Monday, January 19, 2009

Off Da Hooky!!

Many of you are off of work today in observance of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. Unfortunately, I'm not as lucky as some of you. My job doesn't give me the option to have this day off, so I'm here still slaving. And yeah I'm kinda hating on y'all on the low. LoL. However, I do plan on calling in sick tomorrow.

Yes we all know that tomorrow is the day we've been waiting for since November 4th. Yes the inauguration of our nation's first black President Barack Obama will take place tomorrow. Some of you lucky individuals will have the opportunity to attend the historic event in person. I will not be in attendance, so for those of you that do attend, I look forward to hearing all about it. So you're probably wondering why am I calling off then?

Well the reason I plan on calling off is because I have a job interview tomorrow. Now I won't front things at my job are on very thin ice, and at times I feel like I weigh 500 pounds. For this and many other reasons I have been trying to find a new job. So, as ecstatic as I was when I got that call back after my phone interview to interview in person, I was still reluctant. The reason being that the only date they had available for this interview is tomorrow. Yep the same day as the inauguration. Just in case you're still wondering what's the big deal I'll break it down even further.

I'm the ONLY black person in my office now. Tomorrow is the inauguration for our first black President. Therefore, I feel like regardless of what excuse I use to call off, in their minds they'll be thinking "bullshit, this nigga is just calling off because of the inauguration." Well that is false I will actually miss the majority, if not all of the inauguration due to the scheduled time of the interview. But it's cool I got my DVR set to record. As much as I'd like to watch live, unless Barack is going to hook me up with a job I'm going to have to check out the DVR version of the inauguration. LoL.

But this whole calling off tomorrow got me to thinking about excuses and reasons used to call off from work. I don't call off too often, but the times I have I'm sure I've used some type of excuse that they just had to accept as truth. For instance, my brother and I took a road trip to St. Louis, Mo. back in November to watch the Chicago Bears play against the St. Louis Rams. After drinking during tailgating and during the game, we knew we weren't driving back home to Chicago. Which meant I would have to call off work on Monday morning. Well since I was quite intoxicated it was nothing for me to wake up early that morning and in my best sick voice call off. I mean technically I was sick right? Plus sick voice and hang over voice pretty much sound the same so no one could tell the difference.

Funny thing about that story is when I came back to work that Tuesday a co-worker of mines asks me "Did you go to the game Sunday?" I immediately said no. Then she goes "oh okay I just asked because I went and someone told me you may have been going." Dammit I forgot I told one person in advance I may be attending the game. Also, I remembered my brother saying he was on the Jumbo Tron and he was excited about it. So I'm thinking to myself I hope she didn't see me on the screen as well. Luckily, this is someone that I'm cool with so she wouldn't snitch on me. I hope. But I just found it funny.

Now as a general rule I try not to call off with excuses that involve any type of emergency for fear they may come true. For instance, I've never really used the whole "my son is sick or had an accident" excuse. Only because I would feel horrible if something were to happen to him or if he got sick after me saying so. However, I won't hesitate to claim I'm sick or something that has to do with me.

So to be honest I have no clue what excuse I will be using tomorrow when I call off. I may just freestyle it as the phone rings and come off the cuff. I'm good like that. LoL. But I tried to find some info online that would be informative but this is all I got. "The top three reasons healthy employees call out sick, something 35% of workers admit to are personal errands, appointments, catching up on sleep, and simply relaxing, according to hiring managers surveyed by They had some bizarre excuses used by some employees, but they were simply stupid excuses that would never fly or even be believed by the stupidest of managers. For instance "I was sprayed by a skunk, I was spit on by a venomous snake, or a hit man was looking for me."

Needless to say I won't be using any of those dumb excuses. However, I'm curious to know what excuses you guys would suggest for me to use? Also, what are your most outrageous and or frequently used excuses to call off from work? (That worked of course). Hopefully, the whole interview on inauguration day will have some significance and I'll land this job. Wish me luck y'all. Below is a funny clip about black people calling off from work by D.L. Hughley. Classic Material. The part I'm referring runs from about the 1:00 to 1:45 minute mark.

**** UPDATE ****
For those of you that may be wondering what excuse did I come up with to call off today here it is. I left a voice mail saying this. "Hi _(Manager)_ I'm calling because I just dropped my son off at Pre-School and on my way to work they called me and said I had to come back and pick him back up because a bunch of kids were sick. My son was just sick last week so I don't want him to be exposed. My son's mom and grandparents are out of town so I'm the only one available to watch him. I will try to see if I can find a sitter and come in later I will let you know."

I called later. "I was unable to find anyone to watch my son so I will just be in tomorrow morning any questions or suggestions you can call me at #...."

The interview went very well. Hopefully, I'll have some good news come next week. But we'll see tomorrow the reaction I get for me having called off today.

Thanks for everyone's advice.



The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I have MLK day off.. but not tomorrow and we have been warned that tomorrow is a mandatory day to work.
They claim because the bank was closed for a long weekend so it will be busy.
Funny thing it is just my branch and my manager's motives are questionable.

Which is why I need to get out of there but I want my own thing and I am praying hard that this works.
I am putting the little money I got into it and I can't afford for it to be a bust.

Anyway, I have used my children to call off a few times.
I know that is bad.
I never say they are hurt or really ill because I don't want anything to happen to my babies for real.
I may say I need to go to the school. Or something like that.
Most times though I have only called off because I or my children were really sick.

Now calling off tomorrow and being the only black person is going to make it hard to think of something that they wouldn't say yeah right.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

One time, I called out and told them I spranged my ankle. I made sure it was my left ankle as I needed to drive with my right foot. I made sure I wrapped my foot in an Ace bandage for about 3 days and limped for about 2 days all to make this look authentic.

LadyLee said...

All I know, you better not call in and tell the Oppressor that you have a job interview... so you got that part right.

With that said, just call in sick. You are "sick of the job" and trying to get a new hustle, so technically you are being truthful.

I rarely take off... I have 15 weeks of sick leave and 6 weeks of vacation time.

I told my boss I was calling off tomorrow. Dont seem quite right to work on such an historic day.

reedwrites said...

I have off Monday and Tuesday but that's because I work in DC and even if I was not going to the inauguration, all bridges in and out of the city are on lock down.

I rarely take time off but on the rare occasion, I've said sick (read: mental health day).

I've used car issues (but make it something minor that requires time)

Whatever you tell them they're gonna think what they want to think, so just chalk tomorrow up to the game...Good luck on your interview btw!

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

I always just call and act like I can hardly move for some unknown reason and will probably end up in the ER... dramatic I know lol.

Miss.Stefanie said...

I always play hooky! Im Queen Hooky! "Im sick" is so over used that now I just say, "Personal reasons". By law they cannot ask me. Thank the heavens I dont work today or tomorrow, but if I did...I would totally play hooky. The sad part is....since my hooky has to go through so many people, no one really minds. Ha! Sad that I am not missed though :(

Adina said...

This is a tuff situation only because of tomorrow being such a special day...Reedwrties is absolutely correct in saying they will think whatever they want so with that said, don't even kill yourself with coming up with an excuse you feel may be believable!!!

I wish you luck on your interview tomorrow!! :)

SheBloggs said...

I don't have off today.. really sucks, but they give us 1 wk & half in Dec off, so we can't use the lil onezy twozy holidays until May..

BUT.. I was planning calling off tomorrow, then I read this blog and was crackin up. I would like to do it for Big O, but I worked out and my whole body is sore, and I just don't feel like dealin with these folks a whole actual week..

So.. I'm sayin "*ahem, I'm sick. I just don't feel well today..See you tomorrow." Hang up. Easy as a hore on Saturday.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

ROFL! I can't wait to hear what you come up with. I used to try to be creative, but now I just tell them I need to be off. I cracked up at being on t.v....I often wonder if people playing hooky are caught that way. Too funny.

Steph said...

Im at work!! Honestly didnt even know it was MKL day:S. OOPS.

What I do when I want to call in sick is act sick the day before before you're leaving so they dont think you're playing them. Then call in the next day and say that you're feeling worse.

Do itttt!!!!!!!!

She's Gotta Have It said...

The last time I called out of work, I said that I had an eye doctor's appointment, which was totally believable because my eyes were irritated that whole week and my boss noticed. I actually went to a taping of the Tyra Banks show.

The producers said that the audience members with the most shocked looking expressions would get the most face time on camera, so I spent the whole show with an expressionless face, so the camera wouldn't land on me. I still spent the next couple of weeks wondering if my boss or coworkers would see me on camera if they watched the show LOL

Mizrepresent said...

I was thinking about calling off too...since i heard they gave govt employees liberal leave...but then again...i just know i won't be doing anything except watching tv and talking i'm going...was trying to catch up with some co-workers, but nobody is answering their phones, so i'll be there... watching tv with the rest, and hell yeah...dancing and shouting as we inaugerate our new Black President...wouldn't miss it for the world...cuz i was there during Rodney King, and OJ, so i know how these fools will react...'s all Good!

ToshaRenelle said...

To say you have food poisoning is a good excuse. You went to a MLK celebration and Pre-Inaguruation party after work and you ate something bad. Now, you have the 24 hour food poisoing stomach virus!

clnmike said...

Pleeeaaaseeee....thats what sick days and PTO are for, they know better than to ask me. The only reason I worked today is because I forgot to put my time in.

malika the m.i.l.f. said...

well, being that i'm not working, i was off today. but i've got class tomorrow. bastaads. but the one time i did need time off, i told the folks that i had a stomach virus. when you tell folks you have a stomach virus, i promise you, no one wants details. or you could just say food poisoning. i once had food poisoning. i love you too much to tell you what the hell i went through.

Princess Katrina said...

Good luck at your job interview! I wish I had a job interview to go to...Ive been looking for good jobs but I think I might end up going to grad school to get my masters degree.

Im very excited about the inauguration tomorrow and I totally understand that you wish you could see it live, but its all good! At least its happening!! :) Im so excited!

As of right now I have never really used any of the excuses, mainly bacause I have been substitute I can come in whenever I want. Its definitely not a job I want to stick with and finding a permanent job in this economic crisis within the public school system is hard. BLAHH!!!

But, again, Best of luck to you!!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Ill be coming by your blog! Your very interesting :)

Untouched Jewel said...

That baseball story reminds me of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, where he ditched school and was at a Cubs game in Wrigley stadium, and was on the Jumbotron. Too funny.

JuJu said...

yea i wasn't off either :( but i had to play hooky!! hehe but for good reasons - skool was closed meaning my son was at home therefore i had to be home!! but back to work tomorrow even tho we should get it off too since its such a big day in history!! GO OBAMA!! yay!!!

Anonymous said...

i was hoping the state would give us the day off but i have to go in :(

whenever i call in, i call FIRST thing when i still have to sleep in my voice and say i'm not feeling too hot. which technically is the truth, since 1st thing in the morning i'm NOT looking ot feeling too hot lol

Smokie said... know, you could have requested to have today off...

I requested Jan 20th off as SOON as Obama won the election. Being one of only 4 blacks in the office, I did not want to be caught at work while the Inauguration was going on!

I feel bad for you. lol

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

I once lied that a non existant aunt had died
when i got into work the next day people had bought me a card, flowers and a small contribution for funeral costs etc
I was mortified I took the card and flowers but absolutely refused the cash, i said my aunt was a very rich lady so no need for the cash
its 5yrs and to my knowledge no one ever found out phew

Brothers Blog said...

Thanks everyone for their good luck on the interview and excuse suggestions. I've added an update on the blog showing which excuse I came up and used.

Brothers Blog said...

@ Sharon - Yeah I feel you on getting out of there. Good luck on your solo ventures I know you can do it.

@ Tee - LoL @ you actually wrapping your ankle. Did you have crutches too? lol

@ LadyLee - man you a work-a-holic all those sick hours and vacation time left.

@ Reedwrites - Can't wait to hear about your experience. But you're right they'll think what they want.

@ Tuotierugif - Drama always sounds good.

@ Miss.Stefanie - LoL @ the queen of hooky. Well at least you don't have to explain.

@ Adina - Thanks. And you're right I'll come up with something off the cuff.

@ She Blogs - Lmao @ easy as a whore on saturday. Hope you feel better though.

@ Curvygirl - I've updated what I came up with. I may have been drunk passed out when the jumbotron caught us so I may be good.

@ Steph - SMH, shame on you. I've done the act sick the day before plenty of times.

@ She's Gotta have it - LOL @ you on the tyra show looking serious as to not be on cam. But you could've said that was an old episode they don't know the taping date. lol

@ Mizrepresent - LOL @ being there for Rodney king, and oJ. I was there for both as well and this one too.

@ Tosha - Yeah I thought of the food poisoning as well. U know black people don't eat anyone's potato salad. lol

@ ClnMike - yeah my job make they own rules up. So that's a no go.

@ Malika - Yeah that stomach virus is a popular one I see.

@ Princess Katrina - Thanks so much for the Good Luck!

@ Untouched Jewel - That's what I thought of when he told me too. lol

@ JUJu - That's pretty much the excuse I used check the update. lol

@ Smokie - Yeah in hindsight that would have been best. But honestly, the interview is the only reason I needed off. And that came out of the blue.

@ MissDef - Wow! That's krazy. I can't believe they gave you money and cards. Wow I would have felt bad on that one. Glad no one ever caught wind of that one. Yours was the best by far!

mrs. mary mack said...

LOL Luckily my job does absences by an online system so I never really have to explain why I'm not at work. Most teachers have to secure subs but since I teach an "optional" program nobody cares when I'm missing. We get 10 days to call in per school year, and I only have 4 left! LOL Abuse at its finest!

Anonymous said...

yea..... I was off that day...sorry you wasnt able to have that day off freely..........

yep yousa slave.