I came across this video on Myspace last week and I found it to be hilarious. These guys are brutally honest when it comes to their bedroom performance. Far from what most R&B songs try to fool women into thinking. But they addressed a subject I already had in draft but never completed and posted. So, I am now incorporating the 2 together. One of the main subjects the video address was the sexual performance time. My man broke it down to the exact number of minutes, you will get out of him. He wasn't fronting and telling you he was gone go at it all night like you hear in most R&B songs (Don't the Viagra commercials say an erection lasting more than 4 hours should seek immediate medical attention? LoL). For instance, songs like Freak Me (Silk), Freakin' You (Jodeci), Makin' Good Love (Avant), All Nite All Day (Ginuwine), Bump & Grind Remix (R.Kelly), Bed (J.Holiday). Etc. This list can go on for days. But you best believe I know what to put on when its sexy time! Lmao.
Now a good while ago there was a rare occasion where I was watching the morning news. Actually I wasn't even watching, but it happen to be on as I was getting ready for work. Well the topic of sex came up and my ears perked up like a dog hearing kibbles and bits. So I of course began to watch more closely. The show had a sex therapist on and she was discussing a new study done that reveals the actual length of time the "average" woman prefers sex to be. Utterly intrigued by this point I stopped ironing my clothes and was glued in front of the TV.
Well much to my shock this so called expert goes on to tell me and the world that was up at 8am that a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine stated this nonsense. "Sex lasting less than 3 minutes is considered as too short, while more than 13 minutes of sex are regarded to as too long. 7 to 13 minutes were rated as most “desirable” length of time of sex. Many sex therapists consider coitus that lasts as little as 3 minutes to be of adequate length."
Now my first reaction upon hearing this was to literally LOL. Followed by a swift "Bullshit!!" And lastly topped off with a "Get the F**K Outta here!!" Then I pondered to myself "I hope for the sake of men that that time length included some 4-Play, [no make that 12-Play] or else this study is about to sky rocket the divorce rate higher and faster gas prices 6 months ago."
I later went online to gather more information about this so called study. Well you can read it for yourself here. Basically this study surveyed a number of random men and women in Canada and the U.S. and based on those responses and their expert opinions they have come up with this conclusion which they chose to publish in this medical journal.
Alright now it's my turn. I'm definitely no sexpert nor do I have a doctorates in medicine or any certificates in sex therapy. Therefore, I am only speaking from my own personal perspective and experience. So with that said I feel like there is no damn way that a woman is going to be satisfied with a man giving her 3 minutes of sex! And if this is true I'm sure most men like me are asking themselves where are these alien women that they speak of? Or has Captain Kirk already got to them all? LoL.
Maybe it's just me, but even the 7-13 minutes that they claim is desirable just seems to be off about a good 20-30 minutes or more. Now I've seen it done in as little as 3 minutes [As Nas Said "I'm Hercules Hercules when it comes to Relations." LOL ;-)] and definitely in the 7-13 minute range. But "IF" (and that's a big "if" for some...sorry to say) in that 7-13 minutes the man manages to satisfy his woman and bring her to orgasm, in my experience that doesn't mean your job is done. Although I've been told and have heard women say "As long as I get mines it doesn't matter how long it lasts." I'm not too sure most women would say alright I got my one now it's done. Sadly, that's usually the man saying such a thing, whether verbally or non-verbally. Cue the Snoring (Zzzzzzz). I personally can't get down like that. But then again, perhaps I'm just a tad greedy and a bit of an over achiever. LMAO. But we have to remember the fact that women are multi-orgasmic. So to a man this translates to good job in the first 7-13 minutes now do it a couple more times just for good measure. LoL. And if you do happen to finish also, you better catch your breath and get back out in the ring for round 2. In the words of the Great Muhammad Ali "Rumble Young Man Rumble." LoL.
I wouldn't personally know about this, but I gotta ask. What if you're one of those unfortunate brothers that can't last long enough to get the job done? LoL SMH! Would the ladies prefer he go the honest route like the guys in the video and put it out there up front? Or for him to just keep quiet and see what it does or don't do? Or to just Lie? LoL. I'm sitting here just envisioning this scenario. The moment is getting heated up and "It's about to go Down." All of a sudden the man stops then turns to the lady and says "Hey just so you know this ain't gone last but about 7-13 Minutes. But don't worry in that time I'm gone give it all I got." I'm a gambling man so I'm willing to bet all I got that most any woman's clothes will magically come back on Cris Angel style. Then someone is leaving right away, either her or you depending on whose place you're at. I know the ladies have a thing about wasting a number on a guy that don't "come with it" so to speak. And if you don't know what I mean by wasting a number then ask the female that's closest to you right now I'm sure she'll school you real quick. LoL
But regardless of which the ladies prefer there is one thing that remains a big No! No! Yep you guessed it that would be Bragging! I don't know if you can blame the R&B Songs that brag about putting it on you all night long, screaming my name, and putting you to bed and tucking you in or what? Yes these things can and do happen. However, for the life of me I don't know why guys brag when it comes to their bedroom tactics. I mean if it's your woman or someone you've already did the damn thing with and they can vouch for you then by all means get your brag on. But if you're trying to get a woman to sleep with you for the first time, don't brag (trust she's heard it all before). Especially if you know that your results in the past have been less than stellar, then why even say anything? If she asks play it off! "Aw well you know I do what I do!" LoL. But don't set yourself up to be embarrassed and eventually put on blast. I've read too many blogs of women (even some of our followers.lol) blasting a brother out for not coming with it in the bedroom. But I'm sure if he didn't brag about what he was gone do prior to, then she may have over looked the infraction and spared him the embarrassment. Yet you chose the wrong door like that one on Let's Make A Deal with the Donkey behind it. So, now everyone at the job, school, church (or where ever you met her) and the entire blog community knows about your "short comings." LoL.
Honestly, I prefer the quiet and reserved approach and not to even mention it at all. Now if you ask I'll be honest and let you know how my past performance has been graded and that I have not gotten any complaints. However, I won't guarantee anything on a first time being sexual with someone. I know for a fact that all women are different; therefore, just because I did XXX Y and Z with a previous girl and blew her back out, doesn't mean that's going to automatically translate to the new girl. This is no different than if you were to change jobs. You may have been a top performer at your previous job, but this is a new company and possibly new and more challenging "position." So, basically you can't guarantee any results. LoL.
When it boils down to it I personally feel like the pressure is mainly on men to perform. Unfortunately, the man is supposed to feel privileged to even have an opportunity to have a go at it. Therefore, he better make the best of the chance he's being given. Now, maybe for some the pressure is too much and they can't step up and make it happen. Although no man wants to be considered a Minute Man , especially since they make songs about them (50 grand I get this on one take. LoL). But I guess just like anything in life there are somethings some are better at. And consequently that means that someone must also be bad at it as well. However, I can only speak for self. So before y'all start questioning me I must say that I've never fallen into this 7-13 minute range category. I can get material witnesses to testify if I have to. LoL. In fact, if I could quickly I'd tell this story about the Robin Thicke CD... But sadly I've run out of time and can't, so you have to use your imagination as to what I'm referring to. LoL. Any one that can guess it I got a prize for you. LMAO.