in case you're trying to fill in the blank, the word she/the kids were saying was Bust Down! SMH!!

Now I realize that I won't always be the cool dad. So I need to bask in this coolness while I can. There will be a time when I will be replaced as his video game buddy by one of his boys. The same goes for when it comes to going out riding bikes, going to the mall, the arcade and all the other cool things we do together. Eventually, dear old dad will not be cool enough to hang out with Lil' C. I'll get the "I'll just call you when it's time to pick me up speech." Or the "Can you drop me down the block because I don't want anyone to see you dropping me off." So when that day comes I won't let my feelings get hurt. I'll just think back and say. "Hey there was a time when you thought I was cool. And trust in 5 or so more years when you're 18+ years old I'm sure I'll gain that status back again."

--C-Recks--

2008 Rap Up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kCGSDv-9-0 here's the link if it's easier.

Check out the video above I put together to close out 2008. I know the rapper Skillz does one every year, so this year I decided to do my own. This is the first time I ever did a youtube video or something like this and I did it all on my new laptop I got for Christmas (thanks moms/bro). But excuse the low budget quality of the video/song. I didn't have time to hit the studio to do this so adjust your speakers accordingly. lol. Below are the lyrics to the song for all those that are lyrically intuitive. Peace to my mans Kaos on the beat.



Have a Happy and safe New Year everybody!



--C-Recks--







First of all this year been krazy/speakin of krazy Britney Spears don't need no more babies/ it just amaze me/ between paparazzi stunts/ showin her twat and cunt/ nobody stopped her once/ blunts/drugs, gettin drunk and gettin wasted/ the shaved head/ legal bouts with K-Fed/ Like Smokey said/ you got knocked the fuck out/ yeah I'm talkin bout Suge guess he aint that tough now/ Now Mike Vick/ Don't get me started/ making millions and dog fightin' that's just retarded/ bark...shit/ don't fuck with dogs unless they bite/ pay your taxes, take advice from Wesley Snipes/ Remy Ma got 6 years tried to Wedd in the Big House/ Papoose had other plans he tried to break her ass out/ bout/ time Jay and B finally jumped the broom/ now they the highest paid couple and got nothin to prove/ but if they lose/ they gone need that broom to clean up/ and I can only hope to God that they signed a pre-nup/ what/ more can I say/ on to OJ/ never learned his lesson, how many times its gone take/ wait/ he probably did the dumbest shit in the world/ he went to jail but this time not for killing his girl/ But you best believe the judge threw the book all hard/ got away with murder but caught for stealin football cards?/ speaking of charges/T.I. year wasn't so fun/ they said you can have whatever...he said give me them guns/ he claims the guns was cuz he usually nervous/ plead guilty got a year plus community service/ now when I heard this/ I couldn't believe it like T-pain/ best rapper of 2008 became lil' wayne/ in Hip hop/ weezy had the game locked/ lolipop/ and Carter 3 had the number 1 spot/ people watched/ guess I'm still wondering when the show's over/ maybe it's me but I'm tired of hearing that vocoder/ cold shoulder/ I throw til real rap comes back/ it's not surprising DMX went back to crack/ In rehab so he missed his las court appearance/ from what I hearin his next album gone have gospel lyrics?/ forgot to mention/ Kanye mom may she rest in peace/ that's only how he get a pass/ for that last/ release/ tragedy almost struck when the gun went off/ Plaxico shot himself accidently ya'll/ speaking of boss/ Rick Ross/ we know/ he hustled kilos/ but he admitted/ before he did it/ he used to be a C.O./ Zero/ how many times Patriots lost in the season/ but when I watched the superbowl I thought I was dreamin/ was it karma for the cheatin/ had to be another reason/ all I know I lost dough what the fuck was I thinkin/ a meetin/ between the greats 21 years in the making/ NBA finals were the Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers/ K.G. and the big 3, yeah they did they thang/ Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant they just couldn't hang/ Time for change/ and this year was the time to prove it/ we had hope while others said he couldn't do it/ including/ racist/ the haters/ they said he'd fail/ but through it all in the end he still prevailed/ I could tell/ November 4th was going to make history/ but it took all of our votes to claim the victory/ Destiny/ it has become or perhaps heaven sent/ all I know 2008 we got our black president/ it's relevant/ cuz the economy needed a push/ Gas prices, foreclosures I blame bush/ It took 3 minutes I'm at the end but feel like I just started/ So I'm a close this with a prayer for the dearly departed...



--C-Recks--

Got M.I.L.F.?

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