A Fighting Chance

I will admit that I'm far from a fighter. In fact, if I told the number of fights I've been in during my 29 years of life it may be a little embarrassing. LoL. However, there are those times when you may hear a particular song and it just some how puts you in a mood. It just does something too you. Whether you're in a club a lil tipsy, driving in your car or just vibing to yourself on your Ipod. You don't even have to be mad, upset or even irritated (however if you are any of the above this type of song will only intensify those emotions) to get this feeling. That song will put you in a mood to do what my brother and I have commonly referred to KAMO or Knock A Mufucka Out! So since we haven't done a top 10 in a while here are our top 10 KAMO songs.

#10-LL Cool J- Momma Said Knock You Out


Gotta take you back to the old school here. I remember this beat coming on and shadow boxing with a towel on my head like LL. I don't know who I was preparing to KTFO (perhaps my brother for some infraction. lol) but LL definitely got me hype to do so. I still don't know why his momma was telling him to knock people out but hey if momma said it you better do it. lol.

#9-DJ Khaled - Go Hard Featuring Kanye West & T-Pain


Between this beat, T-pain with that funny voice shit and Kanye Snapping on the lyrics you can't help but to go hard. Oh can't forget DJ Khaled's Ass yelling over the beat as always. "We The Best!" Definitely puts you in the mood to go hard!!

#8-Ludacris-Move Bitch Feat. Mystikal

This may be the Road Rage Anthem here but it's still applicable. Soon as you hear those horns at the beginning tell me you're not bobbing your head and ready to push someone out of your way.

#7-Tupac-My Ambitionz Az a Ridah


"I won't deny it I'm a straight ridah you don't want to f**k wit me" Man this is honestly one of my favorite Pac songs right here. You can even hear the ring announcer in the beginning "Get Ready to Rumble." So you already know what's going down once you cut this song on. Don't ask which one, but I think there was a Mike Tyson fight where he actually came out into the ring with this playing.

#6-The Lox-Wild Out!


The Lox fresh off Bad Boy Records making Shiny Suit music what else was there for them to do but Wild Out!! I was surprised that The Lox could even come this hard when I first heard the song I had a new found respect for the trio. The song gave you specific instructions too. "If a nigga step on ya goddamn shoes! Wild Out!!" This was definitely a no-nonsense song and let you know the smallest thing could cause one to wild out!!


#5- Brooke Valentine - Girl Fight Feat. Lil' Jon & Big Boi

This song itself was so so for me. But the reason it made it to the #5 spot for us is simple. What guy doesn't enjoy a good girl fight? Lol. Of course it's always for the wrong reasons but it's the truth. So why not give the ladies their own anthem too? Assistance from Lil' Jon and Big Boi complete this record giving it KAMO status.

#4-I-20 - Fighting in the Club Feat. Chingy, lil Fate, & Titi Boi


The title alone tells you what it's all about. Fighting in the Club. We pretty much can sum this song up as hard lyrics over a hard beat prompting you to start unnecessary ruckus in the club. Add that to some grimy niggaz fueled by alcohol and the title of the song is what you get. I loved how in the video they were the ones causing the fights to start yet the fighting parties had no clue. LoL.


#3-Rocky Theme-Eye of the Tiger



The other songs were all Hip-Hop, but way before Luda, Lil' Jon, 2pac, The Lox, or even Mike Tyson ever made it big this song had all of America getting hype ready for their next fight. Yes Rocky Balboa the people's champ, the underdog had this wonderful theme song. To this day if you throw on this song it's gone put you in Rocky mode ready to go to battle in the ring. Either that or run up a bunch of damn steps.

#2- Lil' Jon - Damn Near Any song (Bia Bia, I don't give a F_k)




I know Lil' Jon & the Eastside boys are considered the Kings of Krunk, but he really should be the King of KAMO! I mean damn near any Lil' Jon song you play is gone get you up out your seat and ready to fight someone. Even on the "Love" song he did with Usher the nigga was still yelling. Honestly, you didn't know if you wanted to beat it up to the song or beat her up. LoL. But for the most of his songs between the Krunk hard hitting beats and Lil' Jon yelling What!?! over the damn track what more motivation do you need. Above are 2 of his classic KAMO songs.

#1-Bone Crusher-Neva Scared! Feat. Killer Mike & T.I.


I'm sure you were all waiting for this one. But it had to go at #1. Although Bone Crusher has since fallen off, his debut song had everyone in the club ready to fight anyone that even bumped into them. The saying "I aint neva Scared" was added to everyone's vocabulary. The menacing beat along with the taunting lyrics from Bone, TI and Killer Mike placed this song forever #1 KAMO song. LoL @ "What's my name is Shawty!!"

--C-Recks--
--Driza Dre--

I've Got a Job to Do...Doo

I want to apologize in advance for this blog. I have to discuss a subject that I really didn't want to touch. But unfortunately I've fallen victim to this on more than one occasion recently and felt it had to be addressed. I apologize if I'm being just a little gross, but I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever gone through this before. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way let's get right into it. I work a regular 9-5 job like many of you probably do. I don't necessarily enjoy the job but I go to put in my 8 hours and get out of there. I don't like to deal with things at work that I shouldn't have to. For instance, drama, gossip, and this subject I am tackling now.

Imagine this: You've sat diligently at your desk all morning working quietly not bothering anyone keeping to yourself doing your damn job. You've been drinking your beverage of choice off and on all morning (for me it's simply water). Eventually the water starts to settle and fill up your bladder. You want to run to the bathroom but you get stuck on an extended call that can't be interrupted for right now. So as soon as you finish up that call you go running to the bathroom. But no sooner than you open up the door you get hit with it like a punch from Mike Tyson in his prime!!!

Yes that's right the funk from the bathroom has just damn near knocked your ass out like Suge Knight.

WTF?? There are no other bathrooms available, so now you're stuck with 2 choices either damn near piss your pants or hold your breath for the next minute in an attempt to not inhale the toxic scent. So you choose to brave the dreaded Area 51 wishing you had a gas mask. You take a deep breath, run in, quickly handle your business. wash your hands, and run out of the bathroom. You exit feeling like you've been waiting to exhale longer than Terri McMillan. But no sooner than you open the door to come out what happens? Yep you guessed it. Someone is coming in right behind you. Dammit!! Now what's the first thing that they're going to think when they walk in? Yes they are going to think that you're the one that did the terrible deed when in fact, you were simply an innocent victim just as they are about to be. And you just know they're going to say something to someone about the bathroom being funky as hell and they saw you come out last.

Not to put my personal bathroom business out there but I personally have never been comfortable enough to let's say have a seat in the bathroom at work. I understand the concept of when you have to go you have to go but does that really mean just go anywhere? My problem is this. I work in a small office. So in it there are 3 bathrooms. 1 that only the women use, 1 that the few men that work there use, and 1 that's pretty much a uni-sex bathroom. Now keep in mind that these aren't huge bathrooms with stalls and urinals. This is just a simple bathroom. There's a toilet there, a sink and a mirror. So imagine my pain when this situation occurs. It feels like the equivalent of being trapped in the gas chamber. Then just as in the situation I described above someone happens to walk in after me. Of course it so happens I was trapped in the uni-sex bathroom and one of the ladies walks in right after I exit. So great now I'm going to be known as the guy that s**ts at work. And again the same exact scenario has happened to me on more than one occasion so I'm pretty sure by now I have a title or nickname that I have yet to hear.

Here's my problem with the whole thing. It really boils down to respect for your fellow co-workers. I mean who hasn't caught a case of the bubble guts at some point? But see in my case I feel like I'm getting caught up behind a repeat offender. Yep that's right I'm snitchin because much like in the interrogation room they are trying to pin this on me and I'm not taking the wrap for it. Plus I don't even like the lady anyways. LoL. So here's the perpetrator she's an older lady probably late 50's or early 60's, so you know they bowels are probably looser to begin with. But my problem is that she drinks 3-4 cups of coffee every morning. Now come on you should know that coffee can act as a laxative at times. So it's no wonder why she's getting up to use the bathroom all morning. Then next comes lunch time. Now no offense to any one reading that is Hispanic. However, this lady is Hispanic and she usually eats Hispanic food for lunch. You know tacos, enchiladas, beans, rice and what not. Again I'm no expert but beans usually = having to use the bathroom. Now again to each their own. I'm not comfortable doing that but you do you. However, when you get done please warn the next person not to go in after you. You know damn well Lysol Spray or any other aerosol spray is not going to cover up the smell. So either put a sign on the door or at least do like Pops from the movie Friday said "Don't nobody go in there for at least about 35-45 minutes."

Now I've worked at bigger companies before and if you got caught stinking up the bathroom they would actually put you on blast. Even though they had individual stalls in the bathroom, as you know it's never hard to tell [at least for a man] when he's doing #2. So you better believe they would notice who's shoes were dangling under the stall and come back and tell on you just like Ezel from the movie Friday. "Smokey back there taking a S**t!!!"

In conclusion, I again apologize for addressing a rather gross subject. But I had to speak on it. And if you're one of these individuals that stink up the bathroom at work and let someone else take the blame for the horrible smell. Well all I have to say is shame on you. And I hope that the next time you get caught in the bathroom with only 1 square of tissue left. Let's see if you fess up then as you're begging for someone to spare a square. LoL.

--C-Recks--

No I in TEAM

Anyone that has at least one "so called" friend has probably at one time or another been put in this horrible situation before. I would venture to say that guys go through this more frequently than women. But this is a scenario that is played out every night of the week somewhere in the world. And unfortunately, the victim is usually unsuspecting that it is even about to occur. Well that is until he hears those five dreadful words.

Picture this scene. Two guys are out kicking it at a night club/lounge sitting at the bar. Guy #1 spots an attractive female and taps guy #2 and says "look at her she's bad I'm gonna go holla at her." Guy #2 agrees that she is fine, gives his support for his guy to go do his thing, and wishes him luck. Now guy #2 is simply finishing up his drink, scoping the scene at the club, and enjoying the music. He has no clue that he is about to be put into a situation that he was truly not prepared for. So guy #1 walks back over to the bar smiling. When his friend notices the Kool-Aid smile on his grill he says "you must have came up on her number or something." Guy #1 responds "no even better than that her and her girl wanna kick it after we leave the club." Guy #2 exclaims "For Real? What's her girl looking like?"

Okay let's press pause on this little scenario. I just want you to be prepared to hear the 5 words that I was referring to just above because they're about to come up in a second.

So, Guy #1 hesitates when his boy asks that question. He even has the nerve to pretend like he didn't hear what the question was over the loud music. So guy #2 repeats the question louder and moves closer to his friend's ear "WHAT'S HER GIRL LOOKING LIKE?" Again he hesitates. But finally he musters up the courage and says "well that's the thing man you're going to have to..." (For those of you that have been anticipating those five words here they come). "Take One For The Team."

Now coming to terms with a "Take one for the team" request will almost always follow a number of stages before final acceptance of this mission (if you so choose to accept it).

1.) First of all you're likely to yell or say "Come On Man!!", "WTF," or something similar to this as your initial reaction.

2.) Then a couple curse words will for sure follow. The taboo MF word is acceptable in this instance.

3.) Next, you will try to weasel your way out of it by saying something like "I just took one for the team last month." Or "I'm always taking one for the team when will it be your turn." However, since there are no set rules or parameters when it comes to "taking one for the team" none of this is even relevant.

4.) Here you will attempt to hype yourself up. You may think to yourself "maybe she's not that bad looking." Or "as long as she's at least a 4 I'm cool." In the case of the above example you may take a few shots of your favorite intoxicant to prepare yourself.

5.) Finally, you will just accept that this is your boy and you will go along with his hair brain scheme. However, once you say yes you will always close with "you owe me big time!!!"

So going back to our scenario, guy #2 has said yes to his friend's request and committed to entertaining the sidekick while his guy tries to make his move on the "good looking" female. However, once one is put in this position they never quite know what to expect. They can hope for the best all day, but should be prepared for the worse. So, guy #2 tries to probe his friend to tell him how the her buddy looks. Unfortunately, the only response he gets from his guy is "you gotta see it to believe it." At this point guy #2 hangs his head in disbelief thinking "what have I gotten myself into?" He swiftly orders about 3 shots of Patron from the bartender and as he takes the first shot the ladies walk up. He takes one look at his company for the remainder of the evening and downs the other 2 shots before introducing himself to the ladies. Yes that's right the buddy he's just gotten hooked up with is looking like a worse version of Wanda from In Living Color. And she's "Ready to Rock His World!!" LoL.

Now some of you that have been lucky to never be put in this position may be thinking along the lines of "it's just one night, so what's the big deal?" Or perhaps you may be thinking that it can't always be where the female turns out to be ugly right? Well because you've never been in this position is the only reason you'd ask such a question. But if you have been, then you know as well as I do that just like a D.N.A. Paternity Test it's 99.9% certain that taking one for the team = the ugly friend. Unfortunately, I have plenty of examples to pull from when it comes to "taking one for the team."

The problem with taking one for the team is that it's never something that you have the option of declining. That's the nature of the taking one for the team snakemove. It slithers up on you and the next thing you know you've been bitten with venom and have no choice but to suck the poison out. LoL. Do you still need further convincing? Okay I have another example of how you can just be thrown into taking one for the team without even expecting to.

One evening I stopped at my guy's crib and we just chilling and drinking I believe we were watching the game. So, midway through the game he takes a phone call and steps away and comes back to watch the game. I think nothing of him taking the phone call and the whole time continued to watch the game and drink my beer. Well about 45 minutes later another phone call comes in to my guy's phone. He then answers and says "I'm coming to the door now." So, me being the curious individual that I am I ask "you got your girl coming through or something man?" He responds "yeah and she got her cousin with her. I may need you to take one for the team," and laughs then walks downstairs to get the door.

Now this was/is my man 100 grand, but prior to this incident I had already been thrown into this situation with him before and the outcome was I fell into that 99.9% percent. So, I pretty much already knew what the deal was going to be here as well. Therefore, I quickly proceeded through the 5-stages that I previously mentioned. As I sat there I felt like R.Kelly on trapped in the Closet. I first looked out the window and realized I was on the 3rd floor so I couldn't jump. I tried to rack my brain for a way out of this but I was drawing a blank like a pencil with no lead. The next thing I know in walks my guy and behind him are his girl and lastly his girl's cousin. Now if she was attractive then this example would not even be valid. So let's just say my guy's girl got the better of the genes while her cousin got the hand me down genes (jeans) that were flooding with the holes and stains in them. LoL. Or as my brother mentioned (in the blog 100 Dials and Runnin') the proverbial "ugly stick" may have been used on her Rodney King style.

All I could do is laugh and say to myself "damn here we go again!!" So, I said hi to the ladies and went back to drinking my beer and watching the rest of the game. Honestly I happen to have met his girl already, but I didn't even pay attention to what the cousin's name was. When the game ended my guy was hugged up with his girl on one couch, I'm in a chair and her cousin is on the other couch. I proceed to the kitchen to get me another drink this time something stronger so I could hopefully get through the rest of this evening. But as I'm fixing my drink my guy comes up to me and once again says those words. "Man I need you to take one for the team." I quickly advised him that I was already doing that. He continues on stating "Naw I need you to take her somewhere. I immediately exclaimed "I don't care how much you pay or say I'm not taking her ass home!!" He says "No not to your crib just somewhere take her to get something to eat or something." Once again following the stages I said plenty of curse words, tried to get out of it, plotted a way out (which I found), and finally agreed to help him out. But as you'll see I had at least one last trick up my sleeve like a magician.

So, my guy tells the cousin to just follow my car and that her and I are going to kick it. Now I admit I was a little intoxicated and shouldn't have been driving. However, as I stated I had one last trick up my sleeve. So as we bent the corner and hopped on the highway, I quickly turned into Dale Earnhart Jr., Mario Andretti, Jimmie Johnson or any NASCAR driver you want to name. I never knew a 2001 Dodge Stratus couldn't travel so fast. Unfortunately for her, the 86 Buick Skylark she was driving couldn't quite keep up. LoL. Now I don't advocate driving intoxicated to anyone out there; However, under these circumstances you have to do what you have to do.

Although some may be thinking you should be ashamed of yourself leaving that poor girl like that. Well don't blame me. You can either blame the alcohol or blame my guy. LoL. Matter fact, as I stated in the blog (A Penny For My Thoughts) I'd blame the females (dimes) that only hang around with friends that look worse than them. If you would hang out with better looking friends then no would ever have to be put in a position to take one for the team just to get to you. LoL. But as for me ditching the unnamed cousin, well as they say when you're put in an adrenaline based situation your reaction is either fight or flight. And as manly as this chick looked she may have knocked my ass out Mike Tyson style. LoL. Therefore, I chose the latter of the 2 and dipped out.

The moral to that story is the same moral to the whole blog. It simply proves that at any point and time you can be put in a position to "Take One For the Team." If you want to avoid these situations I suggest that you hang around friends that are married and not single. Other than that there is always potential to be put in a "Take One For the Team" position.

Now I know I reported that 99.9% of the time taking one usually turns out bad. However, the other 0.1% of the time it is possible to have different results. The only person that I personally know that can testify to this is my brother. While in Phoenix, a friend of his casually called him and asked him to accompany him to meet a female he met off the Internet along with her friend. When he told me he was going to do this, I had to warn him that he may be in for it. Not only was this the first time his friend was meeting this girl, but he met her off the Internet. So there was already no telling if the female he was going to meet would even turn out to be the same as the one he had been seeing in the pictures online. Then, for my brother to be tagging along and taking one for the team there's really no telling what he was going to encounter as far as her buddy. However, as luck had he happen to fall into that 0.1% and that the girl he was set up with turned out to be Fine. Actually, she was better looking than the girl his friend was meeting. Who knew it was even possible? Imagine that!! But please please do not expect his outcome to be the same as your next take one for the team mission because they most likely will not be.

P.S. To the mystery unnamed cousin my apologies for leaving your Buick Skylark in the dust on the Dan Ryan Highway. However, if I was looking like the guy below you or none of you reading can lie and say you wouldn't have done the same thing if not worse. So, no hard feelings. LoL.

--C-Recks--