Just Deserts

Don't worry I didn't make a simple spelling error in my title. You'll understand the spelling as you continue to read. So, a few months my best friend was having an argument with some guy about who was thirstier men or women? So she e-mails me and asks my take on it. Well my immediate response was "Men of course!" My first example proving my point to her was for her to simply log into her myspace. I told her that I bet with her just being logged in [cue the blinking on-line indicator] and not doing anything more that the guys would flock. However, if I were to do the exact same I would maybe [on a good day] receive 1 request to her every 5-10. Unfortunately, she agreed with me that guys are thirstier; therefore, she didn't try my little "social-networking" experiment.

However, my blog entry "It's a One-derful Life" prompted another friend of mines to re-open their previously closed myspace account to prove a point. On her profile she listed 10 items about her as I did in the aforementioned blog. However, she proceeded to tell me that the "resume" as she called it, prompted her to receive 70 friend requests. All of these requests came within a matter of barely 24 hours, from men wanting to be her "One." Well without even asking her to participate she conducted my "social networking" experiment for me. So my response to her was that the 10 items was irrelevant. I feel that even without her putting her 10 items on there that just a picture and no words would have gotten at least half of those requests. Why? Because guys are thirsty.

Still not convinced? Well here's yet another example. A few years ago I was in the grocery store picking up some items for my grandmother. Well my eye spotted a gorgeous woman shopping and pushing her cart along. Now before my mind could even formulate the thought of stepping up to her and say something someone had already beat me to the punch. So, I played the back and watched her shut this guy down as he walked away shaking his head. Within less than a minute I saw another guy make the same attempt only to be shut down. As guy #2 was shut down there was a third guy lurking in the shadows just hoping for his turn. Even after seeing guy #2 get shut down, the third guy proceeds to take his chance. By this time I'm simply laughing because it's become quite comical. Well it's no surprise that guy #3 got the same treatment as his 2 predecessors. The young lady proceeded to the meat department to pick out some poultry, but it wasn't long before guy #4 made his appearance. I couldn't hear what any of them were saying to her, but with her picking out chicken, I'm sure his "original recipe" line that he used wasn't too original. Therefore, he was sent home with no consolation prize along with the previous contestants.

Well I won't front that my mind was thinking hell "give it your best shot worst she can say is no." However, I then thought of it in this way. If I just saw 4 people try to cross the same bridge and all met the same fate of falling in the water would I still try to cross? The answer was an astounding Hell No!! Plug up the Gps and find yourself another route. LoL. So, I told myself I'm just not a thirsty type guy and simply admired her beauty from a distance and kept it moving.

I mean I know I'm from Chicago and perhaps thirstiness just exists here, but I doubt that's the case. I've come to realize that Chicago niggaz just take it to an extreme level. However, I'm sure that women from all over the world can attest to the fact that they've experienced many moments dealing with thirsty guys. We've attempted to come up with a list, let's go through it and see how far we get.

- The guy that buys you a drink at the club and thinks you drinking that drink is some sort of non-verbal contract obligating you to talk to him the rest of the night. So he follows you around the club all night.

- The guy that you actually decide to give your number to; however, he doesn't adhere to the 1-2 day buffer and calls you the same day.

- The guy that when he meets you and you won't give him your number decides to give you his number. But not just his number. He includes his work number, his e-mail address, his instant messenger, and just in case you can't reach him at any of those his momma's number.

- The guy that first tries to holla at you. Then when you shut him down moves on to your girl. But when she doesn't give him any love either he then makes an attempt at your other girl. Eventually he goes through the rest of your crew, but even though no one takes his bait it doesn't deter him from trying.

- The guy that you've barely known a week or 2; however, he already wants you to be his woman. But wait he's not just satisfied with you just being his girl. Within that same week or 2, he wants you to meet his momma, be his wife, and go half on a baby with him.

- The guy that calls you and when you don't answer he leaves you a voice mail. But before you can even check the voice mail he's calling you again. But when you don't answer the next time he's sends you a text message. My brother commonly refers to these individuals as Serial Dialers.

- The guy that will admittedly do anything to get you to sleep with him. Including but not limited to offering to buy you any and everything you want as if money will all of a sudden make you want to be with him.

- The guy that sees you walking down the street as he's driving and tries to get your attention by yelling from the car. When you ignore his disrespectful attempt, he continues to drive along side you trying different lines on you hoping you change your mind.

- The guy that you openly treat like s**t, yet he takes your s**t and whatever else you do to him just no matter how bad it is. He doesn't care because he just wants to be with you no matter what.


Alright that's all we could come up with. But feel free to add to the list in your comments I'm sure we've left plenty things out. But the bottom line is that although there are some thirsty women out there, they don't close to match the numbers of thirsty men. I guess some of these guys didn't get the memo that women out number men in most places. You would think that would deter them from being so thirsty; however, it doesn't and it won't.

So to those thirsty men out there. Please stop being so damn thirsty! Ya'll make it harder for us regular guys to even get a chance because of how thirsty the last guy that tried was. So calm your thirsty asses down, for starters here's a glass of water on me. LoL.
--C-Recks--
--DrizaDre--

100 Dials and Runnin'

Hey, how ya doing. I'm sorry you can't get through. Just leave your name, and your number, and I'll get back to you
Ring Ring Ring - De La Soul

Imagine with me a scene that gets played out across America thousands of times a day. A man is relaxing with a cold beverage, probably something involving hops. As he lifts his beverage, a phone rings. Nonchalantly, he reaches for his cell phone. "Ah, that can wait. I'll call her back", After setting the phone to ignore, he resumes his intimate moment with his beverage. As the bottle hits his lips, the phone rings again. Looking at the phone he says "damn". Hitting ignore again, the moment with his tasty beverage is almost completely ruined. He thinks to himself "she can't call again. No, she just can't". With nervousness, the man again reaches for his drink. As sure as the sun rises every morning, the man's phone rings again. A precious moment with his beloved beverage completely ruined.

Now this may seem completely irrelevant to anything, but I challenge you to dig into your mental archive. Have you ever been interrupted from something super important by your cell phone? Of course you have. Well, there are two types of cell phone violations that I would like to discuss with you. Let's refer these as "the serial dialer" and their sidekick "text message recon".

I have to be honest with you, when I signed my cell phone contract, I didn't read the terms and conditions. (So as my brother put it in an earlier blog, I'll see ya'll on the plantation). However, there's one part of the cell phone/owner relationship that I don't quite understand. How is it that simply because I own a cell phone, I have automatically given permission to any and everyone who can dial my number to call me at any time. (Again, must be in the good T&C). Now I am not an anti-social individual, but there are occasions in which even a mild-mannered person such as myself can be pushed to my limit.


The Serial Dialer

The scenario played out earlier is the classic example of the serial dialer. A serial dialer is someone who calls frequently within a short amount of time. I'd say at least twice within 120 seconds. The reason this individual is dangerous is the fact that they mimic what is normally a special circumstance. When you receive two or three or more calls in rapid succession, what's your immediate reaction? "Oh my God, something bad has happened". Well not when a Serial Dialer has your number. See the serial dialer is aware of the fact that you're probably ignoring their phone call. So what does someone do when they really want to get you on the phone? Mimic an emergency! Ding, Ding, Ding! And how pissed off are you if you decide to answer that third phone call in 90 seconds, and the person on the the other end responds "What's Up"?

If you allow me to play amateur Psychologist, let me try and analyze the mind of "The Serial Dialer". See, when the average person makes a phone call, they may have important news to share with you, or information that they need from you. Probably no different from the Repeat Dialer. If the average person gets someone's voice mail, they either go ahead and leave a message or they hang up and figure "Ah hell, they'll see that they missed my call". It is this thought process that separates the Serial Dialer from everyone else.

When the Serial Dialer gets your voice mail, their immediate thought is probably "Damn, maybe they didn't hear the phone ring", or something of the type. So they decide that they should try you again. If that call is unsuccessful, and they get your voice mail, now they're probably upset. Again as an amateur psychologist, my interpretation is that the Serial Dialer has now been offended. The "maybe they didn't hear the phone ring" now becomes " how dare he (she) not answer my call". It is at this point and time that the Serial Dialer will try and make it their mission to achieve contact between themselves and their unwitting victim. Next is one of the Serial Dialer's tactical weapons.

Text Message Recon

It normally starts as something innocuous. Let's say a text message that comes in saying "Good Morning". Not bad. You say to yourself, "Oh, so and so was thinking about me. That's cool." So you shoot them back a text message returning the greeting. Well under normal circumstances that may be the end of the exchange. If you are dealing with a Serial Dialer, you've just allowed yourself to be victimized again.

Text Message Recon is a term that I have coined in which a person sends you a text message and once you have responded, they now know that you are in proximity of your phone. And shortly there after, the phone calls begin. Again amateur psychologist at play, text message recon is just another tool by which a serial dialer can gain access to your life. The only difference is that once you've responded to their text message, you now actually have some explaining to do if you choose not to answer the subsequent phone calls. All I can say is be very aware when responding to text messages sent by someone that's you've already deemed a serial dialer.

If this seems harsh, I apologize. We are all a product of our experiences, and to just let you know, I've always had a huge problem with Serial Dialers. It all started in the early 90's. There was a young lady who got my phone number. That's where the first problem arose. I never gave her my number! She got my number from her little sister who happened to be friends with my little brother. I guess her sister told her about me, and this chick was on fire to talk to me. So the calls started coming. My immediate reaction to this chick is "she sounds like a dude". But as normal, my problem is that I'm too nice. I should have snapped off on this chick and told her never to call again. (Its just not in my nature). So LaQuanna (her actual government) decided that I was her boyfriend. And when you have a boyfriend at the age of 14, what do you do? You call them all the time. LaQuanna would call so much that my equally mild mannered mother had to pick up the phone, and let this little girl know that she really need to stop calling my house. (Thanks moms, you were more man than I was)!

Well LaQuanna finally got the message. The phone calls tailed off. I never did actually get a chance to see LaQuanna. But as it turned out, I had a friend in high school who knew LaQuanna. Well lets just say that she informed me that the voice over the phone might have been more attractive than the rest of her. (Beaten repeatedly with an ugly stick was a term that I do believe she used in her description). As you can see, I have been victimized time and time again by serial dialers. I send this out as a word of caution to the rest of you. Serial Dialers are real.

If you're reading this and you know a serial dialer, be very careful to stay off their radar.

If you know you have potential to be a serial dialer, think of the impact you serial dialing has on the other person. If they're your friends or family, just take comfort in the fact that they're not going anywhere. You can call once! Eventually they'll return your call.

If you're already a serial dialer, get some help. Dialer's Anonymous or something.

Until next time...


Drizadre

P.S. Girlfriends/wives and mothers are always exempt from from the term serial dialer. Actually, they are the only people who have a vested interest in knowing where you are and what you're doing when you're out of their sight. You can hit me up anytime mom. Lol