Randomness

So I haven't done one of these in a long time and figured I'd go ahead and hit you guys with some random things about me. I have no set number of items I'm just going to ramble on until I stop. So here we go:

1.) I want to learn Spanish. As much as it could have come in handy in my old job dealing with a 90% Hispanic customer base my reason is not for career advancement. Although it may benefit in that way, I have another reason. On the real I want to learn so that I can watch the Soap Operas that come on the Spanish Channel. Maybe it's just me but I turned past the channel all the time and sometimes stop. But I swear whatever goes on in those shows is deep as hell. And dramatic as all get out!

2.) I thought about it and I've had a very wide range of best friends going back to grade school. Let's just say no one can ever say that I discriminate. 1st Grade: My best friend was disabled. Yep he had only 3 fingers (or maybe 2) on each hand. But we hung like it wasn't nothing, and I still got play from the girls back then. LoL. 3rd grade my best friend was Indian. I mean for real Indian he wore a Turban and all. Shame that they hated on him though. Someone pulled his Turban off once. Although I was glad my curiosity was finally satisfied as to what was under there I felt bad to see him cry. His hair was long as hell though. From there I went to black, Hispanic, white and now a female. Like I said I don't discriminate. Good friends are hard to come by. LoL. Not to get too deep but isn't it funny how innocent we are as kids and how race, religion, creed, and gender don't matter. All we see is another kid.

3.) My closet as I've been told resembles that of a woman's closet. I admit that I do have a lot of clothes. However, I'm not like a female when it comes to shopping. I actually hate shopping. I blame my grandmother for that. As a shorty we would have to spend hours upon hours waiting in the store for her to finish shopping. And as boys we would play and get into stuff. And as soon as you did she would pinch the HELL out of us!!! But as for my shopping my problem lies with bargain shopping I tend to find great deals. Therefore when I do shop I buy a lot at once but get a great deal for the amount I spend. But yeah there you have it my closet, clothes, shoes, etc. Damn Shame! LoL. Unfortunately I didn't have time to provide a pic of my own closet.

4.) I don't know if it's partly with me being as suspicious as I am or what. However, I've noticed that I can not kiss entirely with my eyes closed. I've even tried to and I can't. Not all crazy staring like some lunatic. LoL. But at some point during the kiss I must take a little peek. Maybe it's me making sure she's enjoying as much as I am. Who knows exactly.

5.) I've done this ever since I was a kid. But I still fall asleep on any car trips over an hour long. If I'm not driving I'm sleeping. Bottom line and people who know me know that. I remember my bro and I being both drunk and sleepy leaving Vegas for L.A. I'm talking big stuff like yeah I'm gone stay up don't worry. Next thing I know I'm waking up and we're in Cali. My brother was like I knew your ass was going to fall asleep. Lol. I'm headed down to Atlanta, GA next week for my cousin's wedding. I'll be riding with my Mom and possibly brother. And I'm sure I'll be sleeping half of the trip at least. lol.

6.) As a black man it's in my DNA to love chicken. However, some would say that I don't eat it properly. You see it is impossible for me to clean a chicken bone. I just can't do it. As good as it tastes I just can't eat it all. My parents would eat after me as a kid. Now my mom just talks about me still. And my son has the same issue so far. Again, I have no clue as to why.

7.) I'm not a big sweater. Unlike the typical man I don't perspire that much. It will take some pretty strenuous activity and extreme heat for my sweat glands to go to work. Even some of the 'hardest' work one could put it may only produce a few drops of sweat from me. LoL. Now you man think I have the top line of anti-perspirant. However, that's not the case. Due to the fact that I don't really sweat I actually tend to purchase the cheapest deodorant there is. It may even say stick on the bottle or just deodorant. Lol. Not that I would ever attempt to go a day without it. But my money would be on if I did forget to use deodorant that no one would ever know I didn't.

8.) In the morning I must have a drink of juice. If there is no juice it must be something equivalent (kool-aid, tea, etc). I think I picked this up somewhere along the way from my father. He would open up anything in the fridge come the morning. He didn't care whose it was, if it was in there come morning it was subject to getting opened and drank. But for me it's almost like the morning just won't start off right without this beverage. Just like some need their morning coffee, I need my juice. Unfortunately, I haven't had any the last few days and it's not a good thing.

9.) Speaking of drinking. I discovered a long while ago that I have the weird ability to be able to drink while laying down. Yep I can lay down on my back and drink a cup of whatever without spilling or choking. People that have seen me do it wonder how I can do so without damn near choking. But I have no clue I have just always been able to do this. Weird I know. LoL.

10.) May 5th of this year I would have officially been married 8 years...if I had not gotten a divorce 4 years ago. LoL. If you are following me on twitter then you would have seen me dub that day my "Non-Iversary." LoL. It was also Cinco De Mayo so my BFF and I celebrated that as well. But I need to remember the date I got divorced and start to celebrate that day. Isn't that public record? I need to do some online searching and confirm that's in the public record before I discover my ass is still married or some garbage. Now wouldn't that be some s**t? LOL.

11.) Speaking of divorce. I have taken the opportunity of having gone through an event such as divorce at a young age and chosen to share my experiences with the world. Yep I have began drafting a book. Don't ask me when it will be done or what will take place once it is done. However, I have some stories (boy do I...) and I feel like they're so great that they must be told. In fact, I tend to tell myself just in everyday life that I must be living a movie cuz some of this stuff is purely cinematic. So stay tuned. Perhaps I'll leak some chapters for you guys feedback as I get the the chance to.

12.) My Birthday is coming up on May 30th. Although I don't look it I will be 29 years old. Hard to believe myself that I am only a year away from 30. But hey I look forward to it. Just another chapter in this book I call my life. Also, speaking of B-days. Shouts out to my best friend's 25th b-day is coming up next week on the 20th. Also, a special birthday shout out to KingsMomma who is also celebrating her 25th on Sunday. She threatened me from afar via twitter to finally post a blog. LoL .

13.) I miss my granny. I know I don't see her since she moved down to ATL and have been a bad grandson and not calling like I should have. But I talked to her on Mother's Day and I look forward to seeing her when I go down there for my cousin's wedding. My grandmother has some of the funniest quotes in the world. For instance. No matter who you're with or how long you've been with or married to that person she will refer to them a certain way. So to my cousin (her oldest granddaughter) your new husband will still always be "The Boy" when it comes to granny. Another great saying of my grandmother's are actually words of wisdom. She would always say. "The one thing I can't stand is a Liar and a Thief, because if you'll steal you'll lie, and if you lie you'll steal." Now I don't know about the latter part of that, because I know liars that don't steal. But the first part is dead on!! To this date I've known thieves that will lie they ass off. So shout out to all the thieves and liar out there. And speaking of, if anyone ever gets their hands on a book called "Purpose through Pain." I doubt if it ever will surface but if on the off chance someone sees it please inform me asap. LOL.

That's it for now lucky 13. Hope everyone has a great weekend and holiday weekend if I don't update the blog by then. Also, I seem to be a little addicted to this twitter thing. So feel free to follow me there twitter.com/crecks. It is probably the easiest way to check in with the latest and greatest of one half of Brothers' Blog. Especially since I've been able to update this so rarely.

--C-Recks--

Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen #2/3

So if you read in my first Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen post I explained how and why I don't cook. If you didn't get to read it click the link. But basically I told myself that I was going to try and start cooking more this year. I would say that the first meal was a success and I got no complaints from my date. To be honest I definitely didn't expect to have cooked meal #2 & 3 in less than a month. My original goal with the starting to cook more was 1 meal per month. Considering how much I normally cook (never) I figured this would be a hell of a step up.

The opportunity for meal #2 presented itself out of the blue. The same lovely lady that braved my first meal found herself feeling ill a few weeks ago. Well I had the bright idea to take her some chicken noodle soup and orange juice. What better to make her feel better. Then I thought cool I saw Campbell's was on sale that week $1 for big cans (possibilities!! LoL). But then I thought about it. Wouldn't it be extra special if I made her this soup? Having never even thought to take on such a task, I immediately hit up my cooking mentor. She replied that she had a chicken noodle soup recipe for me and would help me out. Therefore, I committed myself to cooking this meal.

After hitting up the mentor throughout the day I unfortunately was getting no response. So when 5pm came I was blowing her phone up like a man smoking at a gas pump (Which I saw recently btw. I see the wildest stuff sometimes. LoL). Now I was on a time constraint and had to have this soup there by a certain time. So when I realized that I was going to have no help I was left with a couple of choices. 1.) Go with the Campbell's Soup option 2.) Cook this meal all by myself, 3.) Just abandon the whole idea and make up an excuse. Perhaps I got sick myself. LoL.

Well after much comptemplating I actually chose option 2. First, I found a recipe online that 'seemed' to be pretty easy. Then I rushed to the store for the ingredients and then rushed back to start cooking. I swear I cut up so many damn vegetables it was ridiculous. Lol. Although time was an issue, I was somehow able to cook the soup, and deliver it. She was very surprised and appreciative of the soup, crackers and orange juice. When she ate it she said that it was good and with that meal #2 was also a success. My mentor had run into some technical difficulties but was proud that I proceeded without her assistance. I am leaving out plenty of details and how nervous I was (which I never am) when trying to pull this one off. However, the results of meal #2 can be seen below.

(Menu: Homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers, and Orange Juice [not pictured])

Meal #3 came about just a couple of days ago. This time there was no special occasion, just another visit/date. The mentor helped me come up with a quick/easy meal that I could prepare after work in time for her arrival. Although I did get talked through this meal I will admit that it came a little more natural than the first 2. It seems as if I am definitely getting a little more comfortable after each meal. This meal turned out great. My date (my new default taste tester) really enjoyed this one and even asked for my recipe. My response was, I couldn't divulge this old family secret, but I can show you her how to make it. LoL.

I had more of the ingredients for this meal left over the next day. So just to show you how comfortable I'm actually getting with cooking, when I came home from work I cooked this same meal again for dinner just for myself. Also, I took what was left to work with me today for lunch. Now I won't count that as meal #4, but I will say that this meal is officially mastered and in my mental book of recipes. See the pictures below.

(Menu: Buffalo chicken wraps, chips & salsa, and Bahama Mamas to drink).

Now I can't promise 3 more meals within a months time; however, with the way things are going I could be up to 1 meal per week sooner than we expect. That's it for me. Happy Friday everyone and have a great weekend.

--C-Recks--

Hell's (to the naw) Kitchen

I like to consider myself to be a man of many talents. Some I utilize daily, while others just every once and a while. And of course like every one there are some things I am not too good at. So with that said, there is something I have something to admit. This may shock some of you, but I'll explain in further detail as you keep reading. So here's it is [cue dramatic music]...

I don't Cook!

Yes I know a shocker right? LoL. So you're probably thinking 1 of 2 things. Do I not cook because I don't know how to or because I am just lazy? Well I would say it is a little combination of the 2. Whenever asked whether I can cook I always reply "just the basics." So that means your basic chicken, fried or baked and any ready made meals involving browning ground beef. Also, Breakfast items: pancakes, french toast, eggs, etc. So you get it just the basics. As basic as those meals are I honestly won't even cook them.

As for my admitted laziness, I feel I have a right to be. I get up every morning and slave for the man. When I get off work I want to do 2 things, and neither involves slaving over a hot stove. First, I want to relax and second I want a nice cold beer to sip on. I know it's pretty sad (don't judge me. Lol). Even though I may not look like it, what's even sadder is that I love to eat. LoL. However, if I have to get up and cook it, 9 times out of 10 it's just not going to happen. Thank God for fast food. For further clarification here's my schedule. During the week I'm a single bachelor and as long as there is a nearby restaurant I will definitely eat. Now on the weekends I have my son. But not to worry he's not subjected to scarfing down the fast food that I normally eat. On the weekends my mom pays a visit and my son and I both get some good ol' home cookin'. Trust me he should be grateful for grandmothers, I've also tasted his mom's cooking. LoL. So as you can see there's a good balance for the most part. Lol.

Now if you want to know how often I cook let me share this funny story. About a year ago my brother was in town. Me him and my mom were at my place. Prior to getting off of work and they called me asking me to pick up some buns for some Sloppy Joe's they were making. So, as I come in from work I grab my brew and chill for a few minutes and watch TV with my mom and bro. They were pretty into whatever they were watching. Normally I would wait for one of them to cook, but for some reason that day I was hungrier than average and was ready to eat.

Determined not to starve, I got up and went to the kitchen. The ground beef was already out. So I threw it in the pan and started to brown the meat. Well about 5 minutes later the meat starts to sizzle. That's when I hear my brother from the living room "What are you doing Man!?!" I yelled back "I'm making these Sloppy Joe's man." The next thing I know my mom starts busting up laughing. So I step out of the kitchen and ask them "what's so funny?" My mom has a big smile on her face and my brother is sort of shaking his head in defeat. My mom says "we'll tell you once you finish cooking."

So I finished browning the meat, added the Sloppy Joe mix, a little seasoning, and it was done. I grabbed some buns and made me a couple Sloppy Joe sandwiches. After I finished eating they began to explain the laughter. Apparently they had made a bet. (Keep in mind competition and betting is somehow embedded in us). The bet was that I wouldn't cook at least 3 meals by my next birthday. My mom was betting for me while my brother bet against me. The bet had been going on I believe since like September of that year 2007. Well prior to this Sloppy Joe meal my mom had gained a significant advantage. Thanksgiving 2007 we all cooked separate dishes. I tried to get out of it, but my mom persuaded me to make the dressing (see pic to left). Then when Christmas came around the following month I made the macaroni & cheese and the dressing again. Therefore, when I began making the Sloppy Joe's I clenched the win for my mom. Moms was able to double up on a previous $20 bet with my brother winning her $40 because of that meal. LoL.

Well fast forward to 2009. I'm not really a New Year's resolution type person, so I don't write down what I want to do throughout the new year. However, I make small mental notes of things I want to accomplish and or do in the new year. I find it easier for me especially in case I don't them done. That way I don't have that list staring at me daily come the end of the year. So I made a mental note to perhaps, maybe, possibly start cooking more. LoL. Then a couple weeks ago I watched one of Darius' Every Day Cookin' videos. Wow!! All I can say is he make it all look so easy and beyond appetizing. I was dead set on trying it out. But unfortunately, it didn't happen. But I figured maybe one of these days. LoL.

Well that day came much sooner than expected. After I recently told a friend about an upcoming date, she suggested that I cook for my date. It took some convincing and encouraging, but she got me to do it. She even coached me through the process via phone. The result? Well despite my apprehension at first, you can see for yourself below the meal turned out fine. No burns or mishaps. Also, it tasted good. My date concurred that the meal was good as well. She also suggested that I could cook for her again. LoL. So overall I say it was a success!! So, with my first meal of the year in the books hopefully # 2 will be even better. I'll keep you guys updated.

Menu: Bow Tie Chicken Pasta, Steamed Broccoli & Garlic Toast.

White Merlot Wine.

Special Thanks to my chef mentor! LoL.

--C-Recks-- aka The Ghetto Chef Cor R D. LoL

Just Deserts

Don't worry I didn't make a simple spelling error in my title. You'll understand the spelling as you continue to read. So, a few months my best friend was having an argument with some guy about who was thirstier men or women? So she e-mails me and asks my take on it. Well my immediate response was "Men of course!" My first example proving my point to her was for her to simply log into her myspace. I told her that I bet with her just being logged in [cue the blinking on-line indicator] and not doing anything more that the guys would flock. However, if I were to do the exact same I would maybe [on a good day] receive 1 request to her every 5-10. Unfortunately, she agreed with me that guys are thirstier; therefore, she didn't try my little "social-networking" experiment.

However, my blog entry "It's a One-derful Life" prompted another friend of mines to re-open their previously closed myspace account to prove a point. On her profile she listed 10 items about her as I did in the aforementioned blog. However, she proceeded to tell me that the "resume" as she called it, prompted her to receive 70 friend requests. All of these requests came within a matter of barely 24 hours, from men wanting to be her "One." Well without even asking her to participate she conducted my "social networking" experiment for me. So my response to her was that the 10 items was irrelevant. I feel that even without her putting her 10 items on there that just a picture and no words would have gotten at least half of those requests. Why? Because guys are thirsty.

Still not convinced? Well here's yet another example. A few years ago I was in the grocery store picking up some items for my grandmother. Well my eye spotted a gorgeous woman shopping and pushing her cart along. Now before my mind could even formulate the thought of stepping up to her and say something someone had already beat me to the punch. So, I played the back and watched her shut this guy down as he walked away shaking his head. Within less than a minute I saw another guy make the same attempt only to be shut down. As guy #2 was shut down there was a third guy lurking in the shadows just hoping for his turn. Even after seeing guy #2 get shut down, the third guy proceeds to take his chance. By this time I'm simply laughing because it's become quite comical. Well it's no surprise that guy #3 got the same treatment as his 2 predecessors. The young lady proceeded to the meat department to pick out some poultry, but it wasn't long before guy #4 made his appearance. I couldn't hear what any of them were saying to her, but with her picking out chicken, I'm sure his "original recipe" line that he used wasn't too original. Therefore, he was sent home with no consolation prize along with the previous contestants.

Well I won't front that my mind was thinking hell "give it your best shot worst she can say is no." However, I then thought of it in this way. If I just saw 4 people try to cross the same bridge and all met the same fate of falling in the water would I still try to cross? The answer was an astounding Hell No!! Plug up the Gps and find yourself another route. LoL. So, I told myself I'm just not a thirsty type guy and simply admired her beauty from a distance and kept it moving.

I mean I know I'm from Chicago and perhaps thirstiness just exists here, but I doubt that's the case. I've come to realize that Chicago niggaz just take it to an extreme level. However, I'm sure that women from all over the world can attest to the fact that they've experienced many moments dealing with thirsty guys. We've attempted to come up with a list, let's go through it and see how far we get.

- The guy that buys you a drink at the club and thinks you drinking that drink is some sort of non-verbal contract obligating you to talk to him the rest of the night. So he follows you around the club all night.

- The guy that you actually decide to give your number to; however, he doesn't adhere to the 1-2 day buffer and calls you the same day.

- The guy that when he meets you and you won't give him your number decides to give you his number. But not just his number. He includes his work number, his e-mail address, his instant messenger, and just in case you can't reach him at any of those his momma's number.

- The guy that first tries to holla at you. Then when you shut him down moves on to your girl. But when she doesn't give him any love either he then makes an attempt at your other girl. Eventually he goes through the rest of your crew, but even though no one takes his bait it doesn't deter him from trying.

- The guy that you've barely known a week or 2; however, he already wants you to be his woman. But wait he's not just satisfied with you just being his girl. Within that same week or 2, he wants you to meet his momma, be his wife, and go half on a baby with him.

- The guy that calls you and when you don't answer he leaves you a voice mail. But before you can even check the voice mail he's calling you again. But when you don't answer the next time he's sends you a text message. My brother commonly refers to these individuals as Serial Dialers.

- The guy that will admittedly do anything to get you to sleep with him. Including but not limited to offering to buy you any and everything you want as if money will all of a sudden make you want to be with him.

- The guy that sees you walking down the street as he's driving and tries to get your attention by yelling from the car. When you ignore his disrespectful attempt, he continues to drive along side you trying different lines on you hoping you change your mind.

- The guy that you openly treat like s**t, yet he takes your s**t and whatever else you do to him just no matter how bad it is. He doesn't care because he just wants to be with you no matter what.


Alright that's all we could come up with. But feel free to add to the list in your comments I'm sure we've left plenty things out. But the bottom line is that although there are some thirsty women out there, they don't close to match the numbers of thirsty men. I guess some of these guys didn't get the memo that women out number men in most places. You would think that would deter them from being so thirsty; however, it doesn't and it won't.

So to those thirsty men out there. Please stop being so damn thirsty! Ya'll make it harder for us regular guys to even get a chance because of how thirsty the last guy that tried was. So calm your thirsty asses down, for starters here's a glass of water on me. LoL.
--C-Recks--
--DrizaDre--

Only In The Hood

Although I live in the suburbs I was born and raised in the "hood" for a good portion of my life. I have friends and family that still live in the "hood." So, at times I find myself driving through the hood. Well if you've ever been in the hood or through the hood then you know that there are some very unique things that you will observe and won't see anywhere else. So, I've taken the time to compile a list of things you will see "Only In the Hood." This may be an on going segment so please look for more to come. But I'll be your ghetto tour guide so sit back and relax as we explore the hood. By the way, if any of you have never been to the hood you may want to pay close attention. If you happen to be driving and you notice any of the things listed below that means you're in the hood and you may want to turn your ass around quickly. Do Not Pass Go do not collect $200. LoL.

(DJ Khaled - "I'm So Hood" Remix)

Bootleg Movies/CDs

Going to the movies is expensive now a days. Even a matinee will cost you $7. But who really goes to the movies alone? So, add another $7 for your date then popcorn/refreshments and you've easily spent close to $30 or more to watch one movie. Also, what does a new CD cost? About $10-$16? Well luckily in any hood you can find someone selling bootleg movies/CDs. If you are unable to find anyone just look for your local barbershop or beauty salon. If they're not inside then just ask one of the barbers or beauticians most likely someone has their number in their phone. As far as prices go, most times you can get 3 for $20 and if your negotiation skills are up to par you will pay even less. My rule when buying is pull out only what you are willing to spend. If you got $10 say I need the 3 for $10. Trust me if they can make $10 and it's right in they're face they're not going to turn it down. But if you pull out a $20 bill and say I need change they're going to want the whole $20. *Warning* Don't purchase any bootleg Movie or CD expecting top notch quality. Sometimes they have the portable DVD players so you can view before you buy, which I do advise you do. Because trust me the movies can have anything from babies crying, cats meowing, to people laughing and walking past the screen. Also, that new Lil' Wayne The Carter III CD will most likely have songs from The Carter I & II mixed in with the new songs. So be forewarned.

Loose Squares (Cigarettes)

I don't smoke cigarettes but I do know that smoking is an expensive ass habit. Here in the Chi I'm sure with the new Cook County Sales Tax most are paying well over $6 a pack. It's sad when an illegal habit (i.e. smoking a $5 nickel bag of weed) is cheaper. But luckily in the Hood someone has already spent the $6 for a pack of cigarettes. So, if you happen to be craving a smoke just listen for the person yelling "Loose Squares!!" Now if someone spent $6 for a box of 20 cigarettes that's about $0.30 cents per cigarette. But you're going to come out of pocket with at least $1 if you're trying to get one of these loosies. Your best bet is to negotiate and try to get maybe 3 for $2. The same negotiation rules apply. Exact change only!! Oh and don't expect a huge variety of cigarette brands to choose from. Newport is the Hood favorite so that's what you'll be getting when buying a loose square.

Speed Humps

Now you're probably thinking speed bumps are everywhere. Well the hood is the only place I've seen speed humps on residential streets. Some blocks have 2 or 3 of them on that one block. I don't know exactly what brought about these speed humps. Perhaps people were speeding so much that residents complained and this was the answer. But I think more than anything this was a tactic to help police. No one wants to be running from the police driving 50+ mph and hit one of these speed humps. That's one car chase that will end quite quickly and leave your front end pretty messed up.

Liquor Store near a Church

Only in the hood have I seen a Church that is on the same block as a Liquor Store. Sometimes they're so close they're practically next door. This is the old chicken and egg theory so I couldn't tell you which came first. But it's one of the biggest contradictions there can be. I get it though. You come from church where they preach about Saint John and then you go to the liquor store to get a 40 oz. of St. Ides. Or you go from listening to the Old Testament and then grab you a 40 of Old English. Or after hearing about his crown of thorns you get you a bottle of Crown Royal. I can go on all day. But you get the point. LoL!

Food Stamp/Link Card Hook Up

Even groceries are more expensive these days. However, if you find yourself in the store shopping and have a cart full of items be on the look out. You know that your grocery bill is going to easily be $100 or more. But if someone walks by looks in your cart and asks you are you paying in cash don't be alarmed. Hear them out. This little conversation may actually save you some money. And who doesn't like to save money? So how does it work? Well the person that asked you that question will say let me pay for your groceries on my Link Card. They will say if you have $100 worth of groceries you can pay me $75 in cash to use my Link Card. Now don't forget your negotiation skills because if they said $75 you can easily get them to $60. All you have to say is that you were going to pay with your debit/credit card and you only have $60 in cash. Trust me they will take it. However, here's the other rule. Make sure the person walks through the line with you and after all the groceries are rang up and the total displays have them run their card through and input the pin and make sure the transaction is approved first. Once it is and your groceries are bagged and in the cart then you can pay them the money. Keep in mind the link will only cover food/beverage items (liquor doesn't count). **Warning** You may want to have the grocery bagger carry your groceries out to the car, because you don't want the same person that gave you the hook up to hit you over the head in the parking lot and make off with your groceries and the $60.

The Best Chicken

I'm not talking about fake ass KFC chicken. Other than your momma or grand momma's fried chicken the best chicken will always be found in the hood. Whether it's Harold's Chicken (Chicago), Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles (Los Angeles), or Mr. P's (Memphis). If you want some good chicken go to the hood and ask someone where the best chicken is and they will let you know. But please keep a couple things in mind when visiting these fine establishments. One, they may appear to be a hole in the wall, but don't judge the chicken by the look of the building inside or out. And two, don't expect great or even moderate service. Again, you're not paying for good service or a good looking building, you're paying for great chicken. If you can keep these things in mind you'll get to taste some of the best chicken money can buy. On a side note, if you want great service you won't find it at any restaurant in the hood fast food or otherwise. LoL.

Undercover Police Cars

I'm sure I'm not the only one that hates when they see a Ford Crown Victoria and thinks it's the cops so you either slow down, stash your weed, guns, drink etc for nothing. Lol. Although under cover cop cars are not just in the hood, you will see a good number of them while you ride throughout the hood blocks. But you better not get caught doing any illegal activity when they ride past they don't call them the "Jump Out Boys" for nothing. Oh and here's a hood fact for those of you that don't know, the best way to tell if it's really a cop car is by the license plates. The plate numbers will usually start with a green M.

Police Cameras

Speaking of Police. They no longer have to patrol every block in the hood as frequently. Many Police Departments now have an eye in the sky to assist them. So if you're driving through the hood at night and see a blue light above the lamp post blinking don't worry you didn't see a shooting star or a UFO it's simply the police camera. Now I don't know how much of a crime deterrent these cameras are but you'll find them strategically placed on "high crime" blocks and neighborhoods. However, there have been plenty of times where I've driven through the hood and as I pass the police camera all is quiet on the home front. But as soon as I turn the corner of the next block I see plenty of illegal activity going on. (I was vague so I'm not snitchin. LoL). **Warning** For those of you that are involved in illegal activity remember that these cameras can zoom in up to several blocks away. So don't think that if you're 2 blocks away doing what you do that it can't see you.

Target: Rat Signs

Ever since I was born my grandmother has lived in the same house. There is an alley right next to her house. And since I can remember even up until recently they have had this sign on the telephone pole. Although I've seen plenty of "hood rats," in the 28 years I've been around this house I have never a rat in this alley. Nor have I ever seen one in any Chicago alley. I guess the targeting is working. Good Job Mayor Daley maybe the head of the rat targeting should be the Police Chief. Actually, the only time I have seen a rat was in one of the lower parts of downtown Chicago.

Ignorant Rims

"Only in the Hood" will you see a car with rims that are bigger and taller than your average 5 year old. What is the fascination is with these rims? Well your guess is as good as mines. It doesn't really make sense to me to have to carry a step ladder with you just to get in and out of your car, but hey everyone is free to waste and spend their money as they feel. If nothing else the owner of these rims has definitely achieved their goal of being seen. Is a car like this even street legal?

Children Fundraising

You're probably thinking awww what's wrong with children raising funds for their schools or sports teams? Well if I could verify that's where my funds were going then I wouldn't have a problem donating and supporting. However, I've driven through the hood and stopped at plenty intersections and had kids ask me to donate to their sports team. Now the first problem I have is not a one of these kids has on a jersey, pair of cleats, team hat, or anything representing the sports team their collecting money for. Not even a damn Bulls or Cubs jersey come on! All they have is an old tootsie roll bank or jar with white paper around it and something scribbled on it. So, I don't know if I'm contributing towards team uniforms or to some kid's new pair of Jordans. Now some of the kids I've seen at least have the fundraiser box of M&Ms and they give you a pack for $1. Although those fundraiser boxes can be purchased at any Sam's Club, at least you're getting something for your money. I remember one time years ago I saw some kids collecting money to help their momma go to the Million Woman March. True Story!!

Ghetto Entrepreneurs

Some may call them Street Vendors but in the hood you can call them Hustle Man or the PC term I came up with Ghetto Entrepreneurs. Basically at any given busy intersection in the hood you're liable to find these individuals selling almost anything you can think of. I already mentioned a few of them earlier, the loose cigarettes and the bootleg movies/CDs. But other examples I've seen for sale are as follows: Bean Pies, Final Call Newspapers, The Chicago Tribune, candy, socks, towels, t-shirts, framed pictures, etc. Also, they are very opportunistic so they won't hesitate to take advantage of an opportunity. For instance, if it's hot outside they have cold water and or pop/soda. If it's a holiday like Mother's Day or Valentines Day they will have flowers and teddy bears for sale. If the city's sports team wins a championship they have plenty t-shirts, hat, and team memorabilia for sale. The funny thing is that on some intersections you will have up to 5 or more different hustle men selling different things. Not to mention the kids "raising" money for their team and at least one bum panhandling. Don't ask me how they all get along out there perhaps Rodney King would know. But good thing it's not drugs they are selling because I don't think most dealers like sharing corners.

Hood Sports

In the hood most parents have little or no resources to provide sports equipment for their children. However, as you know a kid is going to find a way to play regardless. Sometimes it just takes a little innovation. That's how a milk crate with the bottom broken out or a wire hanger bent into a circle can become a basket ball hoop. Or that's how some old extension cords can become jump ropes. Also, this is how a stick can become a base ball bat. I remember my brother and I broke my aunt's broom using it as a bat once. We got our asses whooped of course but we had a ball playing with it. Last time I was in the hood I drove past a group of kids (one being my little cousin) playing hockey in the street. They were using an empty water bottle as a puck and everyone had something different as their hockey stick. My cousin had a single crutch. It was funny and sad to think that somewhere someone was hobbling around looking for their other crutch. LoL. Guess this is why I should donate to the kids' sports teams more often huh?

Crackheads aka Hypes

Well I saved the best for last. Now I know you were all wondering when I was going to get to them the whole time you were reading this? How could I forget about the crackheads? They're like what makes the Hood go round. Just as they say there's one in every family so you better believe that I'm not exempt. So, when I speak it's from a personal level. With that said although crackheads are every where there is an abundant number of them in the Hood. Why, do you ask? Well it's simple that's where the drugs are. A hype will steal from their own momma (I've seen it done) to get money for their next fix. So, if you come across one of these unique inividuals you never quite know what the encounter will be like. They will sell any and everything in order to raise capital to fund their habit. I've come across hypes selling all kinds of items. Whether it be food stamps as previously mentioned, or actual food. Here's a random list of items I've seen hypes selling in no particular order: Shoes (not new shoes I'm talking a pair off of someone's feet), half way working TV sets, DVDs, VCRs, food out of the freezer, used clothing, appliances, furniture, perscription glasses, purses, wallets, gloves, coats, etc. You name it a crackhead has probably stolen and sold it. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has purchased merchandise from a crackhead. Hell, Some of you may be reading this blog on a computer you bought from a crackhead. But I'm not mad at you one bit unfortunately someone else's loss can be your gain. Now I know we've discussed negotiation skills throughout this blog. But when dealing with a hype you need to just remember 2 things. Low Ball the hell out of em'!! With the other negotiations the other person you were dealing with had a totatlly different mentatilty. However, this is crackhead mentality you're dealing with so if they want $20 then you offer no more than $5. If they want $50 then you offer no more than $20. You get the idea. Basically, there may be some haggling back and forth but once you low ball them you've established that you're not paying over a certain amount. So the likely response to your initial offer will be "come on man you can give me at least $10 you know this TV is at least worth that." Feel free to either accept or counter offer here. But as always make sure you have exact change for the transaction.

That concludes our Hood Tour. Come back soon we'll be adding more attractions. In closing, I'll leave you with a few comedic interpretations of crackheads and how they act.

(Crackhead Night)

(Menace II Society)

(Tyrone Biggums)

--C-Recks--